0:00:03 > 0:00:07One of the things I love about us Brits is our spirit of generosity.
0:00:07 > 0:00:09If I can give back to somebody who had a similar struggle
0:00:09 > 0:00:12to my own, then that's what I'd like to do.
0:00:12 > 0:00:16Last year, nearly three-quarters of us gave to charity.
0:00:16 > 0:00:18But what if you had the chance to go back
0:00:18 > 0:00:22- and relive moments from your past? - I wish I was 18 again.
0:00:24 > 0:00:28- I'm expecting Mum and Dad to walk out now and say hello.- Yeah.
0:00:28 > 0:00:31Moments which would inspire you to want to help someone today...
0:00:31 > 0:00:34I want to give back to those people that are going through that,
0:00:34 > 0:00:35that I went through in the beginning.
0:00:35 > 0:00:37If I can give something to somebody else
0:00:37 > 0:00:40- that will change their lives, I'd really love to.- Fantastic.
0:00:40 > 0:00:44'..someone who had no idea this life-changing windfall was coming.'
0:00:44 > 0:00:48I have got, potentially, her dream in my hand.
0:00:48 > 0:00:51- How are you feeling?- Nervous.
0:00:51 > 0:00:53'There'll be surprises.'
0:00:53 > 0:00:56- How are you?- Very good.
0:00:56 > 0:00:58Thank you so much.
0:00:58 > 0:01:00- Thank you.- Ah.
0:01:00 > 0:01:03'With acts of generosity that will change people's lives...'
0:01:03 > 0:01:06- I'm really excited now. - We're ALL crying.
0:01:06 > 0:01:09- Do you need an arm as well? - Yeah, thanks.
0:01:09 > 0:01:12'..forever.' Way! Brilliant.
0:01:12 > 0:01:14Somebody that just does that for people -
0:01:14 > 0:01:16it's just amazing, it really is.
0:01:16 > 0:01:18This is Going Back, Giving Back.
0:01:28 > 0:01:31Today, we're going back to London in the 1990s.
0:01:31 > 0:01:34It's a story of survival and great hope.
0:01:34 > 0:01:36It's about one determined woman
0:01:36 > 0:01:39taking inspiration from a life-changing event.
0:01:41 > 0:01:44We'll meet the crash survivor who became synonymous
0:01:44 > 0:01:49with one of the worst British rail disasters of modern times.
0:01:49 > 0:01:52- So this is actually where the crash happened.- Yeah.
0:01:52 > 0:01:55This is...where the two trains met.
0:01:55 > 0:02:00'We reunite her with a man who shared her pain, who gave her hope.'
0:02:00 > 0:02:04- Hello, darling.- All right, sweetie, are you OK?- Yes, I'm fine.
0:02:04 > 0:02:07And can she change the life of one inspiring young woman
0:02:07 > 0:02:09who's confronting her own challenges?
0:02:09 > 0:02:14I have got, potentially, her dream in my hand.
0:02:14 > 0:02:18- Thank you so much.- It's a pleasure, honestly. It's a real pleasure.
0:02:27 > 0:02:30For many people involved in a horrific accident,
0:02:30 > 0:02:32it's a day they'd rather forget.
0:02:32 > 0:02:34But for the inspirational woman I'm about to meet,
0:02:34 > 0:02:37a serious tragedy provided her with a springboard
0:02:37 > 0:02:41to rediscover her life and motivated her to want to help others.
0:02:41 > 0:02:43I can't wait to meet her.
0:02:44 > 0:02:49'49-year-old Pam is a successful public speaker and author.'
0:02:49 > 0:02:51Today, she travels the world,
0:02:51 > 0:02:54'giving motivational speeches to big businesses.
0:02:54 > 0:02:59But in 1999 she was involved in a devastating accident,
0:02:59 > 0:03:01'and it's her road to recovery
0:03:01 > 0:03:04'that's driving her to give something back today.
0:03:04 > 0:03:06'I'm meeting her in a park in Reading.'
0:03:06 > 0:03:08- Hiya, Pam.- Hello, Aled. Nice to meet you.
0:03:08 > 0:03:11Really lovely to see you as well. How are you?
0:03:11 > 0:03:15- I'm good, thank you.- Excellent. - Lovely day.- Isn't it just?
0:03:15 > 0:03:16So go on, what's motivating you
0:03:16 > 0:03:19to want to give something back to someone today?
0:03:19 > 0:03:21Well, 16 years ago,
0:03:21 > 0:03:25I was involved in one of the UK's largest train crashes.
0:03:25 > 0:03:28I was on a train coming out of Reading,
0:03:28 > 0:03:30travelling towards Paddington at rush hour,
0:03:30 > 0:03:35and we met another train coming out of Paddington at over 130mph.
0:03:37 > 0:03:41The resulting accident had catastrophic consequences.
0:03:41 > 0:03:4631 people died, 227 of us were badly injured.
0:03:46 > 0:03:48The fuel erupted from the engine
0:03:48 > 0:03:51and came through the carriage that I was on
0:03:51 > 0:03:53and I was so badly burnt and injured
0:03:53 > 0:03:56that I should have been the 32nd victim.
0:03:56 > 0:03:58Pam was rushed to hospital,
0:03:58 > 0:04:00where her chances of survival looked slim,
0:04:00 > 0:04:04but against all the odds she pulled through.
0:04:04 > 0:04:07However, her injuries, in particular the burns to her face,
0:04:07 > 0:04:09changed her life forever.
0:04:09 > 0:04:12The physical injuries heal eventually,
0:04:12 > 0:04:16but the psychological side really caught me out by surprise.
0:04:16 > 0:04:19I wouldn't allow myself to acknowledge the trauma
0:04:19 > 0:04:23from what had happened and it really took about ten years
0:04:23 > 0:04:27before I started feeling I was a normal human being again.
0:04:27 > 0:04:29You obviously had support to help you
0:04:29 > 0:04:31get through what happened to you.
0:04:31 > 0:04:34Quite recently I sat down and I totted up all the clinicians,
0:04:34 > 0:04:37technicians, nurses, doctors, psychologists, psychiatrists -
0:04:37 > 0:04:40everybody that's helped me, including my family and friends -
0:04:40 > 0:04:42and it ran into 127.
0:04:42 > 0:04:45- Goodness me!- 127 people!
0:04:45 > 0:04:48And I thought, "I can never thank all those people."
0:04:48 > 0:04:50'It's this support that she received
0:04:50 > 0:04:53'which is driving Pam to want to help someone today.'
0:04:53 > 0:04:57So, helping others, I think, is the way to, in a way,
0:04:57 > 0:05:01show these other people that you're doing something worthwhile
0:05:01 > 0:05:03with that life that they've helped to save.
0:05:03 > 0:05:05You're such an incredible person, you honestly are.
0:05:05 > 0:05:08The smile on your face, the energy coming from you,
0:05:08 > 0:05:11and the positivity coming from you is incredible.
0:05:11 > 0:05:13I always remind myself how lucky I am.
0:05:13 > 0:05:17I always consider this as my second life, my post-crash life,
0:05:17 > 0:05:21and therefore I'm going to do as much as I can with it.
0:05:21 > 0:05:22In order for you to give back,
0:05:22 > 0:05:25I think we need to GO back, if that's OK.
0:05:25 > 0:05:28- OK.- It might not be an easy journey.
0:05:28 > 0:05:31I'll have to face a few demons but I have my strategies.
0:05:31 > 0:05:33- No time like the present. Shall we do it?- OK, then.
0:05:33 > 0:05:34- Come on.- Thank you.
0:05:41 > 0:05:43'We're hoping that by taking Pam on a journey into her past,
0:05:43 > 0:05:46'it will help her make the big decision
0:05:46 > 0:05:49'of who and how she might be able to help someone today.
0:05:49 > 0:05:53'She's courageously volunteered to return to the site of the crash
0:05:53 > 0:05:56'that changed her life 17 years ago.'
0:05:56 > 0:05:58I see you've very bravely decided
0:05:58 > 0:06:00to take us back to where it all happened.
0:06:01 > 0:06:04Was that a difficult decision for you to come to?
0:06:04 > 0:06:06- It no longer has an effect on me. - Yeah.
0:06:06 > 0:06:10It IS something that happened in the past. It's not present in my future.
0:06:12 > 0:06:15The Paddington train crash was the worst rail disaster
0:06:15 > 0:06:19to happen in Britain in the last 20 years.
0:06:19 > 0:06:23A train leaving Paddington had failed to stop at a red signal
0:06:23 > 0:06:27and collided almost head-on with the train Pam was travelling in.
0:06:28 > 0:06:34That impact was the same as hitting a stationary object at 130mph.
0:06:35 > 0:06:37The results were devastating.
0:06:39 > 0:06:42- NEWS REPORT:- The emergency teams fought to reach the injured
0:06:42 > 0:06:46in the tangled wreckage and to recover the bodies of the dead.
0:06:46 > 0:06:50An estimated 650 people were sitting or standing on board
0:06:50 > 0:06:52when both trains collided.
0:06:52 > 0:06:57The first and obvious question the investigators will have to answer
0:06:57 > 0:06:59is how could all the safety checks fail,
0:06:59 > 0:07:01allowing these two packed trains
0:07:01 > 0:07:04to be directed onto the same stretch of track?
0:07:06 > 0:07:10And what injuries did you have when you first went into the hospital?
0:07:10 > 0:07:13OK, I had what they call full thickness burns,
0:07:13 > 0:07:18ie, I'd lost all layers of skin to parts of my legs,
0:07:18 > 0:07:25my hands and also from my top lip upwards, the whole of my face.
0:07:26 > 0:07:29- NEWS REPORT:- At least six hospitals in the capital
0:07:29 > 0:07:32were put on major incident alert and were receiving casualties.
0:07:32 > 0:07:36But several patients remain in a critical condition.
0:07:36 > 0:07:38Pam's injuries were so severe
0:07:38 > 0:07:42that for three weeks, she was in intensive care in a coma.
0:07:43 > 0:07:47During that time, surgeons performed skin grafts on her hands and face.
0:07:49 > 0:07:52- So, I got to see the grafted bits. - Right.
0:07:53 > 0:07:56Which is why, to me, the injuries weren't as bad
0:07:56 > 0:08:00- as they must have been while I was unconscious.- Right.
0:08:00 > 0:08:04Though Pam was spared the sight of her injuries at their very worst,
0:08:04 > 0:08:07even a month after the crash, they were still devastating.
0:08:07 > 0:08:11Her face was so badly burnt that, in order for it to heal,
0:08:11 > 0:08:16she had to wear a plastic mask 23 hours a day for the next 18 months.
0:08:16 > 0:08:20Her masked face became a defining image of the rail disaster
0:08:20 > 0:08:23that was seen all round the world.
0:08:23 > 0:08:25I've got two ways I know.
0:08:25 > 0:08:29I can start screaming and saying, "How dare this happen to me?"
0:08:29 > 0:08:31Or you have to think, "Right, I'm going listen
0:08:31 > 0:08:34"to the advice I'm given and I'm going to work on it."
0:08:34 > 0:08:37Cos you were known as the "Lady in the Mask".
0:08:37 > 0:08:40- That was my... It still IS my moniker.- Is it?
0:08:40 > 0:08:42People still refer to me as the Lady in the Mask.
0:08:42 > 0:08:46But that vision, even now, for me, I remember seeing that.
0:08:46 > 0:08:49- In the papers and stuff?- Yeah. - Yeah, I mean, that took me back,
0:08:49 > 0:08:52when the media picked up on the mask,
0:08:52 > 0:08:54but I'm really grateful to that mask.
0:08:54 > 0:08:57- I've still got it at home. - Have you?- Yeah.
0:08:57 > 0:09:01- It's like an old friend. I mean, it's not up anywhere.- Right.
0:09:01 > 0:09:04But it's sort of wrapped up and then popped away.
0:09:04 > 0:09:06Cos you come across as somebody
0:09:06 > 0:09:09- that's got an amazing inner strength.- When you're tested...
0:09:11 > 0:09:16..by an incident that makes you re-evaluate everything in life
0:09:16 > 0:09:20and then puts you, yourself, to the test,
0:09:20 > 0:09:23and is trying to break you, that's when you suddenly realise,
0:09:23 > 0:09:27"Actually I can do a lot more than I thought I could."
0:09:27 > 0:09:29To get to the site of the crash,
0:09:29 > 0:09:33we're going to retrace the journey Pam made from Reading station
0:09:33 > 0:09:35on that fateful morning 17 years ago.
0:09:37 > 0:09:40Since being involved in the crash, Pam does still use the train,
0:09:40 > 0:09:43but it's something she never finds easy.
0:09:43 > 0:09:46When I started catching the train again...
0:09:47 > 0:09:52- Oh, God, that first journey, I gritted my teeth and did it.- Right.
0:09:52 > 0:09:56I had to run off to the loo halfway through and throw up profusely.
0:09:56 > 0:10:02Um, but I did it, and the sense of elation,
0:10:02 > 0:10:07once I'd got to my appointment and then could sort of relax.
0:10:07 > 0:10:09And they all stood up and gave me a standing ovation,
0:10:09 > 0:10:12- which was lovely.- Ah, how amazing.
0:10:19 > 0:10:24- So, here we are. The station.- Yeah. - Are you OK?- Yeah, yeah.
0:10:25 > 0:10:29'Since the crash, Pam has suffered from post-traumatic stress disorder.
0:10:29 > 0:10:31'Today's journey is a challenge for her
0:10:31 > 0:10:34'but it's one she's determined to face up to.
0:10:34 > 0:10:39'She has a carefully designed routine to help her make the trip.'
0:10:39 > 0:10:42My psychologist has helped me, where we've developed this strategy
0:10:42 > 0:10:46of creating a sort of protective bubble around myself.
0:10:46 > 0:10:48And how do you do that?
0:10:48 > 0:10:50It's almost like a form of meditation.
0:10:50 > 0:10:53You're putting yourself into a zone where you have to sit there
0:10:53 > 0:10:56and think to yourself, "Should something bad happen again,
0:10:56 > 0:11:00- "then that's the way it has to be." - OK.
0:11:00 > 0:11:03"However, I am safe, I am comfortable, I am warm."
0:11:03 > 0:11:07And then I use music to distract my thought processes.
0:11:09 > 0:11:11'Pam is returning to the station
0:11:11 > 0:11:14'where, on a crisp, clear morning in 1999,
0:11:14 > 0:11:17'she set out on a journey she'd made countless times before.
0:11:20 > 0:11:23'As a young and ambitious financial advisor,
0:11:23 > 0:11:26'Pam was headed to London for a training course.
0:11:26 > 0:11:29'Little did she know her life was about to change forever.'
0:11:31 > 0:11:33- I'm OK at the moment.- Good.
0:11:38 > 0:11:39When you're here, in this station now,
0:11:39 > 0:11:43- you obviously think about the journey that you made.- Yeah.
0:11:43 > 0:11:46It was one of those autumn days. There wasn't a cloud in the sky.
0:11:46 > 0:11:48- It was that bright sunny blue. - Right.
0:11:48 > 0:11:50And I always remember, I was stood on the platform
0:11:50 > 0:11:53and although it was October, I was wearing warm clothes
0:11:53 > 0:11:55- but I didn't have a jacket on. - Right.
0:11:55 > 0:11:59I only had gloves on to keep my hands warm and some sunglasses.
0:11:59 > 0:12:03I looked up and was enjoying the sunshine, thinking,
0:12:03 > 0:12:05- "Isn't it lovely to be alive?" - Goodness me!
0:12:05 > 0:12:08Little knowing exactly what was about to happen to me
0:12:08 > 0:12:10about 20 minutes later.
0:12:16 > 0:12:20I will need to... I was going to say leave you.
0:12:20 > 0:12:23Not physically leave you but I have my coping mechanisms
0:12:23 > 0:12:25that my psychologist and I came up with,
0:12:25 > 0:12:28- which does involve some loud music, I'm afraid.- No problem with that.
0:12:28 > 0:12:31And then when we get on the platform,
0:12:31 > 0:12:34- I have my back... as the train comes in.- OK.
0:12:34 > 0:12:38- And I just, as I say, I go into my bubble.- OK.
0:12:38 > 0:12:40- But that prepares me to then get on the train.- OK.
0:12:40 > 0:12:42And hopefully it won't be too packed.
0:12:42 > 0:12:45- But if you need me, I'm here. - Oh, thank you, thank you.
0:12:45 > 0:12:47- I mean it.- Thank you very much.
0:12:47 > 0:12:49You can feel my hands have already gone cold, haven't they?
0:12:49 > 0:12:53Freezing cold. You're making MY heart go now, as well, honestly.
0:12:55 > 0:12:59'I honestly can't imagine how Pam must feel boarding this train
0:12:59 > 0:13:03'after all she's been through, but making this journey is something
0:13:03 > 0:13:05'that's very important to her.
0:13:15 > 0:13:17'As part of her coping mechanism,
0:13:17 > 0:13:19'Pam is listening to music on her headphones
0:13:19 > 0:13:21'and has asked me not to talk to her
0:13:21 > 0:13:25'whilst we're travelling, so that she can remain focused.
0:13:25 > 0:13:28'Our journey takes us past Ladbroke Grove junction,
0:13:28 > 0:13:31'the very spot where the crash happened...
0:13:32 > 0:13:35'..before we finally arrive at Paddington.'
0:13:42 > 0:13:45- How are you doing? - Yep, I am actually fine.- Good.
0:13:45 > 0:13:48That's probably been the best journey I've had for a long time.
0:13:48 > 0:13:50- Really? Oh, I'm glad.- Thank you.
0:13:54 > 0:13:56'I'm so happy the journey's gone well for Pam,
0:13:56 > 0:13:59'but there's one more important thing she wants to do.
0:13:59 > 0:14:04'She's brought me to Ladbroke Grove Junction, the site of the crash.'
0:14:04 > 0:14:07So this is actually where the crash happened.
0:14:07 > 0:14:11Yeah, this is... where the two trains met.
0:14:12 > 0:14:16- In fact, I think the signal's just at that bridge.- Right.
0:14:16 > 0:14:19That's the one that the Thames Turbo went through.
0:14:19 > 0:14:23- And you were coming at a pace this way.- We were coming this way, yeah.
0:14:23 > 0:14:26We were at full tilt because we had the green light,
0:14:26 > 0:14:29so there was no reason to have slowed down.
0:14:31 > 0:14:34I can't begin to imagine what it looked like here
0:14:34 > 0:14:37when those two trains hit one another.
0:14:37 > 0:14:39Well, obviously, I mean, I was badly injured,
0:14:39 > 0:14:42although I didn't realise how badly. However, I was conscious,
0:14:42 > 0:14:46even afterwards, and because of this embankment,
0:14:46 > 0:14:48the only way they could get me to the ambulances was to hoist me
0:14:48 > 0:14:51on a chair up from the bottom.
0:14:51 > 0:14:54So, of course, when I get to about that level,
0:14:54 > 0:15:00- where that rail is, I then had a whole view.- Oh, my God.
0:15:00 > 0:15:03But, do you know, Aled, the only thing I can keep thinking,
0:15:03 > 0:15:06my brain actually went - and I think this was survival mode -
0:15:06 > 0:15:09"Don't take it in. You have enough to cope with at the moment.
0:15:09 > 0:15:11"Do not take this in." So I didn't.
0:15:11 > 0:15:15Pam was one of 523 people injured in the crash.
0:15:15 > 0:15:18Many of those involved did not survive.
0:15:18 > 0:15:22Incredible to think that 31 people, as you say, lost their lives there.
0:15:22 > 0:15:25Yeah, yeah. And I must admit...
0:15:25 > 0:15:28on the 5th October, every single year, even now, 16 years later,
0:15:28 > 0:15:32I stop whatever I'm doing and I'm quiet for a couple of minutes.
0:15:35 > 0:15:38'Those who died in the crash are not forgotten.
0:15:38 > 0:15:41'Today, a garden overlooking the rail line commemorates their loss.'
0:15:43 > 0:15:48So this is the memorial to the 31 that lost their lives.
0:15:48 > 0:15:53- Yes, which I think is a tasteful memorial.- It is, very much so.
0:15:53 > 0:15:56- Cos this was actually paid for by the public donations.- Oh.
0:15:56 > 0:15:59That's how this garden came about.
0:15:59 > 0:16:01- You were lucky you didn't lose your life.- Yeah.
0:16:01 > 0:16:03And you were lucky, as well,
0:16:03 > 0:16:06in the support that you got to rehabilitate as well.
0:16:06 > 0:16:11Yes, absolutely. There were a lot of people that helped support me
0:16:11 > 0:16:15and I wouldn't be here without them. But thank God they did.
0:16:15 > 0:16:19- Yeah, I'm glad you brought me here. - Thank you. I'm pleased you came.
0:16:26 > 0:16:29'For Pam, this visit has clearly revived memories
0:16:29 > 0:16:31'of all she's been through
0:16:31 > 0:16:36'and I'm hoping it'll help focus her mind on who she can help today.'
0:16:36 > 0:16:39Coming up, the team have been working hard to track down someone
0:16:39 > 0:16:42whose story we hope will really resonate with Pam,
0:16:42 > 0:16:45and we think we've found them.
0:16:45 > 0:16:48She's an inspirational young woman whose story echoes Pam's own.
0:16:48 > 0:16:50She thinks we're making a programme
0:16:50 > 0:16:53about people with life-changing injuries
0:16:53 > 0:16:56and has no idea she could be in for an incredible gift.
0:16:56 > 0:16:59Pam's road to recovery has been a long one
0:16:59 > 0:17:02but there were two key things that helped her through the dark times.
0:17:02 > 0:17:06First, she set up the Paddington Survivors Group,
0:17:06 > 0:17:08which met in this very hotel.
0:17:08 > 0:17:10It gave her a fresh sense of purpose,
0:17:10 > 0:17:14as a passionate campaigner for rail safety
0:17:14 > 0:17:17which, in turn, led to a whole new career as a professional speaker.
0:17:17 > 0:17:21And, just as importantly, she had the support of a man
0:17:21 > 0:17:24who knew exactly what she was going through.
0:17:24 > 0:17:27So go on, then, what's the significance of this place?
0:17:27 > 0:17:29Well, this brings back so many memories
0:17:29 > 0:17:32because it was the first positive step I took after hospital,
0:17:32 > 0:17:35because I wanted to set up a group of survivors, purely,
0:17:35 > 0:17:39- to start off with, as emotional support for each other.- Right.
0:17:39 > 0:17:42Was there one person who you turned to for emotional support
0:17:42 > 0:17:43more than anyone else?
0:17:43 > 0:17:47Yes, eventually, after I'd been through a heck of a downturn,
0:17:47 > 0:17:52I always remember the one person I didn't expect to have time to help,
0:17:52 > 0:17:56- but did, was Simon Weston.- Ah. - And I refer to him as my guru.
0:17:56 > 0:18:00We've been good friends ever since but, in a way, he became my guru.
0:18:00 > 0:18:03- OK. I know him quite well, as well, actually.- Oh, do you?- Yeah.
0:18:03 > 0:18:06- Of course, you're Welsh lads, aren't you?- Yeah, we all know each other!
0:18:06 > 0:18:08- Shall we have a little wander? - Yes, OK.- Great.
0:18:08 > 0:18:11'Pam doesn't know it, but we've brought her here
0:18:11 > 0:18:13'for a special meeting.'
0:18:13 > 0:18:18- There's the reason I've brought you out here.- Ah, right, OK.
0:18:18 > 0:18:21- Really nice to see you, pal. - Are you good?- I'm good, thanks.
0:18:21 > 0:18:25- Hello, darling.- Are you good, sweetie?- Yes, I'm fine.
0:18:25 > 0:18:30- Well, this is a lovely reunion.- Yes, he's one of my favourite people.
0:18:30 > 0:18:32Simon Weston knows what it's like
0:18:32 > 0:18:35to endure traumatic life-changing injuries.
0:18:37 > 0:18:39As a soldier in the Falklands, in 1982,
0:18:39 > 0:18:42he was on the troop ship, the Sir Galahad, when it was bombed.
0:18:42 > 0:18:46He suffered burns to 46% of his body.
0:18:48 > 0:18:51It was Simon's openness in publicly discussing
0:18:51 > 0:18:52his difficult road to recovery
0:18:52 > 0:18:55that encouraged Pam to reach out to him
0:18:55 > 0:18:58when she was experiencing her own crisis.
0:18:58 > 0:19:00So how did you first meet?
0:19:00 > 0:19:04Pam had let it be known that she'd like to speak to me,
0:19:04 > 0:19:07so I managed to get her telephone number and I phoned her up.
0:19:07 > 0:19:09And he was so lovely and so charming and he said,
0:19:09 > 0:19:13"Why don't you come up and meet me and we can have a good old chat."
0:19:13 > 0:19:16So, yes, I did the trip, didn't I?
0:19:16 > 0:19:19You did, yeah, you arrived in a car and we were there for about...
0:19:19 > 0:19:25- Hours.- ..four, five, maybe six hours, talking, drinking tea.
0:19:25 > 0:19:28Are there parallels in your story, would you say, then?
0:19:28 > 0:19:30Without a doubt.
0:19:30 > 0:19:34How the fire hits you is not really as relevant
0:19:34 > 0:19:37- as the fact that it does hit you. - Right.
0:19:37 > 0:19:39And in both of our circumstances,
0:19:39 > 0:19:42- we were both wide awake when it happened.- Mm.
0:19:42 > 0:19:44So you remember everything that happened.
0:19:44 > 0:19:46EXPLOSION Simon was on the tank deck
0:19:46 > 0:19:49of the Sir Galahad when the fireball ripped through it.
0:19:51 > 0:19:5522 of the 30 men in his platoon died.
0:19:57 > 0:20:01Simon survived but his injuries left him psychologically traumatised.
0:20:05 > 0:20:09You go through hospital and then it's when hospital disappears,
0:20:09 > 0:20:13when all those people and the noise and the crowds disappear,
0:20:13 > 0:20:17that's when you need somebody who can understand where you're walking,
0:20:17 > 0:20:19and why you aren't sleeping
0:20:19 > 0:20:23and why you've got all these disruptive patterns to your life.
0:20:23 > 0:20:25Simon was actually the first person I admitted
0:20:25 > 0:20:29I was having self-destructive, you know, pushing everyone away,
0:20:29 > 0:20:32life-threatening thoughts and feelings and actions,
0:20:32 > 0:20:37and he then said to me, "Well, I've been there."
0:20:37 > 0:20:38And it was almost like a switch, wasn't it?
0:20:38 > 0:20:41It was almost like I turned round and said, "Oh, thank God!"
0:20:41 > 0:20:44And all of a sudden, Pam was sitting with somebody
0:20:44 > 0:20:46that went, "Yeah, I went through it."
0:20:46 > 0:20:49Went through what, though, would you say?
0:20:49 > 0:20:52There's altered body image, loss of identity,
0:20:52 > 0:20:55breakdown of relationships,
0:20:55 > 0:20:57career paths altered or lost,
0:20:57 > 0:21:00- and you go through a huge amount of self-loathing...- Yeah.
0:21:00 > 0:21:04..because of the appearance and the facial scarring and disfigurement.
0:21:04 > 0:21:08And all of those things go on and you've got to deal with that.
0:21:08 > 0:21:11Pam struggled in the years following the crash,
0:21:11 > 0:21:14until she finally reached a point where she hit rock-bottom.
0:21:14 > 0:21:16But knowing he was then in my corner,
0:21:16 > 0:21:18and he offered me his friendship straightaway,
0:21:18 > 0:21:22that just gave me that bit of hope and it helped enormously,
0:21:22 > 0:21:27so everything I have become since, there's a lot of...
0:21:27 > 0:21:29- it's down to Simon. - It's a strange relationship.
0:21:29 > 0:21:33It's forged out of something that's so horrific for both of us.
0:21:33 > 0:21:35- Adversity. - But I had greater experience
0:21:35 > 0:21:37and I'd had longer to get over it.
0:21:37 > 0:21:39How do you feel about the fact that, you know,
0:21:39 > 0:21:42Pam now almost wants to do what you did to her?
0:21:42 > 0:21:46She wants to go back and give back to somebody who's struggling.
0:21:46 > 0:21:48Sometimes everybody needs a word of advice - everybody.
0:21:48 > 0:21:51It doesn't matter how long you've been doing things,
0:21:51 > 0:21:53you always look for guidance somewhere.
0:21:53 > 0:21:57If, by what I've done and the way I've lived my life,
0:21:57 > 0:22:00is something of a signpost as to what can work
0:22:00 > 0:22:03and what can help others, then that's hugely flattering.
0:22:03 > 0:22:07It's very rewarding because it means that it wasn't for nothing.
0:22:07 > 0:22:09And, Pam, for you, coming back here,
0:22:09 > 0:22:13has it reinforced that feeling of wanting to help somebody else?
0:22:13 > 0:22:17It's again reminded me of where I've come, how far I've come.
0:22:17 > 0:22:21And, again, if I can then help somebody on their road to that...
0:22:21 > 0:22:25And who knows? That person may end up, in 15 or 16 years,
0:22:25 > 0:22:27wanting to do exactly what Simon wanted to do for me
0:22:27 > 0:22:29and I want to do for somebody else.
0:22:29 > 0:22:33So it might become a self-fulfilling prophecy. Who knows?
0:22:33 > 0:22:36For Pam, this return journey into her past
0:22:36 > 0:22:38has sparked powerful memories.
0:22:38 > 0:22:4131 people died and I was so badly burnt and injured
0:22:41 > 0:22:44that I should have been the 32nd victim.
0:22:44 > 0:22:46'She's been brave enough to relive
0:22:46 > 0:22:48'the terrible day that changed her life.'
0:22:48 > 0:22:50I was stood on that platform and I looked up
0:22:50 > 0:22:52and was enjoying the sunshine,
0:22:52 > 0:22:55thinking, "Isn't it lovely to be alive?"
0:22:55 > 0:22:58'But, most importantly, it's focused her mind
0:22:58 > 0:23:01'on those who were there for her when she was in need.'
0:23:01 > 0:23:04There were a lot of people that helped support me
0:23:04 > 0:23:06and I wouldn't be here without them.
0:23:08 > 0:23:11Bringing Pam back to the place where her life changed forever
0:23:11 > 0:23:14and meeting the man who helped her when she hit rock-bottom
0:23:14 > 0:23:18has definitely reminded Pam of the incredible journey that she's made.
0:23:18 > 0:23:21It's also reinforced in her that desire to want to give
0:23:21 > 0:23:24something back to someone who's going through difficulties today.
0:23:24 > 0:23:27Of course, there are many people who could benefit from Pam's help,
0:23:27 > 0:23:29but we think we've found somebody
0:23:29 > 0:23:32whose story has many parallels with her own.
0:23:37 > 0:23:42Last year, 23-year-old Phyllida was spending her summer break
0:23:42 > 0:23:44from university volunteering in Africa.
0:23:44 > 0:23:46On her first day there,
0:23:46 > 0:23:49the minivan she was travelling in crashed into a coach.
0:23:51 > 0:23:53Phyllida was badly injured and, like Pam,
0:23:53 > 0:23:58she emerged from her accident with life-changing facial injuries.
0:23:59 > 0:24:03Phyllida thinks we're making a programme about survivors of trauma
0:24:03 > 0:24:06and has no idea that Pam is on a mission to give something back.
0:24:07 > 0:24:11Actually, I am so excited about meeting Phyllida.
0:24:11 > 0:24:15I've read about her and I've read her back story
0:24:15 > 0:24:18and there is quite a lot there, actually, that resonates. It's...
0:24:18 > 0:24:21Although they're two very different experiences,
0:24:21 > 0:24:23there was a lot there that...
0:24:23 > 0:24:25It could have been me talking 15 years ago.
0:24:25 > 0:24:28So I'm really looking forward to meeting her and then exploring
0:24:28 > 0:24:31whether there's a possibility that I might be able
0:24:31 > 0:24:33to give something to her, to give back.
0:24:38 > 0:24:42- Hi, Phyllida.- Hi, nice to meet you. - How lovely to meet you.- And you.
0:24:42 > 0:24:45- Do you mind if I call you Phyll? - Yeah, absolutely fine.- Thank you.
0:24:45 > 0:24:50- Lovely day.- I know, it's so nice. Maybe a little bit TOO sunny.
0:24:50 > 0:24:52I was so excited about meeting you.
0:24:52 > 0:24:55- I've read a little bit about what happened to you.- Yeah.
0:24:55 > 0:24:58But I don't know any more than that.
0:24:58 > 0:25:00The accident happened a year ago.
0:25:00 > 0:25:03- Is it only a year?- Only a year. - Goodness me.
0:25:03 > 0:25:05But it seems like a million years ago.
0:25:05 > 0:25:07Phyllida had only just arrived in Ghana,
0:25:07 > 0:25:09where she was going to spend the summer
0:25:09 > 0:25:13volunteering with a local charity, when the accident happened.
0:25:13 > 0:25:16We were supposed to be going on safari that evening,
0:25:16 > 0:25:19so we were driving overnight to go to safari.
0:25:19 > 0:25:21And then at about four o'clock in the morning,
0:25:21 > 0:25:25we collided with another vehicle when we were trying to overtake.
0:25:25 > 0:25:28And the whole left side of the vehicle, where I was sitting,
0:25:28 > 0:25:31just crumbled in and that was where the impact was.
0:25:31 > 0:25:33Oh, my goodness.
0:25:33 > 0:25:37So the degree of severity was obviously, the driver was the worst,
0:25:37 > 0:25:41and then another guy, Jamie, and then myself and then another guy.
0:25:41 > 0:25:44- But did all four of you survive? - Everyone survived.
0:25:44 > 0:25:45- Small mercies.- An absolute blessing.
0:25:45 > 0:25:48Phyllida was asleep when the crash happened.
0:25:48 > 0:25:51At first, she didn't realise the full extent of her injuries.
0:25:51 > 0:25:53The first thing I did was feel my face
0:25:53 > 0:25:57and I could just feel that it was all cut open
0:25:57 > 0:26:00and I kept drifting in and out of consciousness
0:26:00 > 0:26:02and then the next time I woke up, we were on the road
0:26:02 > 0:26:05and there was all of these people kind of, you know,
0:26:05 > 0:26:08bustling around us and trying to help us.
0:26:08 > 0:26:13There was no ambulance, there was no police, it was just all locals.
0:26:13 > 0:26:16In a funny sort of way, that sounds so similar, cos I remember
0:26:16 > 0:26:18when the train crash happened,
0:26:18 > 0:26:20the emergency services couldn't get to us
0:26:20 > 0:26:23cos there were too many barriers, so for quite a while
0:26:23 > 0:26:25it was down to the uninjured survivors
0:26:25 > 0:26:27- helping the injured survivors.- Yeah.
0:26:27 > 0:26:31One of Phyllida's fellow passengers flagged down a passing bus
0:26:31 > 0:26:34which took the injured to a remote local hospital.
0:26:34 > 0:26:37There, Phyllida's face was hurriedly stitched
0:26:37 > 0:26:39to prevent her losing any more blood.
0:26:40 > 0:26:43That was then undone and resewn up by plastic surgeons
0:26:43 > 0:26:46but at the time, it was done out of emergency,
0:26:46 > 0:26:50I was in the middle of a waiting room and the hospital...
0:26:50 > 0:26:52The girl that was awake, she had to knock on the door
0:26:52 > 0:26:55and turn the lights on in this hospital,
0:26:55 > 0:26:56so it was all a bit kind of rushed.
0:26:56 > 0:26:59But at that point, I hadn't spoken to my parents yet,
0:26:59 > 0:27:02so then I looked at myself, I got my phone back and I was like,
0:27:02 > 0:27:06"I'm going to ring my dad, but I'm not going to ring my mum
0:27:06 > 0:27:09"cos she'll freak out, so I'm going to ring my dad first."
0:27:09 > 0:27:12I said, "Don't worry, but I need to tell you something."
0:27:12 > 0:27:16Oh, yeah, that was the hardest part.
0:27:17 > 0:27:21After six days in hospital in Ghana, Phyllida was flown back home,
0:27:21 > 0:27:24where she was immediately admitted to the local hospital.
0:27:24 > 0:27:27There, doctors discovered that she had undiagnosed injuries,
0:27:27 > 0:27:31which included broken ribs, hips and spine.
0:27:31 > 0:27:34Surgeons set to work to try and minimise
0:27:34 > 0:27:36the damage that had been done.
0:27:36 > 0:27:40- It turned out that I'd had a wound in the back of my head as well.- Oh!
0:27:40 > 0:27:42And that hadn't been undone.
0:27:42 > 0:27:44The nurses here likened that
0:27:44 > 0:27:48to chicken wire that they'd done it up with.
0:27:48 > 0:27:51The crash left Phyllida scarred for life.
0:27:51 > 0:27:54As Pam knows, facial disfigurement challenges
0:27:54 > 0:27:57a person's whole sense of who they are.
0:27:58 > 0:28:02I remember my reaction when I first looked at my face in the mirror.
0:28:02 > 0:28:03How did YOU feel?
0:28:03 > 0:28:07I was lucky enough that my phone came out of the crash unscathed.
0:28:07 > 0:28:12- Right.- So I took a picture of myself and it was bizarre.
0:28:12 > 0:28:16I was on a lot of painkillers but it was just a bit... I don't know.
0:28:16 > 0:28:18- It was all... - You couldn't quite work out...
0:28:18 > 0:28:22No, I didn't really start to deal with anything
0:28:22 > 0:28:23until I went back to uni.
0:28:23 > 0:28:27That was when I suddenly felt like a human again, but at the same time
0:28:27 > 0:28:30I also felt like I wasn't myself
0:28:30 > 0:28:33and everything was called into question,
0:28:33 > 0:28:36like the way I was dressing, the way I did my hair
0:28:36 > 0:28:38and whether I would do it the same,
0:28:38 > 0:28:43whether I was now this... whether I could still pull off...
0:28:43 > 0:28:45I got rid of all my piercings
0:28:45 > 0:28:48and didn't want to wear bright colours any more
0:28:48 > 0:28:50cos I didn't want to attract attention to myself.
0:28:50 > 0:28:54Cos I forget all the time. I was at a country fair the other day
0:28:54 > 0:28:56and I was being sold this cream,
0:28:56 > 0:29:00and I go, and I'm like, "Can you do something for my eczema?"
0:29:00 > 0:29:02"Oh, you can put it on your scar too."
0:29:02 > 0:29:06And then that threw me and then I could feel my heart
0:29:06 > 0:29:08and I was getting a bit...
0:29:08 > 0:29:13Cos I just suddenly remembered that there was something different.
0:29:14 > 0:29:18Phyllida has had to undergo numerous reconstructive operations
0:29:18 > 0:29:23over the past year, which have been traumatic at times.
0:29:23 > 0:29:25There was a chunk of glass that was still in my forehead
0:29:25 > 0:29:28seven months later, so I had that out a couple of months ago,
0:29:28 > 0:29:30and that was just a local anaesthetic
0:29:30 > 0:29:32and I was awake the whole time
0:29:32 > 0:29:36and the moment the anaesthetic went in,
0:29:36 > 0:29:40everything...everything came back. And I wasn't expecting it.
0:29:40 > 0:29:43I went in, "Oh, I can handle this. I've been through everything."
0:29:43 > 0:29:45And then you had a flashback.
0:29:45 > 0:29:47I was trembling and the nurse had to hold my hand.
0:29:47 > 0:29:52You don't expect these sudden bouts of, you know, a down day,
0:29:52 > 0:29:56or whatever, and then it comes and it just overwhelms you a little bit.
0:29:56 > 0:29:59The hardest part was obviously straight after the accident
0:29:59 > 0:30:01and I had all of these plans and then, you know,
0:30:01 > 0:30:06I was straight back with my parents, and it was like I was a child again
0:30:06 > 0:30:10and I reverted straight back to just being miserable
0:30:10 > 0:30:13- and not having the energy to do anything.- Mm.
0:30:13 > 0:30:18I didn't eat, it was just... Everything was exhausting.
0:30:18 > 0:30:20Emotional turmoil.
0:30:20 > 0:30:22Bear in mind what you've been through is huge.
0:30:22 > 0:30:24I think that's why I was so keen to meet you
0:30:24 > 0:30:26- because I was identifying with your story.- Yeah.
0:30:26 > 0:30:29I know it's very different but you've got to remember,
0:30:29 > 0:30:32even somebody who would go through less than we have,
0:30:32 > 0:30:35- they will get post-traumatic stress disorder...- Mm.
0:30:35 > 0:30:39..which does involve flashbacks, nightmares, even throwing up.
0:30:39 > 0:30:42I haven't yet had a chance to really talk to anyone
0:30:42 > 0:30:47that's been in a similar situation, so it's good to get your insight.
0:30:48 > 0:30:51For both Pam and Phyllida, a key part of their road to recovery
0:30:51 > 0:30:54has been talking about their experiences publicly.
0:30:54 > 0:30:59Phyllida has been working with the facial disfigurement charity
0:30:59 > 0:31:02Changing Faces, which has encouraged her to share her story
0:31:02 > 0:31:06with young people who are also facing challenges.
0:31:06 > 0:31:07Phyll, it may be too early,
0:31:07 > 0:31:10but have you had any thoughts about what you might want to do?
0:31:10 > 0:31:14Well, recently, I was actually able to, through the charity,
0:31:14 > 0:31:18do a talk at a Teenage Cancer Trust event with teenagers,
0:31:18 > 0:31:22and it was this weekend retreat called Find Your Sense of Tumour.
0:31:22 > 0:31:26- Oh, clever!- So, there were all these workshops and things
0:31:26 > 0:31:28that was just trying to give them a boost, basically,
0:31:28 > 0:31:31and they asked me to go along and give a talk and it was incredible.
0:31:31 > 0:31:33It was...
0:31:33 > 0:31:36Obviously, I've never had cancer
0:31:36 > 0:31:40but I tried to still give my insight from my perspective,
0:31:40 > 0:31:42going through trauma,
0:31:42 > 0:31:45going through loss at a young age.
0:31:45 > 0:31:48And it's about being motivational but being real.
0:31:48 > 0:31:51This is something Pam can identify with.
0:31:51 > 0:31:53Her career as a professional speaker
0:31:53 > 0:31:55has been based on using her experience
0:31:55 > 0:31:59of overcoming trauma and adversity to inspire others.
0:31:59 > 0:32:03You've actually sent the hairs on the back of my neck going up.
0:32:03 > 0:32:05That is so well-balanced.
0:32:07 > 0:32:11Gosh, I am completely blown away by you, I really am, honestly.
0:32:11 > 0:32:14Goodness me! Crikey, I'm going to have to recover for a bit!
0:32:16 > 0:32:18- Would you like to do it again? - Yeah, definitely,
0:32:18 > 0:32:20if somewhere will have me.
0:32:20 > 0:32:21Look, before I go,
0:32:21 > 0:32:25I will leave you my contact details, and I mean this sincerely -
0:32:25 > 0:32:29I want you to feel free to contact me at any time,
0:32:29 > 0:32:31- even if you're just feeling a bit down.- Yeah.
0:32:31 > 0:32:35Because, in a way, we're almost part of an exclusive club.
0:32:35 > 0:32:38If there's one person that's going to understand how you feel,
0:32:38 > 0:32:40I think I will.
0:32:40 > 0:32:43Well, as I said, it has been an absolute pleasure to meet you.
0:32:43 > 0:32:45Thank you so much.
0:32:45 > 0:32:48And I think you're an extraordinary young woman
0:32:48 > 0:32:50and you're going to go on and do big things.
0:32:50 > 0:32:52- I can definitely see that happening. - Thank you so much.
0:32:52 > 0:32:56So what has Pam made of her encounter with Phyllida
0:32:56 > 0:32:59and does she feel she's found someone she can help?
0:32:59 > 0:33:01Wow, what an impressive girl!
0:33:01 > 0:33:04I cannot believe, for such a young lady,
0:33:04 > 0:33:07that she's so mature and grounded
0:33:07 > 0:33:10and I love the energy I was getting off her
0:33:10 > 0:33:13and I think, if anyone deserves a break, it's definitely her
0:33:13 > 0:33:16and, yeah, I would like to help her, and I'm actually going to...
0:33:19 > 0:33:21Excuse me a minute.
0:33:33 > 0:33:34Now Pam needs to take some time
0:33:34 > 0:33:37to work out just what she can do for Phyllida.
0:33:37 > 0:33:40Enabling people to make a positive change in their lives
0:33:40 > 0:33:44is something Pam does all the time as a motivational speaker.
0:33:44 > 0:33:47How will she help Phyllida take the next step in her life?
0:33:56 > 0:33:59Well, it's been a few days since I saw Pam, and during that time
0:33:59 > 0:34:01she's met up with Phyllida,
0:34:01 > 0:34:03whose story really struck a chord with her.
0:34:03 > 0:34:07Phyllida reminded Pam of herself 15 years ago,
0:34:07 > 0:34:11a year after her incident, and it really made her quite emotional.
0:34:11 > 0:34:13She was bowled over by Phyllida's strength,
0:34:13 > 0:34:15but hearing what she's going through
0:34:15 > 0:34:18reminded her of how difficult that time is.
0:34:18 > 0:34:20Well, I'm on my way to meet Pam now.
0:34:20 > 0:34:22It's time to find out how she's feeling
0:34:22 > 0:34:25and whether she's ready to change someone's life.
0:34:25 > 0:34:27It's a massive decision.
0:34:36 > 0:34:38Phyllida is enjoying a picnic with her friends in a local park.
0:34:38 > 0:34:42Unbeknown to her, I'm meeting Pam just around the corner
0:34:42 > 0:34:44to find out what she's decided.
0:34:44 > 0:34:46- Hi.- Nice to see you.- And you.
0:34:46 > 0:34:49- Another beautiful day. - Isn't it just?
0:34:49 > 0:34:56- So you've met Phyllida. - I have, yes, and, well, goodness me!
0:34:56 > 0:34:59Her attitude is just amazing. It's, um...
0:34:59 > 0:35:01She's got obviously a lot of determination.
0:35:01 > 0:35:05She wants to help other people, which bodes well for the future,
0:35:05 > 0:35:09- and there's just something that radiates off her.- Right.
0:35:09 > 0:35:13- Are you going to help her? - I am, yes. I really would like to.
0:35:13 > 0:35:15She mentioned, during the conversation,
0:35:15 > 0:35:17how much she enjoyed standing up
0:35:17 > 0:35:19and speaking in front of people, and of course
0:35:19 > 0:35:22- that's what I do for a living. - It's like looking in the mirror.
0:35:22 > 0:35:24Yes, so I suddenly went, "A-ha."
0:35:24 > 0:35:26So let's get down to the nitty-gritty.
0:35:26 > 0:35:28How are you going to help her?
0:35:28 > 0:35:31What I do remember, when I was starting out, was how hard it was.
0:35:31 > 0:35:34So I think I could really give her direction
0:35:34 > 0:35:37and, if you like, leap her ahead of the learning curve
0:35:37 > 0:35:39that most people would have to go through.
0:35:39 > 0:35:42So, I know there's a particularly good workshop
0:35:42 > 0:35:44that's specifically designed for speakers
0:35:44 > 0:35:47- to teach them about sales and marketing.- OK.
0:35:47 > 0:35:49- So that might be a good thing for her to do.- OK.
0:35:49 > 0:35:53One of the best things, though, is probably for her to attend
0:35:53 > 0:35:57the Professional Speakers Association's annual conference.
0:35:57 > 0:35:59- Where's that? - It's in Nottingham.- OK.
0:35:59 > 0:36:02All the speakers from round the country get together
0:36:02 > 0:36:04and in fact international speakers
0:36:04 > 0:36:07from every single country you can think of fly in for that conference.
0:36:07 > 0:36:11- OK.- What I'd probably do is organise for Phyll to come with me
0:36:11 > 0:36:14- and introduce her to some of the movers and shakers.- Wow.
0:36:14 > 0:36:15Networking in that environment
0:36:15 > 0:36:17I think will do her career a power of good.
0:36:17 > 0:36:20And then, best of all, I still have a mentor.
0:36:20 > 0:36:23He has agreed to meet Phyll for me
0:36:23 > 0:36:26and then he will give her a two-hour workshop.
0:36:26 > 0:36:30He will then see whether he can mentor Phyll as he mentored me.
0:36:30 > 0:36:33Isn't this going to cost a lot of money, all this?
0:36:33 > 0:36:37- Yes, it's going to cost over £2,500. - Gosh, that's very generous of you.
0:36:37 > 0:36:41However, I feel that if I can give her the step-up
0:36:41 > 0:36:46and to put her on about six steps into a career that she wants, um,
0:36:46 > 0:36:48by using MY money, then I'm happy to do so.
0:36:48 > 0:36:50It's amazing, when you think about it,
0:36:50 > 0:36:53cos you could be changing her life forever.
0:36:53 > 0:36:55Oh, I hope that's what...that's how she views it.
0:36:55 > 0:37:00And my reward, in the future, will be if I hear somebody saying,
0:37:00 > 0:37:03"Have you seen that Phyllida Swift speak? She's absolutely fantastic."
0:37:03 > 0:37:06Then I'll be able to sit back and go, "Ha! I started that."
0:37:06 > 0:37:08"I was there at the beginning."
0:37:08 > 0:37:13'Pam has written Phyllida a letter explaining all she wants to say.'
0:37:13 > 0:37:15Because my memory's so shocking,
0:37:15 > 0:37:18- I thought the best thing to do was to put this down in a letter.- OK.
0:37:18 > 0:37:20So I've drafted a letter
0:37:20 > 0:37:25also telling Phyll how much I admire her, how much I hope for her future.
0:37:25 > 0:37:27I've listed everything down and, hopefully...
0:37:27 > 0:37:30I'm slightly nervous about whether she'll accept it or not.
0:37:30 > 0:37:31I'm sure she will.
0:37:31 > 0:37:34Listen, I know she's having a little picnic around the corner
0:37:34 > 0:37:35- with her mates.- Ah.
0:37:35 > 0:37:38So I think we should go and surprise her now, don't you?
0:37:38 > 0:37:41- OK, yes, I would love to sneak up on her.- I can't wait. Come on.
0:37:43 > 0:37:46Phyllida has no idea what's about to happen.
0:37:46 > 0:37:49Just how will she react to Pam's life-changing gift?
0:37:51 > 0:37:54I think they're just round the corner, actually.
0:37:54 > 0:37:56My heart rate's going up, I don't know about yours.
0:37:56 > 0:37:59I am getting more nervous each and every step.
0:37:59 > 0:38:01It's such a massive thing, isn't it?
0:38:01 > 0:38:06What you've got in that letter could change her life forever.
0:38:06 > 0:38:09Yes, when you think about it, that's why I'm so nervous
0:38:09 > 0:38:15because, effectively, I have got, potentially, her dream in my hand.
0:38:15 > 0:38:18- I know you have.- So... - It doesn't get bigger than that.
0:38:18 > 0:38:21INAUDIBLE CHATTER
0:38:23 > 0:38:25- She still hasn't seen us.- I know.
0:38:25 > 0:38:29- She's wrapped up in conversation with her friends.- That's good.
0:38:33 > 0:38:38- Phyllida?- Yeah.- Hi.- Hi. Oh, hello, you're here!
0:38:38 > 0:38:41- Hi, I'm Aled, Aled Jones.- Hi. - Nice to meet you.- Nice to meet you.
0:38:41 > 0:38:44- From the BBC.- Hi.- Um, now listen.
0:38:44 > 0:38:49- You thought we were making a programme just about survivors.- OK.
0:38:49 > 0:38:53- It's not the full story, is it? - No, not at all.
0:38:53 > 0:38:56It's a good thing I didn't have a mouthful of falafel or anything!
0:38:56 > 0:38:58It's a good thing, yes.
0:38:58 > 0:39:01I was so impressed by you yesterday
0:39:01 > 0:39:05and I really like the attitude you've got about moving forward,
0:39:05 > 0:39:08- that I put a few thoughts down in a letter for you.- OK.
0:39:08 > 0:39:12- So I wondered whether you'd like to look at it and read it.- OK.
0:39:12 > 0:39:14- Will you read it out loud? - Yeah.- OK.- Oh, God. OK.
0:39:14 > 0:39:17"Dear Phyll, it has been such a pleasure to meet you
0:39:17 > 0:39:20"and I have been really impressed with your attitude and resilience
0:39:20 > 0:39:23"at what I very well know is such a huge life challenge.
0:39:23 > 0:39:26"As you move forward, please never berate yourself,
0:39:26 > 0:39:29"should you encounter moments of weakness, negativity
0:39:29 > 0:39:31"or the feeling that you can't go on.
0:39:31 > 0:39:34"You can, and I get the impression you will always find a way
0:39:34 > 0:39:37"to rise to whatever obstacle faces you.
0:39:37 > 0:39:40"Always remember the mantra, 'This, too, will pass.'
0:39:40 > 0:39:43"I would dearly like to help you with moving forward
0:39:43 > 0:39:45"to what I hope will be a fulfilling,
0:39:45 > 0:39:47"exciting and rewarding future.
0:39:47 > 0:39:49"As you mentioned that you would love to become
0:39:49 > 0:39:52"a motivational speaker, I would like to gift the following to you.
0:39:52 > 0:39:56"I have thought long and hard about what would have helped me the most
0:39:56 > 0:39:58"when I was starting out on a speaking career
0:39:58 > 0:40:01"and hope that my gift will achieve a flying start
0:40:01 > 0:40:04"in this field for you. During the next 12 months,
0:40:04 > 0:40:07"I will pay towards you getting started and set up
0:40:07 > 0:40:10"as a motivational speaker." Oh, my God!
0:40:10 > 0:40:12"I will cover the costs of membership
0:40:12 > 0:40:14"to the Professional Speakers Association,
0:40:14 > 0:40:17"tickets to a specialist workshop and attendance
0:40:17 > 0:40:20"at this year's three-day Professional Speakers conference.
0:40:20 > 0:40:22"And last but not least,
0:40:22 > 0:40:25"I have arranged for you to have a two-hour meeting
0:40:25 > 0:40:27"with one of the best motivational speakers in the world."
0:40:27 > 0:40:29Oh, my God!
0:40:29 > 0:40:34"If you use my gift as your launchpad into the speaking world,
0:40:34 > 0:40:37"my reward and return will be when I hear your name being mentioned
0:40:37 > 0:40:41"in glowing terms by others as a brilliant speaker in years to come.
0:40:41 > 0:40:44"I can almost see myself already, smilingly privately,
0:40:44 > 0:40:46"knowing that I may have been a small part
0:40:46 > 0:40:48"of the reason for the comments.
0:40:48 > 0:40:51"I truly wish you all the best with whatever your future might be.
0:40:51 > 0:40:52"Do stay in touch.
0:40:52 > 0:40:56"Let me know how life progresses for you and, rest assured,
0:40:56 > 0:40:59"you will have continued support whenever you need it."
0:40:59 > 0:41:03- Thank you so much!- It's a pleasure, honestly. It's a real pleasure.
0:41:04 > 0:41:09- It's amazing.- Oh.- Thank you. That's the best thing ever.- Does that help?
0:41:09 > 0:41:12- Yeah, massively!- Do you think?- Yeah! - It's the best thing ever, you said.
0:41:12 > 0:41:16- Yeah.- What difference will that make to you?
0:41:16 > 0:41:19Obviously, that was the kind of thing I wanted to get into,
0:41:19 > 0:41:23but I had absolutely no idea HOW and this gives me a clear path.
0:41:23 > 0:41:27While you experience all this, I'll make sure I keep an eye on you.
0:41:27 > 0:41:28I won't interfere,
0:41:28 > 0:41:32but I'm there for you to take advice from when you want it.
0:41:32 > 0:41:36I could hear my voice getting all weird when I was saying that.
0:41:36 > 0:41:38I'm so pleased that you're happy, because, you know,
0:41:38 > 0:41:42- you deserve the best. - Thank you.- It's amazing.
0:41:42 > 0:41:45- So, this is it - the start of your journey.- I know!
0:41:45 > 0:41:49- Now I have, like, direction in my life.- Good, good.
0:41:49 > 0:41:52- Listen, we'll let you carry on with your picnic.- Thank you very much.
0:41:52 > 0:41:56- And chat to your mates about it and we'll head off, shall we?- OK.
0:41:56 > 0:41:57- Come on, then.- Thank you so much.
0:41:57 > 0:42:00- Pleasure. Nice to see you. Bye-bye.- Bye.
0:42:00 > 0:42:03Oh, Phyll, that's amazing!
0:42:04 > 0:42:09- I'm so proud of you!- So, now you know what you're going to do.
0:42:09 > 0:42:11- Now I know what I'm going to do. - It's amazing.
0:42:11 > 0:42:14You could just see on her face how much it means to her.
0:42:14 > 0:42:17Which is why I'm hopeful that it IS the beginning
0:42:17 > 0:42:18of a sparkling career for her.
0:42:19 > 0:42:21She was totally surprised!
0:42:21 > 0:42:24- You could hear her voice cracking, couldn't you?- Yeah.
0:42:24 > 0:42:26She's definitely touched by it, so...
0:42:26 > 0:42:29I think Phyll will be an absolutely amazing speaker in the future.
0:42:29 > 0:42:32- She's already the most bubbly, confident person ever.- Yeah.
0:42:32 > 0:42:36So I think this will be a massive platform for her to start,
0:42:36 > 0:42:41you know, doing a lot more work. Exciting stuff ahead of her.
0:42:41 > 0:42:44If it does change her life, then I'll be really happy.
0:42:44 > 0:42:47But that's not why you set out to do these things.
0:42:47 > 0:42:50It is giving back and it's a way of me saying thank you
0:42:50 > 0:42:54to whatever powers there are out there for saving me
0:42:54 > 0:42:57and for making sure that I'm still here
0:42:57 > 0:42:59in order to do this for somebody else.
0:42:59 > 0:43:01I'm so pleased that Pam was able to help Phyllida.
0:43:01 > 0:43:03They're both such courageous people.
0:43:03 > 0:43:07Neither of them are dwelling on negatives in the past.
0:43:07 > 0:43:10They're both focusing on positives and the future
0:43:10 > 0:43:14and today, Pam made Phyllida's future that much brighter.