OCD - An Actor's Tale

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0:00:02 > 0:00:06Obsessive-compulsive disorder, or OCD.

0:00:06 > 0:00:08We all think we know what it is.

0:00:08 > 0:00:10We even believe we've got a bit ourselves.

0:00:10 > 0:00:13But I'm here to tell you, you don't know the half of it.

0:00:15 > 0:00:21The torture in my head because of that bloody drop of water in there.

0:00:21 > 0:00:23Why does it bother me so much?

0:00:23 > 0:00:26I'm meeting families who can tell you the real story.

0:00:26 > 0:00:28I think the majority of people

0:00:28 > 0:00:32have no idea quite how far OCD can take you down.

0:00:32 > 0:00:35They've let cameras into their homes.

0:00:35 > 0:00:37Absolutely everything is regulated by the OCD.

0:00:38 > 0:00:41I like to be clean. I couldn't bear the thought of being dirty.

0:00:41 > 0:00:45As we focus a lens on mental health's hidden condition.

0:00:45 > 0:00:48About 18, often 20 hours are consumed with OCD.

0:00:49 > 0:00:51I cannot live with this any longer.

0:01:01 > 0:01:04I've been a professional actor now for over 30 years.

0:01:04 > 0:01:08So performing on stage and screen is par to the course,

0:01:08 > 0:01:11but it is a journey I've done with a constant unwelcome companion.

0:01:13 > 0:01:15I love my job. I love being an actor.

0:01:15 > 0:01:21But it's a real struggle, because I suffer from a condition called OCD,

0:01:21 > 0:01:23Obsessive-compulsive disorder.

0:01:24 > 0:01:27For me, that means I can obsess about anything

0:01:27 > 0:01:31from a stain on a page of paper to the fear I'll injure myself

0:01:31 > 0:01:33from simply sitting down.

0:01:33 > 0:01:37It's not exactly helpful when you're trying to do your job.

0:01:37 > 0:01:39Do you know what that is, son?

0:01:39 > 0:01:40Cowardice.

0:01:42 > 0:01:43Say that again.

0:01:43 > 0:01:45'I remember this scene very clearly.'

0:01:45 > 0:01:47We were filming on a building site, and this was the workplace

0:01:47 > 0:01:51and it was particularly, er... messy.

0:01:51 > 0:01:55It was oil, grease. It was like stain central.

0:01:55 > 0:01:59The fear of getting dirty can compel me to carry out rituals to calm what

0:01:59 > 0:02:01I know are irrational thoughts.

0:02:01 > 0:02:04- 'Give the lad a bravery medal!' - And I struggled with this.

0:02:04 > 0:02:06Fortunately I had, you know, the likes of Mikey,

0:02:06 > 0:02:09a very good friend of mine, and the crew

0:02:09 > 0:02:12and they were just really patient and understanding,

0:02:12 > 0:02:13but it was a struggle,

0:02:13 > 0:02:16because I'd just have this constant noise in my head

0:02:16 > 0:02:19about, you know, being surrounded by contamination.

0:02:20 > 0:02:22It would be hard.

0:02:22 > 0:02:25I had to get up three times a night to care for a baby.

0:02:25 > 0:02:28'I had to pick up a sobbing eight-year-old girl and rock her

0:02:28 > 0:02:32'in my arms and tell her that everything was going to be all right.'

0:02:34 > 0:02:38There are tens of thousands battling OCD in Wales alone.

0:02:38 > 0:02:42I'm off to meet some of them to see how it's taking over their lives,

0:02:42 > 0:02:43and how they're fighting back.

0:02:47 > 0:02:50Deon Gorle lives with his family near Carmarthen.

0:02:50 > 0:02:53He's had OCD for most of his life.

0:02:53 > 0:02:56For him, his OCD is particularly painful.

0:02:56 > 0:02:58He's overwhelmed by intrusive thoughts

0:02:58 > 0:03:01that his family will come to harm.

0:03:01 > 0:03:03- She's gorgeous! - One ear forward, one backwards.

0:03:04 > 0:03:09Why are you doing these compulsions, Deon? What will happen?

0:03:09 > 0:03:12It's an overbearing feeling

0:03:12 > 0:03:16that something bad will happen to a loved one.

0:03:16 > 0:03:21For example, today, Dawn I know has gone swimming with school.

0:03:21 > 0:03:24If I don't do these neutralising behaviours, these habits,

0:03:24 > 0:03:26then she'll drown.

0:03:28 > 0:03:31He's compelled to carry out a series of rituals to prevent such

0:03:31 > 0:03:33thoughts coming true.

0:03:35 > 0:03:39I have a counting pattern of five and four,

0:03:39 > 0:03:41being there were five people in my original family,

0:03:41 > 0:03:43Dad, Mum, brother, sister and me.

0:03:43 > 0:03:47And then now, four being Dawn, me, Dominique and Danielle.

0:03:47 > 0:03:49So these checking patterns

0:03:49 > 0:03:52have to be done in a five and four pattern.

0:03:52 > 0:03:55And then if anything goes wrong, I then have to then do,

0:03:55 > 0:04:02that five and four thing, five and four times, being nine times nine.

0:04:02 > 0:04:03So again.

0:04:03 > 0:04:06Deon says that his rituals became so time-consuming,

0:04:06 > 0:04:08they were taking up to 90% of his day.

0:04:09 > 0:04:14It's horrible to live with, only from the point of my frustration,

0:04:14 > 0:04:17because there was nothing that I could do to help him.

0:04:17 > 0:04:20I had over 500 separate neutralising behaviours.

0:04:20 > 0:04:21500 separate OCDs.

0:04:23 > 0:04:26If I don't do this, what if something DOES happen?

0:04:27 > 0:04:31If it does by pure chance, I'm going to blame myself.

0:04:36 > 0:04:39I've come back to my hometown of Flint, where I spent my school days.

0:04:41 > 0:04:44Looking back, OCD was always there, hidden away,

0:04:44 > 0:04:47although I wasn't diagnosed until my 30s.

0:04:49 > 0:04:51Now I'm keen to raise awareness.

0:04:51 > 0:04:53I even wrote a film on OCD.

0:04:53 > 0:04:56It included a lot of my own experiences growing up.

0:04:56 > 0:05:00So when it came to choosing the actor to play the main character,

0:05:00 > 0:05:03he has to be Welsh. He has to be brilliant.

0:05:03 > 0:05:05Well, it's a no-brainer.

0:05:05 > 0:05:06It had to be Michael Sheen.

0:05:08 > 0:05:09- Habits.- What?

0:05:09 > 0:05:10I just realised, habits.

0:05:12 > 0:05:14Wash my face, wash my hands, clean my teeth, rinse.

0:05:14 > 0:05:18Check my face for spots, aftershave, hair, check my shoes for dog shit.

0:05:19 > 0:05:20And habits!

0:05:21 > 0:05:24All my OCDs! That's...

0:05:24 > 0:05:25That's what I used to call them.

0:05:25 > 0:05:28That's what I thought they were, just habits.

0:05:35 > 0:05:37Great memories of kicking a ball around with my mates.

0:05:37 > 0:05:41But it's also the time when I first probably realised that I was

0:05:41 > 0:05:43different to the rest of the lads,

0:05:43 > 0:05:46because for some reason, whenever I was passed the ball,

0:05:46 > 0:05:50I felt compelled to check my flies, to make sure they were done up.

0:05:50 > 0:05:54I now realise that was OCD.

0:05:54 > 0:05:57Back then, just thought I was different and a little bit odd,

0:05:57 > 0:06:00And with that, obviously, came embarrassment

0:06:00 > 0:06:01and huge, huge anxiety.

0:06:03 > 0:06:06Because as much as I loved playing the game...

0:06:07 > 0:06:09..in a way, I hated being passed the ball.

0:06:13 > 0:06:15OCD has a habit of hanging around.

0:06:17 > 0:06:19Sometimes it can take control.

0:06:23 > 0:06:25I've come to Bridgend

0:06:25 > 0:06:28to meet compulsive cleaner and Corrie fan Leslie,

0:06:28 > 0:06:29and her daughter Tuesday.

0:06:29 > 0:06:31- Hello.- Hello, Leslie.

0:06:31 > 0:06:32- Hiya.- Tuesday.

0:06:32 > 0:06:34- Hello.- I'm Ian.- Hiya.

0:06:34 > 0:06:35- Pleased to meet you. - Pleased to meet you.

0:06:35 > 0:06:37I don't know if we should shake hands, because then the...

0:06:37 > 0:06:40- OK. This is a no handshaking zone. - It is!- Let's just wave.

0:06:40 > 0:06:41I'm happy with that.

0:06:41 > 0:06:45We've been allowed to film in their house, on certain conditions.

0:06:45 > 0:06:46This is how it works.

0:06:46 > 0:06:48- OK.- If you lift one foot up...

0:06:48 > 0:06:50- Yeah.- And put your foot in.

0:06:50 > 0:06:52- Yeah.- Then you can put it down.

0:06:52 > 0:06:54- OK.- And then lift the other one up, I'll put the bag on,

0:06:54 > 0:07:00- then you can come in.- I have to excuse my muddy boot, there.

0:07:00 > 0:07:03I was playing football with some kids the other day at my old school.

0:07:03 > 0:07:06- So, apologies for that.- That's it, you can come in with that one now.

0:07:06 > 0:07:09- I come in with this now? - Yeah, yeah. Lift this up.

0:07:09 > 0:07:10- Brilliant.- And then down.

0:07:16 > 0:07:18Now, I haven't put the towels down yet,

0:07:18 > 0:07:20cos I don't know where we're sitting.

0:07:20 > 0:07:23- Sure.- But when we sit down, I'll have to cover the furniture.

0:07:23 > 0:07:24- That's fine, yeah.- So you can sit.

0:07:24 > 0:07:28How do you both feel now, with me covered in germs,

0:07:28 > 0:07:31how is that making you feel this very moment?

0:07:32 > 0:07:34Well, I've got, like, butterflies,

0:07:34 > 0:07:36but anxious butterflies.

0:07:36 > 0:07:38- Yeah.- I can't wait for you to go!

0:07:39 > 0:07:42Thank you very much. I love you, too.

0:07:42 > 0:07:45Despite their anxiety, they've allowed us to put up

0:07:45 > 0:07:49cameras in the house to show just how OCD affects them.

0:07:51 > 0:07:55But there's one or two more checks to do before today's interview.

0:07:55 > 0:07:56I do horrible things...

0:07:56 > 0:07:58Oh, my God.

0:07:58 > 0:08:00That was going to go down my jumper.

0:08:01 > 0:08:04Both have been diagnosed with OCD.

0:08:04 > 0:08:06For Leslie, the condition means she is compelled

0:08:06 > 0:08:08to constantly clean her house.

0:08:08 > 0:08:10You're safe to sit down now.

0:08:12 > 0:08:15Tell me how your day unravels.

0:08:15 > 0:08:16Well, I don't go to bed.

0:08:16 > 0:08:18I sleep on the settee, for a start.

0:08:18 > 0:08:23Because the obsessiveness is on my mind all the time,

0:08:23 > 0:08:26I don't relax enough to go to bed,

0:08:26 > 0:08:29because as soon as it's light,

0:08:29 > 0:08:31I need to get up and start,

0:08:31 > 0:08:34and I'm emotionally drained before I start,

0:08:34 > 0:08:36because I know what I've got to do.

0:08:36 > 0:08:38- You know?- And start what, exactly?

0:08:38 > 0:08:41Well, there's the hoovering, the dusting.

0:08:41 > 0:08:45The dusting of the walls or cleaning a cupboard.

0:08:45 > 0:08:48No-one's been, but it's got to be done.

0:08:48 > 0:08:49And what about outside?

0:08:49 > 0:08:53I looked outside and I saw that even the paving stones and

0:08:53 > 0:08:56- the gravel look clean. Is that... - It's been bleached.

0:08:56 > 0:08:58- What...?- The gravel's been bleached.

0:08:58 > 0:09:01- You bleached the gravel? - I bleach the gravel, yeah.

0:09:01 > 0:09:05When it's raining, I'll get the bleach, couple of bottles of bleach,

0:09:05 > 0:09:09squirt it all over the stones, and then go out with a big yard brush.

0:09:09 > 0:09:12Brush them all up and they're all bubbly and frothy.

0:09:12 > 0:09:14I've said this before, I've said you can eat off someone's floor,

0:09:14 > 0:09:17but I'm now saying you can even eat off your gravel.

0:09:17 > 0:09:18I know. I've hoovered the shed

0:09:18 > 0:09:21and "antibacterialled" inside the shed, as well.

0:09:21 > 0:09:23There's nothing in my shed.

0:09:24 > 0:09:28For 27-year-old Tuesday, her OCD is different.

0:09:28 > 0:09:31Some people who have OCD think, "If I don't do this,

0:09:31 > 0:09:33"then I might die or something bad's going to happen,"

0:09:33 > 0:09:34and I don't think that.

0:09:34 > 0:09:36I think that I'm dirty.

0:09:36 > 0:09:40So if somebody, say, were to tap me on the shoulder when I'm at work,

0:09:40 > 0:09:42then my shoulder's dirty,

0:09:42 > 0:09:43and then my arm's dirty

0:09:43 > 0:09:46and the whole top of me's dirty, and it escalates.

0:09:47 > 0:09:49Where do I go? Left, right, straight ahead?

0:09:49 > 0:09:52Tuesday is able to work and get out much more than her mother.

0:09:52 > 0:09:55Straight ahead, yeah. Straight ahead, my room is.

0:09:55 > 0:09:58But a trip to her bedroom shows the impact OCD has on her.

0:09:58 > 0:10:04OK, well the first thing I see is obviously your ordered clothes.

0:10:04 > 0:10:06I mean, are they colour-coordinated, or...?

0:10:06 > 0:10:09So with the colour coordination, that doesn't bother me.

0:10:09 > 0:10:11Mine is, I like sleeve order.

0:10:11 > 0:10:15- Sleeve?- Sleeve order. Sleeve order. - That's a first.- So I've got, like,

0:10:15 > 0:10:17sort of my long sleeves and my hoods at the beginning.

0:10:17 > 0:10:19Then I've got high necks and long-sleeved stuff.

0:10:19 > 0:10:21Then we go onto shirts.

0:10:21 > 0:10:24Then we go on to short sleeves, and then no sleeves,

0:10:24 > 0:10:26so it goes up gradually.

0:10:26 > 0:10:28- Makes sense to me.- Yeah.

0:10:28 > 0:10:30- And your bed?- Yeah.

0:10:30 > 0:10:33- Looks very well made. - Well, my bed doesn't get slept in.

0:10:33 > 0:10:34I don't sleep in it.

0:10:34 > 0:10:36Because my mum doesn't sleep in her bed,

0:10:36 > 0:10:38she sleeps for a few hours on the sofa downstairs,

0:10:38 > 0:10:40I sleep in my mum's bed.

0:10:40 > 0:10:42Because the sheets are so, so neat.

0:10:42 > 0:10:45It's so plump, I can't bear to get in it,

0:10:45 > 0:10:47and even if I did get in it,

0:10:47 > 0:10:50I wouldn't be comfortable because I would be making it a mess,

0:10:50 > 0:10:52and I would be worried about the creases.

0:10:52 > 0:10:54I wouldn't be able to, sort of, relax in my bed.

0:10:54 > 0:10:56So I don't do it. I just leave it.

0:10:56 > 0:10:59I still change the sheets, I still do everything, but I also...

0:10:59 > 0:11:00Like with my clothes,

0:11:00 > 0:11:02I hoover the top of the bed as well because of the dust,

0:11:02 > 0:11:05but I don't sleep in it. I haven't slept in my bed for

0:11:05 > 0:11:08well over a year, maybe two years,

0:11:08 > 0:11:09because I can't bear to crease it.

0:11:13 > 0:11:18So Leslie, can you explain what would happen if you didn't carry out

0:11:18 > 0:11:22- the compulsion?- It's like, there's a normal side of me saying,

0:11:22 > 0:11:24"Why are you doing it?"

0:11:24 > 0:11:27But the OCD bully MAKES you do it.

0:11:27 > 0:11:29You're compelled to do it,

0:11:29 > 0:11:31and if I don't do it,

0:11:31 > 0:11:35my mind is so messed up.

0:11:35 > 0:11:40There's not a word or a thing or a colour to describe

0:11:40 > 0:11:43what your mind is doing.

0:11:44 > 0:11:48To quell the OCD, you do it anyway,

0:11:48 > 0:11:51and it doesn't matter how tired I am.

0:11:51 > 0:11:52It's like, polishing the sink.

0:11:52 > 0:11:55I know it's clean, so why am I doing it?

0:11:55 > 0:11:57Why can't I stop?

0:11:57 > 0:11:59But the OCD's like...

0:11:59 > 0:12:01It's doing it. It's doing it without...

0:12:01 > 0:12:04Sometimes, you're not focused because you're doing these things.

0:12:07 > 0:12:10Both Tuesday and Leslie are on medication for their OCD.

0:12:19 > 0:12:21The NHS guidelines say for OCD,

0:12:21 > 0:12:24as well as drugs, there should be therapy.

0:12:24 > 0:12:27The recommended therapy is CBT -

0:12:27 > 0:12:29that's cognitive behavioural therapy.

0:12:32 > 0:12:36I think the first thing to say is that CBT is evidence-based.

0:12:36 > 0:12:39It's backed up by scientific research that it's effective,

0:12:39 > 0:12:43and over the last ten, 20 years,

0:12:43 > 0:12:46we've begun to make inroads into OCD

0:12:46 > 0:12:49and we've got really effective treatment for OCD now.

0:12:49 > 0:12:51CBT is not a panacea,

0:12:51 > 0:12:57but the charity OCD UK estimates that 75% of people with OCD are

0:12:57 > 0:12:59significantly helped by cognitive behavioural therapy.

0:13:01 > 0:13:04But it seems getting the right level of therapist is key.

0:13:04 > 0:13:06I think there are a lot of professionals going around

0:13:06 > 0:13:09claiming to do CBT who aren't really qualified to do it.

0:13:09 > 0:13:11Particularly in OCD, because I think, because I said it,

0:13:11 > 0:13:15it's the Lamborghini of mental health problems,

0:13:15 > 0:13:16that you have to be good.

0:13:16 > 0:13:18You want that little bit extra for OCD,

0:13:18 > 0:13:21a little bit extra experience - expertise and experience.

0:13:23 > 0:13:27Six years ago, Keith was able to reduce Deon's 500 OCDs to

0:13:27 > 0:13:28just three or four.

0:13:28 > 0:13:31Deon was paying Keith privately and didn't complete the

0:13:31 > 0:13:35treatment at the time, so he's called Keith again for help.

0:13:36 > 0:13:37I can straightaway see gaps.

0:13:37 > 0:13:40- Yeah, yeah.- Here. - Let's put them back.

0:13:40 > 0:13:42And what sort of thing might you want to do now?

0:13:43 > 0:13:46Tidy up this drawer.

0:13:46 > 0:13:49OK, I will get the spoon, put it in.

0:13:49 > 0:13:53- I would then straighten these things.- Yeah, yeah, yeah.- Like this.

0:13:53 > 0:13:56Make sure that they're all extremely straight.

0:13:56 > 0:13:59I would then close the drawer.

0:13:59 > 0:14:01That doesn't feel right.

0:14:01 > 0:14:04- Yeah.- At the moment, so I'm still holding the drawer.

0:14:04 > 0:14:06OK, can you let...let go of the drawer then.

0:14:07 > 0:14:09Does it trigger a thought

0:14:09 > 0:14:11about anybody dying in a car crash or anything?

0:14:11 > 0:14:13Yes. It's not right at the moment.

0:14:13 > 0:14:15It makes me want to open it again.

0:14:15 > 0:14:17Yeah, and do that again.

0:14:17 > 0:14:20- Again.- So stay with that thought now,

0:14:20 > 0:14:23that you're really uncomfortable about this thought about Dawn being

0:14:23 > 0:14:26in a car crash and being trapped in there,

0:14:26 > 0:14:29being injured, maybe dying, because you've not done that.

0:14:29 > 0:14:31Does that make it more difficult?

0:14:31 > 0:14:34It makes me think that the moment you leave, I'll do it.

0:14:34 > 0:14:38Yeah, yeah. Because you have to, to save her.

0:14:38 > 0:14:40Yeah. Obviously, because I need...

0:14:40 > 0:14:42To get better with this.

0:14:42 > 0:14:46- Yeah.- I'm going to try and, to not do it.

0:14:46 > 0:14:49What I'm going to suggest is that this drawer doesn't get

0:14:49 > 0:14:52five and four, because we want to use this as an example,

0:14:52 > 0:14:55so that we can transfer it to other things in the house.

0:14:55 > 0:14:58If anything goes wrong now,

0:14:58 > 0:15:00now it's your fault.

0:15:00 > 0:15:02OK!

0:15:02 > 0:15:05I know we laugh about it, but it's...

0:15:05 > 0:15:07Painful.

0:15:07 > 0:15:12Yeah, and when there's literally hundreds of them surrounding you

0:15:12 > 0:15:14and it's all around you, and occupies 20 hours a day.

0:15:14 > 0:15:17Yeah. Yeah, but you think the world's pretty dangerous, don't you?

0:15:17 > 0:15:18Just gets a bit much.

0:15:18 > 0:15:20Yeah. Do you feel bad now?

0:15:20 > 0:15:22Yeah. Don't like it.

0:15:23 > 0:15:26Deon's on a waiting list for help from the NHS,

0:15:26 > 0:15:28but from past experience,

0:15:28 > 0:15:31he says he has little faith he'll get the level of help he needs.

0:15:31 > 0:15:37Even if you're lucky enough to find a CBT therapist on the NHS who is an

0:15:37 > 0:15:41accredited therapist, who has knowledge of CBT for OCD.

0:15:41 > 0:15:44If you're lucky enough, then

0:15:44 > 0:15:47you only get between six and eight sessions, which is useless.

0:15:47 > 0:15:49It's utterly useless.

0:15:49 > 0:15:55Something you've had for 30, 35 years cannot be solved

0:15:55 > 0:15:56in such a short space of time.

0:15:59 > 0:16:03Deon's health board said the average number of CBT sessions is 20

0:16:03 > 0:16:07and they're working hard to reduce waiting times.

0:16:07 > 0:16:10There we go.

0:16:10 > 0:16:13CBT is available for OCD on the NHS

0:16:13 > 0:16:18and I've come to Carmarthen to Hywel Dda Health Board to see the results.

0:16:18 > 0:16:21I'm meeting therapist Amy and her patient, whose rituals

0:16:21 > 0:16:25to control his violent, intrusive thoughts just became too much.

0:16:25 > 0:16:28He didn't want to be identified.

0:16:28 > 0:16:31I was up to over eight hours a day, doing the rituals,

0:16:31 > 0:16:34which, when trying to fit in a life,

0:16:34 > 0:16:36you know, it drives you to the edge.

0:16:38 > 0:16:40I didn't want to go on any more.

0:16:40 > 0:16:43And I actually... I actually put a load of tablets out,

0:16:43 > 0:16:45ready to finish the pain.

0:16:47 > 0:16:53After a couple of interviews with various psychologists or therapists,

0:16:53 > 0:16:56Amy was assigned to me and she saved my life.

0:16:57 > 0:16:59You really believe that?

0:16:59 > 0:17:02Absolutely. 100%.

0:17:02 > 0:17:04John has actually got to the point

0:17:04 > 0:17:06where he's been able to return to work.

0:17:06 > 0:17:09John was spending eight hours doing these repetitions.

0:17:09 > 0:17:12We're now at the point where John is actually spending

0:17:12 > 0:17:14one hour of his day.

0:17:14 > 0:17:16For him, that's a huge, huge...

0:17:16 > 0:17:18- Enormous.- Enormous improvement.

0:17:19 > 0:17:23In my opinion, it's vital and they need to give it resource,

0:17:23 > 0:17:26because it is saving lives.

0:17:26 > 0:17:28It saved mine.

0:17:33 > 0:17:36It's great to hear that there is therapy out there on the NHS,

0:17:36 > 0:17:39helping those suffering with OCD,

0:17:39 > 0:17:42but not everyone has had a positive experience.

0:17:42 > 0:17:45I've come to Cardiff to hear a story of frustration and heartache,

0:17:45 > 0:17:47as one family tried to get the right help

0:17:47 > 0:17:49for their teenage daughter Chloe.

0:17:49 > 0:17:51Hi, Ian.

0:17:51 > 0:17:55Chloe as a youngster was a bubbly, bright, you know,

0:17:55 > 0:17:56almost cheeky young girl.

0:17:56 > 0:17:59She was always smiley. She had a bit of a cheeky sense of humour.

0:18:00 > 0:18:02Chloe was the one who was always kind of

0:18:02 > 0:18:04playing practical jokes, you know?

0:18:04 > 0:18:06Having a bit of a giggle, laughter.

0:18:07 > 0:18:09You can see there.

0:18:09 > 0:18:12You know, this is the Chloe we remember from childhood.

0:18:13 > 0:18:17But by 13, Chloe had started to exhibit signs of her OCD.

0:18:18 > 0:18:21She started being really, really obsessed with her hair,

0:18:21 > 0:18:24clamped to the mirror, fiddling with her hair,

0:18:24 > 0:18:27but not in a vanity sort of way.

0:18:27 > 0:18:30Chloe was given support by the child mental health services,

0:18:30 > 0:18:32but her OCD became so severe,

0:18:32 > 0:18:35she was admitted to hospital as an inpatient.

0:18:35 > 0:18:40In desperation, her parents asked the NHS for a second opinion.

0:18:40 > 0:18:43They say it took 18 months, but they did get it.

0:18:43 > 0:18:44Chloe was assessed again,

0:18:44 > 0:18:49this time by one of the UK's leading CBT specialists.

0:18:49 > 0:18:52And immediately, he was able to engage her.

0:18:52 > 0:18:55He was able to question her in a way that she was able to answer,

0:18:55 > 0:18:58and so after being here for about three hours,

0:18:58 > 0:19:01he took us into the other room and he said, "Yes, you know,

0:19:01 > 0:19:05"I do think I can treat her. I've seen worse."

0:19:05 > 0:19:08- For you, that must have been... - Yeah.- ..music to your ears.

0:19:08 > 0:19:10The health board doesn't have to

0:19:10 > 0:19:12necessarily follow specialist advice.

0:19:12 > 0:19:15They developed their own strategy for Chloe's OCD.

0:19:16 > 0:19:19As Chloe's condition was becoming more challenging,

0:19:19 > 0:19:22a tough decision had to be made.

0:19:22 > 0:19:26After consultation, it was agreed by everyone, including Chloe,

0:19:26 > 0:19:28to try foster care.

0:19:28 > 0:19:31They had this thinking that by taking her somewhere else,

0:19:31 > 0:19:34it might give her a chance to kind of rebuild.

0:19:34 > 0:19:38So very, very hard decision, probably one of the hardest things

0:19:38 > 0:19:41I've ever done in my life was signing that paperwork,

0:19:41 > 0:19:44but she went into voluntary foster care for a period.

0:19:45 > 0:19:49It seems incredible to me that a young girl suffering from OCD

0:19:49 > 0:19:52should have to end up in hospital and foster care.

0:20:02 > 0:20:05In Bridgend, there's been a crisis.

0:20:05 > 0:20:09Tuesday popped out to buy a takeaway coffee for her mother,

0:20:09 > 0:20:10and has spilled it in the car.

0:20:12 > 0:20:14This is horrible, horrible for you.

0:20:14 > 0:20:16It is. I've actually pulled the whole carpet up,

0:20:16 > 0:20:18so you can see the bottom, very bottom of my car.

0:20:20 > 0:20:23I'm not sure how I'm going to get it clean enough for me to be satisfied,

0:20:23 > 0:20:25so it's worrying me a little bit.

0:20:25 > 0:20:27- Yeah.- I'm going to wipe it as much as I can now,

0:20:27 > 0:20:30and then maybe I'm thinking once it's dry, I'm going to get the steam

0:20:30 > 0:20:34cleaner on it, antibacterial spray to get the smell of coffee out.

0:20:34 > 0:20:37I'm not sure. My mind's going sort of...

0:20:37 > 0:20:39- Yeah.- ..hundred miles an hour at the minute.- I can hear it.

0:20:39 > 0:20:41- Thinking of... - I can hear it whirring.- Yeah!

0:20:41 > 0:20:43Hear it going over.

0:20:43 > 0:20:46I'm thinking of things I can do to make me satisfied that the coffee's

0:20:46 > 0:20:49gone and that my car is clean again. It's really bothering me.

0:20:50 > 0:20:55Despite the smiles, the incident is obviously stressful for Tuesday.

0:20:55 > 0:21:00Keeping her car and herself clear of germs must be a constant strain.

0:21:00 > 0:21:03I notice that you're holding on to your wet wipe.

0:21:03 > 0:21:04Yeah.

0:21:05 > 0:21:07Is that with you much of the day, then? Is a wet wipe with you

0:21:07 > 0:21:09- much of the day? - It is, yeah. Yeah.

0:21:09 > 0:21:11A lot of the time, my right hand, because I have one

0:21:11 > 0:21:14in my hand constantly, my skin peels.

0:21:14 > 0:21:17Sometimes my knuckles bleed as well.

0:21:17 > 0:21:20- Tuesday, what do you hope for? - I did go to uni. I got a degree,

0:21:20 > 0:21:24and, you know, I've always planned on having a career and money,

0:21:24 > 0:21:26and I've always wanted to travel the world.

0:21:26 > 0:21:29But that in itself is sort of a problem,

0:21:29 > 0:21:32because I couldn't imagine getting on a bus,

0:21:32 > 0:21:35let alone a sort of aeroplane and a train and things like that.

0:21:37 > 0:21:40Let's talk a little bit about social life, fun, laughter.

0:21:40 > 0:21:42- Yeah.- Boyfriends. I mean, do you have a boyfriend?

0:21:42 > 0:21:43I do have a boyfriend, yeah.

0:21:43 > 0:21:46How is he with you and your condition?

0:21:46 > 0:21:49He sees more of it than I've let anybody else know before,

0:21:49 > 0:21:52because I feel more comfortable with him and he doesn't sort of judge me,

0:21:52 > 0:21:55because I do kind of keep it to myself, because I'm embarrassed.

0:21:55 > 0:21:58I don't want people to think, "That's weird," or "she's odd,"

0:21:58 > 0:22:00or "There's something wrong with her."

0:22:00 > 0:22:03But I mean, obviously one day in the future, I would, sort of, like to,

0:22:03 > 0:22:06sort of, live with him, and that kind of, sort of worries me.

0:22:08 > 0:22:13And I see this poor little girl here, my daughter, and it's so sad.

0:22:16 > 0:22:17She needs help.

0:22:17 > 0:22:19Some good help.

0:22:23 > 0:22:27It's torture. They are being tortured by this condition.

0:22:27 > 0:22:29As we've seen, it's just no quality of life.

0:22:29 > 0:22:32Just speaking to them now after we packed up, and I said,

0:22:32 > 0:22:33"What's your day now?"

0:22:33 > 0:22:36And they said, "Well, it's back to doing the cleaning."

0:22:36 > 0:22:38Tuesday will spend about four hours with the car

0:22:38 > 0:22:42and Leslie will get back to where she left off in the house.

0:22:45 > 0:22:46I find that quite upsetting.

0:22:49 > 0:22:52Tuesday and Leslie have had some therapy in the past,

0:22:52 > 0:22:53but say it didn't work for them.

0:22:54 > 0:22:57Could the correct level of therapy be the key to free them

0:22:57 > 0:22:59from their OCD bully?

0:23:00 > 0:23:01But here's the thing.

0:23:01 > 0:23:05Wales has a shortage of accredited CBT therapists.

0:23:05 > 0:23:08In England, they have three times as many per head.

0:23:10 > 0:23:12Well, people with mental health problems in Wales

0:23:12 > 0:23:14are being done a disservice.

0:23:14 > 0:23:18I think England has really worked hard to get the thing right.

0:23:18 > 0:23:20It isn't perfect.

0:23:20 > 0:23:21Wales is just waking up now.

0:23:21 > 0:23:23They are just about now in some health boards,

0:23:23 > 0:23:25people are starting to say,

0:23:25 > 0:23:27"Oh, we need to get more psychotherapists".

0:23:27 > 0:23:31And it's just starting to seep into the culture that we must do that.

0:23:32 > 0:23:34Ten years ago in England,

0:23:34 > 0:23:37around £200 million was spent training more therapists.

0:23:37 > 0:23:41There are signs things are changing in Wales, too.

0:23:41 > 0:23:44So, many of you will be working with people who have OCD.

0:23:44 > 0:23:48This course at Cardiff University is a step in the right direction,

0:23:48 > 0:23:50but it's the only one of its level in Wales.

0:23:50 > 0:23:54It'll take more courses like this to ensure the NHS have enough

0:23:54 > 0:23:56CBT therapists to meet the need.

0:23:58 > 0:24:01Many sufferers like Deon pay for private treatment.

0:24:01 > 0:24:04The temptation then, of course, is to finish early because of the cost,

0:24:04 > 0:24:07and that can increase the chance of a relapse.

0:24:07 > 0:24:12OCD comes back with force so quickly.

0:24:12 > 0:24:14So quickly, you have no idea.

0:24:14 > 0:24:18It's like a plague. It just...takes over you.

0:24:20 > 0:24:23This time, Deon is telling me he wants to go for it.

0:24:23 > 0:24:26He wants to do 100% and wants to kick it into touch.

0:24:26 > 0:24:29Trying again. New fresh time again now,

0:24:29 > 0:24:31and let's get completely free this time.

0:24:31 > 0:24:34Let's hope. With a lot of hard work.

0:24:35 > 0:24:37And cost, unfortunately.

0:24:37 > 0:24:41Because as I say, there is little help on the NHS for this.

0:24:41 > 0:24:43Believe me, I've tried.

0:24:44 > 0:24:48What Deon would like would be for the NHS to pay for Keith.

0:24:48 > 0:24:51But there are no health boards in Wales currently using

0:24:51 > 0:24:53private practitioners for OCD.

0:24:54 > 0:24:56And what about Chloe Boorman?

0:24:56 > 0:24:59Her foster care didn't work out, and she returned home.

0:25:00 > 0:25:03This January, she was admitted to hospital again.

0:25:05 > 0:25:10If only somebody could have seen her at the right level,

0:25:10 > 0:25:11right at the beginning,

0:25:11 > 0:25:14who knew what they were talking about and knew what they could do,

0:25:14 > 0:25:17I reckon she could have been saved a lot of her suffering.

0:25:18 > 0:25:23She could end up relying on the NHS for another 50 years.

0:25:23 > 0:25:26I'm sure that's going to cost far, far more.

0:25:30 > 0:25:31It's so cruel.

0:25:31 > 0:25:33The illness is so cruel.

0:25:33 > 0:25:36What gets me is it's been five years.

0:25:36 > 0:25:39Five years of real suffering

0:25:39 > 0:25:41and it's so frustrating

0:25:41 > 0:25:43because there is treatment out there for them

0:25:43 > 0:25:47and they just haven't had it and that was heartbreaking.

0:25:48 > 0:25:50It's just, it's so cruel to listen to that.

0:25:58 > 0:26:01Chloe's health board can't comment on individual cases,

0:26:01 > 0:26:04but do recognise there is a need to increase CBT provision,

0:26:04 > 0:26:07and say they have a robust investment programme

0:26:07 > 0:26:09to improve access to these treatments.

0:26:12 > 0:26:15The Welsh government said that they'd spent £3 million

0:26:15 > 0:26:18on therapies like CBT over the last couple of years.

0:26:18 > 0:26:22But while there is progress, there is more for health boards to do.

0:26:22 > 0:26:25So is the political mood changing in Wales?

0:26:26 > 0:26:28I've come along to speak to

0:26:28 > 0:26:31Plaid Cymru's health spokesman, Rhun ap Iorwerth.

0:26:31 > 0:26:34Yeah, it's not words that we need, really, is it? It's action.

0:26:34 > 0:26:38I think it's positive that people are talking about mental health now,

0:26:38 > 0:26:42as being something that is recognised as an area of health care

0:26:42 > 0:26:45in Wales that absolutely needs changing,

0:26:45 > 0:26:47but we've got to make the investment.

0:26:47 > 0:26:49Unless we have the therapists,

0:26:49 > 0:26:51we can't give the therapy,

0:26:51 > 0:26:55and without the therapy, people with OCD and other mental health

0:26:55 > 0:26:57conditions are not going to be

0:26:57 > 0:27:01able to get the help that I think, and you think, that they should.

0:27:03 > 0:27:06Things are changing and that's really good to hear,

0:27:06 > 0:27:09but I still feel there's a lack of understanding,

0:27:09 > 0:27:13and my concerns are for those people consumed by OCD today.

0:27:13 > 0:27:17People think I'm a nice lady, I'm always happy and chatty, don't they?

0:27:17 > 0:27:22Old people always like me, but they don't see the torment inside.

0:27:22 > 0:27:27It's lonely, and that's why I would love my daughter to get help.

0:27:29 > 0:27:31I see her friends...

0:27:32 > 0:27:35..who have gone off to university.

0:27:35 > 0:27:37I see them carrying on with their lives.

0:27:39 > 0:27:44Most days, I will think about what Chloe has lost.

0:27:48 > 0:27:51It's going to be tough, but you've got to start somewhere.

0:27:52 > 0:27:56And I cannot carry on living with this any longer.

0:27:56 > 0:28:00I've had enough. Just enough.

0:28:00 > 0:28:01So...

0:28:10 > 0:28:13You know, I've met some wonderful people on my journey around Wales.

0:28:14 > 0:28:17And I've heard some truly heartbreaking stories,

0:28:17 > 0:28:19and some of the struggles I recognise myself,

0:28:19 > 0:28:23but I can't help feeling that there are too many people being let down.

0:28:24 > 0:28:29If somebody with OCD is brave enough to knock on the door

0:28:29 > 0:28:31and ask for help,

0:28:31 > 0:28:32it's got to be there.