:00:00. > :00:00.single women can be tough. She's spoken to single women across the
:00:00. > :00:10.country and uncovered some uncomfortable truths.
:00:11. > :00:17.More than ever, what it is to be a woman in India is in the spotlight.
:00:18. > :00:23.I have been reporting on my country for 12 years, but now, I am facing
:00:24. > :00:25.some fit difficult home truths. -- some difficult. As we treat single
:00:26. > :00:40.women as worthless. I feel absolutely ashamed. I don't
:00:41. > :00:42.have words to say on how I feel. Even India's new breed of
:00:43. > :00:48.empowered, single women are marginalised. Are you serious that
:00:49. > :00:52.moving out of the country will make things easier for your parents? I
:00:53. > :00:57.don't think about that because it would be easier to be away from
:00:58. > :01:02.everything. For some women come at a violent marriage is preferable to
:01:03. > :01:08.being single. She went back to her husband's place last weekend she
:01:09. > :01:15.badly beaten. The divorcee who is challenging India's attitude to life
:01:16. > :01:18.after marriage. You go to anyone and you tell them you are going through
:01:19. > :01:23.a divorce and they don't want to know about it. I want to find out
:01:24. > :01:31.how free women here are truly are to be single in modern India. -- here
:01:32. > :02:03.are Maugham by, the maximum city. --
:02:04. > :02:09.Mumbai. Nowhere epitomises new India like this place. More modern,
:02:10. > :02:14.cosmopolitan and prosperous than at any time in its history. Whether any
:02:15. > :02:22.of this is changing things for women in India is what I want to find
:02:23. > :02:32.out. I am starting by a meeting this woman. She is new India to the core.
:02:33. > :02:39.A digital marketing manager, she is educated, independent and single.
:02:40. > :02:48.Saturday night, party time. Where are we going? A happening place
:02:49. > :02:55.where I go. For a Saturday, it is a good base with good music. This
:02:56. > :03:02.group aren't all single, but most of us are. She is one of a small but
:03:03. > :03:09.growing number of women in India, single by choice, shunning the
:03:10. > :03:13.tradition of arranged marriage and, just short of her 28th birthday,
:03:14. > :03:28.older than the average age for marriage in India. I am going to
:03:29. > :03:32.introduce you to my people. I am keen to know how typical she is, and
:03:33. > :03:40.whether her friends support her choices. For a guy it is about 27
:03:41. > :03:47.and for a girl as early as 22. If a girl isn't married by 26, she is
:03:48. > :03:59.going off the market. I just entered the arranged market. The market. How
:04:00. > :04:04.does it look? It is a little intimidating. If you are past 24 or
:04:05. > :04:15.25, everyone is eyeing you. People wonder what is wrong with you. What
:04:16. > :04:23.do you say when they ask you ? I have a sensible answer, that I
:04:24. > :04:26.haven't found the right guy yet. I never forward the e-mail that says,
:04:27. > :04:32.if you forward your e-mail to ten people, you will find the right
:04:33. > :04:38.partner. I am married, so no one sends me those. For all the
:04:39. > :04:46.laughter, what is emerging is that she views the prospect of marriage
:04:47. > :04:50.very differently to her friends. Being practical, getting married to
:04:51. > :04:53.the wrong person is not practical. I think I am being practical by not
:04:54. > :05:00.getting involved in something I have noted idea about. I want to marry
:05:01. > :05:11.someone I am fond of. -- I have no idea. Suruchi is feeling the
:05:12. > :05:18.pressure from the Society, friends and others, as I found out to get
:05:19. > :05:22.married. Living in this country, I am aware there are implications to
:05:23. > :05:33.that pressure --society. . Finding a place to live is one of them. We are
:05:34. > :05:37.meeting Suruchi's property agent. Here is the kind of apartment she
:05:38. > :05:45.would like to rent. With her job, she could afford it. Look at the
:05:46. > :05:52.Green. But Suruchi's status as a single woman in her late 20s makes
:05:53. > :05:56.that a tall order. But what are the concerns when you try to convince
:05:57. > :06:05.landlords to lease a property to a single woman? They think it is a
:06:06. > :06:11.woman with bad character. If a woman comes at the age of 35 and she is
:06:12. > :06:14.unmarried, they believe this is someone with a bad character and
:06:15. > :06:20.maybe a bad influence on the children, as something that goes
:06:21. > :06:25.against the Indian culture. If people don't follow the centuries of
:06:26. > :06:29.culture, people don't like that. Even in the few societies that
:06:30. > :06:33.consider single women tenants, owners are keen to cover what they
:06:34. > :06:45.see as an increased liability. They might ask for aid 10-25% premium. --
:06:46. > :06:53.a 10-25%. White you mean, she will have to pay an extra ten to 20%. --
:06:54. > :07:01.10-20%. That must be very difficult. You must be feeling very
:07:02. > :07:07.judged. How much does this way new? Every way, emotionally and at times
:07:08. > :07:14.physically because you have to be on your toes all the time. You live a
:07:15. > :07:19.life where you are always scared. You can't be yourself. You can't
:07:20. > :07:25.live a life of your own wishes. That is what I have faced over the last
:07:26. > :07:31.five years stating in the city. In a couple of days I will be back to
:07:32. > :07:32.spend Suruchi's birthday with her. I will see first-hand the pressure
:07:33. > :07:49.from her family to marry. India's suspicion of single women is
:07:50. > :07:55.brought into focus went it comes to women who have lost their husbands.
:07:56. > :08:04.One place in the country that captures the plight of widows,
:08:05. > :08:08.especially in the rural areas, is in the Holly City, a sanctuary for such
:08:09. > :08:14.widows who are abandoned by their families. -- Holy. We are heading to
:08:15. > :08:29.the town and this will be my first ever visit to the city.
:08:30. > :08:38.This is home to 15,000 widowed women and each have seen their own grief
:08:39. > :08:44.at losing their husbands compounded what followed. Often seemed as a
:08:45. > :08:49.burden, emotionally and financially by their families, they are faced
:08:50. > :09:04.with sentiment, abuse and, ultimately, being abandoned. One of
:09:05. > :09:06.them is here. She is 65. She came to Vrindavan eight years ago, after
:09:07. > :09:52.life as a bidder, living with her family, became unbearable.
:09:53. > :10:04.--widow. Like many widows here, for her, there was little to lose in
:10:05. > :10:07.coming to Vrindavan. The life she had taken decades to create had
:10:08. > :10:12.already been taken from her. People treated her like she did not belong.
:10:13. > :10:18.She was hit badly and her legs were broken. Her daughter in the walk,
:10:19. > :10:26.her sons, nobody treated her like a human being. She didn't feel that
:10:27. > :10:55.she was leaving -- leading a life of dignity. I am ashamed.
:10:56. > :11:04.I feel ashamed absolutely and I don't have words to say of how I
:11:05. > :11:09.feel. Thank you. Her story hit me hard. Of course I was aware before
:11:10. > :11:14.meeting her that life for Indian widows can be tough, but it was
:11:15. > :11:19.shocking to see first-hand how, without a man by her side, a la
:11:20. > :11:27.society and her family see her as worthless. -- our society. So little
:11:28. > :11:34.has changed for women in this country. I am a new woman and I see
:11:35. > :11:38.myself differently, I am cosmopolitan, I work and I feel
:11:39. > :11:45.liberated. I can't imagine myself in this situation ever, come what way.
:11:46. > :11:50.-- come what may. In general, when you look around, 1.26 billion people
:11:51. > :11:59.in this country and you know a big chunk of that population has to
:12:00. > :12:05.fight for a dignified life. Women are one of the most vulnerable.
:12:06. > :12:13.Being part of that gender, I feel very strongly. I feel we have not
:12:14. > :12:25.moved enough. Not enough as a modern society. To try get answers about
:12:26. > :12:31.all of this, I am meeting this woman. This is one of the places
:12:32. > :12:37.where we feed them. Her charity is one of the few sources these women
:12:38. > :12:41.have. The women turn up here every lunchtime in their hundreds for a
:12:42. > :12:48.hot meal. These women are all widows. One thing they need is
:12:49. > :12:55.nutrition, because without that, with their failing health,
:12:56. > :13:02.everything will go into a cycle. So you provide one we ensure that. It
:13:03. > :13:08.makes a difference for their health and to their well-being generally.
:13:09. > :13:13.It gives them a little dignity because they do not then have two
:13:14. > :13:21.beg for at least this meal. -- to beg. Understanding why the women are
:13:22. > :13:24.pushed out of their families is crucial if we are to do more than
:13:25. > :13:30.fill empty stomach. It is a combination of outdated beliefs and
:13:31. > :13:42.more financial reality. The primary reason is economic. The family will
:13:43. > :13:50.feel that if she is disempowered and is left without any identity, then
:13:51. > :13:55.she cannot put any state to any financials of the family. It is
:13:56. > :14:04.culture, culture, culture. After all of this, there is still hope. You
:14:05. > :14:12.know, when they die, their son will probably come and like their part.
:14:13. > :14:18.-- pyre. Hero, a son who breaks your legs and hits you so hard your skull
:14:19. > :14:23.breaks. A son who is willing to put power dung in your mouth, and yet,
:14:24. > :14:42.you want the same sun to come and light your pyre. You cannot
:14:43. > :14:45.understand that mindset. When it comes to women who are single by
:14:46. > :14:51.separation or divorce social attitudes are equally problematic.
:14:52. > :15:06.Were towards this shop where she goes every day to buy her daily
:15:07. > :15:14.stuff. She is being divorced by her husband after this family rejected
:15:15. > :15:24.the marriage. Despite being comfortably off he has provided no
:15:25. > :15:25.maintenance to her in three years. It has left her and her son
:15:26. > :15:38.destitute. She will be able to cook to meals
:15:39. > :15:46.with this amount of lentils. This is the bare minimum, the lowest of the
:15:47. > :15:57.low income in India. You have to have this to carry on. On top of the
:15:58. > :16:00.poverty, she and her son are without her husband. She is ashamed even
:16:01. > :16:28.though he has rejected her. It is this concern that is behind
:16:29. > :16:34.her continuing attempts to go back to her husband. Not only does he
:16:35. > :16:42.refuse her, but he refuses violently. This is incredible. She
:16:43. > :16:48.went back to her husband 's place last week and she was badly beaten
:16:49. > :16:53.up. She says that she is ready and happy to be with her husband despite
:16:54. > :16:56.him being abusive. She has been going back to allow him to stay
:16:57. > :17:04.there but they throw her out every time.
:17:05. > :17:12.What is amazingly sad about this story is that she still wants to be
:17:13. > :17:18.in an abusive, terrible marriage. Because it is so difficult to be
:17:19. > :17:24.single by divorce. It proves again how incredibly difficult it is to be
:17:25. > :17:30.a divorced person, to be a divorced woman in this country. India still
:17:31. > :17:35.has one of the lowest divorce rates in the world. It is a picture that
:17:36. > :17:40.is changing. In five years, the number of divorce cases here has
:17:41. > :17:47.doubled. I could not believe this magazine. It is India's first
:17:48. > :17:55.divorce news magazine. The fact that it exists at all is remarkable. The
:17:56. > :18:03.editor is a divorcee herself. I will go to meet her.
:18:04. > :18:16.She knows the state of divorce in India better than most. At the High
:18:17. > :18:20.Court in Mumbai where she practices as a divorce lawyer, Vandana has
:18:21. > :18:27.seen more and more cases come to court but no increase in legal
:18:28. > :18:34.resources. In 2001 when my matter came to court there were only 20
:18:35. > :18:40.cases on board. Today there are about 60 to 70 a day. The number of
:18:41. > :18:46.cases has more than trebled, but the number of judges is the same, the
:18:47. > :18:52.number of controls remain the same. The number of courts remain the
:18:53. > :18:57.same. This legal bottleneck reflects a social stigma. For Vandana it is
:18:58. > :19:04.much worse for women and bald in divorce. -- involved in divorce. I
:19:05. > :19:11.have come to her home to sit in on the counselling sessions she offers
:19:12. > :19:17.women divorce says. It is 630 in the house. The kids and a used to be
:19:18. > :19:24.totally silent. Once he enters the house, there is a fear. In the whole
:19:25. > :19:27.of India, this must be one of the few places where women involved in
:19:28. > :19:35.divorce find it genuinely sympathetic ear. Most of them are
:19:36. > :19:41.depressed and many have contemplated suicide. Their financial condition
:19:42. > :19:44.is pathetic. They come to me to hear a voice to say that you are not
:19:45. > :19:51.wrong in wanting better for yourself. And to hear that there is
:19:52. > :19:57.life beyond. Life beyond divorce is one that Vandana knows that wider
:19:58. > :20:01.India is struggling to accept. You go to anyone you tell them that you
:20:02. > :20:07.are going through divorce and they do not want to know it. We have not
:20:08. > :20:13.ever accepted divorce as an inevitability in this country. Why?
:20:14. > :20:19.Will make we think that marriages are made in heaven and you will be
:20:20. > :20:26.with your husband until hell freezes over. With the changed dynamics,
:20:27. > :20:27.especially financial dynamics, and awareness that women have, that is
:20:28. > :20:39.not happening. One person who is a product of these
:20:40. > :20:50.new dynamics is our next guest. I am back with her to catch a train from
:20:51. > :20:54.Mumbai. I am going to meet her parents and it will be a nice party
:20:55. > :21:03.time because it is her birthday and will celebrate its together the
:21:04. > :21:05.pressures on her as an independent and professional single woman are
:21:06. > :21:12.very different to those of other women in this film. They stem from
:21:13. > :21:15.the same source. They stem from a long held belief in India that a
:21:16. > :21:27.woman without a man is somehow less value. -- somehow of less value. As
:21:28. > :21:30.we travel the five hours towards her family home, I want to know more
:21:31. > :21:37.about how this affects her relationship with her parents. I
:21:38. > :21:41.love going back home, I love seeing my family and being pampered. There
:21:42. > :21:46.is something that you do dread. There is a discussion going on, is
:21:47. > :21:52.there a guide that you are seeing? Is there somebody in your life? With
:21:53. > :22:03.the get married? In spite of May visit every time, the conversation
:22:04. > :22:08.continues. Is its always a joke? It is not always a joke for my parents
:22:09. > :22:27.because I am aware of the pressures that they face. It gets conducted to
:22:28. > :22:31.me as well. # happy birthday to you. She is 28 years old. Another year
:22:32. > :22:37.and another increase in the pressure to find a husband. We are looking at
:22:38. > :22:43.her matrimonial profile which her dad manages for her. There are 58
:22:44. > :22:51.pages of men who are interested. She is taking a look. Do you think
:22:52. > :22:58.anybody is interesting? I am just looking at their profiles. It is not
:22:59. > :23:02.get me intrigued at all. They have their own problems and that is when
:23:03. > :23:06.the disagreements start. If he is earning well and looks good what is
:23:07. > :23:11.your problem? Her parents respect the choices. But with each birthday,
:23:12. > :23:22.you can see the impatience and anxiety growing. What are the
:23:23. > :23:54.pressures that you would encounter? The pressure around this particular
:23:55. > :23:59.factor is immense. If you are capable, you can find a way out. It
:24:00. > :24:03.might be moving abroad somewhere. If it gets too much I will without this
:24:04. > :24:08.country so that I do not have to deal with all of this. Are you
:24:09. > :24:16.serious? Would that make it easier for your parents? Do you really
:24:17. > :24:21.think that is true? I do think about it. It would be easier for me to be
:24:22. > :24:24.away. The best thing would be that my parents would not have to answer
:24:25. > :24:31.to everyone whenever they are asked. They can say that she is
:24:32. > :24:40.abroad and dealing with it herself. It takes the pressure off them. The
:24:41. > :24:45.pressures that everyone here feels about being single are as old as the
:24:46. > :24:49.ritual that she and her brother perform for this festival. I have
:24:50. > :24:53.seen for myself how these pressures weigh heavily and how one day they
:24:54. > :25:10.could even force this family apart. Social attitudes are so difficult to
:25:11. > :25:13.measure. As I have travelled a country while making this film I
:25:14. > :25:18.have met women whose lives have been affected in real terms by attitudes.
:25:19. > :25:23.A lot of it is uncomfortable. It has been an example of the fact that
:25:24. > :25:31.some of the hardest truth to face are the ones closest to you. Looking
:25:32. > :25:37.in-depth at your own country, your own gender, is something I have not
:25:38. > :25:41.found easy. Many things here are improving but the new India is still
:25:42. > :25:43.an unforgiving place for single women who wants to be free to pursue
:25:44. > :26:33.their own lives. -- want to be free. It is shaping up to be a pleasant
:26:34. > :26:36.weekend. We are going to see milder air pushing northwards after a
:26:37. > :26:37.chilly down Friday in the north. You will notice the