0:00:05 > 0:00:09We begin, Father God, by just acknowledging this beautiful morning.
0:00:09 > 0:00:12We praise and thank you for the sunshine
0:00:12 > 0:00:14and as we stand here at this vantage point,
0:00:14 > 0:00:17we look around and we can see a lot of Armagh.
0:00:19 > 0:00:22And we are conscious that behind us,
0:00:22 > 0:00:24we have the Church of Ireland cathedral
0:00:24 > 0:00:28and further across on the other hill, there's the Catholic cathedral.
0:00:30 > 0:00:33Both called St Patrick's Cathedral,
0:00:33 > 0:00:36and we hark back to Patrick when he came here.
0:00:36 > 0:00:40And he came just to give one word from God.
0:00:40 > 0:00:43There is one Lord, one faith, one baptism,
0:00:43 > 0:00:47one God who is father of all in all, over all and through all.
0:01:17 > 0:01:19So, girls, we're here this morning,
0:01:19 > 0:01:23as you know, just again to do one of our prayer walks
0:01:23 > 0:01:25and we start conscious that we do anything we do
0:01:25 > 0:01:27in the power of the holy name of Jesus
0:01:27 > 0:01:30because on our own, as you know, we can't do a thing.
0:01:30 > 0:01:36The prayer walk would have started, I suppose, when I was praying.
0:01:36 > 0:01:41A thought would come into my head - you need to pray about such and such.
0:01:41 > 0:01:43'Maybe there had been a bombing or a shooting or whatever else.'
0:01:43 > 0:01:47You are a god of community, Father, son and holy spirit,
0:01:47 > 0:01:49and you want unity.
0:01:49 > 0:01:51'There are five of us who live here locally
0:01:51 > 0:01:53'who regularly attend the meetings
0:01:53 > 0:01:58'and if we believe that God is almighty, he can heal anything.'
0:01:58 > 0:02:03Absolutely anything. There's nothing beyond him.
0:02:03 > 0:02:06And we ask in the power of the holy name of Jesus,
0:02:06 > 0:02:11cleanse and heal everybody, every organisation,
0:02:11 > 0:02:15every little community and subgroup, cleanse and heal us all.
0:02:16 > 0:02:19- Do you say amen to that, girls? - Amen, yes. We say amen to that.
0:02:19 > 0:02:22All praise to the father the Almighty,
0:02:22 > 0:02:24to his son Jesus Christ, our Lord.
0:02:24 > 0:02:29To the spirit who dwells in our heart both for now and for ever, amen.
0:02:29 > 0:02:34'How do we let the King of Glory in to heal his people?
0:02:34 > 0:02:35'Because God is our father
0:02:35 > 0:02:38'and he wants to pour out blessings galore on his children.'
0:02:38 > 0:02:40Thank you, Jesus. Praise you, Jesus.
0:02:40 > 0:02:43'But the blessings couldn't get through'
0:02:43 > 0:02:46because the sins of history had not been confessed.
0:02:47 > 0:02:51We bring to you every act which caused pain
0:02:51 > 0:02:54and suffering to other human beings,
0:02:54 > 0:02:56whether it was a bomb on Thomas Street
0:02:56 > 0:02:58or a bomb at the foot of Scotch Street here,
0:02:58 > 0:03:02we bring it all and we say, Lord, we have sinned against you.
0:03:02 > 0:03:06'We realised that we were just doing what Daniel the Prophet did,
0:03:06 > 0:03:09'where he says, "We and our ancestors have sinned against you."'
0:03:09 > 0:03:12And he was confessing the sins of his people
0:03:12 > 0:03:15and it was only when they're confessed that God can forgive them.
0:03:15 > 0:03:17Praise him, thank you. Bless you, Jesus.
0:03:17 > 0:03:21Praise, and thank you, Jesus.
0:03:21 > 0:03:23Praise you, Jesus.
0:03:23 > 0:03:26'In your light we see light.'
0:03:26 > 0:03:28Praise you, Jesus.
0:03:28 > 0:03:33Friends, this morning we only know because God came to us first.
0:03:33 > 0:03:36We can't work it up or do it ourselves.
0:03:36 > 0:03:40God visited your soul one day and brought salvation
0:03:40 > 0:03:42when you believed in him.
0:03:46 > 0:03:49And that is the wonder of our salvation.
0:03:49 > 0:03:53And he opened up your mind and opened up your life to truth.
0:03:53 > 0:03:56And what does the truth do? It sets you, what?
0:03:56 > 0:03:58- ALL: Free.- Free!
0:03:58 > 0:04:01'We pray for the presence of God.
0:04:01 > 0:04:06'And the greatest miracle, for me, is the miracle of salvation,
0:04:06 > 0:04:08'of being spiritually alive.'
0:04:08 > 0:04:10He's put his spirit in you.
0:04:10 > 0:04:15In other words, he's giving you a mission and a great commission...
0:04:15 > 0:04:19Because I know the Bible tells me that heaven and earth will pass away
0:04:19 > 0:04:24but God's word, and Jesus is God's word, that'll never pass away.
0:04:26 > 0:04:31# Praise is rising
0:04:31 > 0:04:34# Eyes are turning
0:04:34 > 0:04:37# To you
0:04:37 > 0:04:41# We turn to you... #
0:04:41 > 0:04:44Faith, for me, is being able to thank God
0:04:44 > 0:04:48for something that he promises to do before he's done it.
0:04:51 > 0:04:55I always knew there was a God
0:04:55 > 0:04:58but there was always this idea, even in my own head,
0:04:58 > 0:05:03that if I become a Christian that I would actually miss out.
0:05:06 > 0:05:11I was at a time in my life where addictions had got a hold of me.
0:05:11 > 0:05:18I was despairing and God said to me that if I trusted him
0:05:18 > 0:05:23that he would save me out of that and that he would change me.
0:05:23 > 0:05:26He would give me a purpose in life and a destiny
0:05:26 > 0:05:30and that I would one day be in heaven with him.
0:05:31 > 0:05:33That's faith, for me.
0:05:39 > 0:05:42CONGREGATION SINGS HYMN
0:05:42 > 0:05:45A lot of people believe in God.
0:05:45 > 0:05:49A lot of people don't but for me, God does love all of us
0:05:49 > 0:05:51no matter who or what we are.
0:05:51 > 0:05:54Whether we believe in him or not, he still loves us.
0:05:54 > 0:05:57That, for me, is the difference of living with trust in God
0:05:57 > 0:06:00and living for years with, "I believe there is a God but,
0:06:00 > 0:06:03"you know, sometimes I wonder where he is."
0:06:14 > 0:06:17THEY SING HYMN
0:06:17 > 0:06:19I think when I was young it was a case of
0:06:19 > 0:06:21"this is what you do on a Sunday."
0:06:21 > 0:06:22And you go and you're told to go
0:06:22 > 0:06:25and you go right up until you're confirmed,
0:06:25 > 0:06:29and in fact, it was then that I probably fell away from the church.
0:06:31 > 0:06:33It was more or less the same type of thing every Sunday
0:06:33 > 0:06:36and I just felt that the words in the service didn't mean anything.
0:06:36 > 0:06:40It was just a case of you sort of wandered off.
0:06:40 > 0:06:43There just wasn't any great interest in what they were saying
0:06:43 > 0:06:46and it was my own lack of understanding.
0:06:49 > 0:06:53Lord of the harvest, we give you thanks for your church.
0:06:53 > 0:06:56We give you thanks for all that we have,
0:06:56 > 0:07:02for the food on our tables, for the people who we share our lives with.
0:07:02 > 0:07:06'I was at church one Sunday morning with a friend of mine, Hazel.
0:07:06 > 0:07:08'There was a letter read out by the rector
0:07:08 > 0:07:09'instead of a sermon that morning
0:07:09 > 0:07:12'and it was sort of a plea for people to come forward
0:07:12 > 0:07:13'and help in the church.
0:07:13 > 0:07:15'After we left church she asked me
0:07:15 > 0:07:18'if I had taken a copy of the letter that had been read out.'
0:07:18 > 0:07:20"I don't want to be helping in the church!
0:07:20 > 0:07:23"I'm a back-seat person, I don't want to be standing up there."
0:07:23 > 0:07:26A couple of weeks later, Hazel and I were out for a walk.
0:07:26 > 0:07:29We came back to her house, where my car was parked,
0:07:29 > 0:07:31and I drove straight to the rector's house with no explanation
0:07:31 > 0:07:35other than I was I was offering some sort of service
0:07:35 > 0:07:38and all of a sudden I was going to be doing a parish reader's course
0:07:38 > 0:07:41and that's where it all stemmed from, really.
0:07:48 > 0:07:50I didn't really know what faith was
0:07:50 > 0:07:53but it was a word that was used quite a lot, you know?
0:07:53 > 0:07:57I maybe made the mistake of thinking that it was religious practice
0:07:57 > 0:08:01and discovered later it has very little to do with that.
0:08:01 > 0:08:04We can say all the time, "Well, yes, I trust in God,"
0:08:04 > 0:08:08and so on and so forth, but most of the time we don't really.
0:08:08 > 0:08:10We really just have our own plans and we say,
0:08:10 > 0:08:12"This is what I am planning to do, Lord,
0:08:12 > 0:08:14"and I'd like your imprimatur on it."
0:08:14 > 0:08:18Nut, actually, realising first of all that we can ask,
0:08:18 > 0:08:20"Lord, what is your plan?
0:08:21 > 0:08:26"How do I fit into it? What is your plan for me? Etc."
0:08:26 > 0:08:30And then, taking a chance when nothing in your circumstances
0:08:30 > 0:08:33would suggest that it's the right thing to take,
0:08:33 > 0:08:35as the world would see,
0:08:35 > 0:08:38that it's the right thing to take a chance, do you know what I'm saying?
0:08:38 > 0:08:41Just actually sticking your neck out a wee bit.
0:08:44 > 0:08:48God, in his goodness, gives us a lot of wonderful experiences
0:08:48 > 0:08:52but they're really just sweets for children, you know?
0:08:52 > 0:08:54Most of us are children in our faith
0:08:54 > 0:08:57and it's only maybe when we're into our 40s or 50s
0:08:57 > 0:09:01that we begin to start growing up in our faith, you know.
0:09:25 > 0:09:30And the only way that you can invite God in is
0:09:30 > 0:09:34when we bring all the negative influences of our personal history,
0:09:34 > 0:09:39our family history, bring them to God and say, "This happened."
0:09:41 > 0:09:44There was a line from Scripture,
0:09:44 > 0:09:48"Parents, do not drive your children to resentment,"
0:09:48 > 0:09:51and there was a lot of resentment in me.
0:09:55 > 0:09:58LATIN CHANT
0:10:04 > 0:10:07I don't always look at religion being Christianity.
0:10:07 > 0:10:10I suppose, growing up in the years that I grew up in the Troubles,
0:10:10 > 0:10:13religion was a Catholic/Protestant thing.
0:10:13 > 0:10:16And I never really did things religiously.
0:10:16 > 0:10:19I liked to have a little bit more freedom than that.
0:10:19 > 0:10:23As time went on I really did drift away from the church,
0:10:23 > 0:10:26so once I got the opportunity not to have to go,
0:10:26 > 0:10:29once I came 18, we could sort of do what we liked.
0:10:36 > 0:10:40I had done office studies at the tech here in Armagh.
0:10:40 > 0:10:43I never particularly wanted to work in an office but there wasn't
0:10:43 > 0:10:46an awful lot to choose from back in that period, '79, '80.
0:10:46 > 0:10:49I thought, "Is this what life is going to be like?"
0:10:49 > 0:10:54And then I got the opportunity to join the Ulster Defence Regiment.
0:10:55 > 0:10:57It was the height of the Troubles
0:10:57 > 0:11:00and it wasn't received very well at home
0:11:00 > 0:11:02but after six months' part-time service,
0:11:02 > 0:11:04I was asked to go full-time.
0:11:10 > 0:11:15Those first ten years I spent in Armagh in Drumadd Barracks,
0:11:15 > 0:11:17and met many good friends
0:11:17 > 0:11:20and we also lost a lot of friends.
0:11:22 > 0:11:26The biggest thing would have been the absence of God for me,
0:11:26 > 0:11:30because it was always this thing, where is God? Where is he?
0:11:30 > 0:11:33Where is God now? What has happened here?
0:11:33 > 0:11:34Why is he allowing this to happen?
0:11:45 > 0:11:48A lot of people had died before I joined the UDR.
0:11:48 > 0:11:51I suppose when you're only 19 or 20,
0:11:51 > 0:11:53you don't see it as a big risk
0:11:53 > 0:11:55but Charlie Armstrong's funeral
0:11:55 > 0:11:58was the first one that I attended in military uniform.
0:12:02 > 0:12:06He was serving as a chairman of the council and he was also
0:12:06 > 0:12:08a high-ranking officer in the Ulster Defence Regiment
0:12:08 > 0:12:10but, you know, people didn't see
0:12:10 > 0:12:12the good that he did for the city of Armagh.
0:12:12 > 0:12:14Charlie had actually been a referee for me
0:12:14 > 0:12:18when I had applied to join the UDR and just looking at his gravestone,
0:12:18 > 0:12:22you know, I'm just a year younger than him now when he died.
0:12:22 > 0:12:25There were people with great faith
0:12:25 > 0:12:28and they did seem to be able to cope with things a lot better.
0:12:28 > 0:12:32I suppose, in many respects, we sort of would have went to the bar
0:12:32 > 0:12:34just maybe to try and numb the pain of the thing
0:12:34 > 0:12:37and to maybe cover up the grief in some way.
0:12:38 > 0:12:42And it was like that, I suppose, for probably every murder.
0:12:42 > 0:12:46But the big thing was, you know, I just wondered where God was.
0:12:54 > 0:12:57Lord, I just seek your commanded blessing tonight, Lord,
0:12:57 > 0:12:59as we join our hearts, Lord, to lift you up.
0:12:59 > 0:13:04Lord Jesus, Lord, we humbly come and pray, Lord,
0:13:04 > 0:13:06that you will be glorified, Lord.
0:13:06 > 0:13:09'When I was growing up it was in
0:13:09 > 0:13:11'a difficult period for Northern Ireland
0:13:11 > 0:13:15'and a lot of people were hurting.
0:13:15 > 0:13:20'There was a lot of disillusionment, especially in my generation,
0:13:20 > 0:13:23'and people wanted something to do.
0:13:23 > 0:13:26'For me, I got involved in football clubs and played football
0:13:26 > 0:13:30'but whenever I got involved in the football
0:13:30 > 0:13:32'and you would have went to the pub afterwards,
0:13:32 > 0:13:34'then you would have went clubbing.
0:13:34 > 0:13:36'I would say I would never go to raves
0:13:36 > 0:13:39'and never get involved in that whole culture
0:13:39 > 0:13:41'and I ended up with addictions to drugs.'
0:13:41 > 0:13:46It's your truth, Lord, you came to bind up the broken-hearted, Lord.
0:13:46 > 0:13:48'And it was just a dark time.'
0:13:50 > 0:13:54I'd just run out of enjoying life and I didn't want life to go on.
0:13:54 > 0:13:57Amen.
0:14:00 > 0:14:01All right?
0:14:07 > 0:14:10Music: "Clair De Lune" by Debussy
0:14:19 > 0:14:21We pray in the morning.
0:14:21 > 0:14:24You're more than welcome to come along out to Armagh Elim Church.
0:14:24 > 0:14:28- Is that on the Portadown Road?- It is.- Aye.
0:14:28 > 0:14:30Do you want one?
0:14:30 > 0:14:31HE LAUGHS
0:14:31 > 0:14:34- There yous go.- Thank you. - You're more than welcome.
0:14:39 > 0:14:43If I get a good job, if I get the wife, I get the kids,
0:14:43 > 0:14:47if I get the holidays, and then you just die, what is the point in life?
0:14:47 > 0:14:51I decided I just didn't want to go on with this world.
0:14:52 > 0:14:55And I hid myself away in my house
0:14:55 > 0:14:57and it started off for days at a time, then weeks at a time.
0:14:57 > 0:14:59And whenever you're doing that,
0:14:59 > 0:15:01everything around you starts to crumble.
0:15:01 > 0:15:05My body was ravaged and even mentally, I wasn't coherent.
0:15:08 > 0:15:11I'd got to a point where after visiting my doctor
0:15:11 > 0:15:14he was sort of quite amazed that I was still alive.
0:15:14 > 0:15:18I was born a Catholic, like, but I don't care about any religion.
0:15:18 > 0:15:20I just don't pay any attention.
0:15:20 > 0:15:23I don't get into that. I get into Jesus.
0:15:23 > 0:15:26I just don't see what the difference is. Everyone is a person.
0:15:26 > 0:15:28For me it's not about any of those things either.
0:15:28 > 0:15:31I was mad into the party scene, mad into DJing,
0:15:31 > 0:15:34mad into travel, mad into drink, the whole lot,
0:15:34 > 0:15:37and just head wrecked, life destroyed
0:15:37 > 0:15:40and then I met Jesus and just trusted him
0:15:40 > 0:15:45and he kept changing it and changing it and changing it, you know?
0:15:45 > 0:15:48'I woke up one morning and I couldn't remember the weeks
0:15:48 > 0:15:51'and whenever I started to think about it even properly,
0:15:51 > 0:15:54'even the years that had preceded that moment
0:15:54 > 0:15:58'and I became physically aware of eternal things
0:15:58 > 0:16:01'and became very conscious that hell was real.
0:16:06 > 0:16:10'The idea that there would never be an opportunity again,
0:16:10 > 0:16:13'should I slip over that line, that would be it,
0:16:13 > 0:16:16'there would never be anything good
0:16:16 > 0:16:21'that I could look for hope for again and in that moment,
0:16:21 > 0:16:27'I believe that I heard the voice of God telling me that he loved me'
0:16:27 > 0:16:31and I knew that there was an opportunity here.
0:16:37 > 0:16:41Being sure that I was going to have satisfied that eternal thing
0:16:41 > 0:16:46in my heart, I knew, "I'm safe, I going to heaven no matter what."
0:16:47 > 0:16:51The opportunities began to open up for me to go and speak to people,
0:16:51 > 0:16:57either tell my story or share from the word of God and to teach people.
0:16:58 > 0:17:04That wasn't something that I set out to do or thought I could do.
0:17:04 > 0:17:06The Bible became alive.
0:17:06 > 0:17:10It became a living word in my life and gave me wisdom for life
0:17:10 > 0:17:13to be able to live the life that I believe that God wants me to live.
0:17:16 > 0:17:20And I know in heaven there'll not be any more pain
0:17:20 > 0:17:24and there'll be no more suffering, there'll be no more sorrow.
0:17:25 > 0:17:28Everything that we sacrifice in this world
0:17:28 > 0:17:34for the Lord Jesus Christ will be rewarded in heaven.
0:17:52 > 0:17:58..in the name of the Father, and of the son, and of the holy spirit.
0:17:58 > 0:18:00Amen.
0:18:00 > 0:18:01'In my very early life
0:18:01 > 0:18:06'the only emotion that was actually activated in me,
0:18:06 > 0:18:09and this isn't a finger-pointing exercise by any means,
0:18:09 > 0:18:11it's just stating how things were,
0:18:11 > 0:18:13the only emotion that was activated in me
0:18:13 > 0:18:16in my very early childhood was fear.
0:18:17 > 0:18:24There was a lot of verbal abuse that, as you would expect,
0:18:24 > 0:18:27had a profoundly negative effect on my self esteem.
0:18:32 > 0:18:38Just past my mid-20s I recall on one occasion
0:18:38 > 0:18:40sitting on the corner of my bed.
0:18:40 > 0:18:45I just said, "Look, Lord, I'm at this stage in my life now.
0:18:45 > 0:18:47"I don't know why I'm alive.
0:18:47 > 0:18:53"If you just allowed me to be born to be a punch bag
0:18:53 > 0:18:55"I wish you hadn't bothered."
0:18:55 > 0:18:58# We ask you, take our hearts
0:18:58 > 0:19:02# We love you, take our lives
0:19:02 > 0:19:05# Oh, father, we are yours
0:19:05 > 0:19:09# We are yours. #
0:19:09 > 0:19:15'Within six weeks he gave me a very clear and wonderful answer.
0:19:18 > 0:19:22'I was over in London with a sister who used to live over there.
0:19:22 > 0:19:26'We had heard about a healing priest who was visiting in London.
0:19:26 > 0:19:29'I remember going in to him
0:19:29 > 0:19:36'and I just know he put his hand out under my head
0:19:36 > 0:19:38'and he said to me,'
0:19:38 > 0:19:44"My poor child, you have never known the love of a father or a mother."
0:19:45 > 0:19:51For the first time in my life I felt totally and utterly loved.
0:19:53 > 0:19:58For about three days, I just cried and I cried and I cried
0:19:58 > 0:20:01and I cried, tears that I should have cried as a child
0:20:01 > 0:20:05but wasn't able to, wasn't free to or whatever.
0:20:05 > 0:20:08"This is my personal truth."
0:20:08 > 0:20:12At last it has been spoken out and a weight was lifted off me.
0:20:24 > 0:20:26'I knew all this pain that was inside me,
0:20:26 > 0:20:30'but there was no way that I could do anything about it
0:20:30 > 0:20:34'except for God's divine intervention.'
0:20:34 > 0:20:39We just bring the whole history of this prison to you, Lord.
0:20:39 > 0:20:42'And he loves me and he doesn't think I'm bad
0:20:42 > 0:20:44'and he doesn't think I'm useless
0:20:44 > 0:20:47'and he knows why he allowed me to be created.'
0:20:47 > 0:20:49We ask your blessing, Lord...
0:20:49 > 0:20:53"I have commissioned you to pray for the healing of Ireland."
0:20:54 > 0:20:58And straightaway, I picked up the phone, rang some friends and said,
0:20:58 > 0:21:01"Look, I'm going to start a prayer group, will you come?"
0:21:03 > 0:21:06'I find myself beginning to enjoy life,
0:21:06 > 0:21:08'beginning to be a bit more confident.
0:21:08 > 0:21:11'Actually wanting to pray more because,'
0:21:11 > 0:21:15if this is how God answers prayer, bring it on,
0:21:15 > 0:21:18I want more and more and more and more and more of it
0:21:18 > 0:21:20till the day I die, you know?
0:21:21 > 0:21:27'But if all the good women would just say, "I will allow God
0:21:27 > 0:21:31"to intervene in a situation in my street, in my road,
0:21:31 > 0:21:34"in my housing estate," or whatever,
0:21:34 > 0:21:38because God can do wonderful things and he does do wonderful things
0:21:38 > 0:21:42but, he will only do it when he's invited in to do it.
0:21:50 > 0:21:53CHURCH BELLS TOLL
0:22:03 > 0:22:10I believe that Armagh had a special visitation from God
0:22:10 > 0:22:13through a man in particular, Patrick, or St Patrick.
0:22:14 > 0:22:17And whenever I look into this city
0:22:17 > 0:22:22I see a stirring of God again in people's hearts,
0:22:22 > 0:22:26where people are being impressed upon,
0:22:26 > 0:22:29I believe by God, to move in faith,
0:22:29 > 0:22:34to see changes that will bring godly changes about in this city.
0:22:42 > 0:22:47Off you go. You go in with Daddy. You go in with Daddy. Go in with Daddy.
0:22:49 > 0:22:55'I always had this thought from I was very young that God wanted me
0:22:55 > 0:22:58'to serve him as a minister.'
0:23:01 > 0:23:03'This was a calling that he had in my life
0:23:03 > 0:23:06'and I'm not saying it's for everybody at all, but for me,
0:23:06 > 0:23:11'I knew I had to give up my job and give up my home and go.
0:23:11 > 0:23:13'We took time out as a family
0:23:13 > 0:23:17'and we decided that we'd live in faith
0:23:17 > 0:23:21'through those times as well and trust him'
0:23:21 > 0:23:26and right through Bible college, God was faithful to me in providing.
0:23:26 > 0:23:29"More words that you can..." Oh...
0:23:29 > 0:23:33- Do you want me to do the whole book? - All right.- Set it down.
0:23:33 > 0:23:37'We literally prayed the food onto the table and oil into the tank.
0:23:37 > 0:23:42'There was one winter's morning, we'd no oil.
0:23:42 > 0:23:44'There was a knock on the door.
0:23:44 > 0:23:46'This man who I'd never met before asked me my name
0:23:46 > 0:23:50'and he told me that he was a local businessman
0:23:50 > 0:23:52'and he felt that God had said to him
0:23:52 > 0:23:56'to put on in our tank and was that OK?'
0:23:56 > 0:23:59Hello!
0:23:59 > 0:24:01'And for the glory of God I said,
0:24:01 > 0:24:04'"Yes, and it'll be a little bit warmer too in the house."
0:24:04 > 0:24:07'It was great. This is my story.'
0:24:07 > 0:24:10I'm not saying this is for everybody but when you step out in faith
0:24:10 > 0:24:14and what God wants you to do, God will provide in his ways,
0:24:14 > 0:24:17you know, and you trust that.
0:24:28 > 0:24:31I remember when my father died and I remember being with him
0:24:31 > 0:24:34and questioning what life is. "What is this all about?"
0:24:34 > 0:24:38I mean, at that time I would have been very much into work
0:24:38 > 0:24:39and work was everything.
0:24:39 > 0:24:44Whilst I completed the 22 years in between the UDR
0:24:44 > 0:24:47and the Royal Irish, in many ways, for me that was the end.
0:25:05 > 0:25:08The Alpha Course, I had heard about it through a friend of mine.
0:25:08 > 0:25:10For me, really, it was a big turning point
0:25:10 > 0:25:14because it was this really simple insight into the Christian life
0:25:14 > 0:25:17and this was like a whole new living thing for me.
0:25:17 > 0:25:20I decided that I would go back to church regularly
0:25:20 > 0:25:22and then eventually I ended up as a parish reader.
0:25:27 > 0:25:30There's something just about the inner peace that you have.
0:25:30 > 0:25:32And, yes, you do have to go through the hard times
0:25:32 > 0:25:35and that is quite sad and no family misses out on them,
0:25:35 > 0:25:36but it's that inner peace
0:25:36 > 0:25:40and it's that that I would have struggled with most of my life
0:25:40 > 0:25:43and now, that is a great thing to have.
0:25:57 > 0:25:59I mean, all those things that happened,
0:25:59 > 0:26:01you're never going to forget any of that.
0:26:02 > 0:26:06I wondered at times where God was in the midst of all the murders
0:26:06 > 0:26:08and different things that happened.
0:26:08 > 0:26:09And I look back sometimes
0:26:09 > 0:26:13and I think, perhaps he was there with the people who were hurting.
0:26:13 > 0:26:15You know, he probably was with the widow, or the son,
0:26:15 > 0:26:18or the daughter, or the husband, or the wife.
0:26:21 > 0:26:24And I suppose, a way for me to cope with all of that
0:26:24 > 0:26:26is to sort of let it go,
0:26:26 > 0:26:29just to let God have it because I can't make justice happen
0:26:29 > 0:26:32and I can't change the situation,
0:26:32 > 0:26:34but I can get rid of my own bitterness
0:26:34 > 0:26:37by perhaps just letting go.
0:26:40 > 0:26:43I think you only have to look around you today and, you know,
0:26:43 > 0:26:47people must be blind if they can't see some sort of creation here.
0:26:47 > 0:26:50To me, this is God's creation.
0:26:50 > 0:26:52Until I actually find that I sit down
0:26:52 > 0:26:54and take that wee bit of time with God,
0:26:54 > 0:26:56it's only then that I get the real answers
0:26:56 > 0:26:58and get the real sense of peace
0:26:58 > 0:27:01and I just know that there is some sort of healing beginning.
0:27:01 > 0:27:03Now, that doesn't wipe out every tragedy that happens,
0:27:03 > 0:27:06or it doesn't just make you feel wonderful right away,
0:27:06 > 0:27:08but it gives you that sense of peace.
0:27:08 > 0:27:11And I don't think I would want to live my life without that peace.
0:27:22 > 0:27:26God said to me that if I trusted him
0:27:26 > 0:27:29he would change me and he keeps changing me.
0:27:29 > 0:27:31I just keep believing.
0:27:31 > 0:27:34There's nothing complicated about it.
0:27:34 > 0:27:37Scriptures like John 3:16,
0:27:37 > 0:27:40"Fr God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son,
0:27:40 > 0:27:43"that whoever believes in him will not perish
0:27:43 > 0:27:45"but have everlasting life."
0:27:45 > 0:27:49I know, for me, without God I was perishing.
0:27:53 > 0:27:57Absolutely everything that happened in life,
0:27:57 > 0:28:00which is everything that God has allowed to happen
0:28:00 > 0:28:04because he's totally in control, it happened for a purpose
0:28:04 > 0:28:06and there's something to be learned from it,
0:28:06 > 0:28:08including from the negative times.
0:28:14 > 0:28:17"OK, I'm going through a bad patch at the moment, my faith is low,
0:28:17 > 0:28:22"I'm going to grin and bear it because I know that it has come
0:28:22 > 0:28:25"but it comes to pass."
0:28:25 > 0:28:27And I love those words from scripture -
0:28:27 > 0:28:28"And it came to pass."
0:28:28 > 0:28:31Because everything, both good and bad, comes to pass.