0:00:02 > 0:00:06It's the last thing we want to think about - our funeral -
0:00:06 > 0:00:10but we all have very different thoughts about the way we want to go.
0:00:11 > 0:00:14When the sun sets on the ocean blue,
0:00:14 > 0:00:17remember me as I will always remember you.
0:00:17 > 0:00:18God bless, Mum.
0:00:20 > 0:00:24For some people, though, death is very much their way of life...
0:00:25 > 0:00:27..and they love their work.
0:00:28 > 0:00:32We care for the dead, but we're there to help the families
0:00:32 > 0:00:34and I can't imagine a more rewarding job.
0:00:38 > 0:00:41Welcome to a world that most of us will never see.
0:00:43 > 0:00:48We are opening the doors on a very Welsh undertaking.
0:01:14 > 0:01:18Every week in Wales, there are over 500 funerals
0:01:18 > 0:01:22and today, Gareth Jenkins of Baglan Funeral Home near Port Talbot
0:01:22 > 0:01:26is in the very early stages of organising just one of them.
0:01:26 > 0:01:28We're arranging... Oh, I've spelt that wrong.
0:01:28 > 0:01:30We're arranging...
0:01:30 > 0:01:32Actually, the village of Glyncorrwg
0:01:32 > 0:01:35has been very unfortunate there the last fortnight.
0:01:35 > 0:01:37For such a small village,
0:01:37 > 0:01:39they've had four people that have passed away there.
0:01:39 > 0:01:44It's a close community and they never want to put it in the paper
0:01:44 > 0:01:45because there's no need, really.
0:01:47 > 0:01:49The third generation of a family of funeral directors,
0:01:49 > 0:01:52Gareth is originally from the small village of Cymmer
0:01:52 > 0:01:54and still serves his old patch.
0:01:54 > 0:01:57Much has changed in the Welsh funeral business
0:01:57 > 0:01:59but other things remain very traditional.
0:02:01 > 0:02:03When people hear there are funerals,
0:02:03 > 0:02:05they automatically go to certain places.
0:02:06 > 0:02:09In the Ebbw Valleys, normally the shops and clubs,
0:02:09 > 0:02:12and then, I've done a few funerals from over the other valley
0:02:12 > 0:02:15in the Ogmore Vale Valley.
0:02:15 > 0:02:18It's their sort of tradition there that there's certain
0:02:18 > 0:02:21lampposts that they put the funeral notices on.
0:02:22 > 0:02:25Sometimes, people want a private funeral
0:02:25 > 0:02:28and they don't put a notice up at all.
0:02:28 > 0:02:30People are phoning me up, "Where's the notice?"
0:02:30 > 0:02:34That's where we're going now. I've got to collect some clothes as well.
0:02:35 > 0:02:39A lady passed away in hospital and I asked the family,
0:02:39 > 0:02:42and they'd like their mother to be dressed.
0:02:43 > 0:02:45- Hello.- Hello, come on in.- Thanks.
0:02:45 > 0:02:48And the family of the late Margaret Davies
0:02:48 > 0:02:50are ready to check the order of service.
0:02:51 > 0:02:55Sometimes, there might be a slight error on the notice,
0:02:55 > 0:02:58but if the family have read it before they put them out,
0:02:58 > 0:02:59I feel better about that.
0:03:01 > 0:03:04- Right, so we've got the clothes there, is it?- Yeah.
0:03:04 > 0:03:06The family have given me the clothes.
0:03:06 > 0:03:07They are ready to dress her.
0:03:07 > 0:03:11When they come down to say their final goodbyes,
0:03:11 > 0:03:13she'll be looking glamorous in her clothes
0:03:13 > 0:03:15and it's clothes they're familiar with.
0:03:15 > 0:03:17I think she'll look really nice then.
0:03:19 > 0:03:21- That's lovely. And her glasses on?- Glasses.
0:03:21 > 0:03:24- And her teeth. - Remember the teeth.- OK.
0:03:25 > 0:03:27That's lovely.
0:03:28 > 0:03:32Clothes collected, order of service checked,
0:03:32 > 0:03:35it's now time to distribute the funeral notices.
0:03:36 > 0:03:38We generally put one in the post office.
0:03:38 > 0:03:40The cafe is closed.
0:03:40 > 0:03:42The shops are closing.
0:03:42 > 0:03:45There are getting less places we can actually put them.
0:03:45 > 0:03:46BUZZER RINGS
0:03:48 > 0:03:49- Hello, there.- Hello.
0:03:51 > 0:03:53I was just wondering, a family have asked
0:03:53 > 0:03:56if you would mind putting funeral notices in.
0:03:56 > 0:03:57- Oh, no, we don't mind.- OK.
0:04:02 > 0:04:04This is the shop.
0:04:06 > 0:04:09- Hello. All right?- No, I'm not.
0:04:10 > 0:04:12- What's wrong?- You see, yesterday...
0:04:13 > 0:04:15I'd put make-up on in the morning.
0:04:15 > 0:04:18- I've got no make-up and I haven't done my hair today.- Yeah.
0:04:18 > 0:04:20- And I've dressed like a skunk. - GARETH LAUGHS
0:04:24 > 0:04:25This is one of the places.
0:04:25 > 0:04:27They always look in the window here,
0:04:27 > 0:04:30so we've got to put notices in here as well.
0:04:34 > 0:04:37Gareth has arranged thousands of funerals
0:04:37 > 0:04:39and can average up to ten a week.
0:04:41 > 0:04:46We've been established as a funeral company since 1948.
0:04:46 > 0:04:4924 hours a day, seven days a week, 52 weeks of the year,
0:04:49 > 0:04:51you have to be on call.
0:04:51 > 0:04:55Police call us, doctors call us, family call us
0:04:55 > 0:04:58and you just have to be there to provide the service.
0:04:58 > 0:05:00Through here is the mortuary.
0:05:02 > 0:05:05People always ask me, "What's the worst thing?
0:05:05 > 0:05:08"How can you deal, you know, with dead bodies?"
0:05:08 > 0:05:12That's probably the easiest and the thing that you tend to get used to.
0:05:12 > 0:05:15The hardest definitely is dealing with a family
0:05:15 > 0:05:17who's just lost somebody.
0:05:18 > 0:05:21When I first started, it was very traditional -
0:05:21 > 0:05:28a church, maybe, or chapel - whereas now it's more a celebration of life.
0:05:35 > 0:05:4140 miles down the M4 is Newport-based Tovey Bros Funeral Directors -
0:05:41 > 0:05:46another family firm that have brought tradition into the 21st century.
0:05:48 > 0:05:51I'm James Tovey from Tovey Bros in Newport.
0:05:51 > 0:05:56My great, great, great grandfather was working alongside an existing funeral director in Newport
0:05:56 > 0:06:00who became ill and his wife asked my great, great, great grandfather to help out.
0:06:00 > 0:06:02And eventually, he took over the business
0:06:02 > 0:06:05and it's amazing that something accidental like that
0:06:05 > 0:06:08has forged the lives of so many of us since.
0:06:09 > 0:06:12Follow me through to the main reception room here.
0:06:14 > 0:06:18You can see around the walls, there are pictures of all my ancestors.
0:06:18 > 0:06:21Not many people have their great-great-great grandfather
0:06:21 > 0:06:23looking down on them when they come to work every day.
0:06:23 > 0:06:26And then obviously, the rest, my great-great grandfather
0:06:26 > 0:06:30and it has gone down from father to son for six generations,
0:06:30 > 0:06:33now, right down to me at the end, I'm afraid, at the moment anyway.
0:06:34 > 0:06:35Tovey is the family name
0:06:35 > 0:06:39and originally we were established in Dock Street in Newport.
0:06:39 > 0:06:42We had to leave there in the 1950s and early '60s,
0:06:42 > 0:06:45when they developed the Kingsway Centre.
0:06:45 > 0:06:49And about ten years ago, I discovered this old window
0:06:49 > 0:06:53in one of our storage sheds and it was from the original premises.
0:06:57 > 0:07:00We're very lucky to have this service chapel,
0:07:00 > 0:07:02which was built on about 20 years ago,
0:07:02 > 0:07:04when I decided to join the business.
0:07:04 > 0:07:07The building is a Grade II listed building,
0:07:07 > 0:07:11but we were able to sympathetically add on this service chapel.
0:07:15 > 0:07:17We are lucky to have everything on one site here.
0:07:17 > 0:07:19Our garages are here as well
0:07:19 > 0:07:22so everything is nicely and neatly contained.
0:07:22 > 0:07:24We've just got a funeral leaving here now, actually.
0:07:24 > 0:07:27One of our hearses is going out to a funeral with a lot of flowers today,
0:07:27 > 0:07:30which is quite unusual, but it looks impressive,
0:07:30 > 0:07:32and obviously what the family wanted.
0:07:32 > 0:07:36All our vehicles are Jaguars. I'm very keen to have the best fleet
0:07:36 > 0:07:38we can possibly have.
0:07:38 > 0:07:41My thinking on everything to do with funerals is that I try and give
0:07:41 > 0:07:45families what I would want for own my funeral, or my own family's
0:07:45 > 0:07:48funeral, and so I think it is important to have nice
0:07:48 > 0:07:52vehicles, not only for the deceased to be in
0:07:52 > 0:07:56but also for families to travel in comfort and style.
0:08:00 > 0:08:02That is pretty central there, that is good.
0:08:02 > 0:08:06But not all of James' customers want to travel in luxury.
0:08:06 > 0:08:10Some are more than content with an altogether more agricultural
0:08:10 > 0:08:12form of transport.
0:08:12 > 0:08:15So this afternoon, we have a funeral of a gentleman
0:08:15 > 0:08:16and he was very keen on tractors.
0:08:16 > 0:08:18He had quite a large tractor collection,
0:08:18 > 0:08:21so we are using one of his tractor and a trailer
0:08:21 > 0:08:26to convey him to the church, going past some of the land that he owned.
0:08:26 > 0:08:30And also with some of the vintage tractors from fellow members
0:08:30 > 0:08:32of the tractor club that he was part of.
0:08:32 > 0:08:35I hope he would be very pleased if he were looking down on us.
0:08:40 > 0:08:43And we went past Mr Richards' old farmland
0:08:43 > 0:08:47and the sun came out for us. It had been raining all morning, but it was
0:08:47 > 0:08:49beautiful, the sun shone, so that went really well.
0:08:49 > 0:08:51The family were very happy.
0:09:01 > 0:09:03It took a little bit longer than we anticipated,
0:09:03 > 0:09:05but everything is fine now. We are at the church.
0:09:05 > 0:09:07The church is absolutely packed,
0:09:07 > 0:09:09so I can't even get there myself really.
0:09:09 > 0:09:11I've let people get in to the back of the church
0:09:11 > 0:09:13and they are filling the aisle.
0:09:13 > 0:09:16There is a small step as you come into the porch, OK?
0:09:16 > 0:09:19It is always a little bit stressful if you are watching the clock
0:09:19 > 0:09:20and just to check everything is OK,
0:09:20 > 0:09:23but at least with the service being the church and the churchyard,
0:09:23 > 0:09:26we don't need to worry about getting to a crematorium or anything like
0:09:26 > 0:09:30that, so it is fine now. We are here now and everything will be fine.
0:09:33 > 0:09:36I think the fact that so many people have turned up in their tractors
0:09:36 > 0:09:40for the procession and also turned up in numbers to attend
0:09:40 > 0:09:43in the church, and really fill the church out just shows how popular
0:09:43 > 0:09:46Mr Richards was. And it is unusual to have a funeral of this
0:09:46 > 0:09:50size for somebody who is later on in life, shall we say,
0:09:50 > 0:09:51got to a great age,
0:09:51 > 0:09:54so it is lovely to see all these people here for him.
0:10:00 > 0:10:04Gareth Jenkins' funeral home is in a residential area
0:10:04 > 0:10:06on the outskirts of Port Talbot
0:10:06 > 0:10:10and his neighbours have never had any problem with his family's work.
0:10:11 > 0:10:14Now he has got a plan to turn his own back garden
0:10:14 > 0:10:17into a place of remembrance for his clients,
0:10:17 > 0:10:21removing an old overgrown hedge to build a new memorial garden.
0:10:22 > 0:10:26We'd noticed they'd just turn to the window
0:10:26 > 0:10:29and they are looking out, so we thought we would open up
0:10:29 > 0:10:34the garden and maybe have an Italian fountain, something calming.
0:10:37 > 0:10:39Obviously, because of the noise,
0:10:39 > 0:10:44this can't take place during office hours. So, unfortunately,
0:10:44 > 0:10:48I have to pay double time on a Sunday to get this done.
0:10:50 > 0:10:53So that come tomorrow morning, it will be more the quiet work
0:10:53 > 0:10:55of just planting and so forth,
0:10:55 > 0:10:57but we will get the noisy stuff over now.
0:10:59 > 0:11:01Timber!
0:11:01 > 0:11:03My poor lawn!
0:11:03 > 0:11:06All those years of cultivating this lawn and...
0:11:08 > 0:11:11Never mind, next spring it will be right...
0:11:11 > 0:11:13I hope.
0:11:14 > 0:11:15And by the following spring,
0:11:15 > 0:11:19the Baglan memorial garden is certainly taking shape
0:11:19 > 0:11:22and Gareth is shopping for some new ornaments.
0:11:22 > 0:11:26We're having some sort of... They're like Roman urns
0:11:26 > 0:11:29and we are going to have a fountain as well, and then they are going
0:11:29 > 0:11:35to be mood lit-mood lit. I will say that again. Mood lit in the evening,
0:11:35 > 0:11:40so I am dealing with this company that seem to have everything I want.
0:11:40 > 0:11:44I'm going to ask the others but it is my choice in the end.
0:11:44 > 0:11:47Now, I don't think that would be appropriate. Is that...?
0:11:47 > 0:11:50Oh, that is Pan, yeah, I thought it was the devil then for a minute.
0:11:53 > 0:11:57The people who conduct funeral services in Wales are changing.
0:11:57 > 0:12:00More families are choosing non-religious ceremonies,
0:12:00 > 0:12:03often led by funeral celebrants like Helen Williams.
0:12:03 > 0:12:06She took a rather unusual road to her calling.
0:12:06 > 0:12:10I was a power lifter. I was actually world champion
0:12:10 > 0:12:13and I held the world squat record for quite a long time.
0:12:13 > 0:12:16I squatted 200 kilos - that is a lot of weight.
0:12:16 > 0:12:20I suppose, in some ways, the powerlifting has prepared me
0:12:20 > 0:12:21for this in a strange way.
0:12:21 > 0:12:24I mean, you are carrying literally the weight of the weights
0:12:24 > 0:12:26on your back there, but you're carrying the weight
0:12:26 > 0:12:29of responsibility and you've got to get it right.
0:12:30 > 0:12:33Many people worry that they come out of a funeral saying,
0:12:33 > 0:12:36"Well, that could've been anybody's funeral. That...
0:12:36 > 0:12:39"You know, I didn't really learn anything about the person.
0:12:39 > 0:12:41"I didn't feel as though I was reflecting on the person."
0:12:41 > 0:12:46And, of course, that is core to my ceremony, getting to know the family
0:12:46 > 0:12:48and the person, the departed.
0:12:48 > 0:12:51- Hello, Ellie.- Yes.- Hi, I'm Helen. - How do you do?
0:12:51 > 0:12:53- Thank you.- Come in. - Thank you very much.
0:12:53 > 0:12:56I come away feeling as though I knew the person
0:12:56 > 0:12:58and then writing this tribute to them,
0:12:58 > 0:13:01and then I will write the ceremony around that tribute,
0:13:01 > 0:13:05so every part of that ceremony is related to that person.
0:13:07 > 0:13:10Today, Helen has come to arrange a tribute with Ellie,
0:13:10 > 0:13:13who recently lost her husband James,
0:13:13 > 0:13:16known by most people as Jimmy the Bees.
0:13:18 > 0:13:20Ellie, thank you very much for inviting me
0:13:20 > 0:13:25to do this ceremony for you. It must be a really tough time for you.
0:13:25 > 0:13:27Do you refer to him as James or Jimmy?
0:13:27 > 0:13:30You can just go back and forth between James and Jimmy.
0:13:30 > 0:13:34It helps people to talk about their departed, their loved ones.
0:13:34 > 0:13:38I am absolutely positive it helps cos that is all you want to do.
0:13:38 > 0:13:40You want to have someone who will sit and listen.
0:13:40 > 0:13:44I didn't think anybody could be so ill as he was.
0:13:44 > 0:13:48It is emotionally draining but it is so rewarding in the long-term.
0:13:49 > 0:13:52Wow. You have had a really, really, really tough few months.
0:13:52 > 0:13:54I suppose my job in this,
0:13:54 > 0:13:58if possible, is try and do the best for you and with you,
0:13:58 > 0:14:02so together we will try and create a ceremony and it will be...
0:14:02 > 0:14:04- Are you OK?- Thank you, Helen.
0:14:04 > 0:14:09It will be just around James, and around Jimmy, and it will be
0:14:09 > 0:14:14trying to bring to mind what was important about him for you.
0:14:14 > 0:14:17She has good ideas of what she wants to do.
0:14:17 > 0:14:20I think it's going to make a really beautiful funeral, to be honest.
0:14:23 > 0:14:27Conducting the funeral of Jimmy the Bees will be Hefin Williams,
0:14:27 > 0:14:29a young funeral director from the Gwendraeth Valley.
0:14:33 > 0:14:36But today, he has a more traditional funeral to arrange.
0:14:36 > 0:14:40However, a childhood fear may get in the way.
0:14:40 > 0:14:44We've got a horse and carriage, that was the gentleman's wishes.
0:14:44 > 0:14:47He was a JCB driver. There are a lot of flowers.
0:14:47 > 0:14:49Nice to see the old traditional funeral.
0:14:51 > 0:14:53I am not a big lover of animals at all, to be honest with you,
0:14:53 > 0:14:56but I did have two horses when I was a little boy.
0:14:56 > 0:15:00But cos I didn't like them so much, my parents had to get rid of them.
0:15:00 > 0:15:03We all know what is happening in February, it is Valentine's,
0:15:03 > 0:15:06and there are red roses. The casket is there, full of red roses,
0:15:06 > 0:15:09so unfortunately it is double the price for the flowers.
0:15:09 > 0:15:10I never wear my hat.
0:15:12 > 0:15:14- Pull it down towards you, right? - HE LAUGHS
0:15:18 > 0:15:20It is a very frosty and cold morning,
0:15:20 > 0:15:23so it's going to be a bit cold on top of the carriage.
0:15:37 > 0:15:41Across Wales, the traditional horse-drawn hearse is again
0:15:41 > 0:15:43becoming more popular.
0:15:46 > 0:15:49Although more expensive than the standard hearse,
0:15:49 > 0:15:53families are choosing style and splendour over cost.
0:16:03 > 0:16:06In Gareth Jenkins' funeral home in Baglan,
0:16:06 > 0:16:09preparations are underway to get Margaret Davies ready
0:16:09 > 0:16:12for her family to visit her for the very last time.
0:16:18 > 0:16:20Christine Jenkins, Gareth's wife,
0:16:20 > 0:16:24has become an expert in making the deceased look their very best.
0:16:27 > 0:16:30The family have given me a watch
0:16:30 > 0:16:35and have spoken to Christine about where they want everything.
0:16:35 > 0:16:37It's just small things but it means a lot to them
0:16:37 > 0:16:39when they come to see them.
0:16:39 > 0:16:42I usually prefer them, if they wish,
0:16:42 > 0:16:45for them to be wearing their own clothes,
0:16:45 > 0:16:47so they look like their old selves.
0:16:50 > 0:16:53So now I leave it to my wife Christine just to dress her.
0:16:53 > 0:16:55We think it's nice that ladies dress ladies
0:16:55 > 0:16:59and gents dress gents, and then I shall come back afterwards,
0:16:59 > 0:17:03just to help her finish off things, with shoes and things.
0:17:14 > 0:17:16This is Craig Perfect, my partner.
0:17:16 > 0:17:21My partner, I may add, in the funeral home, not in life.
0:17:21 > 0:17:25And he is looking a bit flustered because he is dashing out
0:17:25 > 0:17:28for his first of three this morning, I believe,
0:17:28 > 0:17:30so I've got to leave him go.
0:17:30 > 0:17:33- I'll see you later. - Ta-ta, bye-bye.- Ta-ta.
0:17:33 > 0:17:37You do have to relax and you do... That is why you do have to,
0:17:37 > 0:17:40it is essential to have a good sense of humour as well.
0:17:40 > 0:17:43And we are like a support team for each other.
0:17:45 > 0:17:49We get stressed out as well, but we try not to show it to anybody else
0:17:49 > 0:17:53because what we are going through is nothing compared to what
0:17:53 > 0:17:56the family are going through, and that's what we've got to remember.
0:17:59 > 0:18:03It is so important that the last memory they have of somebody
0:18:03 > 0:18:05is a pleasant one
0:18:05 > 0:18:09and any little thing that we can do to make that time special...
0:18:11 > 0:18:12..we have to do.
0:18:15 > 0:18:16We usually ask them,
0:18:16 > 0:18:19"Would you prefer to see them with their glasses?" Cos that is the way
0:18:19 > 0:18:24they are used to seeing them, so very often, we often put glasses on.
0:18:24 > 0:18:25If it is a cremation, mind,
0:18:25 > 0:18:29we do have to remove them prior to going to the crematorium.
0:18:32 > 0:18:35Everything is ready now with the coffin in.
0:18:35 > 0:18:39Then we will phone the family up and tell them
0:18:39 > 0:18:41that their mother is available for viewing, so I'm sure
0:18:41 > 0:18:44they will be pleased because they are pretty anxious to see her.
0:18:44 > 0:18:46I advised them not to go to the hospital to see them
0:18:46 > 0:18:48and when they come to see her now
0:18:48 > 0:18:50in the coffin, in a nice environment,
0:18:50 > 0:18:52I'm sure it will be a lot nicer than the hospital.
0:18:55 > 0:18:56My mother and father,
0:18:56 > 0:18:59they were both seriously ill before they passed away.
0:18:59 > 0:19:04And I said my goodbyes to her and, although my mother
0:19:04 > 0:19:06and father were resting here,
0:19:06 > 0:19:08I didn't feel the need to see them.
0:19:08 > 0:19:10Personally, I said my goodbyes then.
0:19:10 > 0:19:14But, like I said, it is a totally individual thing to think about.
0:19:16 > 0:19:18- Hello.- All right?- OK?
0:19:18 > 0:19:20It is always worrying moment
0:19:20 > 0:19:23when the family come here to see her dressed.
0:19:23 > 0:19:24If you go down to the lounge.
0:19:24 > 0:19:28You are wondering, "Is she going to look like they expected?"
0:19:28 > 0:19:30I'm going to take you in to see your mother now
0:19:30 > 0:19:34and then there is a bell here, and you take as long as you like
0:19:34 > 0:19:37and then you give me a ring if there's anything you need. OK?
0:19:38 > 0:19:42There is always that emotional first time they see her dressed
0:19:42 > 0:19:46because they might not have seen her now since she passed away.
0:19:46 > 0:19:47WOMAN SOBS
0:19:49 > 0:19:51Just ring the bell if you need me.
0:20:01 > 0:20:05And we'll ask them afterwards if they want a tea or coffee
0:20:05 > 0:20:09cos we're very conscious that they're so upset in there
0:20:09 > 0:20:11that they jump in the car, they're not thinking
0:20:11 > 0:20:15and we're very aware that they might just drive out there, not actually
0:20:15 > 0:20:19concentrating as well, so we just make sure everything is all right.
0:20:22 > 0:20:23OK?
0:20:23 > 0:20:26'On the day of the funeral, if somebody has been here
0:20:26 > 0:20:29'and they've seen their loved ones in the coffin,
0:20:29 > 0:20:33'on the day of the funeral, that certainly helps.'
0:20:33 > 0:20:37- Just give me a ring if there's anything before Tuesday. OK?- Lovely.
0:20:38 > 0:20:42- There you are.- Thank you. - I'll just come out with you now.- OK.
0:20:45 > 0:20:49Traditions are very important in the funeral business,
0:20:49 > 0:20:52even down to an end-of-week ritual.
0:20:52 > 0:20:55We just tend to, on a Friday, enjoy a little cake together.
0:20:57 > 0:21:00We take it in turns to buy them, of course.
0:21:00 > 0:21:02As you can see, I don't eat them.
0:21:04 > 0:21:05I do!
0:21:09 > 0:21:14In the Gwendraeth Valley, it's the day of Jimmy the Bees' funeral.
0:21:18 > 0:21:20We've got the funeral today of James the Bee,
0:21:20 > 0:21:21as they call him,
0:21:21 > 0:21:25so the family's given me a list of stuff they want to put in there
0:21:25 > 0:21:29with James. So...as you can see, there's a little box here.
0:21:29 > 0:21:32He actually died a day before his birthday,
0:21:32 > 0:21:38so the family and friends have given some birthday cards, two RAF ties
0:21:38 > 0:21:39and, because he was a beekeeper,
0:21:39 > 0:21:42there's a little plastic pot of honey
0:21:42 > 0:21:45and a queen bee.
0:21:45 > 0:21:47This is the first time, actually,
0:21:47 > 0:21:50I've put a queen bee and a pot of honey in, so it's a nice touch
0:21:50 > 0:21:54because he was a beekeeper, so a very nice touch from the family.
0:21:54 > 0:21:58With a burial, you can put anything in, but with a cremation,
0:21:58 > 0:22:00it's more difficult what we can put in.
0:22:00 > 0:22:04Also I've got a list of things to put on top of the coffin,
0:22:04 > 0:22:07so the family friend has done a bee
0:22:07 > 0:22:11and there's a beekeeper's smoker.
0:22:11 > 0:22:13Never seen one in my life, so when we arrive
0:22:13 > 0:22:16at the crematorium, we'll have to place that on top of the coffin.
0:22:19 > 0:22:21I've never done a funeral before with a celebrant,
0:22:21 > 0:22:23so it'll be the first time for me.
0:22:23 > 0:22:26So I know she's been very helpful with the family
0:22:26 > 0:22:28and doing it very personal, as the family want.
0:22:41 > 0:22:44'What Ellie's looking for in this funeral, I'm sure,
0:22:44 > 0:22:46'she wants the emotion.
0:22:46 > 0:22:50'Yeah, she wants to celebrate his life, but it's his funeral.
0:22:50 > 0:22:53'She wants to have permission to weep if she needs to weep.
0:22:53 > 0:22:56'She wants to feel close to the people with her and she wants it,
0:22:56 > 0:23:01'I think, to be a vehicle through which everyone can be together
0:23:01 > 0:23:06'and be strong together, and really focus on and remember James.'
0:23:06 > 0:23:09Ellie has asked me to thank you for coming here today to honour
0:23:09 > 0:23:13the life of James Jimmy the Bees Horne.
0:23:14 > 0:23:17'I'm not religious myself, I was brought up Catholic,
0:23:17 > 0:23:19'but I'm very much lapsed from that,
0:23:19 > 0:23:23'but obviously it influences how I think and I wouldn't try
0:23:23 > 0:23:27'and put any of my thoughts out to any of the families I deal with.
0:23:27 > 0:23:31'I would simply absorb what they believe and what they reflect,
0:23:31 > 0:23:33'and use that in the ceremony.'
0:23:33 > 0:23:39It's now time to say a final goodbye to James Joseph Horne.
0:23:39 > 0:23:43# I have a dream
0:23:43 > 0:23:48# A song to sing
0:23:48 > 0:23:52# To help me cope
0:23:52 > 0:23:56# With anything... #
0:23:57 > 0:24:01I thought Helen was excellent and the family was very happy
0:24:01 > 0:24:05with the service, so it was very respectful and the way
0:24:05 > 0:24:09they wanted it, so personal as they wanted it.
0:24:09 > 0:24:15# ..future even if you fail... #
0:24:19 > 0:24:22In Baglan, Margaret Davies has been taken by Gareth
0:24:22 > 0:24:24to be buried in Cymmer Cemetery.
0:24:27 > 0:24:30And for all funeral directors, time is of the essence.
0:24:33 > 0:24:38My trusty grandfather's watch. It just looks better, doesn't it?
0:24:44 > 0:24:47Fortunately, the weather is very nice this morning.
0:24:47 > 0:24:49When I say nice, it's very cold but we've had no snow,
0:24:49 > 0:24:50we've had no frost.
0:24:56 > 0:24:58It's about 14 miles up the valley,
0:24:58 > 0:25:00so we've got to allow a little bit for traffic.
0:25:00 > 0:25:05It's not a particularly busy road, so we should be fine.
0:25:05 > 0:25:08We usually allow about ten minutes leeway each way
0:25:08 > 0:25:12and then we can either speed up or slow down.
0:25:16 > 0:25:19In a cemetery, it's not so rushed.
0:25:19 > 0:25:21It doesn't matter if we go over five, ten minutes.
0:25:21 > 0:25:24It doesn't matter if we're early five or ten minutes.
0:25:24 > 0:25:27It's not so crucial with the timing this morning.
0:25:33 > 0:25:36Years ago, it was never a problem singing hymns,
0:25:36 > 0:25:38but not so many people go to chapel now
0:25:38 > 0:25:41and it was very traditional for us to sing hymns. And you could
0:25:41 > 0:25:46always rely on all the congregation singing, but now it's changed.
0:25:46 > 0:25:51# On a hill far away... #
0:25:51 > 0:25:54Sometimes I'm there and I've got to sing on my own.
0:25:54 > 0:25:57I don't mind doing that as long as it's in my key.
0:25:57 > 0:25:59# ..emblem of suffering... #
0:25:59 > 0:26:04I generally, to be honest, much to the annoyance of the hearse driver,
0:26:04 > 0:26:09I'll have a little warm-up in the car on the way.
0:26:09 > 0:26:13# And exchange it some day
0:26:13 > 0:26:17# For a crown. #
0:26:18 > 0:26:20'Because everyone there personally knows me,
0:26:20 > 0:26:23'the older ones have known me since I was a child.
0:26:23 > 0:26:29'The younger ones, you know, I've grown up with, they are perhaps
0:26:29 > 0:26:31'a little bit more critical because they know me well enough.
0:26:31 > 0:26:36'If something was to go a little bit awry, say,
0:26:36 > 0:26:38'they will come up and tell me.'
0:26:38 > 0:26:45- Resurrection to eternal life through Christ our Lord. Amen.- Amen.
0:26:45 > 0:26:47Everything went well.
0:26:47 > 0:26:51I did pitch the hymn wrong, so I couldn't reach the high notes.
0:26:51 > 0:26:54There were some people singing next to me too high
0:26:54 > 0:26:57and I couldn't get there but, no, the funeral went very well.
0:26:57 > 0:27:00The problem is now that, because of the snow
0:27:00 > 0:27:05and the ice that we had previously, the cars are covered in salt
0:27:05 > 0:27:08cos they've been salting the roads and they're completely white.
0:27:08 > 0:27:11I can't possibly go to my next funeral now with the cars
0:27:11 > 0:27:14looking like that, so it's rushing down the valley now,
0:27:14 > 0:27:16and a quick wash and polish.
0:27:19 > 0:27:24After six months of preparation, it's a special and very personal day
0:27:24 > 0:27:28for Gareth as his memorial garden is about to be officially opened.
0:27:28 > 0:27:30May this place be a comfort to the living
0:27:30 > 0:27:33and a prayerful sign of their hope for an end in life.
0:27:34 > 0:27:38So I now declare this garden open.
0:27:39 > 0:27:41Hooray!
0:27:46 > 0:27:50'Although my grandmother has passed away a while now, she didn't want
0:27:50 > 0:27:53'to get buried and I didn't know really what to do with the ashes.
0:27:53 > 0:27:56'Whereas I advise people that they must make a decision
0:27:56 > 0:27:59'fairly soon, I haven't done so myself
0:27:59 > 0:28:03'and my sister didn't know exactly what to do, or my wife Christine,
0:28:03 > 0:28:07'but we thought since we built this memorial garden, it would be fitting
0:28:07 > 0:28:09'that my grandmother rests here,
0:28:09 > 0:28:12'so it's nice today that we're doing it.'
0:28:12 > 0:28:16I think we're all, as a family, greatly relieved that she is resting
0:28:16 > 0:28:19somewhere nice, and I'd like to thank the vicar
0:28:19 > 0:28:21and all her staff for being a part of today.
0:28:21 > 0:28:23Thanks very much.
0:28:23 > 0:28:24Hooray!
0:28:24 > 0:28:26To Nellie.
0:28:26 > 0:28:27THEY TOAST