0:00:11 > 0:00:13It's going! Going!
0:00:13 > 0:00:17HE TOOTS HORN
0:00:31 > 0:00:34Done for!
0:00:39 > 0:00:42Did you like that?
0:01:00 > 0:01:05Apart from his work on chimneys and spires,
0:01:05 > 0:01:09Fred Dibnah has devoted his life to steam.
0:01:09 > 0:01:16Over 20 years, he rebuilt one steam-engine and got well on the way with another.
0:01:18 > 0:01:25Now, at nearly 50, he had achieved the ambition he had cherished from youth -
0:01:25 > 0:01:29this great steam-driven workshop in his backyard.
0:01:31 > 0:01:37Made from scrap and the surviving parts of Victorian machines,
0:01:37 > 0:01:42it now had the capacity to restore whole fleets of steam-engines
0:01:42 > 0:01:50and to serve the Fred Dibnahs of the future - if there are any - for centuries to come.
0:01:57 > 0:02:04Over the years, Fred had by no means neglected the improvement of the family quarters.
0:02:04 > 0:02:10Since you were last here, I bought me house off the Earl of Bradford.
0:02:10 > 0:02:17This character rung up from Cambridge and said, "We're coming up to have a chat with you."
0:02:17 > 0:02:23He said that Mr... I forget his name, but he wanted to look at the steam-engines.
0:02:23 > 0:02:28And I thought, "Ah, Cambridge! They're big steam men down there!
0:02:28 > 0:02:35"They'll come...up and...I'll impress 'em with me steam-engines,
0:02:35 > 0:02:38"and get a bit knocked off price of t'house."
0:02:38 > 0:02:44So, up they came... It were raining that day, so I didn't go to work,
0:02:44 > 0:02:48and we had t'steamroller ticking over in the shed,
0:02:48 > 0:02:54and this man from Cambridge said, "Well, how much will you give me?"
0:02:54 > 0:02:57You know, for this 'ere house.
0:02:57 > 0:03:00So I went and showed him all the bad points.
0:03:00 > 0:03:07There's a nine-inch bulge at the back. It's a bloody wonder it's not all in the river!
0:03:07 > 0:03:11Time went by and, cutting a long story short,
0:03:11 > 0:03:16we got it...for £5,000 - all this land and everything!
0:03:16 > 0:03:22So, now it's up to me to stop the bloody thing slipping into the river.
0:03:28 > 0:03:31Right... Next one, Donald.
0:03:45 > 0:03:48Mind you don't fall off there.
0:03:50 > 0:03:56You've got the square bit out the middle. It don't matter, really.
0:03:56 > 0:03:58Just... Just keep screwing.
0:03:58 > 0:04:01It'll do, that.
0:04:01 > 0:04:04Hup... That's it. Beautiful.
0:04:08 > 0:04:11When we first came, you know,
0:04:11 > 0:04:16we noticed this great, nasty bulge on the back,
0:04:16 > 0:04:22and I thought, "I know why they gave me this cheap! Bloody back's going to fall out!"
0:04:22 > 0:04:27Then, one day, I were lying in bed and there were one 'ell of a bang!
0:04:27 > 0:04:34And I thought, "The outside four-and-a-half's fell out of the bloody place!"
0:04:34 > 0:04:38But it were actually a gas explosion, you know!
0:04:38 > 0:04:43The wife came running upstairs screaming, no eyebrows...!
0:04:43 > 0:04:47A big hole burnt in t'front of her dress!
0:04:47 > 0:04:50Bloody gas cooker had blown up!
0:04:56 > 0:05:01Hitherto, Fred had regarded his domain merely as a shelter for his steam-engines and his family.
0:05:01 > 0:05:08Now he began to feel pride in its possession and its idyllic situation.
0:05:08 > 0:05:14My house is...just over there, behind all them trees.
0:05:14 > 0:05:19In between there and here, there's the river. This is the cemetery,
0:05:19 > 0:05:22where we'll all end up eventually.
0:05:22 > 0:05:29In here, actually, there's the first, the only man, I think, in Bolton to be killed by a lion!
0:05:29 > 0:05:34Seems they'd not got the preparations right, like.
0:05:34 > 0:05:39They got this big cage at the local wakes week in 1890 or summat...
0:05:39 > 0:05:47And they had these braziers with big, long iron rods. And somebody forgot to light the bloody fires...
0:05:47 > 0:05:53Anyway, the lion got the man and they had no red-hot iron rods to get it off him.
0:05:53 > 0:05:56So he ended up in 'ere, poor fella.
0:05:56 > 0:06:04Me Dad used to tell me about a big flood we had that washed one or two of them down the river.
0:06:04 > 0:06:10I don't know if there's any truth in it, but I know that down on that river bed
0:06:10 > 0:06:13there's all sorts of gravestones.
0:06:13 > 0:06:16When my time comes, you know,
0:06:16 > 0:06:22I think...you couldn't find a more peaceful cemetery than this.
0:06:22 > 0:06:26It's nice and quiet, they cut the grass regularly...
0:06:26 > 0:06:30Not that you'd notice when you're six foot under,
0:06:30 > 0:06:38but it's nicer than being turned into a little plastic bag or tin can full of fag ash, innit?
0:06:38 > 0:06:42Besides, I'd like to build me own gravestone,
0:06:42 > 0:06:49make one like a chimney with the lightning conductor on and everything! Very fancy!
0:06:49 > 0:06:55- One with a beautiful, fancy top on it! - CHURCH BELLS CHIME
0:06:55 > 0:07:03The place is getting a bit overcrowded now and we decided that we'd build a new wing on it.
0:07:03 > 0:07:10The thing is, with it being a listed building, everything's got to look just right.
0:07:10 > 0:07:15So, you need second-hand bricks. After many months of looking around
0:07:15 > 0:07:20at various buildings that were about to have the big hammer,
0:07:20 > 0:07:27we found about ten houses in one row and six of 'em had never been messed about with or anything.
0:07:27 > 0:07:31The bricks were a perfect match for the existing ones.
0:07:31 > 0:07:38So, we went with two Land Rovers - the wife, me, Donald, me father-in-law and another lad -
0:07:38 > 0:07:46and we literally took the front out of six of 'em and brought 'em back here to build the place out of.
0:07:46 > 0:07:53Then the lad who did the drawings got carried away with his fancy stonework - and stone's expensive.
0:07:53 > 0:07:57But then we met this vicar, who said,
0:07:57 > 0:08:02"I've got all these gravestones here. Take 'em if you like."
0:08:02 > 0:08:08So they now are the window heads, the mullions and the window bottoms.
0:08:08 > 0:08:13I'm a bit worried the bloody place will be haunted when it's finished!
0:08:15 > 0:08:19- Ah! That's it, is it?- That's it.
0:08:19 > 0:08:23Yeah... Do you think we'll get it off him, like?
0:08:23 > 0:08:31- I'll have a word with him. I'll see him tonight, cos I'm doing a job for him.- Good.- When I came up last time,
0:08:31 > 0:08:38- I spotted it, but didn't say anything to him then. - Yeah, it'd be just right, eh?
0:08:38 > 0:08:41Wonder if he's got another one somewhere.
0:08:41 > 0:08:46- Do you think we can get it off him? - Yeah, cos I know the owner.
0:08:46 > 0:08:55He's a teacher. He mentioned that he'd like to bring the kids to your yard to see the engines.
0:08:55 > 0:09:03- So, I could work a deal. He can bring the kids down if he lets you have this stone ball...- Yeah!
0:09:03 > 0:09:05I'm game if he is!
0:09:05 > 0:09:11- OK?- Yeah.- This is where the Tarzan act comes in, eh?
0:09:15 > 0:09:17Right...
0:09:22 > 0:09:24That's it.
0:09:24 > 0:09:26- All right?- Yeah, got it.
0:09:29 > 0:09:32Now... This is the one.
0:09:32 > 0:09:34You all right, Fred?
0:09:40 > 0:09:42..Got it.
0:09:42 > 0:09:46- Right... - We've to get it on that pin.- Yeah.
0:09:46 > 0:09:51Wait a minute... We might all end up with big wotsits if...!
0:09:51 > 0:09:53- ..That's it.- How's that?- Superb!
0:09:53 > 0:09:57- How does it look? - Looks all right from up here.
0:10:00 > 0:10:03 These are terrific, aren't they?
0:10:03 > 0:10:05Yeah, better than the other thing!
0:10:05 > 0:10:11- Let's go downstairs and look at it...- Yeah, from across the road.
0:10:11 > 0:10:15Don't think it'll blow away so easy, will it?
0:10:17 > 0:10:19BLAST OF STEAM WHISTLE
0:10:20 > 0:10:23DOG WHINES
0:10:29 > 0:10:33Every summer, when the children were young, Fred and Alison made the epic journey
0:10:33 > 0:10:38at a stately 4mph to a steam rally at Chelford in Cheshire.
0:10:51 > 0:10:54A steam-engine, really,
0:10:54 > 0:10:58gives you... sort of a form of immortality.
0:10:58 > 0:11:03To actually resurrect one from a pile of rust,
0:11:03 > 0:11:06you know, you've got your stamp on it.
0:11:06 > 0:11:10When I'm long dead, they'll still be here...
0:11:10 > 0:11:15Even if they drop the bomb, they'd blow all the houses down,
0:11:15 > 0:11:19but they'd just roll this into some ditch.
0:11:19 > 0:11:24Someone would eventually find it and say, "Hmm, this is interesting!
0:11:24 > 0:11:27"I wonder when they made these!"
0:11:28 > 0:11:36You've got to have a very good wife if you have a steam-engine...! One that understands you!
0:11:36 > 0:11:42When I got married, things were a bit rough as far as steam-engines were concerned.
0:11:42 > 0:11:47Divorce proceedings were imminent on quite a lot of occasions.
0:11:47 > 0:11:54- But as the years rolled by, Alison, me wife, has got to like it all. - STEAM WHISTLE
0:11:54 > 0:12:01- ALISON: - I have a good mother and she used to help me a lot.
0:12:01 > 0:12:06Or when we had no money, cos something was bought for the engine,
0:12:06 > 0:12:12I could always go and get food off her, or she'd fetch me something round.
0:12:12 > 0:12:19And she'd see kids were OK for clothes. And me sisters would fetch me clothes for them.
0:12:19 > 0:12:24The steam men, with the engines, very few of them are married.
0:12:24 > 0:12:28They think that women and steam-engines don't mix
0:12:28 > 0:12:32and they tend to look down on any wife that arrives.
0:12:32 > 0:12:37They think you might get them to get rid of their engines.
0:12:37 > 0:12:44I decided when Lorna was 18 months there was too many drunken men coming round,
0:12:44 > 0:12:51so it was either the children and me or the drunken men, and the children won.
0:12:51 > 0:12:58So the drunks went and the girls ended up in the coal bunker - a victory for family life.
0:12:58 > 0:13:02BAND PLAYS THEME FROM THE DAM BUSTERS
0:14:04 > 0:14:08Right, come on over. You can get out now.
0:14:14 > 0:14:19We have a friend, Eric Marshall, who sort of... He grows radishes.
0:14:19 > 0:14:22Right nice bloke, he is.
0:14:22 > 0:14:26We called him the radish king. He got his own back on this fella.
0:14:26 > 0:14:30Filled his bloody coal bunker up wi' radishes!
0:14:35 > 0:14:39Where's your dad? Have you seen him or have we lost him?
0:14:39 > 0:14:42Bloody thing would do about 70mph.
0:14:42 > 0:14:47He went along t'motorway one day and he set fire to a field!
0:14:47 > 0:14:52Caused three car crashes and burnt a power supply down...
0:14:52 > 0:14:59When they caught up with him, 70 miles further on, he said, "It weren't me!"
0:14:59 > 0:15:02We've had some fun down 'ere - no doubt about it.
0:15:02 > 0:15:10- Yeah.- Poor old Jim, dead and gone now. He was there, and we had a few yobbos round at night.
0:15:10 > 0:15:18And they said, "We're going to get on this engine and drive it." Jim said, "No, you're not." He was about 73.
0:15:18 > 0:15:23- He had a finger missing, didn't he? - Yeah, that was an engine.
0:15:23 > 0:15:29So he's stood on his engine, and these lads were, you know, "We're getting on!"
0:15:29 > 0:15:35And he just got hold of the fire shovel and he went BANG, BANG!
0:15:35 > 0:15:40I forgot to fetch me vegetable knife from home.
0:15:40 > 0:15:42You can't remember everything.
0:15:42 > 0:15:47He backs the engine up the field, top gear, straight through this gate,
0:15:47 > 0:15:55where you have to take a sharp, right-hand turn. So, he had a go and went straight into a battery house.
0:15:55 > 0:16:00Bloody hens flew everywhere! I'll never forget it!
0:16:00 > 0:16:07- Fred, got a minute? It's raining and the quilt's wet. - Pull the mattress off t'shelf, then.
0:16:07 > 0:16:11- Fred, it'll wash it up! - They're all wet.- Are they?
0:16:11 > 0:16:15- Yeah.- Bad?- Well... - They won't be that bad, will they?
0:16:15 > 0:16:21- Leave the bucket there till it's stopped dripping. - But there's TWO drips.
0:16:21 > 0:16:27- Put the bowl on t'other one.- I'm using it for the potatoes.- Well...
0:16:27 > 0:16:31- What about that bucket there? - It's...- It don't leak.
0:16:31 > 0:16:37- All right, but it's dirty.- Well, the beds are better dirty than wet.
0:16:40 > 0:16:45- Bloody sun's stopped shining, hasn't it?- It'll be right tomorrow.
0:16:45 > 0:16:50- It's doing the ground good. - Making t'bloody grass grow!- Aye!
0:16:50 > 0:16:56It's the only way you can find out, Fred, if your caravan roof leaks!
0:16:56 > 0:16:58All over my bloody bed, it is!
0:16:58 > 0:17:05- Depends what side you've got the missus on!- She sleeps on the floor! - LAUGHTER >
0:17:06 > 0:17:08That's it....
0:17:08 > 0:17:12For Alison, the fun of steam rallies was diminishing.
0:17:12 > 0:17:17Her thoughts turned increasingly to sunnier vacations,
0:17:17 > 0:17:20beyond the range of Fred's roller.
0:17:20 > 0:17:24I've said every year, "I would like a holiday, Fred."
0:17:24 > 0:17:27And he wouldn't like a holiday.
0:17:27 > 0:17:30Other wives go on holiday,
0:17:30 > 0:17:33so why can't I?
0:17:33 > 0:17:39What Alison had in mind was this sort of thing - Greece or suchlike.
0:17:39 > 0:17:47But that was the snag. Fred had been abroad once, when he was in the army...and he didn't like it.
0:17:47 > 0:17:52There's nothing in Greece for a man like me.
0:17:52 > 0:17:58I believe there's some decent buildings, but I couldn't bear...
0:17:58 > 0:18:05lying there on the bloody sand all day. It isn't really my style.
0:18:05 > 0:18:08A bit vain, people like that, aren't they?
0:18:08 > 0:18:15They lie in the sun, so that when they come back to grotty old England, everybody'll think,
0:18:15 > 0:18:19"Where have they been? They must've been abroad!"
0:18:19 > 0:18:24It's all one-upmanship, innit, the holiday job, really?
0:18:26 > 0:18:32With each passing summer, Alison's thoughts turned to the golden beaches of the travel brochures.
0:18:32 > 0:18:35She was determined to get there.
0:18:35 > 0:18:40Me and the girls are going to Greece. I've waited 18 years...
0:18:40 > 0:18:45We're going to enjoy ourselves, get sunburnt.
0:18:45 > 0:18:51Then, of course, we'll be going to Stockport, to an engine rally.
0:18:51 > 0:18:54Er... He'll enjoy it.
0:18:54 > 0:18:57And I'LL enjoy MY holiday!
0:18:58 > 0:19:01Well, he IS grown-up now.
0:19:01 > 0:19:08He'll do all right. He says he can cook eggs and chips... He'll be OK for drinks,
0:19:08 > 0:19:12as long as he remembers he's got the kettle on...
0:19:12 > 0:19:19I just booked, and told him, and when he started complaining, I went and paid for it.
0:19:19 > 0:19:24He's very upset about it. In fact, it's making him ill!
0:19:24 > 0:19:27Yeah, it is!
0:19:27 > 0:19:30But I'm still going on holiday!
0:19:36 > 0:19:39TRADITIONAL GREEK MUSIC
0:20:34 > 0:20:40TV: 'Thunderstorms brought flooding to several main roads -
0:20:40 > 0:20:42'in places, up to two feet deep.
0:20:42 > 0:20:46'The fire brigade had many calls from householders,
0:20:46 > 0:20:50'and some people had to paddle to work.'
0:20:59 > 0:21:02CHOIR SINGS HYMN: Abide With Me
0:21:02 > 0:21:05# Swift to its close
0:21:05 > 0:21:12# Ebbs out life's little day
0:21:12 > 0:21:17# Earth's joys grow dim
0:21:17 > 0:21:26# Its glories pass away
0:21:26 > 0:21:30# Change and decay
0:21:30 > 0:21:38# In all around I see
0:21:38 > 0:21:45# O, Thou who changest not
0:21:45 > 0:21:54# Abide with me. #
0:21:54 > 0:22:02Well, on their arrival back from Greece, they informed me that, er, they want a divorce, like.
0:22:02 > 0:22:07They don't like the world of steam-engines and factory chimneys.
0:22:07 > 0:22:12I don't know why. Bloody chimneys have kept us alive for 18 years.
0:22:12 > 0:22:16Life, really, at this moment in time...
0:22:16 > 0:22:21It had got to a stage where we could more or less semi-retire.
0:22:21 > 0:22:29Now it looks as though I've got to get a mortgage and work for another 18 years to buy Alison a house
0:22:29 > 0:22:33and fix her up in the style she's got accustomed to.
0:22:35 > 0:22:37Fred began to muster his assets, including,
0:22:37 > 0:22:41regretfully, his 1927 AJS motorbike.
0:22:41 > 0:22:48The same machine, round about 1924, but with an overhead-valve engine, won the Isle of Man TT.
0:22:48 > 0:22:55It were made when England made the best motorbikes in the world. Not so now.
0:22:55 > 0:22:59I once went to Leeds on this, you know! Yeah!
0:22:59 > 0:23:04Hell of a journey. Over Blackstone Edge... Bloody winter and all!
0:23:04 > 0:23:08Yeah... Me hands were frozen t'handlebars.
0:23:15 > 0:23:17HE TOOTS HORN
0:23:24 > 0:23:31This bike, up till 1969, I rode for ten years every day when I first started steeplejacking.
0:23:31 > 0:23:39I'd take the ladders on the wagon and go to work on this. I always knew it were worth a bob or two,
0:23:39 > 0:23:45and now that I'm a bit desperate for money, it's got to go.
0:23:45 > 0:23:52It's a great pity, really. But I suppose at an auction, like Sotheby's, it'll be...
0:23:52 > 0:23:59If two lunatics bid against each other, I might make a couple of grand.
0:24:00 > 0:24:07It were a shame, really. It's one of the few things that I've had to part with that I really liked.
0:24:07 > 0:24:14We got the thing there and there were that many people, you couldn't move hardly.
0:24:14 > 0:24:18And I got £1,700. It were knocked down at 1,700 quid.
0:24:18 > 0:24:21It was a man from Macclesfield.
0:24:21 > 0:24:26I'll weigh that into the building society for the war efforts.
0:24:26 > 0:24:29I'll not see any of it,
0:24:29 > 0:24:34but at least it'll help with the payments...and all...
0:24:34 > 0:24:42I went away the other Friday to open a solid fuel shop at Bury and when I came back she'd moved on.
0:24:42 > 0:24:48Alone with his thoughts, Fred came to see celebrity business stress
0:24:48 > 0:24:53as one cause of their domestic troubles.
0:24:55 > 0:24:58AUDIENCE APPLAUDS
0:24:58 > 0:25:03- Oh, the computer! - LAUGHTER
0:25:03 > 0:25:06People have said to me, like,
0:25:06 > 0:25:13"You looked out of place when you were doing that" and I've actually felt out of place.
0:25:13 > 0:25:18Bloody glamorous grandmother contests! What the hell do I know?!
0:25:18 > 0:25:22You know... It's not really my scene.
0:25:22 > 0:25:25CATS MEOW
0:25:27 > 0:25:34I don't think they like me. I don't think they like me, cats. It's stuck in!
0:25:38 > 0:25:43'Sometimes the bloody pressure of it all, it gets a bit too much.
0:25:43 > 0:25:49'I don't think Alison was a person who liked excessive pressure.'
0:25:49 > 0:25:56You know, she were more a person who were quite content to sit there watching telly and...
0:25:56 > 0:26:00you know, just go out and do the things that she wanted to do...
0:26:00 > 0:26:05without having this extra load thrust on her back.
0:26:05 > 0:26:11And there's no doubt whatsoever, she were a good help to me.
0:26:38 > 0:26:43- Fancy a go on that? - Yeah! No!
0:26:48 > 0:26:53Did you enjoy that? A little bit tight, weren't it?
0:26:56 > 0:27:01Here you are. We'll just have these then we'll zoom off.
0:27:11 > 0:27:13Give us a kiss, love?
0:27:13 > 0:27:16You all right?
0:27:21 > 0:27:24You should always ask who they are.
0:27:41 > 0:27:43Close your eyes.