0:00:02 > 0:00:06MUSIC: "He Ain't Heavy, He's My Brother" by The Hollies
0:00:10 > 0:00:17# The road is long
0:00:17 > 0:00:23# With many a winding turn
0:00:23 > 0:00:24# That leads us... #
0:00:24 > 0:00:3013 years ago, the BBC set out on an ambitious project.
0:00:30 > 0:00:33To follow the lives of 25 children
0:00:33 > 0:00:37after their birth at the millennium.
0:00:37 > 0:00:41# But I'm strong... #
0:00:42 > 0:00:48And in the process, we've captured ordinary family life in 21st-century Britain.
0:00:49 > 0:00:52Our cameras have been in their homes,
0:00:52 > 0:00:55from towns and villages,
0:00:55 > 0:00:59to inner cities,
0:00:59 > 0:01:01and rural countryside,
0:01:01 > 0:01:06revealing the ups and downs life has thrown at them.
0:01:06 > 0:01:08I never guessed she would die.
0:01:08 > 0:01:11But I can remember quite clearly the afternoon in which I found out.
0:01:16 > 0:01:21I think I was ten. And my dad had an affair.
0:01:23 > 0:01:27I'm glad they're growing up to be nice young ladies
0:01:27 > 0:01:29and I love them to bits.
0:01:31 > 0:01:33We've seen our families change.
0:01:33 > 0:01:37Now, Child Of Our Time is growing up.
0:01:37 > 0:01:42Our children are ready to share their thoughts and feelings as they hit their teenage years.
0:01:42 > 0:01:45# He ain't heavy
0:01:46 > 0:01:50# He's my brother. #
0:01:50 > 0:01:5412 is like being in the middle of being a teenager and being a kid.
0:01:54 > 0:01:58You're an in-between age, so you kind of feel different from others.
0:01:58 > 0:02:03Every day should be an ice-cream day when you're 12, because your body can take it.
0:02:03 > 0:02:06Shallow people are going to be best friends with you for a piece of gum.
0:02:06 > 0:02:10Everyone's obsessed with chewing gum at 12.
0:02:13 > 0:02:17She used to love pink and fairies and things like that,
0:02:17 > 0:02:19but that's now gone.
0:02:20 > 0:02:24She is good at doing that teenage focusing out the rest of the world,
0:02:24 > 0:02:29where they don't see anything apart from what's immediately in front of them on a screen!
0:02:29 > 0:02:35- Bossy, would you say? - But there again, she's 12, she's experimenting with...
0:02:35 > 0:02:39Yeah, but she bosses you around an awful lot, and me!
0:02:39 > 0:02:43# He ain't heavy... #
0:03:04 > 0:03:06Tonight, we'll see our children
0:03:06 > 0:03:10preparing for the greatest change in their lives
0:03:10 > 0:03:12and how their parents will need to let them go
0:03:12 > 0:03:14to grow as adults.
0:03:16 > 0:03:20He's not a grown-up yet, so he struggles to say
0:03:20 > 0:03:22what he is feeling.
0:03:22 > 0:03:27If you say to them one day, "How are you feeling?" "I don't know."
0:03:27 > 0:03:30Another time, all this stuff will come out.
0:03:30 > 0:03:35It's quite scary, actually, seeing myself get older, you know.
0:03:35 > 0:03:41I don't know, it's just... How could I have been so small and I can be so tall now?
0:03:41 > 0:03:43It's a bit confusing, you know.
0:03:44 > 0:03:47Like any growing-up young girl,
0:03:47 > 0:03:50every single young girl is a massive flaming problem.
0:03:50 > 0:03:53And so there's that! It's there.
0:03:53 > 0:03:57You know, she's growing up and she's got to move on into life.
0:03:57 > 0:04:01And those are very difficult, brave decisions on how you guide a young person through that.
0:04:04 > 0:04:09Helena was the first of our children to be born, when her mother, Jeanette,
0:04:09 > 0:04:13pregnant with triplets, went into premature labour.
0:04:16 > 0:04:17I'm just checking...
0:04:17 > 0:04:20He's head down at the moment. Head here.
0:04:20 > 0:04:22'I remember being in hospital, in Cheltenham.'
0:04:22 > 0:04:28It was four o'clock in the morning and my waters broke at 22 weeks.
0:04:28 > 0:04:33And then the doctor having a look and he could see the baby's hand.
0:04:33 > 0:04:37What I didn't realise was the exceptional complications
0:04:37 > 0:04:41going through full-term with triplets.
0:04:41 > 0:04:46And there were two girls and a boy, and it just went wrong.
0:04:49 > 0:04:55Born three and a half months early, the first two babies, Barry and Millie, died.
0:05:04 > 0:05:08Helena survived, barely clinging on to life.
0:05:10 > 0:05:14You didn't know when the phone was going to go and say, "Your child's dying."
0:05:14 > 0:05:18It was like that. That's how near it was. And you were warned about this.
0:05:18 > 0:05:23We don't know the hour, the moment or the day when something's going to go right or wrong.
0:05:35 > 0:05:38You spend hours and hours looking at your little baby
0:05:38 > 0:05:41and willing them to survive.
0:05:41 > 0:05:46I remember going in one day, and the piece of skin between her nose and her mouth had started to grow.
0:05:46 > 0:05:51I could see that it was a bit of distance there. "She's growing! Her eyes are opening!"
0:05:51 > 0:05:55This sort of thing. All the very, very tiny, little benchmarks.
0:06:00 > 0:06:06But after several weeks of intensive care, Helena's condition suddenly deteriorated.
0:06:08 > 0:06:12I remember saying to a technician, "What are you scanning her for?"
0:06:12 > 0:06:18And they said, "We're just looking to see what's going on in her heart, it's blocked."
0:06:19 > 0:06:23And the world fell apart at that moment in time.
0:06:26 > 0:06:32Helena had a blood clot in her heart and other complications were setting in.
0:06:32 > 0:06:37She was getting worse. She'd got some problem where she was expanding with water.
0:06:37 > 0:06:40They said, "Right, your daughter's really ill.
0:06:40 > 0:06:44"Chances are she's going to be seriously handicapped. She'll never be right."
0:06:46 > 0:06:48Two days later, they're asking to turn her life support off.
0:06:48 > 0:06:51And my overwhelming memory is,
0:06:51 > 0:06:56"Why did I bury Millie and little Barry when Helena's going to die?"
0:07:01 > 0:07:05Jeanette and Barry were faced with their worst nightmare.
0:07:05 > 0:07:12Either ending Helena's life or letting her survive with the near certainty of permanent brain damage.
0:07:14 > 0:07:17We're stood in this room, next to her cot.
0:07:17 > 0:07:22And she's sedated and her eyes are watching us have this conversation.
0:07:22 > 0:07:28And as I looked at her, it showed me that she wanted to fight.
0:07:29 > 0:07:32And I just thought, "God, if she's got that much determination
0:07:32 > 0:07:38"then we need to just fight for everything you can do."
0:07:42 > 0:07:47You know that there is a bond, something that's quite extraordinary -
0:07:47 > 0:07:53a feeling, something happening - quite powerfully.
0:07:53 > 0:07:56Definitely, we weren't turning that child off.
0:07:56 > 0:08:00Not a cat in hell's chance. It wasn't going to happen.
0:08:00 > 0:08:05And they said, "All we can do is experiment." I said, "Let's go and experiment, then."
0:08:06 > 0:08:11They said, "We can give her a drug that, if it's a blood clot on her heart,
0:08:11 > 0:08:15"it may dissolve it, but it has never worked with babies before.
0:08:17 > 0:08:21"There's a one-in-a-million chance it will work. If it works, she's going to have a major handicap."
0:08:21 > 0:08:27But you don't care at that point. You take what's being offered, because you want your baby to live.
0:08:34 > 0:08:38And, you know, she lived.
0:08:38 > 0:08:39And the drug worked.
0:08:41 > 0:08:4448 hours later, she was out of intensive care.
0:08:45 > 0:08:50And she turned out to be a great fighter.
0:08:50 > 0:08:52And it was... Well, it was magic,
0:08:52 > 0:08:55how nobody expected her to live
0:08:55 > 0:08:58and, all of a sudden, she surprised everybody.
0:09:12 > 0:09:15Three months later, Helena was off life support
0:09:15 > 0:09:18and able to go home.
0:09:18 > 0:09:22- HELENA GIVES A TINY CRY - And you like it, don't you? Eh?
0:09:29 > 0:09:32Keep going! Whey!
0:09:32 > 0:09:34Arabesque!
0:09:34 > 0:09:35Roll!
0:09:35 > 0:09:37Jump! Jump! Jump!
0:09:37 > 0:09:39Turn!
0:09:39 > 0:09:43# Downtown girl The sun is shining! #
0:09:47 > 0:09:49Let there be cake!
0:09:50 > 0:09:52Oh, well done, Helena!
0:09:52 > 0:09:57Helena's story is a story of survival, survival against the odds, there's no doubt about that.
0:09:57 > 0:10:01But, equally, Helena can't live with that label for the rest of her life.
0:10:01 > 0:10:05Helena has to get on with a normal teenage life.
0:10:05 > 0:10:10We struggle to do that sometimes, cos we wrap her up in cotton wool, cos she's so special to us.
0:10:11 > 0:10:16In September 2012, Helena became a teenager.
0:10:16 > 0:10:21Mum and Dad are now divorced, but Barry is still a full-time dad.
0:10:21 > 0:10:24- Anybody home?- Yeah, I'm here.
0:10:24 > 0:10:26- POSH:- Oh, hello!- Hello.
0:10:26 > 0:10:28I'm so pleased you got your hair back to its curly self.
0:10:29 > 0:10:34'It's always been her ambition to be a journalist of some sort.'
0:10:34 > 0:10:38And she watches journalists and she reads a tremendous amount.
0:10:38 > 0:10:43If I do end up being a journalist, I don't want to be one of those annoying ones in David...
0:10:43 > 0:10:47like, waits outside Number 10 for ages.
0:10:47 > 0:10:50No offence to people who actually do that.
0:10:51 > 0:10:55I write fan fiction.
0:10:55 > 0:10:57I'm obsessed with it.
0:10:57 > 0:11:02It's usually sad things, cos sad things are easier to write about, let's face it.
0:11:02 > 0:11:04Cos otherwise, it's a flipping fairy tale.
0:11:04 > 0:11:07I don't want to write fairy tales!
0:11:07 > 0:11:10They're too flipping... You know what happens!
0:11:10 > 0:11:14A beautiful girl is treated badly and then loads of crap happens.
0:11:14 > 0:11:18And then she marries someone at, like, 16.
0:11:18 > 0:11:22What's with THAT?!
0:11:24 > 0:11:29She's a child that was made for the 21st century.
0:11:29 > 0:11:32She was made by technology.
0:11:32 > 0:11:35She was saved by technology and she loves technology.
0:11:37 > 0:11:42As long as she's still got her mobile phone, her computer and her iPod,
0:11:42 > 0:11:44she will be happy, I'm sure.
0:11:58 > 0:12:00SIREN BLARES
0:12:01 > 0:12:05After Helena's birth in September 1999,
0:12:05 > 0:12:10the rest of our children on Child Of Our Time were born over the millennium.
0:12:12 > 0:12:15- MAN:- Oh! Come, my little baby.
0:12:15 > 0:12:17WOMAN: Cutie!
0:12:22 > 0:12:26It's sort of like, "Yippee! Let's have children! Now what do I do?"
0:12:27 > 0:12:30I remember the first night we brought her home, it was freezing cold.
0:12:30 > 0:12:33Oh! Putting her in the car!
0:12:33 > 0:12:38"Oh, there's a car 200 yards away! I'm slowing down. I'm pulling up. Don't come any closer!"
0:12:38 > 0:12:43People always say it's a magical time having you and your baby.
0:12:43 > 0:12:48- One of the saddest things you said was you never looked back on it with any great...- It was just a grind.
0:12:48 > 0:12:50I don't believe what he's just done!
0:12:50 > 0:12:54HE LAUGHS
0:12:56 > 0:12:59Ivo, that's very naughty.
0:13:07 > 0:13:09ALL: Whoo!
0:13:09 > 0:13:13That was the first proper two steps that she's actually took.
0:13:15 > 0:13:17Even in the first few years,
0:13:17 > 0:13:22the children's personalities had begun to take shape.
0:13:22 > 0:13:27Taliesin as a toddler liked the attention being on him
0:13:27 > 0:13:32and didn't like it if you had to do something else. One of his favourite tricks was unplugging the Hoover.
0:13:32 > 0:13:37And the first time it happened, I stripped the Hoover apart,
0:13:37 > 0:13:41because there was no way the plug could have just fallen out the wall.
0:13:41 > 0:13:47And it happened again. And this time, I just saw two little feet crawling off into the front room
0:13:47 > 0:13:53and realised that he'd come and unplugged it, and then crawled off, acting all innocent.
0:13:53 > 0:13:54You monkey!
0:13:54 > 0:13:59So, yeah, he was a practical joker from birth, basically, I think.
0:13:59 > 0:14:05When Parys was younger, I relied a lot on voice.
0:14:05 > 0:14:08Wait for Mama. Stay there. Hold the door for me.
0:14:08 > 0:14:09Good boy.
0:14:09 > 0:14:13Like when he got out of the car. He knew that I couldn't...
0:14:13 > 0:14:16You see mums clinging on to the child for dear life,
0:14:16 > 0:14:20cos they're so frightened he's going to go across the road. Parys didn't do that.
0:14:21 > 0:14:23Good boy. Parys...
0:14:25 > 0:14:30Good boy. Right, you be very careful because there's cars, OK?
0:14:30 > 0:14:34Hold on to Mama. Good boy! Good boy! Hold on to Mama.
0:14:34 > 0:14:37Right, now, you stay here. Bit more! Bit more!
0:14:37 > 0:14:41Bit more. Stay there, stay there! Now stay there, please. Please stay there.
0:14:41 > 0:14:46'When I said, "Stay with me," he stayed. He just knew.
0:14:46 > 0:14:50'So, he relied on me verbally, rather than physically.'
0:14:50 > 0:14:54You're being such a clever boy. Come here! Good boy. That's it.
0:14:54 > 0:14:58She put trust into me to listen to her.
0:14:58 > 0:15:01I couldn't just, like, ignore her,
0:15:01 > 0:15:04cos she couldn't, like, physically pick me up and move me,
0:15:04 > 0:15:09or, like, grab me to take me somewhere. I'd have to always listen to her, which I would.
0:15:11 > 0:15:15WHISTLING AND APPLAUSE
0:15:15 > 0:15:19Alison Lapper found fame as an artist.
0:15:19 > 0:15:26In 2005, a cast of her body was placed on a plinth in Trafalgar Square in London.
0:15:26 > 0:15:29CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS
0:15:31 > 0:15:37Alison took Parys almost everywhere she went and the two developed the strongest bond.
0:15:39 > 0:15:44- Where are we going?- We're going to the Eiffel Tower, babes.
0:15:44 > 0:15:45And me?
0:15:45 > 0:15:49Oh, absolutely! Of course and you! Where do I go without you?
0:15:52 > 0:15:55He's travelled a lot for someone so young.
0:15:55 > 0:15:58But I like him being around!
0:15:58 > 0:16:01I like being with him. I enjoy him.
0:16:01 > 0:16:03He IS my world.
0:16:03 > 0:16:06You know, he is so important to me.
0:16:06 > 0:16:08Mwah! You're such a brave boy being up here.
0:16:10 > 0:16:16It's great having a famous mum but, the down side is, she always talks to everybody who comes past.
0:16:16 > 0:16:20- Nice to meet you. It's so great to meet you.- Thank you, and you.
0:16:20 > 0:16:24For example, when we went to Korea.
0:16:24 > 0:16:28For some weird reason, we were really big over there.
0:16:28 > 0:16:31So, everywhere we went, we felt like Tom Cruise.
0:16:32 > 0:16:36And it got annoying, because we couldn't do anything we wanted
0:16:36 > 0:16:39without having, like, 25 people following us with cameras.
0:16:46 > 0:16:51It's not only Alison's fame which has meant that they are constantly surrounded by people.
0:16:51 > 0:16:56Since Parys was born, they've had her carer living with them.
0:16:56 > 0:17:00'There are people in mine and Parys' lives 24/7.'
0:17:00 > 0:17:03It's got its good qualities and bad qualities.
0:17:03 > 0:17:09For example, good qualities if you want some food or a cup of tea,
0:17:09 > 0:17:12then they'd kindly make it for you.
0:17:12 > 0:17:14But the bad thing is, if I just wanted to be with my mum,
0:17:14 > 0:17:17they'd always be around, don't have much privacy.
0:17:17 > 0:17:22Like, not have anybody else in the house apart from me and my mum. I can't do that.
0:17:29 > 0:17:33Every once in a while, my mum can say to the PA,
0:17:33 > 0:17:38"You can stay at home," and then me and my mum can just be out, me and her.
0:17:38 > 0:17:43We're going to go to the FrightFest. Yeah, we're going to do that Tuesday.
0:17:43 > 0:17:46'If we're out on our own...'
0:17:46 > 0:17:50He really... He loves that.
0:17:50 > 0:17:53It's less invading. Like, you can just...
0:17:53 > 0:17:58It's just time with you and your mum. You don't have someone following you all the time.
0:18:02 > 0:18:07- ..Oh, yeah.- Because I need to book it for everybody, yeah.
0:18:08 > 0:18:12But these precious moments together are now coming to an end,
0:18:12 > 0:18:16as Parys reaches his teens.
0:18:16 > 0:18:19I look at him and my baby is gone.
0:18:19 > 0:18:22'And I can see glimpses of the man
0:18:22 > 0:18:26'that he's going to look like coming through.'
0:18:26 > 0:18:31- Mum.- Yeah!- Do you like any of these scarves?- Let's have a look!
0:18:31 > 0:18:37'The way he walks, the way he carries himself, little bit different.
0:18:37 > 0:18:42'And as he grows, we change and our relationship changes
0:18:42 > 0:18:46'and, definitely, he is stepping back.'
0:18:46 > 0:18:50Would that definitely go with the poncho?
0:18:50 > 0:18:55'I hope that we'll always have a good relationship...'
0:18:55 > 0:18:58I've done my best
0:18:58 > 0:19:02and I hope I haven't... done too badly.
0:19:10 > 0:19:12Let's go!
0:19:22 > 0:19:28Ever since filming began, our parents have had different and changing careers.
0:19:29 > 0:19:31COW MOOS
0:19:33 > 0:19:38Only time will tell how this may influence what their children might do later on in life.
0:19:43 > 0:19:46When I grow up, I'd like to be some sort of doctor.
0:19:46 > 0:19:50When I grow up, I would like to be a doctor or a scientist.
0:19:50 > 0:19:55I hope to see myself doing something clever,
0:19:55 > 0:19:57or else be a YouTube gamer.
0:19:57 > 0:20:00I think it'll be something to do with sport,
0:20:00 > 0:20:03but I'm not sure which sport yet.
0:20:03 > 0:20:06I don't really know what I want to be when I'm older,
0:20:06 > 0:20:10but I know I'd like to have a job that I enjoy.
0:20:10 > 0:20:14My mum wanted me to be an astronaut when I was small,
0:20:14 > 0:20:18but she kind of knew that I don't think that's going to happen for me
0:20:18 > 0:20:21cos I am not so clever at science.
0:20:21 > 0:20:27I wanted to make her like astronaut and she's totally different girl.
0:20:30 > 0:20:34Het Shah lives with her family in north London.
0:20:36 > 0:20:40My first thing would be to be an actress,
0:20:40 > 0:20:46and then kind of slowly move on to my singing career and have my own, I guess, band and my album.
0:20:46 > 0:20:50And then have my own fashion line, so do fashion designing too.
0:20:50 > 0:20:57And have my own album alongside doing movies as well, so doing everything at a time.
0:20:57 > 0:21:01Up to now, Het was a little girl and whatever I was telling her, she was listening.
0:21:01 > 0:21:04As I say, she's a very easy girl.
0:21:04 > 0:21:08But now she's in secondary school, she got her own thinking.
0:21:08 > 0:21:13I probably will go US or LA to kind of follow my dreams.
0:21:13 > 0:21:19And sometimes I feel so powerful that I can do anything, I will do, cos I know I can achieve it.
0:21:25 > 0:21:26Kayla.
0:21:26 > 0:21:28Here, have a chunk of grass.
0:21:29 > 0:21:33If I do try and get a doctorate and get in the psychology thing that I really want to do,
0:21:33 > 0:21:37or photography or forensic science, singing, whatever!
0:21:37 > 0:21:41You know, I have loads of different things to fall back on.
0:21:41 > 0:21:47The only important things about the job is - one, I enjoy it, and two, it earns good money.
0:21:51 > 0:21:55Since she was very young, Rhianna has always understood the value of money.
0:22:00 > 0:22:03Sometimes we have been quite pressed for money,
0:22:03 > 0:22:04but I never liked being like that.
0:22:04 > 0:22:09When I was a little kid I'd go, "This is an own brand and this is not an own brand, this one's cheaper."
0:22:09 > 0:22:15'So, I knew from quite an early age about how much things costed
0:22:15 > 0:22:18'and what I can't get and can get.'
0:22:18 > 0:22:22- Let's go home now. - I just need some money.
0:22:22 > 0:22:27- No, you don't.- Well, you can pay for everything, then, with your great wad of money in your purse.
0:22:27 > 0:22:29- No.- Thanks.
0:22:29 > 0:22:30- Bye.- Bye-bye!
0:22:30 > 0:22:36The family's finances have often been tight. Andy has tried many different jobs.
0:22:36 > 0:22:39To be honest, you've always been a really, really good worker
0:22:39 > 0:22:41when you put your mind to it.
0:22:41 > 0:22:46- It's just that in the past, you got slightly distracted quite quickly.- Yeah.
0:22:50 > 0:22:54There are some things I've started and not seen through, yeah, I'll agree with that.
0:22:54 > 0:22:57Fishing, caged birds.
0:22:57 > 0:23:02- Mini-motorbikes, quads, go-karts. - The kitchen at Monk Fryston.
0:23:02 > 0:23:05- Off-road buggies. - The conservatory at Monk Fryston.
0:23:05 > 0:23:11- Buying and selling cars. - Once the novelty's gone, you're not interested any more.
0:23:11 > 0:23:14Ow! That's sharp!
0:23:14 > 0:23:15What colour do you want?
0:23:15 > 0:23:18You got it? You've got it.
0:23:18 > 0:23:21Smashing! Thank you very much.
0:23:21 > 0:23:24Andy even tried his hand as a market trader.
0:23:24 > 0:23:28Do you want one? Excellent. Take your pick.
0:23:28 > 0:23:34Some days you can have marvellous days and then, two or three weeks on the trot, nothing.
0:23:34 > 0:23:40Poor, poor as a church mouse, and then you're trying to...just live!
0:23:40 > 0:23:44'If there was work there, I'd do it. If there wasn't, fine.'
0:23:44 > 0:23:50There was no, "Oh, I'd better think about paying the mortgage in four months' time."
0:23:50 > 0:23:54Four months' time! Four days, I don't think I could even...
0:23:54 > 0:23:58Four hours I could cope with. Four days? Mm-mm. Four months?
0:23:58 > 0:24:01I would have thought you'd have just said, "Mortgage? What's a mortgage?"
0:24:01 > 0:24:04You know what I mean, never planned anything.
0:24:04 > 0:24:08Right, we need a withdrawal with receipt.
0:24:08 > 0:24:10'My mum's quite financially cautious.
0:24:10 > 0:24:13She's the one that worries about the finances.'
0:24:13 > 0:24:17She'll be the one that's going, "Oh, we can't. Maybe. Oh, no!" She'll be the one fretting.
0:24:17 > 0:24:20- I did get resentful cos you weren't pulling your weight.- Yeah.
0:24:20 > 0:24:27- Very resentful, in a very quiet and undermining way, I would guess.- Mm-hm.
0:24:27 > 0:24:31My dad will do whatever he wants, when he wants, in whatever he likes to wear,
0:24:31 > 0:24:34which tends to be his dressing gown on a morning, sat outside smoking.
0:24:34 > 0:24:36You just had moments where you were...
0:24:40 > 0:24:43- ..childish.- Yeah, quite possibly. - Self-centred and childish.- Yes.
0:24:43 > 0:24:49But the core person wasn't... You're not a bad person. I didn't ever hate you...
0:24:49 > 0:24:50enough.
0:24:53 > 0:24:57One of his favourite catchphrases is, when he comes back and he's hungry, "Nobody loves me.
0:24:57 > 0:25:00"Everybody hates me. I'm going to go and eat worms".
0:25:00 > 0:25:04Which is... You know, we encourage him to do that.
0:25:07 > 0:25:11But Andy now has a regular job and seems quite settled.
0:25:13 > 0:25:16With Rhianna growing up - and Rhianna's 12 now -
0:25:16 > 0:25:21she needs stability and there needs to be constant money.
0:25:21 > 0:25:25And it does feel good to have a constant income.
0:25:25 > 0:25:28I go out. I go to work. I get paid.
0:25:28 > 0:25:33And I know next month, it's going to be there again and again and again and again and again.
0:25:33 > 0:25:36I can start sort of...
0:25:36 > 0:25:42mentally thinking, "Right, I can save £100 here and £100 there."
0:25:42 > 0:25:45Never quite happens like that, I'm afraid.
0:25:45 > 0:25:50I always seem to find some way of spending it, but hey-ho!
0:25:50 > 0:25:52- I'll work on that one.- Mm.
0:25:57 > 0:26:02I think it's good he's retrained and that he's trying again, but he also needs to stick at one thing,
0:26:02 > 0:26:06instead of going, "Ooh, look! This is nice!" Flitting from different things.
0:26:06 > 0:26:10He needs to stay at one particular thing, ground himself and just...
0:26:10 > 0:26:15One thing he enjoys or doesn't enjoy, I don't care, as long as he brings in good cash.
0:26:17 > 0:26:23If I do enter a relationship when I'm a lot older, I will have separate bank accounts, no joint.
0:26:23 > 0:26:26I think it's good to be independent,
0:26:26 > 0:26:32cos if things don't work out, for whatever reason, it's good to have your own thing to fall back on.
0:26:49 > 0:26:52When it comes to the home environment,
0:26:52 > 0:26:56it's not only we parents who shape our children's lives.
0:26:56 > 0:27:02Most of our children have grandparents, sisters and brothers too.
0:27:05 > 0:27:07# Our house
0:27:07 > 0:27:09# In the middle of our street
0:27:09 > 0:27:10# Our house... #
0:27:10 > 0:27:14Matthew Singleton lives just outside London.
0:27:14 > 0:27:19He and his brother, Robert, have been fierce rivals since they were young.
0:27:20 > 0:27:25When we do play sports against each other, we are quite competitive,
0:27:25 > 0:27:31both of us, but sometimes we do get too competitive
0:27:31 > 0:27:33and maybe we argue.
0:27:33 > 0:27:38Matthew, in the past, has got very frustrated cos he used to always
0:27:38 > 0:27:41think he was the same age as Robert cos they were the same height.
0:27:41 > 0:27:45I had to say to him so many times, "You're two years younger than him."
0:27:45 > 0:27:47And he would become so competitive
0:27:47 > 0:27:51and wanting to beat Robert all the time and get so angry.
0:27:52 > 0:27:57At one point, they were very close and people sometimes would say, "Oh, you've got twins!"
0:27:57 > 0:28:00I took them into work one and a guy said, "I didn't realise you had twins."
0:28:00 > 0:28:04And I said, "No, no, they're two years apart."
0:28:04 > 0:28:10But in the last year, things have changed as his older brother has gone through puberty.
0:28:10 > 0:28:13Robert's suddenly shot up in height,
0:28:13 > 0:28:17towering above Matthew, and I think that's changed the dynamic.
0:28:17 > 0:28:23- Matthew...- Matthew loves having a big brother, he really loves it. - Robert's getting to adult size now.
0:28:24 > 0:28:29I had no idea that that height thing, psychologically, would make such a difference.
0:28:29 > 0:28:32- And they definitely get on much, much better now.- Yeah.
0:28:32 > 0:28:36- Oh, that's hot! Ow! - Are you all right?- Yeah.
0:28:36 > 0:28:40The brothers' rivalry has just been a normal part of growing up
0:28:40 > 0:28:45and for them, they've had a secure and tight-knit family throughout their lives.
0:28:45 > 0:28:51From the kids' perspective, it's been a very, very stable upbringing.
0:28:51 > 0:28:53We've not changed. We've not separated. We've not divorced.
0:28:53 > 0:28:58We've been told off occasionally by our children
0:28:58 > 0:29:04for having such a happy atmosphere at home, because they've got no traumas they can talk about to people.
0:29:04 > 0:29:07That's lovely! That's good!
0:29:07 > 0:29:10Do we need to wipe your nose? OK.
0:29:10 > 0:29:12Smile, both of you.
0:29:12 > 0:29:17'The thing is, we live round the corner and Matthew has a particularly close relationship with Raymond,
0:29:17 > 0:29:19'which is lovely.'
0:29:19 > 0:29:27'Matthew, for some time, passed our house every day on the way to school and coming home. And, er...'
0:29:27 > 0:29:31They would call in and they got biscuits.
0:29:31 > 0:29:33Used the loo sometimes.
0:29:33 > 0:29:37Well, I have a very vivid memory of... Perhaps you do too.
0:29:37 > 0:29:41..of the first day that Matthew went to infant school.
0:29:41 > 0:29:46And he ran ahead of his parents in his new uniform coming past our house
0:29:46 > 0:29:49and he just leapt up into our arms.
0:29:49 > 0:29:55It is a delightful relationship and I think it's very important to be physically close.
0:29:55 > 0:29:59- Oooh! Are you going to school?- Hello. - RAYMOND LAUGHS
0:29:59 > 0:30:05But growing up brings about change and this family have a difficult time ahead.
0:30:05 > 0:30:08My grandma's got Parkinson's disease
0:30:08 > 0:30:13and because of that, she's had to move into a home.
0:30:13 > 0:30:17Which was a very, very big wrench for all of us, especially my father.
0:30:17 > 0:30:23It's much better now that she's in a home because she has proper carers.
0:30:23 > 0:30:28You don't really know how you're meant to feel, because it's as if...
0:30:28 > 0:30:34She's not died, but yet, it's that... It does feel somehow as if she's died.
0:30:34 > 0:30:39Suddenly, your family that you always knew were together,
0:30:39 > 0:30:46that you always relied on and always just assumed were going to be there for ever together until they died,
0:30:46 > 0:30:48suddenly it's been pulled apart.
0:30:48 > 0:30:52As far as Raymond and I are concerned,
0:30:52 > 0:30:56I think this time is easier for me than for him.
0:30:56 > 0:30:59But, you see, I'm very aware of the fact we've had
0:30:59 > 0:31:0354 very good years, by anybody's standards.
0:31:03 > 0:31:09And we've had a lovely time. He's bringing in albums from our...
0:31:09 > 0:31:13The family have all laughed at me. I've had these photo albums, like a true old grandma,
0:31:13 > 0:31:16but every since we met.
0:31:16 > 0:31:20And we've had great fun and so have the boys. To our delight, they've picked up on them.
0:31:20 > 0:31:24- The legacy that your mum will leave the boys...- Yeah.
0:31:24 > 0:31:28Having grandparents living round the corner, and she's put so much into them.
0:31:28 > 0:31:31There's so many things they'll remember.
0:31:31 > 0:31:36You look at the boys now and you think they wouldn't be like that if it wasn't for their grandparents.
0:31:36 > 0:31:42I didn't think they'd be interested looking at these...all these pictures of our lives together
0:31:42 > 0:31:45and all the holidays we've had and so on.
0:31:45 > 0:31:49So, I think we've got an awful lot to be thankful for, so...
0:31:49 > 0:31:52- Are you all right?- Fine.
0:31:52 > 0:31:54SHE LAUGHS
0:32:23 > 0:32:26- My name's Ivo.- My name's Alex!
0:32:26 > 0:32:31Close relationships cement families together.
0:32:31 > 0:32:36These bonds are often never stronger than between identical twins,
0:32:36 > 0:32:39like Alex and Ivo Lloyd-Young in Glasgow.
0:32:39 > 0:32:44Having a twin is like having a best friend but who lives with you.
0:32:44 > 0:32:47Just means you've got someone who looks very like you
0:32:47 > 0:32:50and you can falsify crimes against them.
0:32:50 > 0:32:56Having your best mate with you all the time is a fantastic concept.
0:32:56 > 0:33:01What a great thing to have someone who's quite like you and shares interests with you
0:33:01 > 0:33:03with you all the time, so you can hang out.
0:33:08 > 0:33:11Go faster! Go faster!
0:33:15 > 0:33:17I can do it myself.
0:33:24 > 0:33:29But being an identical twin has one big drawback.
0:33:29 > 0:33:31- Are you Ivo or Alex?- Ivo.
0:33:31 > 0:33:34- Alex, can I play?- I'm Ivo!
0:33:34 > 0:33:37- People think we look alike.- We do!
0:33:37 > 0:33:41Uh! And the majority of people look alike, but we don't think we look alike.
0:33:41 > 0:33:44- I'm already confused. Who's Alex and who's Ivo?- This is Alex.
0:33:44 > 0:33:47People do it a lot. Just beginning to get boring,
0:33:47 > 0:33:50having to tell them you're not the one they think you are.
0:33:50 > 0:33:56They're clearly very aware they are very similar, and that is a problem for people to tell them apart.
0:33:56 > 0:33:59So, they'd just started wearing coloured clothes.
0:33:59 > 0:34:01OK, I'll do it.
0:34:01 > 0:34:04- I wear blue. He wears red.- Ow!
0:34:04 > 0:34:07Yeah, we have to do this so people can tell the difference.
0:34:07 > 0:34:11Otherwise we just get called Ivo or Alex all the time.
0:34:11 > 0:34:15See, like, I could be called Ivo and he could be called Alex.
0:34:15 > 0:34:19The person who's Ivo is completely different to the person who's Alex.
0:34:19 > 0:34:25Although, interestingly, they share a lot of personality traits, they are completely different.
0:34:36 > 0:34:41We've been with the Child Of Our Time children at every milestone of their lives.
0:34:43 > 0:34:46Starting primary school was a big moment.
0:34:49 > 0:34:51PFFT!
0:34:51 > 0:34:52PFFT!
0:34:53 > 0:34:58And in 2011, the children started secondary school
0:34:58 > 0:35:02and faced a whole new set of challenges.
0:35:06 > 0:35:09Secondary school, that was the big one for me.
0:35:09 > 0:35:15It was - Rhianna Lees, 11-year-old, first week at secondary school,
0:35:15 > 0:35:19and you got this other person came home at night. It was, wow!
0:35:19 > 0:35:25School's crap. They have all these "really good ideas about what kids enjoy"!
0:35:25 > 0:35:30And a lot of the time, the kids don't want to do these "fun" theme days cos they're not fun.
0:35:31 > 0:35:37Having started at secondary school last year, in Year Seven, I felt he slightly lost his confidence.
0:35:37 > 0:35:40I think the whole enormity of going to secondary school,
0:35:40 > 0:35:45trying to suddenly work out which classroom to go to, who the teachers were, what the names were.
0:35:45 > 0:35:50All those things, which... At primary school, they were the oldest in the school.
0:35:50 > 0:35:55Everybody knows them. They know everybody. It's smaller. I think that did really affect him.
0:35:55 > 0:35:59Hey! Come in! How was it?
0:35:59 > 0:36:04One worry that many parents have is that their children may be bullied.
0:36:04 > 0:36:10Almost half of all British children are likely to be bullied at some point during school.
0:36:10 > 0:36:15Someone's picking on them because of their weight, because they're too clever,
0:36:15 > 0:36:19or they're dumb, kind of they're too skinny, they're fat, their appearance.
0:36:19 > 0:36:24I hope that my children won't bully anybody else's, but they're not that temperament.
0:36:24 > 0:36:30- I don't remember being bullied either when I was at school, on the contrary.- Oh, I was.
0:36:30 > 0:36:32SHE LAUGHS
0:36:32 > 0:36:37Yes, I remember being locked in the lavatory when it was time to go to my piano class.
0:36:39 > 0:36:42Sadly, for Taliesin Stevenson,
0:36:42 > 0:36:47bullying has been an issue in his life since he was only four years old.
0:36:47 > 0:36:51HE CRIES
0:36:55 > 0:37:00They keep crashing with me. That isn't funny, is it?
0:37:00 > 0:37:05They decided they didn't like me from pretty much the first day.
0:37:05 > 0:37:09They never let me, like, play with them or anything like that.
0:37:09 > 0:37:13They always left me out, they just used to call me names,
0:37:13 > 0:37:18and, like, the normal kind of, like, what bullies do.
0:37:18 > 0:37:23I think I was bullied because maybe I looked weaker than everyone else
0:37:23 > 0:37:26and they decided to pick on the weakest.
0:37:26 > 0:37:30I don't think they understood him. I think they were...
0:37:30 > 0:37:33They weren't really on his level.
0:37:33 > 0:37:38Um, and so he withdrew into what he found interesting.
0:37:40 > 0:37:43It's so interesting!
0:37:43 > 0:37:46It's a monster.
0:37:46 > 0:37:48And then...
0:37:48 > 0:37:54He didn't have this basic view that all the other children had of how everything goes together.
0:37:54 > 0:38:00He took a photo of a fire extinguisher, I think, and birds flying.
0:38:00 > 0:38:01Aah!
0:38:01 > 0:38:06I just thought that was the most creative thing I could think of - birds flying in the sky.
0:38:06 > 0:38:13I was amazed at that, from when I was young, so I'm like, "Ah!" Ching, ching, ching.
0:38:13 > 0:38:17He had a totally different imaginary world that he lived in.
0:38:17 > 0:38:20So, the birds flying and fire extinguishers
0:38:20 > 0:38:23and everything else that caught his eye, really,
0:38:23 > 0:38:28rather than focusing on the miserable situation that he was basically in.
0:38:35 > 0:38:37Go away!
0:38:38 > 0:38:41'There were so many times that I didn't want to go into school.
0:38:41 > 0:38:46'Then I just started getting worse at that and saying, "I don't want to go in! I don't want to go in!"'
0:38:47 > 0:38:52Then my mum said, "Is there a problem?" And that's how I told her after five years.
0:38:52 > 0:38:58Knowing that I was sending him into an environment that he really wasn't comfortable with was...
0:38:58 > 0:39:03It was awful for me, it really was, and I'd come home and cry.
0:39:03 > 0:39:09I had to drive him into school a lot of times because he just wouldn't walk.
0:39:09 > 0:39:12He just point blank refused.
0:39:12 > 0:39:16Um, and I had to stand with him and wait and....
0:39:16 > 0:39:18He'd go off and...
0:39:18 > 0:39:21It was heartbreaking, absolutely heartbreaking.
0:39:25 > 0:39:29Taliesin being bullied struck a nerve with Olivia,
0:39:29 > 0:39:33because she had also suffered similarly in HER childhood.
0:39:33 > 0:39:39I wasn't only bullied at school, but also being bullied at home by my father.
0:39:44 > 0:39:48In June 2000, Olivia returned to her childhood home
0:39:48 > 0:39:53to tell Child Of Our Time about her traumatic upbringing.
0:39:53 > 0:39:58This is the woods that my mother's house backs on to.
0:40:01 > 0:40:05When I was very, very young and got worried at home,
0:40:05 > 0:40:09I used to jump over the fence and I'd run out into here.
0:40:12 > 0:40:15It's like a safe haven.
0:40:19 > 0:40:24So, it is hard as a parent, when you've been through that bullying,
0:40:24 > 0:40:28to see that happening to your own child.
0:40:28 > 0:40:31It's the worst feeling ever.
0:40:31 > 0:40:34But I just knew I had to do something about it.
0:40:35 > 0:40:40And I got myself a job there working as a midday assistant,
0:40:40 > 0:40:42so that I could see.
0:40:42 > 0:40:45I thought, "I'll know what he's up to from across the playground,
0:40:45 > 0:40:51"and I'll see what he's doing to these other kids to provoke the reaction that he's getting."
0:40:51 > 0:40:57And what I did see was an awful lot of stuff flying in his direction
0:40:57 > 0:41:00when he was even walking away.
0:41:00 > 0:41:03It was at that point that I decided it really wasn't going to work,
0:41:03 > 0:41:07and I just had to remove him from the school and find somewhere else.
0:41:12 > 0:41:18Taliesin moved schools, made new friends and is now much happier.
0:41:18 > 0:41:21I think the bullying wasn't actually a bad thing.
0:41:21 > 0:41:26Well, it is, but it wasn't bad as in the sense that it ruined my life.
0:41:30 > 0:41:33I think it's made me stronger as a person,
0:41:33 > 0:41:38like, deciding to stick up for myself rather than just take it.
0:41:38 > 0:41:41# What doesn't kill you makes you stronger
0:41:41 > 0:41:43# Stand a little taller
0:41:43 > 0:41:45# Doesn't mean I'm lonely... #
0:41:45 > 0:41:49He's got some really lovely friends now.
0:41:50 > 0:41:55I don't begrudge them what they did. I think they did him a massive favour.
0:41:55 > 0:41:59# What doesn't kill you makes you stronger
0:41:59 > 0:42:00# Stronger
0:42:00 > 0:42:03# Just me, myself and I
0:42:03 > 0:42:06# What doesn't kill you makes you stronger
0:42:06 > 0:42:08# Stand a little taller
0:42:08 > 0:42:13# Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I alone... #
0:42:13 > 0:42:17He's just so strong, and he's such a character.
0:42:17 > 0:42:22And, um, I'm just so proud to be part of that,
0:42:22 > 0:42:27to develop him into the adult that he's becoming.
0:42:27 > 0:42:31# Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone
0:42:31 > 0:42:34# I'm not alone. #
0:42:35 > 0:42:38Everything changes when you become a teenager -
0:42:38 > 0:42:43your mind, your body and, of course, your hormones.
0:42:43 > 0:42:47That's it! Inside leg, left leg! Go, go, go!
0:42:47 > 0:42:50And girls develop faster than boys.
0:42:50 > 0:42:52Megan Davies lives in South Wales.
0:42:52 > 0:42:55I definitely WAS a tomboy.
0:42:55 > 0:43:01I don't think I am now, but I'm not one to wear dresses.
0:43:01 > 0:43:03But, erm...
0:43:03 > 0:43:07I don't think I'm as boyish as what I used to be.
0:43:07 > 0:43:13She will paint her nails and she will doll herself up a bit,
0:43:13 > 0:43:20but her fashion sense, compared to Delana, her sister, isn't the best.
0:43:20 > 0:43:22Got to watch what you say now.
0:43:22 > 0:43:25Some of the things Megan will wear...
0:43:25 > 0:43:29We see her coming downstairs ready to go out for a meal or something.
0:43:29 > 0:43:35"Where do you think you're going?" She's just got some horrendous choice of clothes on.
0:43:35 > 0:43:40- So, we just leave it. - She's not bothered at all. - No, she's not that fussy.
0:43:40 > 0:43:47Not a lot of my friends actually have boyfriends, cos we all stick to the same, like, motto kind of thing.
0:43:47 > 0:43:53We all agree that we're a bit too young to take relationships seriously anyway, so...
0:43:53 > 0:43:56They will choose their own friends.
0:43:56 > 0:44:02They will decide what kind of life they want to lead, really.
0:44:02 > 0:44:07And it's from now on this is where we'll see big changes, really.
0:44:10 > 0:44:14It was quite a shock, actually, when we got to about the age of nine
0:44:14 > 0:44:19and she went from being a very compliant little girl to saying, "No, I'm not going to do that,"
0:44:19 > 0:44:23which is, OK, perfectly normal, I'm told. Erm...
0:44:23 > 0:44:26She is a very, very typical teenager.
0:44:26 > 0:44:29Spotty, becoming a woman,
0:44:29 > 0:44:32capable of being a total pain in the arse,
0:44:32 > 0:44:35and being a beautiful girl the next moment.
0:44:35 > 0:44:40It's going to be hell, cos I'm always going to get into arguments with my mother.
0:44:40 > 0:44:44I'm not looking forward to being a teenager.
0:44:44 > 0:44:47It's just you get grumpy a lot.
0:44:50 > 0:44:53Sometimes he's a pain in the butt.
0:44:53 > 0:44:58And I have to remind myself that he's supposed to be pushing the boundaries.
0:44:58 > 0:45:02She was angry, grounded me for, like, three weeks.
0:45:05 > 0:45:10He's getting quite clothes conscious and he's quite into his music.
0:45:10 > 0:45:16Oh, what's he called? I call him Tiny Tim and he gets furious with me.
0:45:16 > 0:45:21Tiny somebody or other, singer. All these singers and things that he likes.
0:45:21 > 0:45:27And, erm... And... Templer. Tiny Templer, I think. Something like that.
0:45:27 > 0:45:31Sometimes, you know, I'll be, like, in the mood of a three-year-old
0:45:31 > 0:45:35and spinning round in a circle is the best thing ever!
0:45:35 > 0:45:38And a rainbow, you know, is magical, you know.
0:45:38 > 0:45:41But then if I'm in, you know, a sensible mood,
0:45:41 > 0:45:47nothing is funny, you know, everything is just, like, "Oh, God sakes!"
0:45:47 > 0:45:51To look at, she's tall, quite mature for her age in some ways,
0:45:51 > 0:45:57- but she's not as mature as she'd like to have you think.- Yeah.
0:45:57 > 0:46:02Mum says I'm a wicked child cos I like the idea of turning people into soup.
0:46:02 > 0:46:07There's a film that does that. When they get old and decrepit, they turn them into soup.
0:46:07 > 0:46:13She's becoming quite hard. She's deliberately developing a hard shell,
0:46:13 > 0:46:18- which is alien to her natural character, to protect herself. - To protect herself, yeah.
0:46:18 > 0:46:24As a kid, empathy is useless because people will either take advantage of that, you know,
0:46:24 > 0:46:27by asking silly things, like crayons, you know, whatever.
0:46:27 > 0:46:33And you can't keep being friends with people you don't want to be friends with.
0:46:33 > 0:46:37I think she's less trusting, isn't she?
0:46:37 > 0:46:41Mum keeps saying, "You'll need it as an adult, blah, blah, blah!"
0:46:41 > 0:46:44But I don't care. I'm not an adult at the moment.
0:46:44 > 0:46:47This is how I want to be, otherwise it's going to ruin my life.
0:47:00 > 0:47:03So, do you play for North...?
0:47:03 > 0:47:06As children gain independence,
0:47:06 > 0:47:09they start to make decisions for themselves,
0:47:09 > 0:47:15and for one of our boys, this has had a dramatic impact on him and his family.
0:47:17 > 0:47:19I stopped competing, really,
0:47:19 > 0:47:23cos I got a bit...bored
0:47:23 > 0:47:27and I was getting, like, a lot of pressure put on me.
0:47:29 > 0:47:30Ah, fantastic play!
0:47:30 > 0:47:34From a very young age, William Roberts seemed destined
0:47:34 > 0:47:37to become a professional tennis player.
0:47:37 > 0:47:40When I first started playing tennis, I was four.
0:47:40 > 0:47:45I thought I was more naturally good a tennis player,
0:47:45 > 0:47:48cos people tell me that I'm very athletic.
0:47:48 > 0:47:53I think he's got a very good hand-to-eye coordination.
0:47:53 > 0:47:56He has a natural ability.
0:47:56 > 0:48:01He was definitely in the top eight for his age group in the country.
0:48:14 > 0:48:15APPLAUSE
0:48:15 > 0:48:18All William's spare time was taken up
0:48:18 > 0:48:22practising tennis and travelling to tournaments.
0:48:24 > 0:48:28- I'm not...!- Calm down. - HE WAILS
0:48:28 > 0:48:31'He was travelling further than nearly anyone.
0:48:31 > 0:48:34'He was giving up more school than nearly anyone.'
0:48:34 > 0:48:36Half the time, he'd have his lunch in the car.
0:48:36 > 0:48:39He had more meals in the car than anywhere else.
0:48:39 > 0:48:45And then drive off to training and you'd be there for hours and then coming back at night.
0:48:45 > 0:48:52And he's got to be up at school for eight o'clock in the morning and this isn't working.
0:48:54 > 0:49:00You realise it's too much pressure to be putting William through that if he's not enjoying it.
0:49:03 > 0:49:06I was just getting a bit tired of it.
0:49:06 > 0:49:11And I just started not being too keen on it.
0:49:11 > 0:49:15And started looking at other sports.
0:49:15 > 0:49:19And I was missing out on school sports that I wanted to do.
0:49:19 > 0:49:22I was getting pulled off to tennis
0:49:22 > 0:49:25when I actually wanted to do cricket at school and stuff like that.
0:49:25 > 0:49:30I just didn't want to really carry on.
0:49:34 > 0:49:40I did say to Will, "If you want to carry on, Will, if you really want to carry on playing tennis,
0:49:40 > 0:49:43"I will take you round the world."
0:49:43 > 0:49:48He said, "I don't know. You're the adult, it's up to you."
0:49:48 > 0:49:52And I said, "Well, Will, do you want to carry on playing tennis?" "I don't know."
0:49:52 > 0:49:58And eventually I said, "Look, love, 'I don't know' isn't really enough any more,
0:49:58 > 0:50:01"because it's too big a thing."
0:50:01 > 0:50:07It was tough on her as well because she was travelling around the country when I didn't even really...
0:50:07 > 0:50:12I wasn't really keen on the sport, so it was wasting her time and my time.
0:50:12 > 0:50:15So, we just decided to stop.
0:50:16 > 0:50:19That's it, that's the finish of tennis.
0:50:19 > 0:50:22And he looked at me and then he - I was in the kitchen -
0:50:22 > 0:50:26he came across to me and flung his arms round me and gave me a big hug.
0:50:26 > 0:50:30I wasn't that disappointed thinking that was the only thing that I was...
0:50:30 > 0:50:33that's the only sport I was good at,
0:50:33 > 0:50:37cos I know I'm all right at other sports as well.
0:50:44 > 0:50:49Not going to tennis every day has made an enormous difference to me,
0:50:49 > 0:50:54so much so that I look back and think I don't know how I did it sometimes.
0:50:54 > 0:50:56Erm...
0:50:56 > 0:51:00I now would like to have a job. I have been applying for jobs.
0:51:00 > 0:51:06Because I think it's easy to get consumed with housework.
0:51:06 > 0:51:11At least have the option of getting a job. It may not go down particularly well with some people,
0:51:11 > 0:51:17people that think I have plenty to do without getting a job, but I think, erm...
0:51:17 > 0:51:21I think that it would be good for me.
0:51:27 > 0:51:31If I hadn't had children and if I hadn't wanted children,
0:51:31 > 0:51:35I would be a solicitor with an income of my own
0:51:35 > 0:51:38and I would be financially independent.
0:51:39 > 0:51:43It would have changed who I am and how I feel about myself.
0:51:43 > 0:51:47It would have changed how other people see me.
0:51:47 > 0:51:50It would have changed what I had and how I lived
0:51:50 > 0:51:54and it would have changed my relationships with other people.
0:51:54 > 0:52:01And I could have been more of the person I wanted to be
0:52:01 > 0:52:03with that career and that income.
0:52:06 > 0:52:09I did have the offer of a really brilliant training contract
0:52:09 > 0:52:13with an excellent City firm.
0:52:13 > 0:52:18And so I've given up that, and I do...I do regret that.
0:52:18 > 0:52:20I do regret that.
0:52:20 > 0:52:23I do regret that a lot.
0:52:23 > 0:52:25Erm...
0:52:26 > 0:52:29I have made a lot of sacrifices...
0:52:29 > 0:52:30in one way.
0:52:32 > 0:52:36But in some ways, I haven't sacrificed anything.
0:52:49 > 0:52:53Yeah. I think, "Oh, well, I would have liked a job and a career."
0:52:53 > 0:52:57But the truth is, I wouldn't have wanted anything else.
0:53:01 > 0:53:03I... I, erm...
0:53:05 > 0:53:09I wanted the children so much.
0:53:09 > 0:53:13And I was more confident about being a good mother
0:53:13 > 0:53:17than I was confident about being a good solicitor.
0:53:17 > 0:53:20But we'll never know.
0:53:49 > 0:53:53These are the last moments of childhood,
0:53:53 > 0:53:56so a time of reflection for us all.
0:53:56 > 0:54:00Being a dad is as good as it's ever going to get, for me, I think.
0:54:00 > 0:54:04This is the single best thing I'll ever do.
0:54:04 > 0:54:07- ..And four, OK?- OK.
0:54:07 > 0:54:08..If you want.
0:54:11 > 0:54:13We can't all be brilliant at whatever,
0:54:13 > 0:54:16but there's a possibility that they might be,
0:54:16 > 0:54:20so, to me, it just feels incredibly special.
0:54:26 > 0:54:31I personally feel a little bit like the centre of the boys' lives
0:54:31 > 0:54:34has evolved away from me, inevitably.
0:54:35 > 0:54:39I used to do lists of ten brilliant things to do at the weekend
0:54:39 > 0:54:43and they'd tick what they wanted to do and we'd have paper aeroplane competitions
0:54:43 > 0:54:46and Lego model crashing competitions, all this stuff.
0:54:46 > 0:54:53And I love toys and kids and all that kind of stuff, and that doesn't happen now, and I miss that.
0:54:53 > 0:54:58I think I'm getting to the age where you want to be more with your friends
0:54:58 > 0:55:01than with your mum and dad.
0:55:04 > 0:55:07I can go into town by my own.
0:55:07 > 0:55:11They're not as much, like, crowded around me,
0:55:11 > 0:55:14like, "Be careful! Don't trip over."
0:55:14 > 0:55:17I just do what I want, really.
0:55:22 > 0:55:27'Our relationship, it's changing, which it's bound to.'
0:55:27 > 0:55:31But it's me that probably mourns that.
0:55:31 > 0:55:34Parys doesn't at all, I don't think.
0:55:39 > 0:55:44I find myself increasingly emotional these days,
0:55:44 > 0:55:50thinking, "It's not going to be long and they're all going to have grown up and they're going to leave me!"
0:55:50 > 0:55:54And it's lovely, because I think that they'll do very well.
0:55:54 > 0:55:59Oh, yes, it's wonderful being a grandmother. I wouldn't change that.
0:55:59 > 0:56:04It's interesting to see her growing and changing.
0:56:07 > 0:56:11And you just hope that you'll always be part of that.
0:56:14 > 0:56:18'I'm very privileged to have these children, but I've only got them for a short period of time,'
0:56:18 > 0:56:23cos they are going to grow up and leave me, but they're coming back when I'm old. I've told them!
0:56:26 > 0:56:29These are the golden moments right now.
0:56:29 > 0:56:33There's a kind of sadness, because I think childhood is about loss.
0:56:33 > 0:56:38It's about the loss of those moments because things are changing so much.
0:56:43 > 0:56:46They're 12 now. They were one.
0:56:46 > 0:56:49They're never going to be one again, so you're just losing all the time.
0:56:49 > 0:56:55I guess you just hold on to all the kind of wee moments of just magic.
0:57:17 > 0:57:21MUSIC: "When I'm 64" by The Beatles
0:57:24 > 0:57:31We shall continue to record the lives of our children, and one thing is certain -
0:57:31 > 0:57:35the biggest changes and challenges are still to come,
0:57:35 > 0:57:38as they become adults.
0:57:38 > 0:57:43I probably think I'd like to do something with animals, because they're different.
0:57:43 > 0:57:44I'd like to be a photographer.
0:57:44 > 0:57:47I don't know what I'll do. I'll just go with the flow.
0:57:47 > 0:57:50I want to be a baker as famous as Nigella Lawson.
0:57:50 > 0:57:54I don't know at all. It'll...
0:57:54 > 0:57:57It'll come to me one day!
0:57:57 > 0:58:02I want to be successful so I can make my mum and dad proud,
0:58:02 > 0:58:07but I don't know if that'll happen or not.
0:58:14 > 0:58:18Find out more about the challenges of the teenage years.
0:58:18 > 0:58:22Order The Open University's free booklet, Becoming A Teenager.
0:58:22 > 0:58:27Call:
0:58:27 > 0:58:32Or go to the website and follow the links to The Open University.
0:58:51 > 0:58:56Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd