0:00:02 > 0:00:03Real ale? Bah!
0:00:05 > 0:00:08He is one of Britain's most loved comedy performers.
0:00:08 > 0:00:13He's dry, he can be very crude, he's just a very funny guy.
0:00:13 > 0:00:14It's a pleasure.
0:00:14 > 0:00:16Hal!
0:00:16 > 0:00:20And also one of the most respected actors in the business.
0:00:20 > 0:00:22He creates an electric atmosphere on a set.
0:00:22 > 0:00:24# A-wop-bop-a-loom-op a-lop-bam-boom! #
0:00:24 > 0:00:28He just brings amazing authority to whatever he does.
0:00:28 > 0:00:31And he is known throughout the world for his role in one of the most
0:00:31 > 0:00:35successful series of movies the film industry has ever known.
0:00:35 > 0:00:37- Sorry about that.- Robbie does great voices.
0:00:37 > 0:00:43Bond, James Bond! Meet Mina and Verushka.
0:00:43 > 0:00:45He's got such a naturalism about him,
0:00:45 > 0:00:47the camera captures what he's thinking.
0:00:47 > 0:00:49This is only supposed to happen in the movies.
0:00:49 > 0:00:51Like having a comedian on set.
0:00:53 > 0:00:55I think Robbie Coltrane is a total one-off.
0:00:55 > 0:00:59- Yes!- And I think it's his range that staggers.
0:01:01 > 0:01:04These are The Many Faces of Robbie Coltrane.
0:01:15 > 0:01:18Nim! Nim! Nim!
0:01:18 > 0:01:20Robbie Coltrane's career has seen him
0:01:20 > 0:01:24go from alternative comedy stalwart in the early '80s to playing
0:01:24 > 0:01:27alongside the biggest names in Hollywood.
0:01:27 > 0:01:30- So...to business?- To business.
0:01:30 > 0:01:33He could play a Norfolk farmer, or he could play
0:01:33 > 0:01:35this sort of alcoholic man having a marital breakdown.
0:01:37 > 0:01:40It's hard for a writer to work with Robbie,
0:01:40 > 0:01:41because he is so intelligent.
0:01:41 > 0:01:42Spinoza.
0:01:45 > 0:01:49I really had problems, because he was so funny.
0:01:49 > 0:01:52Strictly platonic. Keep your hands to yourself.
0:01:52 > 0:01:56So, I used to have to... walk away quite a lot.
0:01:56 > 0:02:00I know it's going to be hard, there's nothing I can do about that. OK?
0:02:00 > 0:02:02It's just hands off.
0:02:02 > 0:02:03'A Renaissance man, really.'
0:02:03 > 0:02:05I'll try(!)
0:02:05 > 0:02:07He was a jack of all trades, master of quite a few of them.
0:02:07 > 0:02:10- Let's get those gays out of the closet!- Oh, yes, sir!
0:02:10 > 0:02:12All right, let's move it out!
0:02:12 > 0:02:17- Drink?- Add to his CV a Bond baddie with a sense of humour...
0:02:17 > 0:02:19Can't you just say hello like a normal person?
0:02:19 > 0:02:22..and of course, Hagrid in the Harry Potter films,
0:02:22 > 0:02:26and you have a diverse and very impressive career.
0:02:26 > 0:02:31- Whoa!- Right, then. This way to the boats, come on!
0:02:36 > 0:02:38Born Robert McMillan, the former public schoolboy
0:02:38 > 0:02:42and Glasgow art student changed his name to Coltrane after
0:02:42 > 0:02:44the jazz saxophonist, John Coltrane.
0:02:46 > 0:02:50While working at the Edinburgh Film Festival in 1978,
0:02:50 > 0:02:53Robbie Coltrane got his first big break,
0:02:53 > 0:02:57when he bumped into trendy New York arthouse director, Amos Poe.
0:02:59 > 0:03:02We started talking about films, and we talked for about, I think,
0:03:02 > 0:03:07three days, and suddenly realised we were brothers, of a sort.
0:03:13 > 0:03:16Recognising the enormous talent of the young Scot,
0:03:16 > 0:03:22Amos Poe asked Robbie to New York to play the lead in his latest film.
0:03:22 > 0:03:24The first one I made was Subway Riders,
0:03:24 > 0:03:27which was about a psychopathic saxophone player, who played
0:03:27 > 0:03:30so beautifully that people gathered round,
0:03:30 > 0:03:34and then he took his gun out and shot them all, and then got on the subway.
0:03:34 > 0:03:38That's it, the guy's a saxophonist!
0:03:39 > 0:03:43Shot guerrilla-style on the subways of New York, Subway Riders
0:03:43 > 0:03:46had a limited budget and Amos Poe was not only the director,
0:03:46 > 0:03:50but the writer, producer and health and safety officer as well.
0:03:52 > 0:03:57I said, "So, if I pull this thing out and run down and bang him away
0:03:57 > 0:04:00"and he gets winged, what are the security systems?"
0:04:00 > 0:04:02He says, "Don't you worry about that.
0:04:02 > 0:04:05"That's all going to be OK." Of course, the thing is, New York,
0:04:05 > 0:04:08how many off-duty cops are there who've got
0:04:08 > 0:04:11a 38 Detective Special or a 45?
0:04:11 > 0:04:14He says, "10 seconds, 10 seconds of your life, Robbie,
0:04:14 > 0:04:19"how likely is it that someone will shoot you?" I'm going, "Erm...
0:04:19 > 0:04:23"Quite likely indeed."
0:04:23 > 0:04:25GUNSHOT
0:04:25 > 0:04:29I think my fee was endless roast beef sandwiches on rye.
0:04:29 > 0:04:33I think that's what all of us got, because we just wanted to make movies.
0:04:33 > 0:04:38You know me, high on crime and feeling groovy.
0:04:38 > 0:04:42Having survived New York, Robbie returned to the UK in 1982
0:04:42 > 0:04:45to make a short film with former Monkees drummer
0:04:45 > 0:04:49and now TV director, Micky Dolenz. He loved Robbie so much,
0:04:49 > 0:04:54he also used him in a kids' show he was making for ITV, Metal Mickey.
0:04:54 > 0:04:57- Hello, my little fruit bat. - Hello, Fluffy.
0:04:57 > 0:05:00While it can't be considered the high point in Robbie's career...
0:05:00 > 0:05:02I don't have to grovel, do I?
0:05:02 > 0:05:05..it did lead to a meeting that would change his life.
0:05:05 > 0:05:09About 1982, we were casting our first Comic Strip film,
0:05:09 > 0:05:11Five Go Mad In Dorset.
0:05:11 > 0:05:15And who should be in the room next door, but Micky Dolenz?
0:05:15 > 0:05:17Who was in America's answer to The Beatles.
0:05:17 > 0:05:20And he said, "I've just worked with this larger-than-life,
0:05:20 > 0:05:22"fantastic guy called Robbie Coltrane,
0:05:22 > 0:05:24"you should see him for your film, he's very funny."
0:05:24 > 0:05:26I went, "Oh, yeah, what does he know?"
0:05:26 > 0:05:28So I came down to meet the guy, and he said,
0:05:28 > 0:05:33"Erm, the main parts, obviously, have gone to The Comic Strip."
0:05:33 > 0:05:35- ALL:- Hooray!
0:05:35 > 0:05:37He said, "Well, there's two parts, there is
0:05:37 > 0:05:42"an inappropriately randy gypsy, there is a really horrible,
0:05:42 > 0:05:45"middle-aged woman in the sweetie shop..."
0:05:45 > 0:05:49There's been a lot of strange comings and goings in this village.
0:05:49 > 0:05:55Secrets and signs and...threats...
0:05:55 > 0:05:58I thought, "Well, if you give me them both, I'll have it."
0:05:58 > 0:06:00He went, "You're on."
0:06:00 > 0:06:05- You really are a brick!- It's a pleasure. Right down nice, you are.
0:06:05 > 0:06:08Shown on Channel 4's opening night,
0:06:08 > 0:06:12this was The Comic Strip's first film and made Robbie one of the faces
0:06:12 > 0:06:15of a new and groundbreaking movement, alternative comedy.
0:06:15 > 0:06:18MUSIC: "White Riot" by The Clash
0:06:18 > 0:06:21Never mind Norman Bates, you wouldn't want to get in a shower with her, would you?
0:06:23 > 0:06:25Yes, musical satire, yes!
0:06:26 > 0:06:31It was just fun, it was, you know, that energy, that wonderful energy.
0:06:31 > 0:06:34And to be involved in that, it was just fantastic.
0:06:34 > 0:06:38Sorry, guv'nor, apples and pears, tit-for-tat,
0:06:38 > 0:06:41I love London Town, and I was at Violet's funeral.
0:06:41 > 0:06:43'Well, the Young Ones were my pals.'
0:06:43 > 0:06:45And they threw me in, occasionally.
0:06:47 > 0:06:49Appearances on the revolutionary Young Ones,
0:06:49 > 0:06:53and Behind The Green Door With Kevin Turvey, Rik Mayall's other comedy creation,
0:06:53 > 0:06:56cemented Robbie's credentials as an alternative comedian.
0:06:57 > 0:07:00Telly's crap today.
0:07:01 > 0:07:04What do you mean? There's a war film on in a bit.
0:07:04 > 0:07:08You know, "Kevin Tur-voi", you know, comes from Redditch and I wasn't
0:07:08 > 0:07:13quite sure how to do the accent, but Rik gave me lots of notes.
0:07:13 > 0:07:14I've got four pairs of shoes, right?
0:07:14 > 0:07:18Now, one of them is brown and the rest are black.
0:07:20 > 0:07:22Now, I lend him the brown ones, in fact,
0:07:22 > 0:07:26I have done on a couple of occasions, but not the black ones.
0:07:26 > 0:07:30I know it sounds odd, but it's just the way I like to live my life.
0:07:31 > 0:07:34But it was The Comic Strip to which Robbie always returned,
0:07:34 > 0:07:38which allowed him to show off his versatility as a comic actor.
0:07:38 > 0:07:42One of my favourite characters Robbie ever played
0:07:42 > 0:07:44with The Comic Strip was in a film called Gino,
0:07:44 > 0:07:47where he plays this sort of desperate character called Max.
0:07:47 > 0:07:49Do you want a lift?
0:07:49 > 0:07:52Who is careering across the countryside in a Mk 10 Jag.
0:07:52 > 0:07:55And he's having a mental breakdown and he's drinking Scotch
0:07:55 > 0:07:57and he pulls up and he takes up with this young couple,
0:07:57 > 0:08:00Keith Allen and Jennifer Saunders, and just unburdens
0:08:00 > 0:08:04himself on them in this kind of monologue, which is just fantastic.
0:08:04 > 0:08:08I'm an epileptic. Well, I've been all right since Christmas.
0:08:08 > 0:08:12My wife says I'm crazy and ought to be locked up. Perhaps she's right!
0:08:12 > 0:08:15God, she's beautiful. Wish I could see her.
0:08:15 > 0:08:18She won't let me in the house without a lawyer.
0:08:18 > 0:08:20I mean, that's not a proper marriage, is it? Hmm?
0:08:20 > 0:08:23- Are you, er, are you married?- No.
0:08:23 > 0:08:26It's a great high-energy performance from Robbie
0:08:26 > 0:08:29and I think it is still very funny.
0:08:29 > 0:08:32Probably a part he understands quite well, really.
0:08:32 > 0:08:37I admit it, I am a bit of a mess just now. I haven't slept for seven days.
0:08:37 > 0:08:41'I remember sitting in the car thinking,'
0:08:41 > 0:08:46"This is a bit unbelievable," you know, the dog-ends, the whisky.
0:08:46 > 0:08:50And I remember thinking, "It's a little bit over the top here,"
0:08:50 > 0:08:52and Robbie going, "Am I all right? Am I mad?"
0:08:52 > 0:08:55If someone doesn't start to understand me right now,
0:08:55 > 0:08:58I'm going to kill us all, and I mean it!
0:08:58 > 0:09:02But many years later, I remember being that person, being Robbie!
0:09:05 > 0:09:08Because The Comic Strip was sort of this troupe, you know,
0:09:08 > 0:09:11was sort of this gang, who took on loads of different roles
0:09:11 > 0:09:13and actually churned out the product, you know,
0:09:13 > 0:09:16they did a lot of stuff, it was almost like, I guess,
0:09:16 > 0:09:19being in a sort of travelling theatre troupe where you have
0:09:19 > 0:09:22to do all the roles and you have to really put the work in,
0:09:22 > 0:09:24and that's great experience
0:09:24 > 0:09:26and you really learn your craft by doing that.
0:09:26 > 0:09:28Who are you?
0:09:28 > 0:09:31I'm Ken Livingstone, I live upstairs.
0:09:31 > 0:09:34Not Dr Livingstone, I presume?
0:09:34 > 0:09:38No, I'm not a doctor, well, not in a medical sense.
0:09:38 > 0:09:43Robbie played Charles Bronson as Ken Livingstone in a film we did called GLC.
0:09:43 > 0:09:46Which was kind of like a spoof of the Death Wish films.
0:09:46 > 0:09:50It's a story about an ordinary guy whose wife
0:09:50 > 0:09:53and family gets wiped out by these creeps.
0:09:53 > 0:09:56So naturally, he has to follow them
0:09:56 > 0:10:01and wipe them out one at a time in a prolonged and very cruel way.
0:10:01 > 0:10:02I see, thank you.
0:10:02 > 0:10:05I just thought it was a great choice, actually.
0:10:05 > 0:10:08Because an awful lot of these films are about revenge,
0:10:08 > 0:10:12about people going, "You think you know my family?
0:10:12 > 0:10:14"I know YOUR family."
0:10:14 > 0:10:19OK, those of you that don't know, my name is Ken Livingstone.
0:10:19 > 0:10:23I'm looking for councillors who ain't afraid to get their hands a little dirty. You, what do you do?
0:10:23 > 0:10:26London Transport, trains and buses, sir.
0:10:26 > 0:10:29- Halve the fares, old people travel for free.- Sorry, sir?- You heard me.
0:10:29 > 0:10:33- Yes, sir.- Joan, go to the bank, borrow some money for CND.
0:10:33 > 0:10:38- I want those cruise missiles out by Christmas.- Sure, Ken.- You...
0:10:38 > 0:10:40I want you to take care of the black minorities.
0:10:40 > 0:10:44- Set up theatres, sports centres, recreational grounds.- Yes, sir.
0:10:44 > 0:10:46And equalise some women. You...
0:10:46 > 0:10:48'Robbie does great voices.'
0:10:48 > 0:10:55And he just seemed to me to be... a Renaissance man, really.
0:10:55 > 0:10:58He was a jack of all trades, a master of quite a few of them.
0:10:58 > 0:11:00Start a new movement, call it Gay Pride.
0:11:00 > 0:11:03- Let's get those gays out of the closet!- Oh, yes, sir!
0:11:03 > 0:11:07All right, let's move it out! Come on, let's shake this city up!
0:11:07 > 0:11:10CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:11:10 > 0:11:13'The only people who were doing anything
0:11:13 > 0:11:17'that could be held as a drama was The Comic Strip.'
0:11:17 > 0:11:19I'm not bigging myself up here when I say that.
0:11:19 > 0:11:21DEEP VOICE: Or perhaps slightly!
0:11:21 > 0:11:23No, I think it was great.
0:11:23 > 0:11:26No-one else was doing it. Who is doing it now?
0:11:27 > 0:11:30During the early '80s, as well as being a Comic Strip member,
0:11:30 > 0:11:35Robbie was also the go-to man for more mainstream comedy sketch shows.
0:11:35 > 0:11:39Starring in Laugh? I Nearly Paid My Licence Fee, The Lenny Henry Show
0:11:39 > 0:11:41and A Kick Up The Eighties, among others,
0:11:41 > 0:11:42Robbie was given the freedom
0:11:42 > 0:11:45to create dozens of new comedy characters.
0:11:45 > 0:11:50Oh, hello. No, don't, please, you'll spoil it, the pills will wear off!
0:11:50 > 0:11:52You'll love this.
0:11:52 > 0:11:54What's the difference between a snowman and a snowgirl?
0:11:54 > 0:11:56- Snowballs.- Sorry?- SNOWBALLS!
0:11:56 > 0:11:58Nim! Nim! Nim!
0:11:58 > 0:12:01'In many ways, it was kind of like rep.'
0:12:01 > 0:12:05Repertory theatre, where one week,
0:12:05 > 0:12:10you'd be playing the gorgeous 18-year-old - some chance there -
0:12:10 > 0:12:13um, and then, the next week, they'd make you up
0:12:13 > 0:12:15and play an 85-year-old person.
0:12:18 > 0:12:21But even in more mainstream shows, Robbie was keen to stretch
0:12:21 > 0:12:24traditionally held values to the limit.
0:12:24 > 0:12:28# Mason Boyne on the march, once again... #
0:12:28 > 0:12:35We invented this character called Mason Boyne. So controversial!
0:12:35 > 0:12:39# Mason Boyne, Mason Boyne, Mason Boyne! #
0:12:39 > 0:12:41It was very incendiary at the time.
0:12:41 > 0:12:43We got a lot of very unpleasant letters, I have to say.
0:12:43 > 0:12:46But we also did the Pope the next week.
0:12:46 > 0:12:49"Give me some talcum powder," you know what I mean?
0:12:49 > 0:12:50He says, "Sure, Your Holiness.
0:12:50 > 0:12:52"Can you walk this way?" I said,
0:12:52 > 0:12:55"If I could walk that way, I'd be in Brideshead Revisited!"
0:12:55 > 0:13:01In 1983, he was asked to join Alfresco, a new comedy sketch team,
0:13:01 > 0:13:04which contained some kids just out of university.
0:13:04 > 0:13:07They said, "There's a bunch of smarty-pants young people
0:13:07 > 0:13:12"coming down from Cambridge, who have done the Footlights.
0:13:12 > 0:13:15"But I think they need a steadying influence..."
0:13:15 > 0:13:19HE LAUGHS "..of an older performer."
0:13:19 > 0:13:24I just thought... Well, the F word was involved.
0:13:24 > 0:13:28The question, surely, sir, is why the only totally blind officer
0:13:28 > 0:13:32we have gets the job of forger!
0:13:32 > 0:13:34You heartless swine, Kuryakin!
0:13:34 > 0:13:38You know perfectly well that man went blind recreating the minutest
0:13:38 > 0:13:42- detail of 1,000 Nazi documents! - Oh, come off it, Charlie!
0:13:42 > 0:13:44We all know that's not the reason he went blind!
0:13:44 > 0:13:47'They were quite staggeringly talented.'
0:13:47 > 0:13:53It was just astonishing, how productive they were.
0:13:53 > 0:13:56'Can you imagine getting those people in a room now?'
0:13:56 > 0:13:58So, I started off with this.
0:13:58 > 0:14:02And I ended up with...this.
0:14:02 > 0:14:04Good God!
0:14:04 > 0:14:07Gentleman, meet Gertie the Woman.
0:14:08 > 0:14:12Robbie had had small parts in feature films before,
0:14:12 > 0:14:17but in 1985, The Comic Strip moved from TV to the big screen,
0:14:17 > 0:14:19and took Robbie with them.
0:14:19 > 0:14:22Directed by Peter Richardson, The Supergrass was to give us
0:14:22 > 0:14:25one of Robbie's most memorable on-screen moments.
0:14:25 > 0:14:31The walk down the breakwater is one of my finest hours, you know.
0:14:31 > 0:14:36Playing a complete psychopath English policeman,
0:14:36 > 0:14:40who had come to sort somebody out with a chainsaw.
0:14:46 > 0:14:48We were shooting in a cove in Devon
0:14:48 > 0:14:50and there was a big storm, and I said,
0:14:50 > 0:14:54"What would be really good in my film is if you were to walk,
0:14:54 > 0:14:57"with your chainsaw, down that breakwater."
0:14:58 > 0:15:01"Straight through the waves."
0:15:01 > 0:15:05And Robbie said, "Are you trying to make a snuff movie? Are you mad?"
0:15:05 > 0:15:08I said, "There are a lot of girls over there who think
0:15:08 > 0:15:10"you're a hero and think you're very sexy."
0:15:10 > 0:15:12He took a slug of whisky and said, "OK, I'll do it."
0:15:12 > 0:15:18MUSIC: "Two Tribes" by Frankie Goes To Hollywood
0:15:20 > 0:15:24'It was the most exhilarating, wonderful thing to do.'
0:15:24 > 0:15:27Just when the waves hit and splashed over you, it was lovely.
0:15:27 > 0:15:31I really enjoyed it, actually. So I had to do it four times.
0:15:33 > 0:15:36We did have to walk down there, in that weather,
0:15:36 > 0:15:37and it was pretty dodgy.
0:15:41 > 0:15:44Yeah, it was good, it was a brilliant image.
0:15:47 > 0:15:50'There were two little safety boats.'
0:15:50 > 0:15:55He said, "We're going, Rob." I said, "I'm sorry?" "We're going."
0:15:55 > 0:16:00And I was actually on the pier when they said it. "We're going, Rob. It's too dangerous now for us."
0:16:00 > 0:16:04I said, "But the safety boats have just said they're going away."
0:16:04 > 0:16:09And he said, "Rob, I wouldn't normally ask you to do this..."
0:16:09 > 0:16:13Which is, as you know, every director's favourite line.
0:16:15 > 0:16:18It was quite an impressive moment, really,
0:16:18 > 0:16:23Robbie still talks about it as one of his daring moments of cinema.
0:16:28 > 0:16:31I think you can really see Robbie Coltrane blossoming,
0:16:31 > 0:16:35as those early TV shows kind of morphed into Comic Strip movies
0:16:35 > 0:16:38and things a little bit more ambitious.
0:16:38 > 0:16:41Because, you know, he had the ability and he had
0:16:41 > 0:16:46the versatility and it just needed the right outlet to show that off.
0:16:47 > 0:16:48And that outlet came,
0:16:48 > 0:16:52as Robbie began to be offered more serious film roles, including
0:16:52 > 0:16:55playing alongside Bob Hoskins in the Neil Jordan film, Mona Lisa.
0:16:55 > 0:17:00But in 1986, he was given a part in a groundbreaking series
0:17:00 > 0:17:03which was to show that Big Robbie could play the lead.
0:17:05 > 0:17:07# You shake my nerves and you rattle my brain
0:17:07 > 0:17:09# Too much love drives a man insane
0:17:09 > 0:17:12# You broke my will, but what a thrill
0:17:12 > 0:17:15# Goodness gracious, great balls of fire! #
0:17:15 > 0:17:19Set in Robbie's hometown of Glasgow, Tutti Frutti followed
0:17:19 > 0:17:23the fortunes of The Majestics, a once-successful rock'n'roll band.
0:17:23 > 0:17:28Written by John Byrne, the series served up equal measures of laugh-out-loud comedy, romance...
0:17:30 > 0:17:33..and violence, to a classic '50s soundtrack.
0:17:33 > 0:17:34I'll give you the recipe!
0:17:36 > 0:17:38# You're fine, so kind, I wanna, oh
0:17:38 > 0:17:40# A-wop-bop-a-loom-op, a-lop-bam-boom! #
0:17:40 > 0:17:45I remember the day I opened it and read it and just laughed my head off.
0:17:45 > 0:17:50Right. I vote we take him out and beat the living jobbies out of him.
0:17:50 > 0:17:52Nothing personal, pal, it's just you're a jerk.
0:17:52 > 0:17:56- Haw, wait a minute here!- You know what you are, don't ye?
0:17:56 > 0:17:57You're a moron.
0:17:57 > 0:18:02I think a show like Tutti Frutti, which was just drama,
0:18:02 > 0:18:04it was...
0:18:04 > 0:18:09You couldn't define it as anything other than that, it wasn't comedy...
0:18:09 > 0:18:13- Shut up!- Dennis. The name is Dennis, in case you forgot.- Fine.
0:18:13 > 0:18:14Shut up, Dennis!
0:18:14 > 0:18:15BRAKES SCREECH
0:18:17 > 0:18:19You are not talking to one of the roadies
0:18:19 > 0:18:22of your art college bands now, pal, so watch it!
0:18:22 > 0:18:23There was no half measures,
0:18:23 > 0:18:26you were either in love or you were oot the windae!
0:18:26 > 0:18:31And that's very John Byrne, and I loved that, because people say, "Oh, it was a comedy, wasn't it?"
0:18:31 > 0:18:33And you think, well, was it that much of a comedy?
0:18:33 > 0:18:36There was a suicide in it and a guy who covered himself in petrol
0:18:36 > 0:18:40and set himself on fire. Would that pass as comedy?
0:18:40 > 0:18:43I think John Byrne broke the mould with that.
0:18:43 > 0:18:45Did I ever tell you that
0:18:45 > 0:18:48almost my entire body is one enormous erogenous zone?
0:18:48 > 0:18:52- I'm talking to the doll. - Two 35s, please.
0:18:54 > 0:18:57At the heart of the multi-award-winning series
0:18:57 > 0:18:59was the will-they, won't-they relationship between Robbie
0:18:59 > 0:19:03and his old Alfresco pal, Emma Thompson.
0:19:06 > 0:19:10# Well, that'll be the day when you say goodbye... #
0:19:10 > 0:19:14People used to offer me money in the streets, you'll not believe this,
0:19:14 > 0:19:19saying, "So, do they or don't they? I'll give you 500 quid."
0:19:19 > 0:19:22If you don't quit shouting, I'm shoving this toilet bag
0:19:22 > 0:19:24and its contents down your stupid throat!
0:19:24 > 0:19:26Sorry.
0:19:26 > 0:19:28She taught me so much about acting.
0:19:28 > 0:19:32She comes from an acting family, I come from a family of doctors,
0:19:32 > 0:19:34what would I know about acting? She taught me so much.
0:19:34 > 0:19:37Lie down and shut up!
0:19:37 > 0:19:39- Suzi?- What?
0:19:39 > 0:19:42You look sensational when you're hopping mad.
0:19:42 > 0:19:44Consider my offer of marriage re-negotiable.
0:19:45 > 0:19:47I'm asleep, I'm asleep!
0:19:47 > 0:19:49HE PRETENDS TO SNORE
0:19:49 > 0:19:52We have that intensity.
0:19:52 > 0:19:56There was never any kind of question of, you know...
0:19:56 > 0:19:59because we are brother and sister, very close.
0:20:01 > 0:20:03The more serious side of Robbie Coltrane
0:20:03 > 0:20:05was beginning to emerge on screen.
0:20:05 > 0:20:07But even those closest to him were surprised
0:20:07 > 0:20:11when he decided to perform a one-man show, based on the life
0:20:11 > 0:20:15of the 18th-century man of letters, Dr Samuel Johnson.
0:20:16 > 0:20:19I had a friend once who got his happiness from drink.
0:20:19 > 0:20:22For exercise, he would walk to the alehouse,
0:20:22 > 0:20:26and for relaxation, he would be carried home again.
0:20:26 > 0:20:30He had the confidence to know that he could do it. He could do it.
0:20:30 > 0:20:33And it was very well received.
0:20:33 > 0:20:37Because it was very different from what he was doing at that time.
0:20:37 > 0:20:41So, I'd like to take this opportunity to set a few things straight.
0:20:41 > 0:20:44For example, my days were not just spent
0:20:44 > 0:20:47making one clever remark after another.
0:20:47 > 0:20:51The weird thing was that Tutti Frutti was on television at the time,
0:20:51 > 0:20:55so I'm playing this slightly manic, Glaswegian rock 'n' roller.
0:20:56 > 0:21:00And on stage at night, I'm playing one of the great literary heroes
0:21:00 > 0:21:05of, well, of English literature.
0:21:05 > 0:21:08But this Johnson that Boswell wrote about was his hero.
0:21:08 > 0:21:14I just thought, "Now I really am an actor." I thought, "Yes!
0:21:16 > 0:21:18"Danny McGlone...
0:21:19 > 0:21:23"Samuel Johnson. I really am an actor now."
0:21:23 > 0:21:26Spying an opportunity for some new comic material,
0:21:26 > 0:21:29the Blackadder writers, Richard Curtis and Ben Elton,
0:21:29 > 0:21:32made sure they saw Robbie's Dr Johnson.
0:21:33 > 0:21:38They came, I'm sure, out of loyalty, as I'm sure a lot of chums did,
0:21:38 > 0:21:41and, erm, I don't know if they had the idea to put
0:21:41 > 0:21:46Johnson into Blackadder before that, and they just came to check me out.
0:21:46 > 0:21:48I wouldn't have put it beyond them!
0:21:48 > 0:21:53- Dr Johnson, your Highness. - Ah, Dr Johnson! Damn cold day.
0:21:53 > 0:21:55Indeed it is, sir, but a very fine one.
0:21:55 > 0:21:59For I celebrated last night the encyclopaedic implementation
0:21:59 > 0:22:02of my premeditated orchestration of demotic Anglo-Saxon.
0:22:05 > 0:22:07No, didn't catch any of that.
0:22:07 > 0:22:12And he just thought, "Let's have a scene with Blackadder
0:22:12 > 0:22:16"upstaging Johnson." I just thought, fantastic idea!
0:22:16 > 0:22:20"So, would you like to do it?" I said, "Bring it on, boys."
0:22:20 > 0:22:23I believe, sir, that the Doctor is trying to tell you that he is
0:22:23 > 0:22:24happy because he has finished his book.
0:22:24 > 0:22:28It has apparently taken him 10 years.
0:22:28 > 0:22:30Yes, well, I'm a slow reader myself.
0:22:34 > 0:22:36The one thing we know about Dr Johnson is that he wrote
0:22:36 > 0:22:39the first dictionary, and so forth.
0:22:39 > 0:22:44And then, out of pure spite, er, Rowan gives him
0:22:44 > 0:22:47a word that he knows that he can't have...
0:22:47 > 0:22:52that he can't have seen before, because Rowan has just invented it.
0:22:52 > 0:22:53I hope you will not object
0:22:53 > 0:22:58if I also offer the Doctor my most enthusiastic contrafibularities.
0:22:59 > 0:23:00What?
0:23:00 > 0:23:04Contrafibularities, sir. It is a common word, down our way.
0:23:04 > 0:23:06Damn!
0:23:06 > 0:23:10Oh, I'm sorry, sir. I am adyspeptic... frasmotic...
0:23:12 > 0:23:16..even compunctuous to have caused you such pericumbobulations.
0:23:17 > 0:23:18What, what, what?!
0:23:18 > 0:23:21He walks on set with the absolute comic genius that is
0:23:21 > 0:23:24Rowan Atkinson and he is surrounded by all these amazing comedians...
0:23:24 > 0:23:28I'm sorry, sir, I merely wished to congratulate the Doctor
0:23:28 > 0:23:30on not having left out a single word.
0:23:30 > 0:23:35And then he just walked in and played this perfect Dr Johnson, this
0:23:35 > 0:23:40huge, Scottish guy, effete and comic and whimsical, and it was perfect.
0:23:40 > 0:23:44There is certainly a fieriness in him, there is
0:23:44 > 0:23:46a passion in him, when actually, I think
0:23:46 > 0:23:51that's partly why he works so well in a lot of historical dramas,
0:23:51 > 0:23:54which he went on to do later on in his career,
0:23:54 > 0:23:59because often in historical dramas, certainly comedic ones,
0:23:59 > 0:24:02you want that sort of Dickensian caricature, don't you,
0:24:02 > 0:24:04you want someone a bit over the top.
0:24:04 > 0:24:09- Tell me, sir, what words particularly interested you?- Oh, nothing.
0:24:09 > 0:24:13- Anything, really, you know. - I see you've underlined a few.
0:24:13 > 0:24:16Bloomers, bottom, burp...
0:24:18 > 0:24:20- Mm.- Fart? Fiddle? Fornicate?- Well...
0:24:20 > 0:24:23Sir, I hope you are not using the first English dictionary
0:24:23 > 0:24:25to look up rude words!
0:24:25 > 0:24:26I wouldn't be too hopeful,
0:24:26 > 0:24:28that's what all the other ones will be used for.
0:24:28 > 0:24:31By this stage of his career,
0:24:31 > 0:24:34it seemed Robbie Coltrane could play any part.
0:24:34 > 0:24:39His fearlessness and versatility made him a casting director's dream.
0:24:39 > 0:24:42But even Robbie felt he was way out of his depth
0:24:42 > 0:24:45when Kenneth Branagh asked him to take the role of lovable old rogue
0:24:45 > 0:24:49Falstaff in his version of Shakespeare's Henry V.
0:24:50 > 0:24:54So, I walk onto the set and there's all these Shakespearean actors,
0:24:54 > 0:24:58you know, like Robert Stephens and, well, Branagh, for God's sake,
0:24:58 > 0:25:00and Em and all these people. Oh, my God!
0:25:01 > 0:25:03Hal!
0:25:03 > 0:25:05'But actually, once you get into it,'
0:25:05 > 0:25:06it is like rapping.
0:25:06 > 0:25:08Ah!
0:25:08 > 0:25:13If sack and sugar be a fault, then God help the wicked. Mm?
0:25:13 > 0:25:20If to be old and merry is a sin, if to be fat is to be hated...
0:25:21 > 0:25:23No, my good lord.
0:25:23 > 0:25:25He was so encouraging, he said,
0:25:25 > 0:25:31"You can do this, Robbie, you can do this!" And so, he got me to do it.
0:25:31 > 0:25:36When thou art King, banish Pistol,
0:25:36 > 0:25:39banish Bardolph, banish Nym.
0:25:41 > 0:25:45But sweet Jack Falstaff, valiant Jack Falstaff,
0:25:45 > 0:25:52and therefore more valiant, being as he is, old Jack Falstaff,
0:25:52 > 0:25:56banish not him, thou had his company.
0:25:57 > 0:26:00Banish plump Jack and banish all the world.
0:26:02 > 0:26:07You expect Falstaff to be a silly old, fat old, bumbling old coward.
0:26:07 > 0:26:09And Robbie is none of those things.
0:26:09 > 0:26:15And so again, you know, you cast somebody who is
0:26:15 > 0:26:20a very, very unexpected route into a character.
0:26:20 > 0:26:25And Robbie will always satisfy you with that,
0:26:25 > 0:26:27never disappoint.
0:26:27 > 0:26:28You are so fat, Sir John,
0:26:28 > 0:26:32that you must indeed be out of all compassment!
0:26:33 > 0:26:35Do thou amend thy face and I'll amend my life.
0:26:37 > 0:26:41There is a great line about Falstaff, they talk about,
0:26:41 > 0:26:45"The grave opens wider for a big man."
0:26:46 > 0:26:51Which means that big men tend to die earlier than thin men.
0:26:51 > 0:26:57But I think generally, history has been quite good to Falstaff.
0:26:58 > 0:27:02Upon my troth, the King has killed his heart.
0:27:02 > 0:27:04CHORAL SINGING
0:27:06 > 0:27:08Robbie returned to doing a one-man show,
0:27:08 > 0:27:11but this time in a series of one-act plays for TV,
0:27:11 > 0:27:16originally written by the Italian and Nobel Prize winner, Dario Fo.
0:27:16 > 0:27:19Revised and updated for a '90s audience, the plays were
0:27:19 > 0:27:22a modern take on perennial religious and political issues.
0:27:22 > 0:27:27Right, ladies and gentlemen, that's your culture for tonight. And offski!
0:27:27 > 0:27:29'The important thing about Mistero Bufo'
0:27:29 > 0:27:31is whatever your theories
0:27:31 > 0:27:34are about God and religion and so forth, you have to play it
0:27:34 > 0:27:38absolutely as though it's happening, as if you were there.
0:27:39 > 0:27:41What about the holy family?
0:27:41 > 0:27:43Do you think they'd have got a mobility allowance?
0:27:45 > 0:27:47Well, there they are, there they are,
0:27:47 > 0:27:51a family on their way to Bethlehem to register for the poll tax...
0:27:53 > 0:27:57Come with me, why don't you, while we see how the Nativity might have been.
0:27:57 > 0:28:00The monologues had Robbie playing dozens of different characters,
0:28:00 > 0:28:04which director Morag Fullarton stage-managed in a very clever way.
0:28:04 > 0:28:07I don't care if they are swaddling clothes, madam,
0:28:07 > 0:28:10they're bloody unhygienic!
0:28:10 > 0:28:14She said, "All you have to do is establish where the characters are on the stage."
0:28:14 > 0:28:17And I guess, my doubt was, if I'm honest,
0:28:17 > 0:28:20could the audience keep up with that?
0:28:20 > 0:28:23Right, sir, you'll be the father?
0:28:23 > 0:28:25'She said, "No, no, no. All you have to do,'
0:28:25 > 0:28:27"you have to do one character there..."
0:28:27 > 0:28:30It's a big stage, you're just on your tod.
0:28:30 > 0:28:32"..and do another character there, another there."
0:28:34 > 0:28:38And you, madam, are you the mother? Oh, that's nice.
0:28:39 > 0:28:42"They will know, when you run to that position,
0:28:42 > 0:28:47"that you are the old wifey, you are Jesus, you are whatever."
0:28:47 > 0:28:50I think I'm getting the picture here, yes.
0:28:51 > 0:28:54And this will be the son of God, is it? Yes...
0:28:54 > 0:28:56'We had a few runs, and it works.'
0:28:56 > 0:29:00The audience were so ahead of you, you could literally
0:29:00 > 0:29:02stand in one position and go, "Oh, dearie me,
0:29:02 > 0:29:04"he's coming oot the grave, and look,
0:29:04 > 0:29:07"look at the little beasties coming out of his eyes!"
0:29:07 > 0:29:11And then, you'd run over there and go, "Want to rent yourself
0:29:11 > 0:29:14"a very nice little deckchair to watch the miracle?
0:29:14 > 0:29:16"Cost you 12-and-a-half pence."
0:29:18 > 0:29:21This could be seen as Robbie's religious period,
0:29:21 > 0:29:26as his next two feature films both had ecclesiastical themes.
0:29:26 > 0:29:31Nuns On The Run was a slapstick caper comedy, co-starring Eric idle.
0:29:31 > 0:29:34Robbie's other religious movie, the slightly more incendiary
0:29:34 > 0:29:39The Pope Must Die, was made by his old pals, The Comic Strip.
0:29:39 > 0:29:41I mean, it just caused a lot of fuss, this film,
0:29:41 > 0:29:43you know, the title alone.
0:29:43 > 0:29:46It was based on the book, The King Must Die, it wasn't,
0:29:46 > 0:29:48"The Pope must die, because he's a Catholic."
0:29:48 > 0:29:52The Pope's dead and that's the big news story here in Rome today.
0:29:52 > 0:29:55We're gonna see him get buried, live on CNN,
0:29:55 > 0:29:57right after these messages.
0:29:57 > 0:30:01Originally, it was written for Steve Martin, years before,
0:30:01 > 0:30:02and he didn't want to touch it.
0:30:04 > 0:30:08Robbie is playing this pope who gets selected by mistake
0:30:08 > 0:30:11and then gets embroiled in this sort of Vatican corruption.
0:30:11 > 0:30:14You got the wrong guy.
0:30:14 > 0:30:17They all say that.
0:30:17 > 0:30:20It was quite determined to play him as a good man, as an honest,
0:30:20 > 0:30:23decent Christian man - which he was -
0:30:23 > 0:30:26who's suddenly... The big finger pointed at him,
0:30:26 > 0:30:28because of a mistake.
0:30:28 > 0:30:30I was so impressed, actually.
0:30:30 > 0:30:33It was the first time I'd seen Robbie do a serious role
0:30:33 > 0:30:36and he suddenly had this aura of sort of innocence
0:30:36 > 0:30:39and holiness about him that I just thought was...
0:30:39 > 0:30:43I totally believed that he was that person.
0:30:43 > 0:30:45Oh, what's out here?
0:30:45 > 0:30:48CROWD CHEERS
0:30:50 > 0:30:53I really do have to speak to somebody who's in charge.
0:30:53 > 0:30:54That's you.
0:30:54 > 0:30:58While The Pope Must Die had a cinema release in the UK,
0:30:58 > 0:31:00when the film was taken to the United States,
0:31:00 > 0:31:03fear of offending the large Catholic population
0:31:03 > 0:31:06meant a slight change of title.
0:31:06 > 0:31:09The Pope Must Diet, as it was renamed,
0:31:09 > 0:31:13was called that for the American audiences.
0:31:13 > 0:31:16I think in terms of movie title changes,
0:31:16 > 0:31:19actually it's one of the best ones. It really works.
0:31:19 > 0:31:21I mean, all they had to do was put a T at the end
0:31:21 > 0:31:23which I think on the poster they probably put
0:31:23 > 0:31:24in the shape of a crucifix,
0:31:24 > 0:31:27and it all sort of tied in and it was all very neat.
0:31:27 > 0:31:29We're late!
0:31:34 > 0:31:37In 1993, Robbie went from the confessional box
0:31:37 > 0:31:39to the psychologist's chair,
0:31:39 > 0:31:42when he took on a role which would change his life.
0:31:43 > 0:31:47Dr Fitzgerald is now ready to give us his lecture.
0:31:49 > 0:31:53When I first conceived of Fitz, I was very thin and wiry
0:31:53 > 0:31:55and full of nervous energy.
0:31:55 > 0:31:59I also admired an American actor called John Cassavetes,
0:31:59 > 0:32:02who was much the same, and that's the kind of character
0:32:02 > 0:32:06I had in mind - you know, a thin, wiry guy full of nervous energy.
0:32:06 > 0:32:10He always imagined Fitz to be a small, wiry man
0:32:10 > 0:32:13who'd been in the army for most of his life.
0:32:13 > 0:32:15Natural choice(!)
0:32:18 > 0:32:23I remember going home and I said to the wife and kids,
0:32:23 > 0:32:27"Oh, God, they've only cast Robbie Coltrane as Fitz, you know."
0:32:27 > 0:32:31My lad and two daughters, who were young then, very media savvy,
0:32:31 > 0:32:33they said, "That's a brilliant idea."
0:32:33 > 0:32:34Spinoza...
0:32:37 > 0:32:39Descartes...
0:32:39 > 0:32:40Locke...
0:32:40 > 0:32:44Cracker certainly changed British drama.
0:32:44 > 0:32:46You know, American cop shows
0:32:46 > 0:32:49had started to change into something quite bleak.
0:32:49 > 0:32:52They weren't just about getting the bad guy any more,
0:32:52 > 0:32:55they were also about the issues that the lead character had.
0:32:55 > 0:32:59I rehearsed the death of my father for years.
0:32:59 > 0:33:01I even got a little bored.
0:33:02 > 0:33:03I knew all my lines,
0:33:03 > 0:33:07but he was still alive and I never got my opening night.
0:33:07 > 0:33:09You had the crime story going on,
0:33:09 > 0:33:13that he was part of and investigating,
0:33:13 > 0:33:17but this guy also had major issues himself
0:33:17 > 0:33:19and was arguably more troubled
0:33:19 > 0:33:22than a lot of the people he was trying to catch.
0:33:22 > 0:33:26It was a long way away from the smooth, suave detective
0:33:26 > 0:33:29like a sort of Bergerac-type character,
0:33:29 > 0:33:31from around the same time.
0:33:31 > 0:33:33You know, this was someone with serious issues.
0:33:33 > 0:33:34How are you fixed, Eddie?
0:33:36 > 0:33:39No chance, Fitz.
0:33:39 > 0:33:40What about cashing a cheque, yeah?
0:33:40 > 0:33:4230, 35, 40...
0:33:42 > 0:33:44Am I speaking Urdu or something?
0:33:46 > 0:33:49'He was not a lovable guy. He wasn't a great father,'
0:33:49 > 0:33:52he drank too much, he smoked too much, he was a gambler...
0:33:52 > 0:33:53Come on, you lazy...
0:33:55 > 0:33:57I've got an expression now -
0:33:57 > 0:33:59if I'd known I was going to last this long
0:33:59 > 0:34:02I'd have taken better care of myself, you know?
0:34:02 > 0:34:06I'll give that to Fitz one day hopefully, you know what I mean?
0:34:06 > 0:34:08He's gambling that he's not going to live that long,
0:34:08 > 0:34:10so why take care of yourself?
0:34:10 > 0:34:12Everything in his life's a gamble.
0:34:12 > 0:34:14How bad this time?
0:34:16 > 0:34:20Over the limit on both cards. Two grand overdrawn at the bank.
0:34:22 > 0:34:26Such a damaged character, and yet he's not a cliche in any way.
0:34:26 > 0:34:28Such an incredibly bright person
0:34:28 > 0:34:31who can't see his way through his own problems.
0:34:31 > 0:34:34Women love that tortured stuff.
0:34:34 > 0:34:37- Anything else?- No.
0:34:43 > 0:34:47I raised five grand of the mortgage. Told them it was for a new bathroom.
0:34:49 > 0:34:54To hell with all your conventional political philosophies,
0:34:54 > 0:34:57you know, your anti-racism, your anti-sexism,
0:34:57 > 0:35:00your anti-homophobia, all that political stuff
0:35:00 > 0:35:04I will now ignore and I will speak what's in my heart.
0:35:04 > 0:35:06So, he came from that as well.
0:35:08 > 0:35:11There's a great sadness in your life.
0:35:11 > 0:35:12'It kind of broke new ground, really.
0:35:12 > 0:35:14'I mean, it was the forerunner'
0:35:14 > 0:35:19of the psychology of murder as opposed to
0:35:19 > 0:35:25the detection of murder and it was brutal, you know?
0:35:25 > 0:35:29Underneath it all there's blood, and filth, and stench,
0:35:29 > 0:35:33and hair - tatty, matted, disfiguring hair.
0:35:33 > 0:35:36'In a way, the audience knew who'd done it'
0:35:36 > 0:35:39and how would anybody else find out who'd done it,
0:35:39 > 0:35:42if only by understanding the psychology
0:35:42 > 0:35:45of the bad person who'd done it,
0:35:45 > 0:35:47'which was a hugely new idea.'
0:35:47 > 0:35:50I'm saying I understand, yes?
0:35:52 > 0:35:54Yes.
0:35:54 > 0:35:57There were all kinds of influences on Cracker,
0:35:57 > 0:36:01but I think the biggest was the first episode of Prime Suspect,
0:36:01 > 0:36:07where the prime suspect was there right from the beginning, you know?
0:36:07 > 0:36:10And that seems to me to be an obvious thing to do,
0:36:10 > 0:36:14because the most interesting person in a crime story is the criminal.
0:36:15 > 0:36:18Is that how it was? Is it?
0:36:20 > 0:36:22It's you who needs the psychologist.
0:36:25 > 0:36:28'That's the essence of Fitz -'
0:36:28 > 0:36:30a man adept at examining his own conscience
0:36:30 > 0:36:34and thus able to examine other people's consciences.
0:36:34 > 0:36:36You're paying some poor, downtrodden cow
0:36:36 > 0:36:40- £2 an hour to look after your child. - That's enough, Fitz!
0:36:40 > 0:36:43Your child, a thing that means most to you in the world,
0:36:43 > 0:36:45£2 an hour and you've got a cleaner.
0:36:45 > 0:36:47Oh, we'll talk again when you're sober, OK?
0:36:47 > 0:36:50Even in his ordinary life, does he have time to think
0:36:50 > 0:36:54and assess what his words will do to people? I don't think so.
0:36:54 > 0:36:55Bang, bang, bang.
0:36:55 > 0:36:58There's you up on the podium talking about equality and freedom
0:36:58 > 0:37:03and feminism, and she's at home with her arm halfway down your lavatory.
0:37:08 > 0:37:11I think what we have here is a failure to communicate.
0:37:11 > 0:37:12'When I first met Robbie'
0:37:12 > 0:37:16I really had problems, because he was so funny.
0:37:16 > 0:37:18Strictly platonic. Keep your hands to yourself.
0:37:18 > 0:37:20I know it's going to be hard.
0:37:20 > 0:37:24There's nothing I can do about that, OK? It's just hands-off.
0:37:24 > 0:37:26'And he can just change.'
0:37:26 > 0:37:30He can be cracking jokes, absolutely hilarious,
0:37:30 > 0:37:33doing all these kind of crazy voices and then literally,
0:37:33 > 0:37:36they say, "Action," and he's totally in that zone.
0:37:36 > 0:37:38SHE SOBS
0:37:41 > 0:37:43What did he say?
0:37:44 > 0:37:46He said...
0:37:46 > 0:37:49'Fitz could see into people's souls.'
0:37:49 > 0:37:53He saw himself perhaps in all of those characters.
0:37:53 > 0:37:55I think that was what was so powerful.
0:37:55 > 0:37:57You know this man.
0:37:57 > 0:38:01It's someone that you know with a very distinctive voice,
0:38:01 > 0:38:02that's why he said nothing.
0:38:02 > 0:38:04You would wish, would you not,
0:38:04 > 0:38:08if somebody you love had been killed, to have Cracker on your side?
0:38:08 > 0:38:12People will say he was a killer, he was a butcher, but he did one
0:38:12 > 0:38:18decent thing, he confessed so they could bury their daughter.
0:38:18 > 0:38:22'There have been times when I've seen descriptions of a murder and I've just thought,'
0:38:22 > 0:38:23"God, I'd like to get in there,
0:38:23 > 0:38:27I'd love to get Cracker in there for half an hour
0:38:27 > 0:38:30and say, "Oi, mush!"
0:38:30 > 0:38:34- Did the paper come yet?- In the bog. - What?- In the bog.
0:38:35 > 0:38:40'The hallmark of Robbie's work, really, is the element of uneasiness.
0:38:40 > 0:38:42'You're never really in a safe place.'
0:38:42 > 0:38:47As we would say, he never phones in a performance, you know?
0:38:47 > 0:38:48HE SOBS Oh, God.
0:38:50 > 0:38:52'It was a beautifully written series.
0:38:52 > 0:38:54'Those were very good scripts,'
0:38:54 > 0:38:58but he took it to a whole different level with that performance.
0:38:58 > 0:38:59You all right?
0:39:04 > 0:39:06'As a writer,'
0:39:06 > 0:39:09what you need is something to make sure you work.
0:39:09 > 0:39:11As part of the drive for the first series
0:39:11 > 0:39:15they showed me the gigantic life-size poster of Fitz,
0:39:15 > 0:39:19so what I did was I got it framed and I put it behind me.
0:39:19 > 0:39:21As a writer you're tempted to say,
0:39:21 > 0:39:24"That's not quite working, but I've seen worse," you know?
0:39:24 > 0:39:29Then you'd go, "Oh, no!" And so you'd have to...
0:39:29 > 0:39:33You would never settle for that, you would never settle for,
0:39:33 > 0:39:34"I've seen worse."
0:39:34 > 0:39:37You know, you'd only settle for "I cannot do any better".
0:39:37 > 0:39:42McGovern got it absolutely right, I would say.
0:39:42 > 0:39:43End of lecture.
0:39:43 > 0:39:46APPLAUSE
0:39:47 > 0:39:50And the winner is... Robbie Coltrane.
0:39:50 > 0:39:53APPLAUSE
0:39:53 > 0:39:55Cracker ran for three years and Robbie Coltrane
0:39:55 > 0:39:58won the BAFTA for best actor three years in a row
0:39:58 > 0:40:03for his performances of Fitz, a first in BAFTA history.
0:40:03 > 0:40:05There's a saying in poker that you're only as good
0:40:05 > 0:40:08as the people you play with and I was playing with the best.
0:40:08 > 0:40:11Thank you very much. Thank you.
0:40:11 > 0:40:15But it wasn't just the British TV industry who recognised Robbie's talent.
0:40:15 > 0:40:17Big Robbie, not bad, eh?
0:40:17 > 0:40:19New Yorkers would come up and say,
0:40:19 > 0:40:22"I can't believe it, you're Mr Fitz, aren't you?
0:40:22 > 0:40:24"Yes, I am."
0:40:27 > 0:40:30Cracker was a cult hit in the US,
0:40:30 > 0:40:33so they inevitably made their own version.
0:40:33 > 0:40:36And while the American Fitz was slightly more sanitised than our one
0:40:36 > 0:40:42Robbie couldn't resist turning up in one episode as the murderer.
0:40:42 > 0:40:47I'm not worried about you finding me guilty, Doctor. I know your work.
0:40:47 > 0:40:48You'll uncover the truth.
0:40:50 > 0:40:53Cracker had made Robbie Coltrane an international star
0:40:53 > 0:40:56and given him a passport into the big time.
0:40:56 > 0:40:57GUN CLICKS
0:40:59 > 0:41:05Walther PPK, 7.65 millimetre, only three men I know use such a gun.
0:41:05 > 0:41:08I believe I've killed two of them.
0:41:08 > 0:41:09Lucky me.
0:41:09 > 0:41:10GUN CLICKS
0:41:10 > 0:41:11I think not.
0:41:11 > 0:41:13HE SINGS BOND THEME
0:41:15 > 0:41:18A childhood ambition had been to be a Bond baddie,
0:41:18 > 0:41:20and in this remarkable career,
0:41:20 > 0:41:23Robbie saw that come true in 1995 with GoldenEye.
0:41:23 > 0:41:26The franchise was given a much-needed boost with
0:41:26 > 0:41:30the new 007 recapturing some of the old Bond values.
0:41:30 > 0:41:33The Bond movies were a very clever move,
0:41:33 > 0:41:38obviously because they're huge, and I think it really showed
0:41:38 > 0:41:41the status that he had, because you don't get to play
0:41:41 > 0:41:45sort of a cameo role or a supporting role in a Bond movie
0:41:45 > 0:41:46by being an unknown.
0:41:46 > 0:41:50You know, you're Judi Dench if you get asked that, or Sean Bean,
0:41:50 > 0:41:53or Robert Carlyle, those kind of people, you know,
0:41:53 > 0:41:55familiar faces that we all know and love.
0:41:55 > 0:41:57So, it showed that he had reached that stage.
0:41:57 > 0:41:59James Bond...
0:42:00 > 0:42:03Charming, sophisticated secret agent.
0:42:04 > 0:42:06Shaken, but not stirred.
0:42:06 > 0:42:08LAUGHTER
0:42:08 > 0:42:12I see you haven't lost your delicate sense of humour, Valentin.
0:42:12 > 0:42:13You get sent the script,
0:42:13 > 0:42:19it's got 007 feinted on the front and it's got your number underneath
0:42:19 > 0:42:22in case you send it to somebody else and then suddenly,
0:42:22 > 0:42:25you're on the set and there you are in a beautiful suit.
0:42:25 > 0:42:27Who's strangling the cat?
0:42:28 > 0:42:29Strangling a cat?
0:42:29 > 0:42:32- SINGS OFF KEY: - # Stand by your man...
0:42:35 > 0:42:38That is Irina, my mistress.
0:42:38 > 0:42:39'Oh, Pierce, what would it be like'
0:42:39 > 0:42:43to wake up in the morning and look as handsome as that?
0:42:43 > 0:42:45How different would my life have been?
0:42:45 > 0:42:49And then I thought, "Well, I'm here, aren't I?"
0:42:49 > 0:42:50So, why did you not kill me?
0:42:52 > 0:42:54Call it professional courtesy.
0:42:54 > 0:42:58Then I should extend you the same courtesy.
0:43:01 > 0:43:04Kerov's Funeral Parlour, four o'clock this afternoon.
0:43:04 > 0:43:05'It was classic Robbie'
0:43:05 > 0:43:08in that it was another shady character.
0:43:08 > 0:43:11He wasn't the worst guy in a Bond movie.
0:43:11 > 0:43:14He wasn't entirely evil and actually,
0:43:14 > 0:43:17he was sort of a fixer and a middleman but at the same time,
0:43:17 > 0:43:19I mean, he's not someone that you'd
0:43:19 > 0:43:22particularly want to trust implicitly,
0:43:22 > 0:43:25so he was another guy in the shadows.
0:43:25 > 0:43:29After you. I insist.
0:43:29 > 0:43:32In The World Is Not Enough, Robbie's character, Zukovsky,
0:43:32 > 0:43:36a former KGB agent turned gangster, returned with relish.
0:43:36 > 0:43:39Bond! James Bond!
0:43:39 > 0:43:43Meet Nina and Verushka.
0:43:43 > 0:43:46Lose the girls, Valentin, we need to talk.
0:43:46 > 0:43:50Bond movies do bring you back and they do widen out your role
0:43:50 > 0:43:52if you're a success, if people like you.
0:43:52 > 0:43:55You only have to look at Judi Dench in Skyfall
0:43:55 > 0:43:58compared to Judi Dench in GoldenEye. You know, much bigger role
0:43:58 > 0:44:01and that's exactly what Robbie had in The World Is Not Enough.
0:44:01 > 0:44:04I got asked back for the second one, which is a huge honour,
0:44:04 > 0:44:07because no-one gets asked back for a second time.
0:44:07 > 0:44:08Drink?
0:44:08 > 0:44:09DOOR SLAMS
0:44:11 > 0:44:14Can't you just say hello, like a normal person?
0:44:14 > 0:44:17Proving that he'd been a success in the franchise,
0:44:17 > 0:44:21proving, you know, as is the case in so much that he's done,
0:44:21 > 0:44:24that audiences just really respond to him.
0:44:24 > 0:44:27They just have a real warmth
0:44:27 > 0:44:31and feeling of happiness when he's around, you know?
0:44:31 > 0:44:33He seems like a friend, like an old pal.
0:44:33 > 0:44:35GUNSHOTS
0:44:41 > 0:44:44Running around lavish sets with beautiful girls
0:44:44 > 0:44:47while avoiding helicopters customised with giant circular saws
0:44:47 > 0:44:50is all in a day's work for a Bond baddie.
0:44:54 > 0:44:57Though it was the baddie-turned-goodie Zukovsky
0:44:57 > 0:44:59who saved Bond's life in the end.
0:44:59 > 0:45:02He was kind of a baddie, but kind of a goodie.
0:45:08 > 0:45:10HE GASPS
0:45:14 > 0:45:16Watching the Bond movies,
0:45:16 > 0:45:18You thought, "What a long way this guy has come."
0:45:18 > 0:45:22He had sort of moved into a world that actually,
0:45:22 > 0:45:25a lot of his contemporaries have still never got into,
0:45:25 > 0:45:27they've stayed in TV.
0:45:27 > 0:45:30But, you know, he's absolutely conquered movies.
0:45:32 > 0:45:34With Bond and Cracker on the CV,
0:45:34 > 0:45:38Hollywood came after Robbie and they got him.
0:45:38 > 0:45:41From blockbuster action movies with Hugh Jackman,
0:45:41 > 0:45:45romantic weepies with Kevin Costner and Robin Wright Penn,
0:45:45 > 0:45:49to historical murder mysteries with Johnny Depp.
0:45:49 > 0:45:54Then, in 2004, Robbie was asked to appear in Ocean's Twelve
0:45:54 > 0:45:58alongside three of the biggest stars on the planet.
0:45:58 > 0:46:02So finally, she slams her vodka tonic down on the tray
0:46:02 > 0:46:06and says, "Hey, maybe that's why I've been feeling so warm recently?"
0:46:08 > 0:46:12'George Clooney and Brad Pitt and Matt Damon...'
0:46:12 > 0:46:13and moi.
0:46:13 > 0:46:14Would you agree?
0:46:14 > 0:46:17In Ocean's 12, Robbie plays Matsui,
0:46:17 > 0:46:20a shadowy eastern European criminal mastermind,
0:46:20 > 0:46:23an intellectual who likes to talk in enigmatic sentences
0:46:23 > 0:46:26to confuse and alienate.
0:46:26 > 0:46:28When I was four years old,
0:46:28 > 0:46:31I watched my mother kill a spider with a tea cosy.
0:46:35 > 0:46:38'Matt Damon's character is trying to move himself into the hierarchy,
0:46:38 > 0:46:40'so supposedly, they're having'
0:46:40 > 0:46:44a test of sorts to decide whether or not he's up for the job.
0:46:44 > 0:46:49Years later, I realised it was not a spider, it was my Uncle Harold.
0:46:49 > 0:46:52But while director Steven Soderbergh had worked out
0:46:52 > 0:46:54what the dialogue would be,
0:46:54 > 0:46:57no-one was quite sure how the scene should play out.
0:46:57 > 0:47:00Soderbergh's sitting there, saying, "What do you think, Rob?"
0:47:00 > 0:47:03So I said, "Right, have you ever been to a poetry reading?"
0:47:03 > 0:47:07"And people look at each other and go... 'Mm. Mm.'
0:47:07 > 0:47:11"Like, 'We're all in the know, we understand.' Go for that."
0:47:11 > 0:47:14Way out of his depth, Matt Damon's character
0:47:14 > 0:47:17is reduced to reciting lyrics from a Led Zeppelin song,
0:47:17 > 0:47:21trying to convince Matsui he is an intellectual equal.
0:47:21 > 0:47:25Oh, let the sun beat down upon my face
0:47:25 > 0:47:28Stars sent to fill my dreams
0:47:28 > 0:47:32I am a traveller in both time and space
0:47:32 > 0:47:34To be where I have been.
0:47:35 > 0:47:37'So, that's the way we played it.'
0:47:37 > 0:47:39I think it worked, actually.
0:47:42 > 0:47:44While Hollywood had provided Coltrane
0:47:44 > 0:47:47with some of his most prestigious roles to date,
0:47:47 > 0:47:49it was a job closer to home
0:47:49 > 0:47:52which would take Robbie's career onto a different plane together.
0:47:52 > 0:47:54TYRES SCREECH
0:47:55 > 0:48:00Professor Dumbledore, sir. Professor McGonagall.
0:48:00 > 0:48:02I was asked by the producer of the Potter films,
0:48:02 > 0:48:04before they ever shot a reel,
0:48:04 > 0:48:06"If you could have anyone, who would you have?"
0:48:06 > 0:48:08Try not to wake him.
0:48:08 > 0:48:10And I said, "Robbie Coltrane - Hagrid."
0:48:10 > 0:48:12There you go.
0:48:12 > 0:48:15'My children, who were about eight and five,'
0:48:15 > 0:48:17in this very room came clattering in and went,
0:48:17 > 0:48:21"Daddy, Daddy, Daddy, you're going to play Hagrid, how fantastic!"
0:48:21 > 0:48:24HE SOBS AND SNIFFLES
0:48:25 > 0:48:30There, there, Hagrid, it's not really goodbye after all.
0:48:30 > 0:48:32It certainly was a career change for him,
0:48:32 > 0:48:38someone who had made his name being gruff and tough and angry
0:48:38 > 0:48:41and laden with problems in a lot of those,
0:48:41 > 0:48:43you know, TV shows and movies.
0:48:43 > 0:48:48Now, here he was, cuddly fantasy figure in a kids' movie.
0:48:48 > 0:48:52He's extremely good at menace and darkness.
0:48:52 > 0:48:54Oh, there's something else as well.
0:48:54 > 0:48:56'And then, he plays Hagrid.'
0:48:56 > 0:48:59Professor Dumbledore gave me this.
0:48:59 > 0:49:01I got her number and I phoned her up and I said,
0:49:01 > 0:49:04"OK, Hagrid, what do you know about Hagrid?"
0:49:04 > 0:49:07You know, the most stupid question you could imagine.
0:49:07 > 0:49:11I shouldn't have said that. I SHOULD NOT have said that.
0:49:11 > 0:49:15And then she started talking about a character that he was based on.
0:49:15 > 0:49:18It was a guy used to turn up in her pub in the West Country
0:49:18 > 0:49:19on a huge Harley Davidson...
0:49:19 > 0:49:22DOOR CRASHES
0:49:22 > 0:49:24THEY SCREAM
0:49:24 > 0:49:27..and he looked absolutely terrifying.
0:49:31 > 0:49:34He'd walk to the bar and order a pint and sit down...
0:49:36 > 0:49:39..and then talk about how his petunias were getting on.
0:49:39 > 0:49:41Sorry about that.
0:49:42 > 0:49:45I told Robbie the first time I ever spoke to him about Hagrid
0:49:45 > 0:49:48exactly what the inspiration for Hagrid was,
0:49:48 > 0:49:50and it was twofold, really.
0:49:50 > 0:49:54There's this folkloric idea of the man of the words, the wild man
0:49:54 > 0:49:56and obviously, Hagrid is that.
0:49:56 > 0:49:59Dry up, Dursley, you great prune!
0:50:01 > 0:50:05And then, on a more prosaic level, where I grew up in Chepstow, every six months or so
0:50:05 > 0:50:07the Hell's Angels used to steam into town
0:50:07 > 0:50:10and I can remember being 19 and being in a pub
0:50:10 > 0:50:12and getting chatting to one of these Hell's Angels,
0:50:12 > 0:50:14and he looked like the scariest guy on earth,
0:50:14 > 0:50:17and all he wanted to talk to me about was his cabbages.
0:50:17 > 0:50:21I thought, "I know that guy, I know that guy, I AM that guy."
0:50:21 > 0:50:25And she said, "I know that, that's why you're playing Hagrid."
0:50:25 > 0:50:26Who are you?
0:50:26 > 0:50:31Rubeus Hagrid, keeper of keys and grounds at Hogwarts.
0:50:31 > 0:50:34There's a really special relationship between Harry and Hagrid
0:50:34 > 0:50:37and there's a great relationship between Robbie and Dan.
0:50:37 > 0:50:38You're a wizard, Harry.
0:50:40 > 0:50:43- I'm a what?- A wizard.
0:50:43 > 0:50:46Daniel in particular would always say, "What do you think? What do you think?"
0:50:46 > 0:50:49I...can't be a...a wizard.
0:50:49 > 0:50:51'I said, "Look, do the brave thing.
0:50:51 > 0:50:55"Even if you think it might be over the top or a bit wrong,
0:50:55 > 0:50:59"just do it and they will cut it out.
0:50:59 > 0:51:03"Do as many takes as you like, just don't be afraid." And he went, "OK."
0:51:03 > 0:51:08You're Harry Potter! I'm Hermione Granger. And you are?
0:51:08 > 0:51:11- Um, Ron Weasley.- Pleasure(!)
0:51:11 > 0:51:14He's such a great person to be on set with,
0:51:14 > 0:51:18just constantly telling you stories and doing these voices
0:51:18 > 0:51:22and characters and it was just like having a comedian on set.
0:51:22 > 0:51:24- Who told you about Fluffy?- Fluffy?
0:51:24 > 0:51:26'I think he really kind of made'
0:51:26 > 0:51:29the character a lot funnier than it was, probably, in the book.
0:51:29 > 0:51:31Hello, Norbert.
0:51:31 > 0:51:34- Norbert?- Yeah, well, he's got to have a name, doesn't he?
0:51:36 > 0:51:39Look at you, Norbert, eh? Tickle, tickle!
0:51:39 > 0:51:41DRAGON HICCUPS Ooh!
0:51:41 > 0:51:43'For the people watching that movie,'
0:51:43 > 0:51:45it's the most important thing they've ever seen.
0:51:45 > 0:51:49I mean, they are utterly invested in these characters
0:51:49 > 0:51:50and you can't treat it as,
0:51:50 > 0:51:54"Oh, yeah, I'm dressing up, putting on a big wig
0:51:54 > 0:51:57"and having a bit of a laugh in a kids' fairytale,"
0:51:57 > 0:51:59you have to really take it seriously.
0:51:59 > 0:52:03He is a trained and experienced actor
0:52:03 > 0:52:06and that's why I think he gets that role right.
0:52:06 > 0:52:08Thanks, Hagrid.
0:52:08 > 0:52:11'Anyone who's a parent knows what it's like to watch'
0:52:11 > 0:52:15Chitty Chitty Bang Bang and Mary Poppins 28 times.
0:52:16 > 0:52:18'Wouldn't it be lovely to be involved in something
0:52:18 > 0:52:23'that so engaged children that they wanted to watch it 28 times?'
0:52:23 > 0:52:24So, Harry Potter would be that for me.
0:52:27 > 0:52:30Nobody could have done Hagrid better than Robbie.
0:52:33 > 0:52:35The Harry Potter films are
0:52:35 > 0:52:38the most successful movie franchise of all time
0:52:38 > 0:52:41and they made Robbie's face, albeit with a wig and beard,
0:52:41 > 0:52:44recognisable throughout the world.
0:52:51 > 0:52:55With an OBE and dozens of Hollywood movies to his name,
0:52:55 > 0:52:58Robbie more recently has returned to the small screen
0:52:58 > 0:53:01and his first love - comedy.
0:53:03 > 0:53:07He appeared as a Scottish Nationalist on the recent remake
0:53:07 > 0:53:11of Yes, Prime Minister - a role he feels privileged to have played.
0:53:11 > 0:53:13It was just fantastic to do that
0:53:13 > 0:53:15because it was so beautifully written.
0:53:15 > 0:53:20It's like another OBE - another OBE, do you get that?
0:53:20 > 0:53:21ALARM BELL RINGS
0:53:21 > 0:53:24He also starred as a violently disturbed prisoner,
0:53:24 > 0:53:28kidnapping Jack Dee in his sitcom, Lead Balloon.
0:53:30 > 0:53:33Hey, you! Anybody so much as touches this door without my say-so,
0:53:33 > 0:53:36laughing boy gets it, right?
0:53:38 > 0:53:41- Apologies for raising my voice. - It's not a problem.
0:53:41 > 0:53:44I mean, ideally we shouldn't really have to do any of this nonsense
0:53:44 > 0:53:48but, you know, it seems to be the only way you get any attention to your demands in this place.
0:53:49 > 0:53:52He's still an active member of the Comic Strip.
0:53:52 > 0:53:56When they returned in 2011 with The Hunt For Tony Blair,
0:53:56 > 0:53:59Robbie was thrilled to be part of the gang once again.
0:54:00 > 0:54:02More recently, in 2012,
0:54:02 > 0:54:06the original Comic Strip cast from Five Go Mad In Dorset
0:54:06 > 0:54:09reunited for their 30th anniversary with an update -
0:54:09 > 0:54:13Five Go Mad In Rehab.
0:54:13 > 0:54:15Here you are, here's your slap-up birthday cake -
0:54:15 > 0:54:20Stuffed with cherries, vanilla sponge and home-grown marzipan,
0:54:20 > 0:54:23hand-picked from our very own marzipan tree.
0:54:23 > 0:54:28- Hurrah!- Ooh! Well, what a wonderful get-together after 30 years.
0:54:28 > 0:54:30'30 years later to where we started -'
0:54:30 > 0:54:33it was hilarious!
0:54:33 > 0:54:37We're all sitting there and I'm in drag, and Nigel's in drag...
0:54:39 > 0:54:42'He'd not read the script, I'd not read the script.'
0:54:42 > 0:54:45I just sat and said, "Are you in a frock, Nigel?"
0:54:45 > 0:54:48He says, "Yes, I am. Are you in a frock?"
0:54:48 > 0:54:49I said, "Yeah, why?
0:54:49 > 0:54:52"Well, apparently I'm playing a rather homophobic woman who
0:54:52 > 0:54:54"runs a boarding house in Devon."
0:54:54 > 0:54:58And he went, "Yeah, well, apparently I'm playing a..."
0:54:58 > 0:55:00Women who think they know best,
0:55:00 > 0:55:03if you catch my homophobic way of thinking?
0:55:03 > 0:55:06And the girls turned up, of course, and went,
0:55:06 > 0:55:07"Don't you look lovely, BOYS?"
0:55:09 > 0:55:13'The fun with Five Go To Rehab was to see how these'
0:55:13 > 0:55:19iconic kids' characters had fared through the '80s and '90s.
0:55:19 > 0:55:21Not very well!
0:55:22 > 0:55:27'Comic Strip always had its own inner core of naughtiness'
0:55:27 > 0:55:29and undermining-ness
0:55:29 > 0:55:32and the whole idea of them going back to rehab, of course,
0:55:32 > 0:55:34is just hilarious.
0:55:34 > 0:55:35CRASH
0:55:35 > 0:55:39- Yeah?- Well, they've got everything, what do you want?
0:55:39 > 0:55:42- I just want my gin back.- Good.
0:55:45 > 0:55:49- Lovely to see you.- Yes, you too.
0:55:49 > 0:55:50'They're trying to pretend'
0:55:50 > 0:55:52that they're still the people they were,
0:55:52 > 0:55:55but of course the cracks are showing all the way through the film,
0:55:55 > 0:55:57until they finally fall apart.
0:55:57 > 0:56:01Don't be silly, Dick, they're alcoholics, they need a drink.
0:56:01 > 0:56:04Well, we've all got our problems, Anne. I mean, you're a vegan.
0:56:04 > 0:56:06'They're also lying to each other, going,'
0:56:06 > 0:56:09"I'm just going down for a walk. Are you going for a walk?"
0:56:09 > 0:56:11"Yes, I am."
0:56:11 > 0:56:12Where's Joe?
0:56:12 > 0:56:14'Very, very naughty,'
0:56:14 > 0:56:16but just the way it should be.
0:56:17 > 0:56:22I don't believe it! You can't be the same gypsy we saw here 30 years ago.
0:56:22 > 0:56:27Oh, yeah, still got no water, no electricity,
0:56:27 > 0:56:32still staring up at that old ruin, with its secrets and signs
0:56:32 > 0:56:36and gratuitous unexplained screams in the night.
0:56:36 > 0:56:38He moves from paper-thin characters
0:56:38 > 0:56:41that are very, very amusing caricatures
0:56:41 > 0:56:46right through into incredibly nuanced performances like Cracker,
0:56:46 > 0:56:48and he just doesn't seem to break a sweat.
0:56:48 > 0:56:50Look at me.
0:56:50 > 0:56:55There is a fire inside and that comes through in his work
0:56:55 > 0:56:56and he's electrifying.
0:56:58 > 0:57:02He is a comedy actor and an artist and larger than life character.
0:57:04 > 0:57:07I think he went into those things that he went into
0:57:07 > 0:57:09because he was good at it.
0:57:09 > 0:57:13I don't care what you say I just want to beat you to a pulp.
0:57:13 > 0:57:15A very talented man.
0:57:15 > 0:57:18And then he just went into Harry Potter and got lost really, bless him.
0:57:18 > 0:57:20Codswallop!
0:57:22 > 0:57:24He was one of us, really,
0:57:24 > 0:57:28always up for a practical joke or just to mess about.
0:57:28 > 0:57:29He was just great for that.
0:57:29 > 0:57:32Ruthless people, they got what they deserved.
0:57:32 > 0:57:35Actually, he's reached a position where he can do documentaries,
0:57:35 > 0:57:37where he can do travelogues.
0:57:37 > 0:57:39More of a threat than a promise, perhaps.
0:57:39 > 0:57:42He won't be presenting Gardeners' World or anything,
0:57:42 > 0:57:45although I'd pay good money to see Robbie present Gardeners' World.
0:57:45 > 0:57:48God, the embarrassment!
0:57:48 > 0:57:50He's not either square or around.
0:57:50 > 0:57:53So you're judge, the jury, the executioner too?
0:57:53 > 0:57:56If you find the right shape on the board, you can fit him in.
0:57:56 > 0:57:58He's got an infinite number of faces.
0:57:58 > 0:58:00Bye!
0:58:00 > 0:58:02People who've done well in our business always say
0:58:02 > 0:58:04they're incredibly talented
0:58:04 > 0:58:06and people who haven't done well always say
0:58:06 > 0:58:10they're incredibly unlucky, and I...
0:58:10 > 0:58:13I don't know what you say to that.
0:58:13 > 0:58:16Hey, Not The Nine O'clock News, ho-ho!
0:58:16 > 0:58:20I've been very lucky and I've been incredibly talented(!)
0:58:20 > 0:58:22No, I'm kidding, I'm kidding!
0:58:22 > 0:58:25Good night, and sock it to me.
0:58:25 > 0:58:28Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd