Couples Money


Couples

Documentary series exploring attitudes to money. Couples from around the country - young and old, rich and poor - reveal the role money plays in their relationships.


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Transcript


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-How often do you have arguments about money?

-Hmmm!

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Too often for my liking.

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I've broken the bank to buy things for her,

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but that's because, you know, she's special.

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It's not one of my skills, really. I don't think I'd ever be good with money.

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# It takes two, baby

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# It takes two, baby

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# Me and you

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# Just take two

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# It takes two, baby

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# It takes two, baby

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# To make a dream come true

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# Just take two. #

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In households across the country,

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money causes more arguments than anything else.

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Whether you're rich or poor, young or old, a spender or a saver,

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money affects your relationship with your partner on a daily basis.

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So, how do couples negotiate this perilous territory,

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and what is the recipe for financial harmony?

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What is it, love?

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BABY CRIES

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Vicky is 26, and lives at home with her parents.

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She and her fiance, Jonathan, are both doctors.

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They've been going out for three years and are making careful plans for married life.

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We've talked a lot about the financial aspects of how we're going to manage together,

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both because we are the kind of people that worry about stuff

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a long time in advance and would love to spend a good Sunday afternoon dissecting it,

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but also because we went to a marriage prep course,

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and they put much more uncomfortable situations in front of us

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than just how are you going to deal financially.

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They went quite carefully through a series of domestic chores

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and roles in the house, and said "Who did this - your mum or your dad?"

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So, who was the saver, who was the spender?

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Who cleans the loo? Who does the cooking?

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Who does the family shopping? Who plans the holidays?

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Who runs the social aspect of your family?

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All that kind of stuff, and then got you to compare

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the templates of your backgrounds, and therefore what expectations

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you have for how your roles will play out in your own marriage.

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I was kind of amazed at how many people really hadn't talked

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about this before they'd got to really quite close to their wedding.

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-And you and Jonathan had talked about those things?

-We'd talked about a lot of it, yeah.

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Both our families have a great deal of shared values,

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I think they're a similar class, and we are, kind of, singing

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from the same song sheet, in terms of what we want to do

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and achieve, and that's probably why Vicky and I get on so well.

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# I love you because you understand, dear

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# Every little thing I try to do

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# You're always there to lend a helping hand, dear

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# But most of all, I love you, cos you're you. #

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Natalie and David live in Nantwich, in Cheshire.

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They've been together eight years, and have two small boys, James and Harry.

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# I love you for the way you never doubt me

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# But most of all, I love you cos you're you. #

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How did the two of you meet, and when was that?

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That would have been 2000...

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Yeah, all right! Beginning of 2003.

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We met in Birkbeck Bar,

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which is the students' union bar of Birkbeck College, in London.

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And tell me what happened next.

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-Erm.

-Well, we accidentally fell pregnant with James.

-We? I didn't!

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-Well, you know, you were there!

-Yes.

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-So, how long after you first met was that?

-About six weeks!

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We decided that we would stay together and give it a go,

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basically, and so we moved in together shortly after,

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and then, about five months into my pregnancy, we got married,

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and then James came the following February, so yeah.

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-All a bit quick, really, but...

-It was, yeah.

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By the time we'd been together a year, we were married

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and had had James, you know, so it was very, very quick.

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-What is Dave like with money?

-Tight.

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Worried, paranoid, anxious. Terrible, drives me nuts.

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-What do you want me to do?

-Get one of his arms out!

-His arm? OK.

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I'll want to take the boys out, you know, to Alton Towers,

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or wherever, you know, or Chester Zoo, and spend money on them,

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but you kind of rein me in, and, you know.

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Even if sometimes, I'll say "Let's go out today, and we'll do this,

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and we'll go here, and we'll take the boys to Lego City at the

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Trafford Centre, or something", and Dave'll say "Oh, hang on a

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minute", and then there'll be such a kind of disagreement between us,

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that even if I get my way, even if we go, the whole day is spoilt

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because I know Dave is pulling his face over every single penny spent.

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If the money's there, fine. If it isn't, hang back a bit.

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Any fun is banned in this house!

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Thank you(!) I did not say...

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Fun is banned! There will be no days out for you children.

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Eat porridge, nothing else.

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GOSPEL CHOIR SINGS

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Dominic and his wife, Irene, live in Aldershot, in Surrey.

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Dominic is a pensions adviser,

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and Irene works for the Air Accident Investigations Branch.

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They both earn roughly the same amount of money.

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-Where did you both grow up?

-We both grew up in Ghana.

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But, I mean, we've done a lot of, you know, growing up here in

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the UK as well, and that's sometimes the difficult thing,

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trying to balance our Ghanaian cultures

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with the British cultures as well.

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We grew up in the Catholic belief, but also in a traditional Ghanaian belief,

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what a man should and shouldn't do, what a woman should do and shouldn't do,

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the responsibilities that a man should have, and things like that.

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Father. May your name be held holy.

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Your kingdom come.

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Give us each day our daily bread, and forgive us our sins.

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Irene, is Dominic good with money?

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Yes, I think he is, because...

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I think we work hard to be...

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We balance out, because I'm the type who just...

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I like to be comfortable, very comfortable, and I don't mind

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spending my last penny to be comfortable, but he's the one who,

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you know, he's quite disciplined, and he thinks before spending.

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I think we've just drawn each other to the middle, if you like,

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because he was quite... I don't want to use the word stingy,

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-but he was extremely...

-Officially Mr Scrooge!

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Yeah!

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He was extremely disciplined with money,

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to the extent that you work

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and don't enjoy what comes in.

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Were you ever in trouble with money? Did you ever overspend?

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-Yeah, I used to overspend.

-Did you have debt when you met Dominic?

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Yes, I did, which is now paid off,

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because I think I'm a lot more disciplined now.

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He's the one in debt now!

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-Yeah.

-Is that true?

-Yep!

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Not so much in debt, but yeah.

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I bought a car, so... A BMW.

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I was trying to impress her, you know!

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# I got my mind set on you

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# I got my mind set on you

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# I got my mind set on you

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# I got my mind set on you

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# But it's going to take money

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# A whole lot of spending money

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# It's going to take plenty of money

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# To do it, to do it

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# To do it, to do it

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# To do it, to do it. #

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My downfall, or my shortfall is that I like to do things

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that put a smile on Irene's face.

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I've broken the bank to buy things for her,

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but that's because, you know, she's special, and I want her to

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feel special, and I want that smile on her face when I get it to her.

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-Do you buy presents for Dominic in the same way?

-I do, yeah.

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He's always complaining. You buy him presents and he's like, "That's too much money!"

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So, when you buy Irene a lovely present, then it's smiles all round,

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but when she buys you a present, you worry about the money!

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He does, absolutely, yeah.

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I'm not very good with accepting presents, no.

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-Do you think you like being treated like a princess?

-Yes, it's nice.

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Not all the time, I treat him like a prince sometimes,

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so it's both ways, not just one way all the time.

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Not all the time, but most of the time.

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-Yeah, but it's nice to be treated like that.

-It's not just nice.

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I think you love it, you know, you love...

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and you deserve it, but you'd love it.

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-Yeah, it's nice, yeah.

-Do you expect it?

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-Do you expect him to treat you like that?

-Sometimes, sometimes, yeah.

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I like to be, you know, probably sounding more Ghanaian than

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British, but I like to be the man, I like to feel in charge,

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and I think, some of the times, I've gone out of my way to pay for things, because I'm the man.

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-What do you think?

-Yeah.

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You've made me pay for things, because you think I'm the man, or you say I'm the man!

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Yeah. I like to have him, for example,

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paying for things, because he is the man.

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Yeah, I think, partly it's because of our upbringing, really.

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The men are usually in charge, if you like.

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Even if it's my money we're using to pay,

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I don't mind giving it to him and saying, "Give it to the person,

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"so it looks like you're paying for it", so, yeah.

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Matt and Nicola have recently got married.

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They live in Chesterfield, in Derbyshire.

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-Nicola, how old are you?

-20.

-And Matt, how old are you?

-24.

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25th of the ninth, 1986.

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Let's see your tattoos, Nicola.

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-Matt's name.

-And when did you get Matt's name done?

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About two month after we'd been together!

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We met on a two-week course at the Phoenix.

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-It was a job seekers course?

-Yeah.

-Yeah.

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And when we first met, I just loved looking at her, I did.

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-When we kissed for the first time...

-Took us two weeks to even kiss.

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Or touch each other, hold hands or owt,

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and then when we did kiss, my heart were pounding,

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and you could tell, because what did you say to your mate when you come back in?

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Felt really nice. Got a really nice feeling.

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-And you're married.

-Yep.

-Yep.

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-How long ago did you get married?

-Three month ago.

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I were 15 when I left school. I did my GCSEs, but I didn't get very good grades.

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And how about you, Matt?

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I was kicked out at age 15, and I didn't leave with nowt,

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and then I went to college to finish my school year off,

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but I didn't get nowt out of that as well.

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And then, that's it, I lived in hostels after that.

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-So you left home after you left school?

-Yeah.

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So since you left school, Nicola, what jobs have you had?

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I worked at McDonald's, worked at Thorntons, did telesales.

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-And what happened to your job at McDonald's?

-I got the sack.

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-Why were you sacked?

-Swearing.

-For swearing? Who did you swear at?

-The boss.

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And then you worked in Thorntons, the chocolate shop, and how long did you work there?

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Not for long, because it were only temporary, throughout Christmas, and I got it near Christmas.

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I were only there about three week, I think, something like that.

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And then you did telesales for a bit. Did you like that?

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No, not really, but I did it. I just wanted a job.

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-And what happened to that job?

-I got laid off. Only temporary, so...

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-And so, when did you last have a job?

-About two year ago.

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So, Matt, tell me about jobs you've had since you left school.

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One.

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Working in bar work, and that were about two year ago, so if I add

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up all the time we've been signing on, it would be about six year.

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Six years altogether.

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-You're both on benefits now. What benefits are you on?

-Jobseeker's allowance.

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-OK. And you too, Nicola?

-Yep.

-And how much do you get?

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-It varies, don't it?

-Yeah.

-Between 185 to 200 a fortnight.

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-So it's about 100 quid a week, or a bit less.

-Yeah.

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So you pay your bills, and then how much is left in your hand?

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-It varies from 40 to 60, don't it?

-Yeah.

-A fortnight?

-Yeah.

-Yeah.

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Save yourself a fortune this week, you don't need to spend one.

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-What can you buy for that?

-Bought cheap stuff.

-What kind of things?

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Cheap gammon, bacon, spaghetti bolognese, cheap meat.

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That's all, we've just kept buying cheap meat, frozen stuff,

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I got a packet of frozen veg for 36p.

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Just buy stuff like that, what's reet cheap.

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And so some stuff don't taste nice, does it, but...

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-So I cook, you wash, don't you?

-I wash the pots, after he's done.

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-And Nicola, is Matt a good cook?

-Yeah. Not bad!

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You like my spaghetti bolognese, don't you?

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-Do you want your sweets?

-Yeah.

-Which ones do you want?

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Because I'm cooking, I'm always thinking about the meals

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and what we can get, but she don't, she goes "Oh, let's get some

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"crisps, let's get some chocolate, let's go and get some sweets!"

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It does bring you down, you're in a vicious circle,

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because you only get this amount of money, and you spend it

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on what you can, and even if you waste it, you're, like, "Damn".

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"Got to wait two week, now."

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Cheers.

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# All I really want is money in my pocket

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# Cash in my hand, oh, skrilla in my wallet

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# All I really want is money in my pocket

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# Cash in my hand, yeah, skrilla in my wallet, yeah. #

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My grandfather started an East India company,

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and they had a lot of furniture from India,

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and you can see that rather elaborate cupboard, there.

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I had an aunt who was quite a famous painter.

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She painted my mother, which is up there,

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and funnily enough, Mother is wearing an Indian shawl,

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which my grandfather got from somewhere, and as you can see,

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she's sitting on an Indian stool, and I can show you the Indian

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stool in the dining room, which the cat's sitting on.

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First of all, let me ask you both how old you are.

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-Chantal?

-I'm 71.

-And I'm 77. No, I'm not, I'm 78, I'm sorry!

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We've been together 48 years this year. 48 years in October.

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-How old were you when you married Eddie?

-23.

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-And then, how old were you when you had your first child?

-24.

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-And then, you had how many children altogether?

-Four altogether.

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Would you have wanted a job, do you think?

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Well, what you've never had you don't miss.

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Chantal and Eddie live in the Home Counties.

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Eddie has had a long and distinguished career in finance,

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and aged 78, he's still working.

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How much is your annual income now?

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Oh, it's not very large.

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In total it's probably about, what, 120,000, something like that.

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How much is this house worth, roughly?

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Well, it's difficult to say.

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-At the moment.

-At the moment.

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My guess is somewhere between 1.5 and two million.

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Without sounding pompous or arrogant, one is very grateful for what one's got.

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-Do the two of you have a joint account?

-No.

-Why not?

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Why not? I don't agree with a joint account.

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I honestly don't want to know what Chantal spends.

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-Well, you do know, sometimes, because I tell you!

-Yes.

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No, I think it's much better to be independent.

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-You've supported Chantal all this time.

-Yes.

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So when you say it's important for her to be independent, what does that mean?

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Well, it means I give her a certain amount,

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and I've always given her a certain amount of money per month,

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and, also, I have passed on a certain amount of capital to her.

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How much money goes into Chantal's account every month?

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-About eight...

-£900.

-£900.

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And what's that nominally for, that money?

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Well, food.

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You know, I think it's important to eat nice things, to eat well,

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I'm a keen cook. Most of my clothes, the odd present.

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If there were expenses in a particular month that meant

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that you were spending more than your 900, I don't know, if all

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the grandchildren had birthdays, and you went out and bought all

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their birthday presents, and there was no money left, what happens then?

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Well, if I spend money which is outside the routine,

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if you go through my bank statements it's always Sainsbury's, Waitrose,

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then if it's a present, if it's Christmas, I present him with a bill of the extra money I spent.

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-So then, Eddie, you then reimburse Chantal, do you?

-Yes, yes.

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But is there anything that either of you spend money on that you wouldn't tell the other person?

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Well, I don't think Eddie cares what I spend on the hairdresser,

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or that sort of thing, no, but there's nothing I would keep secret.

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-And what about you, Eddie?

-No, I never discuss what I spend.

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I don't have to know everything that Eddie spends, it's none of my business.

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It is a traditional setup. It's a lack of autonomy, in a way.

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I'm perfectly comfortable on relying on his expertise and intelligence,

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and I know that he will do the best for the two of us.

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Our daily life is fairly harmonious.

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I think people tend to argue if they're on top of each other,

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but we live fairly separate lives.

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-We have space.

-We've got space and got our own interests,

0:21:470:21:51

and I've still got quite a lot of work.

0:21:510:21:53

MUSIC: "For The Love Of Money" by The O'Jays

0:21:540:21:57

# Some people got to have it

0:22:070:22:11

# Some people really need it

0:22:120:22:16

# You want to do things, do things

0:22:160:22:18

# Do things, good things with it, yeah... #

0:22:180:22:23

Nick and Keith live in Sheffield, and have been together for three years.

0:22:260:22:30

Keith, tell me what Nick is like with money.

0:22:320:22:36

Erm, Nick with money, erm... Frivolous, I would think. Yeah.

0:22:360:22:41

Yeah, he has money, he spends money, he buys things,

0:22:430:22:47

gadgety things, things to me that, probably, he never uses.

0:22:470:22:53

Buys loads of clothes.

0:22:540:22:57

-How many T-shirts does he have?

-Oh, God, loads!

0:22:570:23:01

Well over, got to be over a hundred. Must be over a hundred.

0:23:010:23:04

-They've got a wardrobe full...

-Is that true? You've got more than 100 T-shirts?

0:23:040:23:07

-Yeah, it might be a bit more than 100.

-No, I don't think so.

-It can't be far off.

0:23:070:23:11

Nick, can you characterise for me what Keith is like with money?

0:23:120:23:16

Well, he's very, erm, paranoid about money.

0:23:180:23:23

He, sort of, gets...

0:23:230:23:28

It does go in fits and starts, but he sometimes gets very,

0:23:280:23:32

very antsy about not having enough money.

0:23:320:23:35

We have a joint account. We've got a joint current account,

0:23:350:23:38

and we've got a joint credit card that Keith manages.

0:23:380:23:42

He collects all the receipts and keeps them for a month,

0:23:440:23:47

and then when the credit card bill arrives, then he sits there

0:23:470:23:51

and ticks it all up, and I'm like, what are you doing?

0:23:510:23:54

And then he goes mental for, like, "What's this?

0:23:560:24:00

"Three pounds unaccounted for?"

0:24:000:24:04

And then he'll ask me, "Have you been to such and such a place and spent three quid?"

0:24:040:24:08

And I'm like, no. "You have!"

0:24:080:24:11

And, from there, it goes into a bit of a frenzy.

0:24:110:24:15

-I do all the shopping for food.

-Yeah.

0:24:160:24:18

-I don't think you ever go into a supermarket, do you?

-No.

0:24:180:24:22

And are you happy with the amount Nick spends on food?

0:24:220:24:25

-Erm, kind of yes and no.

-Liar!

0:24:250:24:28

If you were buying eggs, what kind of eggs would you buy, Nick?

0:24:290:24:32

I would buy free range, and you would buy the battery...

0:24:320:24:34

Eggs, to me, is just like eggs,

0:24:340:24:36

but I am a fish and chip and or a pie, chips and peas man.

0:24:360:24:41

So, does it annoy you, Keith,

0:24:440:24:46

that Nick comes back with free range eggs, when you know battery eggs are cheaper?

0:24:460:24:50

-Erm...

-Do you just think he's wasting money? Come on, be honest, Keith!

0:24:500:24:55

I'll be quite honest, I do look at receipts and think, really? You could have got that cheaper!

0:24:550:25:01

I spend quite a lot of money from my own account on food,

0:25:010:25:04

because then I can throw the receipt away, so he doesn't actually see it!

0:25:040:25:08

So you're secretly shopping for food that you know Keith would disallow, is that right?

0:25:080:25:12

-Not necessarily, but...

-Feels like that to me!

0:25:120:25:16

But then does Keith not say "Hang on a minute,

0:25:160:25:20

"there's a jar of oyster sauce here, and I haven't seen a receipt for it?"

0:25:200:25:23

Oh, yeah, he'll sometimes just open the freezer door to get something,

0:25:230:25:26

and he'll be like "What's all this?"

0:25:260:25:27

We've fought more about money than anything else.

0:25:290:25:34

Can you see yourself resolving your differences any more,

0:25:340:25:39

or do you think you've come as far as you can come, and you'll just carry on arguing?

0:25:390:25:43

I don't think they'll ever be resolved entirely.

0:25:430:25:46

The test of the resolve would be if I start managing the current account and credit card!

0:25:460:25:51

Could that ever happen?

0:25:510:25:53

That would not happen, I could not cope with that!

0:25:530:25:55

That would literally...

0:25:550:25:57

I couldn't cope with it, and that is true,

0:25:570:26:00

I could not cope with something like that.

0:26:000:26:03

I'd be panicking. I'd have sleepless nights, I'd be checking, I'd be pestering him,

0:26:030:26:07

"Show me the statements, show me this, show me that."

0:26:070:26:10

No, I could not tolerate that. I couldn't cope with it.

0:26:100:26:14

It's a way of thinking, and it's like we said earlier, if I went

0:26:140:26:18

to get a tenner out, or 20 quid out, I have to have a mini statement.

0:26:180:26:23

Some people might call it an OCD.

0:26:230:26:26

-I don't know, but...

-How often are you getting a mini statement?

0:26:280:26:31

Every day?

0:26:340:26:35

Is it really everyday, Keith?

0:26:360:26:38

Not on a Sunday!

0:26:410:26:42

-So, six days a week.

-Most days.

0:26:480:26:51

-The money is always there, so why would you do it?

-And what's the answer to that?

0:26:510:26:54

-I don't know.

-You just feel better when you've done it?

-Yeah. Yeah.

0:26:590:27:02

It's always right, so why...

0:27:020:27:05

-And you always know before you do it what it's going to say?

-Yeah.

0:27:050:27:08

My dad was a steelworker, my mum was a school dinnerlady, and money was tight.

0:27:140:27:19

So you've got the same attitude your parents had?

0:27:190:27:24

Erm, yeah. Yeah.

0:27:240:27:27

Presumably, though, you're much better off than your parents were.

0:27:270:27:29

Are you?

0:27:310:27:32

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, you know.

0:27:330:27:36

But you don't feel it, really?

0:27:360:27:38

I think that's true. I think that's very, very true.

0:27:380:27:41

Do you wish you weren't like this, Keith?

0:27:440:27:46

That's a good question, erm...

0:27:520:27:54

Yeah, yeah. I think it would be nice to be a bit more like Nick.

0:27:560:28:02

I'm getting better, I'm getting there!

0:28:030:28:06

If you'd like to pop the card in for me.

0:28:200:28:22

Dominic, Irene came back with some bags this morning.

0:28:250:28:28

Has she shown you what she bought?

0:28:280:28:30

She tried to, but I didn't want to know!

0:28:320:28:34

The prices and things are what really gets to me, sometimes.

0:28:340:28:39

-So, do you know how much she spent this morning?

-No.

0:28:390:28:42

-Would you like the receipt in the bag?

-Please.

0:28:420:28:44

-Are you going to tell him?

-No!

0:28:440:28:46

-She doesn't realise that I've got a way of finding out!

-How?

0:28:470:28:51

-Sometimes I have a look at either your bank statement or my bank statement!

-Really?

0:28:510:28:57

Or maybe you left the receipt. Normally, you leave the receipts in the bag.

0:28:570:29:01

-You're not allowed to look at my bank statement.

-Yeah, I am!

0:29:010:29:05

I look at your bank statement all the time anyway!

0:29:050:29:09

Did you not know that, Irene, that he's checking your bank statements?

0:29:090:29:12

Not behind my back.

0:29:120:29:13

And, Irene, do you know, day-to-day,

0:29:160:29:18

how much money Dominic's got in his account?

0:29:180:29:20

I don't, no.

0:29:200:29:22

He's got quite a few accounts, and I know he's...

0:29:220:29:26

Should I say?

0:29:260:29:29

THEY SPEAK A GHANAIAN LANGUAGE

0:29:310:29:34

Sorry about that.

0:29:420:29:43

She's questioning about my account now, it's all your fault!

0:29:450:29:49

One thing that she doesn't notice is that, sometimes, I try to,

0:29:490:29:53

you know, when I don't think, when she says "Oh, we should get this, we should get this"

0:29:530:29:57

and I don't think we should, sometimes I tell her "Oh, no, I'm a bit broke this month,

0:29:570:30:01

"so let's wait".

0:30:010:30:03

I shouldn't have said this, but that's one of the reasons why she says about your overdraft,

0:30:030:30:08

and things like that, because sometimes I make her think that, you know, we have to be careful.

0:30:080:30:13

-OK, so you pretended, you pretend.

-He does, I thought he was, yeah!

0:30:130:30:18

I think she'll be happier, whether buying a shirt or buying something for the house,

0:30:180:30:23

or financial security, I think she'll be happier in herself.

0:30:230:30:27

-So you're lying for her own good, is that right?

-Yes!

0:30:270:30:32

But it's not like a big lie,

0:30:320:30:35

-it's a lie for our own good.

-OK, for the mutual good.

-Yeah!

0:30:350:30:42

# It's not about the money, money, money

0:30:420:30:44

# We don't need your money, money, money

0:30:440:30:47

# We just want to make the world dance

0:30:470:30:49

# Forget about the price tag

0:30:490:30:52

# Ain't about the cha-ching, cha-ching

0:30:520:30:55

# Ain't about the ba-bling ba-bling

0:30:550:30:58

# Want to make the world dance

0:30:580:31:01

# Forget about the price tag. #

0:31:010:31:03

So, you built the toilet, did you, Aris?

0:31:070:31:09

I did, it's the first thing I've ever built, really.

0:31:090:31:12

-Did you build it on your own?

-I did. It's palatial, isn't it?

0:31:120:31:15

Well, you haven't been inside, have you? You haven't risked it.

0:31:150:31:18

No, I'm really hoping I'm not going to need it!

0:31:180:31:20

I love poo and I love compost, and Marianne loves growing things,

0:31:220:31:26

so I make the beds and the food for them and she grows stuff.

0:31:260:31:30

# Ain't about the cha-ching, cha-ching

0:31:310:31:34

# Ain't about the ba-bling, ba-bling

0:31:340:31:36

# Want to make the world dance

0:31:360:31:39

# Forget about the price tag

0:31:390:31:43

# Ahhhh

0:31:430:31:45

# Ahhhh

0:31:450:31:48

# Ahhhh

0:31:480:31:51

# Ahhhh... #

0:31:510:31:52

-Aris, where are you from?

-The womb. I miss it terribly. Terribly. I try to get back.

0:31:520:31:58

Aris, don't waste time now, it's going to take a long time already!

0:31:580:32:01

I came out of the womb in California,

0:32:010:32:04

and that's where I was born and raised, really.

0:32:040:32:07

COWS MOO

0:32:070:32:09

Aris and his wife, Marianne,

0:32:090:32:10

live in a caravan in an eco-community in Wales with their three children.

0:32:100:32:15

They've purchased a plot of land for £35,000,

0:32:170:32:21

and plan to spend another 35,000 building somewhere to live.

0:32:210:32:25

-Where's the 70,000 coming from?

-My life savings.

0:32:270:32:32

How much were your life savings, Marianne?

0:32:320:32:34

-About 100,000.

-She doesn't know!

-Well, it changes!

0:32:350:32:39

Of course it changes, we keep spending it, you know!

0:32:390:32:42

Hey, look at this spider! Look at this one, look!

0:32:420:32:45

-Where did £100,000 come from?

-I've always been a saver.

0:32:450:32:49

I've always saved my money, had my piggy bank,

0:32:490:32:52

and I was always given money as a child.

0:32:520:32:54

In my family, there was, very much, this culture of the money has to come down, you know.

0:32:540:32:58

It's when you're young that you need the most. My grandmother always says when you're young,

0:32:580:33:02

you need the money, and once you're older, you're established,

0:33:020:33:05

and things are kind of up and running,

0:33:050:33:07

so I've definitely been supported financially by my family.

0:33:070:33:13

I did not have a family to give me money.

0:33:160:33:18

-My father used to borrow money.

-And you hadn't been taught how to save.

0:33:180:33:21

I had not been taught how to save, and I'm very much about experience.

0:33:210:33:24

As soon as I get enough money to go somewhere, experience something,

0:33:240:33:27

I will go somewhere and experience something.

0:33:270:33:29

Yeah, but let's not pretend I didn't have experiences, too.

0:33:290:33:31

It's not like I just sat at home, you know, fatly, on my fat cushion of money.

0:33:310:33:34

-No, no.

-No, I mean, you know.

-No, I'm not saying you did.

0:33:340:33:38

We're talking about me, now! But no one ever gave me money.

0:33:380:33:42

-OK, and we'll have courgette supper, OK?

-That's for me.

0:33:420:33:46

And do you know how much you're spending on food a week, roughly?

0:33:460:33:49

I'd probably say about £100 a week.

0:33:490:33:51

-Yeah.

-That sounds about right, but I don't actually know.

-Food's pricey!

0:33:530:33:57

Food is cheaper than it has ever been in the history of the marketplace.

0:33:570:34:00

-Food is a significant expense!

-It is!

0:34:000:34:04

People have never paid so little for food.

0:34:040:34:07

Food is a significant expense for us.

0:34:070:34:09

It is our second greatest expense.

0:34:090:34:11

It's true! It is!

0:34:110:34:13

Would you say the two of you have different attitudes to money?

0:34:180:34:21

I know what it is, but...

0:34:230:34:25

Yes, I would say we have different attitudes towards money.

0:34:250:34:28

-In what way?

-I like to have it, I like to keep track of it.

0:34:280:34:33

And, Marianne, what is Aris like with money?

0:34:330:34:36

When he's got it, he spends it.

0:34:360:34:37

When I've got it, I spend it.

0:34:410:34:42

-But when you've got it, you spend it as well.

-No, darling.

0:34:420:34:45

I've got all those savings, I didn't spend them.

0:34:450:34:47

-I guess the thing is I never have much, that's the thing, so...

-No, because you spend it.

0:34:470:34:52

-What have I bought, for example?

-I don't know, I don't know!

0:34:520:34:56

That tambourine.

0:34:560:34:57

-I did buy a tambourine!

-That was ridiculous!

0:34:570:35:00

That was when I was really into Samba drumming. It's a pandeiro, actually.

0:35:000:35:03

But I'm going to learn how to play it, one day!

0:35:070:35:10

Which of you has a healthier attitude to money, do you think?

0:35:120:35:14

I've got more.

0:35:170:35:19

That's simply stated! So I must be right!

0:35:200:35:24

Well, OK, you know, we've both been alive 38 years,

0:35:240:35:28

we've had different experiences, we've been given different amounts.

0:35:280:35:31

"I have more." How is your money separate from mine at all?

0:35:310:35:35

We've both worked, we've both lived our lives,

0:35:350:35:37

when we've reached this point, I have got more!

0:35:370:35:40

Why is it your money, and not the family's money,

0:35:410:35:45

or Aris's money, or everybody's money?

0:35:450:35:48

Good question.

0:35:480:35:49

I saved it.

0:35:500:35:51

-It was my work, saving that money!

-And well done!

0:35:530:35:57

Well done and thank you, really! Thank you. Well done.

0:35:570:36:01

# Wise men say

0:36:030:36:06

# Only fools rush in

0:36:100:36:14

# But I can't help

0:36:180:36:22

# Falling in love with you. #

0:36:230:36:29

All that I am, I give to you.

0:36:300:36:33

All that I am, I give to you.

0:36:330:36:34

And all that I have, I share with you.

0:36:340:36:37

And all that I have, I share with you.

0:36:370:36:39

For richer, for poorer.

0:36:390:36:40

For richer, for poorer.

0:36:400:36:42

In sickness, and in health.

0:36:420:36:44

In sickness, and in health.

0:36:440:36:45

To love and to cherish.

0:36:450:36:47

To love and to cherish.

0:36:470:36:49

Till death us do part.

0:36:490:36:50

Till death us do part.

0:36:500:36:53

# Falling in love with...

0:36:530:36:57

You may kiss the bride.

0:36:580:37:00

# ..You. #

0:37:000:37:02

APPLAUSE

0:37:020:37:06

Show me some of your wedding presents.

0:37:100:37:13

OK, we have our lovely, erm, coffee maker,

0:37:140:37:19

for our weekend coffee, which we relish, we had this morning, very nice.

0:37:190:37:24

Vicky, show me your favourite present.

0:37:260:37:29

Oh, my favourite present is from my uncle,

0:37:290:37:31

which is this momma, for the feeding of the 5000, and also,

0:37:330:37:38

if things get bad between us, this is my weapon of choice for hitting Jonathan over the head!

0:37:380:37:44

The toaster.

0:37:450:37:47

Oh yes, that was from one of the bridesmaids, who riffed on

0:37:470:37:51

the theme, and said that we were the best couple since sliced bread.

0:37:510:37:53

Very pleased with our, kind of, erm, clock,

0:37:550:37:59

which came with the message "We hope you have a very happy moo-riage,

0:37:590:38:03

"we are udderly delighted for you."

0:38:030:38:05

-There's just been some terrible punning!

-We've got some very droll friends.

0:38:070:38:10

-How did you pay for your honeymoon in Skegness?

-It was a wedding present.

0:38:140:38:18

-Was it? Who gave you that?

-My mum's best friend.

0:38:180:38:22

She said "Oh, I'll give you the caravan for the week."

0:38:230:38:26

I thought "All right, then! We'll take it!"

0:38:260:38:29

I'm not bothered where it is, as long as it's away from Chesterfield for a week, I'm not bothered!

0:38:290:38:34

And when we were down in Skegness we were happy, weren't we?

0:38:340:38:37

Most happiest week of our lives, because we weren't here,

0:38:370:38:41

but then on the last day, you're thinking "Oh, I've got to go back to it."

0:38:410:38:44

-What do you do most days? Are you often stuck at home?

-Yeah.

0:38:500:38:54

-And what do you do? Watch the telly?

-Yeah.

-Yeah.

0:38:540:38:58

-You watch the telly a lot?

-It's boring.

0:38:580:39:00

-You get bored?

-Yeah.

-And then you do Xbox, Matt, do you?

0:39:010:39:06

-I did, but not now. It eats electric, so...

-Does it?

0:39:060:39:10

So it was costing you too much in electricity?

0:39:100:39:13

Yeah, so I only go on it now and then, don't I? Only at night time.

0:39:130:39:18

When I'm asleep!

0:39:180:39:19

I'm already thinking now that my life sucks, and it does, because it's boring.

0:39:270:39:32

Sometimes I stay in bed until 11 or 12 o'clock, because what's the point in getting up?

0:39:340:39:39

And it's just ridiculous.

0:39:400:39:42

I have said to you, haven't I, that I'm getting sick of it?

0:39:420:39:45

All I say is "I'm sick of this life", so she thinks that I'm

0:39:450:39:48

sick of her, but it's not, it's just the situation that we're in.

0:39:480:39:52

I just hope that we'll get a job,

0:39:560:39:59

because I don't think that we can keep...

0:39:590:40:02

If we've got another five years of this, I don't we'll be together.

0:40:020:40:06

I'm hoping, as soon as she gets pregnant, I'm hoping to get a job then.

0:40:080:40:13

-What would life be like if you had a baby?

-Different.

0:40:160:40:20

Instead of us sitting about, lazing about, or not doing nothing,

0:40:200:40:25

with a kid, we'd be doing something, even if it's changing a nappy,

0:40:250:40:30

it's just breaking that horrible cycle that we're in.

0:40:300:40:32

It's just something new, something different.

0:40:320:40:34

And Nicola, how do you feel about the future?

0:40:340:40:37

You want to be a mum, but if the two of you don't get jobs,

0:40:370:40:42

do you think about that sometimes, what that will be like?

0:40:420:40:45

Sometimes.

0:40:450:40:47

And are you worried about that?

0:40:480:40:50

Yep.

0:40:530:40:54

Tell me what you think about that, when you think about the future.

0:40:550:40:58

I reckon we'll split up if we don't get a job.

0:40:580:41:00

You see each other every single day.

0:41:050:41:08

You eat, you live, you breathe, everything you do, you do together.

0:41:080:41:12

Because I see her all day, I can't wait to get away from her,

0:41:140:41:18

and I know it's horrible, but that's the way it is,

0:41:180:41:21

and I can't get away from her because we've got no money,

0:41:210:41:24

so it's either I've got to stick with it, or I leave.

0:41:240:41:28

-What do you think, Nicola?

-The same.

0:41:300:41:33

-But you'll still in love with each other at the moment.

-Yeah, at the moment.

0:41:340:41:38

-What qualifications or education do you have?

-GCSEs, and that's it.

0:42:000:42:05

-Erm, yep.

-And what about you, Dave?

0:42:080:42:10

OK, I stayed around in education for quite a while,

0:42:100:42:13

so I've got GCSEs, A-levels, I've got a Bachelor's in science, biochemistry,

0:42:130:42:19

I've got a Masters degree in structural biology,

0:42:190:42:22

and I've got a PhD, also in structural biology.

0:42:220:42:25

Natalie works in a lawyer's office, and Dave is a research scientist

0:42:280:42:32

at Manchester University doing biomedical research into arthritis.

0:42:320:42:37

Dave is the primary breadwinner, and earns £34,000 a year.

0:42:390:42:43

Dave's, kind of, really into his career,

0:42:470:42:49

and that's his pride and joy, in a kind of strange way.

0:42:490:42:53

I mean, it's not just a job to him. He is immersed in science.

0:42:530:42:58

His birthday is actually in a couple of weeks,

0:42:580:43:00

but his mum has bought him a ticket to a science conference

0:43:000:43:05

in Manchester for two days, and he goes on marches...

0:43:050:43:11

I would have done.

0:43:110:43:12

Well, you would have gone on this march recently,

0:43:120:43:14

but you have done that before, gone on marches and things like that.

0:43:140:43:18

-That was against the Iraq war.

-The war?

0:43:180:43:21

-Yeah, that's not really sciencey!

-Yeah, but it's a nerd thing to do.

0:43:210:43:25

Not really! It's an activist thing.

0:43:250:43:27

Dave's got a career, and he's worked really hard for it,

0:43:290:43:32

but, you know, his career is a means to an end, that's it,

0:43:320:43:37

that's what he's there for, the love of the job, the career.

0:43:370:43:40

-The money is incidental to that, really.

-It's quite helpful, though!

0:43:400:43:43

Yeah, it is quite helpful, but I mean, you know,

0:43:430:43:47

it is what it is, isn't it?

0:43:470:43:51

You wouldn't change career for the money.

0:43:510:43:54

-You wouldn't want to not work in science.

-No, you're right.

0:43:540:43:57

-Natalie obviously experiences a shortage of money, in this situation.

-Yes.

0:43:580:44:02

-Is there a shortage of money, from your perspective?

-Yes, absolutely. Yes.

0:44:020:44:05

-Natalie, do you think Dave should retrain?

-Yeah, I do, yeah.

0:44:060:44:09

What do you think he should retrain as?

0:44:090:44:11

I don't know, an accountant or something, or a lawyer.

0:44:110:44:13

With his qualifications, it wouldn't take very much time.

0:44:130:44:17

I've worked with lawyers for 16 years, and I know how much

0:44:170:44:19

they can earn, and let's say it's treble the amount that Dave earns now.

0:44:190:44:24

I look at the boys and think "Why should they suffer so you can enjoy your job?"

0:44:260:44:30

They don't suffer!

0:44:300:44:32

I want them to go to the private school and give them

0:44:320:44:34

the best start that I can, but how can I do that on your salary?

0:44:340:44:38

I know.

0:44:380:44:39

I'm not denying that it's a problem.

0:44:410:44:44

And I think that the family has to come first,

0:44:440:44:46

and personal occupation preferences have to be put aside.

0:44:460:44:51

If I had to go and be a toilet cleaner for the money,

0:44:510:44:54

I would go and be a toilet cleaner for the money, you know,

0:44:540:44:57

and hate every minute of it, but that's what you do,

0:44:570:45:00

that's what my mum and dad did, and that's what the vast majority of the public do,

0:45:000:45:04

it's to go and do a job they don't like for the money.

0:45:060:45:09

I think you're very lucky to have an occupation that you love.

0:45:090:45:11

OK, yeah, thanks. You've just completely shafted me, there.

0:45:130:45:17

No I haven't. Why?

0:45:170:45:19

Well, that was a... Let's not have an argument.

0:45:190:45:22

-Yes, fair enough.

-What do you disagree with in that, David?

0:45:220:45:26

What do I disagree with in that?

0:45:290:45:31

-Well, it paints me as a bit of a villain.

-Oh, don't be soft!

0:45:310:45:36

But I'm not going to deny, I enjoy the job that I do,

0:45:360:45:41

absolutely, I do.

0:45:410:45:43

To be honest, I have spent an awful lot of my life training to do

0:45:450:45:50

what I do, and I like to think I'm pretty good at it.

0:45:500:45:54

Is this an argument that the two of you have regularly?

0:45:540:45:58

-Yeah, it crops up.

-I'll say!

-From time to time.

0:45:580:46:01

No, it is, and it's one of those things about going back to

0:46:010:46:04

getting married and being together from, you know,

0:46:040:46:08

and being a family from such an early stage is that we didn't

0:46:080:46:10

-realise that about each other for a while, did we?

-No.

0:46:100:46:14

That was one of the things we discovered about our relationship, and we discovered

0:46:140:46:17

about each other, whilst we were already married and had a child.

0:46:170:46:22

What was it you didn't know? That you both had such different attitudes to money,

0:46:220:46:26

and how to spend it?

0:46:260:46:27

-Yeah.

-I guess that's fair.

-Different attitudes to money, different attitudes to life, really, in a way.

0:46:270:46:32

It's just one of those things that we either have to bear it, or split up, frankly.

0:46:340:46:38

You know, it's that, or it's the other. I can't see any way forward.

0:46:380:46:43

Dave's not going to leave his job, he's not going to leave science, you know,

0:46:430:46:46

I'm not going to stop moaning about that,

0:46:460:46:49

so you either kind of put up or shut up, and that's a decision you make.

0:46:490:46:53

Essentially, we do what's best for the boys, and the best

0:46:530:46:56

for the boys is that they have their dad around and they have their family,

0:46:560:46:59

and we just keep on digging away and doing the best we can.

0:46:590:47:01

It's not ideal, but what can you do?

0:47:010:47:04

# Let's play the blame game

0:47:160:47:20

# I love you, more

0:47:200:47:22

# Let's play the blame game

0:47:220:47:25

# For sure

0:47:250:47:27

# Let's call her names, names

0:47:270:47:30

# I hate you, more

0:47:300:47:33

# Let's call her names, names

0:47:330:47:36

# For sure. #

0:47:360:47:38

We got married in 2001.

0:47:430:47:46

-1990, dear.

-1990.

0:47:460:47:49

Otherwise we would only have been married for nine years!

0:47:490:47:51

-OK, how's your maths?

-Numbers are so difficult!

0:47:550:47:58

When you were first together, did you have plenty of money as a couple?

0:47:590:48:04

-Ish.

-Yes, 20 years ago, I think we were certainly able to do all

0:48:040:48:09

the things that one would like to spend money on,

0:48:090:48:11

go out to dinner, go away for weekends, visit friends a lot. Cinema.

0:48:110:48:16

We used to keep the place, the standard of decoration was very good.

0:48:170:48:21

Kirsty used to spend a lot of money on curtains, furniture,

0:48:210:48:26

flooring, decorating.

0:48:260:48:29

It's what you enjoy, soft furnishings.

0:48:290:48:32

I liked it, yeah, but you like soft furnishing, too!

0:48:320:48:36

We chose this wallpaper together, you put it up.

0:48:360:48:38

-I've always liked your taste.

-Oh, that's good!

0:48:380:48:41

Kirsty and Andrew have one teenage son, Toby,

0:48:420:48:46

and live in Petersfield in Hampshire.

0:48:460:48:49

Kirsty is a nurse and a lecturer in clinical skills,

0:48:500:48:54

and Andrew is a photographer.

0:48:540:48:56

He, for a long time, had a very successful photographic business,

0:48:570:49:01

and earned a lot of money, and then things changed with digital photography,

0:49:010:49:06

you can buy a picture on the Internet for 32p from China,

0:49:060:49:10

why would you spend £700 paying a studio photographer to do the same thing?

0:49:100:49:14

So then that changed, but he didn't really adapt

0:49:140:49:17

to that huge, massive fall in income.

0:49:170:49:20

We did a remortgage package, and the money arrived, we'd paid off,

0:49:220:49:28

we did quite a lot of things we were supposed to do with it,

0:49:280:49:31

paid off a couple of credit cards.

0:49:310:49:34

Quite a lot of the things did get done, but one of the major things

0:49:340:49:37

which I should have done was pay off the balance of the studio mortgage.

0:49:370:49:41

Instead of paying off the £25,000 that was owed on his studio,

0:49:430:49:48

Andrew kept the money.

0:49:480:49:50

Without telling Kirsty, he used it to pay the monthly mortgage payments

0:49:500:49:54

on the family home.

0:49:540:49:56

For over two years, he kept Kirsty in the dark about what he'd done,

0:49:560:50:00

and let her believe the debt had been paid off.

0:50:000:50:03

It was just one of those things that I thought, well, I'd rather keep this quiet.

0:50:050:50:08

Hopefully, if I just increase a little bit more work, then I'll be able to pay it off.

0:50:080:50:13

But, of course, once you start thinking that, it never happens.

0:50:130:50:16

It's a very hard thing to face,

0:50:180:50:21

particularly when you're used to having sufficient funds all the time,

0:50:210:50:26

but it comes to the point where you're seriously falling short,

0:50:260:50:30

it's something very difficult to face up to.

0:50:300:50:32

-And difficult to tell your wife.

-Very difficult to tell your wife.

0:50:320:50:36

And what was Kirsty's reaction when she found out?

0:50:400:50:43

She was very upset, furious, really,

0:50:470:50:51

that I'd kept it so quiet and been so untruthful about it.

0:50:510:50:57

When you were in your darkest moment, Kirsty,

0:51:020:51:04

when you found out that Andrew had been lying to you

0:51:040:51:08

for two years or more, did you ever think of leaving?

0:51:080:51:13

Yeah. Definitely.

0:51:130:51:15

I was so angry and so irritated and so mortified,

0:51:170:51:22

and I felt so stupid and humiliated, and I thought I'll never believe him again.

0:51:220:51:29

-And do you believe him now? Sometimes.

-Not always.

0:51:290:51:34

When I'm looking over his shoulder at his account, and the balance is up on the screen, I believe him.

0:51:340:51:40

If he says he hasn't got any money, I know he's lying,

0:51:430:51:46

so I just look over his shoulder at the online balance,

0:51:460:51:50

and then I know what the truth of the story is.

0:51:500:51:54

I always want to be in a position where I can provide, that I can provide well.

0:51:540:51:59

It's very embarrassing to find that you are short,

0:51:590:52:03

and it's one thing that I really do not want to admit,

0:52:030:52:07

so, therefore, I've been flexible with the truth about it.

0:52:070:52:10

There are a lot of things I don't find embarrassing at all.

0:52:160:52:18

I've never found any kind of musical performance difficult,

0:52:180:52:23

or speaking in front of people, a lot of things that people would find very difficult,

0:52:230:52:28

but dealing with money, I think, is extremely difficult.

0:52:280:52:31

Are you a bit of a child around money, Andrew?

0:52:340:52:36

I think I must have been, yes. I'm just not good with it.

0:52:360:52:41

-Why are you like that?

-I think I'm improving.

0:52:410:52:45

-No, that wasn't the question. Why are you like that?

-I don't know why I'm like that.

0:52:450:52:50

I think it's probably because it's not one of my skills, really.

0:52:500:52:56

I don't think I'd ever be good with money.

0:52:560:52:58

# Hold me in your arms

0:53:040:53:11

# May they keep me

0:53:120:53:16

# Singing

0:53:160:53:18

# A lullaby

0:53:200:53:24

# Cos I'm sleepy

0:53:240:53:27

# I'm scared you don't need me any more. #

0:53:290:53:34

She won't run off. She knows exactly where she's getting her next meal from, and that's from me.

0:53:340:53:39

# Bring me

0:53:390:53:42

# To the light of the morning. #

0:53:430:53:48

-Hello!

-Why the silly voice?

0:53:510:53:53

-Slightly silly mood.

-That's not good.

0:53:530:53:57

-How long have you two been married now?

-22 days.

-Yeah.

0:54:000:54:05

Have you had a discussion about your finances since you were married?

0:54:050:54:10

Yeah. I mean, we've talked about

0:54:100:54:15

what luxuries we can and can't afford.

0:54:150:54:18

When you go to work, sometimes it's nice to have a Diet Coke,

0:54:180:54:21

or whatever, at work, and whether or not you should buy them

0:54:210:54:25

at the supermarket, because obviously they're cheaper

0:54:250:54:28

if you buy them in bulk, than buying from a vending machine.

0:54:280:54:30

We thought we'd hold off buying them at the supermarket to see how

0:54:300:54:34

much we actually end up drinking at work,

0:54:340:54:36

and whether or not we save money in the long run if we bought,

0:54:360:54:40

you know, four or eight a week, or whatever.

0:54:400:54:43

We were worried that what we'd end up doing is drinking more,

0:54:430:54:45

and it's just little things like that, where it doesn't feel like a great deal of money,

0:54:450:54:48

but if you work out that you have one bottle a day, a pound a day during the working week,

0:54:480:54:52

then you're spending 250 quid on Coke, which isn't insignificant.

0:54:520:54:57

You think everything through to an incredible extent. Is that something you have in common?

0:54:570:55:01

Yeah, I think we are, like, quite strategic planners.

0:55:010:55:06

-I was thinking we could do something with the prawns that are left over.

-Yep.

0:55:080:55:13

If we haven't got enough spag bol, we could do a tiny starter, or something.

0:55:130:55:19

Yeah, sure. Yeah.

0:55:190:55:22

Have you had an argument yet?

0:55:220:55:24

I really don't think we did.

0:55:260:55:28

Don't know.

0:55:310:55:32

There was a moment of, like, stern talking to in the Maldives, on honeymoon,

0:55:340:55:38

when we ran very low on loo roll,

0:55:380:55:41

because Vicky had a cold, and I had a slightly dodgy tummy.

0:55:410:55:45

Too much information, just oversharing!

0:55:450:55:48

We started to run low, and I was just like, just, you know, but anyway, that was...

0:55:480:55:53

It was you that got cross, Jonathan, was it?

0:55:530:55:56

I felt my need for loo roll was greater!

0:55:560:55:58

And that's been the only cause of disagreement?

0:55:590:56:03

Yeah.

0:56:040:56:05

-Andrew, are you happily married?

-I think we have a bit of a laugh, yes.

0:56:080:56:13

-Are you happily married, Kirsty?

-Yes.

0:56:150:56:18

When he's not there, I miss him for somebody to go to the pub with,

0:56:180:56:22

or say "What shall we buy for lunch?" or "Can you go and fill my car up with petrol?"

0:56:220:56:26

or, you know, "Let's watch a film. What do you want to watch on telly?"

0:56:260:56:32

So it's having a companion, somebody to talk to that is easy to do

0:56:320:56:36

because you've done it for a number of years, I suppose.

0:56:360:56:39

Is that right?

0:56:420:56:44

Yes, and hopefully there's a certain degree of entertainment.

0:56:440:56:46

-What, you're funny?

-Yeah, I hope so!

0:56:460:56:49

Yes, yes, but you're funny as well, sometimes.

0:56:520:56:55

Sometimes you're irritating, but that's normal,

0:56:550:56:57

but you find me really irritating, as well.

0:56:570:57:00

Do you just tolerate the arguments about money, now?

0:57:060:57:09

-Do you just accept that they are just part of your relationship?

-Yeah.

0:57:090:57:12

I think you accept that that it's probably not going to...

0:57:120:57:15

Nick won't shift on his, and I, probably, too late.

0:57:150:57:19

It's really going to be difficult for me to move on my attitudes about it.

0:57:210:57:25

Well, what we've found is that it's probably best we don't talk about

0:57:250:57:28

it, because we don't really tend to see it in quite the same light.

0:57:280:57:32

I think the bottom line is, all right, you have your arguments,

0:57:320:57:36

and on a practical level, you stumble over the problems,

0:57:360:57:40

but we want to stay together, and we want to make it work and we want to grow old together,

0:57:400:57:45

and I think that's the bottom line.

0:57:450:57:48

# Some things are meant to be

0:57:480:57:52

# Take my hand

0:57:540:57:59

# Take my whole life too

0:58:000:58:04

# For I can't help

0:58:080:58:12

# Falling in love with you. #

0:58:140:58:19

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

0:58:360:58:39

E-mail [email protected]

0:58:390:58:42

The second episode in Vanessa Engle's three-part documentary series exploring our personal attitudes to money.

This film about couples looks at how money affects our personal relationships. The top five causes of conflict in relationships are money, sex, work, children and housework - in that order. Couples from around the country - young and old, rich and poor - reveal the intimate truth about the role money plays in their relationships.


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