0:00:01 > 0:00:04From a very early age, I knew there was something special about my father.
0:00:04 > 0:00:08I would lay awake on Sunday mornings staring for hours
0:00:08 > 0:00:10at the ever-changing paintings
0:00:10 > 0:00:13that hung in the bedroom I shared with my older brother.
0:00:13 > 0:00:14This programme contains some strong language.
0:00:15 > 0:00:16I was intrigued, puzzled,
0:00:16 > 0:00:20and in the middle of the night, when a car light reflected through
0:00:20 > 0:00:23onto one of the half-bird/half-human creatures
0:00:23 > 0:00:25staring out from the canvas,
0:00:25 > 0:00:27I'm not ashamed to say I was a little scared.
0:00:27 > 0:00:33Mainly, for me, I would be making up stories about what was going on,
0:00:33 > 0:00:34and if it was figurative,
0:00:34 > 0:00:37so I'd think about the characters and things like that.
0:00:47 > 0:00:51For a young boy, it's quite a lot to take on board, really.
0:00:56 > 0:01:00Well, you know, death is always just round the corner.
0:01:02 > 0:01:05Epic artists are a rare breed.
0:01:05 > 0:01:09How rare was confirmed by a national paper in Scotland,
0:01:09 > 0:01:13which recently named John Scotland's greatest-ever artist.
0:01:25 > 0:01:26Heyyy!
0:01:26 > 0:01:30This is a film about my father, John Bellany,
0:01:30 > 0:01:33and a family taking root in London.
0:01:33 > 0:01:39The journey started at the College of Art in Edinburgh, where two students met, married and moved to London.
0:01:54 > 0:01:59Five and a half years I was at Edinburgh College of Art and, for me, that was,
0:01:59 > 0:02:03at that time, the greatest art college in the whole of Britain.
0:02:36 > 0:02:38Och, fabulous memories.
0:03:22 > 0:03:25He was finding it more and more difficult
0:03:25 > 0:03:27to find space in his life for us.
0:03:27 > 0:03:30I don't have memories of, erm...
0:03:31 > 0:03:37..us as a family enjoying days out or...
0:03:37 > 0:03:39or days in.
0:03:39 > 0:03:42It would be a few snatched hours.
0:03:42 > 0:03:46He had the world to conquer, he was taking on the world.
0:03:46 > 0:03:51He did love the children, there's no question about it.
0:03:51 > 0:03:53It had to be on his terms.
0:03:53 > 0:03:57They were having big arguments and shouting and screaming, and...
0:03:57 > 0:03:59I just used to hide under the covers.
0:03:59 > 0:04:02After he left, I was just in tears.
0:04:02 > 0:04:03Oh...
0:04:06 > 0:04:09It was the end of my dreams.
0:04:09 > 0:04:12I think I was seven when he moved out.
0:04:12 > 0:04:14I saw it instantly with Jonathan.
0:04:14 > 0:04:16I said, "Where's Daddy?"
0:04:16 > 0:04:20and Mum said, "Dad's gone... he's just gone away on holiday."
0:04:20 > 0:04:23That was even more heartbreaking than my own pain.
0:04:23 > 0:04:25"Yeah, but he's coming back soon,"
0:04:25 > 0:04:28and you sort of lived by that. But of course he didn't.
0:04:34 > 0:04:37He moved into a bedsit in Battersea High Street, above a chip shop.
0:04:37 > 0:04:40We'd go there at weekends. It was pretty grim.
0:04:40 > 0:04:44It was always, like, leaks in the roof and rats and mice.
0:04:44 > 0:04:45It was a right dump.
0:04:45 > 0:04:49A lot of my school friends came from broken homes, just like me,
0:04:49 > 0:04:52and some were a lot worse off than I was - they never even saw their dad.
0:05:11 > 0:05:15And eventually he met Juliet.
0:05:15 > 0:05:16She was really nice.
0:05:16 > 0:05:22She was sort of one of the first real posh people we'd...ever known.
0:05:22 > 0:05:26I remember one of the first times we met her and she had an epileptic fit.
0:05:26 > 0:05:29And then out of the blue they got married.
0:05:29 > 0:05:33I said, "Well...do you want them to go to the wedding?"
0:05:33 > 0:05:35"No, no, no, no."
0:05:35 > 0:05:38We felt as if we weren't important enough.
0:05:38 > 0:05:40You know, our dad marrying somebody else.
0:05:40 > 0:05:44That was like the nail in the coffin for my mum and dad getting back together.
0:05:44 > 0:05:48I would have loved to have been there. I took that as a real body blow.
0:05:48 > 0:05:52I think it's all wrapped up in his guilt about Mum and Dad splitting up.
0:05:52 > 0:05:54And if we came along
0:05:54 > 0:05:59he would probably have to face a bit of the guilt on that day.
0:05:59 > 0:06:07Jonathan just went immediately to his bedroom and just lay face down on the bed and sobbed his heart out.
0:06:09 > 0:06:11And I'll never forget that.
0:06:11 > 0:06:13I was just hurting.
0:06:13 > 0:06:16And, if anything, you felt even more vulnerable.
0:06:16 > 0:06:22It was the end of his dream as well that maybe we'd come back together.
0:06:22 > 0:06:25He just a little boy and...
0:06:25 > 0:06:28it was just...heart-rending.
0:06:29 > 0:06:31Paul and Anya were younger.
0:06:31 > 0:06:35I don't think Anya even remembers John living with us,
0:06:35 > 0:06:39and Paul was just a little toddler and...
0:06:39 > 0:06:41just full of the joys of life.
0:06:41 > 0:06:48And the significance of the split-up didn't really dawn on him, perhaps, I don't know.
0:06:48 > 0:06:52But Jonathan it did. He needed a dad and he didn't have one.
0:06:58 > 0:07:03# I wanna wear braces and boots like my mates
0:07:04 > 0:07:08# There's gotta be more to life beyond the school gates
0:07:09 > 0:07:14# I want some excitement, escaping life cos it's cruel
0:07:14 > 0:07:20# It was written on the bridges, "South London skins rule"
0:07:20 > 0:07:24# I wanna, I wanna, I wanna be one of the Battersea Skins... #
0:07:25 > 0:07:30You didn't want to be a run-of-the-mill Joe Soap. You wanted to be someone.
0:07:30 > 0:07:36He gravitated towards a group that would be to him like a second family.
0:07:36 > 0:07:41Then of course Paul followed suit fairly soon afterwards.
0:07:41 > 0:07:44I was at the Tube station, and all these black kids, about 25 of them,
0:07:44 > 0:07:47I heard them all running and shouting.
0:07:47 > 0:07:51Next thing I know I've been pulled down the stairs and kicked around
0:07:51 > 0:07:53and they've actually stabbed me in the head.
0:07:56 > 0:08:03What the skinheads stood for was the opposite end of the spectrum from my beliefs.
0:08:03 > 0:08:06I remember one time going along to a police station in the East End,
0:08:06 > 0:08:10and they said, "Look, we know they're just young kids.
0:08:10 > 0:08:14"I'm going to give them a good talking-to and sometimes that can bring them to their senses."
0:08:14 > 0:08:16And there were my two little boys...
0:08:16 > 0:08:22They weren't little now - they were probably about 12 and...15.
0:08:22 > 0:08:27And there were the Dr Marten boots plonked outside.
0:08:27 > 0:08:29We got arrested because we did stupid things.
0:08:29 > 0:08:33Some of the times we were just naive, but we were really young.
0:08:33 > 0:08:38We put ourselves into vulnerable situations and that's kind of what happens.
0:08:38 > 0:08:41I'd often try to talk to him about the boys.
0:08:41 > 0:08:45He didn't think there was any serious problem
0:08:45 > 0:08:48and, if there was, he certainly didn't want to know about it.
0:08:48 > 0:08:51We lived in this tiny flat.
0:08:51 > 0:08:55For years, me mum had to sleep on a put-down bed in the front room.
0:08:55 > 0:08:56But it had been a happy home.
0:08:56 > 0:09:00We became too hard to handle, so she kicked us out to live with my dad.
0:09:00 > 0:09:03At the time, he was, like, killing himself with drink
0:09:03 > 0:09:06and my stepmother was a ghost-like figure
0:09:06 > 0:09:09who always was away at a psychiatric hospital in Epsom.
0:09:10 > 0:09:12I didn't see any future at school.
0:09:12 > 0:09:15In this world of total chaos the only stability came from
0:09:15 > 0:09:19being part of this sort of right-wing movement, really.
0:09:19 > 0:09:22Mum went to work when I was too young.
0:09:22 > 0:09:26I needed her to be there and pick me up from school, but she didn't - she was working by that stage.
0:09:26 > 0:09:31It was like losing two brothers but almost like losing two parental figures as well.
0:09:31 > 0:09:36I just really had a very bad nervous breakdown.
0:09:36 > 0:09:42I used to spend days, after Anya was at school, just lying on the floor curled up in a ball.
0:09:42 > 0:09:48By this time, I'd started doing a part-time degree in psychology at London University.
0:09:48 > 0:09:56When I told my mother that I was going to do this degree, she said, "But, Helen, the children need you."
0:09:56 > 0:10:02And she was quite right, but, you see, I had to do something, because I just felt I...
0:10:02 > 0:10:05I was just nothing. I just...
0:10:05 > 0:10:08had no self-respect whatsoever.
0:10:08 > 0:10:12I thought I'd failed at everything, and I needed to do it.
0:10:12 > 0:10:17I also thought it would help with whatever employment I might get.
0:10:17 > 0:10:19But it was a big mistake
0:10:19 > 0:10:24and that was just far too much for the children.
0:10:24 > 0:10:26So that's where I let them down a lot.
0:10:57 > 0:11:00# What can you do with the drunken painter, what can you do with the drunken painter
0:11:00 > 0:11:04# What can you do with the drunken painter, earl-aye in the morning? #
0:11:04 > 0:11:05Everybody we knew drank a lot.
0:11:05 > 0:11:07It wasn't a problem.
0:11:10 > 0:11:13I was part of an Arts Council delegation,
0:11:13 > 0:11:15all in sort of bowler hats and suits,
0:11:15 > 0:11:18coming round to select a picture of his.
0:11:18 > 0:11:21And of course he was in great form.
0:11:21 > 0:11:28It was a nice sunny day, so... the old Bacardis and stuff was all...all brought out.
0:11:28 > 0:11:32If you've been to Windmill Drive, you can't remember what happened next!
0:11:32 > 0:11:35Er, I can't remember very much,
0:11:35 > 0:11:40but I hope a Bellany picture went into the collection!
0:11:44 > 0:11:49Even in the time when he was drinking really quite heavily and everything,
0:11:49 > 0:11:52I mean, the studio was always full of canvases.
0:11:52 > 0:11:56There were always the paint brushes, there was always the paint.
0:11:56 > 0:11:58That was first things first.
0:12:00 > 0:12:03During the day, "I'm ruminating," he would say.
0:12:03 > 0:12:06And he would drink all day and then, about ten o'clock at night,
0:12:06 > 0:12:11he would climb into his old boiler suit and everything, and he would paint all through the night.
0:12:11 > 0:12:14You could say he was an alcoholic, all the rest of it,
0:12:14 > 0:12:17but he still put in about ten or 12 hours in the studio every day.
0:12:17 > 0:12:19How did he do that?
0:12:20 > 0:12:22He just grasps it, doesn't he?
0:12:22 > 0:12:26He seizes the hellishness of it and then there's a masterwork.
0:12:26 > 0:12:30I think part of it is obviously therapeutic.
0:12:30 > 0:12:32This is him getting over it, too, and painting it out,
0:12:32 > 0:12:35and it adds another dimension to the work as well.
0:12:35 > 0:12:40Once, I remember being woken up, it must have been about three o'clock in the morning, saying,
0:12:40 > 0:12:44"Come on, Anya, we're going to play a football match on Clapham Common. You've got to get up."
0:12:44 > 0:12:49And my dad just lying on his back with the accordion still going,
0:12:49 > 0:12:51drunk as a sack.
0:12:51 > 0:12:54# Send him to the shops for more Bacardi, send him to the shops for more Bacardi
0:12:54 > 0:12:57# Send him to the shops for more Bacardi, earl-aye in... #
0:12:57 > 0:12:59He was easily going through a bottle a day of Bacardi.
0:12:59 > 0:13:02He was never really an approachable dad anyway.
0:13:02 > 0:13:07You were always a bit scared of him and scared of his reactions to...
0:13:07 > 0:13:11any kind of question, because he was just so utterly unpredictable.
0:13:11 > 0:13:15# Gonna run away cos you won't stop drinking, gonna run away cos you won't stop drinking
0:13:15 > 0:13:17# Gonna run away cos you won't stop drinking, earl-aye in the morning... #
0:13:17 > 0:13:22After one sort of big row with him, with me and my brother, we decided that we'd have to leave.
0:13:22 > 0:13:27We left him a letter saying, "You can't keep on drinking like that,"
0:13:27 > 0:13:30and then just got up early and just went.
0:13:30 > 0:13:33It was a difficult thing to write because we didn't want to hurt him.
0:13:33 > 0:13:37I wrote this letter to Dad saying, you know,
0:13:37 > 0:13:40"Really worried about your drinking,"
0:13:40 > 0:13:45and then said, which... I can't believe even now...
0:13:45 > 0:13:48"We won't come and see you unless you stop drinking."
0:13:48 > 0:13:50We didn't hear from him,
0:13:50 > 0:13:55and then I got this letter back from Juliet saying, "Your dad isn't an alcoholic.
0:13:55 > 0:13:57"He really doesn't have a drinking problem."
0:13:57 > 0:13:59And then that was it, nothing.
0:13:59 > 0:14:03And I think one weekend I just went back, and nothing was said.
0:14:05 > 0:14:07# Not looking so good but it's not my drinking
0:14:07 > 0:14:09# Feeling pretty rough, probably something I've eaten
0:14:09 > 0:14:12# Down another glass, get this thing beaten, earl-aye in the morning... #
0:14:12 > 0:14:14It became his best friend in the end.
0:14:14 > 0:14:20Desperate to stop him drinking, cos we thought, there's only one place he's going to end up.
0:14:20 > 0:14:22And, lo and behold, he did.
0:14:22 > 0:14:26# We'll bury you in the morning! # Time, gentlemen, please!
0:14:29 > 0:14:36On 30th September 1984, my father took his last drink.
0:14:39 > 0:14:45We were on a day trip to Dieppe in France to celebrate my sister's 14th birthday.
0:14:45 > 0:14:48We stopped at a cemetery to pay homage to Georges Braque.
0:14:48 > 0:14:53He was bending over the grave for us to take a photograph of him.
0:14:53 > 0:14:56I found it incredibly emotional.
0:14:56 > 0:14:59I had a card in my pocket, just by luck.
0:14:59 > 0:15:01It was of...
0:15:01 > 0:15:04an opening for an exhibition of mine in London.
0:15:04 > 0:15:09And I just wrote on the card, "In fond memories of Georges Braque."
0:15:09 > 0:15:15My heart was in my mouth, because I just thought his own grave couldn't be very far away.
0:15:15 > 0:15:18I knew he was very ill.
0:15:18 > 0:15:20He was cracking jokes.
0:15:20 > 0:15:24It was the happiest day, and yet it was just tragic for me
0:15:24 > 0:15:28because it raked up all the happy memories that we'd had
0:15:28 > 0:15:34and I didn't think there was going to be an awful lot of time left for him.
0:15:34 > 0:15:37As we were leaving the harbour, I remember going on the deck
0:15:37 > 0:15:45and watching the little church on the top of the cliffs disappearing into the darkness
0:15:45 > 0:15:48as the boat headed out into the Channel.
0:15:48 > 0:15:56And I remember being in tears, just thinking, "What a terrible mess we've made of our lives."
0:15:56 > 0:15:59I said, "Look, I want to show you something,"
0:15:59 > 0:16:04and I...I said, "What do you think this is?"
0:16:04 > 0:16:11and I pulled up my trouser leg and I could see by the expression on their faces
0:16:11 > 0:16:17it was... it was something very dangerous.
0:16:17 > 0:16:20It seems a strange thing...
0:16:22 > 0:16:29..for me to have been doing, but when I was on my own with the children, I was working with...
0:16:31 > 0:16:34..people with addiction problems.
0:16:34 > 0:16:37I was quite well-placed to know what to do
0:16:37 > 0:16:40when I was called on to help John.
0:16:40 > 0:16:45That's when they discovered it was liver failure.
0:16:45 > 0:16:49At that stage, I didn't know that he'd damaged himself so badly
0:16:49 > 0:16:52that he wasn't going to recover.
0:16:59 > 0:17:05I never thought I was going to die, but I knew I was getting weaker and thinner and...
0:17:05 > 0:17:07everything was all falling to bits.
0:17:07 > 0:17:11And then I started to think about my life in general
0:17:11 > 0:17:16and what I had done and what I'd done wrong and what I'd done...
0:17:16 > 0:17:20It was mostly on what I'd done wrong that I dwelt,
0:17:20 > 0:17:22and all the mistakes I had made,
0:17:22 > 0:17:26all these things came flooding into my mind,
0:17:26 > 0:17:30and I just thought what a real bastard I had been.
0:17:30 > 0:17:33And of course that was so negative,
0:17:33 > 0:17:38but that's what happens when you think back on your life like the drowning man.
0:17:40 > 0:17:46And they told me that he could... die quite suddenly of a haemorrhage.
0:17:46 > 0:17:49Though I hadn't lived with him for 11 years...
0:17:49 > 0:17:53I'd moved on, I'd made a life for myself with a lot of difficulty,
0:17:53 > 0:17:57but, emotionally, I was exactly in the same place I was
0:17:57 > 0:18:01when I got married to him. I really cared about him.
0:18:01 > 0:18:05Maybe you have to go through these trials and tribulations
0:18:05 > 0:18:10as part of penance for your bad behaviour, I don't know.
0:18:10 > 0:18:14The whole thing's such a huge mystery to me, it's so complex
0:18:14 > 0:18:17that I think trying to put it into words, for me, is...
0:18:17 > 0:18:21is useless, because I'm not a wordsmith, I'm a painter,
0:18:21 > 0:18:27and it comes off the end of the brush easier than it does...
0:18:27 > 0:18:30for me trying to...articulate it.
0:18:30 > 0:18:34Although Juliet was in hospital, they were still married,
0:18:34 > 0:18:40and I knew that she wasn't in any position to be able to look after him,
0:18:40 > 0:18:43and he couldn't look after her.
0:18:43 > 0:18:45I had to...
0:18:45 > 0:18:50really put all these things aside and just concentrate on looking after John.
0:18:50 > 0:18:55And it may be one week, it might be a month, it might be a year -
0:18:55 > 0:19:01whatever time he had, I wanted to help him make it the best he could.
0:19:01 > 0:19:07John believed that he was getting better and that there was a future.
0:19:07 > 0:19:09There's no question about that.
0:19:09 > 0:19:13I had to go and talk to somebody myself professionally.
0:19:13 > 0:19:19But I hoped and prayed that this was the end of the drinking.
0:19:19 > 0:19:25I just was so delighted to be alive and just thought what a fool I had been.
0:19:31 > 0:19:35Sometimes I think, "I wish I could just say thank you to Juliet."
0:19:35 > 0:19:38She really, really made a big difference to my childhood.
0:19:38 > 0:19:41You couldn't get much out of Dad.
0:19:41 > 0:19:44He was just in his own thing all the time.
0:19:44 > 0:19:47And Mum was working full-time and she'd often
0:19:47 > 0:19:50not be back until seven, then she did the degree and that was later.
0:19:50 > 0:19:53She had suffered from manic depression.
0:19:53 > 0:19:56There's no cure for it.
0:19:56 > 0:20:01And no matter how much you cherish her or love her, it wouldn't make any difference.
0:20:01 > 0:20:03It was a nightmare situation.
0:20:04 > 0:20:07And he wanted a divorce.
0:20:07 > 0:20:10When she was out of hospital, she lived with her mother.
0:20:10 > 0:20:14I had a great soft spot for her mum because she was an artist as well.
0:20:21 > 0:20:24PAUL: Juliet had been tortured by her illness for years.
0:20:24 > 0:20:29On my brother's birthday in 1985, we heard that she'd taken her own life.
0:20:33 > 0:20:36A few months later my father died,
0:20:36 > 0:20:38and I thought, "My whole world
0:20:38 > 0:20:42"is crumbling in. It's all falling apart."
0:20:42 > 0:20:46The homes of my grandparents up in Scotland were like a haven to us.
0:20:46 > 0:20:49You knew you were safe and warm and it was a normal life, and they just
0:20:49 > 0:20:56cherished you and took care of you and spent time with you and you absolutely adored being there.
0:20:56 > 0:21:00When my granddad died, that was just another massive blow.
0:21:00 > 0:21:04I was convinced it had to be his last Christmas, he was so ill.
0:21:04 > 0:21:08I was being told that he might not be there next year.
0:21:08 > 0:21:14It's difficult to think that you've got to prepare yourself for somebody's death.
0:21:14 > 0:21:19I found relief by just crying to the children from time to time.
0:21:28 > 0:21:32I think he just decided that he really wanted to try and put things right
0:21:32 > 0:21:36and remarry my mother, 20 years after he'd married her the first time.
0:21:36 > 0:21:39I wanted it to be back the way it had been at the start.
0:21:39 > 0:21:44But Anya was going through this phase where I think she felt
0:21:44 > 0:21:50betrayed by me because of all the upheaval in the family.
0:21:50 > 0:21:54She and I became very close and dependent on each other.
0:21:54 > 0:21:59She wasn't really for the wedding at all, and in fact,
0:21:59 > 0:22:03one of the photographs that Paul took of her at the time, you can tell.
0:22:03 > 0:22:07ANYA: You'd think you'd be jumping for joy. But I didn't feel that.
0:22:07 > 0:22:09I thought, "Well,
0:22:09 > 0:22:12"I've got married, but I think I'm
0:22:12 > 0:22:14"going to maybe pop off any second."
0:22:14 > 0:22:20And again, I was left thinking, "Is this the end that they had warned me about?"
0:22:27 > 0:22:29Almost two extremes, aren't they?
0:22:29 > 0:22:32You know, their childhood, our childhood.
0:22:32 > 0:22:36I think, even now, they can't really comprehend that.
0:22:36 > 0:22:38I had an idyllic childhood.
0:22:38 > 0:22:42The children were your life and your parents were your life.
0:22:42 > 0:22:45You adored them. The love was boundless.
0:22:45 > 0:22:47We were churchgoers,
0:22:47 > 0:22:50and you really looked upon
0:22:50 > 0:22:54everybody who went to church,
0:22:54 > 0:22:58they were almost like family members.
0:22:58 > 0:23:02They grew up not only with a great education, with the security of
0:23:02 > 0:23:05their family, their cousins, their aunts and uncles, nans around them.
0:23:05 > 0:23:08A lovely, warm, secure place.
0:23:08 > 0:23:12It was just such
0:23:12 > 0:23:14a caring environment.
0:23:14 > 0:23:17And I think, for us,
0:23:17 > 0:23:19you just couldn't get more different.
0:23:19 > 0:23:22I remember shouting at her once, "For goodness sake,
0:23:22 > 0:23:26"do you not realise your father's not...he's not going to last?"
0:23:26 > 0:23:28I was at my wits' end.
0:23:28 > 0:23:32It was a difficult time and I suppose that pushed me into being
0:23:32 > 0:23:34a stroppier teenager than perhaps I would have been.
0:23:34 > 0:23:41She was behaving really badly and I suppose there was just very little to hang on to.
0:23:41 > 0:23:45I just thought, "I'm just going to go out and I'm just going to do whatever I want."
0:23:45 > 0:23:48I got expelled from school for messing about far too much.
0:23:48 > 0:23:50She would get into trouble quite often for this.
0:23:50 > 0:23:55They said, "You can't come here any more. You're going to go to a unit,"
0:23:55 > 0:23:56which were just for drop-outs.
0:23:56 > 0:23:59You don't look at it and think, "God, that was an awful childhood."
0:23:59 > 0:24:03In some ways, it was awful and it was really, really hard.
0:24:03 > 0:24:06But there were many, many bits of it that I wouldn't change.
0:24:06 > 0:24:10Growing up in that creative atmosphere was wonderful.
0:24:10 > 0:24:12It's formed who we are.
0:24:18 > 0:24:22The National Portrait Gallery offered him a one-man show, and it was the
0:24:22 > 0:24:26first time they'd ever given a one-man show to a living artist.
0:24:26 > 0:24:30I had been asked by them to do a portrait.
0:24:30 > 0:24:35It can be either Lord so-and-so or Lord thingumajig or Lord...
0:24:35 > 0:24:37And I said, "They're all Lords.
0:24:37 > 0:24:39"I don't really know many Lords."
0:24:39 > 0:24:42And they said, "You don't have to know them." And I said,
0:24:42 > 0:24:44"Oh, I don't know about that.
0:24:44 > 0:24:47"If I'm going to be in the National Portrait Gallery,
0:24:47 > 0:24:49"it has to be somebody I...
0:24:49 > 0:24:52"You've got to know the person, not intimately,
0:24:52 > 0:24:56"but you've got to know them with some respect, reverence."
0:24:56 > 0:24:59And he said, "Well, who would you want to do?"
0:24:59 > 0:25:01"The person that comes to mind is George Best."
0:25:01 > 0:25:05They thought that George Best was too controversial a figure.
0:25:07 > 0:25:09So I said, "OK, Ian Botham."
0:25:09 > 0:25:13And by that time, I was looking like death warmed up.
0:25:13 > 0:25:15We drove up to Cheshire.
0:25:15 > 0:25:19We parked the car and then these Alsatians came running out
0:25:19 > 0:25:22with ties around their necks, with the Botham colours on.
0:25:22 > 0:25:28He had his strip on, the Tim Hudson Hollywood XI strip.
0:25:28 > 0:25:33Tim Hudson had his own cricket team, comprising Ian Botham, Brian Close.
0:25:34 > 0:25:38I did the portrait, and it was going really well,
0:25:38 > 0:25:40and, you know, the teeth were agony.
0:25:40 > 0:25:43I did it in one fell swoop.
0:25:43 > 0:25:47It just was one of these inspired things. It just...
0:25:47 > 0:25:49Wham! It was sheer expressionism.
0:25:49 > 0:25:52It was amazing the coverage that the Ian Botham painting got.
0:25:52 > 0:25:55It was in all the newspapers, it was on the television.
0:25:55 > 0:25:57It was even on the Six O'Clock News.
0:25:57 > 0:26:02It's a difficult one - do you want a Bellany or do you want a portrait of Botham?
0:26:02 > 0:26:06Frankly, if you want a portrait of Botham, I'd get you to take a photograph of him.
0:26:06 > 0:26:10If you want a Bellany, then you get Bellany to paint Botham, so Bellany paints Botham
0:26:10 > 0:26:15in the way that Bellany sees Botham, which is as this massive, sort of giant figure.
0:26:15 > 0:26:18He was a hero, and that was how Dad saw him and that was how he portrayed him.
0:26:20 > 0:26:23It's not understanding what an artist is about.
0:26:23 > 0:26:27One newspaper had put, "1986, the year of Bellany."
0:26:27 > 0:26:29It was amazing.
0:26:29 > 0:26:32I was offered a retrospective exhibition
0:26:32 > 0:26:34at the National Gallery of Modern Art.
0:26:34 > 0:26:37That was about the biggest compliment
0:26:37 > 0:26:40that can be handed to any Scottish artist.
0:26:40 > 0:26:44And I was only 44.
0:26:44 > 0:26:48The whole stretch of his career, all his paintings from each phase.
0:26:48 > 0:26:52The people had thronged the garden in front of the gallery.
0:26:52 > 0:26:55There were hundreds and hundreds of people.
0:26:55 > 0:26:59Everybody was clapping and cheering and things.
0:26:59 > 0:27:03Oh, I'll never forget that night. That was...
0:27:03 > 0:27:05one of the highlights of my whole life.
0:27:05 > 0:27:09You have the National Gallery saying, "Here's a great artist."
0:27:09 > 0:27:11That's the turning of the tide, isn't it?
0:27:11 > 0:27:17From that moment on, he's an old master, he's in the history books.
0:27:17 > 0:27:22I remember thinking, "Well, if this is his last
0:27:22 > 0:27:26"few months of life, I couldn't have wanted anything better for him."
0:27:41 > 0:27:45He also was asked to do the poster for the Edinburgh Festival,
0:27:45 > 0:27:47which is a great honour.
0:27:47 > 0:27:52During the festival, Sean Connery had had his portrait painted.
0:27:52 > 0:27:53Micheline said,
0:27:53 > 0:27:57"Sean's having the time of his life with John painting him.
0:27:57 > 0:28:00" 'It's like having a wee brother that I can speak to,'
0:28:00 > 0:28:05"and he says, 'we're so close and many things in common.' "
0:28:05 > 0:28:08That was such a fantastic thing to say.
0:28:08 > 0:28:13In the autumn, he had a big show at the Serpentine Gallery in London.
0:28:13 > 0:28:18We discovered that David Bowie had been a collector of John's work
0:28:18 > 0:28:20for a number of years.
0:28:20 > 0:28:23Just opened the door, and David Bowie.
0:28:23 > 0:28:25You think, "Has he got the right house?"
0:28:25 > 0:28:30He felt on the same wavelength and immediately saw him
0:28:30 > 0:28:32as a kindred spirit.
0:28:32 > 0:28:35I don't think David realised just how much
0:28:35 > 0:28:38he kept John's spirits afloat at that time.
0:28:38 > 0:28:44But I was so grateful for occasions like that.
0:28:54 > 0:29:00Just catching a glimpse of him and it was just a face of death.
0:29:00 > 0:29:03That's such a horrible experience...
0:29:03 > 0:29:04It's only because...
0:29:04 > 0:29:06Yeah, OK, OK, OK.
0:29:06 > 0:29:09I couldn't waken him up one morning.
0:29:09 > 0:29:13And when I did, he was completely delirious.
0:29:13 > 0:29:15He didn't know where he was or what.
0:29:15 > 0:29:18# The vultures were a-circling
0:29:18 > 0:29:23# The scent of death in the air
0:29:23 > 0:29:26# My compass long since broken
0:29:26 > 0:29:30# Causing waves of distress and despair
0:29:30 > 0:29:34# Am I the ghost of John Bellany
0:29:34 > 0:29:37# Disfigured and slumped on the deck?
0:29:38 > 0:29:42# Just another tortured soul
0:29:42 > 0:29:45# Sinking like a broken wreck? #
0:29:45 > 0:29:50And we were in A&E for - it seemed like hours.
0:29:50 > 0:29:52I was just trying to hold his arm down
0:29:52 > 0:29:54and he wasn't aware I was even there.
0:29:54 > 0:29:56He looked like he was in his last throes of life.
0:29:56 > 0:30:00# We tried our best to reach you
0:30:00 > 0:30:04# But you were blinded to our task
0:30:04 > 0:30:08# And so you tried to hide your hell
0:30:08 > 0:30:12# Behind a brush, a sea of oil and a mask... #
0:30:12 > 0:30:16My face was completely blank, as if I wasn't there,
0:30:16 > 0:30:20and I was shouting my head off at the top of my voice.
0:30:20 > 0:30:23# ..I just want to hug and embrace you
0:30:23 > 0:30:27# Fearing dust is all that's left in my hands... #
0:30:27 > 0:30:30It was about nine o'clock at night by the time we got up to the ward.
0:30:30 > 0:30:33He was still unconscious.
0:30:33 > 0:30:37I was flying up the Thames, trying to grab the sides of the tunnel.
0:30:37 > 0:30:41It was colossally claustrophobic.
0:30:41 > 0:30:44# I haven't fulfilled my quest in life
0:30:44 > 0:30:48# I must fight to realise my goals... #
0:30:48 > 0:30:51The nurses and the doctors came round and they said,
0:30:51 > 0:30:53"Can you tell me the name of the Prime Minister?"
0:30:53 > 0:30:57and I says, "That's so easy.
0:30:57 > 0:30:59"It's..."
0:30:59 > 0:31:02And I couldn't remember.
0:31:02 > 0:31:08And I got asked many, many questions and I couldn't remember anything.
0:31:08 > 0:31:12And then I said, "Look, I'll see if I can draw."
0:31:12 > 0:31:15I got the bit of paper and it just went...
0:31:16 > 0:31:18And I thought, "I'm dead.
0:31:18 > 0:31:21"I can't draw, I'm dead."
0:31:21 > 0:31:24Haunted him for a long, long time.
0:31:24 > 0:31:28"Do not go gentle into that good night
0:31:28 > 0:31:31"Rage, rage against the dying of the light."
0:31:33 > 0:31:36# The fire still burns within you
0:31:36 > 0:31:40# I know you've got the fight... #
0:31:43 > 0:31:48The day came, just before Christmas 1987,
0:31:48 > 0:31:54when they told him there was nothing else they could do for him.
0:31:54 > 0:31:58He shouted out, "But I want to live as long as Picasso."
0:31:58 > 0:32:01And my blood ran cold because this was it,
0:32:01 > 0:32:04this was the moment that I'd been dreading.
0:32:04 > 0:32:06That's when I got the death sentence,
0:32:06 > 0:32:11when Dr Wing said, "I'm afraid
0:32:11 > 0:32:15"your life expectancy has been greatly reduced."
0:32:15 > 0:32:19And I said, "What do you mean by that?
0:32:19 > 0:32:22"Can you tell me exactly what you mean by that?"
0:32:23 > 0:32:28And then there was a silence, and then the penny dropped
0:32:28 > 0:32:31and I said, "You don't mean I'm going die, do you?"
0:32:31 > 0:32:34I went to talk to the doctors,
0:32:34 > 0:32:40and it came about that one of the doctors had suggested a transplant.
0:32:40 > 0:32:42I don't think it had been taken seriously,
0:32:42 > 0:32:45because nobody had mentioned it was a possibility.
0:32:45 > 0:32:48And I was feeling really, really low.
0:32:48 > 0:32:52I thought, I'm just giving up the ghost lying here,
0:32:52 > 0:32:54nothing cheering me up at all.
0:32:54 > 0:32:57Then I heard this music, and it was played very gently,
0:32:57 > 0:32:59but it was getting nearer.
0:32:59 > 0:33:02I thought, "Heavens above, I'm dreaming now."
0:33:02 > 0:33:06And he came in and he just said, "How's the patient today?"
0:33:06 > 0:33:10and that just gave me such a lift.
0:33:10 > 0:33:13And to quote Graham Greene - I used to have this in my studio -
0:33:13 > 0:33:15"There is always hope."
0:33:15 > 0:33:19I thought, "My goodness, Rolf Harris has given me hope
0:33:19 > 0:33:23"to soldier on and really take the world on and get back.
0:33:23 > 0:33:26"Can't give up life as easily as that."
0:33:50 > 0:33:54# Cold winter was howlin' o'er moorland and mountain
0:33:54 > 0:33:57# And wild was the surge of the dark rolling sea
0:33:59 > 0:34:03# When I met about daybreak a bonnie young lassie
0:34:03 > 0:34:07# Who asked me the road and the miles to Dundee... #
0:34:09 > 0:34:13And of course, every day, every minute of every day
0:34:13 > 0:34:16was just a huge risk by that time.
0:34:16 > 0:34:19He couldn't breathe properly, he couldn't swallow,
0:34:19 > 0:34:20he couldn't swallow food.
0:34:20 > 0:34:26He couldn't walk, his legs were swollen, his teeth were falling out.
0:34:26 > 0:34:29He was in agony with this skin complaint.
0:34:29 > 0:34:33He was yellow. A breath of wind could have blown him away.
0:34:33 > 0:34:37When we got into the hospital, I just felt like crying.
0:34:37 > 0:34:42They said, "It's a bit more than 50-50, but it varies."
0:34:42 > 0:34:44I decided,
0:34:44 > 0:34:47I've got to do drawings because they might be the last things I ever do.
0:34:47 > 0:34:51So I started with the patient who was opposite me
0:34:51 > 0:34:54and then I drew the nurses.
0:34:54 > 0:35:00And it kept my mind off D-E-A-T-H.
0:35:00 > 0:35:03This doctor said, she said, "We've got a liver for him."
0:35:03 > 0:35:06And the doctor said, "Well, that's that."
0:35:06 > 0:35:08And I said, "It's not that's that.
0:35:08 > 0:35:11"This might be the last painting I ever do in my whole life,
0:35:11 > 0:35:13"so sit where you are."
0:35:13 > 0:35:15And she said, "I'm so glad you said that,
0:35:15 > 0:35:18"because that's going to be my claim to fame if you die."
0:35:21 > 0:35:23I kept thinking,
0:35:23 > 0:35:27"God, this might be the last time I ever see him,"
0:35:27 > 0:35:30and I kept trying to think, "What can I say?
0:35:30 > 0:35:32"What can I say that's big enough for this?"
0:35:32 > 0:35:35It was just the longest day.
0:35:35 > 0:35:36It was the longest day ever.
0:35:36 > 0:35:39We expected it to be about six hours,
0:35:39 > 0:35:41and I think it turned out to be about nine.
0:35:41 > 0:35:45While we were sitting in the waiting room, we were almost like just
0:35:45 > 0:35:48individuals in our own little worlds, just hoping that he'd do well.
0:35:48 > 0:35:52There was nothing we could say to each other to either
0:35:52 > 0:35:55comfort each other. It was beyond that.
0:35:55 > 0:35:57The new liver didn't kick in straight away.
0:35:57 > 0:36:00He started to bleed at that point.
0:36:00 > 0:36:04We just had to wait until the liver kicked in and we put in enough
0:36:04 > 0:36:06blood replacement factors for this to stop.
0:36:06 > 0:36:09He was quite a spectacular one in that respect.
0:36:09 > 0:36:11Doesn't happen very often.
0:36:11 > 0:36:14The doors of the operating theatre opened,
0:36:14 > 0:36:19and I could see the team wheeling him along on a trolley.
0:36:19 > 0:36:22But when I saw his face,
0:36:22 > 0:36:28there was just something about his face that I thought looked healthier
0:36:28 > 0:36:31and gave me a good feeling.
0:36:31 > 0:36:34When we saw his scar, it was like someone had sawn him in half.
0:36:34 > 0:36:37That was, I suppose, the biggest hurdle over.
0:36:37 > 0:36:38At least he'd got his chance.
0:36:38 > 0:36:42And in the morning, I wakened up with a start, thinking,
0:36:42 > 0:36:43"It's about eight o'clock."
0:36:43 > 0:36:48I'd been so exhausted that I'd slept on, and I jumped out of bed
0:36:48 > 0:36:51and ran along the corridor because I thought,
0:36:51 > 0:36:54"I should have been with John. What if something's happened?"
0:36:54 > 0:36:58I was petrified to go into the intensive care unit.
0:36:58 > 0:37:01They said, "Oh, yes, he's started to come round.
0:37:01 > 0:37:03"He's been asking for paper and pencil."
0:37:05 > 0:37:06Ohh!
0:37:07 > 0:37:10So the doctor came across with a bit of paper,
0:37:10 > 0:37:13and I was able to draw her.
0:37:13 > 0:37:18And he'd written, with scrawly, spidery handwriting,
0:37:18 > 0:37:20"I will get better."
0:37:21 > 0:37:24And he did.
0:37:24 > 0:37:28That was me on the mend. I knew I was OK if I could draw.
0:37:28 > 0:37:31# Wait, I see that I can draw
0:37:31 > 0:37:34# Then I know I'm alive... #
0:37:34 > 0:37:37I got a bit of an infection.
0:37:37 > 0:37:39I lost even more weight.
0:37:39 > 0:37:41I was down to seven stone
0:37:41 > 0:37:46and they were worried about me going to fade away.
0:37:47 > 0:37:50There was one night, it was about three o'clock in the morning,
0:37:50 > 0:37:52I think, and I was in agony.
0:37:52 > 0:37:54It was just unbearable pain.
0:37:54 > 0:37:59It was, "Do I struggle and do I keep this will to live or do I just
0:37:59 > 0:38:02"close my eyes and that'll be that?"
0:38:02 > 0:38:03I did a self-portrait.
0:38:03 > 0:38:09It just flew off the end of the pencil. It was just drawing itself.
0:38:09 > 0:38:13It was me in absolute agony, as bad as it can get.
0:38:13 > 0:38:18I signed it and then I lay back and I was absolutely
0:38:18 > 0:38:21drained of any energy whatsoever.
0:38:22 > 0:38:26That's the Conte drawing that's now in the National Gallery of Scotland.
0:38:26 > 0:38:28It's the best drawing I've ever done in my life.
0:38:28 > 0:38:32Every day I'd go in, he'd have done another few watercolours.
0:38:32 > 0:38:34I felt so proud of that room.
0:38:34 > 0:38:37This is my dad recovering from the transplant,
0:38:37 > 0:38:39and look what he's done already.
0:38:39 > 0:38:43John has to paint and draw.
0:38:43 > 0:38:45It's just an inner need.
0:38:45 > 0:38:47It's like breathing.
0:38:47 > 0:38:50He didn't need any painkillers because he was so,
0:38:50 > 0:38:53so intense with his painting
0:38:53 > 0:38:56that it completely numbed, I think,
0:38:56 > 0:38:59all the pain he must have been experiencing.
0:38:59 > 0:39:03I've never been involved with a painter of his calibre
0:39:03 > 0:39:08who felt that, despite the fact that he was extremely ill,
0:39:08 > 0:39:13that he still must use his talents to express himself.
0:39:13 > 0:39:16I suspect that's unique, but if it's not unique,
0:39:16 > 0:39:20it's very, very unusual and very, very courageous.
0:39:20 > 0:39:23It helped to deal with the pain because I was concentrating so hard,
0:39:23 > 0:39:27cos if good painting's about anything, it's about intensity.
0:39:27 > 0:39:32And he did 60 paintings showing what it was like
0:39:32 > 0:39:35to have a liver transplant, which is a pretty formidable operation.
0:39:35 > 0:39:39Nobody will ever be able to describe liver transplantation
0:39:39 > 0:39:40better than those 60 paintings.
0:39:40 > 0:39:44When you're actually going through it, it's sheer hell.
0:39:55 > 0:39:59Birds were coming up and pecking on the window,
0:39:59 > 0:40:01little chaffinches and everything.
0:40:01 > 0:40:05I've never been so in love with nature as when I first came out.
0:40:05 > 0:40:09And then the first painting I did was a big painting.
0:40:09 > 0:40:12I said, "I'm going to start off as I mean to continue."
0:40:12 > 0:40:14And it was a big painting of flowers,
0:40:14 > 0:40:17which now hangs in Jesus College in Cambridge.
0:40:19 > 0:40:23# When I met about daybreak a bonnie young lassie
0:40:23 > 0:40:27# Who asked me the road and the miles to Dundee
0:40:29 > 0:40:32# Says I, "My young lassie, I canna' weel tell ye
0:40:32 > 0:40:37# "The road and the distance I canna' weel gie..." #
0:40:45 > 0:40:49When me and Jon got involved in the right-wing music scene,
0:40:49 > 0:40:52that caused a big rift in the family,
0:40:52 > 0:40:56and we were kind of ostracised because of that and, you know,
0:40:56 > 0:41:01now we're back together, perhaps you wanted to say a few words about that.
0:41:01 > 0:41:03No, no, I'm not saying anything.
0:41:03 > 0:41:06No.
0:41:06 > 0:41:08Not a thing ever.
0:41:08 > 0:41:11My brother had gone to play drums with Skrewdriver
0:41:11 > 0:41:16in Cottbus, which at the time was a hotbed of right-wing activities.
0:41:16 > 0:41:20The night before the gig, there was a bit of trouble.
0:41:20 > 0:41:23We just got completely stranded and
0:41:23 > 0:41:26didn't know the first thing that was going on, really.
0:41:26 > 0:41:30Oh, it was just dreadful.
0:41:30 > 0:41:35A strange place away in the far side of East Germany.
0:41:35 > 0:41:38Quite ironic, really, to think that I'd worked in prison,
0:41:38 > 0:41:41and here I was visiting my own son in one.
0:41:41 > 0:41:44I had no idea they were coming.
0:41:44 > 0:41:47It was just heart-breaking.
0:41:47 > 0:41:50We were told that, if we paid a sum of money,
0:41:50 > 0:41:52the charges would be dropped.
0:41:52 > 0:41:54But I'm convinced he didn't do it
0:41:54 > 0:41:57and it's wrong in my view to pay the money, so we didn't.
0:41:57 > 0:41:59For the first time in my life,
0:41:59 > 0:42:02I could really think about what I was doing, where I was going,
0:42:02 > 0:42:04and I came to terms with so many things.
0:42:04 > 0:42:08The fact he was involved with such people,
0:42:08 > 0:42:14who held such obnoxious views, and that was a crime in my eyes.
0:42:14 > 0:42:17The tabloids had tagged us as the Bruise Brothers
0:42:17 > 0:42:19and various other names.
0:42:19 > 0:42:22And my mum and dad had given an interview to one
0:42:22 > 0:42:29of the broadsheets up in Scotland, where they had basically disowned us.
0:42:29 > 0:42:31And even though it was understandable,
0:42:31 > 0:42:33it was still hard to take
0:42:33 > 0:42:36when you read that your mum and dad didn't want to know you anymore.
0:42:36 > 0:42:40That was the lowest point, I think.
0:42:40 > 0:42:43JONATHAN: I can't say how big a moment that was.
0:42:43 > 0:42:47I could see that if we didn't get out, this was going to end badly,
0:42:47 > 0:42:49and we were getting involved in something
0:42:49 > 0:42:51that was spiralling out of control.
0:42:51 > 0:42:56But it's at times like that where you do really have to take a step back and look at your own life.
0:42:56 > 0:43:01But after that, I remember getting a letter from Jonathan,
0:43:01 > 0:43:03and he said that...
0:43:03 > 0:43:06I've still got the letter, and he said,
0:43:06 > 0:43:09"One day, Mum, I'll make you proud of me."
0:43:09 > 0:43:12And he has.
0:43:12 > 0:43:16When I look back now, it's like someone else's life.
0:43:16 > 0:43:19It just feels like it's a million years ago, it's so far away.
0:43:19 > 0:43:23And so distant from what the person I am now.
0:43:25 > 0:43:31Well, I think Anya felt quite at sea with all this going on.
0:43:31 > 0:43:36She'd got O-levels and a couple of A-levels and found herself
0:43:36 > 0:43:41at Liverpool University, where she studied history of art.
0:43:41 > 0:43:46When we were going to find out our results, I saw my name and I put my
0:43:46 > 0:43:50finger along it and I said, "God, it really is. I've got a first!"
0:43:50 > 0:43:52and I just couldn't believe it.
0:43:52 > 0:43:57I was so proud of her because she suffers from dyslexia
0:43:57 > 0:44:00and that was a huge hazard to get over.
0:44:00 > 0:44:05This was like a real occasion where I'd really made them feel proud.
0:44:24 > 0:44:27A letter came from the Prime Minister's office.
0:44:27 > 0:44:28He opened the letter and he went...
0:44:30 > 0:44:32.."For fuck's sake!"
0:44:34 > 0:44:37He said, "They've made me a CBE!"
0:44:37 > 0:44:41And I said, "Wow, let me see that.
0:44:41 > 0:44:45"Wow! Well, well." He said, "They're asking if I'll accept,"
0:44:45 > 0:44:47and I said, "Well, will you accept it?"
0:44:47 > 0:44:49"Of course I'll fucking accept it."
0:44:57 > 0:44:59He got the shock of his life.
0:44:59 > 0:45:03The bad boy of Scottish painting, he used to be,
0:45:03 > 0:45:06now hobnobbing with the great and the good.
0:45:14 > 0:45:18Paul was always drawing.
0:45:18 > 0:45:24He in particular had the talent and a need to draw continually,
0:45:24 > 0:45:26very similar to his father.
0:45:26 > 0:45:32He continued to do creative work while doing the most menial jobs,
0:45:32 > 0:45:36and taught himself.
0:45:36 > 0:45:39It was many years later that we were surprised
0:45:39 > 0:45:43to learn that he'd applied for a place at the National Film School.
0:45:43 > 0:45:46Which is one of the most prestigious
0:45:46 > 0:45:48film schools in the whole world.
0:45:48 > 0:45:54Finally, he was doing what he should have been doing many years before.
0:45:54 > 0:45:58He was given his degree by Sir Richard Attenborough.
0:45:58 > 0:46:00'Paul Bellany.'
0:46:00 > 0:46:02APPLAUSE
0:46:05 > 0:46:08'And since going to the film school,
0:46:08 > 0:46:10'I feel that I've grown a lot closer to my dad.'
0:46:10 > 0:46:14I'll often just pop down to see him in his studio.
0:46:14 > 0:46:18Even a ten-minute conversation, you come out filled with inspiration
0:46:18 > 0:46:21cos he's got so much knowledge, but it's not just the knowledge,
0:46:21 > 0:46:24it's the passion in which he imparts that knowledge.
0:46:27 > 0:46:29JONATHAN: It was a really special moment.
0:46:29 > 0:46:33The whole family came up to see him being awarded the honour
0:46:33 > 0:46:36of being the first ever Freeman of East Lothian.
0:46:38 > 0:46:42We started off going to the John Bellany Centre.
0:46:45 > 0:46:47SHE SINGS
0:46:47 > 0:46:51And as we were leaving, they started up an old song
0:46:51 > 0:46:55which was very Scottish and very Port Seton.
0:46:55 > 0:46:59"Weel may the boatie row, the boatie rows fu' weel."
0:46:59 > 0:47:03THEY SING
0:47:08 > 0:47:11Oh, that was just so touching.
0:47:13 > 0:47:19Being surrounded by own family, that was a great heart-lifter.
0:47:19 > 0:47:23The Provost and Councillors unanimously resolve that
0:47:23 > 0:47:30John Bellany CBE, RA, be admitted as an Honorary Freeman of East Lothian.
0:47:30 > 0:47:32Of course, I'm entitled to several things.
0:47:32 > 0:47:36You have rights to graze geese on Musselburgh Links.
0:47:36 > 0:47:39The image of you walking with a gaggle of geese
0:47:39 > 0:47:41doesn't bear thinking about.
0:47:41 > 0:47:43There's a painting there somewhere.
0:47:43 > 0:47:49His affinity with Port Seton and Eyemouth in particular,
0:47:49 > 0:47:52it resonates all throughout his work, throughout his life,
0:47:52 > 0:47:54and still to this day.
0:47:54 > 0:47:57They are special places, and it's a great occasion
0:47:57 > 0:47:59when you visit Eyemouth or Port Seton with him.
0:47:59 > 0:48:02You walk along the harbour, you can see just what it does to him.
0:48:02 > 0:48:03He's invigorated by it.
0:48:10 > 0:48:13Things in the family had really improved
0:48:13 > 0:48:15and life was really quite calm,
0:48:15 > 0:48:20and then a storm came out of nowhere, and I remember being with my father
0:48:20 > 0:48:22and we were on our way to exhibition in Glasgow.
0:48:22 > 0:48:25I looked round and boom, he was on the floor.
0:48:25 > 0:48:26I thought that he was a goner.
0:48:26 > 0:48:31I just felt myself going, and I said, "I think I'm going to faint."
0:48:31 > 0:48:34I remember just standing there, my eyes closed,
0:48:34 > 0:48:36just saying, "Please God."
0:48:36 > 0:48:40I remember taking this photograph of my mum looking at my dad,
0:48:40 > 0:48:44and it's probably one of the most precious photographs I've ever taken,
0:48:44 > 0:48:49because it was just a picture of joy and love that he'd survived
0:48:49 > 0:48:51against all the odds.
0:48:51 > 0:48:52He'd done it again.
0:48:52 > 0:48:56It was just unbelievable.
0:48:56 > 0:48:59I'll never forget Glasgow as long as I live,
0:48:59 > 0:49:03because that was a very, very close call.
0:49:03 > 0:49:05You can imagine how
0:49:05 > 0:49:10endlessly thankful I am to these people who work in hospitals.
0:49:10 > 0:49:14Ambulance men, nurses, doctors,
0:49:14 > 0:49:17they are just a race apart.
0:49:17 > 0:49:1920 years ago, to all intents and purposes,
0:49:19 > 0:49:22he probably should have died because of the state he was in.
0:49:22 > 0:49:26And of course, it's partly down to his inner strength,
0:49:26 > 0:49:28not just because he wanted to live,
0:49:28 > 0:49:30but because he wanted to live and paint.
0:49:30 > 0:49:34FOOTBALL MATCH ON TELEVISION
0:49:34 > 0:49:36Yes! 1-0!
0:49:36 > 0:49:40Come here, come here, quick. Quick, quick, quick.
0:49:40 > 0:49:43'Yeah, football has always been special when Scotland played,
0:49:43 > 0:49:47'you know, even as far back as the '78 World Cup.'
0:49:47 > 0:49:49We watched the games together.
0:49:49 > 0:49:52The house would get dolled up in tartan and Scotland flags
0:49:52 > 0:49:55and we'd all be dressed up for the occasion.
0:49:55 > 0:50:00It was literally five minutes' walk from my front door to Stamford Bridge.
0:50:00 > 0:50:03We'd have hot dogs. It was like, "We never have anything like that."
0:50:03 > 0:50:05He always made it a special day.
0:50:05 > 0:50:08We've been Chelsea fanatics ever since.
0:50:08 > 0:50:13I did a portrait of the Chelsea centre-half Micky Droy.
0:50:17 > 0:50:19Bastards!
0:50:19 > 0:50:20Bastards! Bastards!
0:50:20 > 0:50:25I took them to see Scotland versus England, one of the last matches
0:50:25 > 0:50:29of that great series of feuds between Scotland and England.
0:50:29 > 0:50:32And when we got to the Wembley Stadium,
0:50:32 > 0:50:36it was absolutely packed out with people.
0:50:36 > 0:50:38The steward lead us through some tunnels
0:50:38 > 0:50:42and we spotted the home dressing room and the away dressing room.
0:50:42 > 0:50:44And we came up and there we were.
0:50:44 > 0:50:48We walked into Wembley, came out of the tunnel
0:50:48 > 0:50:51and all the crowd was there. It was fantastic.
0:50:51 > 0:50:53And all the singing behind us.
0:50:53 > 0:50:57All the Scottish supporters were behind us, you see.
0:50:57 > 0:51:00And it was just so...
0:51:00 > 0:51:04It was one of the happiest moments of my whole life,
0:51:04 > 0:51:07with my two sons, one on each side.
0:51:27 > 0:51:30About ten years ago, my mum and dad bought a place in Tuscany.
0:51:30 > 0:51:34Within a very short space of time, they'd become a real part of
0:51:34 > 0:51:37the community and my father was awarded the Freedom of Barga,
0:51:37 > 0:51:40maybe three or four years after moving there.
0:52:08 > 0:52:13Everybody loved John because John loved these people.
0:52:13 > 0:52:15Probably, John found here an atmosphere
0:52:15 > 0:52:19much similar to the atmosphere of Port Seton, I think.
0:52:21 > 0:52:26A thing I love most is when I'm here, I get off the plane at Pisa
0:52:26 > 0:52:30and within ten minutes, all your cares
0:52:30 > 0:52:33float into the ether up above you.
0:52:33 > 0:52:36It's here that I think my deepest thoughts.
0:52:36 > 0:52:40You think about your own creativity in a much deeper way
0:52:40 > 0:52:43than you can if you're living in a city.
0:52:44 > 0:52:49He paints the most evocative street scenes of the little hill villages
0:52:49 > 0:52:51that are around us where we live in Italy.
0:53:16 > 0:53:20In the '60s when he was a student, minimalism was all the rage.
0:53:20 > 0:53:22He hung his figurative paintings
0:53:22 > 0:53:24outside the Royal Scottish Academy in Edinburgh.
0:53:24 > 0:53:28Now they fetch six-figure sums and hang in museums
0:53:28 > 0:53:31and galleries all over the world...
0:53:32 > 0:53:37..from Australia, to China, America and all over Europe.
0:53:49 > 0:53:52'I've stuck to my own vision.
0:53:52 > 0:53:57'I haven't followed all these fancy new tricks like invisibilism,
0:53:57 > 0:53:59'all these different new things.
0:53:59 > 0:54:03'I just find these things so negative for me.
0:54:03 > 0:54:06'So I have taken the bull by the horns
0:54:06 > 0:54:09'and worked totally against fashion.
0:54:09 > 0:54:13'And I paint from my very soul'
0:54:13 > 0:54:17and I want to move people, to get inside their hearts.
0:54:17 > 0:54:22I do believe that painting isn't a joyride about fancy colours
0:54:22 > 0:54:25and blobs and squiggles.
0:54:25 > 0:54:29And I think when the time comes for our reckoning, we will see
0:54:29 > 0:54:35who are the great artists and who are the not-so-great, shall we say.
0:54:35 > 0:54:38And I remember, for my mum's 60th birthday,
0:54:38 > 0:54:43him climbing up on the roof of the house to play the accordion
0:54:43 > 0:54:47and belt out a rendition of The Road And The Miles.
0:54:50 > 0:54:52It's unbelievable, but that's how he was
0:54:52 > 0:54:55and that's how he's been throughout our life.
0:54:58 > 0:55:01We have, I'm delighted to say, Paul Bellany.
0:55:01 > 0:55:02Paul, where are you?
0:55:02 > 0:55:06I was really proud to be representing my father at a recent event
0:55:06 > 0:55:10hosted by Alex Salmond, the First Minister of Scotland, celebrating Homecoming.
0:55:10 > 0:55:16The principle of family, friends, belonging, safety, nostalgia,
0:55:16 > 0:55:19back home to harbour, which is what Homecoming is all about.
0:55:19 > 0:55:23'In some ways, I feel that making this film has been a little bit
0:55:23 > 0:55:27'like a homecoming, and we've all been cut adrift in rough seas
0:55:27 > 0:55:30'and managed to somehow clamber back to harbour.'
0:55:32 > 0:55:35'And it's amazing where we've ended up.'
0:55:39 > 0:55:45'Our story is the story of two people who really love each other
0:55:45 > 0:55:49'and the hurt that goes with it when problems arise.'
0:55:51 > 0:55:55We've been lucky that we've been able to turn it all around, eh?
0:55:55 > 0:56:00And whatever life holds in front of us, really, we've had such a life.
0:56:05 > 0:56:08It's not material things that make you rich.
0:56:08 > 0:56:11It's things that, really, money can't buy.
0:56:11 > 0:56:15And the fates have been kind to us, really.
0:56:17 > 0:56:19It was hardly plain sailing, though, was it?
0:56:19 > 0:56:22Oof, no!
0:56:22 > 0:56:25And to go back and think over some of these times
0:56:25 > 0:56:27is incredibly painful.
0:56:29 > 0:56:32He's intent on giving his grandchildren
0:56:32 > 0:56:35the very best start in life possible.
0:56:38 > 0:56:42He's a great support to his children,
0:56:42 > 0:56:46who've worked hard to build up their lives from a difficult start.
0:56:50 > 0:56:56And he's just a wonderful person and I love him.
0:56:56 > 0:57:01# Oh, so merrily we'll sing
0:57:01 > 0:57:06# As the storm rattles round us
0:57:06 > 0:57:11# Join and bond us like a ring
0:57:11 > 0:57:16# And with pride roar out a chorus
0:57:16 > 0:57:21# Will you go, lassie, go
0:57:21 > 0:57:26# And we'll all go together
0:57:26 > 0:57:31# To pull wild mountain thyme
0:57:31 > 0:57:36# All around the blooming heather
0:57:36 > 0:57:42# Will you go, lassie, go
0:57:42 > 0:57:47# And we'll all go together
0:57:47 > 0:57:52# To pull wild mountain thyme
0:57:52 > 0:57:57# All around the blooming heather
0:57:57 > 0:58:02# Will you go, lassie, go
0:58:02 > 0:58:07# And we'll all go together
0:58:07 > 0:58:12# To pull wild mountain thyme
0:58:12 > 0:58:17# All around the blooming heather
0:58:17 > 0:58:22# Will you go, lassie, go
0:58:22 > 0:58:27# And we'll all go together
0:58:27 > 0:58:33# To pull wild mountain thyme
0:58:33 > 0:58:38# All around the blooming heather
0:58:38 > 0:58:43# Will you go, lassie, go
0:58:43 > 0:58:48# And we'll all go together... #
0:58:48 > 0:58:50Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd
0:58:50 > 0:58:53E-mail subtitling@bbc.co.uk