0:00:02 > 0:00:07This programme contains strong language
0:00:07 > 0:00:11I think it's great that he's elusive, it adds to the mystique.
0:00:11 > 0:00:16Is John Cooper Clarke actually alive? Does he exist? Is he real?
0:00:16 > 0:00:18Or is he something we've created,
0:00:18 > 0:00:21because we're sick of the poets of the past?
0:00:40 > 0:00:42Who is John Cooper Clarke?
0:00:42 > 0:00:44My hero.
0:00:44 > 0:00:48Part freak, part poet, part singer, part comic.
0:00:48 > 0:00:51If I'm talking to someone and I say, "Do you know John Cooper Clarke?"
0:00:51 > 0:00:53And they say, "Oh, yes, he's a genius."
0:00:53 > 0:00:55Then you go, "OK, you've saved me a lot of time."
0:00:55 > 0:00:59In places where it wasn't necessarily wanted or appreciated,
0:00:59 > 0:01:02a man took poetry to rock audiences,
0:01:02 > 0:01:04and they discovered that they did like it.
0:01:04 > 0:01:07You know, poets are usually wandering lonely as a cloud,
0:01:07 > 0:01:10they're not speeding down Highway 61.
0:01:10 > 0:01:12It was punk, so you didn't need a guitar
0:01:12 > 0:01:14to be Bob Dylan, you could just do the words.
0:01:14 > 0:01:18There's no-one quite like John, has been, or probably ever will be.
0:01:18 > 0:01:21You've either never hear to him, or you love him.
0:01:21 > 0:01:22For me, it was an inspiration.
0:01:22 > 0:01:25He is a lifelong influence,
0:01:25 > 0:01:26and a very thin man.
0:01:26 > 0:01:30John Cooper Clarke is always going to be a relevant person.
0:01:30 > 0:01:33People always going to be discovering him over and over.
0:01:33 > 0:01:34What happened to him?
0:01:34 > 0:01:38He had it all, it blew up in his face.
0:01:38 > 0:01:39HE LAUGHS
0:01:40 > 0:01:42Could you do something for us now,
0:01:42 > 0:01:44maybe something that you've written recently?
0:01:44 > 0:01:46Sure, sure, yeah, yeah, yeah.
0:01:46 > 0:01:47Lovely.
0:01:47 > 0:01:51Well, I'm in an acrimonious frame of mind
0:01:51 > 0:01:55because of the dreadful hotels these promoters have been putting me in,
0:01:55 > 0:01:56I'll do this one.
0:01:56 > 0:01:59I mean, you won't believe the hotels they're putting me in.
0:01:59 > 0:02:01I went to see the manager, I says,
0:02:01 > 0:02:02"I've come to see you about the roof."
0:02:02 > 0:02:04He says, "What about it?"
0:02:04 > 0:02:06I said, "I want one." HE LAUGHS
0:02:06 > 0:02:08I said, "I'll have pneumonia in the morning."
0:02:08 > 0:02:11He said, "You'll have cornflakes like every ... else.
0:02:11 > 0:02:13THEY LAUGH
0:02:13 > 0:02:18Right, this is called... Well, the title appears on the very last line.
0:02:18 > 0:02:21"Like a nightclub in the morning You're the bitter end
0:02:21 > 0:02:23"Like a recently disinfected shithouse
0:02:23 > 0:02:24"You're clean round the bend
0:02:24 > 0:02:27"You give me the horrors Too bad to be true
0:02:27 > 0:02:29"All of my tomorrows are lousy cos of you
0:02:29 > 0:02:31"You put the shat in shatter
0:02:31 > 0:02:32"You put the pain in Spain
0:02:32 > 0:02:34"Your germs are splattered about
0:02:34 > 0:02:36"Your face is just a stain..."
0:02:36 > 0:02:39You're certainly no raver Commonly known as a drag
0:02:39 > 0:02:42Do us all a favour here Wear this polythene bag
0:02:42 > 0:02:45You're like a dose of scabies I've got you under my skin
0:02:45 > 0:02:47You make life a fairy tale - Grimm!
0:02:47 > 0:02:51A sumo wrestler's armpits have nothing on your shoes
0:02:51 > 0:02:53Show me any two halfwits And they are twice as smart as you
0:02:53 > 0:02:55I think about thrombosis every time we touch
0:02:55 > 0:02:57I say, "You can have acute halitosis"
0:02:57 > 0:03:00You say, "Thank you very much "You're very pleasant"
0:03:00 > 0:03:01I know it's just a fad
0:03:01 > 0:03:03Your very presence makes me really mad
0:03:03 > 0:03:06I hear your knock upon my door And I've got to get out of town
0:03:06 > 0:03:09I hit the lights, I hit the floor I turn the TV down...
0:03:09 > 0:03:11People mention murder the moment you arrive.
0:03:11 > 0:03:14I'd consider killing you If I thought you were alive
0:03:14 > 0:03:18You've got this slippery quality It makes me think of phlegm
0:03:18 > 0:03:21A dual personality I hate both of them...
0:03:21 > 0:03:25Your bad breath, vamps disease Destruction and decay
0:03:25 > 0:03:30Please, please, please, please Take yourself away
0:03:30 > 0:03:34Like a death at a birthday party You ruin all the fun
0:03:34 > 0:03:39Like a sucked-and-spat-out Smartie You're no use to anyone...
0:03:39 > 0:03:42Like a black widow spider In the recess of disgrace
0:03:42 > 0:03:45Speaking as an outsider What do you think of the human race?
0:03:45 > 0:03:48You went to a progressive psychiatrist
0:03:48 > 0:03:49Who recommended suicide
0:03:49 > 0:03:51Before scratching your bad name of his list
0:03:51 > 0:03:53And pointing the way outside
0:03:53 > 0:03:56Laughter from the playground Breaks your bleeding heart
0:03:56 > 0:03:58You're heading for a breakdown Better pull yourself apart
0:03:58 > 0:04:01Your dirty name is passed about when something goes amiss
0:04:01 > 0:04:05Your attitudes are platitudes They make me want to piss
0:04:05 > 0:04:08What kind of creature bore you? Was it some kind of bat?
0:04:08 > 0:04:11They can't find a good word for you
0:04:11 > 0:04:12but I can - twat!
0:04:12 > 0:04:15THEY LAUGH
0:04:15 > 0:04:17- Thank you very much.- My pleasure.
0:04:17 > 0:04:22I think John's poetry is from the heart of Salford.
0:04:22 > 0:04:27It comes up from the gutters, and it rises up to the skies
0:04:27 > 0:04:32and allows normal, everyday people to listen to poetry
0:04:32 > 0:04:37and say, for the first time, that they can connect with a poem.
0:04:37 > 0:04:39Whether he intended it or not,
0:04:39 > 0:04:43I think he took poetry out of those middle-class venues,
0:04:43 > 0:04:45and very middle-class mindset,
0:04:45 > 0:04:49and actually gave poetry back to the working classes.
0:04:49 > 0:04:51He is the people's poet, you know,
0:04:51 > 0:04:54he speaks a language that they understand,
0:04:54 > 0:04:56it's simple, it's straight to the point.
0:04:56 > 0:04:59You don't need a codebook to work out what he's on about.
0:04:59 > 0:05:01The centre of literary power, if you like,
0:05:01 > 0:05:03never really took him seriously.
0:05:03 > 0:05:07He had an accent, he rhymed relentlessly and loudly,
0:05:07 > 0:05:10it's a recipe for people not really thinking there's anything of nuance,
0:05:10 > 0:05:11or anything of value to be said,
0:05:11 > 0:05:15and so he was roundly ignored by the literary establishment.
0:05:15 > 0:05:17I can see how they wouldn't get it,
0:05:17 > 0:05:20but I'm glad they don't get it, it was something for us,
0:05:20 > 0:05:22something that set us apart from that.
0:05:22 > 0:05:24You know, it was a reaction to the poetry shite
0:05:24 > 0:05:26that they were putting down.
0:05:26 > 0:05:29Look, poetry can be fun, it can be aggressive, it can be angry,
0:05:29 > 0:05:33it can be beautiful, it can be whatever you want it to be.
0:05:33 > 0:05:37It proves you don't have to go to Oxford or Cambridge
0:05:37 > 0:05:40to be intelligent, thoughtful, incisive.
0:05:41 > 0:05:44As a performer, whether it's a poet, or an actor, whatever you do,
0:05:44 > 0:05:46all your instrument is, is this.
0:05:46 > 0:05:49And that's his... you know, he marries that with that.
0:05:49 > 0:05:52Ah, no, this is about nothing
0:05:52 > 0:05:54Nothing is but nothing Something it is not
0:05:54 > 0:05:57Nil plus nil makes nothing, And nothing is what I've got.
0:05:57 > 0:06:00I've got that certain nothing no-one can do without
0:06:00 > 0:06:02The Spanish call it nada
0:06:02 > 0:06:04I'd call it nowt.
0:06:07 > 0:06:08Sex and violence, eh?
0:06:10 > 0:06:12I see we have a clergyman in the audience.
0:06:12 > 0:06:15THEY LAUGH
0:06:15 > 0:06:20First gig I ever did was a benefit for CND, or something,
0:06:20 > 0:06:23you know, in some pub in Oldham Street, up there.
0:06:23 > 0:06:25And my dad had a glancing interest in what I did,
0:06:25 > 0:06:28even though his general attitude was,
0:06:28 > 0:06:30you know, "Leave it up to the experts.
0:06:30 > 0:06:33I said, "Hey, Dad, I've got a booking."
0:06:33 > 0:06:35"What, reading your poetry, really?
0:06:35 > 0:06:37"How much are you getting?"
0:06:37 > 0:06:38"It's a benefit, Dad."
0:06:38 > 0:06:40"What, you're not getting paid?
0:06:40 > 0:06:43"Well, anybody will employ you on that basis."
0:06:43 > 0:06:45I'm grateful I never had any encouragement, actually,
0:06:45 > 0:06:47I'm really grateful.
0:06:47 > 0:06:50You look at the poets that got encouraged by their parents,
0:06:50 > 0:06:51and they're all shit.
0:06:52 > 0:06:55Best advice I ever got, and I can't remember where I read it,
0:06:55 > 0:07:00but it was at school, was, "Copy the style of somebody you like...
0:07:01 > 0:07:04"..but write about what you know about."
0:07:04 > 0:07:07Most of my stuff rhymes and is very strict.
0:07:07 > 0:07:09It has a very strict metre, you know.
0:07:09 > 0:07:12And it's from Palgrave's Golden Treasury,
0:07:12 > 0:07:16a school textbook of poetry, you know.
0:07:17 > 0:07:21I hated school, but they taught you how to read, that's the main thing.
0:07:21 > 0:07:23A love of poetry was instilled,
0:07:23 > 0:07:25thanks to Mr John Malone.
0:07:25 > 0:07:27He was this rugged, outdoor type.
0:07:27 > 0:07:30Every September, after the summer holiday,
0:07:30 > 0:07:32he would come back with a new injury.
0:07:32 > 0:07:36I remember he fell 300 feet once from a ledge in Snowdonia one year,
0:07:36 > 0:07:38he had a limp for the rest of the term.
0:07:38 > 0:07:41He had a glass eye that he got skiing somehow,
0:07:41 > 0:07:44you know, he was an Ernest Hemingway type.
0:07:44 > 0:07:45Mr Malone made it live.
0:07:45 > 0:07:48He started off with a few action things
0:07:48 > 0:07:51like Vitae Lampada by Sir Henry Newbolt,
0:07:51 > 0:07:52you know that one, don't you?
0:07:52 > 0:07:55The sand of the desert is sodden red
0:07:55 > 0:07:57Red with the wreck of a square that broke
0:07:57 > 0:08:00The Gatling's jammed And the colonel's dead
0:08:00 > 0:08:03And the regiment blind with dust and smoke
0:08:03 > 0:08:06The river of death has brimmed its banks
0:08:06 > 0:08:08England's far, and Honour, a name
0:08:08 > 0:08:12But the voice of a schoolboy rallies the ranks
0:08:12 > 0:08:15Play up, play up, and play the game.
0:08:15 > 0:08:17Stuff like that he'd start us off with,
0:08:17 > 0:08:21stuff that a class full of teddy boys would like.
0:08:21 > 0:08:23I don't think there was anybody in our class
0:08:23 > 0:08:26that actually was left without a love of poetry, actually,
0:08:26 > 0:08:28that was a golden year.
0:08:28 > 0:08:30First guy that ever gave me money for doing what I do
0:08:30 > 0:08:34was the late Mr Bernard Manning, ladies and gentlemen,
0:08:34 > 0:08:37so, he has a very special place in my heart, if only for that reason.
0:08:37 > 0:08:38But he was a funny guy
0:08:38 > 0:08:42and a typical introduction then would have been, at the Embassy Club,
0:08:42 > 0:08:44was something like this.
0:08:44 > 0:08:45"Here he is, all the way from Salford.
0:08:45 > 0:08:48"He's not my cup of tea, but you might like him, John Cooper Clarke."
0:08:48 > 0:08:50LAUGHING
0:08:51 > 0:08:53Poetry was something I did for a hobby, you know.
0:08:53 > 0:08:55A couple of close pals, they knew I did it,
0:08:55 > 0:08:58but there wasn't no big thing about it.
0:08:58 > 0:09:00So, I just, sort of, punted it around,
0:09:00 > 0:09:04went round all these clubs, and a couple of times in jazz clubs.
0:09:04 > 0:09:06Then I got a job at this place called
0:09:06 > 0:09:09Mr Smith's Cabaret Club for Young Adults.
0:09:09 > 0:09:12I got a gig, like, doing 20 minutes of stuff
0:09:12 > 0:09:16and then bringing on the main acts on a Sunday night.
0:09:16 > 0:09:19The next stop would have been the Embassy,
0:09:19 > 0:09:22but there were millions of clubs like the Embassy Club in Manchester.
0:09:22 > 0:09:23Millions of them.
0:09:23 > 0:09:26The way I see it, you know, I get suited up for it.
0:09:26 > 0:09:27You know what I mean?
0:09:27 > 0:09:29I'll be a nightclub entertainer,
0:09:29 > 0:09:31fucking glamour, isn't it, all the way?
0:09:31 > 0:09:34So, I had myself figured as that kind of guy, you know what I mean,
0:09:34 > 0:09:37and I'll do a few poems, I'll slip a couple of poems in.
0:09:37 > 0:09:39They'll think, "Not only is he a gifted entertainer,
0:09:39 > 0:09:41"he's a fucking deep guy."
0:09:44 > 0:09:47I was about 13 when I came across John Cooper Clarke.
0:09:47 > 0:09:49I think I saw him on Granada Reports, a gig he did,
0:09:49 > 0:09:52and he blew everything out of the water, tore the roof of the place.
0:09:52 > 0:09:55Ex-students, reformed hippies, and lovers of drink,
0:09:55 > 0:09:57clapping and shouting for poetry,
0:09:57 > 0:09:59strange, but so is John Cooper Clarke.
0:09:59 > 0:10:02Holding down a day job in the tool room of Salford Tech,
0:10:02 > 0:10:05he also happens to be just about the brightest performing poet
0:10:05 > 0:10:06this side of Cassius Clay.
0:10:06 > 0:10:09His first appearances were on regional television,
0:10:09 > 0:10:10if I'm not mistaken,
0:10:10 > 0:10:13in Manchester - I think Tony Wilson was probably involved in that.
0:10:13 > 0:10:16- Are you embarrassed about being a poet?- Not really,
0:10:16 > 0:10:19but people can get entirely the wrong impression, can't they?
0:10:19 > 0:10:22Poet, you know, it's a fellow that skips around with a butterfly net.
0:10:22 > 0:10:26To me, at school, he was exciting, because he's different,
0:10:26 > 0:10:31he spoke to my generation, unlike a lot of the other comedians,
0:10:31 > 0:10:34sort of, working men's club comics.
0:10:34 > 0:10:38He did something that was both funny, accessible,
0:10:38 > 0:10:41but smart, it had an intellect behind it too.
0:10:41 > 0:10:44This paper is boring, mindless, and mean
0:10:44 > 0:10:47It's full of pornography The kind that's clean
0:10:47 > 0:10:50Where William Hickey meets Michael Caine
0:10:50 > 0:10:52Again and again and again and again
0:10:52 > 0:10:56You learn all kinds of ugliness in hideous excess
0:10:56 > 0:11:00But you'll never find the nipple In the Daily Express.
0:11:00 > 0:11:02APPLAUSE
0:11:02 > 0:11:05I'm grateful that I saw John Cooper Clarke on television
0:11:05 > 0:11:07when I was a child/teenager
0:11:07 > 0:11:11because, from my point of view as a performing artist,
0:11:11 > 0:11:12he fostered that thought
0:11:12 > 0:11:15that there's a different way of doing things.
0:11:15 > 0:11:18You don't have to do things the way everybody else does it.
0:11:18 > 0:11:20Of course, as he was featured on the telly,
0:11:20 > 0:11:24he started to touch a wider consciousness in the North West,
0:11:24 > 0:11:27but I think, you know, initially,
0:11:27 > 0:11:30those of us who were going to the gigs on the punk circuit
0:11:30 > 0:11:32were the only ones who really knew.
0:11:32 > 0:11:36'76, '77, this explosion of life and possibility,
0:11:36 > 0:11:38imagination and ambition,
0:11:38 > 0:11:43and John Cooper Clarke was a poet who fitted in to that.
0:11:43 > 0:11:46And even though he maybe took the baton on from Johnny Rotten,
0:11:46 > 0:11:48when he came up to Manchester in 1976,
0:11:48 > 0:11:51it was almost John Cooper Clarke that was the first to snatch it.
0:11:51 > 0:11:53All those clubs that opened up because of punk,
0:11:53 > 0:11:55because of the Sex Pistols, you know what I mean,
0:11:55 > 0:11:57I thought I'd jump in at the deep end,
0:11:57 > 0:11:59it was a make-or-break situation.
0:12:01 > 0:12:04Well, I already looked like a sort of a punk,
0:12:04 > 0:12:06three buttoned suit, short hair.
0:12:06 > 0:12:09At first it was quite a broad church.
0:12:09 > 0:12:11You weren't allowed to wear flared trousers,
0:12:11 > 0:12:13that was about the only rule.
0:12:13 > 0:12:17The whole punk movement was quite serious, you know,
0:12:17 > 0:12:20the spirit of rebellion and anarchy, questioning your parents,
0:12:20 > 0:12:22it was quite a dark movement.
0:12:22 > 0:12:25You know, the punk crowds were known for being raucous,
0:12:25 > 0:12:28and for spitting, and for pogoing and all that.
0:12:28 > 0:12:30It wasn't a respectful crowd.
0:12:30 > 0:12:32They let you know what they thought.
0:12:32 > 0:12:36Poetry, in a way, couldn't have been less punk.
0:12:36 > 0:12:41I sometimes look back to those early gigs and they were dangerous,
0:12:41 > 0:12:44they were chaotic, dare I say, anarchic?
0:12:44 > 0:12:48Which is why somebody like Johnny Clarke fits in perfectly,
0:12:48 > 0:12:52cos he could ride that, he wasn't precious, he didn't pull strokes.
0:12:52 > 0:12:55So, if someone said, "Pop out there
0:12:55 > 0:12:57"and give a bit of verbals, will you?"
0:12:57 > 0:12:59He would fit in perfectly.
0:12:59 > 0:13:01He could also dodge the bottles.
0:13:01 > 0:13:04People used to ask me, you know,
0:13:04 > 0:13:08about, "Aren't you scared reading poetry to punk rockers, and that?"
0:13:08 > 0:13:13But, like I say, it's not as bad as the nightclub circuit,
0:13:13 > 0:13:15which I what I was working on
0:13:15 > 0:13:19in the period immediately before the punk rock.
0:13:19 > 0:13:21Who were you supporting there, what sort of acts?
0:13:21 > 0:13:25Uh, ventriloquists, strippers, comedians, fire eaters.
0:13:25 > 0:13:28That's one hell of a show.
0:13:28 > 0:13:29Yeah.
0:13:29 > 0:13:31The audience I was getting just before the punk days,
0:13:31 > 0:13:35there was one thing you could take for granted,
0:13:35 > 0:13:39none of them were particularly interested in poetry.
0:13:39 > 0:13:43Those places were really... I mean, very, very hostile.
0:13:44 > 0:13:47You know, unbelievably hostile places.
0:13:47 > 0:13:51Punch-up places, you know, I mean, the punks just fucking...
0:13:51 > 0:13:55you know, as I say, it was like a doddle to me.
0:13:55 > 0:13:58It was like, "Thank God I don't have to play there again."
0:13:58 > 0:14:01# ..rock and roll radio, let's go...#
0:14:01 > 0:14:04The first punk band I remember hearing was, without a doubt,
0:14:04 > 0:14:08the Ramones, the greatest rock and roll band ever.
0:14:08 > 0:14:11They just made everybody else look like a waste of time,
0:14:11 > 0:14:14and that's the first time punk hit me, you know, I thought...
0:14:15 > 0:14:16..yeah, that's punk rock.
0:14:20 > 0:14:22Right, John, a clip of the Ramones.
0:14:22 > 0:14:24John, how many of the brothers can you name?
0:14:24 > 0:14:26Uh, Joey, Dee Dee...
0:14:26 > 0:14:29um...
0:14:30 > 0:14:32..Johnny, is there a Johnny?
0:14:32 > 0:14:34Johnny, yes, Johnny, Joey, Dee Dee and...?
0:14:34 > 0:14:35And Marky.
0:14:35 > 0:14:36Yes, Marky was an original member,
0:14:36 > 0:14:39and was eventually replaced by Tommy, so you have two points.
0:14:39 > 0:14:41No, no, I think Marky replaced Tommy.
0:14:41 > 0:14:43The other way round, you're quite right.
0:14:43 > 0:14:44At the end of that round,
0:14:44 > 0:14:47BA's team, 21, Paul Jones' team, 23.
0:14:47 > 0:14:52The Ramones used to brag about their set getting shorter.
0:14:52 > 0:14:56I remember they said, "Last time we were here, we were on for 40 minutes,
0:14:56 > 0:14:58"this time, we got it finished in 25,
0:14:58 > 0:15:01"we're getting better all the time."
0:15:01 > 0:15:04That was the template for me then, it really had a big impression.
0:15:04 > 0:15:07Oh, that's what you do, you crank it up a few gears.
0:15:07 > 0:15:10I listen to it now, it don't make no fucking sense,
0:15:10 > 0:15:12but then it was just the house style.
0:15:12 > 0:15:14Gaberdine Angus at the magazine rack
0:15:14 > 0:15:16Views the situation from the front to the back
0:15:16 > 0:15:18Nobody's looking for the man with the mac
0:15:18 > 0:15:21Stick it right back on the stack, Jack.
0:15:28 > 0:15:32First time I saw him, he was supporting Elvis Costello.
0:15:32 > 0:15:37John really didn't, sort of, figure much in the pre-match analysis.
0:15:37 > 0:15:40We were talking about Richard Hell and the Voidoids. "This is amazing!
0:15:40 > 0:15:41"What's Blank Generation...?"
0:15:41 > 0:15:43We were very excited about that,
0:15:43 > 0:15:45and, obviously, Costello was Costello.
0:15:45 > 0:15:50John shuffles on and is the most amazing thing.
0:15:50 > 0:15:54He wanders on with his barnet up and his shades on, stick thin,
0:15:54 > 0:15:55and is cool as fuck.
0:15:55 > 0:15:59And then reading poems at this breakneck speed.
0:15:59 > 0:16:02You pogo'd to it in your head, you didn't dance because of the music.
0:16:02 > 0:16:04It was exciting to listen to him talk.
0:16:04 > 0:16:08And he looks so strange, you know, he looks so odd,
0:16:08 > 0:16:09like a punk Bob Dylan.
0:16:09 > 0:16:13Which, in a sense, you know, you could say he, sort of, was.
0:16:13 > 0:16:17He was, he was our Dylan, really, he was not scared people laugh,
0:16:17 > 0:16:19not scared to make people cry.
0:16:19 > 0:16:22No-one was doing that, no-one was doing poetry at a punk gig.
0:16:22 > 0:16:25It wasn't like a poetry reading that you'd ever seen before,
0:16:25 > 0:16:28you know, somebody with a tweed jacket on,
0:16:28 > 0:16:31going, "Here's one of my later works..."
0:16:31 > 0:16:34It's, sort of, right there in your face.
0:16:34 > 0:16:36He out-punked punk, in a way,
0:16:36 > 0:16:38you know, it was, three chords, form a band and away you go.
0:16:38 > 0:16:41He didn't even need the three chords.
0:16:41 > 0:16:44Any band that picked him up, he would have been the best lyricist
0:16:44 > 0:16:45in any of those bands ever, you know.
0:16:45 > 0:16:50And all of us just... That's the thing that we were talking about.
0:16:50 > 0:16:56To us, who were fans of punk, he was the spearhead of this thing.
0:16:56 > 0:17:00And this influx that the Pistols gave to pop culture,
0:17:00 > 0:17:03that it could be intelligent and smart, that it was about protest,
0:17:03 > 0:17:06and it was about telling people who you were, and where you were.
0:17:06 > 0:17:08Cooper Clarke, he understood that,
0:17:08 > 0:17:10and he saw the surrealism in it, he saw the Dadaism,
0:17:10 > 0:17:13he saw the futurism in it, and he saw the rock and roll in it.
0:17:13 > 0:17:15Through him, somehow, we saw it too.
0:17:24 > 0:17:26I wasn't welcome everywhere I went,
0:17:26 > 0:17:29especially, as the roadies kept reminding me
0:17:29 > 0:17:32constantly throughout the tour,
0:17:32 > 0:17:35"I can't wait till we do Glasgow Apollo."
0:17:35 > 0:17:39That was the one time I was thinking of bottling out.
0:17:39 > 0:17:44Cos I was, like, very much associated with punk rock right now,
0:17:44 > 0:17:46and they were very polarised times,
0:17:46 > 0:17:48when people were very tribal about music.
0:17:48 > 0:17:54So, any heavy metal people, they didn't really like punks.
0:17:54 > 0:17:57Two weeks before the event, I was already shitting myself,
0:17:57 > 0:17:59you know what I mean?
0:17:59 > 0:18:04I'd heard about their razor gangs, and how they hated English people.
0:18:04 > 0:18:07Cavemen in RAF overcoats,
0:18:07 > 0:18:10banging their heads on the seats in front,
0:18:10 > 0:18:13you know, they hated me, they hated me.
0:18:13 > 0:18:17It's a very extreme experience to have 4,500 people hating you
0:18:17 > 0:18:19all at the same time.
0:18:19 > 0:18:21So, I lasted, I think four minutes,
0:18:21 > 0:18:24then I said to them, "I think it's gone down in history,"
0:18:24 > 0:18:26when I managed to get a word in edgeways,
0:18:26 > 0:18:30I just sort of said, "Let's call it a draw."
0:18:30 > 0:18:31And fucked off.
0:18:34 > 0:18:36Outside the takeaway Saturday night
0:18:36 > 0:18:39A bald adolescent asked me out for a fight
0:18:39 > 0:18:41He was no bigger than a two bob fart
0:18:41 > 0:18:44He was a deft exponent of the martial arts
0:18:44 > 0:18:47He gave me three warnings Trod on me toes
0:18:47 > 0:18:50Stuck his fingers in my eyes And kicked me in the nose
0:18:50 > 0:18:52A rabbit punch made my eyes explode
0:18:52 > 0:18:55My head went dead I fell in the road
0:18:55 > 0:18:58I pleaded for mercy I wriggled on the ground
0:18:58 > 0:19:00He kicked me in the balls And said something profound
0:19:00 > 0:19:03Gave my face the millimetre tread
0:19:03 > 0:19:06Stole my chop suey and left me for dead
0:19:06 > 0:19:09Through rivers of blood On fractured bones
0:19:09 > 0:19:10Crawled half a mile to a public telephone
0:19:10 > 0:19:13Pulled the corpse out the call box Held back the bile
0:19:13 > 0:19:14Broken index finger I proceeded to dial
0:19:14 > 0:19:17Couldn't get an ambulance The phone was screwed
0:19:17 > 0:19:19The receiver fell in half It had been kung fu'd
0:19:19 > 0:19:21A black belt karate cop opened up the door
0:19:21 > 0:19:23Demanding information about the stiff on the floor
0:19:23 > 0:19:25He looked like an extra from Yang Shang Po
0:19:25 > 0:19:27He said, "What's all this then? Ah so, ah so, ah so"
0:19:27 > 0:19:29He wore a bamboo mask Genned on zen
0:19:29 > 0:19:31He finished his devotions And he beat me up again
0:19:31 > 0:19:33Thanks to that embryonic Bruce Lee
0:19:33 > 0:19:35I'm a shadow of the person that I used to be
0:19:35 > 0:19:37I can't go back to Salford The cops have got me marked
0:19:37 > 0:19:40Enter the dragon Exit Johnny Clarke.
0:19:40 > 0:19:42APPLAUSE
0:19:42 > 0:19:43When you realise that he was
0:19:43 > 0:19:47doing these poems before alternative comedy,
0:19:47 > 0:19:50you realise that his brain
0:19:50 > 0:19:52and his mindset were ahead of the game.
0:19:52 > 0:19:581979, '80, you become aware of this alternative comedy thing happening.
0:19:58 > 0:20:03Alexei Sale, the Comic Strip, Rik Mayall, all those people.
0:20:03 > 0:20:05People do tend to forget
0:20:05 > 0:20:09that there were people ahead of the curve there in the '70s.
0:20:09 > 0:20:11First and foremost, there's John Cooper Clarke,
0:20:11 > 0:20:14who was on stage, doing a form of cabaret,
0:20:14 > 0:20:15that wasn't working men's club comedy,
0:20:15 > 0:20:19and it wasn't, sort of, satirical monologues either.
0:20:19 > 0:20:22It was something else that we didn't really have here.
0:20:22 > 0:20:25I think, we comedians looked at him as a man who had, kind of,
0:20:25 > 0:20:27been there and done that.
0:20:27 > 0:20:29If he'd never written a poem in his life,
0:20:29 > 0:20:31he could still be a star as a stand-up.
0:20:31 > 0:20:35Andrew Motion, you wouldn't want to see him down The Comedy Store.
0:20:35 > 0:20:38I almost don't want to denigrate him by describing him as a comedian,
0:20:38 > 0:20:40because he does more than that, he transcends that.
0:20:40 > 0:20:44Um, it's about something, he had an attitude,
0:20:44 > 0:20:46a spirit of dissent...
0:20:47 > 0:20:50..that he captured, rather than a spirit of compliance.
0:20:50 > 0:20:53Right, this next one is a political parable,
0:20:53 > 0:20:56in which every other words begins with the letter P,
0:20:56 > 0:20:59it's an exercise in what we call alliteration.
0:20:59 > 0:21:00And it's called The Pest.
0:21:00 > 0:21:03Watch out, the first 16 rows.
0:21:03 > 0:21:06LAUGHING
0:21:06 > 0:21:09The pest, pulled up Propped his pushbike at a pillar box
0:21:09 > 0:21:12Pulled his 'peen paused at a post and pissed
0:21:12 > 0:21:15"Piss in the proper place" Pronounced a perturbed pedestrian
0:21:15 > 0:21:18And presently, this particular part of the planet
0:21:18 > 0:21:21Was plunged into a panorama of public pressure and pleasure through pain
0:21:21 > 0:21:24The pandemonium prompted the police
0:21:24 > 0:21:26Who patrolled the precinct in panda cars
0:21:26 > 0:21:28To pull up and peruse the problem
0:21:28 > 0:21:32While pickpockets picked pockets in pairs
0:21:32 > 0:21:35"Arrest the pest who so pointedly pissed in that public place"
0:21:35 > 0:21:39Pleaded the peeved people practically palpitating
0:21:39 > 0:21:41The powerful police picked up the pest
0:21:41 > 0:21:45Pronounced him a pansy, a pinko A punk rocker and a poof
0:21:45 > 0:21:47They punched him, poked him up Pummelled his pelvis
0:21:47 > 0:21:48Punctured his pipes
0:21:48 > 0:21:50Played ping-pong with his pubic parts
0:21:50 > 0:21:53And packed him in a place of penal putrefaction
0:21:53 > 0:21:57He pondered upon progressive politics, put pen to paper
0:21:57 > 0:22:00And provocatively and persuasively
0:22:00 > 0:22:02Propagated his personal, political premise
0:22:02 > 0:22:07Pity, a police provocateur put poison pellets in the pest's porridge
0:22:07 > 0:22:09The police provocateur was promoted
0:22:09 > 0:22:14And the pest was presented with the Pulitzer Peace Prize, posthumously.
0:22:14 > 0:22:17APPLAUSE
0:22:23 > 0:22:26John Cooper Clarke here, this is a pre-recorded show here,
0:22:26 > 0:22:27in lieu of Jarvis Cocker,
0:22:27 > 0:22:29who is still away on holiday.
0:22:29 > 0:22:32He did very well, I was a bit worried, actually,
0:22:32 > 0:22:35cos he seemed to get a very good reaction from the listeners,
0:22:35 > 0:22:38and so I thought, "Oh, I might be out of a job."
0:22:38 > 0:22:40Staying with the poetry,
0:22:40 > 0:22:43this is a guy called Al Hutchings from Birmingham,
0:22:43 > 0:22:45the capital of all failed seaside towns.
0:22:45 > 0:22:51# Put down their needles and their knitting
0:22:51 > 0:22:54# At the doorway to our dismal, daily lives... #
0:22:54 > 0:22:56Rabid Records signed John up,
0:22:56 > 0:23:01and he was very much the leader of the field, of one.
0:23:01 > 0:23:04He was doing something that no-one else was doing and therefore,
0:23:04 > 0:23:05Maurice Oberstein,
0:23:05 > 0:23:08what was then CBS, thought they should have somebody like that.
0:23:08 > 0:23:11It was important, in a way, that John Cooper Clarke
0:23:11 > 0:23:12did exactly the opposite
0:23:12 > 0:23:15to what Tony Wilson would have said was the thing you did,
0:23:15 > 0:23:16and signed to a major label.
0:23:16 > 0:23:19He did the Clash thing, and he signed to CBS.
0:23:19 > 0:23:22At the time, it was spectacular, and part of the whole myth,
0:23:22 > 0:23:24that John Cooper Clarke would be on the same label
0:23:24 > 0:23:25as Meatloaf and Judas Priest.
0:23:25 > 0:23:30# The windows are frigid They're icebergs
0:23:30 > 0:23:33# Frozen in prickly heat
0:23:33 > 0:23:39# The vanishing cream victims are drip-fed amnesia neat... #
0:23:39 > 0:23:43I don't think that John would have achieved,
0:23:43 > 0:23:44in becoming popular,
0:23:44 > 0:23:48without the music aspect of it,
0:23:48 > 0:23:51without making him, sort of, a recording artist
0:23:51 > 0:23:53with some music in the background.
0:23:53 > 0:23:56Did the music really need to be so complicated?
0:23:56 > 0:24:00No, I think Martin Hannett over-complicated everything
0:24:00 > 0:24:03that he ever got involved in recording.
0:24:10 > 0:24:13Martin Hannett, who Tony Wilson would rightly say
0:24:13 > 0:24:15was the greatest producer
0:24:15 > 0:24:17of his generation on the planet, not just Manchester,
0:24:17 > 0:24:18he would use John Cooper Clarke
0:24:18 > 0:24:21as a, sort of, source of research and development.
0:24:21 > 0:24:24Through Martin Hannett, who I was a mate of,
0:24:24 > 0:24:28he got me to play with John on The Old Grey Whistle Test,
0:24:28 > 0:24:29twice, I think.
0:24:29 > 0:24:33Martin had this concept of the Invisible Girls,
0:24:33 > 0:24:35which, I think, was going to be some kind of super group.
0:24:35 > 0:24:39A group of very disparate, strange musicians
0:24:39 > 0:24:43who hadn't really worked with each other ever before.
0:24:43 > 0:24:47And this music, which was kind of a nebulous, to say the least.
0:24:47 > 0:24:50It all came together under Martin's guidance.
0:24:50 > 0:24:54The idea was collect a load of people together, um,
0:24:54 > 0:24:56control them in the studio.
0:24:56 > 0:25:00Anarchic times, musically, because, at the time,
0:25:00 > 0:25:04electronic music was still a burgeoning idea.
0:25:04 > 0:25:06# In the Latin quarter of the ideal home,
0:25:06 > 0:25:08# Fucks all day and sleeps alone. #
0:25:12 > 0:25:14# Just a tiger rug and a telephone
0:25:14 > 0:25:17# Says a post-war glamour girl's never alone.
0:25:20 > 0:25:23# In the seventh heaven on the 13th floor
0:25:23 > 0:25:25# Sweethearts, counterparts kiss
0:25:25 > 0:25:29# Limbo dancers under the door where the human dynamo's pissed
0:25:29 > 0:25:31# Adults only over her pubes
0:25:31 > 0:25:33# Debutantes they give her... #
0:25:35 > 0:25:39I came in as an Invisible Girl on one or two sessions,
0:25:39 > 0:25:41but that was the nature of working with Martin Hannett.
0:25:41 > 0:25:42You'd record stuff,
0:25:42 > 0:25:45and whether or not it ended up in the mix was anybody's guess.
0:25:45 > 0:25:50Martin Hannett fucked about with it for days and weeks and months on end,
0:25:50 > 0:25:54and made something, I don't know what he did, I've no idea.
0:25:54 > 0:25:55What did I do?
0:25:55 > 0:25:58I just said, "Yeah, see what happens," you know what I mean?
0:25:58 > 0:26:02I didn't have any big ideas about poetry and music, you know.
0:26:02 > 0:26:05Music and poetry, music, music, poetry, music,
0:26:05 > 0:26:11all blended in like that, and I think it's inescapable.
0:26:11 > 0:26:13It's inescapable.
0:26:13 > 0:26:17I always liked that thing of putting spoken word to music,
0:26:17 > 0:26:22and I think those records that he did really stand the test of time,
0:26:22 > 0:26:24I really like the, you know...
0:26:25 > 0:26:29..there's something, I don't know, the backing's not obvious on them.
0:26:29 > 0:26:31The good thing about it, in many ways,
0:26:31 > 0:26:34it kind of slowed his delivery of the poem down,
0:26:34 > 0:26:36which meant that you could actually hear
0:26:36 > 0:26:39some of the words sometimes, you know.
0:26:39 > 0:26:40And I quite like that.
0:26:40 > 0:26:42But I thought Chickentown was brilliant to music,
0:26:42 > 0:26:45that, kind of, drumming thing.
0:26:47 > 0:26:50# The bloody cops are bloody keen To bloody keep it bloody clean
0:26:50 > 0:26:53# The bloody chief's a bloody swine who bloody draws a bloody line
0:26:53 > 0:26:55# At bloody fun and bloody games the bloody kids he bloody blames
0:26:55 > 0:26:58# Are nowhere to be bloody found Anywhere in Chickentown. #
0:27:00 > 0:27:03My personal belief is that he didn't need to do it.
0:27:04 > 0:27:08It's that his words are musical enough.
0:27:08 > 0:27:11Do you see yourself as a singer, or do you see yourself as a poet?
0:27:11 > 0:27:12As a poet really.
0:27:14 > 0:27:17With, uh, that certain...
0:27:18 > 0:27:22..melodic, uh...
0:27:22 > 0:27:24content.
0:27:24 > 0:27:28It makes explicit the rhythms that are implicit in the poems,
0:27:28 > 0:27:32which seems a shame, because it's nice to let the listener work it out
0:27:32 > 0:27:33for themselves, I think.
0:27:33 > 0:27:36And also, there's just something about the drum sound
0:27:36 > 0:27:38and the production on some of those records
0:27:38 > 0:27:40that really fixes it in time.
0:27:40 > 0:27:43# I fell in love with an alien being
0:27:43 > 0:27:47# Whose skin was jelly, Whose teeth were green... #
0:27:47 > 0:27:50I wouldn't like to think of the world without
0:27:50 > 0:27:53I Married a Monster From Outer Space.
0:27:53 > 0:27:57It's my favourite record, I used to play it at parties all the time.
0:27:57 > 0:27:58Not only the sound,
0:27:58 > 0:28:01but the fact that it was bright orange and triangular,
0:28:01 > 0:28:03so it was a pain in the arse,
0:28:03 > 0:28:05cos you couldn't keep it with your singles,
0:28:05 > 0:28:10and it was too small, used to end up lost between your LPs.
0:28:10 > 0:28:11Lots of kids in places
0:28:11 > 0:28:15like Liverpool and Manchester and Newcastle
0:28:15 > 0:28:20had this beat poet artefact on the shelves of a walnut radiogram,
0:28:20 > 0:28:22their mum's and dad's walnut radiogram,
0:28:22 > 0:28:24it's just a fantastic clash.
0:28:24 > 0:28:27It's taken something from the avant garde
0:28:27 > 0:28:29right into the living rooms of the late '70s.
0:28:29 > 0:28:32We took them for granted, a little bit, at the time, I think.
0:28:32 > 0:28:35The greatest pieces of English poetry put out on record,
0:28:35 > 0:28:38alongside the ones by John Betjeman and TS Eliot.
0:28:38 > 0:28:42You know, they are these amazing documents of a poetic mind.
0:28:42 > 0:28:46Clarke, he was lucky because he was at that period
0:28:46 > 0:28:49where record companies would, like,
0:28:49 > 0:28:51"I'll tell you what we'll do, we'll give you an advance,
0:28:51 > 0:28:55"we'll put you in a studio, we'll give you money for publishing,
0:28:55 > 0:28:57"and, you know, you just go away and do something
0:28:57 > 0:28:59"and come back with the result."
0:28:59 > 0:29:04I think the party atmosphere, as a sort of...
0:29:04 > 0:29:06the money continued to roll in...
0:29:07 > 0:29:11..um, I think it was just spent,
0:29:11 > 0:29:14and no-one really thought about tomorrow.
0:29:14 > 0:29:16There were lots of other people at the party,
0:29:16 > 0:29:19but really, the party cost John the most money, didn't it?
0:29:19 > 0:29:22I suppose, if he'd have had that money,
0:29:22 > 0:29:24considering what he'd been up to at the time,
0:29:24 > 0:29:26he might have just been dead like Martin, mightn't he?
0:29:26 > 0:29:29I mean, I was taking drugs by then,
0:29:29 > 0:29:34and I was either preoccupied with getting them or I was unwell,
0:29:34 > 0:29:38or, you know, I was never really, always, entirely in the room.
0:29:38 > 0:29:41Yeah, I mean, when we went to Australia with John,
0:29:41 > 0:29:47he was in the grips of, shall we say, a rather destructive addiction.
0:29:47 > 0:29:51And he'd got in with some skinheads that were dealing them up,
0:29:51 > 0:29:54and they owed the skinheads more than they had,
0:29:54 > 0:29:58and I remember being told that we were leaving John in New Zealand,
0:29:58 > 0:30:01because he had to carry on working,
0:30:01 > 0:30:04and that was literally one of the last times I saw him,
0:30:04 > 0:30:07it was quite a sad affair, actually.
0:30:07 > 0:30:10All through the '80s, which were lean years for me,
0:30:10 > 0:30:13I was living a very sort of...
0:30:13 > 0:30:17Well, it was a very feral existence at the time. Sort of...
0:30:18 > 0:30:20Just hand to mouth, really.
0:30:20 > 0:30:24I always needed money for drugs, so I always had to do the gig.
0:30:24 > 0:30:27He came on stage and he was clearly out of it,
0:30:27 > 0:30:30and he kind of grabbed the microphone and he sort of
0:30:30 > 0:30:34rocked backwards and forwards and you could see he was struggling
0:30:34 > 0:30:40to try and find the words, like the first word of the first poem.
0:30:40 > 0:30:42Minutes were sort of ticking by.
0:30:42 > 0:30:46I was thinking, "My God, is he actually going to be able to start?"
0:30:46 > 0:30:49And then he just suddenly, something clicked,
0:30:49 > 0:30:53and he was off and he went into Chickentown and it was, you know,
0:30:53 > 0:30:58full force intense performance, but just that moment before it,
0:30:58 > 0:31:01I thought, "He doesn't know where he is or what the first word is."
0:31:01 > 0:31:07What was it? First, it's fun, then it isn't, then it's hell.
0:31:07 > 0:31:10I can't really think of anything to add to that story.
0:31:10 > 0:31:14It seems to be the time-worn trajectory.
0:31:14 > 0:31:18I was doing it for a long, long time. Seemed like a lifetime of it.
0:31:18 > 0:31:20When I talked to him
0:31:20 > 0:31:24about what we might call the Lost Years, he did regret that.
0:31:24 > 0:31:26What he said to me was there are plenty of people
0:31:26 > 0:31:29who had a heroin habit who carried on producing work.
0:31:29 > 0:31:31For him, that didn't happen.
0:31:31 > 0:31:33There were times when he wasn't producing work
0:31:33 > 0:31:36and I think maybe he regrets that now.
0:31:36 > 0:31:39And I thought... I felt sorry about that.
0:31:39 > 0:31:44It's a tedious life. It's a tedious and narrow life.
0:31:44 > 0:31:46But while you're in it,
0:31:46 > 0:31:51it's not tedious cos you've always got something to do.
0:31:52 > 0:31:54Get the money.
0:31:54 > 0:31:59Get the... Find out where it is. Wasn't always around.
0:31:59 > 0:32:03God, bloody hell, you know. No wonder I didn't write nowt.
0:32:14 > 0:32:18# Quite a party we have found... #
0:32:18 > 0:32:21I would next come across Johnny Clarke at that point,
0:32:21 > 0:32:23living in a flat with Nico.
0:32:23 > 0:32:25He had this long relationship with Nico,
0:32:25 > 0:32:30from the Velvet Underground, whose life ended very sadly
0:32:30 > 0:32:33and fanboys and journalists would want to know about that
0:32:33 > 0:32:36and he never says anything about it because he's a gentleman.
0:32:36 > 0:32:39John didn't have a relationship with Nico at all.
0:32:39 > 0:32:42It was made up by me, just to be mischievous.
0:32:42 > 0:32:45I planted a few stories. That's all it was. There was nothing in it.
0:32:45 > 0:32:50Nico was my friend, originally. I met her in Manchester.
0:32:50 > 0:32:53She met John through me, but she got on with John and, of course,
0:32:53 > 0:32:58they had something in common, hiding heroin from each other.
0:32:58 > 0:33:00And she liked John. He was funny to her.
0:33:00 > 0:33:03She had no sense of humour, but she thought John was funny.
0:33:03 > 0:33:06She moved into my flat for a while.
0:33:06 > 0:33:10I'd already known her a bit when she lived in Manchester, in Sedgley Park.
0:33:10 > 0:33:14That was purely, you know, just a cohabitational deal.
0:33:14 > 0:33:18We had John Cale living in the gaff at Brixton for a while as well,
0:33:18 > 0:33:23yeah, when he was producing one of Nico's albums.
0:33:23 > 0:33:25So that was quite...
0:33:25 > 0:33:30Imagine that, having two-fifths of the Velvet Underground in your gaff.
0:33:30 > 0:33:33I don't think there's any pictures. There might be.
0:33:33 > 0:33:36I found one the other day. It was me, Nick King
0:33:36 > 0:33:41and Tom Waits with Billy Connolly in the background.
0:33:41 > 0:33:43You're asking me to remember things.
0:33:43 > 0:33:47Everybody's been asking for years, "Have you ever met Tom Waits?" No.
0:33:47 > 0:33:51For years I've been saying I never met Tom. I'm a massive fan.
0:33:51 > 0:33:52I don't remember meeting him.
0:33:52 > 0:33:56God, drugs, eh? That's the trouble, they're indiscriminate.
0:33:56 > 0:34:01The good memories go with the fucking shit you're trying to block out!
0:34:01 > 0:34:05Well, it was chaos. Everyone came round to visit everyone.
0:34:05 > 0:34:09Nico had a fanbase who used to come and visit her.
0:34:09 > 0:34:13Some famous, some not famous. John was there. He had a fanbase.
0:34:13 > 0:34:15Used to come round.
0:34:15 > 0:34:18The kids were in paradise, they came round and they got John
0:34:18 > 0:34:20and they got Nico.
0:34:20 > 0:34:24We were trying to live there. There were people visiting day and night.
0:34:24 > 0:34:28John was up to all sorts of foul tricks at that time.
0:34:28 > 0:34:32Things can only get worse.
0:34:32 > 0:34:35That's all you can really say about that shit...
0:34:35 > 0:34:42about serious dope use, is that things can only get worse.
0:34:42 > 0:34:48I mean, he did probably take his life to the limits, but I think
0:34:48 > 0:34:52he's got through it all now and we're all very happy about that.
0:34:52 > 0:34:55It was with great joy that I gradually
0:34:55 > 0:35:00watched his re-emergence, not only as some kind of greatest hits
0:35:00 > 0:35:05retro act, but as a working poet, observing the world around him
0:35:05 > 0:35:08and bringing it into play in his work.
0:35:08 > 0:35:12I was writing as I was thinking about it. Dignified, you know.
0:35:12 > 0:35:16You're at the bottom of Lake Zurich in a fucking vase.
0:35:16 > 0:35:20Fucking...! I'd rather dribble out the corners of me mouth.
0:35:20 > 0:35:25In fact, if you see me going into a vegetative state, right,
0:35:25 > 0:35:27I've been there before.
0:35:27 > 0:35:31It's not that bad. Don't go making assumptions.
0:35:31 > 0:35:34"Oh, he's dribbling out the corner of his mouth.
0:35:34 > 0:35:37"We'd better kill him. He was a very proud man."
0:35:37 > 0:35:38Things Are Gonna Get Worse.
0:35:39 > 0:35:43What me worry, what me care? Shit for brains, wire for hair
0:35:43 > 0:35:47I've seen the future and I ain't there, things are gonna get worse
0:35:47 > 0:35:49Velcro slippers and a spandex waistband
0:35:49 > 0:35:53Washed up on planet wasteland Zips up like a nylon spaceman
0:35:53 > 0:35:55Things are gonna get worse
0:35:55 > 0:35:58Things are gonna get worse, nurse Things are going to get rotten
0:35:58 > 0:36:00Make that hearse reverse, nurse
0:36:00 > 0:36:03I'm trying to remember everything I've forgotten
0:36:03 > 0:36:05A menace in the box I was good in the air
0:36:05 > 0:36:07Now I can't get up from an easy chair
0:36:07 > 0:36:10The doctor told me "Oh, yeah, things are gonna get worse"
0:36:10 > 0:36:14Things are gonna get worse, nurse Things are gonna get crappy
0:36:14 > 0:36:18Colour me perverse, nurse Bad news always makes me happy
0:36:18 > 0:36:21The money's gone There's just the muck
0:36:21 > 0:36:23Social Services pass the buck
0:36:23 > 0:36:26How bad does it have to suck? Things are going to get worse
0:36:26 > 0:36:30Things are gonna get worse, nurse Things are gonna get dismal
0:36:30 > 0:36:33Smite me with a curse, nurse Make it something real abysmal
0:36:33 > 0:36:35All that's left is the taste of soup
0:36:35 > 0:36:40Afternoon reruns of Betty Boop and painful frame with a built in stoop
0:36:40 > 0:36:43Things are gonna get worse Things are gonna get worse, nurse
0:36:43 > 0:36:45I ain't optimistic
0:36:45 > 0:36:47I got a mouth like a purse, nurse
0:36:47 > 0:36:50And a bungalow smelling of piss and biscuits
0:36:50 > 0:36:55Life's a bitch, it's a bit rich Doubled up with a permanent stitch
0:36:55 > 0:36:57Any kind of effort Will be so last ditch
0:36:57 > 0:36:58Things are gonna get worse
0:36:58 > 0:37:02Young people make me swear You can't take me anywhere
0:37:02 > 0:37:06I've like a breath of stale air A walking one-man medical scare
0:37:06 > 0:37:10Things are gonna get worse Things are gonna get worse, nurse
0:37:10 > 0:37:14Murder by statistics Take us back to the first verse
0:37:14 > 0:37:18The last one's just too pessimistic Euthanasia, that sounds good
0:37:18 > 0:37:20An Alpine neutral neighbourhood
0:37:20 > 0:37:23Then back to Britain all dressed in wood
0:37:23 > 0:37:24Things were gonna get worse.
0:37:24 > 0:37:26Thank you very much.
0:37:26 > 0:37:29CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:37:29 > 0:37:32That's a newish one. Thank you very much.
0:37:32 > 0:37:36He tells that story himself, where he kind of kicked the smack
0:37:36 > 0:37:40and he was paper thin and walking through Manchester
0:37:40 > 0:37:42and someone shouted,
0:37:42 > 0:37:47"Oi, Clarkey! Get back on the smack, you fat bastard!"
0:37:47 > 0:37:48I don't know what...
0:37:48 > 0:37:52I didn't sort of say, "I'm going to quit using and start writing again!"
0:37:52 > 0:37:54It was nothing like that.
0:37:54 > 0:37:57I quit using, then I still didn't write for fucking ages.
0:37:57 > 0:38:01I just lost the knack. Just atrophied inside of me.
0:38:01 > 0:38:07The ability to think poetically about fucking anything, you know.
0:38:07 > 0:38:11Years after I cleaned up, I had to force myself to write shit.
0:38:11 > 0:38:14And I'd come up with something that was half good,
0:38:14 > 0:38:17on top of a pile of rubbish.
0:38:17 > 0:38:20It'd be like, "No, I've fucking lost it!"
0:38:20 > 0:38:23It was feeding into this loser idea of myself.
0:38:23 > 0:38:25I thought, "Yeah, you can lose it."
0:38:25 > 0:38:27And now I know, yeah, you can lose it.
0:38:27 > 0:38:30That's why I don't analyse it now.
0:38:30 > 0:38:34If I analyse it, I think I'd lose it and then I'd never get it back again.
0:38:34 > 0:38:36I don't want to lose it ever again.
0:38:36 > 0:38:39Now, I'm just all the time, writing shit down.
0:38:39 > 0:38:42I won't let a line pass me by.
0:38:42 > 0:38:46Where does a poem come from? Why do it at all? I never think about it.
0:38:46 > 0:38:48It's a superstition, I'm sure -
0:38:48 > 0:38:52the idea that if you analyse something, it will disintegrate.
0:38:52 > 0:38:57So now, I'm very superstitious about even thinking about...
0:38:57 > 0:39:04I mean, why poetry? Why any of it? Like all art, it's utterly useless.
0:39:04 > 0:39:07It is fucking useless. That's the beauty of it. It's a luxury.
0:39:07 > 0:39:10It's a luxury.
0:39:10 > 0:39:12Sometimes, it's like I've got this line
0:39:12 > 0:39:15but I can't find anything to do with it.
0:39:15 > 0:39:17I've got to get it in somewhere.
0:39:17 > 0:39:23So you write a poem, just to justify the use of one good line.
0:39:23 > 0:39:24This line's great.
0:39:24 > 0:39:29It'll just get forgotten about, if I don't write something around it.
0:39:29 > 0:39:34I've books full of...one lines. Like one there.
0:39:34 > 0:39:39Stacks of books with just lines that are out of movies.
0:39:39 > 0:39:42Old lines that I've absolutely made up.
0:39:42 > 0:39:47Lines that I've paraphrased from cartoons or something.
0:39:47 > 0:39:53Cos I rhyme things, my preoccupation is with technique. The craft of it.
0:39:53 > 0:39:58How best to put this, so that it supplies this rhyme.
0:39:58 > 0:40:01In between those two rhyming words,
0:40:01 > 0:40:06that's your imagination coming in to play.
0:40:06 > 0:40:10It's never like how you feel.
0:40:10 > 0:40:12I get people come up to me all the time,
0:40:12 > 0:40:15"I only write when I'm depressed."
0:40:15 > 0:40:19Well, good luck to you then, you know what I mean?
0:40:19 > 0:40:23I hope you never get a career in writing then, really!
0:40:23 > 0:40:27It's the only reaction you can give, you know what I mean?
0:40:27 > 0:40:29Stay away from it!
0:40:32 > 0:40:34'Ladies and gentlemen,
0:40:34 > 0:40:38please welcome to the stage, John Cooper Clarke.'
0:40:38 > 0:40:40CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
0:40:44 > 0:40:45Hello there.
0:40:45 > 0:40:49# We're not too young, young to get married
0:40:49 > 0:40:53# Not too young, young to get married. #
0:40:53 > 0:40:56I hadn't thought about Johnny Clarke for a very long time
0:40:56 > 0:41:00until one day, my son brought home a copy of Beasley Street
0:41:00 > 0:41:06which had been given to him by his English teacher in Year 11.
0:41:06 > 0:41:09When I first started teaching, the National Curriculum didn't exist,
0:41:09 > 0:41:15so for a whole generation of English teachers, it was really unsavoury
0:41:15 > 0:41:19to have anybody telling us what we ought to teach.
0:41:19 > 0:41:23So really, the biggest compromise was trying to find some writers
0:41:23 > 0:41:25that we wanted to teach
0:41:25 > 0:41:29who fitted in with what we were being told we had to teach.
0:41:29 > 0:41:33So we chose him because we thought it was very rhythmically strong,
0:41:33 > 0:41:34it was quite hard edged,
0:41:34 > 0:41:40it was very witty and we knew that kids would enjoy it.
0:41:40 > 0:41:45Let me be your vacuum cleaner Breathing in your dust
0:41:45 > 0:41:49Let me be your Ford Cortina I will never rust
0:41:49 > 0:41:55If you like your coffee hot Let me be your coffee pot
0:41:55 > 0:41:59You call the shots I wanna be yours.
0:41:59 > 0:42:05I was sort of your typical teenager, like not...
0:42:05 > 0:42:09Sort of trying to be cool and not interested.
0:42:09 > 0:42:12Our teacher proceeded to read I Wanna Be Yours,
0:42:12 > 0:42:15doing an impression of Johnny.
0:42:15 > 0:42:18That was what made me ears prick up in the classroom
0:42:18 > 0:42:21cos it was nothing like anything I'd heard,
0:42:21 > 0:42:24especially like on this syllabus.
0:42:24 > 0:42:29Let me be your raincoat For those frequent rainy days
0:42:29 > 0:42:33Let me be your dreamboat When you want to sail away
0:42:33 > 0:42:36Let me be your teddy bear Take me with you anywhere
0:42:36 > 0:42:40I don't care, I wanna be yours.
0:42:40 > 0:42:43Those two emotions are incredibly important
0:42:43 > 0:42:47when you're that age, love and hate. that's how you live your life,
0:42:47 > 0:42:49swinging from one to the other.
0:42:49 > 0:42:52To have John Cooper Clarke define those for you,
0:42:52 > 0:42:54what else do you want? I think that's great.
0:42:54 > 0:43:00Let me be your electric meter I will not run out
0:43:00 > 0:43:06Let me be the electric heater You'd get pneumonia without
0:43:06 > 0:43:12Let me be your setting lotion Hold your hair with deep devotion
0:43:12 > 0:43:15Deep as the deep Atlantic Ocean
0:43:15 > 0:43:19I don't wanna be hers, I wanna be yours.
0:43:19 > 0:43:21CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
0:43:23 > 0:43:27I think John's one of those people that does tell young writers,
0:43:27 > 0:43:29you can do it.
0:43:29 > 0:43:31If you work hard, if you're original,
0:43:31 > 0:43:34if you've got something to say, you can do it.
0:43:34 > 0:43:38# You said I must eat so many lemons, cos I am so bitter... #
0:43:38 > 0:43:42Before, I'd always been kind of scared of songwriting
0:43:42 > 0:43:47and it was bands like The Buzzcocks and people like John Cooper Clarke,
0:43:47 > 0:43:51those kind of writers that are super smart, really intelligent,
0:43:51 > 0:43:53but so gritty and down to earth and real
0:43:53 > 0:43:56and there's nothing that's telling you
0:43:56 > 0:43:58that you can't do the same thing.
0:43:58 > 0:44:00You feel like once you've heard it,
0:44:00 > 0:44:02you can go and try and write something and try
0:44:02 > 0:44:07and do your own interpretation of that same kind of movement.
0:44:07 > 0:44:09He's got that thick sort of accent,
0:44:09 > 0:44:13but with him, it seems like that knob's turned right up.
0:44:13 > 0:44:17Oh, right, yeah. He's doing that and getting away with it.
0:44:17 > 0:44:20I can start singing in my accent.
0:44:20 > 0:44:24Took me a few more years to get into the drainpipes, though.
0:44:24 > 0:44:27# Last night, these two bouncers and one of them's all right
0:44:27 > 0:44:31# The other one's the scary and his way or no way, totalitarian
0:44:31 > 0:44:33# He's got no time for ya... #
0:44:33 > 0:44:37There's this song From The Ritz To The Rubble on our first record,
0:44:37 > 0:44:41which is like a Johnny Clarke poem, I suppose.
0:44:41 > 0:44:43My best shot at it, at least.
0:44:43 > 0:44:45Had I not seen him to do his thing,
0:44:45 > 0:44:47you wouldn't have started writing like that
0:44:47 > 0:44:49and just the amount of words
0:44:49 > 0:44:51that I think are in some of those early songs.
0:44:51 > 0:44:52# He's got a hoodie, give him a hug,
0:44:52 > 0:44:54# On second thoughts You don't want to get mugged
0:44:54 > 0:44:58# Oh, shit, too late, that was kinda dumb, who's idea was that? #
0:44:58 > 0:45:04I was watching Sopranos and Chickentown came on at the end.
0:45:04 > 0:45:07I was like, "Wow! That's some fucked up flow, my man's got there!"
0:45:07 > 0:45:11I had to google the lyrics, Evidently Chickentown,
0:45:11 > 0:45:16and then John Cooper Clarke came up and then found a video on YouTube.
0:45:16 > 0:45:18So I was a fan since then.
0:45:18 > 0:45:19I love to do this number
0:45:19 > 0:45:22because it was on the penultimate episode of the Sopranos.
0:45:22 > 0:45:28And so who's the Don? Da capo di tutti capi of the written word!
0:45:28 > 0:45:32That's me! Oh, yeah. I'm very proud of that, ladies and gentlemen.
0:45:32 > 0:45:35Also, the reason I like to do it in public
0:45:35 > 0:45:38is because I can't do on the telly.
0:45:38 > 0:45:40The last time I attempted to do this one on TV,
0:45:40 > 0:45:45the beep operators sued for repetitive strain injury!
0:45:45 > 0:45:47Evidently Chickentown.
0:45:49 > 0:45:53The fucking cops are fucking keen to fucking keep it fucking clean
0:45:53 > 0:45:55The fucking chief's a fucking swine who fucking draws the fucking line
0:45:55 > 0:45:57At fucking fun and fucking games
0:45:57 > 0:45:59The fucking kids he fucking blames are nowhere to be fucking found
0:45:59 > 0:46:00Anywhere in Chickentown
0:46:00 > 0:46:03The fucking train is fucking late You fucking wait and fucking wait
0:46:03 > 0:46:06Fucking lost, fucking found stuck in fucking Chickentown
0:46:06 > 0:46:09The fucking scene is fucking sad The fucking news is fucking bad
0:46:09 > 0:46:11The fucking weed is fucking turf The fucking speed is fucking surf
0:46:11 > 0:46:15The fucking jokes are fucking daft Don't make me fucking laugh
0:46:15 > 0:46:17It fucking hurts to look around Anywhere in Chickentown
0:46:17 > 0:46:18Fucking train, fucking late
0:46:18 > 0:46:21Fucking wait, fucking wait Fucking lost, fucking found
0:46:21 > 0:46:22Stuck in fucking Chickentown
0:46:22 > 0:46:25The fucking view is fucking vile For fucking miles and fucking miles
0:46:25 > 0:46:28The fucking babies fucking cry The fucking flowers fucking die
0:46:28 > 0:46:31The fucking food is fucking muck The fucking drains are fucking fucked
0:46:31 > 0:46:34The colour scheme is fucking brown Everywhere in Chickentown
0:46:34 > 0:46:35Fucking train, fucking late
0:46:35 > 0:46:38Fucking wait, fucking wait Fucking lost, fucking found
0:46:38 > 0:46:39Stuck in fucking Chickentown
0:46:39 > 0:46:41The fucking pubs are fucking dull The fucking clubs are fucking full
0:46:41 > 0:46:45The fucking girls with fucking guys With fucking murder in their eyes
0:46:45 > 0:46:48A fucking bloke gets fucking stabbed Waiting for a fucking kebab
0:46:48 > 0:46:51You fucking stay at fucking home The fucking neighbours fucking moan
0:46:51 > 0:46:53Keep the fucking racket down
0:46:53 > 0:46:54Fucking Chickentown, fucking train
0:46:54 > 0:46:57Fucking late, fucking wait and wait Fucking lost, fucking found
0:46:57 > 0:46:59Stuck in fucking Chickentown
0:46:59 > 0:47:01The fucking fish are fucking old The fucking chips are fucking cold
0:47:01 > 0:47:04The fucking beer is fucking flat The fucking flat's had fucking rats
0:47:04 > 0:47:07The fucking clocks are fucking wrong The fucking days are fucking long
0:47:07 > 0:47:11It fucking gets you fucking down Evidently Chickentown.
0:47:11 > 0:47:15Thanks for listening. Good night, God bless. Thank you.
0:47:15 > 0:47:19I asked John to appear in my film and write something
0:47:19 > 0:47:21especially for my film.
0:47:21 > 0:47:26Pity the plight of young fellows Too long a bed with no sleep
0:47:26 > 0:47:28With their complex romantic attachments
0:47:28 > 0:47:31Look on their sorrows and weep
0:47:31 > 0:47:35They don't get a moment's reflection There's always a crowd in their eye
0:47:37 > 0:47:42Pity the plight of young fellows Regard all their worries and cry.
0:47:42 > 0:47:43Where people get it wrong,
0:47:43 > 0:47:46where rappers get it wrong is they try and sound American,
0:47:46 > 0:47:50or they try and sound like they're form London when they're not.
0:47:50 > 0:47:53I just heard him and he was just pure Northern dialect.
0:47:53 > 0:47:58It was great cos it had humour and wordplay and everything.
0:47:59 > 0:48:04And for me, all I've got hear is one song from someone
0:48:04 > 0:48:08or one piece of work and if I like it enough, I'm hooked.
0:48:08 > 0:48:11I've been a fan of John's since I heard Chickentown
0:48:11 > 0:48:14and it was just great to meet him and even better to know
0:48:14 > 0:48:18that he'd heard of me and that he had mutual respect for me.
0:48:19 > 0:48:23Children are the future, unless we stop 'em now!
0:48:25 > 0:48:29'You know, I sort of thought I was very much part of a period
0:48:29 > 0:48:33'and anybody that was interested in my stuff'
0:48:33 > 0:48:34was about the same age as me.
0:48:34 > 0:48:38Imagine the depression of looking out
0:48:38 > 0:48:42and seeing people your own age out there when you're my age.
0:48:42 > 0:48:46Good Christ! It would be like a Saga holiday or something!
0:48:46 > 0:48:50But now I've got this whole new wave of young fans, which is...
0:48:50 > 0:48:53It's great, fabulous.
0:48:53 > 0:48:56Yeah, I'm glad they're interested.
0:48:56 > 0:49:00'I've just received nine questions from Snicky.
0:49:01 > 0:49:05'Can I recall the very first piece I wrote? No. At what age? No.
0:49:05 > 0:49:08'Subject matter? No. State of mind? No.
0:49:08 > 0:49:12'Time of day? No. The location? No.
0:49:12 > 0:49:16'The season and if I had a pet at the time and what its name was?
0:49:16 > 0:49:20'I could make up answers to these questions, Snicky,
0:49:20 > 0:49:23'but if I did, what do I get?'
0:49:23 > 0:49:24RAUCOUS MUSIC PLAYS
0:49:28 > 0:49:29Slick!
0:49:29 > 0:49:32# I just wanna a lover like any other, what do I get? #
0:49:32 > 0:49:35Favourite John Cooper Clarke poem?
0:49:35 > 0:49:37It's hard to think of one that isn't good,
0:49:37 > 0:49:40but Kung Fu International definitely springs to mind.
0:49:40 > 0:49:45- I really like Twat.- There's also I Married A Monster From Outer Space.
0:49:45 > 0:49:48Fuck me, A Monster From Outer Space!
0:49:48 > 0:49:52The poem that first really made me stand up and pay attention
0:49:52 > 0:49:54was Beasley Street.
0:49:54 > 0:49:57- My all time favourite's Beasley Street.- Beasley Street.
0:49:57 > 0:50:00- Beasley Street.- I love Beasley Street.- Beasley Street.
0:50:00 > 0:50:05- Everyone likes Beasley Street. - Just pictures of life in Salford
0:50:05 > 0:50:10and working class towns and they were so epic...
0:50:10 > 0:50:17and descriptive and powerful and it really touched me and moved me.
0:50:17 > 0:50:21It's almost kind of like a poetic Lowry painting of those times.
0:50:21 > 0:50:25It has as much atmosphere as that.
0:50:25 > 0:50:30John Cooper Clarke nailed it by talking about what was going wrong
0:50:30 > 0:50:34in these small forgotten working class northern communities.
0:50:34 > 0:50:37In the late '70s, early '80s, Liverpool, Manchester,
0:50:37 > 0:50:41we were devastated. Thatcher had ripped the heart out of everywhere.
0:50:41 > 0:50:46The south was doing very well and we were all living on Beasley Street.
0:50:46 > 0:50:48John didn't wait for the miners' strike
0:50:48 > 0:50:50to be told something wrong has happened here.
0:50:50 > 0:50:53He was in before a lot of us were in.
0:50:53 > 0:50:57# Far from crazy pavements
0:50:57 > 0:51:00# The taste of silver spoons
0:51:00 > 0:51:04# A clinical arrangement
0:51:04 > 0:51:06# On a dirty afternoon
0:51:08 > 0:51:12# The faecal germs of Mr Freud
0:51:12 > 0:51:15# Are rendered obsolete
0:51:16 > 0:51:22# The legal term is null and void in the case of Beasley Street
0:51:22 > 0:51:26The cheap seats, where murder breeds Somebody is out of breath
0:51:26 > 0:51:29Sleep is a luxury they don't need A sneak preview of death
0:51:29 > 0:51:32Deadly nightshade is your flower Manslaughter your meat
0:51:32 > 0:51:35Spend a year in a couple of hours On the edge of Beasley Street.
0:51:35 > 0:51:38# Where the action isn't
0:51:38 > 0:51:40# That's where it is
0:51:42 > 0:51:44# State your position
0:51:44 > 0:51:47# No vacancies exist
0:51:49 > 0:51:52# In an X certificate exercise
0:51:52 > 0:51:54# Ex-servicemen excrete
0:51:56 > 0:51:58# Keith Joseph smiles and a baby dies
0:51:58 > 0:52:03# In a box on Beasley Street. #
0:52:03 > 0:52:06In the boarding houses and the bedsits, full of accidents and fleas
0:52:06 > 0:52:09Somebody gets it where the missing persons freeze
0:52:09 > 0:52:12Wearing dead men's overcoats You can't see their feet
0:52:12 > 0:52:16This riff joint shuts, opens up Right down on Beasley Street...
0:52:16 > 0:52:19Cars collide, colours clash Disaster movie stuff
0:52:19 > 0:52:22For a man with a Fu Manchu moustache Revenge is not enough
0:52:22 > 0:52:24There's a dead canary on a swivel seat
0:52:24 > 0:52:26There's a rainbow in the road
0:52:26 > 0:52:29Meanwhile, on Beasley Street Silence is the mode
0:52:29 > 0:52:31It's hot beneath the collar An inspector calls
0:52:31 > 0:52:34The perishing stink of squalor impregnates the walls
0:52:34 > 0:52:37The rats have all got rickets They spit through broken teeth
0:52:37 > 0:52:41A blood stain is your ticket One way down Beasley Street...
0:52:41 > 0:52:44The hipster and his haircut drive a borrowed car
0:52:44 > 0:52:46He looks like the Duke of Edinburgh but not so la-di-dah
0:52:46 > 0:52:49OAP, mother to be, watch that three piece suite
0:52:49 > 0:52:51When shite catcher drains and crocodile skis
0:52:51 > 0:52:53Are seen on Beasley Street...
0:52:53 > 0:52:55The kingdom of the blind A one-eyed man is king.
0:52:55 > 0:52:58Beauty problems are redefined The doorbells do not ring
0:52:58 > 0:53:00Light bulbs burst like blisters
0:53:00 > 0:53:02The only form of heat Where a fellow sells his sister
0:53:02 > 0:53:04Down the middle of Beasley Street...
0:53:04 > 0:53:06The boys are on the wagon The girls are on the shelf.
0:53:06 > 0:53:09Their common problem is that they're not someone else
0:53:09 > 0:53:11The dirt blows out The dust blows in
0:53:11 > 0:53:12You can't keep it neat
0:53:12 > 0:53:16It's a fully furnished dustbin 16 Beasley Street.
0:53:16 > 0:53:19# People turn to poison
0:53:19 > 0:53:23# Quick as lager turns to piss
0:53:23 > 0:53:27# Sweethearts are physically sick
0:53:27 > 0:53:29# Every time they kiss
0:53:29 > 0:53:33It's a sociologist's paradise Each day repeats
0:53:33 > 0:53:37Uneasy, cheesy, breezy, queasy Beastly Beasley Street.
0:53:37 > 0:53:39CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
0:53:39 > 0:53:41Thank you very much.
0:53:46 > 0:53:47I was dying to ask the question
0:53:47 > 0:53:50I'm sure a lot of people are dying to ask him,
0:53:50 > 0:53:54"Where is Beasley Street?" He says, "It don't exist, Henry.
0:53:54 > 0:53:57"It just rhymes with cheesy and greasy!"
0:53:58 > 0:54:02'People who make a distinction between written poetry
0:54:02 > 0:54:04'and recited poetry
0:54:04 > 0:54:08'make a mistake, I think, because all poetry should be read aloud.
0:54:08 > 0:54:11'Our greatest poet wrote for actors. Shakespeare.
0:54:11 > 0:54:14'If you'd have said that people would be sitting in a room,
0:54:14 > 0:54:15'reading his stuff,
0:54:15 > 0:54:18'he would have been...amazed at that.
0:54:18 > 0:54:21'It was written for the mouths of actors.
0:54:21 > 0:54:23'It was meant to be heard.'
0:54:23 > 0:54:26Sounds all right to me.
0:54:26 > 0:54:28I guess that's it then.
0:54:30 > 0:54:33Here's the instructions for the sound guy.
0:54:33 > 0:54:37Turn on microphone, walk away.
0:54:38 > 0:54:42Think you can remember that?
0:54:42 > 0:54:46The fact he's now clean and still performing is fantastic.
0:54:46 > 0:54:48It's heart-warming to hear that.
0:54:48 > 0:54:51What's 'appenin'? It's gone off!
0:54:51 > 0:54:54- I switched it off. - You switched it off?
0:54:54 > 0:54:58Don't forget the instructions later. Switch on mic.
0:54:58 > 0:55:00Walk away.
0:55:01 > 0:55:03One of the things that goes before
0:55:03 > 0:55:05him is his inability to contact him.
0:55:05 > 0:55:07He's never had a phone.
0:55:07 > 0:55:10And before the days when mobile phones were popular,
0:55:10 > 0:55:11you had to phone his mam.
0:55:11 > 0:55:16I'm talking about in the early '90s, you had to call his mother.
0:55:16 > 0:55:18And she'd go round to his house and pass him a message.
0:55:18 > 0:55:22Not only have I not got a mobile phone, I haven't got a computer.
0:55:22 > 0:55:25I don't employ any artificial intelligence of any kind.
0:55:25 > 0:55:28People say to me, "You should have a computer."
0:55:28 > 0:55:31I said, "I know how fucking great they are.
0:55:31 > 0:55:34"That's the very reason I can't have one -
0:55:34 > 0:55:37"I'll just watch a bit of Dion & The Belmonts,
0:55:37 > 0:55:38"then I'll go out. Oh, no.
0:55:38 > 0:55:42"What was that Elvis film? Ooh, that reminds me, that Grace Kelly movie.
0:55:42 > 0:55:45"I'll just download this Marx Brothers clip."
0:55:45 > 0:55:48I'd never get out of the fucking house! I'd fucking die!
0:55:48 > 0:55:51You'd find me fucking dead with a pizza box,
0:55:51 > 0:55:54with me arse in the air and me pants round me ankles
0:55:54 > 0:55:58in front of a flickering fucking computer screen.
0:55:58 > 0:56:01"We bought him that computer and he never went out.
0:56:01 > 0:56:03"Never went through the fucking door.
0:56:03 > 0:56:07"The milk stopped being delivered and he fucking died."
0:56:07 > 0:56:09Something about John Cooper Clarke
0:56:09 > 0:56:12makes you realise he might survive the longest of all of us, actually.
0:56:12 > 0:56:16He might still be around the latter part of the 21st century.
0:56:16 > 0:56:19I get the feeling he was around in the 19th century.
0:56:19 > 0:56:21He's just a one-off, really.
0:56:21 > 0:56:24I've never seen or heard anything like that.
0:56:24 > 0:56:27You aren't going to get another one of them.
0:56:27 > 0:56:32He bridged a gap between poetry, comedy and punk music.
0:56:32 > 0:56:36He was a kind of unique figure in all of them.
0:56:36 > 0:56:40Inspiration to a generation of stand-up comics.
0:56:40 > 0:56:43Single-handedly invented an art form.
0:56:43 > 0:56:45No-one else was doing anything like what he was.
0:56:45 > 0:56:47He was on his own.
0:56:47 > 0:56:52Starting to look like Spinal Tap now! Rock n roll!
0:56:52 > 0:56:58He's a poet that I would like kids to realise is there for them
0:56:58 > 0:57:02because I think they're going to find him incredibly accessible.
0:57:02 > 0:57:07He's really funny, he's really witty, he's really memorable.
0:57:07 > 0:57:11- He's a national treasure. - An alternative national treasure.
0:57:11 > 0:57:12National treasure.
0:57:12 > 0:57:17I've always said, "John, if someone ever calls you a national treasure,
0:57:17 > 0:57:21"I'll want to smack them on the fucking nose!"
0:57:21 > 0:57:24- Five minutes.- Oh, right.
0:57:24 > 0:57:28"National treasure" sort of means you've been around long enough
0:57:28 > 0:57:31for people to have grown accustomed to you.
0:57:31 > 0:57:33And actually...
0:57:33 > 0:57:38John's better than a national treasure.
0:57:38 > 0:57:41He's part of the national furniture.
0:57:41 > 0:57:46In France, a sort of legendary arts figure like John Cooper Clarke
0:57:46 > 0:57:48would be awarded some kind of medal by the president
0:57:48 > 0:57:51and live somewhere and do whatever they want.
0:57:51 > 0:57:54The guy really was born to do it.
0:57:54 > 0:57:58What you see on stage, this guy coming out with this thing
0:57:58 > 0:58:01and you think - that is him!
0:58:01 > 0:58:06You know... And if it's not him, it's a damn good imitation!
0:58:07 > 0:58:12Should you require any further answers, consult your doctor.
0:58:12 > 0:58:16Go to bed, keep the room warm, but well ventilated.
0:58:21 > 0:58:24CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
0:58:31 > 0:58:34# Make a date with the brassy brides of Britain
0:58:34 > 0:58:38# The altogether ruder readers' wives
0:58:39 > 0:58:43# Who put down their needles and their knitting
0:58:43 > 0:58:46# At the doorway to our dismal daily lives
0:58:48 > 0:58:50# The fablon top scenarios of passion
0:58:50 > 0:58:54# Nipples peep through holes in leatherette... #
0:58:54 > 0:58:57Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd