0:24:09 > 0:24:11Here's a Scots word I'm fond of
0:24:11 > 0:24:14that's still very much in circulation.
0:24:15 > 0:24:18It's an old Scots word with Germanic roots.
0:24:18 > 0:24:20"Boak" as in "dry boak", as in "the heaves",
0:24:20 > 0:24:22as in, "That's giving me the dry boak."
0:24:22 > 0:24:25- HE RETCHES - Yeah?
0:24:26 > 0:24:30Here are three things that give ME the dry boak.
0:24:31 > 0:24:33A hair in my porridge.
0:24:34 > 0:24:36HE RETCHES
0:24:38 > 0:24:41A fried egg in my porridge.
0:24:41 > 0:24:43HE RETCHES
0:24:45 > 0:24:48Actually, just porridge.
0:24:48 > 0:24:49HE RETCHES
0:24:49 > 0:24:51TOILET FLUSHES
0:24:56 > 0:24:59I like "boak" because it's expressive. It's onomatopoeic.
0:24:59 > 0:25:04It sounds like what it is. Go on. Try vomiting without going "boak".
0:25:06 > 0:25:07See?
0:25:08 > 0:25:12I like "Giving me the dry boak" - there's a wonderful rhythm about it.
0:25:12 > 0:25:16"You're giving me the dry boak, you're giving me the dry boak, you're giving me the dry boak."
0:25:16 > 0:25:20In fact, many of my favourite Scots expressions have this wonderful rhythm about them.
0:25:20 > 0:25:23For example, "I could eat the scabby heid aff a wean,"
0:25:23 > 0:25:28which means you're so hungry that you could eat the scarred head off a child.
0:25:28 > 0:25:31"I could eat the scabby heid aff a wean" - it's practically hip-hop.
0:25:36 > 0:25:37HE BEATBOXES
0:25:41 > 0:25:44I could eat the scabby heid aff a wean
0:25:44 > 0:25:46Eat the scabby heid aff a wean
0:25:46 > 0:25:47Sca-sca-scabby
0:25:47 > 0:25:48Heid aff a wean
0:25:48 > 0:25:50Eat the scabby heid aff a wean.
0:25:55 > 0:25:57It's not just the rhythm, though.
0:25:57 > 0:26:00It's the succinctly presented, yet highly loaded, visual images.
0:26:00 > 0:26:03Here's a belter - "Away and bile yer heid",
0:26:03 > 0:26:06which means, "Go forth and boil your head".
0:26:06 > 0:26:08That's pretty hardcore, isn't it?
0:26:08 > 0:26:12They're not asking you simmer a finger or lightly saute your chin.
0:26:12 > 0:26:15They're asking you to actually boil your entire dome.
0:26:15 > 0:26:21And to do it yourself, to lower your own head into a large pan of salted, boiling water.
0:26:21 > 0:26:24That is a pretty compelling image, is it not?
0:26:28 > 0:26:30I'm sorry, I can't... I can't do it.
0:26:31 > 0:26:33Can't do it.
0:26:33 > 0:26:36And what about, "I could eat the scabby heid aff a wean"?
0:26:36 > 0:26:39Imagine - you're so ravenous that you're poised there,
0:26:39 > 0:26:42hovering with your fork and knife over a child's head.
0:26:42 > 0:26:47And not just a child's head, but one that's flecked with crusty scar tissue.
0:26:47 > 0:26:50Well, no need to imagine. Here's a wean.
0:26:54 > 0:26:56Here's "the heid aff a wean".
0:26:57 > 0:26:59Here are all the scabs.
0:26:59 > 0:27:04I've not eaten for three days, so I'm about to eat the scabby heid
0:27:04 > 0:27:07aff a wean. Here we go.
0:27:08 > 0:27:10I think I'll start with a cheek.
0:27:12 > 0:27:14That was rare. Oh, scab.
0:27:14 > 0:27:17Now, one of my very, very favourite Scots expressions is,
0:27:17 > 0:27:19"Your coat's on a shoogly peg."
0:27:19 > 0:27:23"Shoogly" - one of those great Scots words that sounds like what it means.
0:27:23 > 0:27:27Shoogly, shaky. Precarious. Shoogly.
0:27:27 > 0:27:31And if your coat's on a shoogly peg, well, you're on thin ice, pal.
0:27:31 > 0:27:34Things are very, very finely balanced.
0:27:34 > 0:27:36It could all come crashing down at any minute,
0:27:36 > 0:27:38like a live action game of Buckeroo.
0:27:43 > 0:27:46You got chocolate all over that lovely expensive jumper.
0:27:50 > 0:27:52It was your sister's jumper, but...
0:27:56 > 0:27:58It was your sister's chocolate.
0:28:06 > 0:28:08I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to leave now.
0:28:08 > 0:28:11It would seem that consumption of a child's head was inappropriate,
0:28:11 > 0:28:15even in the interests of illustrating the lovely Scots language.
0:28:15 > 0:28:19Anyway, cheery-bye the noo and lang may your lum reek.
0:28:19 > 0:28:21Oh. Lang may your lum reek.
0:28:21 > 0:28:24Lang may your lum reek.
0:28:24 > 0:28:26Lang may your lum reek.
0:28:26 > 0:28:29I said lang may your lum reek! Awreet?
0:28:29 > 0:28:32Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd