Ken Dodd

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0:00:14 > 0:00:16With his electric shock hair and those unmissable teeth,

0:00:16 > 0:00:20Ken Dodd has the face that launched a thousand quips.

0:00:21 > 0:00:22For a time in the '60s and '70s,

0:00:22 > 0:00:25Doddy was Britain's most successful comic,

0:00:25 > 0:00:27and the BBC's highest-paid entertainer.

0:00:28 > 0:00:31He was a national phenomenon.

0:00:31 > 0:00:34That meant filling theatres across the country,

0:00:34 > 0:00:38and being booked on the nation's top chat shows.

0:00:38 > 0:00:40- APPLAUSE - Young man, back there!

0:00:40 > 0:00:42- All right?- Yes.- At last.

0:00:42 > 0:00:44Is Ken Dodd your real name?

0:00:44 > 0:00:45- No, it's an anagram.- An anagram?

0:00:45 > 0:00:47LAUGHTER

0:00:50 > 0:00:52- It's a joke!- It's a joke.

0:00:52 > 0:00:54What is the anagram of?

0:00:54 > 0:00:55Den Kodd.

0:00:56 > 0:00:58And you're from... Clear this up.

0:00:58 > 0:01:01Is Knotty Ash mythical or real?

0:01:01 > 0:01:03Oh, no, Knotty Ash is a real place.

0:01:03 > 0:01:06A lot of people think it is a figleaf of my imagination, but, no,

0:01:06 > 0:01:07it's a real place.

0:01:07 > 0:01:10Knotty Ash, a little village about four and a half miles east

0:01:10 > 0:01:12of Liverpool, and it's there all right, and we have...

0:01:12 > 0:01:15That's where we have all the Knotty Ash industries, you know,

0:01:15 > 0:01:17the snuff quarries and broken biscuit repair works...

0:01:17 > 0:01:19LAUGHTER

0:01:19 > 0:01:22..and the gravy wells, where we export Knotty Ash gravy

0:01:22 > 0:01:25all over the world in our fleet of gravy boats.

0:01:25 > 0:01:26LAUGHTER

0:01:26 > 0:01:27That type of vessel.

0:01:29 > 0:01:31Have you got your right teeth in?

0:01:31 > 0:01:33Oh, these are the ones. Yes.

0:01:33 > 0:01:35Central eating!

0:01:36 > 0:01:38Listen, were they always there, these...?

0:01:38 > 0:01:40I mean, you were born in Knotty Ash, weren't you?

0:01:40 > 0:01:42- Yes, yes.- And raised there.

0:01:42 > 0:01:45- Yes.- All these industries were there were you were a child, I assume?

0:01:45 > 0:01:46Oh, yes, yes. We had them all there.

0:01:46 > 0:01:48The jam butty mines and the treacle wells.

0:01:48 > 0:01:50And... Oh, yes, all there.

0:01:50 > 0:01:53As a matter fact, we have our own motorway sign now, on the M62,

0:01:53 > 0:01:56this lovely big "Knotty Ash". A lot of people come to be all...

0:01:56 > 0:01:58They can't believe it.

0:01:58 > 0:02:01But what kind of childhood did you have, Ken? Very happy. Was it?

0:02:01 > 0:02:03Yes, very, very happy. I think I had the best...

0:02:03 > 0:02:06The best mum and dad in the world. And a brother and a sister.

0:02:06 > 0:02:07There was three of us, one of each.

0:02:07 > 0:02:08LAUGHTER

0:02:10 > 0:02:12Mum and Dad...

0:02:12 > 0:02:14I had a little Diddy Man Daddy and a little Mini Mum.

0:02:14 > 0:02:16And they...

0:02:16 > 0:02:19They all, between them, my family life in Knotty Ash,

0:02:19 > 0:02:21I think, I owe it all to them.

0:02:21 > 0:02:23I started entertaining in Knotty Ash.

0:02:23 > 0:02:25But was there a lot of laughter in the family?

0:02:25 > 0:02:28Oh, yes, yes. A lot of people often say, who is your favourite comic?

0:02:28 > 0:02:29Who's the comedian you model...

0:02:29 > 0:02:30- Well, it's my dad.- Really?

0:02:30 > 0:02:33Definitely. He was a funny man, funniest man I ever knew.

0:02:33 > 0:02:36Very, very funny man. Every Sunday afternoon, when we had...

0:02:36 > 0:02:38You know, you're having your tea, had pineapple chunks.

0:02:38 > 0:02:41LAUGHTER

0:02:41 > 0:02:42Chunks and Carnation.

0:02:44 > 0:02:46After that, my dad was used to do impressions for us

0:02:46 > 0:02:50and sing us songs, like, An N'Egg And Some N'Ham And An N'Onion.

0:02:50 > 0:02:53All his great favourites were, you know,

0:02:53 > 0:02:56Will Hay, Jack Pleasance...

0:02:56 > 0:02:58What about school? Were you a funny lad at school?

0:02:58 > 0:03:00Were you different?

0:03:00 > 0:03:03Er... Oh, yes!

0:03:03 > 0:03:05Yes. Bit difficult, this...

0:03:05 > 0:03:08You see, on one hand, I'm trying to answer you with a sensible remark,

0:03:08 > 0:03:10and on the other hand, the brain, the computer,

0:03:10 > 0:03:13it takes over and you're trying to think of the funny ones.

0:03:13 > 0:03:15Yes, I went to... I was teacher's pet,

0:03:15 > 0:03:17I used to sit in a cage at the back of the classroom.

0:03:17 > 0:03:19LAUGHTER

0:03:19 > 0:03:22I went to a mixed school, we wouldn't drink anything else.

0:03:22 > 0:03:24I went to Knotty Ash... No, I don't think so, I was...

0:03:24 > 0:03:28I was quite... When I was three, I could read,

0:03:28 > 0:03:30and I used to read all these...

0:03:30 > 0:03:32The Wizard, and The Hotspur, and The Rover,

0:03:32 > 0:03:33and that's how it all started.

0:03:33 > 0:03:36One day, in The Wizard, I read this advertisement that said,

0:03:36 > 0:03:39"Fool your teachers, amaze your friends, send sixpence in stamps."

0:03:39 > 0:03:42So I did, and I got this book on how to become a ventriloquist.

0:03:42 > 0:03:43Didn't I? (Yes.) He'll tell you.

0:03:43 > 0:03:45LAUGHTER

0:03:47 > 0:03:50And this little bird warbler you put in your mouth and you go...

0:03:50 > 0:03:52HE WHISTLES LIKE A BIRD

0:03:52 > 0:03:55And months later, through going in the woods a lot

0:03:55 > 0:03:58and lying in the long grass, I became an ornithologist.

0:03:58 > 0:04:01People say it affects your eyesight, but it never has with me.

0:04:01 > 0:04:02LAUGHTER

0:04:02 > 0:04:06You went... Your first job, in fact, wasn't in show business, was it?

0:04:06 > 0:04:08I mean, you were on the knock, on the door, weren't you?

0:04:08 > 0:04:11I worked with my father in a coal business with my brother,

0:04:11 > 0:04:13and then I was on the knocker, as you say.

0:04:13 > 0:04:15You know, going round and selling...

0:04:15 > 0:04:18You know, pots and pans and tickling sticks.

0:04:18 > 0:04:20And I think that's where the "missus" bit started.

0:04:20 > 0:04:24All my life, I've always sold things and served, you know, like,

0:04:24 > 0:04:26tried to serve the... Being of service to the public.

0:04:26 > 0:04:28I still am, I suppose.

0:04:28 > 0:04:30Whereas, at one time, I used to have a bucket and...

0:04:30 > 0:04:34and pan round, now, I have...a tickle round.

0:04:34 > 0:04:36- A laughter round?- Aye.

0:04:36 > 0:04:39Yes. But what about when you started making people laugh professionally?

0:04:39 > 0:04:41What kind of places did you work?

0:04:41 > 0:04:42You can't make people laugh.

0:04:42 > 0:04:44You can only give people laugh.

0:04:44 > 0:04:46Laughter is inside you, you see.

0:04:46 > 0:04:48Everybody has got laughter inside them, and a comic...

0:04:48 > 0:04:51As a comic, all you do is you just touch the spring of laughter.

0:04:51 > 0:04:53Everybody is born, as a baby,

0:04:53 > 0:04:57- you're all born with a chuckle muscle.- A chuckle muscle? - LAUGHTER

0:04:58 > 0:05:01It's worked its way up, past your clack and out through your titter-box.

0:05:01 > 0:05:03It's very like an attack of wind.

0:05:03 > 0:05:05LAUGHTER

0:05:05 > 0:05:07As a baby, you're born with a chuckle muscle

0:05:07 > 0:05:08and if you don't use it...

0:05:08 > 0:05:10You must use your chuckle muscle every day and have a laugh.

0:05:10 > 0:05:12You're doing great, yours is...

0:05:12 > 0:05:15If you don't, it will wither and drop off.

0:05:15 > 0:05:16LAUGHTER

0:05:18 > 0:05:20- Sorry.- No, I was asking you, actually...

0:05:20 > 0:05:23That's your trouble, you shoot off, and then you forget what I asked.

0:05:23 > 0:05:25How did you begin making people laugh?

0:05:25 > 0:05:29I got some jokes, and then, whenever I used to play a club,

0:05:29 > 0:05:32or, I used to go in and ask the steward for a cork.

0:05:32 > 0:05:34- A cork?- It wasn't that I was a nervous performer.

0:05:34 > 0:05:36I just used to...

0:05:36 > 0:05:37LAUGHTER

0:05:38 > 0:05:41I'd burn it and put a big moustache on.

0:05:41 > 0:05:43Because, at 15,

0:05:43 > 0:05:46I didn't think I had the authority to tell gags to grown-ups.

0:05:46 > 0:05:48- I see.- So I started off, and...

0:05:48 > 0:05:52I'd seen this advertisement somewhere which said...

0:05:55 > 0:05:58"Arnold Ramsbottom, plumber and artificial leg maker."

0:05:58 > 0:06:01- So that tickled me. - Artificial leg maker!

0:06:01 > 0:06:04It was the two things...

0:06:04 > 0:06:06And so, I called myself Professor Yaffle Chuckabutty,

0:06:06 > 0:06:09operatic tenor and sausage-knotter.

0:06:09 > 0:06:13And I used to go around telling gags in clubs,

0:06:13 > 0:06:15and then I graduated to Masonics.

0:06:15 > 0:06:16- Are you in the...?- No.

0:06:16 > 0:06:18LAUGHTER

0:06:19 > 0:06:22- Is that what they do? Is that the secret...?- Oh, yes!

0:06:22 > 0:06:25- Didn't you know that? - I didn't know that.

0:06:25 > 0:06:28- Mr Fisher, the producer. - Mr Fisher, my producer?

0:06:28 > 0:06:30Yes, we are... He took me, last week, to join.

0:06:30 > 0:06:33We are now... We know a secret that nobody in the whole world knows about.

0:06:33 > 0:06:35- Don't we, Gladys? - LAUGHTER

0:06:35 > 0:06:38- We're in the Oddfellows, you see. - The Oddfellows?

0:06:38 > 0:06:41And he took me to the Oddfellows Temple, he said, on the way,

0:06:41 > 0:06:44"Doddy, on the way, if anybody stops us on the way, swallow this."

0:06:44 > 0:06:48"What is it?" He said, "An enamel bucket."

0:06:48 > 0:06:51We got to the lodge, we gave the secret knock, thrice,

0:06:51 > 0:06:52or was it force?

0:06:52 > 0:06:54Anyway, somebody opened the door,

0:06:54 > 0:06:56the big door, and chucked a midget out.

0:06:56 > 0:06:59A big fellow opened the door with a long nose. He'd lost his key.

0:06:59 > 0:07:01LAUGHTER

0:07:01 > 0:07:03One big, tall, ginger-headed fellow, he had the scrolls, he said,

0:07:03 > 0:07:06"I'm sorry lads, I'll have to go home, I've got the scrolls."

0:07:06 > 0:07:08LAUGHTER

0:07:08 > 0:07:10Sorry. What did I ask you again?

0:07:10 > 0:07:13I don't know. Try and think... I've no idea.

0:07:13 > 0:07:17Oh, we started off doing Masonics. Masonics, that's right.

0:07:17 > 0:07:23And then Sunday concerts, and Sunday concerts, and then I met this...

0:07:23 > 0:07:25This fellow, this agent.

0:07:25 > 0:07:28LAUGHTER THEN APPLAUSE

0:07:34 > 0:07:38I was introduced to a man called David Forrester

0:07:38 > 0:07:40in Liverpool 25 years ago.

0:07:40 > 0:07:43And we had tea at the Adelphi hotel, we had tea and cakes,

0:07:43 > 0:07:46the bill came to one and nine and he let me pay.

0:07:46 > 0:07:49So I thought, well, if he looks after his money like that,

0:07:49 > 0:07:50he'll be all right for me. So...

0:07:51 > 0:07:52He came to see me working.

0:07:52 > 0:07:55I was playing just an odd week at Wigan Hippodrome,

0:07:55 > 0:07:57and it was in a strip show, you know, one of these nude shows.

0:07:57 > 0:08:00And it's very difficult telling gags with just socks on.

0:08:00 > 0:08:02LAUGHTER

0:08:03 > 0:08:07You're not allowed to move, you know, the stagehands get the sack.

0:08:07 > 0:08:09Some of them bring white mice into the theatre.

0:08:09 > 0:08:10LAUGHTER

0:08:10 > 0:08:14And I signed up with David Forrester, and we've been friends...

0:08:14 > 0:08:17My friend, my mentor, my agent, for 25 years.

0:08:17 > 0:08:19Has he given you that one and nine back yet?

0:08:19 > 0:08:21No! Reminds me...

0:08:21 > 0:08:25What about the... What stage did the hair, you know when you do the hair?

0:08:25 > 0:08:28- What did... - I'm a very... I'm a very nervous...

0:08:28 > 0:08:29I get stage fright very easily.

0:08:29 > 0:08:32And I... In the first days, I had to have some, I used to go...

0:08:33 > 0:08:36And one night, it was in Norwich at the Carlton,

0:08:36 > 0:08:40I was doing this and it actually stood on end like this.

0:08:40 > 0:08:42LAUGHTER THEN APPLAUSE

0:08:49 > 0:08:52So I used to say, "How's that, missus? By Jove?"

0:08:52 > 0:08:53PAL, puts 'airs on lads.

0:08:54 > 0:08:56PLJ, puts lumps on Judies.

0:08:58 > 0:09:00The hair and the...something.

0:09:00 > 0:09:02People say, how did your fingers get like that?

0:09:02 > 0:09:03Well, actually, I had them trapped in a till.

0:09:03 > 0:09:05LAUGHTER

0:09:08 > 0:09:09And the teeth, that came

0:09:09 > 0:09:12because I always used to try and do things differently.

0:09:12 > 0:09:14My dad always used to say to me,

0:09:14 > 0:09:16"You must be original. There can only be one of everything."

0:09:16 > 0:09:19I remember Ronnie Taylor saying that about Jimmy Clitheroe,

0:09:19 > 0:09:21"There can only be one Jimmy Clitheroe."

0:09:21 > 0:09:23There can only be one Frankie Howerd.

0:09:23 > 0:09:24There can only be one... One anybody.

0:09:24 > 0:09:25And so...

0:09:25 > 0:09:27As I say, I'm a one-off.

0:09:27 > 0:09:30The doctor said, "There's nothing you can do about it."

0:09:30 > 0:09:32LAUGHTER

0:09:32 > 0:09:33I wanted to be an original.

0:09:33 > 0:09:36So I capitalised on the teeth and the hair and used to say

0:09:36 > 0:09:39"I'm the only one who can eat a tomato through a tennis racket."

0:09:40 > 0:09:42"I'm the only one who can kiss a girl

0:09:42 > 0:09:44"and nibble her ear at the same time."

0:09:46 > 0:09:49That appearance on Parkinson would prove to be so popular

0:09:49 > 0:09:52that Dodd was invited back a year later,

0:09:52 > 0:09:55which gave Parky the chance to ask some questions

0:09:55 > 0:09:58he hadn't managed to squeeze in the first time round.

0:09:59 > 0:10:01- Now then, sir...- Young man.

0:10:01 > 0:10:04The question, last time I met you, we did a one-man show.

0:10:04 > 0:10:08- You did?- No, I didn't, you did a one-man show.

0:10:08 > 0:10:11And I... One question I didn't ask you back then, was your appearance.

0:10:11 > 0:10:15- We never got round to your... - Well, I must admit, I'm glad you...

0:10:15 > 0:10:18Because I do find it very difficult, actually, being a comedian, I mean,

0:10:18 > 0:10:21when you have perfect features, it makes it...

0:10:21 > 0:10:22LAUGHTER

0:10:22 > 0:10:25Sorry, I was laughing at Barry, he...

0:10:25 > 0:10:28Oh, right. You see, when you have a Grecian profile like mine, I mean,

0:10:28 > 0:10:31look, what do you think?

0:10:31 > 0:10:34It's very good. I think it's very winsome, myself.

0:10:34 > 0:10:36- Yes?- Yes.- Winston?

0:10:36 > 0:10:37No, winsome.

0:10:37 > 0:10:40Handsome. It's a dog food.

0:10:40 > 0:10:42It's a dog food.

0:10:42 > 0:10:44Did you ever think?

0:10:44 > 0:10:46He's starting early.

0:10:46 > 0:10:50Did you ever think of having the teeth straightened?

0:10:50 > 0:10:53- The teeth? Pardon! - The teeth straightened.

0:10:53 > 0:10:55Teeth... Is that a threat?

0:10:57 > 0:10:59Well, I did actually, I tried to look after them.

0:10:59 > 0:11:03And... I capitalise on them, I tell jokes about them.

0:11:03 > 0:11:05I went to the dentist the other day, and...

0:11:05 > 0:11:06A lot of people, you know,

0:11:06 > 0:11:09when you go to the dentist, it's usually full of fear.

0:11:09 > 0:11:11With me it's different, because the dentist is full of fear.

0:11:11 > 0:11:14And I went to the dentist, I...

0:11:14 > 0:11:17As I went up the dentist's path, I got this sinking feeling...

0:11:17 > 0:11:19I fell in his goldfish pond.

0:11:19 > 0:11:21The receptionist said, "Will you need gas?"

0:11:21 > 0:11:23I said, "I don't think so."

0:11:23 > 0:11:26Well, she said, "Please yourself, it's freezing in that waiting room."

0:11:26 > 0:11:27I went in,

0:11:27 > 0:11:30the dentist, he said, "Now, you've got to stop eating sweets."

0:11:30 > 0:11:33I said, "Why?" He said, "You've bitten my finger twice."

0:11:33 > 0:11:35He got this big needle, he said, "Now, won't feel a thing."

0:11:35 > 0:11:38And he jammed it in my gums, and you know, he didn't feel it.

0:11:38 > 0:11:40And when he'd finished, he said,

0:11:40 > 0:11:43"Now, I want you to take your trousers off and jump up and down."

0:11:43 > 0:11:45Why?

0:11:45 > 0:11:47I said, "I want my money back!"

0:11:47 > 0:11:50He said, "I want my forceps back!"

0:11:50 > 0:11:52LAUGHTER THEN APPLAUSE

0:11:52 > 0:11:55But people do...

0:11:55 > 0:11:57APPLAUSE

0:11:58 > 0:12:01People do try to... People do go to dentists and have...

0:12:01 > 0:12:03There was a lady, this was a true story,

0:12:03 > 0:12:06a lady who had a real sort of snagglepuss mouth.

0:12:06 > 0:12:09She had, you know, she had a mouth like a burnt-out fuse box.

0:12:09 > 0:12:10And she went to this

0:12:10 > 0:12:15posh cosmetic dentist in Wimpole Street, I think I've got it right,

0:12:15 > 0:12:17and...

0:12:17 > 0:12:19We're doing them in alphabetical order!

0:12:19 > 0:12:20This is Wimpole Street...

0:12:20 > 0:12:21LAUGHTER

0:12:23 > 0:12:25He... He fixed her up beautifully.

0:12:25 > 0:12:27And she was the landlady of a pub, actually.

0:12:27 > 0:12:29She was back in a year's time with a nervous breakdown

0:12:29 > 0:12:31because none of her friends were speaking to her.

0:12:31 > 0:12:34She had this lovely set of choppers and nobody would speak to her,

0:12:34 > 0:12:35and she was a nervous wreck.

0:12:35 > 0:12:37Why wouldn't they speak to her?

0:12:37 > 0:12:39Because she changed her appearance,

0:12:39 > 0:12:41The same dentist said to me, doing my...

0:12:41 > 0:12:42He said, "That's it, Ken."

0:12:42 > 0:12:45"Nothing else I can do, unless you want them straightened."

0:12:45 > 0:12:46I said, "You're kidding."

0:12:46 > 0:12:49"I was told when I was 11 I could never have nice teeth."

0:12:49 > 0:12:51"Oh," he said, "I'd fix those up."

0:12:51 > 0:12:52So then I was in a dilemma.

0:12:52 > 0:12:55Had to ask everyone, "Shall I have my teeth straightened?"

0:12:55 > 0:12:57They said, "No, no, leave it as it is."

0:12:57 > 0:12:59"We've got to have somebody to laugh at."

0:12:59 > 0:13:02But I think a comic has to realise very early on in,

0:13:02 > 0:13:04when you start being a comic,

0:13:04 > 0:13:06you have to learn to let people laugh at you, as well as with you.

0:13:06 > 0:13:10Yes. So you have to learn to take it all in your stride,

0:13:10 > 0:13:11people say to you, you know, sometimes,

0:13:11 > 0:13:15"Doddy," someone said to me a couple of months ago, in Leek, he said,

0:13:15 > 0:13:19"How do you manage to look so young on the stage...

0:13:19 > 0:13:21"and so blooming old on television?"

0:13:21 > 0:13:25This is the kind of thing you have to take, you know.

0:13:25 > 0:13:28If you're a comic, you have to let people laugh at you. I don't mind.

0:13:28 > 0:13:31Ken Dodd wasn't just making people laugh.

0:13:31 > 0:13:34He's always been a student of comedy, too,

0:13:34 > 0:13:37analysing it and trying to understand why people laugh.

0:13:38 > 0:13:43Humour, I think, was given to us as a great and wonderful gift.

0:13:43 > 0:13:45The gift of laughter, the gift of humour.

0:13:45 > 0:13:49God, the Almighty, our maker, whatever name you like to give him,

0:13:49 > 0:13:53he gave us, gave human beings this wonderful gift of laughter.

0:13:53 > 0:13:56Cos nobody else can laugh, you know, animals can't laugh,

0:13:56 > 0:13:59did you know that? There's... There isn't... Man is the only...

0:13:59 > 0:14:01Man is the only being that laughs.

0:14:01 > 0:14:03When was the last time you hard a tom cat say,

0:14:03 > 0:14:05"By Jove, that was a good one!"

0:14:05 > 0:14:07How can you, as a non-Jewish comedian,

0:14:07 > 0:14:11tell Jewish jokes without being anti-Semitic?

0:14:11 > 0:14:14Because you, being an entertainer, you are...

0:14:14 > 0:14:17If we have a gift at all, if there's any gift we have,

0:14:17 > 0:14:20it's the gift of empathy.

0:14:20 > 0:14:22And sympathy. We are able...

0:14:22 > 0:14:25You're able... The good entertainer is able to actually sit

0:14:25 > 0:14:27in the audience and watch himself.

0:14:27 > 0:14:30And so, therefore, I would think like a Jewish person.

0:14:30 > 0:14:32I would think, really, first and foremost,

0:14:32 > 0:14:34I would think like a human being, and I would think,

0:14:34 > 0:14:37"Well, would that joke offend me?"

0:14:37 > 0:14:39There was a comedian who went to heaven,

0:14:39 > 0:14:41and they said he can only go in

0:14:41 > 0:14:45if he'd done something very brave in his life.

0:14:48 > 0:14:50And he said that he'd done something brave.

0:14:50 > 0:14:52They said, "What did you do?"

0:14:52 > 0:14:54He said, "I stood up in Belfast and said,

0:14:54 > 0:14:56'to hell with all the Protestants and Catholics'."

0:14:56 > 0:15:00He said, "When did you do this?" He said, "About ten seconds ago."

0:15:02 > 0:15:05And here is Doddy showing Nationwide reporter Michael Barrett

0:15:05 > 0:15:08how the humour in his home city of Liverpool

0:15:08 > 0:15:11is a little different from anywhere else.

0:15:13 > 0:15:16Liverpool is a very beautiful city, if you know where to look.

0:15:16 > 0:15:19We've got some lovely beauty spots and some fine architecture.

0:15:19 > 0:15:23Here, for instance, we have our own column, the Duke of Wellington.

0:15:23 > 0:15:27The Duke of Wellington, who in 1600 and something,

0:15:27 > 0:15:32at the Battle of Fazakerley, repulsed the 44th Mounted Wimpies.

0:15:32 > 0:15:36The Duke of Wellington was also responsible for a very famous piece

0:15:36 > 0:15:41of equipment that no self-respecting Liverpudlian would be without.

0:15:41 > 0:15:42His wellies.

0:15:46 > 0:15:47St George's Hall,

0:15:47 > 0:15:5316 Corinthian columns, 60 feet high, supporting the facade.

0:15:53 > 0:15:56It started off as a bus shelter, but it just got a bit out of hand.

0:15:56 > 0:15:58And why the Earl of...?

0:15:58 > 0:16:00- Bill Shankly.- Is it?

0:16:00 > 0:16:02Is it the Earl of Beaconsfield?

0:16:02 > 0:16:04Yes. I always thought it was Mr Shankly.

0:16:05 > 0:16:08We learn something every day.

0:16:10 > 0:16:12MUSIC: Orchestrated Version of Penny Lane

0:16:13 > 0:16:16Well, visitors to Liverpool are quite often charmed by the place.

0:16:16 > 0:16:19Charles Dickens, when Charles Dickens came to Liverpool,

0:16:19 > 0:16:23he described it as, "That rich and beautiful port."

0:16:23 > 0:16:27And John Masefield, the poet, said it was, "Lovely in all weathers."

0:16:27 > 0:16:31It's the only city I can think of that has its own particular dialect.

0:16:31 > 0:16:34Ah, but, ah, but, ah, but, you see, this goes back a long time to...

0:16:34 > 0:16:36When there were the Seven Lost Tribes of Liverpool.

0:16:36 > 0:16:40The Seven Lost Tribes, and when the town planners came in, at one time,

0:16:40 > 0:16:44the town planners seemed to favour demolition

0:16:44 > 0:16:45more than replacing places.

0:16:45 > 0:16:48It's getting better now. They are building some beautiful places,

0:16:48 > 0:16:50but, at one time, there were the Seven Lost Tribes,

0:16:50 > 0:16:52they sent one lot out to Skelmersdale,

0:16:52 > 0:16:54they didn't want to go, but they went.

0:16:54 > 0:16:56Another lot went out to Runcorn, Kirby,

0:16:56 > 0:16:59and all these places became very sort of...

0:16:59 > 0:17:01You know, colonies of Liverpool.

0:17:01 > 0:17:04And not always, didn't always get a good name.

0:17:04 > 0:17:05They said, in one of those places,

0:17:05 > 0:17:07if you saw a cat with a tail, it was a tourist.

0:17:07 > 0:17:10And each... Each tribe has its own dialect.

0:17:10 > 0:17:12For instance, the very posh people,

0:17:12 > 0:17:15in Crosby and over the water, they say,

0:17:15 > 0:17:16"Where are you working, Mary?"

0:17:16 > 0:17:19Whereas the people in the south end of Liverpool here, they say,

0:17:19 > 0:17:21"All right, all right, big 'ed."

0:17:21 > 0:17:24"Get down there and give us one of those furry coats."

0:17:24 > 0:17:26They have Judies with "fur her".

0:17:26 > 0:17:29This is our own language, we have our own words, like,

0:17:29 > 0:17:32if I said to you, if you had a Judy down a jigger

0:17:32 > 0:17:34and this fellow came along and he was bevvied,

0:17:34 > 0:17:37so this scuffer came along and took him away.

0:17:37 > 0:17:38- OK?- I don't know what that means.

0:17:38 > 0:17:42Well, you were with this young lady and you're doing a spot of courting,

0:17:42 > 0:17:44and this gentleman came along who was inebriated,

0:17:44 > 0:17:49so a policeman came along and escorted him to the police station.

0:17:49 > 0:17:50So der!

0:17:52 > 0:17:54In the 1980s,

0:17:54 > 0:17:57Dodd was made an OBE for services to the entertainment industry.

0:17:57 > 0:18:01He was also charged with tax evasion,

0:18:01 > 0:18:03for which he was eventually acquitted.

0:18:03 > 0:18:05Between those two events,

0:18:05 > 0:18:09he set himself the challenge of performing at every British theatre,

0:18:09 > 0:18:13which led to this encounter with Terry Wogan.

0:18:13 > 0:18:15What about this bet? You're doing it again, actually,

0:18:15 > 0:18:16going round the theatres.

0:18:16 > 0:18:18This bet that you're going to play every live theatre.

0:18:18 > 0:18:19Yes. Two years ago,

0:18:19 > 0:18:22I made a bet that I would play every live theatre left in Great Britain,

0:18:22 > 0:18:24and here I am.

0:18:24 > 0:18:25LAUGHTER

0:18:27 > 0:18:28All the different theatres, all over.

0:18:28 > 0:18:31I thought there'd be about 60, 70 theatres

0:18:31 > 0:18:33but, in actual fact, there are hundreds.

0:18:33 > 0:18:35There are probably more theatres in Britain now

0:18:35 > 0:18:37- than there were 40 years ago. - How many have you done so far?

0:18:37 > 0:18:41A lot. I think it's going to be the one bet I hope I'll never win.

0:18:41 > 0:18:44- Yes.- Because there's... Entertaining live audiences,

0:18:44 > 0:18:46when you go to watch a live show, you don't just watch the show.

0:18:46 > 0:18:49You're in it. You take part in it.

0:18:49 > 0:18:51You love playing to a live audience?

0:18:51 > 0:18:53Yes. A live theatre, it's a one-to-one experience.

0:18:53 > 0:18:55There's not all this...

0:18:55 > 0:18:58Ahem! ..scrap iron in the way.

0:18:58 > 0:19:00You can get to them.

0:19:00 > 0:19:01There's my audience up there!

0:19:01 > 0:19:03- By Jove, missus! - APPLAUSE

0:19:06 > 0:19:07You see?

0:19:07 > 0:19:10It's a beautiful day!

0:19:10 > 0:19:13You sit here, if you want. You can face them.

0:19:13 > 0:19:14No! No, no! What a beautiful day!

0:19:14 > 0:19:16All the husbands, try, shoving a handful of ice cubes

0:19:16 > 0:19:18down your wife's nightie and saying,

0:19:18 > 0:19:20"There's the chest freezer you've always wanted!"

0:19:20 > 0:19:22LAUGHTER

0:19:22 > 0:19:25It's a live audience. I think...

0:19:25 > 0:19:26Anyone in from Scotland?

0:19:26 > 0:19:28Never mind, I'll do it anyway. What a beautiful day for

0:19:28 > 0:19:31putting your kilt on upside down, standing outside the town hall,

0:19:31 > 0:19:33and shouting, "How's this for a shuttlecock?"

0:19:33 > 0:19:34LAUGHTER

0:19:34 > 0:19:36This is all good stuff!

0:19:36 > 0:19:39What a beautiful day for ramming a cucumber

0:19:39 > 0:19:41through the vicar's letterbox

0:19:41 > 0:19:43and saying, "Look out, the Martians are coming!"

0:19:43 > 0:19:45LAUGHTER

0:19:45 > 0:19:49The most beautiful sound in the world is the sound of laughter.

0:19:49 > 0:19:52- Brilliant.- You're bringing... - You all right?

0:19:52 > 0:19:54- It's me chest. - It's your chuckle muscles.

0:19:54 > 0:19:56It hasn't been properly exercised.

0:19:56 > 0:19:59You've studied humour, haven't you? You've made a great study of it.

0:19:59 > 0:20:00When I came into show business, I thought,

0:20:00 > 0:20:03I was a salesman at the time, on the knocker, and...

0:20:03 > 0:20:06I decided to find out what it was selling, so, what is a laugh?

0:20:06 > 0:20:09So I went to all the libraries and I looked up the word laugh,

0:20:09 > 0:20:10L-A- double F...

0:20:10 > 0:20:12And I looked through

0:20:12 > 0:20:14Aristotle, and his brother, 'Arris Tweed.

0:20:14 > 0:20:17And Schopenhauer, Freud.

0:20:17 > 0:20:22Freud said that a laugh is a sudden explosion of psychic energy.

0:20:22 > 0:20:24Of course the trouble with Freud was,

0:20:24 > 0:20:27he never played second house Friday night at Glasgow Empire.

0:20:27 > 0:20:28And I...studied...

0:20:28 > 0:20:31I found out, I mean, what a laugh is.

0:20:31 > 0:20:35I mean, what is a laugh? I'll talk to you, you look sensible.

0:20:35 > 0:20:36What is a laugh?

0:20:36 > 0:20:39A laugh is a noise that comes out of a hole in your face.

0:20:39 > 0:20:42Anywhere else, you're in dead trouble.

0:20:42 > 0:20:43LAUGHTER

0:20:43 > 0:20:45This is...

0:20:45 > 0:20:47People laugh at all sorts of things.

0:20:47 > 0:20:49Some ladies laugh at little things.

0:20:49 > 0:20:51It's a pity, really, but there you are!

0:20:51 > 0:20:52LAUGHTER

0:20:53 > 0:20:56- But I have...- They like to laugh at other people's misfortunes.

0:20:56 > 0:20:59People do. People do laugh at other people's misfortunes,

0:20:59 > 0:21:01I never forget the time my dad had the boil on the end of his nose.

0:21:01 > 0:21:03A boil, throb, throb, on the end of his nose

0:21:03 > 0:21:06and my mother couldn't sleep at night for laughing.

0:21:06 > 0:21:07And so... We got the doctor in,

0:21:07 > 0:21:10and the doctor took one look at this boil on his nose,

0:21:10 > 0:21:12and he ordered us all out of this bedroom,

0:21:12 > 0:21:14and he took this big needle out of his bag, out...

0:21:14 > 0:21:17And we all waited outside, and we could hear... "Ow! Ooh!"

0:21:17 > 0:21:20And the doctor came out, and he said, "It looks much better now."

0:21:20 > 0:21:21"I've sewn a button on it."

0:21:21 > 0:21:23LAUGHTER

0:21:23 > 0:21:26People... All sorts of things.

0:21:26 > 0:21:29People laugh at all sorts of things, and other people, you know,

0:21:29 > 0:21:32strange things, you have to be a little bit strange in this business.

0:21:32 > 0:21:34Because people often wonder what you're doing.

0:21:34 > 0:21:36- You don't mind about this, do you? - Not at all.

0:21:36 > 0:21:38Thank you!

0:21:38 > 0:21:39I just wanted to do it! Before...

0:21:39 > 0:21:41People...

0:21:41 > 0:21:42APPLAUSE

0:21:42 > 0:21:43People laugh...

0:21:45 > 0:21:46Generally, routines.

0:21:46 > 0:21:49Now, there's routines about Christmas, there's routines...

0:21:49 > 0:21:51The doctor's routine. Went to the doctor's the other day,

0:21:51 > 0:21:54I went to see Doctor Greenberg, he's a wonderful man,

0:21:54 > 0:21:56does a bit on the side, and also tends to cats.

0:21:56 > 0:22:00And... Yes, that's why you have to be very careful, you know,

0:22:00 > 0:22:02make sure he knows exactly what you want.

0:22:02 > 0:22:04When he's been on the cough mixture...

0:22:04 > 0:22:06One fellow went in to get his tonsils out,

0:22:06 > 0:22:08the stretcher was the wrong way round and...

0:22:08 > 0:22:10BLOWS RASPBERRY

0:22:10 > 0:22:11LAUGHTER

0:22:11 > 0:22:14Oh, yes! Went in as Angus, came out as Agnes.

0:22:14 > 0:22:16Anyway, I went in.

0:22:16 > 0:22:19Went in to his insulting room, he said, "Now, are you paying, or shall I hurt you?"

0:22:19 > 0:22:20I said, "No, I'm paying!"

0:22:20 > 0:22:22Right, he says, "Take all your clothes off."

0:22:22 > 0:22:23So I took off my clothes.

0:22:23 > 0:22:26He went in the next room for a laugh. He came back, and said...

0:22:26 > 0:22:28He said, "You'll have to diet." I said, "What colour?"

0:22:28 > 0:22:30He said, "Never mind that!"

0:22:30 > 0:22:32I said, "Well, I'd like a second opinion."

0:22:32 > 0:22:34He said, "You're ugly as well."

0:22:35 > 0:22:37That's a routine, you see.

0:22:37 > 0:22:38And a good one.

0:22:38 > 0:22:40Yes, and the Christmas...

0:22:40 > 0:22:41A joke is totally, a joke is a story.

0:22:41 > 0:22:44A little boy said to his dad just before Christmas, "Dad," he said,

0:22:44 > 0:22:48"I don't want a bike for Christmas. I don't want a bike for Christmas."

0:22:48 > 0:22:49He said, "Why not?"

0:22:49 > 0:22:52He said, "I've just found one behind the wardrobe."

0:22:52 > 0:22:53APPLAUSE

0:22:57 > 0:23:00Appearances like that one were classic Ken Dodd,

0:23:00 > 0:23:03and encapsulated his act perfectly,

0:23:03 > 0:23:08packed with one-liners and with the audience in the palm of his hand.

0:23:09 > 0:23:10So how to top that?

0:23:10 > 0:23:14Well, let's finish with a song that once was a hit for Wogan himself.

0:23:16 > 0:23:20Yes, brace yourselves, it's Doddy's version of The Floral Dance.

0:23:22 > 0:23:23APPLAUSE

0:23:31 > 0:23:35Oooooooohhhhh!

0:23:35 > 0:23:37# As I walked home on a summer's night

0:23:40 > 0:23:42# When stars in Heav'n were shining bright

0:23:45 > 0:23:47# Far away from the footlights' glare. #

0:23:47 > 0:23:48I'm dribbling here.

0:23:48 > 0:23:51# Into the sweet and scented air. #

0:23:51 > 0:23:53That's funny.

0:23:53 > 0:23:56# Of a quaint old Cornish Town. #

0:24:00 > 0:24:02DEEP GULPING BREATH

0:24:02 > 0:24:04# Borne from afar on the gentle breeze

0:24:04 > 0:24:05SWANNEE WHISTLE

0:24:05 > 0:24:08# Soft as the murmur of summer seas

0:24:08 > 0:24:10# Distant tones of an old world dance

0:24:10 > 0:24:12SNARE DRUM BEATS

0:24:12 > 0:24:15# Played by the gasworks band, perchance

0:24:15 > 0:24:17# On the ca-ha-alm air

0:24:17 > 0:24:23# Came flo-ho-at-ing down

0:24:24 > 0:24:27# I thought I could hear the spurious tone

0:24:27 > 0:24:29# Of the cornet, clarinet and big trombone

0:24:29 > 0:24:31# Fiddle, cello, big bass drum

0:24:31 > 0:24:33# Trifle spoon, euphonium

0:24:33 > 0:24:35# Far away, as in a trance

0:24:35 > 0:24:38# I heard the sound of the Floral Dance!

0:24:40 > 0:24:42# Tiddlywinks, old man, suck a lemon, if you can

0:24:42 > 0:24:45# If you can't suck a lemon suck an old tin can

0:24:45 > 0:24:46# I pull my Brutus jeans on. #

0:24:54 > 0:24:56Get off your horse and drink your milk!

0:24:57 > 0:25:01A man's got to do what a man's got to do.

0:25:01 > 0:25:04# And soon I heard such a bustling and prancing

0:25:04 > 0:25:07# And then I saw the whole village was dancing

0:25:07 > 0:25:10# In and out of the houses they came

0:25:10 > 0:25:12# Old folk, young folk, all the same

0:25:13 > 0:25:15# In that quaint old Cornish town

0:25:20 > 0:25:23# Every boy took a girl by the waist

0:25:23 > 0:25:27# And hurried her off in tremendous haste

0:25:27 > 0:25:30# Whether they cared for one another I knew not

0:25:30 > 0:25:32# Whether they knew one another I care not

0:25:32 > 0:25:37# But they kissed as they da-ha-anced along!

0:25:41 > 0:25:44# They danced to the band of the spurious tone

0:25:44 > 0:25:46# With the cornet, clarinet, and big trombone

0:25:46 > 0:25:49# Fiddle, kiddle, big bass drum

0:25:49 > 0:25:50# Fife, bassoon, and euphonium

0:25:50 > 0:25:53# Each one making the most of his chance

0:25:53 > 0:25:54# Altogether in the floral dance

0:25:56 > 0:25:59# Hit me with your rhythm stick! Yeah!

0:26:01 > 0:26:04# Na-na-na-na-naah! #

0:26:05 > 0:26:07Hissing Sid is innocent!

0:26:08 > 0:26:11LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

0:26:16 > 0:26:19# I felt so lonely standing there

0:26:19 > 0:26:21# And I could only stand and swear...stare! #

0:26:21 > 0:26:23Sorry, sir.

0:26:23 > 0:26:25# For I had no friend with me

0:26:25 > 0:26:28# Lonely I would have to be

0:26:28 > 0:26:32# In that quaint old Cornish town

0:26:42 > 0:26:44# When, suddenly hurrying down the lane

0:26:44 > 0:26:46# A figure I knew I saw quite plain. #

0:26:46 > 0:26:48'Twas Fanny from the fish shop!

0:26:48 > 0:26:51# With outstretched arms I rushed along

0:26:51 > 0:26:54# And carried her into that merry throng. #

0:26:54 > 0:26:56Hop on, Fanny! Show them what you're made of!

0:26:58 > 0:27:00# And I fiddled - ha-ha!

0:27:00 > 0:27:04# And went dancing...along!

0:27:07 > 0:27:09# We danced to the men with the spurious tone

0:27:09 > 0:27:11# Of the cornet, clarinet, and big trombone

0:27:11 > 0:27:13# Fiddle, cello, big bass drum

0:27:13 > 0:27:16# Fife, bassoon, and euphonium

0:27:16 > 0:27:18# Each one making the most of his chance

0:27:18 > 0:27:20# Altogether in the floral dance

0:27:21 > 0:27:24# Dancing here, prancing there

0:27:24 > 0:27:26# Jigging, jogging everywhere

0:27:26 > 0:27:29# Up and down, around the town

0:27:29 > 0:27:36# Hurrah for the Cornish floral dance! #

0:27:37 > 0:27:39APPLAUSE