0:00:14 > 0:00:18They called Bob Hope America's court jester.
0:00:18 > 0:00:22He was the funnyman who became an institution,
0:00:22 > 0:00:26friends with every President from Eisenhower to Bill Clinton
0:00:26 > 0:00:30and with everyone who was anyone in Hollywood.
0:00:30 > 0:00:33He hosted the Oscars more times than anyone else
0:00:33 > 0:00:37and was once the world's highest paid TV star.
0:00:37 > 0:00:41But this icon of America was actually born in England,
0:00:41 > 0:00:43in Eltham, south London,
0:00:43 > 0:00:47which makes him one of Britain's greatest gifts to American comedy.
0:00:47 > 0:00:51And, as we'll see, his English roots were something
0:00:51 > 0:00:55he'd frequently refer to during his many visits here.
0:00:55 > 0:00:57I want to say right here that I was born in England.
0:00:57 > 0:00:59I say that in the hope that those of you
0:00:59 > 0:01:02who don't have a sense of humour will at least be patriotic.
0:01:02 > 0:01:04LAUGHTER
0:01:07 > 0:01:10No, it's true. It's true, I was born here in England.
0:01:10 > 0:01:14Of course, I was marked for export, but it's a great thing... LAUGHTER
0:01:14 > 0:01:16A lot of people don't believe it,
0:01:16 > 0:01:19but I first saw the light of day right here in England.
0:01:19 > 0:01:21I think I was nine at the time. LAUGHTER
0:01:25 > 0:01:27Fog, you know. LAUGHTER
0:01:27 > 0:01:31We don't have fog in Los Angeles, we have smog.
0:01:31 > 0:01:34That's fog with the vitamins removed. LAUGHTER
0:01:34 > 0:01:37But this London fog can really be terrific.
0:01:37 > 0:01:40Last year I was here and a fella pulled up alongside of me
0:01:40 > 0:01:43at the Savoy Hotel in his car and asked me for directions.
0:01:43 > 0:01:46I didn't mind that so much, but I was in the bathtub at the time.
0:01:46 > 0:01:48LAUGHTER
0:01:48 > 0:01:49APPLAUSE
0:01:53 > 0:01:56And on the sixth floor. But, in spite of the fog...
0:01:56 > 0:01:59In spite of the fog, I like it here. And I know that I'm in England...
0:01:59 > 0:02:01I know I'm in England, because this morning
0:02:01 > 0:02:04my stomach got up two hours before I did and had a cup of tea.
0:02:04 > 0:02:06LAUGHTER
0:02:06 > 0:02:08Oh, yes. I love the tea here.
0:02:08 > 0:02:10I've had so much tea, I slosh when I walk.
0:02:10 > 0:02:12LAUGHTER
0:02:12 > 0:02:15You have to drink tea, I've tasted the coffee.
0:02:15 > 0:02:17LAUGHTER
0:02:17 > 0:02:18APPLAUSE
0:02:18 > 0:02:20CHEERING
0:02:24 > 0:02:26No, they have coffee here, only they call it petrol.
0:02:26 > 0:02:28LAUGHTER
0:02:28 > 0:02:32But I've been here many times and I want to tell you it's a thrill
0:02:32 > 0:02:35getting back to England, with the crowds cheering me at the airport
0:02:35 > 0:02:37people lining the sidewalks,
0:02:37 > 0:02:39and Bonnie Prince Charles in the Palace window
0:02:39 > 0:02:42waving a little pennant that says, "Go home Yank."
0:02:42 > 0:02:44LAUGHTER
0:02:44 > 0:02:46CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:02:46 > 0:02:49Of course, I was kind of anxious to get back to London,
0:02:49 > 0:02:52because last time I was here I posed for a statue
0:02:52 > 0:02:56at Madame Tussauds Wax Museum and I was anxious to see it.
0:02:56 > 0:02:58And it puzzled me a little bit the figure,
0:02:58 > 0:03:00I just want to know one thing,
0:03:00 > 0:03:04do all the wax figures have a wick sticking out of their head?
0:03:04 > 0:03:05LAUGHTER
0:03:07 > 0:03:10APPLAUSE And I noticed...
0:03:10 > 0:03:14And I noticed my clothes were kind of ragged on the figure,
0:03:14 > 0:03:17so I said to the guard, I said, "Why is that?"
0:03:17 > 0:03:19He says, "There's nothing we can do about it,
0:03:19 > 0:03:22"people keep pushing you side to get a look at Jack the Ripper." LAUGHTER
0:03:22 > 0:03:25And, by the way, I have some regards for you people
0:03:25 > 0:03:27from some of the British stars working in Hollywood,
0:03:27 > 0:03:29Ronald Colman and James Mason.
0:03:29 > 0:03:32Of course, Mason is very British, he hasn't forgotten he's British.
0:03:32 > 0:03:36In fact, I think that James Mason overdoes the British bit.
0:03:36 > 0:03:40When I go to his house, I don't mind the doorbell playing Pomp And Circumstance,
0:03:40 > 0:03:44but when the butler makes you face Buckingham Palace and bow three times, that's going too far.
0:03:44 > 0:03:46LAUGHTER
0:03:46 > 0:03:49Then, of course, Stewart Granger's doing very well there,
0:03:49 > 0:03:51especially in those costume pictures.
0:03:51 > 0:03:54And what a swordsman he is, he can really duel I want to tell you.
0:03:54 > 0:03:57You can tell he really loves his work, the other day on the set,
0:03:57 > 0:04:00he ran ten men through and five of 'em aren't even in the picture.
0:04:00 > 0:04:02LAUGHTER
0:04:02 > 0:04:05He really went wild that day, the only way they could stop him
0:04:05 > 0:04:07was by threatening to send for Errol Flynn.
0:04:07 > 0:04:08LAUGHTER
0:04:11 > 0:04:16The jokes about fog were ones Bob would return to whenever he was back in England.
0:04:16 > 0:04:19The wisecracks about fellow Hollywood stars
0:04:19 > 0:04:21were also typical of his material.
0:04:21 > 0:04:23He could get away with it
0:04:23 > 0:04:26because he was as big or bigger than all of them,
0:04:26 > 0:04:28thanks in part to the huge success
0:04:28 > 0:04:32of The Road To... films he made with Bing Crosby.
0:04:32 > 0:04:36The last of these was 1962's The Road To Hong Kong,
0:04:36 > 0:04:38which was filmed here in England
0:04:38 > 0:04:43and which led to this appearance on the BBC programme Picture Parade.
0:04:45 > 0:04:47APPLAUSE
0:04:47 > 0:04:49PIANO MUSIC
0:04:53 > 0:04:57Snorkel-head, I'm a little surprised you missed my introduction,
0:04:57 > 0:05:00I can scarcely believe my ears.
0:05:00 > 0:05:03Quit fooling, you must be used to those side plates of yours by now.
0:05:03 > 0:05:06Well, they're very useful, you know, for smoking in bed.
0:05:06 > 0:05:09Listen, we're supposed to be doing this shindig together,
0:05:09 > 0:05:11- what's the delay here? What happened?- Well, naturally,
0:05:11 > 0:05:14I assumed that BBC stands for Ban Bing Crosby. I guess...
0:05:14 > 0:05:17LAUGHTER
0:05:17 > 0:05:20Or Bing Buys Canada, or something like that.
0:05:20 > 0:05:24Besides, I hadn't finished talking about my supporting cast.
0:05:24 > 0:05:28- Your supporting cast?- Uh-huh.- Oh, you mean that wide rubber thing you grip around your waist.- Yeah.
0:05:28 > 0:05:31- A two-way stretcher or whatever it is.- Don't blow your top, Dad,
0:05:31 > 0:05:34it wouldn't be the first time that that thatch went into orbit.
0:05:34 > 0:05:37No, I have it securely anchored, it's really tied on.
0:05:37 > 0:05:40- So you listen to me, Jellyroll, you're being very flip tonight. - Jellyroll?
0:05:40 > 0:05:43- Jellyroll?! Now wait a minute. - What's come over you?
0:05:43 > 0:05:48I've been waiting for ten minutes. Just remember, I give a very superior performance.
0:05:48 > 0:05:51I really think if pressed, if it's demanded of me,
0:05:51 > 0:05:52I could sing till the cows come home.
0:05:52 > 0:05:56Yeah, and from the noise you make, it sounds like they've arrived. LAUGHTER
0:05:56 > 0:06:00Listen, tell me something, what's so special about your performance in On The Road To Hong Kong?
0:06:00 > 0:06:04Well, I happen to be an actor and I can handle any role.
0:06:04 > 0:06:07Uh-huh. I'm sure you can as long as there is plenty of ham in it.
0:06:07 > 0:06:09- LAUGHTER - Hey, why don't you tell the folks here
0:06:09 > 0:06:12about some of the acting you do in the picture.
0:06:12 > 0:06:17Well, you see, I play the part of an unsuccessful variety comedian with a stupid, cowardly disposition.
0:06:17 > 0:06:21Uh-huh. Yeah, and now tell the folks about the acting you do in the picture.
0:06:21 > 0:06:23LAUGHTER
0:06:23 > 0:06:27Listen, you crumbling comb-over, I'm a great actor.
0:06:27 > 0:06:28- What's this?- I'm a great actor.
0:06:28 > 0:06:32I could be another Marlon Brando if I had all my teeth removed.
0:06:32 > 0:06:34- You could mumble. - LAUGHTER
0:06:34 > 0:06:36Anyhow, let's save this brawl for later.
0:06:38 > 0:06:41In reality, brawling was something Bob and Bing never did.
0:06:41 > 0:06:46They had one of Hollywood's closest and most enduring partnerships,
0:06:46 > 0:06:48as demonstrated again here
0:06:48 > 0:06:53when Bob paid a visit to the Parkinson show in 1975.
0:06:55 > 0:06:57How do you find that your humour goes down
0:06:57 > 0:06:59with the new generation of Americans,
0:06:59 > 0:07:02- the young kids?- Oh, well, you know,
0:07:02 > 0:07:05you wouldn't be on television as long as I've been on it
0:07:05 > 0:07:09if you didn't go down. You know, the kids in our country,
0:07:09 > 0:07:13they own the knob on the television sets.
0:07:13 > 0:07:15- Really?- Do you know, the kids nine, ten, and 11
0:07:15 > 0:07:17are in charge of the knob. LAUGHTER
0:07:17 > 0:07:19I'm serious.
0:07:19 > 0:07:21They're the ones that turn it on
0:07:21 > 0:07:23and the folks say, "Oh, yeah, that's it, huh?"
0:07:23 > 0:07:25LAUGHTER
0:07:25 > 0:07:28They turn it on most of the places and they go with that.
0:07:28 > 0:07:32- That's extraordinary.- And I saw a little kid the other day,
0:07:32 > 0:07:33I was walking through some airport
0:07:33 > 0:07:37and a little kid about this high said, "Do-do-do!"
0:07:37 > 0:07:39Looked at me. "Do-do-do!"
0:07:39 > 0:07:41LAUGHTER
0:07:44 > 0:07:47I was Bob Doom! LAUGHTER
0:07:47 > 0:07:49It worried the hell out of him who I was.
0:07:49 > 0:07:50LAUGHTER
0:07:50 > 0:07:55Then I had a woman walk up to me in Dallas...last year,
0:07:55 > 0:07:57she was about 80 years old,
0:07:57 > 0:08:00she said, "Mr Hope, I've been watching you for ever!"
0:08:00 > 0:08:02LAUGHTER
0:08:02 > 0:08:04APPLAUSE
0:08:06 > 0:08:09APPLAUSE DROWNS OUT DIALOGUE
0:08:09 > 0:08:11Bing told you what happened?
0:08:11 > 0:08:13- He must've told you what happened to him over here.- What was that?
0:08:13 > 0:08:16When the woman walked up and said, "Didn't you used to be Bing Crosby?
0:08:16 > 0:08:18LAUGHTER
0:08:18 > 0:08:20- Did he use that line?- Yeah.
0:08:20 > 0:08:23I love that. It happens all the time.
0:08:23 > 0:08:27We've got a message, in fact, from one of your younger fans.
0:08:27 > 0:08:30Coming up...on the screen in a moment.
0:08:30 > 0:08:33Too young to be let out to come to the show, but on tape.
0:08:33 > 0:08:37Hiya, Michael. I wanted to tell you how delighted I am
0:08:37 > 0:08:41that you found something for Bob Hope to do while he's hanging around London.
0:08:41 > 0:08:44But I want to sing a little song for you now.
0:08:44 > 0:08:46# My dear, Michael
0:08:46 > 0:08:49# Now that you've got Hope on your show
0:08:49 > 0:08:54# There's a few things I must tell you he can do
0:08:55 > 0:08:57# His singing's slight
0:08:57 > 0:09:01# His dancing very non-descript
0:09:01 > 0:09:04# But he'll go out front and entertain the queue... #
0:09:04 > 0:09:06LAUGHTER
0:09:06 > 0:09:08# ..Old pal, old bean
0:09:08 > 0:09:09# By which I mean
0:09:09 > 0:09:12# He'll find an ear on which to lean
0:09:12 > 0:09:15# Describing with relentless zeal
0:09:15 > 0:09:19# His sex appeal which ain't quite real... #
0:09:19 > 0:09:20LAUGHTER
0:09:20 > 0:09:25# ..But if he does well in this illustrious company
0:09:25 > 0:09:28# When he comes back
0:09:28 > 0:09:32# I'll let him work for me. #
0:09:32 > 0:09:33APPLAUSE
0:09:35 > 0:09:38- Cute. Thank you.- Lovely.
0:09:40 > 0:09:45That's something. Isn't it nice that he would stand up for that long?
0:09:45 > 0:09:46LAUGHTER
0:09:48 > 0:09:49APPLAUSE Isn't that nice?
0:09:53 > 0:09:56- His orange juice commercials don't come over here, do they?- No.
0:09:56 > 0:09:59You know, he's been selling Minute Maid orange juice
0:09:59 > 0:10:01and he right now,
0:10:01 > 0:10:05he's probably just left the factory where he squeezes oranges.
0:10:05 > 0:10:06LAUGHTER
0:10:06 > 0:10:09Which at his age is an emotional experience.
0:10:09 > 0:10:10LAUGHTER
0:10:17 > 0:10:21Are you going to tell us the truth now? How, when, did you first meet?
0:10:21 > 0:10:23- Bing?- Hm.
0:10:23 > 0:10:25I...I was a Boy Scout.
0:10:25 > 0:10:27LAUGHTER
0:10:27 > 0:10:30And I saw this old lady waiting for the traffic light.
0:10:30 > 0:10:33And I walked over and helped her to cross
0:10:33 > 0:10:34and it turned out to be Bing.
0:10:34 > 0:10:36LAUGHTER
0:10:36 > 0:10:37PARKY LAUGHS
0:10:37 > 0:10:41- But seriously?- No, I met Bing,
0:10:41 > 0:10:44I think, around...1932.
0:10:44 > 0:10:47And we played the Capitol Theatre in New York.
0:10:47 > 0:10:50And, luckily for me,
0:10:50 > 0:10:56we did an act together. Like...two farmers meeting on the street.
0:10:56 > 0:10:58The president of the Coca-Cola company
0:10:58 > 0:11:00meeting the president of the Pepsi-Cola Company on the street,
0:11:00 > 0:11:03which I did at the Palladium with Jerry Desmond.
0:11:03 > 0:11:06You know, where they say, "Good to see you." BOB BELCHES
0:11:06 > 0:11:08You know. LAUGHTER
0:11:11 > 0:11:13"A larger bottle." You know, all that stuff.
0:11:13 > 0:11:16And the two farmers where you milk the thing, you know.
0:11:16 > 0:11:19Bop, bop, bop, bop. bop. And the two politicians,
0:11:19 > 0:11:22where you go in each other's pockets and all that kind of thing.
0:11:22 > 0:11:24And they loved that kind of stuff, you know.
0:11:24 > 0:11:27And when we... When I went out to Hollywood,
0:11:27 > 0:11:29before the Road pictures,
0:11:29 > 0:11:32I went down to the Del Mar Turf Club ball,
0:11:32 > 0:11:34which Bing owned part of, a big part of it anyway,
0:11:34 > 0:11:36and...we did our act together.
0:11:36 > 0:11:38And the boys from Paramount saw us and said,
0:11:38 > 0:11:41"These guys really work good together, let's put 'em in something."
0:11:41 > 0:11:45- And they put us this in this picture called Road To Singapore.- Yeah.- And that's how the whole thing started.
0:11:45 > 0:11:47How did the feud developed though?
0:11:47 > 0:11:49- The...- Well, that was a gag for radio,
0:11:49 > 0:11:51where you could have some fun with each other, you know?
0:11:51 > 0:11:54And if I went on his show, they would...
0:11:54 > 0:12:00His writers would say, "He's going to tell a joke down on page nine,
0:12:00 > 0:12:04"about the chicken that moults too early in the year."
0:12:04 > 0:12:08I'm just giving you an example. So on page seven, I would tell it.
0:12:08 > 0:12:10LAUGHTER
0:12:15 > 0:12:18And he'd give me that startled... LAUGHTER
0:12:18 > 0:12:21He'd give me that look. And then he'd double back on me, you know?
0:12:21 > 0:12:23So it kept us kind of awake, you know?
0:12:23 > 0:12:25- And we did that in pictures after a while.- Hmm.
0:12:25 > 0:12:27We used to steal jokes from each other.
0:12:27 > 0:12:30- Marvellous, we just had more fun. - It looks a marvellous relationship.
0:12:30 > 0:12:35- Have you ever had a cross word? Have you ever had a row?- No.- Not at all?
0:12:35 > 0:12:38- Never?- You can't have a row with him, because he just walks away.
0:12:38 > 0:12:41- He doesn't row with anybody.- No.
0:12:41 > 0:12:43I was the loudmouth. If anything happened,
0:12:43 > 0:12:45I'd say, "Well, I'll go up and tell 'em."
0:12:45 > 0:12:48And Bing would say, "Yeah, find out about it. LAUGHTER
0:12:48 > 0:12:50And he'd go to the golf course and wait.
0:12:50 > 0:12:51LAUGHTER
0:12:51 > 0:12:55No, he's... He wouldn't fight with you anyway.
0:12:55 > 0:12:57There's a contrast in the two of you,
0:12:57 > 0:13:01because he does take life very easily, doesn't he?
0:13:01 > 0:13:04- He sort of relaxes all the time. - He sure does, but he loves to be on,
0:13:04 > 0:13:06he's as hammy as anybody.
0:13:06 > 0:13:08- That's true.- It's true.- Yes, it is true.
0:13:08 > 0:13:11- I admire him for it, because you have to be in our business, you know?- Yes.
0:13:11 > 0:13:14I sleep on a hook at night, but he's got...
0:13:14 > 0:13:17He's got a clove right there. LAUGHTER
0:13:17 > 0:13:19And he's...he's a delightful ham.
0:13:19 > 0:13:23Looking into the research, there's an extraordinary amount of jobs
0:13:23 > 0:13:26that you did before eventually you went onstage.
0:13:26 > 0:13:27I'll just quote some of them.
0:13:27 > 0:13:31You were a butcher's mate, a shoe salesman, a pool hustler,
0:13:31 > 0:13:34- stock boy in a meat market.- Right. Pool hustler I like.
0:13:34 > 0:13:38A golf caddie and you once sold newspapers to John D Rockefeller.
0:13:38 > 0:13:41- That's right, when I was a paperboy. - Really?- Uh-huh.
0:13:41 > 0:13:44- Did any of that rub off on you, John D Rockefeller?- A little.
0:13:44 > 0:13:47Just a little. A little oil.
0:13:47 > 0:13:50- How much of a hustler were you in those days?- Oh, I wasn't.
0:13:50 > 0:13:53You know, we just used to hang around the pool room
0:13:53 > 0:13:56and clown around, you know, hustle each other.
0:13:56 > 0:13:58- Hm.- Nothing serious.
0:13:58 > 0:14:00And I did that while I was going to dancing school,
0:14:00 > 0:14:04- because the guys I used to hang around with used to play pool.- Yeah.
0:14:04 > 0:14:07You were also once a boxer too, weren't you?
0:14:07 > 0:14:09Yeah, you're getting into the nasty stuff, aren't you?
0:14:09 > 0:14:12Well, that fascinated me because you don't really look like a boxer.
0:14:12 > 0:14:15You saw my nose from that angle and you...
0:14:15 > 0:14:17I did, I fought under the name of Rembrandt Hope,
0:14:17 > 0:14:20I was on the canvas so much.
0:14:20 > 0:14:21LAUGHTER
0:14:21 > 0:14:23APPLAUSE
0:14:23 > 0:14:26APPLAUSE DROWNS OUT DIALOGUE
0:14:26 > 0:14:30I love... I love boxing, I really do.
0:14:30 > 0:14:32And I used to love to climb into the ring.
0:14:32 > 0:14:34I don't remember ever leaving it.
0:14:34 > 0:14:36LAUGHTER
0:14:36 > 0:14:38But I was an amateur, I didn't...
0:14:38 > 0:14:40After a while I could get a little money,
0:14:40 > 0:14:43they used to lay it on the stretcher alongside me as I left.
0:14:43 > 0:14:46We've got a clip of you in action, actually,
0:14:46 > 0:14:48making your comeback. In Madison Square Garden, wasn't it?
0:14:48 > 0:14:50Right, the opening of Madison Square Garden.
0:14:50 > 0:14:53And, in fact, your opponent is Rocky Marciano.
0:14:53 > 0:14:54Here we are. Let's have a look.
0:14:54 > 0:14:57- So you're the champ, huh?- Yeah!
0:14:57 > 0:14:58BOB GROWLS
0:14:58 > 0:15:00ROCKY GROWLS
0:15:00 > 0:15:02BOB PURRS
0:15:02 > 0:15:05BOTH GROWL
0:15:05 > 0:15:07Thank you, Sonny & Cher.
0:15:07 > 0:15:09LAUGHTER
0:15:09 > 0:15:12Now listen, boys, I want a good, clean fight. Break clean, no biting.
0:15:12 > 0:15:14Remember now, no hitting below the belt.
0:15:14 > 0:15:17- Watch it.- Oh, the old rules, huh? - Yeah.- Well, OK.
0:15:17 > 0:15:19LAUGHTER
0:15:39 > 0:15:42BOTH: # Pat-a-cake, pat-a-cake
0:15:42 > 0:15:45# Bake a cake as fast as you can! #
0:15:45 > 0:15:47LAUGHTER
0:15:47 > 0:15:49APPLAUSE
0:15:50 > 0:15:53Boy, I've been waiting 30 years for that!
0:15:53 > 0:15:55APPLAUSE
0:16:00 > 0:16:02Although he was the world's most successful comedian,
0:16:02 > 0:16:06Bob was always open about the fact that his jokes
0:16:06 > 0:16:11were written by teams of writers he'd employed from the beginning of his career.
0:16:11 > 0:16:14He was also comfortable with people knowing
0:16:14 > 0:16:18that during performances he'd read his lines off cue cards,
0:16:18 > 0:16:24as can be seen in this fascinating recording from New Year's Eve, 1969.
0:16:26 > 0:16:28No, I was born in England, I really was.
0:16:28 > 0:16:31It was a typically British birth, I was three at the time.
0:16:31 > 0:16:34You know, they had a strike in the maternity ward
0:16:34 > 0:16:38and I came out in sympathy. LAUGHTER
0:16:38 > 0:16:41I was in London just a few weeks ago for the opening of my new movie,
0:16:41 > 0:16:43How To Commit Marriage,
0:16:43 > 0:16:46and people came to the West End from miles around for the occasion.
0:16:46 > 0:16:50My relatives always show up when it's free. LAUGHTER
0:16:50 > 0:16:54But I hope you get to see How To Commit Marriage, because this movie is different,
0:16:54 > 0:16:57my co-star Jackie Gleason couldn't make the opening...
0:16:57 > 0:16:59You goofed it there.
0:17:01 > 0:17:04That's after. You got that card in the wrong place, Barne.
0:17:04 > 0:17:07Take the card out of the middle. That's right. Now put it back.
0:17:07 > 0:17:09LAUGHTER
0:17:09 > 0:17:12Now, what are we going to do about that? Shall we start over or what?
0:17:12 > 0:17:15- ALL:- Yeah!
0:17:15 > 0:17:16Cut. Cut it, Mort.
0:17:16 > 0:17:19Cut it. Are they going to be able to cut this thing? Cut it.
0:17:19 > 0:17:22- You want to slate it again, Woody? - Yeah.
0:17:22 > 0:17:24But I do hope you get to see How To Commit Marriage,
0:17:24 > 0:17:26because this movie is different,
0:17:26 > 0:17:29the actors wear clothes and the ushers are nude.
0:17:29 > 0:17:31LAUGHTER
0:17:31 > 0:17:34My co-star, Jackie Gleason, couldn't make the opening,
0:17:34 > 0:17:36they told him at the airport that he was overweight,
0:17:36 > 0:17:38and that's tough when you haven't got any luggage.
0:17:38 > 0:17:40LAUGHTER
0:17:40 > 0:17:43The picture played to enormous audiences in New York,
0:17:43 > 0:17:46they even enjoyed the movie that was on with it, Hello, Dolly!
0:17:46 > 0:17:50LAUGHTER And I was hoping the Royal Family would attend,
0:17:50 > 0:17:54but they had a prior commitment, Princess Anne was hosting a sale of hats at Buckingham Palace.
0:17:54 > 0:17:56LAUGHTER
0:17:56 > 0:17:58No, I know all the Royal family personally,
0:17:58 > 0:18:02the Queen, Prince Philip and their financial adviser, Jack Benny.
0:18:02 > 0:18:05LAUGHTER But I'm kidding,
0:18:05 > 0:18:08all those reports about Her Majesty's money problems are just rumours.
0:18:08 > 0:18:10And Richard Burton is furious,
0:18:10 > 0:18:13he wanted first refusal on the Crown Jewels.
0:18:13 > 0:18:16LAUGHTER No, all the stars were in London,
0:18:16 > 0:18:19I saw Liberace in Park Lane walking hand in hand with himself.
0:18:19 > 0:18:21LAUGHTER
0:18:21 > 0:18:23HUBBUB
0:18:24 > 0:18:28And I... And I bumped into Douglas Fairbanks Jr,
0:18:28 > 0:18:31he was on his way to The London Clinic for a monocle transplant. LAUGHTER
0:18:31 > 0:18:35And, you know, there's a new flag flying over the British Embassy,
0:18:35 > 0:18:36it shows the Duke of Edinburgh
0:18:36 > 0:18:40playing polo on a field of travellers cheques. LAUGHTER
0:18:40 > 0:18:42And I had a beautiful suite at the Savoy.
0:18:42 > 0:18:44I love it, they are so polite there,
0:18:44 > 0:18:49one morning the water in my bathtub gurgled and a pageboy walked in and said, "Pardon?"
0:18:49 > 0:18:50LAUGHTER
0:18:50 > 0:18:53No, the Savoy Hotel is really steeped in tradition.
0:18:53 > 0:18:57In fact, the towels don't say His & Hers, they're marked Mine & Thine.
0:18:57 > 0:18:59But I love the British.
0:18:59 > 0:19:03I asked a Londoner how he felt about the Apollo moon landings
0:19:03 > 0:19:06and he said, "Splendid, but we hate show-offs."
0:19:09 > 0:19:13The moon landing references were, of course, very 1969,
0:19:13 > 0:19:17and that's one reason for the incredible longevity of Bob Hope's career,
0:19:17 > 0:19:23the ease with which he blended tried and trusted jokes with more up-to-the-minute material.
0:19:23 > 0:19:26There are examples of each type of humour
0:19:26 > 0:19:29in this appearance on Parkinson.
0:19:29 > 0:19:31Let's start with him discussing
0:19:31 > 0:19:35the and then highly topical Hollywood actors strike of 1980.
0:19:36 > 0:19:38It's good actually to have you here,
0:19:38 > 0:19:41because you've got lots of industrial problems
0:19:41 > 0:19:44over in your profession at present with the actors strike.
0:19:44 > 0:19:47- It's all fixed, isn't it? Isn't the strike over?- Is it?- I think so.
0:19:47 > 0:19:49- Is it?- It was quite a thing, though.
0:19:49 > 0:19:51Everybody was picketing out there from their good side.
0:19:51 > 0:19:53LAUGHTER
0:19:53 > 0:19:55APPLAUSE
0:19:59 > 0:20:02Actually, Michael, they were picketing, you know,
0:20:02 > 0:20:05the stars, who make plenty of money,
0:20:05 > 0:20:07they were picketing and it's the first time
0:20:07 > 0:20:10I've ever seen a picket line with a maitre d'.
0:20:10 > 0:20:14But they were really picketing for the bit people, you know,
0:20:14 > 0:20:18because there's 63,000 actors that lay around waiting for work.
0:20:18 > 0:20:21So the stars were really trying to get it for them,
0:20:21 > 0:20:24trying to get all these residuals. And it's a funny kind of a strike
0:20:24 > 0:20:27when a fellow can walk off a job and get into his Rolls-Royce
0:20:27 > 0:20:30and walk out and get into his swimming pool
0:20:30 > 0:20:33and refuse to come out unless they improve working conditions.
0:20:33 > 0:20:34LAUGHTER
0:20:34 > 0:20:36That's America, I want to tell you that.
0:20:36 > 0:20:39And after laughs about the latest events,
0:20:39 > 0:20:42here's one of his golden-oldie gags
0:20:42 > 0:20:45about his favourite leisure pastime, golf.
0:20:45 > 0:20:48- Which was the best golfing story? - The best golfing story?
0:20:48 > 0:20:50Let me see. How about the fella playing
0:20:50 > 0:20:52and he came to this hole in one.
0:20:52 > 0:20:56He said, "I've never had a hole in one. If I could get a hole-in-one, I'd give anything in the world.
0:20:56 > 0:20:59This little genie jumped up on his shoulder and said, "Anything?"
0:20:59 > 0:21:03The genie said, "Would you give five years of your sex life?" He said, "Yeah, I think I would."
0:21:03 > 0:21:06And he knocked his ball, it wasn't too good, but it hit a rock,
0:21:06 > 0:21:08went up and fell in the hole. He said, "A hole in one!"
0:21:08 > 0:21:10He walked to the next hole, a par 5,
0:21:10 > 0:21:14he said, "I've never had a birdie on this hole. If I could get a birdie, I'd give anything in the world."
0:21:14 > 0:21:18And this little genie jumped up and said, "Anything? Would you give ten years of your sex life?"
0:21:18 > 0:21:21He said, "Ten years?! But, yes, I would." He said, "Well, play."
0:21:21 > 0:21:24And he hit three pretty good shots and his fourth shot wasn't too good,
0:21:24 > 0:21:27but it hit a bench and rolled in the cup. He said, "How do you like that,
0:21:27 > 0:21:31"a hole in one and a birdie the same day. This is the greatest day of my golfing career."
0:21:31 > 0:21:35And the genie jumped on his shoulder and said, "I didn't get your name." And he said, "Father O'Toole."
0:21:35 > 0:21:37LAUGHTER
0:21:37 > 0:21:38APPLAUSE
0:21:40 > 0:21:42How many American Presidents have you played golf with?
0:21:42 > 0:21:46Oh, I don't know. Let me see, Ford... I play with Ford all the time.
0:21:46 > 0:21:50I love to play with him, it's nice to get some money back from the government.
0:21:50 > 0:21:52LAUGHTER
0:21:52 > 0:21:56Ford and Nixon and Kennedy and...Lyndon Johnson.
0:21:56 > 0:21:58- About four of 'em.- Which was the best golfer?
0:21:58 > 0:22:01I think... Oh, Eisenhower a lot.
0:22:01 > 0:22:04We all played with Ike, cos he just loved the game.
0:22:04 > 0:22:08- What was it like playing with Eisenhower?- Well, you had to play,
0:22:08 > 0:22:14because... The first time I played with him was about 1951.
0:22:14 > 0:22:17He'd just been assigned the presidency
0:22:17 > 0:22:20and I played with him and I played as his partner.
0:22:20 > 0:22:22And we played for a dollar, dollar, dollar at Burning Tree
0:22:22 > 0:22:26against Symington and Prescott Bush, who were too fine golfers.
0:22:26 > 0:22:28And I played lousy.
0:22:28 > 0:22:31At that time I was a six and I hit an 84 and we had to pay off.
0:22:31 > 0:22:33The next day, I played against the President,
0:22:33 > 0:22:36I wasn't playing with him, but we all had lunch and made bets, you know,
0:22:36 > 0:22:40and I shot a 75 and I beat him for four dollars.
0:22:40 > 0:22:44And he looked me in the eye as I was paying him off, he said,
0:22:44 > 0:22:47"Why didn't you play this way yesterday?" LAUGHTER
0:22:47 > 0:22:49And it's hard to ad lib with a president about things like that.
0:22:49 > 0:22:51Yes, absolutely. Who was the one
0:22:51 > 0:22:54who had the best sense of humour, do you think?
0:22:54 > 0:22:56I think maybe...maybe Kennedy.
0:22:56 > 0:22:59- Yeah, Kennedy liked to tell jokes. - Hm.
0:22:59 > 0:23:03On politics, I mean, did you have any political ambition yourself?
0:23:03 > 0:23:06No, no. I've been asked to a couple of times, but the money is not right.
0:23:06 > 0:23:08LAUGHTER
0:23:11 > 0:23:14No, it's not. And I'd hate to move to a smaller house.
0:23:14 > 0:23:16LAUGHTER
0:23:16 > 0:23:17APPLAUSE
0:23:20 > 0:23:21You've just come back from Moscow, haven't you?
0:23:21 > 0:23:24- Yeah, I was in Moscow.- What were you doing there?
0:23:24 > 0:23:29I was doing a show for the US Ambassador and I did a show for all the people in the embassy.
0:23:29 > 0:23:32- And I also did one for the British Embassy, by the way.- Uh-huh.
0:23:32 > 0:23:34And we had a little trouble over there,
0:23:34 > 0:23:37- I was thrown, out of the Kremlin. - Why?
0:23:37 > 0:23:40Well, I was walking around and I saw a star on the door and thought it was my dressing room.
0:23:40 > 0:23:42LAUGHTER
0:23:42 > 0:23:44APPLAUSE
0:23:49 > 0:23:53You are of course... It's amazing the amount of work you still do.
0:23:53 > 0:23:57- You're a rich man, a very rich man. - Not too rich after today. LAUGHTER
0:23:57 > 0:24:00- Not after today, no.- No. But you could retire if you wanted to?
0:24:00 > 0:24:03Dickie has all my money. LAUGHTER
0:24:03 > 0:24:07Marlon Brando once said that if they were opening a phone booth that you'd turn up.
0:24:07 > 0:24:09- Erm... - LAUGHTER
0:24:11 > 0:24:13- Brando?!- That's what he said.
0:24:13 > 0:24:17Brando never said a funny line in his life. LAUGHTER
0:24:17 > 0:24:22That was Crosby. He said when they open the icebox and the light goes on, I do 20 minutes.
0:24:22 > 0:24:24LAUGHTER
0:24:26 > 0:24:28I do get around, I'll tell you that.
0:24:28 > 0:24:32You've done everything in your life, you won more than 1,000 awards,
0:24:32 > 0:24:34never got an Academy Award, have you?
0:24:34 > 0:24:37You had to bring that up, didn't you? LAUGHTER
0:24:37 > 0:24:40- I'm sorry.- You sure know how to wound a star. LAUGHTER
0:24:40 > 0:24:44No, I've been... Let me tell you something, you can make great, great pictures,
0:24:44 > 0:24:48I made 60 pictures, and you can come out with a picture
0:24:48 > 0:24:51that you think should be nominated for something
0:24:51 > 0:24:55and you find out you're with Gone With The Wind and Boom Town, you know.
0:24:55 > 0:24:59I haven't given up, I still have my speech ready. LAUGHTER
0:24:59 > 0:25:01I don't know how long I've had it, but it's in Latin.
0:25:01 > 0:25:03LAUGHTER
0:25:08 > 0:25:11An Oscar would certainly have been nice,
0:25:11 > 0:25:14but Bob Hope didn't need it to prove anything.
0:25:14 > 0:25:18By any standards, his 70-year career was extraordinary.
0:25:18 > 0:25:25The king of one-liners finally signed out aged 100 in 2003.
0:25:25 > 0:25:28His passing made headlines across the world
0:25:28 > 0:25:33and many of the eulogies were accompanied by this, his signature song
0:25:33 > 0:25:36called, appropriately, Thanks For The Memory.
0:25:36 > 0:25:38APPLAUSE
0:25:40 > 0:25:45# Thanks for the memory
0:25:45 > 0:25:48# Of being on your show
0:25:48 > 0:25:51# You take things nice and slow
0:25:51 > 0:25:53# It's lovely being here with you
0:25:53 > 0:25:55# But where did Christmas go?
0:25:56 > 0:25:59# Oh, thank you so much
0:26:01 > 0:26:05# Thanks for the memory
0:26:05 > 0:26:08# Of what England means to me
0:26:08 > 0:26:11# A tea bag in my tea
0:26:11 > 0:26:13# The country's run by Chrysler
0:26:13 > 0:26:16# And there's Kojak on TV... #
0:26:16 > 0:26:17LAUGHTER
0:26:17 > 0:26:19# ..Oh, thank you so much
0:26:21 > 0:26:25# I was going to give you a present
0:26:25 > 0:26:30# For making my stay here so pleasant
0:26:30 > 0:26:34# A turkey perhaps or a pheasant
0:26:36 > 0:26:38# But here I am
0:26:38 > 0:26:40# A well-boiled ham
0:26:40 > 0:26:45# So thanks for the memory
0:26:45 > 0:26:47# Of tonight with Michael P
0:26:47 > 0:26:50# Who's been so nice to me
0:26:50 > 0:26:55# His kindness was enormous in contrast to the fee... #
0:26:55 > 0:26:56LAUGHTER
0:26:56 > 0:26:58# ..Transportation's not important
0:26:58 > 0:27:01# I'll walk back across the sea
0:27:01 > 0:27:06# So thank you so much. #
0:27:06 > 0:27:08Thank you. APPLAUSE
0:27:12 > 0:27:15- Thank you. - APPLAUSE
0:27:23 > 0:27:26Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd