0:00:04 > 0:00:09Funeral directors help us bury our loved ones.
0:00:09 > 0:00:11One day they'll do the same for us.
0:00:11 > 0:00:17All the family memories, all the pictures of wedding days. It's so sad.
0:00:17 > 0:00:23Death is a certainty but there are many ways to say the final goodbye.
0:00:23 > 0:00:29It's not a proper biker's funeral unless it's freezing and raining! But he's dry.
0:00:29 > 0:00:34Anything legal. We aren't here to be the bastions of good taste.
0:00:34 > 0:00:41We go behind the scenes of Britain's funeral parlours and watch funeral directors at work.
0:00:41 > 0:00:48We reveal how the modern funeral is changing and compare the end of life rituals of different faiths.
0:00:48 > 0:00:52They do it over the phone, just like ordering a pizza.
0:00:52 > 0:00:56I've got five ashes on behalf of families to disperse.
0:00:56 > 0:01:01Religious tradition still matters, but so does personal choice.
0:01:01 > 0:01:06- We will call you when we do the communal prayer.- I want to see him. - It's Islam rules.
0:01:06 > 0:01:11When there's conflict, funeral directors can get caught in the middle.
0:01:11 > 0:01:13We have to wait here. I'm not happy.
0:01:13 > 0:01:18- With only one chance to get it right.- If you do it right, they're your friends for life.
0:01:18 > 0:01:21Do it wrong, they won't forget you.
0:01:21 > 0:01:24That's why I'm a funeral director.
0:01:33 > 0:01:40Britain is becoming less religious, but two out of three people still want a spiritual send-off.
0:01:44 > 0:01:49But when the bereaved have lost contact with their faith,
0:01:49 > 0:01:53organising a funeral can be a bewildering experience.
0:01:53 > 0:01:57Haji Taslim are a Muslim funeral company in East London.
0:01:57 > 0:02:03Ah! Look who it isn't. How late are you at 20 to 11?
0:02:03 > 0:02:09Owners Gulam Taslim and his daughter Moona arrange up to 10 funerals a day
0:02:09 > 0:02:13for a wide range of Muslim customers.
0:02:13 > 0:02:17We deal with all sorts of Muslims, orthodox and very liberal.
0:02:17 > 0:02:21And we try to deal with each case individually.
0:02:21 > 0:02:25We're not fanatics. We are British, after all.
0:02:25 > 0:02:32And we understand quite a few people are Anglified. They want things not as in the Middle East or Asia,
0:02:32 > 0:02:36but in England. And we supply that.
0:02:36 > 0:02:41- Asam Sheik Chan... - A call has come in from a local family.
0:02:41 > 0:02:48- A 70-year-old man has been knocked down.- We'll send a private ambulance to pick up Asam
0:02:48 > 0:02:54and we'll bring him back here. Then the brothers here will give him his Islamic washing.
0:02:54 > 0:02:59- They'll wash him and... - His daughter has contacted Moona for some expert advice.
0:02:59 > 0:03:03Listen, darling, any of this can be changed.
0:03:03 > 0:03:07All right then, Faridah. I'll speak to you soon. No problem.
0:03:07 > 0:03:09Bye.
0:03:11 > 0:03:13Haji Taslim Funeral Service.
0:03:13 > 0:03:20She's like, "I don't know anything about the religion. I was born a Muslim, but don't know about it."
0:03:20 > 0:03:26So she wants someone to hold her hand through it. It's slightly different because she's not sure,
0:03:26 > 0:03:30but very trusting of what I said. "Whatever you say is fine with me."
0:03:30 > 0:03:34She hasn't even looked at it, but, "You said it's good. Do that."
0:03:37 > 0:03:39Here, have your tea.
0:03:41 > 0:03:45At the Sheik Chan's family home, Faridah is comforting her mother.
0:03:45 > 0:03:48On Monday
0:03:48 > 0:03:52my dad went out to get some chips
0:03:52 > 0:03:59and, unfortunately, he was struck by a van. I just can't believe how he's just gone.
0:03:59 > 0:04:02Feeling a bit nervous, are you?
0:04:05 > 0:04:11Faridah always knew her father wanted a Muslim burial, but she no longer practises the faith
0:04:11 > 0:04:13and she's feeling out of her depth.
0:04:14 > 0:04:20You just don't know where to turn, what to do, how to deal with it.
0:04:20 > 0:04:24I've never had to bury anybody before, thank God.
0:04:25 > 0:04:30I was brought up in the Muslim faith, but I'm not a practising Muslim
0:04:30 > 0:04:36and I just want to make sure, you know, that the Man... I call him the Man Upstairs!
0:04:36 > 0:04:38That's how I describe God.
0:04:38 > 0:04:45You know, if I have done anything wrong that He forgives me because I don't know it all.
0:04:45 > 0:04:49I want somebody to say, "Faridah, it needs to be done this way."
0:04:53 > 0:04:57Over half a million people in the UK follow the Hindu religion.
0:05:00 > 0:05:04Hindus believe in cremation. Their funeral rites aren't straightforward,
0:05:04 > 0:05:11but families who need help with the various rituals can turn to a specialist undertaker.
0:05:13 > 0:05:18These are funerals I've done previously. We need to bring the ashes in storage.
0:05:18 > 0:05:23Chandu Tailor has been organising Hindu funerals for 20 years.
0:05:25 > 0:05:27We have a full fridge today.
0:05:27 > 0:05:33Sorry, I've not got tracking myself, but could you track my coffin?
0:05:34 > 0:05:39'When a Hindu family is bereaved, it feels like the sky has fallen in.
0:05:39 > 0:05:43'Hindu funerals are quite complicated, ritually.
0:05:43 > 0:05:46'Most families need support,'
0:05:46 > 0:05:50so instead of the Hindu family guiding the funeral director,
0:05:50 > 0:05:54it's my job to guide them through the whole thing.
0:05:54 > 0:05:59Hindu funeral rituals help the soul on its journey to the next life.
0:06:01 > 0:06:05For Chandu, getting everything right is a big responsibility.
0:06:08 > 0:06:11The first job is washing the body.
0:06:11 > 0:06:19Because we are going to pray to the body, the body should be cleansed and ritually washed.
0:06:19 > 0:06:24If you went in a temple and did prayers, all the deities have been washed and dressed
0:06:24 > 0:06:28so the body must be cleansed in that manner.
0:06:28 > 0:06:33Hindus believe that after death the soul leaves the body.
0:06:33 > 0:06:39It passes over to the spiritual world or it's reincarnated in another earthly body,
0:06:39 > 0:06:43but this separation of body and soul doesn't happen immediately.
0:06:43 > 0:06:50We believe that, at the moment, the soul of this gentleman is travelling around him.
0:06:50 > 0:06:55We believe that it is watching us and hearing us.
0:06:55 > 0:06:59I think the soul is lost in kind of no man's land.
0:06:59 > 0:07:03It's lived in a body for as long as it has lived
0:07:03 > 0:07:09and now the rituals are giving... the rituals are done in order to give the soul a message
0:07:09 > 0:07:13that this body is going to be no longer for it to return back to.
0:07:23 > 0:07:27Preparations for Asam Sheik Chan's Muslim funeral are underway.
0:07:29 > 0:07:33Muslims want to be buried as quickly as possible after death
0:07:33 > 0:07:38so the soul can make a fast journey to eternal peace.
0:07:38 > 0:07:42They're going to give you something called an interim death certificate.
0:07:42 > 0:07:48The funeral usually begins in the mosque, but the family want prayers to be said at home.
0:07:48 > 0:07:54If you come to the mosque, prayers are done in Arabic, it can be done quickly and be confusing.
0:07:54 > 0:08:01Before you know it, the funeral service is done and they feel they haven't been a part or understood it
0:08:01 > 0:08:05and that I don't think would be very fair.
0:08:05 > 0:08:08Hi, you wanted to speak to me.
0:08:08 > 0:08:12It's births, deaths and marriages. You always turn to religion.
0:08:12 > 0:08:17She felt it was important because it's what her dad would have wanted. And her mum.
0:08:17 > 0:08:20You get that a lot.
0:08:20 > 0:08:24The Sheik Chan family are originally from Mauritius
0:08:24 > 0:08:30and this is the first funeral they've arranged in Britain. There's a lot to learn in a short time.
0:08:30 > 0:08:36'I'm dealing with my father dying, obviously, and I'm having to deal with the English laws
0:08:36 > 0:08:42'of post mortems and things like that. There's so many things to sort out'
0:08:42 > 0:08:47and then the biggest thing of all is the Muslim funeral.
0:08:47 > 0:08:51That's the biggest thing, making sure that's all done properly.
0:08:51 > 0:08:54And by the Koran. So, yeah.
0:08:56 > 0:09:02Tomorrow this is where the room that the men will be in to do the prayers.
0:09:02 > 0:09:06All the furniture has been moved over to this side
0:09:06 > 0:09:12and then all the mats will be laid on the floor here, prayer mats.
0:09:12 > 0:09:18'When I was growing up as a child, my brother and I were sent to an Arabic school
0:09:18 > 0:09:20'and learned to read the Koran.'
0:09:20 > 0:09:26I stopped when I was about 16 and, you know, if you don't practise it, you start to forget.
0:09:28 > 0:09:32For Faridah, a non-practising Muslim with a liberal outlook,
0:09:32 > 0:09:36parts of the ceremony will be challenging.
0:09:36 > 0:09:38I was told
0:09:38 > 0:09:42not to...cry too much, especially when...
0:09:42 > 0:09:47It can't be helped if I do cry, but females are not supposed to cry too much
0:09:47 > 0:09:53because it will be dragging my father's soul down. I've got to have my organisation head on,
0:09:53 > 0:09:59rather than have my emotional head on. The main thing is I've got to be supportive for my mum.
0:09:59 > 0:10:04Cos if I break down, I don't know how she's going to be.
0:10:04 > 0:10:06So I've got to be strong for her.
0:10:13 > 0:10:18Chandu Tailor speaking. Is all in order? Lovely jubbly.
0:10:18 > 0:10:22Chandu Tailor is arranging the funeral of an elderly Hindu man.
0:10:22 > 0:10:27Before he visits the family, there's an important job to do.
0:10:27 > 0:10:34He's putting together a kit bag of Hindu ritual items to make things easier for the bereaved.
0:10:34 > 0:10:38'These items are not something that anybody has in their house.'
0:10:38 > 0:10:42And instead of the family going out and buying all these things,
0:10:42 > 0:10:47it's part of our package that we provide it to save them shopping for half a day.
0:10:47 > 0:10:53They'll be placed around the body during funeral prayers, in preparation for cremation.
0:10:53 > 0:10:57In here we have chanting beads and a piece of sandalwood.
0:10:57 > 0:11:02Sandalwood used to stop the smell of burning flesh.
0:11:04 > 0:11:06Chandu stocks another key item.
0:11:07 > 0:11:12Water from the sacred River Ganges, bottled and shipped over from India.
0:11:12 > 0:11:16Ganges water is the holy water equivalent to the Christians.
0:11:16 > 0:11:21It's normally put in the mouth of the person who has passed away.
0:11:21 > 0:11:26You know, not a lot goes in, obviously. A few drops are put in their mouth.
0:11:26 > 0:11:31Fresh food to feed the soul will be supplied by the family.
0:11:31 > 0:11:35They provide four coconuts, whole coconuts with water in them.
0:11:35 > 0:11:39It has got food and water, both combined in it.
0:11:39 > 0:11:43That will assist in the final journey of the body to be going on.
0:11:43 > 0:11:47- The journey where...? - The journey to the next life.
0:11:48 > 0:11:53- Is that a long journey? - Well, that's something I don't know.
0:11:53 > 0:11:55That's something I cannot answer.
0:11:55 > 0:12:01I wish I had an answer for that one, but my journey finishes at the crematorium
0:12:01 > 0:12:04and that's as far as I'm going to take that.
0:12:09 > 0:12:16Tomorrow's Hindu funeral is for 82-year-old Manubhai Patel, who owned a local Indian sweet shop.
0:12:16 > 0:12:20His grandson Ash is looking after the business.
0:12:23 > 0:12:27We are where we are because of my grandfather.
0:12:27 > 0:12:30If it wasn't for him, we wouldn't have what we've got.
0:12:30 > 0:12:34He used to take me to nursery, take me on shopping trips.
0:12:34 > 0:12:39He's done everything. He even bought me my first trainers.
0:12:40 > 0:12:47It's Ash's first experience of a funeral for a close relative. There's a lot to take in.
0:12:47 > 0:12:50When my grandfather actually passed away,
0:12:50 > 0:12:56we didn't know what was happening next. You know, you have to wait for the death certificate,
0:12:56 > 0:12:58then we had to phone Chandu Tailor.
0:12:58 > 0:13:01Without them, we'd be completely lost.
0:13:04 > 0:13:10Chandu is on his way to the Patel family home where tomorrow's funeral will begin.
0:13:10 > 0:13:15When a person has lived in a house for their life,
0:13:15 > 0:13:20the soul gets attached to the house as well.
0:13:20 > 0:13:25So I believe that the rituals are done in the house
0:13:25 > 0:13:29in order to give the soul a message to now move on.
0:13:29 > 0:13:34Visiting the house gives him a chance to check out the lay of the land.
0:13:34 > 0:13:38We need to make sure that we can bring the coffin in.
0:13:38 > 0:13:44There's nothing worse than turning up and the coffin doesn't go in, or something critical like that.
0:13:44 > 0:13:50So that's the reason why we always go to the house to make the arrangements.
0:13:50 > 0:13:52That was his place.
0:13:54 > 0:13:58Inside, the extended family have gathered.
0:14:05 > 0:14:11Chandu hands over the bag of ritual items and goes through the final arrangements.
0:14:11 > 0:14:14He's already resting in my place.
0:14:17 > 0:14:21Limousine, chauffeur-driven to the crematorium.
0:14:21 > 0:14:26Performing the traditional Hindu funeral rites is a priority for the family,
0:14:26 > 0:14:30but they also want to add a personal touch.
0:14:31 > 0:14:37We decided to get the horse and carriage, mainly because of his love for animals.
0:14:37 > 0:14:43No matter, he would come into the house, he would always have the Discovery Channel on
0:14:43 > 0:14:47and his animal programmes about wildlife and things.
0:14:47 > 0:14:53So we made the phone call to Chandu and said, "Can we upgrade it to two white horses for him?"
0:14:53 > 0:14:59Tomorrow, a horse-drawn carriage will carry Ash's grandfather to the crematorium.
0:15:11 > 0:15:18Many undertakers are born into a family firm, but Damian Melville came into the trade by chance.
0:15:18 > 0:15:21You all right?
0:15:23 > 0:15:25I see you're busy!
0:15:25 > 0:15:32I started working in the industry because it was convenient, but I ended up liking it
0:15:32 > 0:15:38and then I decided this is where I wanted to be for the rest of my days as such.
0:15:38 > 0:15:45With a background in customer services, Damian's more events manager than ritual expert.
0:15:45 > 0:15:49His focus is the smooth running of the day.
0:15:49 > 0:15:52Would you please stand?
0:15:52 > 0:15:55ORGAN PLAYS SOLEMNLY
0:15:55 > 0:16:02My role is literally just keeping an eye on everything. I've reorganised the cars. We'd caused a roadblock.
0:16:02 > 0:16:09To the normal local residents' dismay, but that's life, innit? They'll have to wait a little bit.
0:16:09 > 0:16:13- You know it's illegal?- Most of Damian's funerals are Christian.
0:16:13 > 0:16:17He leaves the religious bits to the church.
0:16:17 > 0:16:21# Allelujah A-a-llelujah... #
0:16:21 > 0:16:25If I'm honest, I don't really do church. It's not really my thing.
0:16:25 > 0:16:32I'll go out of respect for certain people, but church doesn't really do anything for me.
0:16:32 > 0:16:35That's just my personal opinion.
0:16:36 > 0:16:42Seeing a gap in the market, he started his very own first-generation business.
0:16:44 > 0:16:46So...it's freezing in here.
0:16:47 > 0:16:53This is where I will store my... where my guests will stay when they are here with me.
0:16:53 > 0:16:59I know there's lots of different religious beliefs about the spirit leaving the soul,
0:16:59 > 0:17:04but as far as I'm concerned that is still your wife or uncle,
0:17:04 > 0:17:07niece, nephew, what have you.
0:17:07 > 0:17:11And I will treat them as if they are still that person.
0:17:12 > 0:17:16Today Damian is organising a funeral for the wife of Arnold Moses.
0:17:16 > 0:17:21Myrtle died at the age of 81, following a long illness.
0:17:21 > 0:17:28- Er...and Myrtle's last occupation? She was a retired... - Traffic warden.
0:17:28 > 0:17:33Traffic warden. Did that mean you could park wherever you wanted?
0:17:35 > 0:17:39Now are there any hymns that you want sung in the chapel?
0:17:39 > 0:17:43- Yes, I would like at least two songs, really.- Yeah.
0:17:43 > 0:17:51- If you just let me know what those are, I can tell the crematorium because it's what you'd like.- Yes.
0:17:51 > 0:17:54'The key thing that I do is I listen,
0:17:54 > 0:17:58'rather than me barking at them, "This is what we're going to do."'
0:17:58 > 0:18:05And if they don't know what they want, that's when I'll get involved and gently provide them
0:18:05 > 0:18:07'with options and what have you.'
0:18:07 > 0:18:11So you've got Myrtle's clothes, haven't you?
0:18:11 > 0:18:16Arnold's chosen the clothes and jewellery that Myrtle will wear for her funeral.
0:18:16 > 0:18:21She'd usually wear dentures, but she wasn't wearing them when she died.
0:18:21 > 0:18:26- If they can be put in. - In here is...her slippers.
0:18:26 > 0:18:30Yes. And a pair of socks and her glasses.
0:18:30 > 0:18:33- And this is...- Her lipstick.
0:18:33 > 0:18:36- Yes.- OK. Yeah, that's fine.
0:18:36 > 0:18:43'I always say to the family, "Bring all the clothes they'd wear if they were going to something special."
0:18:43 > 0:18:46'You know, this is their final send-off.'
0:18:46 > 0:18:48No, you've got everything.
0:18:48 > 0:18:51'There are people that I know of'
0:18:51 > 0:18:55that are still with us that have got their funeral outfits ready.
0:18:55 > 0:19:00- So... - They plan their outfits before? - Yeah, and they tell their children,
0:19:00 > 0:19:06"These are the clothes that I want to be dressed in." So I've heard it all.
0:19:08 > 0:19:12Arnold was married to Myrtle for 32 years.
0:19:16 > 0:19:19We met at a party.
0:19:19 > 0:19:22A bossy type sometimes, you know.
0:19:23 > 0:19:25But...
0:19:27 > 0:19:30..she was great.
0:19:30 > 0:19:32A jolly person.
0:19:32 > 0:19:38They shared a strong Christian faith and, in death, that faith has never been more important.
0:19:38 > 0:19:43I always wanted her to get a blessing before she goes.
0:19:43 > 0:19:46So the minister came with me.
0:19:46 > 0:19:52When we got to the hospital, the charge nurse took us to a room
0:19:52 > 0:19:54and said,
0:19:56 > 0:19:58oh, she was sorry,
0:19:58 > 0:20:01but bad news.
0:20:01 > 0:20:03She was gone.
0:20:03 > 0:20:08I said, "What?!" She was dead.
0:20:10 > 0:20:14That particular time when she died, that was a very, very special time.
0:20:14 > 0:20:20And if I was there I'd have felt 100% better now.
0:20:20 > 0:20:25So I'm prepared to... give her a good funeral.
0:20:25 > 0:20:30You know, send her off...on a high.
0:20:37 > 0:20:42Religion can help the living come to terms with death,
0:20:42 > 0:20:48but the bereaved are also embracing new ideas to help deal with their loss.
0:20:49 > 0:20:54Rachel Wallace is one of Britain's first funeral photographers,
0:20:54 > 0:20:59providing a lasting memory of a day most people would choose to forget.
0:21:00 > 0:21:07Today she's in Buckinghamshire checking out locations for a new booking.
0:21:09 > 0:21:16We photograph from the beginning. We have scans of babies, we have photographs of the birth,
0:21:16 > 0:21:21we have children, teenagers, we have weddings, but we don't have funerals. Why not?
0:21:21 > 0:21:27That's the end of the story, the closing chapter. That's what it is. A closure.
0:21:27 > 0:21:32'I really consciously don't take pictures of people who are sobbing,
0:21:32 > 0:21:38'crying. You don't want to remind people of the grief and the sadness.'
0:21:38 > 0:21:44I think there are moments in these occasions where people do smile and laugh and remember
0:21:44 > 0:21:46and you pick up on those things.
0:21:48 > 0:21:53Tomorrow's funeral is for Derek Hunt, a successful businessman,
0:21:53 > 0:21:57who died at the age of 72 after a long illness.
0:21:59 > 0:22:06Derek's son, Matthew, wanted a funeral that would reflect his father's life.
0:22:06 > 0:22:09People talk about being larger than life. He was just life.
0:22:09 > 0:22:16He was like the Don Corleone of this family. Loved him dearly. Would have done anything for him.
0:22:16 > 0:22:22Matthew is happy to break with tradition and have a photographer at the service.
0:22:22 > 0:22:28Having a photographer arranged for the funeral isn't everybody's cup of tea,
0:22:28 > 0:22:34but it suited us and if somebody has had a good and full life, why not document it
0:22:34 > 0:22:41and have a living memory of all the people there to celebrate that person's life?
0:22:41 > 0:22:48The funeral service will reflect Derek's Christian beliefs and his love of New Orleans jazz.
0:22:49 > 0:22:54The decision to have a jazz band was made for us completely.
0:22:54 > 0:22:59We didn't have to make that decision at all. That was his wish.
0:22:59 > 0:23:06The decision to go ahead with a Methodist minister was also made for us because of his strong faith.
0:23:06 > 0:23:11All his life. We all have two sides of life. If you were,
0:23:11 > 0:23:17like my dad, a very flamboyant character, you needed them two for the balance.
0:23:17 > 0:23:22You needed the sombre side of religion and the joyful side of music.
0:23:28 > 0:23:33Rachel's outside the family home, planning her shots for the funeral.
0:23:33 > 0:23:35So there's the house.
0:23:35 > 0:23:41They're going to come out there and I'm going to assume they'll come down the road here.
0:23:41 > 0:23:46Rachel believes her photographs can help grieving families come to terms with their loss.
0:23:46 > 0:23:52The whole purpose of it, for me, is the pictures that they get afterwards.
0:23:52 > 0:23:53And...
0:23:54 > 0:23:59..when they look through the book, they just talk and talk and talk
0:23:59 > 0:24:06about, "Oh, there's so-and-so. She was the best friend. And this person brought me up."
0:24:06 > 0:24:11And all these details come out and they're talking and this is what people don't do about death.
0:24:11 > 0:24:16They don't talk about it. That's going to be lovely.
0:24:25 > 0:24:29It's the day of Asam Sheik Chan's Muslim funeral.
0:24:32 > 0:24:37Gulam Taslim is taking the body to the family home for the start of the ceremony.
0:24:37 > 0:24:41Today he will also be leading the prayers.
0:24:41 > 0:24:45When people die, people have two thoughts.
0:24:45 > 0:24:52One is that they want to do a nice funeral and they want the religious part of it as well,
0:24:52 > 0:24:55even if they're not practising. Christians and Jews as well.
0:24:55 > 0:25:0080% of my clients are Muslims, but they don't pray five times a day
0:25:00 > 0:25:05and I know they want some kind of peace from religion, from Islam.
0:25:05 > 0:25:08So I try to provide that.
0:25:08 > 0:25:13Sometimes death turns people more to religion
0:25:13 > 0:25:18because they realise that they're not going to live forever
0:25:18 > 0:25:24and they realise that being good and listening to the teachings of our Holy Prophet and the Koran
0:25:24 > 0:25:27are a way to going to heaven.
0:25:29 > 0:25:32In Tottenham, Damian's preparing to hit the road.
0:25:34 > 0:25:39I have to look top-notch because it's a show, essentially.
0:25:39 > 0:25:41Plus I'm quite vain as well.
0:25:46 > 0:25:50Back in the old days, in Victorian times,
0:25:50 > 0:25:56undertakers were called undertakers because they undertook the arrangements for the funeral.
0:25:56 > 0:26:02So it was usually gentlemen and top hats were a big thing in the Victorian era,
0:26:02 > 0:26:06so it's just carried through. That's it. All ready to go.
0:26:07 > 0:26:12Chandu has designed his own uniform with an Indian twist.
0:26:14 > 0:26:20I've decided to cross between the Indian sherwani, which is the ceremonial coat,
0:26:20 > 0:26:23and a frock coat
0:26:23 > 0:26:25to give me the Indian fusion.
0:26:26 > 0:26:31You need to make sure the top hat always fits snug
0:26:31 > 0:26:33in any windy conditions.
0:26:33 > 0:26:38I have been told by others that I am dressed a little bit over the top,
0:26:38 > 0:26:40but that's how it's supposed to be.
0:26:40 > 0:26:45People think that by looking at me it's the funeral to die for.
0:26:45 > 0:26:49They feel like dying when they see me.
0:26:55 > 0:27:01Chandu is taking the body of Manubhai Patel back to the family home for the start of his funeral.
0:27:13 > 0:27:20The rear view mirror in this car is completely redundant. You can only see the coffin in it!
0:27:20 > 0:27:23We have to get used to side mirrors on this one.
0:27:33 > 0:27:37Inside the house, the coffin will be opened
0:27:37 > 0:27:42and a Hindu priest will lead prayers. The ceremony can last up to two hours.
0:27:51 > 0:27:55The family's going to go round the coffin, chanting.
0:27:55 > 0:28:01Touching the hands and the feet. We normally put Ganges water in their mouth
0:28:01 > 0:28:05and saying the farewell to the body itself.
0:28:05 > 0:28:10The atmosphere is emotionally quite charged.
0:28:11 > 0:28:15This is the last time they're going to see the person.
0:28:16 > 0:28:21Once the ceremony is completed, I'm the one who closes the lid.
0:28:23 > 0:28:27Start drifting in slowly. Slowly drifting in.
0:28:38 > 0:28:42It's always a very emotional time when the coffin's getting closed.
0:28:42 > 0:28:46We just have to do our best and make things flow.
0:28:52 > 0:28:54You need to give a hand.
0:28:54 > 0:28:57We'll start getting late.
0:29:08 > 0:29:12And the dustcart is coming. We'll need to go before him, yeah.
0:29:12 > 0:29:15We can't have him hanging around us.
0:29:15 > 0:29:20The funeral cortege sets off for the crematorium.
0:29:29 > 0:29:36At the ceremony, Manubhai's grandson Ash has one last chance to say goodbye.
0:29:36 > 0:29:42On behalf of my Pa and my entire family, I'd like to thank you all for turning up today
0:29:42 > 0:29:44and showing my granddad respect.
0:29:44 > 0:29:50'I'm just hoping that everything that we've done will help his soul move on.
0:29:50 > 0:29:52'We're going to miss him dearly.
0:29:52 > 0:29:57'He was a great husband, a great father,
0:29:58 > 0:30:02'but, more importantly to me, an amazing grandfather.
0:30:02 > 0:30:10'He taught us everything that we know today. We'll miss you and, God, look after him.'
0:30:31 > 0:30:37Rachel has arrived to photograph the funeral of businessman Derek Hunt.
0:30:37 > 0:30:39Camera, camera.
0:30:39 > 0:30:41Take the sunglasses off.
0:30:41 > 0:30:48- She's come to the house to take pictures of the family leaving. - It's all very quiet.
0:30:48 > 0:30:50I'll just walk past.
0:30:50 > 0:30:54I don't really want to go and intrude.
0:30:55 > 0:30:59The New Orleans band are preparing to lead the funeral cortege,
0:30:59 > 0:31:05an unusual opening to the day that will make Rachel's job a lot more complicated.
0:31:05 > 0:31:09- What time do you start playing? - Five minutes ago!
0:31:10 > 0:31:13- Excellent(!)- I'm a drummer! Don't ask awkward questions.
0:31:13 > 0:31:18- Hello, morning. How are you? - A bit emotional.- Aww.
0:31:18 > 0:31:22- Can you take a shot for me? - Of course. That's what I'm here for.
0:31:22 > 0:31:26Matthew wants Rachel to take a special picture.
0:31:26 > 0:31:32- My dad's favourite view was that. - I thought you were going to say that.
0:31:32 > 0:31:38And obviously this is all... This is where he sat. This is where we tried to get him home.
0:31:38 > 0:31:43- We got him home. That's where he wanted to look when he died. - That's beautiful. OK.
0:31:46 > 0:31:52That's really nice. I'll put that in the album, at the start, for a nice starting feel.
0:32:00 > 0:32:05Not quite sure whether to go for the family or for the jazz band.
0:32:11 > 0:32:13JAZZ BAND STRIKES UP
0:32:20 > 0:32:24This is only the first stage of the procession.
0:32:24 > 0:32:29Rachel needs to race ahead to stay in front of the funeral cortege.
0:32:30 > 0:32:36She knows from experience that the most emotional part of Derek's funeral is yet to come.
0:32:37 > 0:32:42The mood can change, it can change so completely at the crematorium
0:32:42 > 0:32:47because the point of today is the service and the committal
0:32:47 > 0:32:51of his body and the departure from the family
0:32:51 > 0:32:55and so the mood could change completely at the crematorium.
0:32:59 > 0:33:04Lift it up, gentlemen, with the trolley. That's it. Now let it down.
0:33:04 > 0:33:10Asam Sheik Chan's body has been brought to the family home in East London for Muslim funeral prayers.
0:33:12 > 0:33:17Funeral director Gulam Taslim will lead the ceremony.
0:33:17 > 0:33:21- Are there people who want to view? - Yes.- There are.
0:33:21 > 0:33:27- So I'd like to do that first before we do the prayers. - I'll make sure my mum's OK with it.
0:33:27 > 0:33:31Just don't do anything yet. I need to speak to my mother.
0:33:31 > 0:33:33Mummy...
0:33:33 > 0:33:40Asam's son, Farook, brings his mother Rassulbee to the coffin to view her husband's body.
0:33:40 > 0:33:45- I'm scared I'm going to faint! - Don't worry. Try to be strong.
0:33:51 > 0:33:55- I want to give him a kiss. - I've got you.
0:33:55 > 0:33:57Asam, bye-bye.
0:33:59 > 0:34:02He's so cold, Pauline.
0:34:02 > 0:34:05- It's OK, Mummy. - Bye-bye, Asam.
0:34:06 > 0:34:08Bye-bye.
0:34:08 > 0:34:13- Why's he so freezing like this? - Because he's not with us.
0:34:14 > 0:34:17Asam, you leave me, Asam.
0:34:17 > 0:34:19Asam, you leave me!
0:34:21 > 0:34:23All right, it's OK.
0:34:23 > 0:34:25Sit down, Mummy.
0:34:28 > 0:34:30Mummy, sit down, sit down.
0:34:32 > 0:34:34- So you did manage.- Yes.
0:34:34 > 0:34:37You're stronger than you think.
0:34:42 > 0:34:47Is there anyone who would like to join the prayer? Ladies are welcome to pray at the back, please.
0:34:47 > 0:34:49Gentlemen at the front.
0:34:51 > 0:34:53PRAYERS BEGIN
0:35:09 > 0:35:13Up until now, the whole family have stayed close to Asam's coffin,
0:35:13 > 0:35:21but according to orthodox Muslim teaching, women can't watch the final stages of the funeral.
0:35:21 > 0:35:29Women don't attend at the cemetery. It's from the time of the prophet Mohammed, may peace be upon him.
0:35:29 > 0:35:34The prophet time, when somebody passed away, the men would go and bury. It's very physical.
0:35:35 > 0:35:42We don't agree with having too much emotion, screaming or wailing or getting very upset.
0:35:42 > 0:35:48And we don't really encourage women and men hanging about together too much anyway.
0:35:48 > 0:35:54In Britain, a compromise is often found. The women can go into the cemetery,
0:35:54 > 0:35:58but they'll have to keep their distance from the actual burial.
0:35:58 > 0:36:05It's not encouraged, but she can go. But we'll ask you to step back at the point of interment.
0:36:05 > 0:36:11After interment, she can go to the graveside. So it's important to meet the religious needs,
0:36:11 > 0:36:18but also make sure that they are having a chance to get closure, say goodbye.
0:36:27 > 0:36:33We have the on-going cycle of funerals and ashes and funerals and ashes.
0:36:35 > 0:36:41Chandu Tailor's on his way to the cremation of an elderly Hindu woman.
0:36:41 > 0:36:47Hindus believe that burning the body gives the soul a clear sign that it has to move on.
0:36:47 > 0:36:50Traditionally, it would be done on an open-air funeral pyre,
0:36:50 > 0:36:57but most British Hindus have to accept the local crematorium is more practical.
0:36:57 > 0:37:04In India, all the ladies never went to the crematorium. Ladies didn't go to the crematorium at all, actually.
0:37:04 > 0:37:10But since we are in more of a clinical and organised set-up here in England,
0:37:10 > 0:37:15we have an equal attendance. Also in the crematorium, we segregate.
0:37:15 > 0:37:19Ladies would sit separately to the gents.
0:37:21 > 0:37:2590-year-old Revaben Patel died in a nursing home,
0:37:25 > 0:37:31so the funeral rites, which usually take place at the family home, are in the crematorium chapel.
0:37:39 > 0:37:41PRAYERS
0:37:44 > 0:37:51At most funerals, the closing of the crematorium curtains is the last time the bereaved see the deceased.
0:37:55 > 0:38:00But some crematoriums have a special viewing window for Hindu mourners.
0:38:00 > 0:38:07Traditionally in India, we witness open pyres for cremating our loved ones.
0:38:07 > 0:38:12And it has been in the mindset and in our scriptures,
0:38:12 > 0:38:19but an equivalent to watching an open pyre is seeing the coffin going in and catching alight.
0:38:19 > 0:38:26And if they stayed here long enough they can see the flames through the glass viewing panels
0:38:26 > 0:38:33on the door. One thing is they are detaching themselves from the person who has passed away.
0:38:33 > 0:38:38And, secondly, it's also sending a message to the soul that the body is now cremated,
0:38:38 > 0:38:45it needs to move on into its next reincarnation and not come back to the body.
0:39:02 > 0:39:03WEEPING
0:39:12 > 0:39:16Seeing the coffin catching alight is quite an emotional time.
0:39:16 > 0:39:20Some families need a bit of composure time in here
0:39:20 > 0:39:26because then they have to come out and do the final condolences to families who have come to see them.
0:39:36 > 0:39:42# ..happy day When Jesus washed my sins away... #
0:39:42 > 0:39:49The Christian funeral of Arnold's wife Myrtle is drawing to a close at the crematorium.
0:39:49 > 0:39:54Hymns have been sung, prayers have been said.
0:39:55 > 0:40:01Her committal should be the final stage of the ceremony, but Arnold has added a personal touch.
0:40:04 > 0:40:08Outside, Damian makes sure everything is in place.
0:40:08 > 0:40:11Yeah, I think this will be a nice place. What do you reckon?
0:40:11 > 0:40:14Will they be all right?
0:40:14 > 0:40:16Oh, that's super.
0:40:16 > 0:40:21Those are the doves that have just arrived for Arnold. He wanted to release two doves.
0:40:21 > 0:40:23See you boys later.
0:40:23 > 0:40:29- He wants to release two doves. - How's it going today?- Yeah, it's going perfectly so far.
0:40:29 > 0:40:34But because it's only a committal, I've got a very short space of time.
0:40:34 > 0:40:38They'll be coming out in about five minutes.
0:40:38 > 0:40:41# Happy day
0:40:41 > 0:40:44# When Jesus washed
0:40:44 > 0:40:48# My sins away
0:40:50 > 0:40:53# He taught me how... #
0:40:53 > 0:40:57'He giveth and He taketh. Blessed be His name, the Almighty.
0:40:59 > 0:41:01'She was suffering.
0:41:03 > 0:41:05'She's no longer suffering.
0:41:05 > 0:41:08'She'll always be in my heart.
0:41:09 > 0:41:11'Always.
0:41:12 > 0:41:14'Goodbye.
0:41:16 > 0:41:18'God bless.'
0:41:20 > 0:41:23Whenever you're ready, Arnold.
0:41:51 > 0:41:56When they let go of that dove, it's almost like they're letting go of their loved one.
0:41:56 > 0:42:00He wanted to finish singing his wife's favourite hymn
0:42:00 > 0:42:03before he actually let go.
0:42:04 > 0:42:07Which is sweet. He's a sweet man.
0:42:07 > 0:42:14What were you thinking as you were sat listening to them sing and after the committal in that chapel?
0:42:14 > 0:42:19Sometimes I might feel sad when I'm listening to a church service or to a committal,
0:42:19 > 0:42:24but there was so much going on I didn't really get the chance to have any emotions today.
0:42:24 > 0:42:30I try to keep them to one side anyway. I don't mean that in a cruel way.
0:42:30 > 0:42:32I can't take on-board their grief
0:42:32 > 0:42:37because then I won't be able to do what I'm able to do.
0:42:44 > 0:42:51- In Buckinghamshire, Rachel's in a jam.- Oh, please, don't tell me we're behind the jazz band!
0:42:51 > 0:42:55She's out of position for a vital shot. The family have requested
0:42:55 > 0:43:01a picture of the band approaching the crematorium, but on the driveway it's gridlock.
0:43:01 > 0:43:06No! If the band members arrive, they'll start playing. There's another one.
0:43:06 > 0:43:10No, stop! I might ditch the car and run.
0:43:10 > 0:43:12Oh, I think I will. Yeah, I will.
0:43:12 > 0:43:15- BAND PLAYS - Ah!
0:43:17 > 0:43:18Hold on.
0:43:18 > 0:43:21If I cut through there...
0:43:21 > 0:43:25- BREATHLESS: - Here's hoping no one steals this.
0:43:28 > 0:43:33To get ahead of the band, she's forced to ditch her second camera.
0:43:39 > 0:43:42A change of mood.
0:43:42 > 0:43:44- SHUTTER CLICKS - That's nice.
0:44:03 > 0:44:08# Amazing grace... #
0:44:08 > 0:44:14Clearly, when we lose somebody special in our lives it can feel like a little bit of us has died.
0:44:14 > 0:44:20And the realisation of that makes us feel sad and sorrowful.
0:44:20 > 0:44:25But I hope alongside that emotion another one will begin to percolate through
0:44:25 > 0:44:29and it's one of thanksgiving and celebration.
0:44:29 > 0:44:34# ..like me-e-e-e
0:44:35 > 0:44:40# I once
0:44:40 > 0:44:42# was lost... #
0:44:42 > 0:44:46As many of you may have witnessed, Dad was a bit accident prone.
0:44:46 > 0:44:51Dad got up one morning, went out in his dressing gown to feed his fish
0:44:51 > 0:44:57and managed to trip over the electric fence surrounding the pond. He was nicknamed Swampy for a while!
0:44:57 > 0:44:59LAUGHTER
0:44:59 > 0:45:05# ..now I see. #
0:45:16 > 0:45:20It was lovely, the way they all came up and patted him goodbye.
0:45:20 > 0:45:24By the time I get to my funeral, it's going to be perfect.
0:45:24 > 0:45:28I'll have all these little touches in that I didn't know people did.
0:45:36 > 0:45:43The burial of Asam Sheik Chan will take place at the Muslim Gardens of Peace on the outskirts of London.
0:45:44 > 0:45:50As a dedicated Muslim cemetery, there are no flowers on the grave, no coffins
0:45:50 > 0:45:55and, at the point of burial, no women.
0:46:00 > 0:46:02Islamic teachings
0:46:02 > 0:46:06originating in... in Saudi Arabia,
0:46:07 > 0:46:13where they do not... they do not cater for women
0:46:13 > 0:46:17to have anything to do with the funeral whatsoever.
0:46:17 > 0:46:23So the cemetery we're going to will not allow the women to be graveside
0:46:23 > 0:46:27when we lower the coffin, the person, into the grave.
0:46:27 > 0:46:32In Saudi Arabia, women don't go to the graveyard unless they're actually dead.
0:46:34 > 0:46:37But here we're living in the 21st century
0:46:37 > 0:46:42and Islam is a scientific religion and a very forward-looking religion.
0:46:42 > 0:46:48If you want to be forward-thinking. Or you can be very backward-looking and go back to medieval times.
0:46:48 > 0:46:53I try to avoid that without compromising Islam.
0:46:56 > 0:47:02The women will be allowed to go to the graveside after the men have finished the burial.
0:47:02 > 0:47:07Asam's widow, Rassulbee, is upset that she can't be with her husband.
0:47:07 > 0:47:12We'll give you a signal. You stay here. The men and I will go now.
0:47:12 > 0:47:18- We will call you when we do the communal prayer. - I want to see him going in.
0:47:18 > 0:47:21Normally they don't allow. I have no objection,
0:47:21 > 0:47:26but you're welcome to walk discreetly, quietly behind us. OK?
0:47:27 > 0:47:33It's not my rules. It's Islam rules. And it's a Muslim funeral and it's a Muslim cemetery.
0:47:33 > 0:47:37You can't see him going down in the hole?
0:47:37 > 0:47:43- No, they don't allow, ma'am. If someone else objects, that's what I'm worried about.- OK.
0:47:43 > 0:47:46What has Faridah said?
0:47:46 > 0:47:48Wait here?
0:47:48 > 0:47:51Gentlemen, are you ready?
0:47:51 > 0:47:53Gentlemen...
0:47:55 > 0:47:59Gentlemen, would you like to come, please?
0:48:07 > 0:48:09Lift it up and over. Thank you.
0:48:11 > 0:48:14Daughter Faridah is also frustrated.
0:48:16 > 0:48:20Women are not allowed to... to be there,
0:48:20 > 0:48:23which I'm not happy about, but I'll...
0:48:23 > 0:48:26I'll have to accept.
0:48:26 > 0:48:31But, yes, I presume that once he's been buried, then we can all go and pay our respects.
0:48:31 > 0:48:33PRAYERS
0:48:40 > 0:48:45I have created you from the earth. To the earth you shall return.
0:48:45 > 0:48:49And from the earth I shall resurrect you.
0:48:49 > 0:48:52We just have to wait here and I'm not happy about that.
0:48:52 > 0:48:55Can you call the ladies, please?
0:48:58 > 0:49:03Only when the body is covered up can the women pay their last respects.
0:49:09 > 0:49:16Thank you, ladies, for attending. Thank you. God give you peace and love, good memories, I hope.
0:49:16 > 0:49:18Yes? Good memories?
0:49:18 > 0:49:22Thank you, everybody. Thank you, goodbye.
0:49:22 > 0:49:24- Bye-bye.- Thank you. Thank you.
0:49:29 > 0:49:35Islam is a very flexible religion, providing you're not trying to abuse that flexibility
0:49:35 > 0:49:41but at the same time I have to take in mind this is a woman whose loved person has died.
0:49:41 > 0:49:45I've got to take her into consideration. You think about it.
0:49:45 > 0:49:50Not only as a funeral director have I got duties to perform,
0:49:50 > 0:49:55but also as a Muslim I have duties to perform, too.
0:49:55 > 0:49:57So...you think
0:49:57 > 0:50:01and, uh, I hope I do it right.
0:50:12 > 0:50:16Five weeks have passed since the funeral of Derek Hunt.
0:50:16 > 0:50:20Rachel's photographs are back from the printer's.
0:50:22 > 0:50:28I'm always really excited when it arrives. I find a quiet moment away from everybody, when it's quiet
0:50:28 > 0:50:32and I can sit down and open it and go through it. Always that moment -
0:50:32 > 0:50:36is it going to work and am I going to like it?
0:50:36 > 0:50:37So...
0:50:37 > 0:50:42I think that's a nice shot. It just shows a nice connection between the brothers.
0:50:42 > 0:50:47Arrival at the cemetery and also just a tender moment
0:50:47 > 0:50:50and it's also Matthew overcome by emotion.
0:50:50 > 0:50:56Today she'll be showing the family the funeral album for the first time.
0:50:56 > 0:50:58They have no idea what to expect.
0:50:58 > 0:51:03I'm handing it over to them. I hope they'll be happy with it.
0:51:03 > 0:51:05If they weren't, I'd be upset.
0:51:05 > 0:51:09But I'm... I'm nervously positive.
0:51:09 > 0:51:15Derek's widow, Sandra, and son, Matthew, are waiting at the family home.
0:51:15 > 0:51:19- Hello, Sandra. How are you? - I'm fine, thank you. Come on in.
0:51:19 > 0:51:21Thank you.
0:51:21 > 0:51:26'Healing comes from talking over and over and over
0:51:26 > 0:51:32'and that's what this is about. The photographs become a prompt. I think it's hugely beneficial
0:51:32 > 0:51:35'and is really what I'm trying to do.'
0:51:35 > 0:51:42I didn't know that everybody who went through touched the coffin as they went through. Wonderful.
0:51:42 > 0:51:47- People felt comfortable enough to do it.- That was really lovely.
0:51:47 > 0:51:52- Everybody had their last goodbye. - Mm.- You looked glowing on the day.
0:51:52 > 0:51:57- You did. You looked good on the day. - You have to, don't you? It's what you do.
0:51:57 > 0:52:02- But it was a happy day in a funny kind of way.- It was.
0:52:02 > 0:52:04And it came across.
0:52:04 > 0:52:09- I think I would have enjoyed it if it wasn't...my dad.- Yes.
0:52:09 > 0:52:10Yes.
0:52:11 > 0:52:16And I'm so pleased for him, I really am.
0:52:16 > 0:52:18- But I'm sorry for you.- Yeah.
0:52:18 > 0:52:22That's what we get upset for now. Sorry for ourselves.
0:52:22 > 0:52:27And that's when I get cross. It's only me I'm sorry for.
0:52:27 > 0:52:31Derek's in... well, I know a better place.
0:52:31 > 0:52:34But for me I'm just being selfish.
0:52:34 > 0:52:40- But you're allowed to be. - Yeah, but there's a certain amount of time and then life moves on.
0:52:40 > 0:52:47- You have to move on.- Yes, it does. - Doors have to be closed and let them rest in peace
0:52:47 > 0:52:51- and you carry on with your life. - Yeah.
0:52:56 > 0:53:00Chandu's role doesn't end with the cremation of the dead.
0:53:00 > 0:53:05The remains of the body, the ashes, must be scattered on flowing water.
0:53:09 > 0:53:15Some are taken back to India, but today Chandu has brought a batch to Kingston upon Thames.
0:53:20 > 0:53:27Each one weighs two kilos and I've got six, so that's 12 kilos of ashes.
0:53:27 > 0:53:31The religious status of British rivers is a complex issue.
0:53:31 > 0:53:34Not a very good day, Darren, is it?
0:53:34 > 0:53:40Many Hindus believe the ashes should be scattered in India on a holy river like the Ganges.
0:53:40 > 0:53:43- Cor, that was hard work. - But others like Chandu
0:53:43 > 0:53:49believe that all rivers flow into the sea, so they're spiritually connected to the Ganges.
0:53:50 > 0:53:55In the past in India, the ashes were scattered on the River Ganges
0:53:55 > 0:54:01and families believed that the ashes are then carried with the flow of the river into the sea finally.
0:54:01 > 0:54:04The Thames is also as good
0:54:04 > 0:54:08as any kind of...as any river and any flowing water, basically.
0:54:08 > 0:54:14The family of Revaben Patel have come on board to scatter her remains.
0:54:19 > 0:54:21THE WOMEN SING
0:54:30 > 0:54:34Don't throw the urn inside. Just pour the ashes out, yeah?
0:54:40 > 0:54:46'The ashes scattering ceremony is the final part of returning the body to Mother Nature.
0:54:48 > 0:54:56'It brings closure to the family and also the belief that the soul by now has moved on.'
0:55:01 > 0:55:08The remains may be scattered, but Hindu rituals to remember the dead continue over the years to come.
0:55:18 > 0:55:22Don't forget you're going out Sunday at quarter past three.
0:55:22 > 0:55:27Faridah found the rules surrounding the burial of her father difficult to accept,
0:55:27 > 0:55:32but she's started to see her Muslim faith in a new light.
0:55:32 > 0:55:36'On the day I was very angry. I'm his daughter, I should be there.
0:55:36 > 0:55:43'But looking back on it, my dad, you know, he took the Muslim faith very seriously'
0:55:43 > 0:55:47and it was very comforting to know that I've sent him in the proper way
0:55:47 > 0:55:52and it has made closure, it definitely has helped
0:55:52 > 0:55:57with me accepting that he has died. Definitely.
0:55:59 > 0:56:03'As a young child, we did go to learn the Muslim faith,
0:56:03 > 0:56:07'but as I grew up I wasn't a practising Muslim.
0:56:07 > 0:56:11'So it has reconnected me with my religion.
0:56:11 > 0:56:18'I'm in the process of doing a will at the moment and I would like to be buried in a Muslim way.'
0:56:18 > 0:56:23Cos that's who I am. I was born in a Muslim family.
0:56:23 > 0:56:27I am a Muslim, at the end of the day.
0:56:33 > 0:56:37When it's all done and... over with,
0:56:37 > 0:56:42I do have quite a few families, one in particular, that I speak to.
0:56:43 > 0:56:49Ironically, they'll say to me, "How's business?" which you wouldn't expect them to
0:56:49 > 0:56:54because they have been business to me, but it just shows you that they have put that in a box
0:56:54 > 0:57:00and put that box away and are genuinely seeing how I'm doing, how I'm getting on,
0:57:00 > 0:57:04which is nice. It's nice to get the cards.
0:57:11 > 0:57:16'Hindus always believe it's a blessing to carry out a funeral ceremony
0:57:16 > 0:57:22'and to carry a coffin on your shoulder, so I've been blessed by all the people that I've helped
0:57:22 > 0:57:28'and those blessings will help me in my final journey into the next life.
0:57:32 > 0:57:38'I wish to die without any suffering because I see quite a lot of that.
0:57:38 > 0:57:44'My coffin and my clothes are ready. I want to be cremated very, very quickly.'
0:57:44 > 0:57:50I need to be returning back to Mother Nature as quickly as I... as quickly as I was born, I'd say!
0:58:00 > 0:58:06- Next time:- You don't even need a funeral director. The whole thing is bullshit.
0:58:06 > 0:58:11- Meeting the mourners who are going it alone.- It seemed more appropriate to take him in a van than a hearse.
0:58:11 > 0:58:13That's not really who he was.
0:58:13 > 0:58:18- No need for a funeral director... - This is how he'd like it.- I know.
0:58:18 > 0:58:25- ..when you can do it yourself. - This is our send-off for him with us doing as much as we can.
0:58:45 > 0:58:47Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd