0:00:06 > 0:00:09If I was describing him to a police constable,
0:00:09 > 0:00:14I would say, "Tall, physically imposing, funny..."
0:00:14 > 0:00:17He shot my pigeon!
0:00:17 > 0:00:18Ah, easy, sir.
0:00:18 > 0:00:20"..big-hearted fellow."
0:00:20 > 0:00:23HE GIGGLES Splendid.
0:00:23 > 0:00:26I suppose the nose is the other distinguishing feature,
0:00:26 > 0:00:28but I wouldn't want to harp on that.
0:00:31 > 0:00:33Stephen's work ethic is extraordinary -
0:00:33 > 0:00:35the books, the plays, the films,
0:00:35 > 0:00:37you know, the television appearances,
0:00:37 > 0:00:40the adverts, the voice-overs... It goes on and on and on.
0:00:41 > 0:00:43I mean, he's everywhere, Stephen.
0:00:43 > 0:00:47You cannot live your life without Stephen Fry.
0:00:50 > 0:00:53He's respected because he can direct, he can write,
0:00:53 > 0:00:54he can act - he can do it all.
0:01:01 > 0:01:04The moments that always impact me the most,
0:01:04 > 0:01:06when he does it, is erm...
0:01:06 > 0:01:08are the moments that aren't scripted.
0:01:08 > 0:01:11I would like to spank the...
0:01:11 > 0:01:14LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:01:15 > 0:01:17..thank Spike Jonze.
0:01:17 > 0:01:20LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:01:20 > 0:01:24Oh, thank God it wasn't "I'd like to thank William Jones."
0:01:24 > 0:01:26Erm... LAUGHTER
0:01:26 > 0:01:29One of the pleasures of presenting the BAFTAs -
0:01:29 > 0:01:31and I never tire of this - is meeting heroes.
0:01:31 > 0:01:33I love meeting film stars.
0:01:33 > 0:01:36It's such a cheap thing to say but it's completely true.
0:01:36 > 0:01:40I mean, to share a stage with Dustin Hoffman and Martin Scorsese
0:01:40 > 0:01:42is a very exciting thing.
0:01:45 > 0:01:47- That's it.- Stephen!
0:01:47 > 0:01:49Can you stand here, please?
0:02:02 > 0:02:04MUSIC: He's So Fine by The Chiffons
0:02:04 > 0:02:06# Doo lang, doo lang, doo lang
0:02:06 > 0:02:07# Doo lang, doo lang
0:02:07 > 0:02:11- # He's so fine - Doo lang, doo lang, doo lang
0:02:11 > 0:02:14- # I wish he were mine - Doo lang, doo lang, doo lang... #
0:02:14 > 0:02:17I was born in North London in Hampstead,
0:02:17 > 0:02:20erm, about which I remember nothing.
0:02:20 > 0:02:22Then a few years in Buckinghamshire,
0:02:22 > 0:02:27but at the age of seven, my family moved to Norfolk.
0:02:27 > 0:02:31It was agony to be so remote.
0:02:31 > 0:02:34I envied all of the people that I was at school with who
0:02:34 > 0:02:37lived in cities and towns, because they could go to cinemas
0:02:37 > 0:02:40and milk bars and things like that.
0:02:42 > 0:02:45The name of Uppingham is synonymous with its school.
0:02:45 > 0:02:47It was founded in 1587
0:02:47 > 0:02:50and it's one of the country's leading public schools.
0:02:50 > 0:02:54It was there, at this school, at the age of about 14,
0:02:54 > 0:02:58that I discovered a real love of drama, and indeed comedy.
0:02:58 > 0:03:00There was a boy I...
0:03:00 > 0:03:03We wrote sketches together, and we even wrote to the BBC...
0:03:03 > 0:03:06asking if we could have employment as comedy writers,
0:03:06 > 0:03:08which was a bit cheeky,
0:03:08 > 0:03:10and, yeah, I played a witch in Macbeth
0:03:10 > 0:03:13and a few other notable parts. HE LAUGHS
0:03:13 > 0:03:15BELL CHIMES
0:03:15 > 0:03:17Eye of newt and toe of frog,
0:03:17 > 0:03:20wool of bat and tongue of dog.
0:03:20 > 0:03:25I thought that, you know, because of the eye of newt
0:03:25 > 0:03:29and all that sort of stuff that was in the cauldron of the witches,
0:03:29 > 0:03:32erm, I should go to the butchers
0:03:32 > 0:03:34and get a whole load of guts - a load of pig guts.
0:03:34 > 0:03:38I decorated myself in intestines of pig
0:03:38 > 0:03:42and put a whole load of others into the cauldron for us to pull out.
0:03:42 > 0:03:46Hubble, bubble, toil and trouble,
0:03:46 > 0:03:50fire burn and cauldron bubble!
0:03:50 > 0:03:53The first night, it was sort of OK.
0:03:53 > 0:03:56The second night, it really was beginning to pong quite appallingly.
0:03:56 > 0:03:59By the third night, they'd all been taken away from me,
0:03:59 > 0:04:02with severe frowns, and burnt,
0:04:02 > 0:04:06and I think, to this day, the theatre basically stinks of offal,
0:04:06 > 0:04:09and that was... That was unfortunate.
0:04:11 > 0:04:14I was a very, very badly behaved boy.
0:04:14 > 0:04:16Very badly behaved indeed.
0:04:16 > 0:04:19I think, almost unquestionably, I would now be
0:04:19 > 0:04:23diagnosed as having attention deficit hyperactivity disorder.
0:04:23 > 0:04:27I was, you know, incredibly disruptive. Incredibly loud.
0:04:27 > 0:04:29I couldn't concentrate. I couldn't settle.
0:04:29 > 0:04:31I was a bad influence on others.
0:04:31 > 0:04:33I was hyperactive.
0:04:33 > 0:04:36Erm, all the things you think of as ADHD.
0:04:36 > 0:04:39MUSIC: Theme from A Clockwork Orange by Wendy Carlos
0:04:41 > 0:04:43I was about 14, 15,
0:04:43 > 0:04:47and I got permission from my housemaster to go to London,
0:04:47 > 0:04:49stay the Saturday night and Sunday night -
0:04:49 > 0:04:52and Monday was the bank holiday - come back Monday evening.
0:04:52 > 0:04:54So it was three days off from school.
0:04:54 > 0:04:58I came back on the Thursday because I discovered cinema.
0:05:02 > 0:05:05There was Cabaret. There was A Clockwork Orange.
0:05:05 > 0:05:07In those days, you could sit in a cinema,
0:05:07 > 0:05:09having paid for a ticket, and just stay in the same cinema
0:05:09 > 0:05:11and watched the same film three or four times,
0:05:11 > 0:05:14and I did that, and it got me expelled, however.
0:05:14 > 0:05:17It was the straw that broke the camel's back,
0:05:17 > 0:05:20as far as the headmaster and the housemaster at school were concerned,
0:05:20 > 0:05:22and so I left.
0:05:22 > 0:05:25I mean, everything about me was that of the...
0:05:25 > 0:05:30the dropout, useless, arrogant teenager,
0:05:30 > 0:05:31cos it was, you know,
0:05:31 > 0:05:33"I've had it with education. I don't need it. Ugh."
0:05:35 > 0:05:38And things got very black and bleak.
0:05:38 > 0:05:40I stole a couple of credit cards
0:05:40 > 0:05:45and went pretty mad around lots of different counties,
0:05:45 > 0:05:49staying in hotels, buying clothes,
0:05:49 > 0:05:52eating and drinking and being absurd,
0:05:52 > 0:05:54and not knowing what I was going to do.
0:05:54 > 0:05:57I mean, I kind of knew, somehow, I must get caught,
0:05:57 > 0:06:01and indeed I did - in Swindon, of all unlikely places,
0:06:01 > 0:06:03in a hotel there called the Hotel Wiltshire.
0:06:03 > 0:06:06I went up to my room and there were two men inside the room,
0:06:06 > 0:06:08and they said, "Wiltshire CID."
0:06:08 > 0:06:11HE WHIMPERS Oh, dear. It all happened.
0:06:11 > 0:06:14I had ten months inside the prison,
0:06:14 > 0:06:17while the paperwork from seven different counties
0:06:17 > 0:06:21caught up on this paper trail of credit cards.
0:06:23 > 0:06:25Eventually, then, I appeared in front of the beak
0:06:25 > 0:06:29and was given two years' probation, which was very fortunate,
0:06:29 > 0:06:35erm, and I went back home, sober and unhappy with myself
0:06:35 > 0:06:39erm, erm, daring almost not to look at my parents in the eye.
0:06:39 > 0:06:41They were very kind but they said,
0:06:41 > 0:06:43"Look, there's nothing we can do any more. It's up to you."
0:06:43 > 0:06:47I said, "I understand that," and I went straight to Norwich,
0:06:47 > 0:06:49and by incredible coincidence,
0:06:49 > 0:06:52it was the second day of registration at Norwich City College.
0:06:52 > 0:06:57I said, "Listen, if you let me,
0:06:57 > 0:07:01"I will get A grades - A1s, with S levels -
0:07:01 > 0:07:04"and I will get a scholarship to Cambridge."
0:07:04 > 0:07:07MUSIC: Cathedral by Stefano Torossi & Claudio Gizzi
0:07:11 > 0:07:14Stephen Fry from Booton in Norfolk, reading English.
0:07:14 > 0:07:16The funny thing about a place like Cambridge is...
0:07:16 > 0:07:18is that there's a strong sense that
0:07:18 > 0:07:19you're in a place that is part of history,
0:07:19 > 0:07:22part of the cultural landscape of your country,
0:07:22 > 0:07:24and that you are not going to be worthy of it.
0:07:24 > 0:07:26This was Wittgenstein and Bertrand Russell,
0:07:26 > 0:07:28for goodness' sake - what are you doing here?
0:07:28 > 0:07:30It's not the most perfect meritocracy in the world
0:07:30 > 0:07:32and it certainly wasn't then.
0:07:32 > 0:07:35There was a far higher proportion of people from expensive public schools,
0:07:35 > 0:07:37but there were lots of people also not.
0:07:39 > 0:07:41There was a friend of mine who said
0:07:41 > 0:07:43he thought everyone was called Ashley, and he thought,
0:07:43 > 0:07:46"Well, it's a very unlikely name for public school people."
0:07:46 > 0:07:48Then he realised they were saying "actually".
0:07:48 > 0:07:51IN POSH ACCENT: "Oh, hi. Oh, actually, erm...
0:07:51 > 0:07:52"Actually, I've got a... Oh, yeah,
0:07:52 > 0:07:54"I've got a supervision, actually. Ya, go on.
0:07:54 > 0:07:57"Here, come round for some toast, actually."
0:07:57 > 0:07:58Erm, you know, it was that sort of...
0:07:58 > 0:08:01He just thought everyone was called Ashley. It's so funny.
0:08:01 > 0:08:03And then, of course, there are other people there,
0:08:03 > 0:08:06who just seem to be there because they went to Eton
0:08:06 > 0:08:07and are good at rowing,
0:08:07 > 0:08:09like Hugh Laurie, for example. No, I'm kidding.
0:08:09 > 0:08:11Erm...
0:08:12 > 0:08:17Rowing four, Hugh Laurie, one of the Etonians in the boat. He's 20.
0:08:17 > 0:08:22He came to Cambridge to row, to row boats in the water -
0:08:22 > 0:08:25something, you would think, only good for slaves and convicts,
0:08:25 > 0:08:28but apparently it's a pleasurable thing to do.
0:08:28 > 0:08:30Up and down. "Ugh, ugh." Why would you do that?
0:08:30 > 0:08:32I went to the university to row.
0:08:32 > 0:08:35That was my only plan.
0:08:35 > 0:08:37It was only because I got ill - I had glandular fever
0:08:37 > 0:08:40and I was not able to row in my first year,
0:08:40 > 0:08:43so I settled on the Footlights,
0:08:43 > 0:08:46and went into it, and had a... and just loved it.
0:08:46 > 0:08:48I had a terrific time.
0:08:48 > 0:08:49And Emma Thompson,
0:08:49 > 0:08:52who I believe went on to do...
0:08:52 > 0:08:54I don't know, I think she became...
0:08:54 > 0:08:56I'm not sure what she did.
0:08:56 > 0:08:58Emma had been in the Footlights in her first year.
0:08:58 > 0:09:01She said, "I'm going to take you over to meet someone.
0:09:01 > 0:09:03"I think you'll get on. He's the president."
0:09:03 > 0:09:04And this was Hugh.
0:09:04 > 0:09:08And we realised that we made each other laugh a lot.
0:09:08 > 0:09:10I mean, we laughed, erm...
0:09:10 > 0:09:12just dawn till dusk.
0:09:12 > 0:09:15I don't know, I'm not even sure if we stopped at dusk.
0:09:15 > 0:09:18We might even have gone on after dusk.
0:09:18 > 0:09:20And I'd describe it as falling in love.
0:09:20 > 0:09:24And it was an act of creative falling in love, comically falling in love.
0:09:24 > 0:09:28A genuine connection, instant, with a remarkable man.
0:09:28 > 0:09:30The tragedy of it is, he went to America,
0:09:30 > 0:09:33and got a job in a hospital as a porter or something,
0:09:33 > 0:09:36and now busks for a living. It's...
0:09:36 > 0:09:38It's such a pity because he is actually rather talented.
0:09:38 > 0:09:41He had a tremendous sort of gravity,
0:09:41 > 0:09:44even at the age of whatever he was, 20.
0:09:44 > 0:09:47He sort of seemed like a 60-year-old at the age of 20.
0:09:47 > 0:09:51He wore tweed and, I think, stiff collars, and smoked a pipe.
0:09:51 > 0:09:53I mean, ludicrously affected.
0:09:53 > 0:09:56MUSIC: Under Pressure by Queen and David Bowie
0:09:58 > 0:10:03We went up to Edinburgh and there was a new award for a comedy show
0:10:03 > 0:10:05in Edinburgh that year called the Perrier Award,
0:10:05 > 0:10:07and we won it - the first one, the inaugural one -
0:10:07 > 0:10:11and we thought, just, "Life doesn't get better."
0:10:11 > 0:10:14And then, there's someone who introduces himself -
0:10:14 > 0:10:18a legendary figure in BBC comedy called Dennis Main Wilson.
0:10:18 > 0:10:23He said, "I'd like to do your show on the BBC."
0:10:23 > 0:10:24So we're going, "What?"
0:10:24 > 0:10:27We were just incredibly lucky.
0:10:27 > 0:10:28Incredibly lucky.
0:10:35 > 0:10:38LAUGHTER
0:10:45 > 0:10:49Those sketches are quite unlike anything ever before or since,
0:10:49 > 0:10:51and in many ways, in some ways,
0:10:51 > 0:10:54it's the best thing they've ever done, I think, the Cellar Tapes.
0:10:54 > 0:10:55What's the word, I wonder,
0:10:55 > 0:10:58that Shakespeare decides to begin his sentence with here?
0:10:58 > 0:11:01- Erm, "time" is the first word.- Time.
0:11:01 > 0:11:02Yeah.
0:11:02 > 0:11:04Time.
0:11:05 > 0:11:06Yeah.
0:11:07 > 0:11:10And how does Shakespeare decide to spell it, Hugh?
0:11:14 > 0:11:15T-I-M-E.
0:11:15 > 0:11:16- T-I?- M.
0:11:16 > 0:11:18- M-E.- Yeah.
0:11:18 > 0:11:21And what sort of spelling of the word "time" is that?
0:11:25 > 0:11:27Well, it's the ordinary spelling.
0:11:27 > 0:11:31- It's the ordinary spelling, isn't it? It's the conventional spelling.- Oh.
0:11:31 > 0:11:34I know it must be sickening for people to hear it,
0:11:34 > 0:11:36who want to make a career in comedy, and think,
0:11:36 > 0:11:40"Well, it's just cos he went to private schools and Cambridge."
0:11:40 > 0:11:42And I don't know. Maybe it is. I...
0:11:42 > 0:11:43I can't think that's the only reason.
0:11:43 > 0:11:48It seemed odd if it is the only reason, and I apologise. I can't...
0:11:48 > 0:11:51I can't... I did my very best not ever to go to a public school
0:11:51 > 0:11:53by getting expelled from three of them,
0:11:53 > 0:11:57so I think I can in some way let myself off.
0:11:57 > 0:11:59The famous review that -
0:11:59 > 0:12:01probably one of the great Footlights reviews in history -
0:12:01 > 0:12:03the Cellar Tapes of 1981,
0:12:03 > 0:12:07was right in the middle of me producing Not The Nine O'Clock News,
0:12:07 > 0:12:10and Stephen sent me a sketch out of the blue.
0:12:10 > 0:12:11As a result of that,
0:12:11 > 0:12:12we got to know each other,
0:12:12 > 0:12:17and I got asked to be the script editor on a show called Alfresco,
0:12:17 > 0:12:18that had the cast to dream of -
0:12:18 > 0:12:20Stephen Fry, Hugh Laurie,
0:12:20 > 0:12:22Ben Elton, Emma Thompson,
0:12:22 > 0:12:24Siobhan Redmond and Robbie Coltrane.
0:12:24 > 0:12:27I mean, it is impossible to imagine a better comedy cast.
0:12:27 > 0:12:29Erm, excuse me, do you think I could have a sip?
0:12:29 > 0:12:31Who are you?
0:12:31 > 0:12:33Why are you crawling out of our television set?
0:12:33 > 0:12:37I'm part of a pilot programme from the first ever live cable channel.
0:12:37 > 0:12:39So what do you want to watch?
0:12:39 > 0:12:42Yes, what do you want to watch?
0:12:42 > 0:12:45Oh, erm, the wrestling.
0:12:45 > 0:12:46Wrestling? Right.
0:12:46 > 0:12:48- Oh.- Oh! Ah!
0:12:48 > 0:12:51And it was pretty much - I won't say a disaster -
0:12:51 > 0:12:53it was just a sort of damp nothing.
0:12:53 > 0:12:54Didn't really work.
0:12:54 > 0:12:56The main gate's here,
0:12:56 > 0:12:58- and the British quarters are here, right?- Uh-huh.
0:12:58 > 0:13:02So what's to stop us dressing up as grand pianos
0:13:02 > 0:13:04and just walking out through the main gate?
0:13:07 > 0:13:09Meet Bertie the piano.
0:13:09 > 0:13:11DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS
0:13:11 > 0:13:12Dickens?
0:13:12 > 0:13:16One, maybe two grand pianos, under cover of darkness,
0:13:16 > 0:13:20cross-country, might stand a chance, but 60, speaking English?
0:13:20 > 0:13:22Hell, Jerry would never swallow it.
0:13:22 > 0:13:28I was overwhelmed by the talent of Ben Elton and his fructiferous pen.
0:13:28 > 0:13:31Ben just...absolutely frightening.
0:13:31 > 0:13:33Stephen and I would come in with a, sort of,
0:13:33 > 0:13:36half a piece of paper and we'd mumble,
0:13:36 > 0:13:39and Ben would open a briefcase, and just,
0:13:39 > 0:13:41"This is what I did yesterday afternoon."
0:13:41 > 0:13:44And he'd written, sort of,
0:13:44 > 0:13:46I don't know, 100 pages of material.
0:13:46 > 0:13:48By the time we did the second series of Alfresco,
0:13:48 > 0:13:51Ben was writing, with Rik Mayall and Lise Mayer,
0:13:51 > 0:13:55the second series of The Young Ones, and I...
0:13:55 > 0:13:58We have an argument about this, Ben and I, all the time.
0:13:58 > 0:14:01I distinctly remember having the idea of...
0:14:01 > 0:14:04of the University Challenge episode,
0:14:04 > 0:14:08in which Emma and Ben and I, and Hugh, appeared.
0:14:08 > 0:14:11- Representing Footlights, we have Lord Monty...- Hello.
0:14:11 > 0:14:14..Lord Snot,
0:14:14 > 0:14:16Miss Money Sterling,
0:14:16 > 0:14:18- and Mr Kendal Mint Cake...- Hi.
0:14:18 > 0:14:21..and representing Scumbag, we have Mike...
0:14:21 > 0:14:23- Hello.- ..Prick...- What?
0:14:23 > 0:14:25..Vyvyan and Neil.
0:14:25 > 0:14:27Vegetable rights and peas.
0:14:27 > 0:14:29LAUGHTER
0:14:29 > 0:14:32But Ben remembers it as being his idea,
0:14:32 > 0:14:33so I'm sure he's right, really,
0:14:33 > 0:14:36but I do remember at least contributing to the idea,
0:14:36 > 0:14:38so that was fun, working with Rik and Ade
0:14:38 > 0:14:40and, you know, that whole bunch.
0:14:45 > 0:14:46I'd seen Blackadder I,
0:14:46 > 0:14:51which John Lloyd and Rowan had put together,
0:14:51 > 0:14:54with, of course, Richard Curtis and Rowan writing the script,
0:14:54 > 0:14:57and I'd really enjoyed it. You know, Peter Cook, who was one of my heroes
0:14:57 > 0:14:58and, of course, Brian Blessed.
0:14:58 > 0:15:01A toast to our triumph!
0:15:01 > 0:15:02- Our triumph!- Our triumph!
0:15:02 > 0:15:05Then, when I heard there was going to be this second one,
0:15:05 > 0:15:08I was really entranced.
0:15:08 > 0:15:10Do I look absolutely divine and regal, and yet,
0:15:10 > 0:15:13and at the same time, very pretty and rather accessible?
0:15:13 > 0:15:15LAUGHTER
0:15:15 > 0:15:18You are every jolly Jack Tar's dream, Majesty.
0:15:18 > 0:15:20I thought as much.
0:15:20 > 0:15:22And it just became magical, I think.
0:15:22 > 0:15:25I mean, I can say that, cos my part was small enough for me
0:15:25 > 0:15:27not to be arrogant in saying that.
0:15:27 > 0:15:29Hugh and I, we'd done Blackadder,
0:15:29 > 0:15:31and Richard, our agent, had said,
0:15:31 > 0:15:34go and see one of the comedy executives at the BBC at the time.
0:15:34 > 0:15:36"Go and see them, they're quite interested in
0:15:36 > 0:15:38"maybe you doing a series."
0:15:38 > 0:15:41And we thought, "Oh, what? Our day has gone.
0:15:41 > 0:15:42"It's the day... This is the day of,
0:15:42 > 0:15:44"you know, The Young Ones and Alexei Sayle."
0:15:44 > 0:15:47And rightly, of course, you know,
0:15:47 > 0:15:49and so we were all a bit kind of... HE GROANS
0:15:52 > 0:15:54Well, I suppose, again, the BBC were,
0:15:54 > 0:15:56they were just thinking, you know,
0:15:56 > 0:15:58"We could take a chance on these two.
0:15:58 > 0:16:01"They're probably not going to spend too much money."
0:16:01 > 0:16:04Which I don't think we did. We had a few... We used a few wigs.
0:16:04 > 0:16:06We ran through the wig store.
0:16:06 > 0:16:08Our wig budget was substantial.
0:16:08 > 0:16:11- LAUGHTER - The parallel quantities D3 and D7
0:16:11 > 0:16:13are inverted in the same direction,
0:16:13 > 0:16:18giving us a resultant modular quantity of 0.567359.
0:16:18 > 0:16:20Now, this should begin to give us some clues
0:16:20 > 0:16:22- as to whether...- I'm sorry.
0:16:22 > 0:16:24Brian, I'm sorry. LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:16:24 > 0:16:27What? What's happened?
0:16:27 > 0:16:28You said...
0:16:28 > 0:16:31You said 0.567359.
0:16:31 > 0:16:33Oh, no, I didn't, did I?
0:16:33 > 0:16:37- It should be 0.567395.- 395.
0:16:37 > 0:16:38I don't believe it.
0:16:38 > 0:16:40Oh, no!
0:16:40 > 0:16:42Oh-ho-ho-ho!
0:16:42 > 0:16:44I think Stephen would admit that he's not...
0:16:44 > 0:16:49He's not... He's more of a verbal performer than a physical one.
0:16:49 > 0:16:51I think he'd admit that.
0:16:51 > 0:16:54Although, the sketch he did in Fry And Laurie of Dancercises
0:16:54 > 0:16:56is one of the best things we ever did.
0:16:56 > 0:17:02Let's now pretend that I am a prominent quantity surveyor
0:17:02 > 0:17:05and Hugh is Geoffrey Cavendish, a client.
0:17:05 > 0:17:07You'll see that I'm able to work,
0:17:07 > 0:17:08and while I work,
0:17:08 > 0:17:12able to build in all kinds of strengthening and toning movements.
0:17:13 > 0:17:17There's nothing quite like what Stephen does in comedy -
0:17:17 > 0:17:20with Hugh, particularly. That partnership is very odd.
0:17:20 > 0:17:24They're sort of inventing a new form of conversation.
0:17:24 > 0:17:27It slightly reminds one of Pete and Dud, in a way.
0:17:27 > 0:17:28Morning, Geoffrey.
0:17:28 > 0:17:29Morning, Dennis.
0:17:29 > 0:17:33Do you have any quantities for me to survey this morning?
0:17:33 > 0:17:35Erm, yes, I have got one quantity
0:17:35 > 0:17:37I'd very much like you to survey, yes.
0:17:37 > 0:17:38This quantity here?
0:17:38 > 0:17:40That's the fellow.
0:17:40 > 0:17:42LAUGHTER
0:17:42 > 0:17:45All right, well, that's got that quantity surveyed.
0:17:45 > 0:17:47Peter Cook and Dudley Moore were, of course,
0:17:47 > 0:17:50sort of gods to us,
0:17:50 > 0:17:52and Morecambe and Wise, and the Two Ronnies and...
0:17:52 > 0:17:55We just grew up loving sketches.
0:17:55 > 0:17:58We did have this idea that going away...
0:17:58 > 0:18:00and lots of writers sort of try and do this,
0:18:00 > 0:18:04they sort of persuade themselves that they're too easily distracted.
0:18:04 > 0:18:06You know, and then, "We've got to go away.
0:18:06 > 0:18:07"We've got to isolate ourselves."
0:18:07 > 0:18:10We went to Crete. I don't know why. Cheap tickets or something.
0:18:10 > 0:18:12I don't know why we went to Crete.
0:18:12 > 0:18:14It was fantastic.
0:18:18 > 0:18:22And we tried to live the good life, and we would, erm...
0:18:22 > 0:18:24We would swim around the bay in the morning,
0:18:24 > 0:18:27and then write all day, and then play backgammon all night,
0:18:27 > 0:18:31and I amassed a fairly healthy lead.
0:18:31 > 0:18:33In fact, I think I'm right in saying that
0:18:33 > 0:18:36Stephen actually owes me £1.5 million.
0:18:36 > 0:18:39That's nearly as much as he earns from an episode of House,
0:18:39 > 0:18:42so that's, you know, it's quite important to him, that kind of thing.
0:18:42 > 0:18:45I got £1.5 million worth of satisfaction
0:18:45 > 0:18:48out of annoying him by beating him at backgammon.
0:18:50 > 0:18:53There's one moment in Fry and Laurie where...
0:18:53 > 0:18:56It's a Formula One sketch, which is making fun of the fact that
0:18:56 > 0:18:59a lot of Formula One drivers, Grand Prix drivers,
0:18:59 > 0:19:00are always moaning.
0:19:00 > 0:19:03Michael, you must be very thrilled with that result.
0:19:03 > 0:19:04Take us through the race.
0:19:04 > 0:19:09- IN AUSTRIAN ACCENT:- Yes, well, I was not very happy with the car,
0:19:09 > 0:19:10and we had a lot of problems,
0:19:10 > 0:19:13and the car was not so good, I think.
0:19:13 > 0:19:14Shut up!
0:19:14 > 0:19:18And you know, I just get more and more annoyed by this whingeing
0:19:18 > 0:19:22from Formula One, and so I end up going "baf" like that.
0:19:22 > 0:19:26You do a job that half of mankind would kill to be able to do,
0:19:26 > 0:19:29and you can have sex with the other half as often as you like.
0:19:29 > 0:19:32I just need to know if this makes you happy!
0:19:36 > 0:19:37We had a lot of problems...
0:19:37 > 0:19:41LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:19:41 > 0:19:45It really connected and you can see it. You can see it on-screen.
0:19:45 > 0:19:48Hugh takes it well, but oh, I feel awful.
0:19:48 > 0:19:50You could see me going...
0:19:50 > 0:19:54MUSIC: Gonna Fly Now (Rocky Theme) by Bill Conti
0:19:57 > 0:20:00And the next day, I came in early and went to the make-up chair
0:20:00 > 0:20:03and got them to do an enormous bruise...
0:20:03 > 0:20:06- And then I sort of... - HE MUMBLES
0:20:06 > 0:20:07It's fine. It's fine.
0:20:07 > 0:20:10And he's, "Oh, my God, are you OK? Are you OK?"
0:20:10 > 0:20:11No, no, it's fine.
0:20:11 > 0:20:13I told you, I'm doing just fine.
0:20:13 > 0:20:17Erm, which was very pleasing to do.
0:20:17 > 0:20:21It's very difficult to sit next to Baldrick, because he's so smelly.
0:20:21 > 0:20:24- This is Stephen Fry who plays General Melchett...- Thank you, Tony.
0:20:24 > 0:20:28..who is a complete, utter, vicious duffer.
0:20:28 > 0:20:30Oh, now you're just trying to be lovely.
0:20:30 > 0:20:33It's not true. It's not true. It's not true.
0:20:33 > 0:20:35OK, opening titles.
0:20:35 > 0:20:37Two, one...
0:20:37 > 0:20:41HE SHOUTS
0:20:41 > 0:20:45MUSIC: Theme from Blackadder by Howard Goodall
0:20:45 > 0:20:48And one of the terrible moments of Blackadder IV for me
0:20:48 > 0:20:50was the shooting of the title sequence.
0:20:50 > 0:20:51I don't know if you remember it
0:20:51 > 0:20:55but it takes place in a sort of parade ground, a square,
0:20:55 > 0:20:59which was shot in Colchester at the Royal Anglian Regiment's barracks.
0:20:59 > 0:21:01MARCHING BAND PLAYS
0:21:04 > 0:21:07Stephen and Tim McInnerny were supposed to take the salute of
0:21:07 > 0:21:10the soldiers marching past, and he was...
0:21:10 > 0:21:13And we were in a parade ground, and he just looked slightly,
0:21:13 > 0:21:15sort of, bare, unadorned,
0:21:15 > 0:21:17and I said, "Well, they're in jodhpurs.
0:21:17 > 0:21:20"Even if it's an infantry regiment, they could be on horseback.
0:21:20 > 0:21:22"Why don't we get a couple of horses?"
0:21:22 > 0:21:25And so they summoned up... They said, "How big are they?"
0:21:25 > 0:21:27"Well, Stephen, he is, he's big. He's a big fellow."
0:21:27 > 0:21:29So they had to get a big horse.
0:21:29 > 0:21:34MUSIC: Romeo And Juliet by Prokofiev
0:21:34 > 0:21:38Stephen's horse, I think was called something like...
0:21:38 > 0:21:41called something like Fury,
0:21:41 > 0:21:48and was just a fire-breathing monster of a thing.
0:21:48 > 0:21:52This huge, black creature, who just had this...
0:21:52 > 0:21:53"Anybody tries it..."
0:21:57 > 0:21:59HORSE WHINNIES
0:21:59 > 0:22:03And I'm on the horse, ready to take the salute,
0:22:03 > 0:22:06and suddenly, the band starts,
0:22:06 > 0:22:08and the horse goes "huh-huh-ha" like that.
0:22:08 > 0:22:11HORSE NEIGHS
0:22:11 > 0:22:15Absolutely vertical, I'm hanging on like this.
0:22:15 > 0:22:17Fury did not care for the band.
0:22:17 > 0:22:20Fury let his displeasure be known.
0:22:20 > 0:22:22HORSE WHINNIES
0:22:22 > 0:22:26The loudest noise, at this point, is not the horse neighing,
0:22:26 > 0:22:27it's not the band -
0:22:27 > 0:22:29it's Hugh screaming with laughter.
0:22:29 > 0:22:32I thought I was going to die from laughing.
0:22:32 > 0:22:35I can still make myself laugh thinking of it now,
0:22:35 > 0:22:37because I'm cruel, you see?
0:22:37 > 0:22:38I'm a very cruel person.
0:22:38 > 0:22:41I'm not proud of that but there we are.
0:22:41 > 0:22:42It's my nature.
0:22:42 > 0:22:44So we tried that three times. Each time, it happens,
0:22:44 > 0:22:47I managed to stay on, and then, in the end,
0:22:47 > 0:22:51a little sad, kind of, podium is erected,
0:22:51 > 0:22:53and we have to stand on it and do that,
0:22:53 > 0:22:55and the horses are retired.
0:22:55 > 0:22:57So it was a bit of a humiliation.
0:22:57 > 0:22:59MARCHING BAND PLAYS
0:22:59 > 0:23:03We had lunch in the mess, and all the officers, as it were -
0:23:03 > 0:23:08the people playing the officers, so Stephen, Hugh, Tim and Rowan -
0:23:08 > 0:23:10all sat at the table with the officers and had a lovely lunch,
0:23:10 > 0:23:13and Baldrick had a stool and some baked beans
0:23:13 > 0:23:16in an upside-down tin helmet to eat for lunch,
0:23:16 > 0:23:18cos he was only a squaddie. It was great.
0:23:18 > 0:23:22Are you looking forward to the big push?
0:23:22 > 0:23:24No, sir, I'm absolutely terrified.
0:23:24 > 0:23:26HE GIGGLES
0:23:26 > 0:23:29The healthy humour of the honest Tommy.
0:23:29 > 0:23:31Ha-ha! Don't worry, my boy.
0:23:31 > 0:23:35If you should falter, remember that Captain Darling and I are behind you.
0:23:35 > 0:23:39- About 35 miles behind you. - LAUGHTER
0:23:39 > 0:23:42Ben and Richard, the writers, didn't work in the rehearsal room.
0:23:42 > 0:23:46They provided the first draft, as it were, the draft for the read-through,
0:23:46 > 0:23:50with the story, and obviously, a lot of the dialogue and everything else,
0:23:50 > 0:23:56'but we kind of tended to try and, you know, always up the game a bit.
0:23:56 > 0:24:01'Stephen suited that thing that I was used to from radio
0:24:01 > 0:24:04'and Not The Nine O'Clock News, is that the script is...'
0:24:04 > 0:24:06is not, I'm afraid, treated like holy writ.
0:24:06 > 0:24:09It is the beginning of a thing.
0:24:09 > 0:24:11The good ones are left alone, and where they don't work,
0:24:11 > 0:24:14'we kick it around a lot. It's not a common thing to do in a sitcom.
0:24:14 > 0:24:17'It's much more like the way Monty Python work, for example.'
0:24:17 > 0:24:20- Ring top bell. - CHEERING
0:24:20 > 0:24:22You know, he took a risk, I suppose,
0:24:22 > 0:24:24because we could easily have fallen to pieces.
0:24:24 > 0:24:26We very nearly did at times.
0:24:26 > 0:24:29I mean, it just seemed like, well, we don't have a show now.
0:24:29 > 0:24:32We're recording it tomorrow.
0:24:32 > 0:24:34It doesn't... None of it makes any sense.
0:24:34 > 0:24:36Stephen's contribution -
0:24:36 > 0:24:39as with all of the cast, really,
0:24:39 > 0:24:42who are all writers, generally, as well as performers -
0:24:42 > 0:24:45is to come up with these fantastic gems.
0:24:45 > 0:24:48Notably, Tim McInnerny's character in the fourth series was
0:24:48 > 0:24:50originally called Captain Cartwright.
0:24:50 > 0:24:52Stephen said, "So, why don't you call him
0:24:52 > 0:24:54"something interesting, Richard, like Darling.
0:24:54 > 0:24:57Then you could say, "Hello, Darling." And everybody laughed,
0:24:57 > 0:24:59and Richard said, "Well, that's not a very good joke.
0:24:59 > 0:25:02"That would just be funny once and then it would never be funny again."
0:25:02 > 0:25:06And of course, it's one of the hallmarks of the fourth series.
0:25:06 > 0:25:08You know, "Come on, Darling, we're leaving."
0:25:08 > 0:25:12What the hell are you playing at, Darling?
0:25:12 > 0:25:15Whenever we lost our bearings, it was like...
0:25:15 > 0:25:17It was like finding a rope in the water.
0:25:17 > 0:25:19"Well, at least we've got the Darling joke."
0:25:19 > 0:25:21I know exactly what I'll say to her.
0:25:21 > 0:25:23- Darling...- Yes, sir?
0:25:23 > 0:25:25LAUGHTER What?
0:25:25 > 0:25:26Erm, I don't know, sir.
0:25:26 > 0:25:29- Well, don't butt in.- Sorry, sir. - LAUGHTER
0:25:29 > 0:25:31I want to make you happy, Darling.
0:25:31 > 0:25:34I want to build a nest for your ten tiny toes.
0:25:34 > 0:25:37I want to cover every inch of your gorgeous body in pepper
0:25:37 > 0:25:39and then sneeze all over you.
0:25:39 > 0:25:42Really, sir, I must protest!
0:25:42 > 0:25:44What is the matter with you, Darling?
0:25:44 > 0:25:47- Well, it's just all so sudden, sir. - LAUGHTER
0:25:47 > 0:25:50The kind of things we did in Blackadder,
0:25:50 > 0:25:52like where I play a general,
0:25:52 > 0:25:55is really like a schoolboy playing a teacher.
0:25:55 > 0:25:58It's because I was 28 or whatever when we did that Blackadder,
0:25:58 > 0:26:01which is not an age you'd expect to be a general,
0:26:01 > 0:26:04so there's something automatically funny about being younger
0:26:04 > 0:26:06than the age of the person you're portraying.
0:26:06 > 0:26:09MUSIC: Theme from Jeeves And Wooster
0:26:17 > 0:26:20Another moment where Hugh and I were allowed to stay together,
0:26:20 > 0:26:24or maybe people just didn't believe we could ever do anything apart,
0:26:24 > 0:26:27but we meet a man called Brian Eastman.
0:26:27 > 0:26:30He had obtained the rights and then told us
0:26:30 > 0:26:32about it before we saw the script.
0:26:32 > 0:26:34I'd been addicted to PG Wodehouse
0:26:34 > 0:26:36since I was ten years old. Absolutely addicted.
0:26:36 > 0:26:39I'd written to him when I was 14
0:26:39 > 0:26:41and had a letter back, which I still have.
0:26:41 > 0:26:44"To Stephen Fry, all the best, PG Wodehouse."
0:26:44 > 0:26:46Hugh also adored Wodehouse.
0:26:46 > 0:26:51We talked on the way to the meeting with Brian
0:26:51 > 0:26:53about whether or not we were going to say yes.
0:26:53 > 0:26:54But then we...
0:26:54 > 0:26:57Then we saw the first script, written by Clive Exton,
0:26:57 > 0:26:59and I can remember going,
0:26:59 > 0:27:01"Oh, my God, this guy is...
0:27:01 > 0:27:04"He really knows how to do this."
0:27:10 > 0:27:12I was sent by the agency, sir.
0:27:12 > 0:27:15I was given to understand that you required a valet.
0:27:17 > 0:27:18Very good, sir.
0:27:19 > 0:27:23And then Hugh really put the clinching argument.
0:27:23 > 0:27:26He said, "Well, yes, there is every possibility we'll ruin it,
0:27:26 > 0:27:30"but he's obviously set on doing this, so if we don't ruin it,
0:27:30 > 0:27:34"someone else is going to ruin it, and who would you rather ruin it?"
0:27:34 > 0:27:35"It should be us. You're right.
0:27:35 > 0:27:37"If anyone's going to ruin it, it should be us."
0:27:37 > 0:27:41I'm afraid I couldn't bring myself to place the bet on Mr Little, sir.
0:27:41 > 0:27:42What?
0:27:42 > 0:27:44Jeeves, I distinctly told you...
0:27:46 > 0:27:48Hmm...
0:27:48 > 0:27:50You mean, we didn't lose the 100?
0:27:50 > 0:27:51Indeed not, sir.
0:27:51 > 0:27:53I took it into my head to put
0:27:53 > 0:27:56what I believe is called in racing parlance "a bundle"
0:27:56 > 0:27:59on Charlie Bembo at 15-to-1.
0:27:59 > 0:28:02- HE SIGHS - Jeeves, you're a wonder.
0:28:03 > 0:28:05Thank you, sir.
0:28:08 > 0:28:12The Aston Martin that we drove - a 1928, I think it was -
0:28:12 > 0:28:15erm, the cocktail shakers, the glassware...
0:28:15 > 0:28:18Even though there's a camera in your eye-line,
0:28:18 > 0:28:19perhaps when you're doing that,
0:28:19 > 0:28:22just handling these beautiful objects,
0:28:22 > 0:28:24there's something just so marvellous.
0:28:24 > 0:28:26You feel for a second you are actually in the world,
0:28:26 > 0:28:28because everything in your eye-line -
0:28:28 > 0:28:30if you exclude the lamps and camera,
0:28:30 > 0:28:33and you just somehow very quickly do when you get used to these things -
0:28:33 > 0:28:36is of the world,
0:28:36 > 0:28:38and it's a beautiful world -
0:28:38 > 0:28:43an Art Deco world of beautiful objects and clothes.
0:28:43 > 0:28:45And it was a thrill to do.
0:28:45 > 0:28:50It was... It was an immensely pleasurable experience.
0:28:50 > 0:28:54Sort of too... Sort of embarrassingly pleasurable.
0:28:54 > 0:28:56We should really have paid to do it.
0:28:56 > 0:28:59I think we probably would have done, actually.
0:29:02 > 0:29:04There's concern for the actor Stephen Fry,
0:29:04 > 0:29:07who unexpectedly left the cast of a West End play three days
0:29:07 > 0:29:09after it opened and hasn't been seen since Monday.
0:29:09 > 0:29:11The play's author said Stephen Fry was
0:29:11 > 0:29:14in a state of emotional turmoil due to overwork,
0:29:14 > 0:29:17but his parents say they're not anxious about his disappearance
0:29:17 > 0:29:19because he has a great zest for life.
0:29:19 > 0:29:21I think I'd done a play in the West End for...
0:29:21 > 0:29:24Which Simon Gray had written.
0:29:24 > 0:29:27The Common Pursuit, with Rik Mayall and John Sessions.
0:29:27 > 0:29:32And then he called me up and said that he had a play that he'd like me
0:29:32 > 0:29:35to look at, about Blake, George Blake -
0:29:35 > 0:29:38the spy who escaped from Wormwood Scrubs -
0:29:38 > 0:29:40and that play was called Cell Mates.
0:29:40 > 0:29:41Again, with Rik Mayall.
0:29:41 > 0:29:44And that's where, if you like,
0:29:44 > 0:29:48my luck began to fizzle out.
0:29:48 > 0:29:51I was round his flat, off Jermyn Street,
0:29:51 > 0:29:52and we were having a drink,
0:29:52 > 0:29:55and he said, "Have you seen this article in the Evening Standard?"
0:29:55 > 0:29:57And it was the most cruel piece.
0:29:57 > 0:30:01Just a general think piece, an opinion piece, about,
0:30:01 > 0:30:03"Who is this guy? Why does he think he's so good?
0:30:03 > 0:30:04"You know, he's smug.
0:30:04 > 0:30:07"There's nothing particularly clever about him. I don't find him funny."
0:30:07 > 0:30:11That, I think, was what really tipped him over the edge,
0:30:11 > 0:30:13so I did see him very, very low,
0:30:13 > 0:30:16and it was only a few days later that the reviews came out
0:30:16 > 0:30:19for Cell Mates, and that, really, that was the end of it.
0:30:20 > 0:30:25I just couldn't take being in the play, or being in London.
0:30:25 > 0:30:32I got in my car and drove to one of the Channel ports.
0:30:32 > 0:30:37Folkestone, I think it was, yeah. And then to Zeebrugge.
0:30:37 > 0:30:41I think that is one of those moments where
0:30:41 > 0:30:46he ceased to become the driver of his own vehicle, as it were.
0:30:46 > 0:30:50People often report, under situations of great stress,
0:30:50 > 0:30:53report this kind of feeling of disconnection
0:30:53 > 0:30:55from their own actions.
0:30:55 > 0:30:57You know, "I woke up and I found myself"...
0:30:57 > 0:30:59They use the phrase "waking up".
0:30:59 > 0:31:02Instead of "I went there", they go, "I found myself there".
0:31:07 > 0:31:08I found myself in Hamburg.
0:31:08 > 0:31:12And I saw these rows of newspaper headlines,
0:31:12 > 0:31:15"Fears For Fry" type thing.
0:31:15 > 0:31:17They all are worried that I've committed suicide,
0:31:17 > 0:31:19that's the awful thing, isn't it?
0:31:19 > 0:31:22I can't believe I made people worry so much.
0:31:22 > 0:31:25When you feel you can't go on, it's not just a phrase,
0:31:25 > 0:31:27it's a reality.
0:31:27 > 0:31:29I could not go on.
0:31:29 > 0:31:32And I would have killed myself
0:31:32 > 0:31:34if I didn't have the option of disappearing.
0:31:34 > 0:31:37You know, it was not a great episode.
0:31:39 > 0:31:43But which of us has a life that consists only of great episodes?
0:31:43 > 0:31:48But I slowly got myself together with the help of
0:31:48 > 0:31:51the best and dearest of parents and the best and dearest of friends.
0:31:51 > 0:31:54It sort of all clarified. I saw doctors and things.
0:31:54 > 0:31:56And it was perfectly clear
0:31:56 > 0:32:00there WAS something a little amiss with the wiring upstairs.
0:32:00 > 0:32:03Rick Mayall, I don't think, ever forgave him for that.
0:32:03 > 0:32:06But another characteristic of Stephen is that,
0:32:06 > 0:32:09if he does step over the mark, his apologies,
0:32:09 > 0:32:13whether to the Twitterati, or to a television studio, are so fulsome
0:32:13 > 0:32:17and so generous and so sincere that you forgive him instantly.
0:32:23 > 0:32:27One of the greatest good fortunes I've had in my life is to be able
0:32:27 > 0:32:31to be connected to the greatest heroes of my life.
0:32:31 > 0:32:34Oscar Wilde, who meant everything to me,
0:32:34 > 0:32:36who opened the doors of language to me,
0:32:36 > 0:32:41and then, of course, made me examine the nature of my own sexuality,
0:32:41 > 0:32:44and allowed me to be proud of it.
0:32:44 > 0:32:48He was an incredible man who never ceases to astonish me...
0:32:48 > 0:32:50And his range and his influence...
0:32:50 > 0:32:51His greatness...
0:32:51 > 0:32:55And so, to be asked to play him in a film?
0:32:56 > 0:32:58Will you ever let me see the children again?
0:33:00 > 0:33:01Of course.
0:33:08 > 0:33:10But there must be one condition.
0:33:14 > 0:33:16Oscar, you must never see Bosie again.
0:33:18 > 0:33:21If I saw Bosie now, I'd kill him.
0:33:24 > 0:33:28I got to see that Stephen, and he told me, that he was nervous.
0:33:28 > 0:33:29He was nervous to be playing this...
0:33:29 > 0:33:32To be playing a lead in a film, for a start.
0:33:32 > 0:33:36Even though he's a wonderful actor, but I think he's very sensitive
0:33:36 > 0:33:40to feeling nervous and feeling the stress of that kind of stuff.
0:33:40 > 0:33:42And it's not something that he's necessarily been used to,
0:33:42 > 0:33:45playing an out-and-out lead in a dramatic film.
0:33:45 > 0:33:46And the fact he was playing Oscar Wilde,
0:33:46 > 0:33:48who was one of his great idols,
0:33:48 > 0:33:51and that is no easy feat, to play someone like Oscar Wilde.
0:33:51 > 0:33:53I always wonder what she's thinking?
0:33:53 > 0:33:54I expect it's about the baby.
0:33:55 > 0:33:58OK, we missed the last line.
0:33:58 > 0:34:01I met someone who knew him.
0:34:01 > 0:34:03And apparently gave a very good impression.
0:34:03 > 0:34:05HIGH-PITCHED VOICE: And he spoke like this!
0:34:05 > 0:34:08But the fact is it would be so appalling to sit through
0:34:08 > 0:34:10a film of someone speaking like that.
0:34:10 > 0:34:13There's very little doubt that he did not have an Irish accent,
0:34:13 > 0:34:15although he was born in Dublin.
0:34:15 > 0:34:17He himself said that his Irish accent was one of the many things
0:34:17 > 0:34:19he forgot at Oxford.
0:34:19 > 0:34:21And, you know...
0:34:21 > 0:34:24IRISH ACCENT: He's not talkin' loik dis, ye know?
0:34:24 > 0:34:27It would be rather annoying, because I don't do it well enough.
0:34:27 > 0:34:29They were honest with me.
0:34:29 > 0:34:32They said, "Look, you bailed out of a West End production,
0:34:32 > 0:34:35"so insurance companies are going to want to know
0:34:35 > 0:34:38"that you're reliable if you're cast in the film.
0:34:38 > 0:34:43"Plus it may well be that the money just won't buy you as Oscar Wilde.
0:34:43 > 0:34:46"They may want a proper film star."
0:34:46 > 0:34:49I said, "I understand completely, of course I understand.
0:34:49 > 0:34:53"And if they want to...
0:34:53 > 0:34:57"I'll pay extra for the insurance if it is extra, or whatever."
0:34:57 > 0:34:59I didn't want to sound too desperate,
0:34:59 > 0:35:01but I did want to show that I was very, very willing
0:35:01 > 0:35:04to undergo any humiliation in order to play the part.
0:35:04 > 0:35:06And fortunately, there wasn't much humiliation.
0:35:06 > 0:35:10There was a Japanese woman who represented a film fund.
0:35:10 > 0:35:13I came in, and we talked about Wilde as seriously as possible.
0:35:13 > 0:35:20And I played down anything vulgar or cheap about the Oscar Wilde story.
0:35:20 > 0:35:25And she said, "Oh, very good, yes. Nice to talk to you. Very good.
0:35:25 > 0:35:28"Before you go, one question I need to ask -
0:35:28 > 0:35:30"how much bumfuck in movie?"
0:35:32 > 0:35:36Well! They might've warned me that question was coming!
0:35:36 > 0:35:39So I said, "Just as much as is necessary, and no more."
0:35:41 > 0:35:43Wonderful!
0:35:43 > 0:35:47Do I understand that even a young boy you might pick up in the street
0:35:47 > 0:35:49would be a pleasing companion?
0:35:49 > 0:35:53I would talk to a street Arab with pleasure, if he would talk to me.
0:35:53 > 0:35:55- And take him to your rooms?- Yes.
0:35:55 > 0:35:57And then commit improprieties with him!
0:35:57 > 0:35:59CROWD GASPS
0:35:59 > 0:36:01Certainly not.
0:36:01 > 0:36:04The first time the thought had even crossed my mind,
0:36:04 > 0:36:07I was in a restaurant called Joe Allen's,
0:36:07 > 0:36:11which is a famous theatrical haunt in Covent Garden.
0:36:11 > 0:36:17And I had gone to the loo, and I was washing my hands or something,
0:36:17 > 0:36:19and a voice behind me said,
0:36:19 > 0:36:22"You know, you should play Oscar Wilde one day."
0:36:22 > 0:36:25And it was Alan Bennett!
0:36:25 > 0:36:29And I just looked at my hair and I thought, well, yes!
0:36:29 > 0:36:33The fact that the physical resemblance is uncanny.
0:36:33 > 0:36:35Not just the physical resemblance,
0:36:35 > 0:36:38but his whole sort of demeanour seemed to be Wildean.
0:36:38 > 0:36:41It was as if he was...
0:36:41 > 0:36:47He was some sort of weird recreation of this, of Oscar.
0:36:47 > 0:36:49Give a man a mask and he'll tell you the truth.
0:36:52 > 0:36:54Have we had enough of this?
0:36:54 > 0:36:56Shall we go and have dinner somewhere?
0:37:03 > 0:37:05There are certain indelible things that
0:37:05 > 0:37:07I will never forget about my relationship with Stephen,
0:37:07 > 0:37:09one of which is that I've had sex with him.
0:37:12 > 0:37:16I think, actually, it was my first sex scene I ever did.
0:37:16 > 0:37:17It was with Stephen.
0:37:22 > 0:37:24I was a lot more nervous than he was.
0:37:24 > 0:37:27Michael did the work.
0:37:27 > 0:37:30Revealed the flesh far more than I did!
0:37:30 > 0:37:32I was just a bit of kissing...
0:37:32 > 0:37:34But he was charming. He was very, very good.
0:37:37 > 0:37:39There has to be a first time for everything, Oscar.
0:37:39 > 0:37:43There was a moment of seduction where my character seduces him.
0:37:43 > 0:37:45I remember having to drop my trousers,
0:37:45 > 0:37:47and it was just so ridiculous.
0:37:47 > 0:37:51And so absurd, really.
0:37:51 > 0:37:54But it broke the ice, I think.
0:37:54 > 0:37:56I feel...
0:37:56 > 0:38:01Like a city that's been under siege for 20 years.
0:38:01 > 0:38:02HE GIGGLES
0:38:02 > 0:38:05And suddenly the gates are thrown open.
0:38:06 > 0:38:08The citizens come pouring out.
0:38:10 > 0:38:14You know, filming can be awful.
0:38:14 > 0:38:18Sometimes you've got to grit your teeth and make love to Michael Sheen
0:38:18 > 0:38:20and Ioan Gruffudd and Jude Law.
0:38:20 > 0:38:22And just have done with it.
0:38:22 > 0:38:24You've just got to do it.
0:38:24 > 0:38:25Huh.
0:38:25 > 0:38:27And action!
0:38:27 > 0:38:29FLAPPER MUSIC
0:38:34 > 0:38:35I had been asked on a few occasions
0:38:35 > 0:38:38whether I'd consider directing a film.
0:38:38 > 0:38:42And I always felt that if you were going to direct a film,
0:38:42 > 0:38:44given how much time it took,
0:38:44 > 0:38:47that it better be something that really meant something to you.
0:38:47 > 0:38:51And so the first project that really did make me think,
0:38:51 > 0:38:54"I could see myself giving up 18 months,
0:38:54 > 0:38:56"two years of my life to this",
0:38:56 > 0:38:59was Vile Bodies, the novel by Evelyn Waugh.
0:39:01 > 0:39:03Cut. Thank you!
0:39:03 > 0:39:07I was really, really excited about the idea of him directing this.
0:39:07 > 0:39:09It just seemed to make such sense.
0:39:09 > 0:39:13I remember, when we were working on Wilde, he would always ask about, "What's the lens?"
0:39:13 > 0:39:15He's fascinated by the technical aspects of it as well.
0:39:15 > 0:39:18The thing he was most concerned about was directing actors.
0:39:18 > 0:39:20It was almost rude of him, he felt,
0:39:20 > 0:39:23to give you notes or give you direction.
0:39:23 > 0:39:27And I know that gave him a lot of anxiety.
0:39:27 > 0:39:30Do you think he could help us by not standing up quite so suddenly?
0:39:30 > 0:39:35- Right, yes.- I mean, don't do a false, movie actor's slow rise,
0:39:35 > 0:39:38but not quite such a spring would be fine.
0:39:38 > 0:39:41I'm worried, as a director, my problem is that I'm just too
0:39:41 > 0:39:44thrilled with everything that happens. "That's wonderful!"
0:39:44 > 0:39:47There was a rather silly moment where, in a long scene
0:39:47 > 0:39:50involving quite a few people, about five people...
0:39:50 > 0:39:51That's Mr Whatsisname,
0:39:51 > 0:39:55and, over there in the corner, that's the Major.
0:39:55 > 0:39:56And that's an American judge,
0:39:56 > 0:39:59and there's the King of Pomerania.
0:39:59 > 0:40:01Anatolia, actually.
0:40:01 > 0:40:03But, alas, no longer.
0:40:03 > 0:40:07And there was a line of them at the end, and I said "cut!",
0:40:07 > 0:40:10and Simon Callow, who was fabulous in the film,
0:40:10 > 0:40:11and he was at the end of this line...
0:40:11 > 0:40:13And I went down the line saying,
0:40:13 > 0:40:17"Wonderful, fantastic, marvellous, miraculous, unbelievable!
0:40:17 > 0:40:20And Simon said, "I don't think you want to tell an actor that
0:40:20 > 0:40:22"he's just been unbelievable."
0:40:22 > 0:40:24He was very good about being specific about certain
0:40:24 > 0:40:26pronunciations of certain things.
0:40:26 > 0:40:29Or the rules, the etiquette, the code of that world.
0:40:29 > 0:40:31He was brilliant at that.
0:40:31 > 0:40:33And that helps a lot, as an actor, I think.
0:40:33 > 0:40:38I come from a town - Port Talbot, in South Wales -
0:40:38 > 0:40:40that's very different to the world of Bright Young Things,
0:40:40 > 0:40:43so I'm never quite sure about how that kind of stuff works.
0:40:43 > 0:40:46So it makes you feel a lot more confident when you've got
0:40:46 > 0:40:49someone like Stephen who can really support you in all that.
0:40:49 > 0:40:54What strange ancestors you have, Jane. All so serious-looking.
0:40:54 > 0:40:56It's as if they're gazing into my soul
0:40:56 > 0:40:58and finding something rather horrid.
0:40:58 > 0:41:01Well, they probably are.
0:41:01 > 0:41:06The book, Vile Bodies, was dedicated to Mr and Mrs Bryan Guinness.
0:41:06 > 0:41:10But that's actually Diana Mitford, one of the famous Mitford sisters.
0:41:10 > 0:41:15But her sister, Deborah Mitford, Debo, as she's known,
0:41:15 > 0:41:17married the Duke of Devonshire.
0:41:17 > 0:41:19You're thinking, "Why are you telling me this, Stephen?"
0:41:19 > 0:41:22I cheekily called her up and said,
0:41:22 > 0:41:26"Look, you knew the world of these Bright Young Things."
0:41:26 > 0:41:27"Yes, dear, yes?"
0:41:27 > 0:41:31I said, "Can I bring my actors to come and see you?
0:41:31 > 0:41:33"Because they're very, very good,
0:41:33 > 0:41:37"but they're sort of doing a middle-class 1920s accent."
0:41:37 > 0:41:39She said, "Of course, dear, of course."
0:41:39 > 0:41:42She said, "I've made a few notes," she was so wonderful,
0:41:42 > 0:41:44"I suppose I would say this, that the
0:41:44 > 0:41:49"middle classes, if they were surprised, they would say 'Oh!'
0:41:49 > 0:41:51"You see? One short, sharp syllable.
0:41:51 > 0:41:56"Whereas we'd say, well, at least three syllables, 'Oh-ooh-oooh!'
0:41:57 > 0:41:58And they all, of course...
0:41:58 > 0:42:01That's just the sort of thing an actor or actress likes to hear.
0:42:01 > 0:42:03They can get their fingers into that.
0:42:03 > 0:42:06"Oh-ooh-oooh." Isn't that marvellous?!
0:42:08 > 0:42:10# I want to be in America
0:42:10 > 0:42:12# OK by me in America
0:42:12 > 0:42:14# Everything free in America
0:42:14 > 0:42:20# For a small fee in America. #
0:42:20 > 0:42:23The format for Stephen Fry In America was my idea,
0:42:23 > 0:42:25that of visiting every state.
0:42:25 > 0:42:28And it occurred to me, with almost a shock, if you like,
0:42:28 > 0:42:32that I'd never seen a programme which tackled America
0:42:32 > 0:42:35as what it is, a federation of states.
0:42:35 > 0:42:37I thought it'd be worth visiting every state.
0:42:37 > 0:42:40There are 50 of them - it's a nice round number.
0:42:41 > 0:42:44That taxi actually came from Chicago.
0:42:44 > 0:42:46From a fish and chip restaurant in Chicago.
0:42:46 > 0:42:49And it was used to drive customers if they were drunk.
0:42:49 > 0:42:52You know, a fish and chip restaurant in Chicago will serve wine
0:42:52 > 0:42:54and beer, obviously. Unlike the ones in England.
0:42:54 > 0:42:57It was a courtesy car, I think is the phrase.
0:43:00 > 0:43:02I drive one around London,
0:43:02 > 0:43:05and it seemed like a good kind of badge to have in the middle
0:43:05 > 0:43:09of the Wild West or the swamps of the Everglades, or whatever.
0:43:12 > 0:43:14America is a phenomenally exciting place
0:43:14 > 0:43:16and I think a lot of British people
0:43:16 > 0:43:19have that sense of America's myth in them,
0:43:19 > 0:43:21and they really envy me,
0:43:21 > 0:43:25the idea of driving through all the states. Especially men.
0:43:25 > 0:43:28Men have a particular obsession with driving through America.
0:43:28 > 0:43:31Probably in a Mustang, I don't know what it is.
0:43:31 > 0:43:32Good boy.
0:43:32 > 0:43:35- No, don't do that to me. - You're on you own! Have fun!
0:43:35 > 0:43:36Don't do that to me.
0:43:36 > 0:43:39He's not going to jump over the fence, is he?
0:43:39 > 0:43:40Good boy.
0:43:40 > 0:43:42No, no, whoa!
0:43:42 > 0:43:43Calm down, whoa!
0:43:43 > 0:43:45Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!
0:43:45 > 0:43:47Whoa! Whoa!
0:43:48 > 0:43:50Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
0:43:50 > 0:43:52Whoa! Whoa.
0:43:52 > 0:43:54Stephen, I don't know what to tell you,
0:43:54 > 0:43:57I apologise, this has never happened before.
0:43:57 > 0:43:59Let me tell you, it's always happened with me.
0:43:59 > 0:44:02Whenever I've been on a horse, the horse's owner goes,
0:44:02 > 0:44:05"That's strange, he's never done that before."
0:44:05 > 0:44:06Oh, well, we got it.
0:44:06 > 0:44:08Never, ever again.
0:44:08 > 0:44:10Never, you understand?
0:44:10 > 0:44:14I've had a period now of about 10, 15 years nearly
0:44:14 > 0:44:16of making documentaries.
0:44:16 > 0:44:18Which is something I never thought I would do,
0:44:18 > 0:44:19and I've really enjoyed that.
0:44:19 > 0:44:22Both travelogues of the more traditional type...
0:44:22 > 0:44:23Hey, hello!
0:44:23 > 0:44:27..and ones like the manic depression and me,
0:44:27 > 0:44:30and the one about Aids I did, and various other subjects that are,
0:44:30 > 0:44:34if you like, a little more serious, a little more personal.
0:44:34 > 0:44:37I'm starting in Uganda, a country that seems to be
0:44:37 > 0:44:40going backwards in its treatment of gay people.
0:44:44 > 0:44:49Since 2009, its government has been considering passing a new law
0:44:49 > 0:44:53which proposes a death penalty for homosexuals.
0:44:55 > 0:45:00It is not permissible in Uganda for single sex relationship. Finished!
0:45:00 > 0:45:03And if you're advocating that, I'm sorry,
0:45:03 > 0:45:07I will treat you as a destructor of Uganda's ideologies.
0:45:07 > 0:45:10Homosexuality is fantastic, you should try it. It's really good fun.
0:45:10 > 0:45:13- I will arrest you, I will arrest you. - I'm not having sex with people!
0:45:13 > 0:45:15And I wouldn't want someone who wasn't gay to have it.
0:45:15 > 0:45:17But if you are gay, it's wonderful.
0:45:17 > 0:45:20Ross Wilson, a BBC producer who came to see me,
0:45:20 > 0:45:25and we talked about making two films for the BBC
0:45:25 > 0:45:29about the nature of manic depression/bipolar disorder.
0:45:29 > 0:45:32It's an odd way to recover from a particularly bad episode,
0:45:32 > 0:45:34then to throw yourself into talking about it.
0:45:34 > 0:45:36And one thing I never want to be, I hope,
0:45:36 > 0:45:42is a professional mad person and professional bipolar disorder figure.
0:45:42 > 0:45:46Did you regard it as a very serious step, to section people?
0:45:46 > 0:45:49I think it's a hugely serious step to section people.
0:45:49 > 0:45:54What they don't have is insight into their illness and behaviour.
0:45:54 > 0:45:57And that's obviously why sections were originally invented.
0:45:57 > 0:46:02To be able to keep someone safe when their natural instinct,
0:46:02 > 0:46:06because of their illness, would not be to do it themselves.
0:46:06 > 0:46:10So the vast majority of people you talk to who have been
0:46:10 > 0:46:13sectioned will say to you, "I've got absolutely no idea
0:46:13 > 0:46:15"why I was sectioned, I was perfectly all right."
0:46:15 > 0:46:19And then you find out they were hanging out of a window
0:46:19 > 0:46:20by one hand, naked.
0:46:20 > 0:46:23What the hell do we do, you know?
0:46:23 > 0:46:28For him to reveal the things that are most troubling for him,
0:46:28 > 0:46:31that have given him a lot of difficulty in his life,
0:46:31 > 0:46:33and to be honest and vulnerable and open about that,
0:46:33 > 0:46:37that has connected with people, and he's done that time and time again.
0:46:37 > 0:46:39Aside from all the other wonderful qualities he has.
0:46:39 > 0:46:42And that, I think, is what makes him truly remarkable.
0:46:49 > 0:46:54Kingdom was a delight to make, a wonderful group of actors
0:46:54 > 0:46:59coming up to Norfolk to be part of our little world over three series.
0:46:59 > 0:47:02It has a particular vibe, Norfolk,
0:47:02 > 0:47:05and that, of course, is where Stephen is from.
0:47:05 > 0:47:08We set out, with Kingdom, to make, yes, absolutely,
0:47:08 > 0:47:10unapologetic, cosy, Sunday-evening television.
0:47:10 > 0:47:16But also, there are a lot of juxtapositions between cosiness
0:47:16 > 0:47:19and real terror and weirdness.
0:47:19 > 0:47:22Mr Snell, you're an aggravating nuisance, a tiresome pedant,
0:47:22 > 0:47:25and a complete genius.
0:47:25 > 0:47:29- That land cannot be developed without your permission.- I know!
0:47:29 > 0:47:33I played Beatrice Kingdom, his mad, borderline personality sister.
0:47:33 > 0:47:38- Where is the marmalade? - Orange or grapefruit?- Grapefruit.
0:47:38 > 0:47:40Top right, second shelf, third from the left.
0:47:42 > 0:47:48To see her being this really off-the-scale kind of a creature
0:47:48 > 0:47:51was truly wonderful.
0:47:51 > 0:47:56And yet, you know, not far off a lot of people's experiences.
0:47:56 > 0:47:59Peter, she's taped my chair to the desk!
0:47:59 > 0:48:01- Oh, dear.- Any suggestions?
0:48:01 > 0:48:03Erm...
0:48:03 > 0:48:05Oh, look, what does this say?
0:48:05 > 0:48:08Scissors, apparently. Could try those?
0:48:11 > 0:48:15He has an enormous energy, and an enormous presence on set.
0:48:15 > 0:48:19He's just incredibly entertaining to be around. You're never bored.
0:48:19 > 0:48:23He's an amazing raconteur, always telling stories,
0:48:23 > 0:48:27doing 150,000 things at once, on his iPhone...
0:48:27 > 0:48:32To be without coverage in the 21st-century is just... I don't know.
0:48:32 > 0:48:36He's an incredibly vivacious, gregarious man. Very entertaining.
0:48:40 > 0:48:44If I went back in time and saw my little 11-year-old self
0:48:44 > 0:48:47pounding away on a bicycle, and said,
0:48:47 > 0:48:50"Do you know, in a few years' time,
0:48:50 > 0:48:55"you'll be in a flash convertible car with a film crew and a camera,
0:48:55 > 0:49:01"shooting down on you as you drive along", I would wet myself.
0:49:01 > 0:49:04And I would also, of course, fail to believe it.
0:49:16 > 0:49:19John Lloyd, with whom I'd had a long and happy relationship
0:49:19 > 0:49:21since leaving university, really.
0:49:21 > 0:49:25Since writing that first little sketch for Not The Nine O'Clock News
0:49:25 > 0:49:28and then all the way through the Blackadders...
0:49:30 > 0:49:36He took me to lunch and he laid out this idea of a series.
0:49:36 > 0:49:38Stephen wasn't designed as the host of QI,
0:49:38 > 0:49:40he was meant to be captain of the clever team,
0:49:40 > 0:49:43as Alan Davies was captain of the ignorant team,
0:49:43 > 0:49:45and the nice Mr Palin, Michael Palin in the middle.
0:49:45 > 0:49:48When Mike turned it down, because he didn't think
0:49:48 > 0:49:51he was clever enough, and because he was tired after spending months
0:49:51 > 0:49:55in the Sahara, I honestly thought that was the end of the programme.
0:49:55 > 0:49:58I thought it wouldn't work if it wasn't like that.
0:49:59 > 0:50:03So I kind of begged Stephen if he would stand in just for the pilot.
0:50:03 > 0:50:06I said, "No, no, I'd like to do anything except that."
0:50:06 > 0:50:10No, because that's the boring bit, you're the schoolmaster,
0:50:10 > 0:50:12and I would like to be one of the...
0:50:12 > 0:50:15He said, "Just for the pilot."
0:50:15 > 0:50:20First question, who or what is Bobo Fing?
0:50:20 > 0:50:22- Erm... - WHISTLE
0:50:22 > 0:50:23BELL AND HORN Bill...
0:50:25 > 0:50:26Pigeon!
0:50:26 > 0:50:30The answer is a language spoken in Mali,
0:50:30 > 0:50:32where 10,000 people are fluent in Bobo Fing.
0:50:32 > 0:50:36Not to be confused with Burkina Faso, where they speak just Bobo.
0:50:36 > 0:50:41Or Tanzania where more than ten million people speak Gogo.
0:50:41 > 0:50:45Within five minutes of him starting the show,
0:50:45 > 0:50:48you could see this is the job he was born to do.
0:50:48 > 0:50:52Stephen showed in the pilot that he would be fantastic.
0:50:52 > 0:50:55In 1992, the French government relaxed their ruling on the
0:50:55 > 0:50:59formal list of what French children could be legally christened.
0:50:59 > 0:51:01Jean-Pierre, Jean-Michel, Marie-Claire, Jean-Marie,
0:51:01 > 0:51:03Tintin, Babar, Comte de Frou Frou...
0:51:03 > 0:51:06And the following year, after relaxing these laws,
0:51:06 > 0:51:09the most popular name for a baby French boy was Kevin.
0:51:12 > 0:51:16And then, about a week later, Lloydy, John Lloyd rings me up.
0:51:16 > 0:51:18And says, "The BBC are thrilled with it,
0:51:18 > 0:51:19"they would like to make a series."
0:51:19 > 0:51:20I said, "Hooray!"
0:51:20 > 0:51:22"As long as you're the chairman."
0:51:22 > 0:51:23"Oh..."
0:51:24 > 0:51:27So, fair enough.
0:51:28 > 0:51:31I was fighting something that shouldn't have been fought.
0:51:31 > 0:51:33It was natural for me to be the chairman, I think.
0:51:33 > 0:51:38I have that awful, pompous, chairmany sort of manner.
0:51:38 > 0:51:40And where better to start than right at the beginning,
0:51:40 > 0:51:43with a round of questions on Adam and Eve?
0:51:43 > 0:51:49Underneath all his scabrous wit,
0:51:49 > 0:51:53he's such an enthusiast. He loves stuff.
0:51:53 > 0:51:56As a child, I did embarrassingly collect facts
0:51:56 > 0:51:57in a very QI sort of way.
0:51:57 > 0:51:59And I probably would have loved, at least,
0:51:59 > 0:52:03I know I would have loved QI, when I was a child.
0:52:03 > 0:52:08I learned whole swathes of the Guinness Book Of Records.
0:52:08 > 0:52:12I mean, how utterly weird and wrong is that?
0:52:12 > 0:52:15Who invented, ladies and gentlemen, the telephone?
0:52:15 > 0:52:18I'm not going to say it. I'm not going to say it.
0:52:19 > 0:52:23It was Antonio Meucci, Italian-born scientist,
0:52:23 > 0:52:25invented the telephone.
0:52:25 > 0:52:28He'd perfected it by 1871, couldn't afford the patent...
0:52:28 > 0:52:30But do you know what happened?
0:52:30 > 0:52:33It was being assessed for a patent in the offices of Western Union,
0:52:33 > 0:52:36and it fell into the hands of a young, Scottish engineer
0:52:36 > 0:52:39- called Alexander Graham Bell. - "I am nicking that!"- Boo!
0:52:39 > 0:52:42And he grabbed the chance and patented it in his own name.
0:52:42 > 0:52:46Meucci took him to court, but died before the judgment was given,
0:52:46 > 0:52:49leaving Bell to claim his place in history.
0:52:49 > 0:52:51- What do we say to Alexander Graham Bell?- You- BEEP.- Boo!
0:52:51 > 0:52:53APPLAUSE
0:52:57 > 0:53:02We cannot underestimate how he just holds the whole thing together.
0:53:03 > 0:53:06I've been on lots of panel shows. I've sat in a lot of studios,
0:53:06 > 0:53:11often for hours, thinking, "Is this ever going to end?"
0:53:12 > 0:53:148 Out Of 10 Cats.
0:53:16 > 0:53:22Stephen makes the whole thing like an evening round his house, somehow.
0:53:22 > 0:53:25He's so conscious, he would never want anyone to not have their
0:53:25 > 0:53:27glass filled or be bored, you know?
0:53:27 > 0:53:30- Would you like a chocolate ant? - I'll suck it.
0:53:30 > 0:53:33- Would you?- No!
0:53:33 > 0:53:35- Are you going to risk any one of these?- I'll have a look at them.
0:53:35 > 0:53:38If I had a chocolate ant, would you have one?
0:53:38 > 0:53:40I'll let you go first.
0:53:40 > 0:53:44- I've eaten it.- Yeah, I'm not really bothered, to be honest with you.
0:53:44 > 0:53:46The time when he really lost it
0:53:46 > 0:53:50was when we were doing a thing about the Parthenon.
0:53:50 > 0:53:53They say of the Acrop...Acropolis, where the Parthenon is...
0:53:53 > 0:53:55Burble-bee-ba-ba-doo.
0:53:55 > 0:53:58- They say of the Acropolis, where the Parthenon is... - Are those the magic words?
0:53:58 > 0:54:03They say of the Acropolis, where the Parthenon is, that they...
0:54:03 > 0:54:05APPLAUSE
0:54:09 > 0:54:11Turns out, they didn't say anything at all.
0:54:11 > 0:54:13He couldn't say it. He kept stumbling over his words.
0:54:13 > 0:54:16Which is most unlike him. Normally we get to the end of a recording,
0:54:16 > 0:54:19and there may be one thing, or two things for pickups.
0:54:19 > 0:54:21He really doesn't fluff.
0:54:21 > 0:54:24And he kept stumbling over his words, and then we all
0:54:24 > 0:54:26joined in in mocking him and mimicking him,
0:54:26 > 0:54:27and turned it into a song.
0:54:27 > 0:54:31They say of the Acropolis, where the Parthenon is...
0:54:33 > 0:54:35- # Theeeyyyy say of the Acropolis - Everyone!
0:54:35 > 0:54:37# Where the Parthenon is
0:54:37 > 0:54:38- ALL:- # They say of the Acropolis
0:54:38 > 0:54:40# Where the Parthenon is
0:54:40 > 0:54:41# They say of the Acropolis
0:54:41 > 0:54:43# Where the Parthenon is
0:54:43 > 0:54:44# They say of the Acropolis
0:54:44 > 0:54:46# Where the Parthenon iiiissss
0:54:46 > 0:54:47# They say of the Acropolis
0:54:47 > 0:54:50- # Where the Parthenon is. # - Fight, fight, fight, fight!
0:54:50 > 0:54:52Bloody hell, Stephen.
0:54:52 > 0:54:53This better be good!
0:54:56 > 0:54:59QI is by far and away the happiest show on television in any genre,
0:54:59 > 0:55:02I guarantee you. People come, they stay.
0:55:02 > 0:55:03Except Stephen, sadly,
0:55:03 > 0:55:07who is retiring halfway through the alphabet, after the M series.
0:55:14 > 0:55:18He would never have wanted any fuss.
0:55:18 > 0:55:20If there was a hint of a little bit of fuss
0:55:20 > 0:55:23about the fact that he's leaving...
0:55:23 > 0:55:25if we'd invited Hugh Laurie or somebody like that,
0:55:25 > 0:55:27he would've gone, "Oh, God!",
0:55:27 > 0:55:28and run for the hills.
0:55:28 > 0:55:31If he was going to leave, it was always going to be
0:55:31 > 0:55:35in the quietest possible way, from a distance, by e-mail.
0:55:36 > 0:55:41So I was saddened, but not surprised, really.
0:55:41 > 0:55:46I felt, in recent years, it's been a bit of a squeeze on the show,
0:55:46 > 0:55:48and we have to compact the recordings,
0:55:48 > 0:55:51we have to do three shows in a 24-hour period each week.
0:55:51 > 0:55:55And it's pretty tough going, it's not fun like it used to be.
0:55:55 > 0:55:57# I never thought
0:55:57 > 0:55:59# One day, you'd be gone. #
0:55:59 > 0:56:04Well, I'm leaving QI, really, because I honestly think 13 years is enough.
0:56:04 > 0:56:05It's been incredibly good fun,
0:56:05 > 0:56:09I wouldn't want to feel stale or for it to go sour on me
0:56:09 > 0:56:13in that sort of way where I feel I'm treading water or repeating myself.
0:56:13 > 0:56:16And I do think it's a good enough idea to have another host,
0:56:16 > 0:56:19and Sandi Toksvig couldn't be a better choice.
0:56:19 > 0:56:23So I'm very happy for the show to go on without me, really,
0:56:23 > 0:56:25and find other things to do.
0:56:29 > 0:56:32It's been a very odd life in terms of the mixtures.
0:56:32 > 0:56:38A very fortunate one, really, but I also would hate to stop acting.
0:56:38 > 0:56:42I love film acting and I love acting in TV dramas and things. And writing.
0:56:42 > 0:56:43So I hope to continue to write
0:56:43 > 0:56:48and enjoy the pleasures of age that come to an actor when he
0:56:48 > 0:56:52can play characters who don't have to worry about how they look.
0:56:55 > 0:56:57What is the meaning of this?!
0:56:57 > 0:56:59We caught them stealing weapons, Sire.
0:56:59 > 0:57:02Ah, enemies of the state, eh?
0:57:02 > 0:57:06I think people only take someone to their hearts in the way
0:57:06 > 0:57:10that our nation has taken someone like Stephen to their hearts,
0:57:10 > 0:57:12if they believe that that person is really giving
0:57:12 > 0:57:16something of themselves and being genuine.
0:57:16 > 0:57:18He likes people. He likes funny people.
0:57:22 > 0:57:23Yes.
0:57:26 > 0:57:28And if you get a text from him or an e-mail from him,
0:57:28 > 0:57:30it's always got a little hint of humour.
0:57:30 > 0:57:35This kind of energy about him, he's quite a life force.
0:57:35 > 0:57:36# Row, row, row your punt
0:57:36 > 0:57:38# Gently down the stream!
0:57:38 > 0:57:40# Belts off, trousers down
0:57:40 > 0:57:41# Isn't life a scream? #
0:57:43 > 0:57:45Let's address the facts of the case.
0:57:45 > 0:57:51Stephen is immensely clever, immensely funny and immensely kind.
0:57:51 > 0:57:58Those three things are really enough to take the day.
0:57:58 > 0:58:01If... I don't play gin rummy, but I imagine
0:58:01 > 0:58:03if you had those three cards in your hand...
0:58:03 > 0:58:05you go "gin!", don't you?
0:58:06 > 0:58:10Ladies and gentlemen, what a night, what a lady, what a knight.
0:58:13 > 0:58:16I join with Meryl Streep in wanting to spank you all.
0:58:21 > 0:58:24It only remains for me to add something obscene
0:58:24 > 0:58:27and offensive that can't be edited out.
0:58:27 > 0:58:30You've being kind, you've been delightfully cartilaginous,
0:58:30 > 0:58:32and you will never understand how much I love you.
0:58:32 > 0:58:35Good night, thank you very much. APPLAUSE