0:00:02 > 0:00:04This programme contains strong language
0:00:04 > 0:00:06I ain't liking this. I ain't feeling good.
0:00:06 > 0:00:10That's where all the shit started for me, know what I mean, like?
0:00:10 > 0:00:12That was the start of my fucked-up life.
0:00:12 > 0:00:16'Five years ago, me and four friends were filmed while we lived in care.'
0:00:16 > 0:00:20Me, Bradley and Brian - best mates.
0:00:27 > 0:00:31The care system's just a prison for even younger kids who can't go to youth prison.
0:00:33 > 0:00:35Let me go!
0:00:40 > 0:00:43'Since leaving, all of us have been mixed up in crime.'
0:00:54 > 0:00:56'I robbed a house.'
0:00:56 > 0:00:59I got caught with a 10-inch kitchen blade.
0:00:59 > 0:01:04'Everyone has been to jail apart from me and I want to find out why.'
0:01:04 > 0:01:06Just cannae get... get it round my mind
0:01:06 > 0:01:10how many of my mates have actually been inside there, sort of thing.
0:01:10 > 0:01:14'On the way, I'll come face-to-face with some hard truths...'
0:01:14 > 0:01:18What does it feel like to sit in this room with a happy family,
0:01:18 > 0:01:23knowing that this wasn't your background?
0:01:23 > 0:01:27'..and discover a frightening reality.'
0:01:29 > 0:01:33We often say, "If you get brought up in a war zone you become a warrior."
0:01:43 > 0:01:46Where?
0:01:46 > 0:01:49'My name is Bradley Noon. I'm now 18 years old.
0:01:50 > 0:01:53'I was born in a chaotic household.
0:01:53 > 0:01:56'At the age of five, I was taken into care.
0:01:56 > 0:01:59'From that moment on,
0:01:59 > 0:02:02'I was bounced between seven different foster placements.
0:02:02 > 0:02:04'I'm still not out of the thick of it.
0:02:04 > 0:02:08'I've already lost most of my family and my own baby along the way.'
0:02:12 > 0:02:15'When I was just 12 years old I was taken here -
0:02:15 > 0:02:19'a care home for troubled kids called Ballikinrain, near Stirling.'
0:02:21 > 0:02:24I just wish the place would blow up, kind of.
0:02:24 > 0:02:26- Who disnae? - With the staff in it.
0:02:26 > 0:02:29'During that time, me and four friends were filmed
0:02:29 > 0:02:32'over eight months for a BBC documentary.'
0:02:32 > 0:02:34It's like... I think youse are just filming a zoo, really,
0:02:34 > 0:02:37cos this is what this place is like.
0:02:37 > 0:02:38VOICES ON TV: Are you OK, Bradley?
0:02:38 > 0:02:41Aye, are you? Why are you taking me somewhere nice?
0:02:41 > 0:02:44'It's funny looking back on it now.
0:02:44 > 0:02:47'I remember the cameras following us everywhere as we tried
0:02:47 > 0:02:50'to make sense of why we had been removed from our parents.'
0:02:50 > 0:02:53I used to pick up chairs and toss them, and tables, smash them.
0:02:53 > 0:02:55My life was really hard for me at that time.
0:02:55 > 0:03:01And it was cos my ma', she was, em, like, a drug user.
0:03:01 > 0:03:03'After I was separated from my brother,
0:03:03 > 0:03:06'my only family contact was with my granddad.'
0:03:06 > 0:03:11That's me there. That's my wee brother there.
0:03:11 > 0:03:13That's my granda.
0:03:13 > 0:03:17'I think, basically, his father has sort of disappeared.'
0:03:17 > 0:03:18He disappeared off the scene.
0:03:18 > 0:03:22His brother's with foster carers, and his mum, you know...
0:03:24 > 0:03:27There's been no contact with his mum.
0:03:27 > 0:03:29'What's love then, Bradley?'
0:03:29 > 0:03:31Well, it's somebody...
0:03:31 > 0:03:34It's like when you trust somebody with your life and all that.
0:03:34 > 0:03:36I don't know, really.
0:03:36 > 0:03:38I'm too young to know all that, in't I?
0:03:40 > 0:03:43'But then one day, my dad came to rescue me.'
0:03:46 > 0:03:48- You all right?- Aye, how are you?
0:03:48 > 0:03:51- All right. Where'll I park?- What? - Where will I park?
0:03:51 > 0:03:53- I'll show you.- You'll show me?
0:03:53 > 0:03:54Ye cannae run faster than this, you know.
0:03:54 > 0:03:56HE LAUGHS
0:03:58 > 0:04:02'He took me back to Southampton, where I've lived ever since.'
0:04:04 > 0:04:07'Here we are with my half brother Jack.
0:04:07 > 0:04:11'This was the first day I came to stay with them.'
0:04:11 > 0:04:14Yeah, I remember being here.
0:04:14 > 0:04:16It's changed though, in't it, really?
0:04:16 > 0:04:18It looks a bit messier, doesn't it?
0:04:20 > 0:04:24'I was a lot younger back then, wasn't I, though? A lot smaller.'
0:04:27 > 0:04:30'Yeah, I was so excited about moving down to England.
0:04:30 > 0:04:34'It was just, wow, a completely different country and that, like.
0:04:34 > 0:04:36'It was just amazing. I was so excited.'
0:04:41 > 0:04:44So, yeah, them memories were pretty good. I enjoy them memories.
0:04:44 > 0:04:47They were good because I was actually having fun back then.
0:04:47 > 0:04:52'After a promising start, things soon turned bad between me and my father.
0:04:52 > 0:04:54'Went AWOL for a while,
0:04:54 > 0:04:56'started getting into so much trouble at school.'
0:04:56 > 0:05:02Bunking, like, swearing at teachers, fighting and all that,
0:05:02 > 0:05:06and I just... I think cos my mother died, that had a big impact
0:05:06 > 0:05:08on my life, like, basically.
0:05:08 > 0:05:11And my dad didn't really seem to understand that.
0:05:11 > 0:05:14'So, by the age of 15, I was living on the streets.'
0:05:14 > 0:05:17That's when I got all my criminal record.
0:05:17 > 0:05:21Em, I robbed a house, em...
0:05:21 > 0:05:25I got caught with a 10-inch kitchen blade.
0:05:25 > 0:05:29I've tried to hit police officers and all that.
0:05:29 > 0:05:31I've, like, been caught fighting.
0:05:31 > 0:05:34Got done for GBH.
0:05:34 > 0:05:36But that was drunken, that.
0:05:36 > 0:05:38All this was just when I was homeless.
0:05:38 > 0:05:42'I'm now unemployed but hoping to join the army
0:05:42 > 0:05:45'but getting myself together is not that easy.
0:05:45 > 0:05:49'I've heard it's been the same for all my care home pals since leaving Ballikinrain.
0:05:49 > 0:05:53'So I'm heading on a road trip to meet them all.
0:05:53 > 0:05:57'Before I do, there's time for one last breakfast with my girlfriend.'
0:05:57 > 0:05:59Ladies first.
0:06:00 > 0:06:04- It's only twelve days. You won't... - Yeah, but that will feel like a long time to me.
0:06:04 > 0:06:07'Lotte and I have been together for three years.'
0:06:07 > 0:06:08Oh, bless you!
0:06:08 > 0:06:11'Longer than anyone's been in my life.' You are sweet, in't you?
0:06:11 > 0:06:14'When I first met him, he was really down.'
0:06:14 > 0:06:17And obviously it weren't long since his mum died.
0:06:17 > 0:06:21And then at the same time he had problems with his dad.
0:06:21 > 0:06:26He used to drink to block it out and then he'd cry when he got drunk
0:06:26 > 0:06:29cos he'd, like, remember it all.
0:06:29 > 0:06:31But, em, yeah. I'm looking forward to it, though.
0:06:31 > 0:06:34I won't know what to do with myself, I'll be like, "Oh, no!"
0:06:34 > 0:06:36SHE LAUGHS
0:06:36 > 0:06:39I think it'll bring an awful lot of memories back.
0:06:39 > 0:06:42I mean, obviously a lot of bad, a lot of good as well.
0:06:42 > 0:06:44And that will bring stuff back to him
0:06:44 > 0:06:48and he might get upset, you know, at some points.
0:06:48 > 0:06:51But he's a really strong character.
0:06:51 > 0:06:53'It's the night before the big trip.
0:06:53 > 0:06:59'I've decided to keep a video diary of my thoughts and feelings as I go.'
0:06:59 > 0:07:01So I'll talk to youse tomorrow night.
0:07:05 > 0:07:08'So here I am, on my way to Scotland.
0:07:08 > 0:07:11'First stop is the place most boys of Ballikinrain have been
0:07:11 > 0:07:12'at least one time in their life -
0:07:12 > 0:07:16'a young offender's prison - Polmont, near Falkirk.'
0:07:16 > 0:07:20Just cannae get it round my mind how many of my mates
0:07:20 > 0:07:23have actually been inside there, sort of thing.
0:07:23 > 0:07:25'In fact, two of them are in here right now.'
0:07:25 > 0:07:29One of them's in there for two years for selling heroin on the street.
0:07:29 > 0:07:33'So that's quite a serious thing, like, so he got two years for that.
0:07:33 > 0:07:35'All my other pals have been in here as well.
0:07:35 > 0:07:38'I'm the only one who hasn't been in jail,
0:07:38 > 0:07:40'although it's been a close call for me.'
0:07:40 > 0:07:45When I was close to going to prison, but I didn't go to prison, that really...that was a scare for me.
0:07:46 > 0:07:49Your heart stops and all that, you feel sick, like.
0:07:49 > 0:07:53Tears start coming. Like, tears started coming to my eyes and all that, like.
0:07:53 > 0:07:55I just... I was really, really scared, not about what would
0:07:55 > 0:07:59happen to me, but more like, "What's going to happen to my life?"
0:08:00 > 0:08:02'It's an issue many kids similar to me have faced.
0:08:02 > 0:08:05'In fact, you're 13 times more likely to end up in here
0:08:05 > 0:08:08'if you've been in care.'
0:08:09 > 0:08:13'There should be someone that, like, wakes up and goes, "Wait, stop."
0:08:13 > 0:08:17' "This obviously isn't working. We need to stand back and take a new approach at this.' "
0:08:17 > 0:08:21'If you don't, you'll let all these hundreds of thousands of youths
0:08:21 > 0:08:23'through generations to come
0:08:23 > 0:08:26'go through the care system and end up, like, in prison and that.
0:08:26 > 0:08:29'This is why Britain's so broken today'
0:08:30 > 0:08:32'It's only going to get worse.'
0:08:32 > 0:08:35Give it another ten year, it'll be a lot worse.
0:08:36 > 0:08:37I promise you that now.
0:08:39 > 0:08:42'I'm now on my way to see my best friend at the time:
0:08:42 > 0:08:44'Paul, AKA The Quiet One.'
0:08:45 > 0:08:48How's, fucking...
0:08:48 > 0:08:49How's life?
0:08:49 > 0:08:51I know, how is life? I don't know. Ha ha!
0:08:51 > 0:08:52Fucking shite.
0:08:52 > 0:08:55Aye, it is shite compared to my...
0:08:55 > 0:08:58Considering all my pals are fucking in the jail.
0:09:10 > 0:09:15- This is where I come to get away fae the polis.- Get mad wi' it.
0:09:15 > 0:09:18Get mad wi' it, aye, and naebody bothers you round here.
0:09:20 > 0:09:23So it's a good place to come and sit and drink.
0:09:25 > 0:09:27I think if I keep going the way I'm are,
0:09:27 > 0:09:29I'll dae the same as my dad and die young.
0:09:31 > 0:09:35I've got to say, he's no' really doing that well.
0:09:35 > 0:09:37Sorry, Paul, mate, fucking sorry.
0:09:37 > 0:09:40Sorry? You don't need to fucking shake my hand.
0:09:40 > 0:09:43Mate, I agree with you, mate. I need to fucking get a job
0:09:43 > 0:09:46and fucking start settling doon with ma life, man.
0:09:46 > 0:09:50'My memories of Paul are a young, shy lad.
0:09:50 > 0:09:53'Someone who no-one had ever seen without his hoodie.'
0:09:53 > 0:09:57'Paul's in for emotional and physical neglect.'
0:09:57 > 0:10:03Basically, he wasn't getting fed properly, washed, things like that.
0:10:03 > 0:10:05Clothing - not up to scratch, you know.
0:10:07 > 0:10:11It's sad. He's just came... Had a hard time.
0:10:15 > 0:10:18'I remember the day when Paul became a teenager.'
0:10:18 > 0:10:22The hoops! Keano's gonnae get you.
0:10:22 > 0:10:25'It was one of his parents' rare visits,
0:10:25 > 0:10:28'but all I knew was his dad was messed up.'
0:10:28 > 0:10:31It's, eh, me and my drinking.
0:10:31 > 0:10:35I'll admit that. I put... I would've said that.
0:10:40 > 0:10:44'It also meant that Paul's brother, eight-year-old Chris,
0:10:44 > 0:10:49'was at Ballikinrain too, both boys in there for their own safety.'
0:10:58 > 0:11:02'Finally, I arrive. This is where Paul lives with his new family.'
0:11:02 > 0:11:06Nice, he's done well for a place. He's done well.
0:11:06 > 0:11:09Bit nervous. Don't know what I'm going to say to him.
0:11:09 > 0:11:11Suppose it's going to be the looking at the floor,
0:11:11 > 0:11:13"You all right?" Like, hand shake, init?
0:11:13 > 0:11:16'Not far from where he grew up,
0:11:16 > 0:11:18'he's been lucky to get into supported accommodation.
0:11:18 > 0:11:20'That's the in-between stage from living in a care home
0:11:20 > 0:11:22'to fending for himself.
0:11:22 > 0:11:26'But I've heard that Paul's just come out of prison
0:11:26 > 0:11:28'after a catalogue of petty crimes.
0:11:28 > 0:11:31'Maybe the quiet Paul I once knew IS long gone.'
0:11:31 > 0:11:34- You all right, man? - You all right, Paul?
0:11:34 > 0:11:36- Not bad. - It is Paul. Fucking hell!
0:11:36 > 0:11:39- How you doing then, mate? - Aye, no' bad, no' bad.
0:11:39 > 0:11:41Fucking hell, you got taller.
0:11:41 > 0:11:43Last time I seen you was... Fucking hell.
0:11:43 > 0:11:45- What age are you now, then?- 18.
0:11:45 > 0:11:4818? Fucking hell, taller than me.
0:11:49 > 0:11:52'First things first, time to check out his crib.'
0:11:53 > 0:11:56It's a bombsite but I will clean it.
0:11:56 > 0:11:58Oh, this is no' bad, mate, oh, my God.
0:11:58 > 0:12:00"Wow! No hoodie."
0:12:01 > 0:12:02Ah, it's nice, mate.
0:12:02 > 0:12:05No, it needs something up-to-date. I know that's no'...
0:12:05 > 0:12:08'Now to get down to the nitty gritty.'
0:12:08 > 0:12:11Are you happier now you're no' in Ballikinrain?
0:12:11 > 0:12:13Aye. See when I moved out...
0:12:13 > 0:12:15No, the funny thing is, see when I moved out,
0:12:15 > 0:12:18for some weird reason I wanted to go back.
0:12:18 > 0:12:21Feels good, but it's like that - when you're there you want out,
0:12:21 > 0:12:24when you're away you're like, "I want to go back."
0:12:24 > 0:12:26- Yeah.- I started going, "That place was actually good."
0:12:26 > 0:12:30It's what, it's what we've been in all our life, if you know what I mean.
0:12:30 > 0:12:33How many times have you been to court, like?
0:12:33 > 0:12:36Lost count. That court knows me well now.
0:12:36 > 0:12:41'It's depressing to hear my best mate thinks it's funny being in and out of court.'
0:12:41 > 0:12:43Did you get a suspended?
0:12:43 > 0:12:48No, I got it last December after I got out the jail, so...
0:12:48 > 0:12:53- Did you do your full stretch in jail or leave with a licence or...? - No, I left with a licence,
0:12:53 > 0:12:56and I committed the offence three days later.
0:12:56 > 0:12:58No shit. No shit!
0:12:58 > 0:12:59HE LAUGHS
0:12:59 > 0:13:01In prison he probably felt comfortable
0:13:01 > 0:13:05cos there was a set routine, day in and day out, for him to follow,
0:13:05 > 0:13:06you know what I mean?
0:13:06 > 0:13:09And there was rules and regulations set there.
0:13:09 > 0:13:11Like, I don't know, it's weird,
0:13:11 > 0:13:15but I think he maybe felt a bit at home there because, like,
0:13:15 > 0:13:19there was always someone there to tell him what to do, sort of thing,
0:13:19 > 0:13:21just like there was in secure units.
0:13:21 > 0:13:23That's shite.
0:13:23 > 0:13:24I'm shite at darts anyways, mate.
0:13:24 > 0:13:28I'd end up fucking... Don't know.
0:13:28 > 0:13:30'I don't know, it's just kind of like a pattern,
0:13:30 > 0:13:32'if you think about it, isn't it?
0:13:32 > 0:13:38'It's like secure unit, secure unit, prison.
0:13:38 > 0:13:40'So what did Ballikinrain have in place for him?'
0:13:40 > 0:13:42What sort of job do you want, like? Doing?
0:13:42 > 0:13:44Oh, I'm fucking trying to get a logging job the now.
0:13:44 > 0:13:45Oh, is it?
0:13:45 > 0:13:48Aye. That's what I'm trying for.
0:13:48 > 0:13:49That would be good.
0:13:49 > 0:13:52My social work's already found me one,
0:13:52 > 0:13:56so I need to just write a reference to them, send my CV to them,
0:13:56 > 0:13:57- and that's me - done.- Yeah.
0:13:57 > 0:13:59It is hard to get work at the moment, just like,
0:13:59 > 0:14:02just, like, trying to get a normal job, if you know what I mean.
0:14:02 > 0:14:06It's even harder, especially if you put in your reference, "Aye, just out of Polmont."
0:14:06 > 0:14:10- They're like that, "Aye, fucking right."- That must be hard.
0:14:10 > 0:14:14Eh, jail... It's a no' bad place, like.
0:14:14 > 0:14:18You get good banter if you're in with one of your pals
0:14:18 > 0:14:23or you get good banter if you're in with somebody sound as a co-pilot.
0:14:23 > 0:14:27So it's all right but in a bad respect, you're in there,
0:14:27 > 0:14:30dubbed up, getting told what to do
0:14:30 > 0:14:37and you're, like, fucking pure hating it, wanting to get out.
0:14:38 > 0:14:41'It's been five years since we hung out together
0:14:41 > 0:14:45'and Paul's keen to remind me just what Scottish seaside tastes like.'
0:15:00 > 0:15:02HE SPITS SAND
0:15:02 > 0:15:03Bet you cannae wait to get into the Army.
0:15:03 > 0:15:07I've passed my barb test and that, like. So I done that.
0:15:07 > 0:15:09I want to join the infantry.
0:15:09 > 0:15:12I cannae be fucked with all that, like, technical, like, shit.
0:15:12 > 0:15:14Just give me a gun, give me a gun.
0:15:14 > 0:15:16We'll hunt people down.
0:15:16 > 0:15:17LAUGHS
0:15:17 > 0:15:18Init?
0:15:22 > 0:15:24Wow!
0:15:24 > 0:15:26Fuck!
0:15:28 > 0:15:31'But beneath the bluster, I now know that there's a side to Paul
0:15:31 > 0:15:33'that he tries to block out.
0:15:33 > 0:15:37'Not long after his dad died, his mum ran away.
0:15:37 > 0:15:41'So the Social Work Department decided to split up the brothers.
0:15:41 > 0:15:45'Paul has seen little of his brother over the last four years.'
0:15:45 > 0:15:48I've no' really been thinking about it a lot
0:15:48 > 0:15:52and, like, when I do I'll just go out and get a drink, you know,
0:15:52 > 0:15:57and just forget about it, but it makes me worse if I go and do that.
0:15:58 > 0:16:01But, eh, it's no' really...
0:16:01 > 0:16:04If I don't think about it, it'll no' bother me.
0:16:07 > 0:16:12'The next pal I want to see is Ryan, AKA The Fire Cracker.'
0:16:26 > 0:16:30Just been keeping out of trouble and that, keeping myself to myself.
0:16:30 > 0:16:32THEY ALL TALK AT ONCE
0:16:42 > 0:16:46Born and bred, I'm still a ned...
0:16:47 > 0:16:49TECHNO MUSIC PLAYS
0:16:49 > 0:16:52INDISTINCT CHAT
0:16:57 > 0:16:59Ryan was always a hard guy to figure out.
0:16:59 > 0:17:01It was like he had two sides to him.
0:17:01 > 0:17:03I know, I just got the last draw...
0:17:04 > 0:17:07I'd rather be out with my pals, smoking joints,
0:17:07 > 0:17:11taking buckets, drinking Buckfast, know what I mean?
0:17:11 > 0:17:15That kind of life, cos that's my reality.
0:17:15 > 0:17:17One minute Ryan was this hard man.
0:17:17 > 0:17:20Nobody can keep control of me.
0:17:20 > 0:17:22The next he was the boy forever calling his mum.
0:17:22 > 0:17:25'You have to take the pain and that, that's what I say to myself.'
0:17:27 > 0:17:29Just take it in the heart.
0:17:29 > 0:17:33Unless you talk to your mam and you get to see your mam and that.
0:17:33 > 0:17:34That's what I say, like.
0:17:36 > 0:17:39A lot of it is rejection,
0:17:39 > 0:17:42where his dad had rejected him for years, eh?
0:17:42 > 0:17:44Fuck!
0:17:44 > 0:17:46'His dad's a drug addict.'
0:17:48 > 0:17:50- Fucking arsehole! - 'And Ryan loves his dad to death.'
0:17:53 > 0:17:56'I think that's the root of all his problems, is his dad.'
0:17:56 > 0:17:58I just think he was a troubled young lad.
0:18:01 > 0:18:04He used to get into a lot of trouble in there.
0:18:04 > 0:18:06- Fuck off you fucking... - No, I won't. You won't threaten me.
0:18:06 > 0:18:08Fuck off!
0:18:08 > 0:18:10We all did but he used to get into a lot of trouble.
0:18:11 > 0:18:14Yeah, he did used to get into quite a lot of trouble,
0:18:14 > 0:18:15trying to show off all the time, I think.
0:18:15 > 0:18:20'Now he's back living with his mum after a three-year prison stretch
0:18:20 > 0:18:23'for pleading guilty to attempted murder.'
0:18:23 > 0:18:25Sounds like a police knock, doesn't it?
0:18:32 > 0:18:34- Come in.- Are you all right?
0:18:34 > 0:18:36- You're a big boy.- How you doing?
0:18:36 > 0:18:38I'm fine.
0:18:39 > 0:18:41Oh, this way.
0:18:43 > 0:18:46How you doing, mate? Fucking hell, how you doing?
0:18:46 > 0:18:48Fine. What you've been up to?
0:18:48 > 0:18:50You look taller mate, aren't you?
0:18:50 > 0:18:53- Nice size of bed though. I've got a fucking wee single thing.- Have you?
0:18:53 > 0:18:56Yeah. It's fucking shit, mate.
0:18:56 > 0:18:58It is fucking nice, mate.
0:18:58 > 0:19:01Red, white and blue for a true blue!
0:19:01 > 0:19:06It's hard to believe Ryan has spent so much time in prison already.
0:19:06 > 0:19:10I want to speak to him away from cameras to find out what really happened.
0:19:10 > 0:19:14I asked him if he was scared and all that and he was like,
0:19:14 > 0:19:16"No, I wasn't scared of prison and all that," like.
0:19:18 > 0:19:20It's just... I couldn't get my head round that.
0:19:20 > 0:19:24I knew this boy when he was a small lad.
0:19:24 > 0:19:27He spent three years of his life in prison already.
0:19:28 > 0:19:31We were drinking one night and had valium and all that
0:19:31 > 0:19:34and we were drinking, it was drinking vodka from the Friday
0:19:34 > 0:19:37all the way to the Sunday, we were just drinking vodka,
0:19:37 > 0:19:41vodka and taking valium and that.
0:19:41 > 0:19:43And then, eh, we went out.
0:19:48 > 0:19:53No, aye, says stole my, my bird said he stole her phone
0:20:47 > 0:20:49To remind us of our shared past,
0:20:49 > 0:20:52Ryan is taking me to somewhere we used to go as a treat - Loch Lomond.
0:20:56 > 0:21:00When we were wee guys, man, I used to jump off there, eh?
0:21:00 > 0:21:02Can't believe we used to fucking jump off this place,
0:21:02 > 0:21:06fucking, when it was freezing, mate. Yeah, we were mad.
0:21:10 > 0:21:12That was the only decent times in Ballikinrain,
0:21:12 > 0:21:15- the lads were together creating our own laughs, know what I mean?- Aye.
0:21:18 > 0:21:21Like we used to all, like we might have like all had arguments
0:21:21 > 0:21:24and fights, but it was just cos we were all lads just locked up together, weren't it?
0:21:24 > 0:21:28We were all in the same position, same boat. If you know what I'm talking about.
0:21:28 > 0:21:31ECHOES OF SHOUTING AND SCREAMING
0:21:34 > 0:21:36So what are you talking about?!
0:21:36 > 0:21:39Stop shouting. You're going about like a couple of gang members.
0:21:39 > 0:21:42We used to do some mad stuff. Just laugh about it now, man.
0:21:43 > 0:21:46'But there are some memories far more serious.'
0:21:46 > 0:21:49Running down the stairs at the front door,
0:21:49 > 0:21:51mind we kicked the thingummies open and that at the door.
0:21:51 > 0:21:55We got the keys and that, the car keys, stole the money and that,
0:21:55 > 0:21:57and got caught.
0:21:57 > 0:21:59And they were booting the door and booted it open
0:21:59 > 0:22:03and Sean went in and tried to look for keys and he found money.
0:22:10 > 0:22:12< See what happens...
0:22:13 > 0:22:15< ..what, what is it?
0:22:15 > 0:22:16I wasnae wi' them.
0:22:16 > 0:22:20No, when I come back up and seen the two of them down the pitch, you were nae with them.
0:22:31 > 0:22:35Which is great, you've made a great choice
0:22:35 > 0:22:37because it was getting a bit... in too deep, eh?
0:22:37 > 0:22:39And I know you're not a bad boy.
0:22:42 > 0:22:44I know. Mental, eh?
0:22:44 > 0:22:46We used to do some crazy shit, man.
0:22:46 > 0:22:47Oh, fuck, yeah.
0:22:56 > 0:22:58Why didn't our care homes fix us
0:22:58 > 0:23:00before we got let out on the streets?
0:23:00 > 0:23:03And why have all of us had problems ever since we left?
0:23:05 > 0:23:09I'm taking the boys back to Ballikinrain to see
0:23:09 > 0:23:11if I can finally get some answers.
0:23:25 > 0:23:28I want to find out if it's places like Ballikinrain
0:23:28 > 0:23:31that have shaped our lives forever.
0:23:31 > 0:23:34Why have you got so many people from the care system
0:23:34 > 0:23:37offending and then reoffending
0:23:37 > 0:23:40and then reoffending and then end up in adult prison
0:23:40 > 0:23:41when they reach the age of 20?
0:23:43 > 0:23:45'There must be something going wrong in the care homes
0:23:45 > 0:23:48'to start all this off in the first place.'
0:24:03 > 0:24:05- Mind that.- Fucking hell!
0:24:07 > 0:24:10'Maybe we're all just numbers to the staff.'
0:24:10 > 0:24:15So this is it, boys. You used to really hate some of these people.
0:24:17 > 0:24:20The first thing I want to see is my old unit.
0:24:20 > 0:24:22This is the place where we lived, ate
0:24:22 > 0:24:24and caused mischief together for years.
0:24:29 > 0:24:30Look who it is.
0:24:30 > 0:24:33Are you all right? How's you doing?
0:24:33 > 0:24:37Giovanna and Sandra, our old jailers, have come back to greet us.
0:24:37 > 0:24:41Smartened up for seeing us again? Does it bring back memories?
0:24:41 > 0:24:43- Aye.- Aye, loads.
0:24:43 > 0:24:45Seeing youse are taller now, does it look wee-er?
0:24:45 > 0:24:47Aye, cos youse are midgets now!
0:24:50 > 0:24:51Do you want to see it?
0:24:51 > 0:24:53- Matey's broken a door again. - Do you want to see it?
0:24:53 > 0:24:55What's he done to my door?
0:24:55 > 0:24:57'I remember how I treated this room
0:24:57 > 0:25:00'and how I detested the feeling of being locked up.'
0:25:03 > 0:25:05The consequences will stay as they are.
0:25:05 > 0:25:07- All right, I fucking heard you, piss off.- No.
0:25:07 > 0:25:09Are they plastic windows still?
0:25:09 > 0:25:13Now they're putting laminated windows in.
0:25:13 > 0:25:16- youse gave me plastic ones.- I think that's still got it, has it not?
0:25:16 > 0:25:20- Bring back memories? - No, cos my bed was there.
0:25:20 > 0:25:24This was a great room. This is the biggest room, no.
0:25:24 > 0:25:26No, this wasn't the biggest.
0:25:26 > 0:25:29Pure weird cos everything's like apart
0:25:29 > 0:25:32and I used to break everything in this room, like,
0:25:32 > 0:25:35I didn't have anything because I just used to smash it.
0:25:35 > 0:25:38So it's weird seeing it intact!
0:25:38 > 0:25:40'I used to do the same.
0:25:40 > 0:25:44'It was our only way of kicking out against the authority who took us away from our parents.'
0:25:44 > 0:25:47Obey the house rule, OK.
0:25:47 > 0:25:48You better piss off, then.
0:25:50 > 0:25:52What about the behaviour?
0:25:52 > 0:25:57I was, it was vulgar. I remember, some of the moods I got myself in.
0:26:09 > 0:26:15It's mad being back here though. It's dead, well mad.
0:26:15 > 0:26:19Didn't think I'd ever come back. I always said to myself, that's it, I'm never coming back
0:26:19 > 0:26:21but I'm glad I have, if you know what I mean.
0:26:21 > 0:26:24There is quite a lot of fond memories, to be fair, quite a lot.
0:26:27 > 0:26:31'It was the first time I'd met boys with similar issues to me.'
0:26:34 > 0:26:37But Ryan still has to confront his past.
0:26:37 > 0:26:41I assume you're in there because of what's happened earlier on?
0:26:41 > 0:26:43Fuck off, you wee fanny. Fuck off!
0:26:48 > 0:26:51One of the things I remember, Ryan, is upstairs in your bedroom
0:26:51 > 0:26:54and you looked an awful angry young man at that time.
0:26:54 > 0:26:55Aye, definitely.
0:26:55 > 0:26:57No, fuck off, Chris.
0:26:57 > 0:26:58No, I'm sorry.
0:26:58 > 0:27:00Fucking give it a rest.
0:27:02 > 0:27:03Sorry, sorry about that.
0:27:03 > 0:27:05I think before I do it now.
0:27:05 > 0:27:07When I was in here I just didn't think before,
0:27:07 > 0:27:09I just done it and then thought after it.
0:27:09 > 0:27:13Was sitting like that like, oh no, but, aye, I've been thinking now.
0:27:13 > 0:27:16- Good and you'll get there. - Aye, definitely. Hopefully.
0:27:16 > 0:27:20Still in our old unit, Paul's ex-key worker
0:27:20 > 0:27:23wants to see if she can finally beat her ex-charge.
0:27:27 > 0:27:31Pot luck. Stay low. Still rubbish at pool!
0:27:33 > 0:27:36Nah, no chance. And how many years ago did your dad die?
0:27:36 > 0:27:38About two.
0:27:38 > 0:27:40Two. Your dad passed away because of his liver, didn't he?
0:27:40 > 0:27:43Aye, cos of his liver was failing on him.
0:27:43 > 0:27:48Do you ever worry about anything like that happening to you? Like what happened to your dad?
0:27:48 > 0:27:52Em, no' really. I did a wee bit but that's about it.
0:27:54 > 0:27:57Do you ever have days that you just drink constantly?
0:27:57 > 0:28:01I did when my mum left me, like, a lot of money, like two grand,
0:28:01 > 0:28:05I spent it all within two weeks, just everyday drinking.
0:28:05 > 0:28:07Honestly? What a waste of money!
0:28:07 > 0:28:09- Do you regret that now?- Aye.
0:28:12 > 0:28:14You want to meet a nice girl, have a family,
0:28:14 > 0:28:16settle down and start living your life,
0:28:16 > 0:28:20because you've wasted too much of it in the care system.
0:28:20 > 0:28:23- I know, six year.- You're a good boy.
0:28:23 > 0:28:25Six year in care, can't get worse.
0:28:25 > 0:28:31And then three month in Polmont and...
0:28:31 > 0:28:35Stop it now and get yourself sorted, screw the nut,
0:28:35 > 0:28:37screw the nut, that's it.
0:28:39 > 0:28:41Back in school after five years,
0:28:41 > 0:28:45Ryan is off to meet one of his favourite teachers.
0:28:45 > 0:28:52Oh, my goodness gracious me! Ryan! Wow!
0:28:52 > 0:28:55What a handsome young man you are. Tall.
0:28:55 > 0:28:56Wow!
0:28:56 > 0:29:01Before he started working with Carol, Ryan was unable to read.
0:29:01 > 0:29:04It's shite cos it's too hard and that, like,
0:29:04 > 0:29:06and I ken the num... and words.
0:29:06 > 0:29:10Like they annoy you and that, they're too hard.
0:29:10 > 0:29:13She persevered where many would have given up.
0:29:13 > 0:29:16I'm no' wanting to do it today, man.
0:29:16 > 0:29:18Tell me what ones have you done so far?
0:29:18 > 0:29:21She did, she helped me a lot, Carol, eh?
0:29:21 > 0:29:25When I was fine, I'd do my work and that, one to one,
0:29:25 > 0:29:29but if I was in a class and that, I was like a pure idiot.
0:29:29 > 0:29:33'I couldn't do the maths or the geography or something.
0:29:33 > 0:29:35'I'd, like, I would get angry.'
0:29:35 > 0:29:37I've had enough and I've done it.
0:29:37 > 0:29:39And all you need to do is to tell me...
0:29:39 > 0:29:41And I rip the work up and say aye,
0:29:41 > 0:29:44"Here's your fucking work back, I'm not wanting to do your work."
0:29:44 > 0:29:46And then I would just walk out the class and that.
0:29:49 > 0:29:52But he was always ready to pull a fast one.
0:29:52 > 0:29:55- Where's the toilet? - Are you needing to go to the toilet?
0:29:58 > 0:30:00Aye, I am.
0:30:00 > 0:30:01Uh-uh. Here.
0:30:06 > 0:30:10So you don't do anything, drugs or anything like that?
0:30:10 > 0:30:12No, I did do them before I went in and that,
0:30:12 > 0:30:15but now, see now, I just donnae think about them.
0:30:15 > 0:30:16Then I was right on to them, but
0:30:16 > 0:30:19now, see it's no' even worth it, Carol, it's a waste of money.
0:30:19 > 0:30:22I could have done with that money, man.
0:30:22 > 0:30:25- Oh, my goodness, you're so sensible! - If I'd saved it up.
0:30:25 > 0:30:27- You were away having a fag there. - No, I wasnae.
0:30:29 > 0:30:32'I'm absolutely lost for words.'
0:30:32 > 0:30:33Aye, it's mental.
0:30:33 > 0:30:36I'm just so proud of you, so proud of the work we've all done here,
0:30:36 > 0:30:38- to help you to get... - youse put a lot of effort in.
0:30:38 > 0:30:40I'll go and get some stuff for now.
0:30:40 > 0:30:42Go then.
0:30:42 > 0:30:46Another teacher to sort our problems was maths teacher John Fletcher.
0:30:46 > 0:30:48Can we have a wee look at the pond?
0:30:48 > 0:30:51I want to speak to him about how things fell apart
0:30:51 > 0:30:53once I left Ballikinrain.
0:30:53 > 0:30:55Well, in terms of, like, after-care set up,
0:30:55 > 0:30:57there was, like, virtually none.
0:30:57 > 0:31:01Like, me and my father, we had disagreements
0:31:01 > 0:31:03and we no longer live together, but that was...
0:31:03 > 0:31:08I think part of that was the fact there was no after-care, like.
0:31:08 > 0:31:10Cos me and him didn't really know each other well as people,
0:31:10 > 0:31:13so it was supposed just to be a little holiday and then
0:31:13 > 0:31:16all of a sudden the social worker parked me there permanently,
0:31:16 > 0:31:18no care set up afterwards.
0:31:18 > 0:31:23I think one of the reasons things break down when boys leave care when they're older...
0:31:23 > 0:31:24Ah-huh?
0:31:24 > 0:31:28..is you're right, there's not a continuation of the high level...
0:31:28 > 0:31:30They're suddenly left feeling abandoned.
0:31:30 > 0:31:34You'd have been going from here, with this very high level of support,
0:31:34 > 0:31:36which we reckoned you needed...
0:31:36 > 0:31:38to the level of support you're talking about,
0:31:38 > 0:31:40which is virtually nothing, right.
0:31:42 > 0:31:45I cannae see that, you know, we'd be pretty shocked at that.
0:31:45 > 0:31:48I think there should be some sort of after plan,
0:31:48 > 0:31:51where they sit down and look at the kid's past and what they're
0:31:51 > 0:31:54capable of and what they've been through, what they've seen,
0:31:54 > 0:31:57and maybe try and, like, confront them issues,
0:31:57 > 0:31:59but before you move them on
0:31:59 > 0:32:01cos it's just passing the issue on to, like, society.
0:32:01 > 0:32:04'Maybe if that had happened,
0:32:04 > 0:32:07'some of my friends' lives would have turned out better.'
0:32:07 > 0:32:10Out of the six boys that was filmed in the previous show,
0:32:10 > 0:32:14I think you've heard four of them have went in juvenile prison.
0:32:14 > 0:32:16Do you think there is anything youse could do more?
0:32:16 > 0:32:18- I think so.- Bring the numbers down?
0:32:18 > 0:32:22I think we could, aye, if we can get people into employment,
0:32:22 > 0:32:27if we can continue to offer the support from the people
0:32:27 > 0:32:31that you have got to know and respect,
0:32:31 > 0:32:35until everything is in place, we could reduce that down.
0:32:39 > 0:32:41As our day draws to an end,
0:32:41 > 0:32:45it's clear our time in care wasn't that bad after all.
0:32:45 > 0:32:48Ballikinrain, they helped me growin' up.
0:32:48 > 0:32:51They're only trying to help, they're only doing a job.
0:32:51 > 0:32:54They're only caring for you, looking out for you.
0:32:57 > 0:33:01Weird, man, it's like pure weird
0:33:01 > 0:33:03seeing the place again.
0:33:03 > 0:33:07Sitting going to yourself, "I'm no stuck here anymore, but I miss it."
0:33:10 > 0:33:14It was brilliant. I'm definitely 110% glad I've done it.
0:33:14 > 0:33:19If I didnae do it, I would have regretted it for a long time.
0:33:21 > 0:33:24I also realise that our time here wasn't the only reason
0:33:24 > 0:33:26all the other boys had been to jail.
0:33:26 > 0:33:30It was the fact that once we left, we had no support.
0:33:30 > 0:33:32They're doing right things
0:33:32 > 0:33:34and they're also not setting things up in place
0:33:34 > 0:33:36that should be set up in place prop...
0:33:36 > 0:33:40em, quite a lot of the time. And they do realise that.
0:33:40 > 0:33:41So now they realise that,
0:33:41 > 0:33:44hopefully they can start to confront the issue,
0:33:44 > 0:33:47which is what I'm hoping for out of all this.
0:33:47 > 0:33:48Out of all the filming and all that,
0:33:48 > 0:33:50it would be good to see a wee change, like,
0:33:50 > 0:33:53and know that we've helped do something.
0:34:07 > 0:34:10One of the Ballikinrain boys who is doing well,
0:34:10 > 0:34:13and someone I've yet to meet, is Paul's younger brother Kris.
0:34:14 > 0:34:18Four years ago, he was fostered by the Czarnecki family,
0:34:18 > 0:34:19a day Eddie remembers fondly.
0:34:21 > 0:34:24I pictured him as a little, just a little wild animal.
0:34:27 > 0:34:28He was telling all his mates there,
0:34:28 > 0:34:31"Oh, this could be where I'm going to stay,
0:34:31 > 0:34:34"they could be my new foster parents. Hopefully."
0:34:34 > 0:34:36But the transition from care home
0:34:36 > 0:34:39to the outside world hasn't been simple.
0:34:39 > 0:34:43The first time that I came here,
0:34:43 > 0:34:45when I went to school,
0:34:45 > 0:34:48I couldn't really handle just a normal school,
0:34:48 > 0:34:51and it took Brenda quite a long time.
0:34:52 > 0:34:56I even, I kept getting excluded and everything.
0:34:56 > 0:35:00Like before, I couldn't even survive a whole day in school.
0:35:00 > 0:35:02Right, you can make the drinks, Kris.
0:35:02 > 0:35:05It was a lot of work but we've persevered
0:35:05 > 0:35:09for four and half years and we've got Kris the way we want him now.
0:35:09 > 0:35:11And, hopefully, that will continue.
0:35:11 > 0:35:14'He really feels one of the family now.'
0:35:16 > 0:35:19I never knew Kris that much. He was removed from his parents
0:35:19 > 0:35:22when he was just eight years old.
0:35:22 > 0:35:25To me, he was just the wee brother of my best friend in care
0:35:25 > 0:35:28who, like Paul, refused to take his hat off.
0:35:33 > 0:35:36Bloody hell, Kris, you've got tall, haven't you, mate?
0:35:38 > 0:35:41Remember me at all? I'm Bradley.
0:35:41 > 0:35:43Em, I remember you a bit.
0:35:43 > 0:35:46Aye, wow, you made that? Bloody hell, that's brilliant, mate.
0:35:46 > 0:35:51There's a box I made for all my toy cars down there.
0:35:51 > 0:35:53You've got a nice room here, definitely.
0:35:53 > 0:35:57Do you prefer this room to the one at Ballikinrain?
0:35:57 > 0:36:00Aye, our roofs used to leak.
0:36:00 > 0:36:02Oh, God, aye. Actually, saying that - me, Paul
0:36:02 > 0:36:05and one of the other boys from Dumgoyne, Ryan,
0:36:05 > 0:36:08we went up to Ballikinrain on Wednesday, I think it was.
0:36:08 > 0:36:12Went to visit the staff and all that again. It was weird and all that.
0:36:12 > 0:36:17- They wanted me to go but I said no. - Would you, did you no feel it?- No.
0:36:17 > 0:36:21- Do you know why you didn't want to go?- I just didn't like the place.
0:36:21 > 0:36:23Aye, just bad times there? Aye.
0:36:25 > 0:36:27You can see some fish in it.
0:36:27 > 0:36:29Oh, aye!
0:36:33 > 0:36:36Wow, they're beautiful, in't they?
0:36:36 > 0:36:39Down on the ground's quails.
0:36:39 > 0:36:40Oh, is that a quail?
0:36:40 > 0:36:42'On one hand, Kris seems to have landed on his feet with
0:36:42 > 0:36:46'his new family but I can't feeling he's lost his brother on the way.'
0:36:46 > 0:36:50The bond that brothers have got is one of the strongest bonds
0:36:50 > 0:36:52you'll ever have with anyone in your whole life
0:36:52 > 0:36:57but maybe it is better in the long run that they both wait
0:36:57 > 0:36:59until they're sorted out to see each other.
0:36:59 > 0:37:04It was good cos you keep your head down and not got involved with the bad guys really, which is brilliant.
0:37:04 > 0:37:05I think it was cos he was so young.
0:37:05 > 0:37:08Having grown up in care herself,
0:37:08 > 0:37:13Brenda perhaps knows first hand why we are like we are.
0:37:13 > 0:37:16- Some of the kids you can sort and some kids you can't.- Aye.
0:37:16 > 0:37:19And that's one of them sitting over there, if you know what I mean.
0:37:19 > 0:37:20He's proof.
0:37:20 > 0:37:24It's good to actually see this working, do you know what I mean?
0:37:24 > 0:37:25Because it's brilliant,
0:37:25 > 0:37:29cos so many people that I knew in there went the other way.
0:37:29 > 0:37:32But could Brenda not have helped Kris's brother as well?
0:37:32 > 0:37:35And he's not a bad boy, Paul, he's not a bad boy.
0:37:35 > 0:37:38He actually does have a good heart, you know what I mean?
0:37:38 > 0:37:41That's what I'm saying. I think if he just got away from these people.
0:37:41 > 0:37:44Aye, he knows what he's doing, sort of thing,
0:37:44 > 0:37:46but it's just there's certain people
0:37:46 > 0:37:49he hung around with that was a bad influence on him, really.
0:37:49 > 0:37:54Not wanting to stop contact, both Kris's foster parents
0:37:54 > 0:37:58and Paul's carer try to keep the relationship alive.
0:37:58 > 0:38:00But it's a delicate balance.
0:38:10 > 0:38:12What have you been up to today?
0:38:12 > 0:38:13Oh, nothing much.
0:38:13 > 0:38:15You working yet? No, no. How?
0:38:15 > 0:38:18Just trying, just trying to stay out of trouble, man, no working yet.
0:38:18 > 0:38:21- Getting in with the wrong people, that's the problem.- Aye.
0:38:24 > 0:38:26Ah, yeah. And where's this again?
0:38:26 > 0:38:28Baby photos.
0:38:30 > 0:38:35I think I've no' saw him now for about six month maybe.
0:38:35 > 0:38:39Oh, yeah, that's all my stuff.
0:38:39 > 0:38:42He's excited every time he sees me.
0:38:42 > 0:38:45Sometimes I need to calm him down
0:38:45 > 0:38:48because he's that excited when he actually sees me.
0:38:50 > 0:38:52Aye, we're living different lives.
0:38:53 > 0:38:59# When the day's change So does my attitude
0:38:59 > 0:39:02# I'm messy at home
0:39:02 > 0:39:05# I eat a lot of junk food
0:39:06 > 0:39:08# When the nights change
0:39:08 > 0:39:11# So do my nightmares too
0:39:11 > 0:39:16# I dream reality is my dream
0:39:19 > 0:39:21# All along
0:39:21 > 0:39:24# All along... #
0:39:24 > 0:39:28If Paul was in the same situation as Kris and went into foster care,
0:39:28 > 0:39:30it would have been different.
0:39:30 > 0:39:33I don't think he would have turned out
0:39:33 > 0:39:34the way he is turning out.
0:39:38 > 0:39:40I asked him yesterday,
0:39:40 > 0:39:44I hope you don't turn out the same way as Paul your brother's done.
0:39:44 > 0:39:47And he knew exactly what I was talking about.
0:39:47 > 0:39:49He says "No, I couldn't do that."
0:39:58 > 0:40:03Paul's in so much trouble, Polmont and all the rest of it,
0:40:03 > 0:40:08so I'm just trying to keep Kris away from that type of lifestyle.
0:40:18 > 0:40:21I don't need anybody like that for me.
0:40:21 > 0:40:23I couldn't handle how to cope.
0:40:27 > 0:40:33It's just bad, no' seeing him like as much as I want,
0:40:33 > 0:40:36but in another sense, like, I know he's happy.
0:40:36 > 0:40:41I know he's in a good place, so if I know he's fine, I'll be fine.
0:40:55 > 0:40:59Back in Stirling, Ryan continues to do what he's always done.
0:41:00 > 0:41:03Out following the crowd, no matter where it takes him.
0:41:04 > 0:41:06Fucking Stirling!
0:41:13 > 0:41:14He doesn't have anything else to do,
0:41:14 > 0:41:19so he just goes and meets up with, like, his mates and that.
0:41:19 > 0:41:22It's just out of boredom, I think, that he goes out
0:41:22 > 0:41:26and meets up with his mates,
0:41:26 > 0:41:30and, like, I don't know... just starts drinking and that.
0:41:59 > 0:42:01Is it all right to send a letter?
0:42:01 > 0:42:04Wee guy with fucking...
0:42:04 > 0:42:08When you leave care, there should be something put in place
0:42:08 > 0:42:13to help you adapt to the outside world, to just normal things.
0:42:13 > 0:42:16You're not used to socialising with people,
0:42:16 > 0:42:20you're just used to socialising with similar people in similar situations.
0:42:20 > 0:42:23When I came out of care, after not living with my dad
0:42:23 > 0:42:26when I was on streets, I didn't try and sort myself out,
0:42:26 > 0:42:28I just thought, "Oh, something will happen,
0:42:28 > 0:42:33"someone will sort me out, I'll end up on my feet again somehow."
0:42:33 > 0:42:34Maryhill YMF!
0:42:34 > 0:42:37But, like, the year passed into two year, and then I was like,
0:42:37 > 0:42:40"Shit! I need to start sorting stuff out myself."
0:42:46 > 0:42:49So it seems the lack of help after leaving care
0:42:49 > 0:42:52is the single biggest reason for why my old friends have been in prison.
0:42:56 > 0:42:59I've come to meet one of Scotland's former top cops.
0:42:59 > 0:43:03A man who's helped put more than his fair share behind bars.
0:43:03 > 0:43:07- Pleasure to meet you, I'm Bradley. - Hi, Bradley, John. Good to meet you. - Good to meet you.
0:43:07 > 0:43:11John Carnocharn has spent a career dealing with gang crime in Glasgow,
0:43:11 > 0:43:14historically the murder capital of Europe.
0:43:19 > 0:43:22So, why do you think you're 13 times more likely
0:43:22 > 0:43:24to go into juvenile prison or prison
0:43:24 > 0:43:26if you've been through the care system?
0:43:26 > 0:43:28Why do you think that's happening?
0:43:28 > 0:43:34If being in care increases your risk of getting in trouble,
0:43:34 > 0:43:37then the first thing we need to do is fix it.
0:43:37 > 0:43:40And there's a recognition it needs to be fixed
0:43:40 > 0:43:41but we're no' very good at it.
0:43:41 > 0:43:43If just locking people up worked,
0:43:43 > 0:43:46America would be the safest place in the world.
0:43:46 > 0:43:48They lock up everybody. Three strikes and you're out.
0:43:48 > 0:43:52Well, it's not, because what we're talking about is behaviour.
0:43:52 > 0:43:55We're talking about changing behaviour if it's not right.
0:43:55 > 0:43:59Whether it's risky behaviour, whether it's anger...
0:43:59 > 0:44:02'After working in the Serious Crime Squad and CID,
0:44:02 > 0:44:06'John's developed a simple theory of why teens like us commit crimes.'
0:44:06 > 0:44:07If you're a young guy
0:44:07 > 0:44:12and you think that the only way you deal with things is with violence...
0:44:12 > 0:44:14You know, we often say, "If you get brought up in a war zone,
0:44:14 > 0:44:17"you become a warrior, because that's what you do."
0:44:17 > 0:44:19'I'm not too sure I believe that.
0:44:19 > 0:44:20'Surely it's the lack of help
0:44:20 > 0:44:24'after leaving the care system, that's the problem.
0:44:24 > 0:44:27'To help me understand, John wants to show me
0:44:27 > 0:44:30'research he's done into the background of a teenage murderer.'
0:44:30 > 0:44:32It's a wholly workless household.
0:44:32 > 0:44:35So nobody in that house works anywhere, does anything.
0:44:35 > 0:44:39So, when we speak about understanding and learning,
0:44:39 > 0:44:41they're the sort of things he's not learning
0:44:41 > 0:44:45and there's at least two partners who've been violent to his mum.
0:44:45 > 0:44:48His mum's an alcoholic, his uncles are all drinkers
0:44:48 > 0:44:51and, in fact, two of his uncles, two of those three...
0:44:51 > 0:44:54'God, this is almost the same childhood I had.
0:44:54 > 0:44:58'I remember my mum's boyfriend continually abusing her.'
0:44:58 > 0:45:01Yeah, he was absolutely horrible. He was a really horrible person.
0:45:01 > 0:45:04He used to beat her with a claw hammer and that,
0:45:04 > 0:45:07and throw cups at her face and all that, like.
0:45:07 > 0:45:10This was the age of, like, four and three and all that.
0:45:10 > 0:45:13Me and my little brother were seeing this
0:45:13 > 0:45:16and it made us grow up with a lot of anger and all that.
0:45:16 > 0:45:18Yeah, I can kind of relate to that.
0:45:22 > 0:45:24That was such a shock for me
0:45:24 > 0:45:26because I didn't actually think
0:45:26 > 0:45:29there was loads of kids similar to me.
0:45:29 > 0:45:32He starts getting involved in gang rivalry, he's a truant,
0:45:32 > 0:45:34he's outwith parental control.
0:45:34 > 0:45:37Theft, motor vehicles, road traffic offences.
0:45:37 > 0:45:40The family move again and he gets done with murder.
0:45:40 > 0:45:42And this is all before the age of 16?
0:45:42 > 0:45:45He's 15-and-a-half. The only time we started paying attention to him
0:45:45 > 0:45:47is when he started offending
0:45:47 > 0:45:51and then we fell down hard on him, then a hammer fell on him.
0:45:51 > 0:45:53And our point in this is,
0:45:53 > 0:45:56if we had done other stuff down here, maybe that wouldn't have happened.
0:45:56 > 0:46:00When we look at lots of the young guys who are in Polmont,
0:46:00 > 0:46:02they'll have similar stories to David.
0:46:02 > 0:46:05There'll be things that happened in their life.
0:46:05 > 0:46:08Maybe not all those things, maybe all those things and more,
0:46:08 > 0:46:10but there'll be similar things in there,
0:46:10 > 0:46:14so we're starting to recognise how important these early years are.
0:46:14 > 0:46:17In terms of him helping me realise that it's not just the care system,
0:46:17 > 0:46:19it's the underlying problems, yeah,
0:46:19 > 0:46:22he's brought that to the surface for me,
0:46:22 > 0:46:23because I was in the care system
0:46:23 > 0:46:27and that's the worst memory of my life, sort of thing.
0:46:27 > 0:46:31I was thinking that's the main problem, that is the only problem.
0:46:31 > 0:46:35But the way he was showing and explaining things, it did open my mind up.
0:46:35 > 0:46:38'So perhaps we were damaged before we even went into care.
0:46:38 > 0:46:41'And if so, why didn't I end up like my mates?
0:46:41 > 0:46:44He is quite inspiring, when you think of the idea
0:46:44 > 0:46:46that what he's gone through,
0:46:46 > 0:46:50when he...when he alluded to how close his story was to David's story.
0:46:53 > 0:46:56It's something must have happened in those early years
0:46:56 > 0:46:58that gave him those sort of skills
0:46:58 > 0:47:03that he didn't respond only with violence because he's seen violence.
0:47:03 > 0:47:05Violence against his mum and himself, change of partners,
0:47:05 > 0:47:10so I think that's...that's inspiring.
0:47:17 > 0:47:22To try and see if John is right, I'm heading to Sighthill in Glasgow.
0:47:26 > 0:47:27It was here I was brought up.
0:47:31 > 0:47:33'Before I was even in Ballikinrain,
0:47:33 > 0:47:36' was stealing food just to keep myself alive.'
0:47:42 > 0:47:44Stevie, I'm really uncomfortable, mate.
0:47:47 > 0:47:50Stevie, I'm really uncomfortable, mate. Like, I...
0:47:53 > 0:47:57No, I don't like it here. I don't like it.
0:47:59 > 0:48:02I ain't liking this. I ain't feeling good.
0:48:09 > 0:48:10That was awful.
0:48:15 > 0:48:18You know what I mean, that's where all the shit started for me, like.
0:48:18 > 0:48:21That was the start of my fucked-up life.
0:48:25 > 0:48:29I've never had a good time in my life there, you know what I mean?
0:48:29 > 0:48:30Never.
0:48:30 > 0:48:33It's fucking horrible in that place.
0:48:33 > 0:48:35Like, it just made them all sweaty
0:48:35 > 0:48:38and that just with nerves and everything, like.
0:48:39 > 0:48:41You wouldn't understand
0:48:41 > 0:48:44unless, like, you did live my life sort of thing,
0:48:44 > 0:48:48unless you did go through what I went through, sort of thing.
0:48:48 > 0:48:51From the person from the outside just looking in, they think, like,
0:48:51 > 0:48:54"Oh, that person's got problems." They don't understand
0:48:54 > 0:48:57what the fuck I went through or what loads of us have went through.
0:48:57 > 0:48:58They really fucking don't.
0:48:58 > 0:49:02They think, "Oh yeah, in care, his mum might have been a drug user."
0:49:02 > 0:49:04That's not even half the issues, man.
0:49:04 > 0:49:08'I think John is right about the whole warrior thing.
0:49:08 > 0:49:10'Growing up in this place had a huge impact on me.
0:49:10 > 0:49:14'Childhood? Forget it! I was just trying to survive.'
0:49:19 > 0:49:21But it's still hard to take on board
0:49:21 > 0:49:23everything that John Carnocharn has told me.
0:49:23 > 0:49:27'To try and find out more, I've come to Dundee.
0:49:27 > 0:49:31'Today one of the UK's top psychologists, Doctor Zeedyk,
0:49:31 > 0:49:34'is taking me to meet a young family and their baby.'
0:49:34 > 0:49:36- Michelle, this is Bradley. - Hi, I'm Michelle.
0:49:36 > 0:49:38Bradley, this is Michelle.
0:49:38 > 0:49:40Michelle and Ryan met four years ago.
0:49:40 > 0:49:44Soon to be married, they had their first child, Callin, ten weeks ago.
0:49:44 > 0:49:48I think he's hungry! It's only when he's hungry, you do this.
0:49:49 > 0:49:53He's like, "Give me food, give me food, give me food!"
0:49:53 > 0:49:54You're such a cheeky boy.
0:49:54 > 0:49:58Did you see what you just did there Michelle that's brilliant?
0:49:58 > 0:50:01- Do you know what you did?- To see if he is hungry?- More than that.
0:50:01 > 0:50:03You went, "When he gets hungry, he goes..."
0:50:03 > 0:50:07You're occupying the way he sees the world.
0:50:07 > 0:50:10- Yeah?- That's empathy.
0:50:10 > 0:50:13Suzanne has spent her last 25 years researching how adults
0:50:13 > 0:50:16could be affected by trauma in their childhood.
0:50:16 > 0:50:19You realise they're telling you things we often think are random.
0:50:19 > 0:50:23- So they're actually trying to communicate with you?- Yeah.- Oh, wow!
0:50:23 > 0:50:25'This family has its own issues.
0:50:25 > 0:50:27'Like me, Michelle was brought up in care,
0:50:27 > 0:50:30'which made her worried about what kind of mother she would be.'
0:50:30 > 0:50:34Yeah, he's grown a lot. Me and my twin sister and my brother,
0:50:34 > 0:50:38we were in care when we were younger as well and I never thought
0:50:38 > 0:50:40I'd come to the stage where I'd be a mum, and I always thought
0:50:40 > 0:50:43I'd never be a good mum because it's in my genes sort of thing.
0:50:43 > 0:50:49It's really scary to have gone through something like that and to have a wee child
0:50:49 > 0:50:53and he's all about you, he wants you to look after him,
0:50:53 > 0:50:55or she wants you to look after him,
0:50:55 > 0:50:57and it's a big responsibility to have.
0:50:57 > 0:50:59In the back of your head you think,
0:50:59 > 0:51:02"I never got that, so how can I give that to someone?"
0:51:02 > 0:51:04Look at Bradley, he'll grab it.
0:51:05 > 0:51:06Oh! Oh! What is that?
0:51:06 > 0:51:09It's great to see all this family working together,
0:51:09 > 0:51:13even better to be able to hold their beautiful baby.
0:51:13 > 0:51:17What does it feel like to sit in this room with a happy family,
0:51:17 > 0:51:22knowing that this wasn't your background?
0:51:22 > 0:51:25Like, I think that is pretty unfair.
0:51:25 > 0:51:28- Oh, OK.- It's situations that cause things, if you know what I mean.
0:51:28 > 0:51:31It's time to have a one-to-one with Suzanne
0:51:31 > 0:51:34to find out what affect my childhood has had on me.
0:51:34 > 0:51:38It sounds like your family had a lot of people in and out of it?
0:51:38 > 0:51:39Am I right about that?
0:51:39 > 0:51:41Yeah, it was a really tricky situation with them.
0:51:41 > 0:51:45Everyone was at each other's throat and all that, it was just chaotic.
0:51:45 > 0:51:48'As Suzanne digs deeper into my past,
0:51:48 > 0:51:53'it appears that having even one person can make all the difference.'
0:51:53 > 0:51:57Were you in touch with your granddad often when you were little?
0:51:57 > 0:52:00Yeah, he was the main influence in my life.
0:52:00 > 0:52:03He was, like, my pillar, sort of thing.
0:52:03 > 0:52:05I had more of a connection with my granddad
0:52:05 > 0:52:07than anyone else in my family.
0:52:07 > 0:52:09He was like my granddad and my father.
0:52:09 > 0:52:14One person. That's all it seems to take is one person.
0:52:15 > 0:52:18Wow, I didn't know any of that sort of...
0:52:21 > 0:52:24So, like, that's mad, I can't take it all in, it's like oh...
0:52:24 > 0:52:29It would be interesting to go back and ask your pals at Ballikinrain,
0:52:29 > 0:52:32if they had anybody stable in their life.
0:52:32 > 0:52:37And if I took a guess, I'll bet they didn't.
0:52:37 > 0:52:40But Ryan's mum did make him feel safe,
0:52:40 > 0:52:41so why did he end up in prison?
0:52:41 > 0:52:43I can't seem to get my head round it
0:52:43 > 0:52:45because I thought he had what he wanted.
0:52:45 > 0:52:50His mum, like, dotes on him and everything he wants, he gets.
0:52:50 > 0:52:53If he goes, "Mum, I need 20 quid today, right now",
0:52:53 > 0:52:56he'll get the 20 quid to go and do whatever he needs to do with it.
0:52:56 > 0:52:59If he goes, "Mum, I need new shoes", he'll get new shoes.
0:52:59 > 0:53:01Maybe one way to describe it
0:53:01 > 0:53:04is that Ryan's kind of stuck at some stage
0:53:04 > 0:53:08and he hasn't either got his needs met,
0:53:08 > 0:53:11or he hasn't learned how to do it himself.
0:53:14 > 0:53:17So you just described his mum doing everything for him.
0:53:17 > 0:53:21It's a lot to do with me and his dad splitting up.
0:53:21 > 0:53:23His dad abused me and Ryan saw this when he was a bairn.
0:53:25 > 0:53:30Maybe there are things that Ryan doesn't intuitively know
0:53:30 > 0:53:33how to do for himself and that gets frustrating,
0:53:33 > 0:53:36so he ends up being really aggressive.
0:53:39 > 0:53:42And we put people in prison who get really aggressive.
0:53:42 > 0:53:46But Ryan has developed his key expectations of the world
0:53:46 > 0:53:50and ways of managing it when he's, like, less than three.
0:53:50 > 0:53:52Fucking!
0:53:54 > 0:53:57As for my best friend at the time, I don't know what to think.
0:53:57 > 0:54:00It's like he's always been alone,
0:54:00 > 0:54:02emotionally left to fend for himself.
0:54:05 > 0:54:08Do you think they feel you're to blame?
0:54:08 > 0:54:10No, they ken I'm not to blame.
0:54:10 > 0:54:12They ken it's not our fault and it's not their fault
0:54:12 > 0:54:16and they ken themselves they're not to blame either.
0:54:16 > 0:54:17It's just the way things happened.
0:54:17 > 0:54:21I think maybe inside him, aye.
0:54:21 > 0:54:24Inside them, maybe.
0:54:24 > 0:54:28"You shouldn't have let this happen." Inside them.
0:54:28 > 0:54:31"You shouldn't have let this happen."
0:54:31 > 0:54:37Don't blame him, like, it's down to, like, a wee bit me,
0:54:37 > 0:54:42myself, obviously social work too doing it.
0:54:44 > 0:54:48But, no, definitely not blaming the parents, man.
0:54:51 > 0:54:54So what time youse leaving here, half six to get up there?
0:54:54 > 0:54:58Bradley describes some of his pals as not having a sense they matter.
0:54:58 > 0:55:03It is when we have confidence that we are loved that we know we matter.
0:55:06 > 0:55:10- Another way to describe it is love. - Yeah.
0:55:10 > 0:55:14You had enough love that felt safe
0:55:14 > 0:55:17to then take care of yourself
0:55:17 > 0:55:21when you were starting to get into danger.
0:55:21 > 0:55:24So what we are talking about is love
0:55:24 > 0:55:28and we often don't take love seriously.
0:55:28 > 0:55:32And if we could take love more gently and more seriously,
0:55:32 > 0:55:35we would solve a whole lot of these societal problems.
0:55:35 > 0:55:37The world would be a happier place to live.
0:55:37 > 0:55:42Until we, as adults, can look at what happened for us as babies,
0:55:42 > 0:55:46we can't give our babies what they need.
0:55:46 > 0:55:49You've got be able to deal with your own issues before you can help them.
0:55:54 > 0:55:56But knowing all this
0:55:56 > 0:56:00and being able to make sure I don't repeat it with my children is easier said than done.
0:56:04 > 0:56:07'We sadly lost Riley just before he was born.
0:56:07 > 0:56:11'I don't even know what kind of dad I would have made.'
0:56:11 > 0:56:14With Bradley, like, where he's felt he's never been loved,
0:56:14 > 0:56:18if he had a child of his own, I don't think it would be bad,
0:56:18 > 0:56:21I think he'd show that child so much love.
0:56:24 > 0:56:26because he grew up with no love,
0:56:26 > 0:56:29I don't think he'd show no love. I think he'd show more love
0:56:29 > 0:56:32because he'd want what he never had for that child.
0:56:44 > 0:56:46This journey's been far different
0:56:46 > 0:56:48from what I could ever have imagined.
0:56:48 > 0:56:52When I started, I thought the care system ruined all our lives.
0:56:54 > 0:56:56Can we fucking go, man?
0:56:59 > 0:57:04I now know that we were destroyed before we even went into care.
0:57:04 > 0:57:06Went through fucking absolute hell, man, in a particular place,
0:57:06 > 0:57:09like absolute fucking hell, like, you know what I mean?
0:57:09 > 0:57:12I would probably rather be in hell.
0:57:12 > 0:57:13Now I'm beginning to understand
0:57:13 > 0:57:16the significance of the things that I once blocked out.
0:57:16 > 0:57:19You don't think those tiny,
0:57:19 > 0:57:22tiny little things of your, like, past affect your future
0:57:22 > 0:57:25for the rest of your life, you really don't think that.
0:57:25 > 0:57:27And if we don't deal with it,
0:57:27 > 0:57:29our futures will be limited.
0:57:29 > 0:57:36I want to get into my own house obviously, get a job, probably.
0:57:39 > 0:57:47Try to no' get the jail, but I think...
0:57:48 > 0:57:50..because of all the charges I've got
0:57:50 > 0:57:53that's a big possibility, me going back.
0:57:55 > 0:58:00Cannae look into the future but hopefully it's good.
0:58:01 > 0:58:05Obviously I want to grow up and have weans and that,
0:58:05 > 0:58:08have a family and settle down.
0:58:09 > 0:58:16But I'm only 18 now, so I've still got my life ahead of me.
0:58:19 > 0:58:21Us care kids need to wake up.
0:58:21 > 0:58:27We might not be able to choose our parents or how we grew up,
0:58:27 > 0:58:31but we do have a chance to shape our adult life and I want more.
0:58:36 > 0:58:40Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd 2012