0:00:02 > 0:00:06Funeral directors bury our loved ones.
0:00:08 > 0:00:12One day, they'll do the same for us.
0:00:12 > 0:00:17All the family's memories, all the pictures of their wedding days. It's so sad.
0:00:17 > 0:00:23Death is a certainty, but there are radical new ways to say the final goodbye.
0:00:23 > 0:00:25You don't need a funeral directors.
0:00:25 > 0:00:29It was more appropriate to take him in this van than a hearse because that's not who he was.
0:00:29 > 0:00:32Sorry you're leaving.
0:00:32 > 0:00:34Doing it before you die.
0:00:34 > 0:00:39I just thought why should everyone else have a party after I'm no longer here.
0:00:39 > 0:00:42I think I should be involved in it.
0:00:42 > 0:00:44Dying alone and penniless.
0:00:44 > 0:00:48To see a funeral with no-one is unusual. And it does make me feel sad.
0:00:48 > 0:00:52They are called Lawares which is someone that doesn't have anyone.
0:00:52 > 0:00:57And who needs an undertaker when you can do it yourself?
0:00:57 > 0:00:58This is our funeral.
0:00:58 > 0:01:04Our send-off for him with us doing as much as we possibly can.
0:01:12 > 0:01:15The funeral is having a 21st century makeover.
0:01:15 > 0:01:21Some of us are moving away from the sombre traditional ceremony
0:01:21 > 0:01:24towards a more upbeat individual send-off.
0:01:27 > 0:01:33In Newcastle, a funeral director wants to breathe new life into the business of death.
0:01:33 > 0:01:37This is just a good way of relaxing.
0:01:37 > 0:01:40Ay yeah, it winds you down, doesn't it?
0:01:40 > 0:01:42There is a pool table upstairs as well.
0:01:42 > 0:01:46Carl Marlow is not your average undertaker.
0:01:46 > 0:01:51It's a barrel. We've got them in the shape of the Angel of the North
0:01:51 > 0:01:56where it just looks like the body but without the wings.
0:01:56 > 0:02:00He's upset traditionalists in the trade with his outspoken views.
0:02:02 > 0:02:07The whole thing was bullshit. People should have and do what they want.
0:02:07 > 0:02:10That's why this business is called Go As You Please.
0:02:10 > 0:02:16It says exactly what it means. I want people to go how they want to go.
0:02:16 > 0:02:22Most funeral directors, and I'm not being cheeky about any individual but they are all the same.
0:02:22 > 0:02:25They even have an uniform.
0:02:25 > 0:02:28They've got stripy pants, a hat gloves they don't wear and a stick.
0:02:28 > 0:02:33He set up in business after his mother died.
0:02:33 > 0:02:36He still has bad memories of her funeral.
0:02:36 > 0:02:39I thought the funeral was rubbish. Nothing went wrong.
0:02:39 > 0:02:44Afterwards, I felt guilty because it was the same as everybody else's.
0:02:44 > 0:02:48The family know I say this but none of us put any effort in,
0:02:48 > 0:02:53none of us put any personal items in and afterwards, that prolonged my grieving process.
0:02:53 > 0:02:58I started reading books, looked into it and realised you don't even need a funeral director.
0:02:58 > 0:03:04People don't realise you can do anything you want
0:03:04 > 0:03:08but they are embarrassed to ask these questions.
0:03:12 > 0:03:16In Britain today, the funeral is all about personal choice.
0:03:16 > 0:03:23To stay ahead of the game, even traditional undertakers are having to change with the times.
0:03:23 > 0:03:27Our motto is anything that's legal. We aren't ambassadors of good taste.
0:03:27 > 0:03:31We believe the client, the family are always right.
0:03:31 > 0:03:36Nigel Lymn Rose heads up AW Lymn in Nottingham.
0:03:36 > 0:03:40Started by his great grandfather in l907,
0:03:40 > 0:03:45it's now one of the country's biggest independent funeral companies.
0:03:45 > 0:03:48This is a good business.
0:03:48 > 0:03:52But make no mistake, we are like any other business,
0:03:52 > 0:03:57people often say, it's all right for you, people will always die.
0:03:57 > 0:04:03There is always going to be death, but I can only sell, one person, one funeral.
0:04:08 > 0:04:13More customers are asking for funerals with a modern twist.
0:04:13 > 0:04:19It's a one-off occasion and something that must be done properly.
0:04:19 > 0:04:24Nigel's son Matthew is the latest member of the family to join the business.
0:04:24 > 0:04:29He's keen to experiment with new ideas.
0:04:29 > 0:04:35One of the more unusual hearses that we offer now is a London double decker bus.
0:04:35 > 0:04:39We've built this decking system so the coffin can be transported as well
0:04:39 > 0:04:44with the family downstairs and the rest of the mourners upstairs or just as a hearse with the coffin.
0:04:44 > 0:04:47It has proved popular.
0:04:47 > 0:04:51This bus has got an appeal to people who wants something unusual.
0:04:51 > 0:04:55They have really almost a party feeling to and from the funeral.
0:04:55 > 0:05:02By no means is it sombre and doom and gloom and black suits.
0:05:02 > 0:05:08Funerals are progressive and people are now more and more open to suggestions
0:05:08 > 0:05:12and it really is a celebration of someone's life.
0:05:12 > 0:05:18It looks a bit weird when you come out.
0:05:18 > 0:05:22Funeral director Carl Marlow is on a mission.
0:05:22 > 0:05:27He wants to help the bereaved do more of the funeral planning themselves.
0:05:27 > 0:05:33You don't need to spend hundreds of pounds on flowers from the florists.
0:05:33 > 0:05:39It's about not wasting money because when everybody's alive, they will tell you, don't waste money.
0:05:39 > 0:05:43I am going to pinch some daffodils, but it's only a rough ground area.
0:05:43 > 0:05:47All I'm looking for is colour. Dandelions.
0:05:47 > 0:05:52These are classed as weeds. You do get some funny looks!
0:05:53 > 0:05:58A lot of people say, "Oh Col, you don't look like a funeral director" and I bloody thank them!
0:05:58 > 0:06:02Who wants to look like a funeral director? Not me!
0:06:04 > 0:06:11You can do anything you want. You can get a van, buy a coffin off us, go to the mortuary.
0:06:11 > 0:06:16The mortuary staff would help place the loved one inside the coffin,
0:06:16 > 0:06:21put the coffin in the back of the van, drive to the crematorium, job done.
0:06:26 > 0:06:30The Do It Yourself funeral is a radical new idea
0:06:30 > 0:06:34but it's catching on because it's intimate and usually cheaper.
0:06:36 > 0:06:41In North Lincolnshire, Sue Smail has just lost her husband, Tony.
0:06:41 > 0:06:43The quilt.
0:06:43 > 0:06:49With the support of her family, she's arranged the funeral herself.
0:06:49 > 0:06:52When I'm dead, set me in van.
0:06:52 > 0:06:55Sit me in a cardboard box, put me in a van and be done with it.
0:06:55 > 0:06:57None of this claptrap as you would say.
0:06:57 > 0:07:00They've chosen a rather unusual hearse.
0:07:00 > 0:07:07This is the van he loved. Lived in it, he loved it.
0:07:07 > 0:07:10It seemed more appropriate to take him in this than in a hearse
0:07:10 > 0:07:13because that's not who he was. There was no giving up on the van.
0:07:13 > 0:07:20- There was a point where my mum didn't have a car but he still had his van.- He was proud of it.
0:07:20 > 0:07:24There was no point paying a stranger to carry my dad when I could carry him.
0:07:24 > 0:07:27Hopefully, I don't brake down and drop him.
0:07:30 > 0:07:34From the way my mum and dad have lived from this house,
0:07:34 > 0:07:38they never rang for a plasterer and paid him,
0:07:38 > 0:07:42never rang up a plumber. He did most of the things himself.
0:07:42 > 0:07:48If he'd have to have someone out, he'd be stood next to them, asking them what he was doing.
0:07:48 > 0:07:50- Next time, he wouldn't have to get them in.- That's true.
0:07:50 > 0:07:56You know the living room rug, I put that down but it'll come up at the sides, but it doesn't matter anyway.
0:07:56 > 0:07:58This is our funeral.
0:07:58 > 0:08:03Our send-off for him with us doing as much as we possibly can.
0:08:03 > 0:08:07We'll do it our way. We don't have to stick with whatever everybody else wants.
0:08:10 > 0:08:16Tony Smale died two weeks after being diagnosed with cancer.
0:08:16 > 0:08:20He was 70 years old.
0:08:20 > 0:08:22There wasn't anything he couldn't do.
0:08:22 > 0:08:29He fixed cars, he built buildings, he renovated, he decorated, he painted, he played the piano.
0:08:29 > 0:08:33He sang, he loved his Elvis. He was a very, very talented man
0:08:33 > 0:08:36and we are lucky to have had him in our life.
0:08:36 > 0:08:42He's probably had his tool box out already in heaven.
0:08:47 > 0:08:49But when a loved one dies,
0:08:49 > 0:08:54most people still turn to a traditional funeral director for help.
0:08:59 > 0:09:02AW Lymn have opened a one-stop shop to help the bereaved
0:09:02 > 0:09:06arrange a more personalised send off.
0:09:08 > 0:09:10This is the floristry department
0:09:10 > 0:09:15and like most things we get involved in, we like to have control of them.
0:09:15 > 0:09:19On the coffin itself, it's just a spray
0:09:19 > 0:09:25but we saw a rise in lilies following the funeral of Princess Diana.
0:09:29 > 0:09:34The coffin is usually the most expensive single item on the bill.
0:09:39 > 0:09:44So, the Georgetown is solid bronze or there is the Millennium casket
0:09:44 > 0:09:49which is stainless steel and gold fittings.
0:09:49 > 0:09:54It is usually referred to as the Rolex.
0:09:54 > 0:09:57That is about £10,000.
0:09:57 > 0:10:03Or if you really want, there is the solid bronze casket which is gold plated,
0:10:03 > 0:10:06called the Promethean.
0:10:06 > 0:10:13The same casket that was used by Michael Jackson and that's in the region of £20,000.
0:10:13 > 0:10:16What we are trying to do is offer all choices to all people.
0:10:16 > 0:10:20It's a bloody box. When you ask most people when they are alive,
0:10:20 > 0:10:25they'd say stick me in a cardboard box and put me in the bottom of the garden.
0:10:25 > 0:10:28With the money that you save, I'd much rather be grieving on a beach
0:10:28 > 0:10:34than paying money from something like this that's going to be burnt.
0:10:34 > 0:10:39Nobody comes up to them and says, that's a lovely bit of wood!
0:10:39 > 0:10:44People think the more money they spend, the more respectful they're being.
0:10:44 > 0:10:48In our society, we don't question it.
0:10:48 > 0:10:53Carl Marlow believes cheaper funerals are the future.
0:10:53 > 0:10:56His solution, a cut-price flat-pack coffin.
0:10:56 > 0:10:59You hear a lot of people asking for a cardboard coffin
0:10:59 > 0:11:02but families don't want to have a cardboard coffin
0:11:02 > 0:11:05because of the neighbours and it makes them look cheap.
0:11:05 > 0:11:10This helps them do it a bit cheaper but it looks expensive.
0:11:12 > 0:11:15The body is placed in a cardboard box
0:11:15 > 0:11:17and put inside Carl's flat-pack coffin.
0:11:17 > 0:11:20Once the crematorium curtains have closed,
0:11:20 > 0:11:23Carl and his assistant take their flat-pack coffin away
0:11:23 > 0:11:27and the body is cremated in the cardboard box.
0:11:27 > 0:11:31And that's that. The beauty of this is we know, the family know
0:11:31 > 0:11:36but the rest of the congregation don't know there's a cardboard coffin in here.
0:11:36 > 0:11:41It looks an expensive funeral. It doesn't look as if the family have done things cheaply
0:11:41 > 0:11:48or being disrespectful because it's a cardboard coffin.
0:11:54 > 0:11:58It has cost hundreds rather than thousands of pounds
0:11:58 > 0:12:01to give Tony Smail the simple goodbye he wanted.
0:12:01 > 0:12:06His body has been brought back to the family home in Lincolnshire
0:12:06 > 0:12:08before tomorrow's funeral.
0:12:08 > 0:12:11A like big chunky men. He was my best.
0:12:11 > 0:12:18The local undertaker helped Sue wash and dress him but the family will take over from here.
0:12:24 > 0:12:27- He's bowing in that, isn't he?- Yes!
0:12:27 > 0:12:30He looks bigger.
0:12:30 > 0:12:34Seems so much bigger.
0:12:34 > 0:12:38Tony belonged to the Church of Latter Day Saints.
0:12:38 > 0:12:43The family's planned a religious service followed by a woodland burial.
0:12:43 > 0:12:50I think each family needs to work out what's for them and what's for their beliefs and what would work.
0:12:50 > 0:12:52This is what works for us.
0:12:52 > 0:13:00He looks smart. I always promised I would fetch him home.
0:13:00 > 0:13:03I wanted to keep my promise
0:13:03 > 0:13:09and I wanted to do him some flowers that were personal to us
0:13:09 > 0:13:14because it's our tribute for my husband
0:13:14 > 0:13:18and I wanted to show my love to him.
0:13:18 > 0:13:23It's a sad time for me but we want to celebrate my husband's life because he was a good man.
0:13:23 > 0:13:26He was a great man.
0:13:27 > 0:13:35It was only three weeks ago he was outside putting a window in the house and now we're burying him.
0:13:36 > 0:13:42At least he wasn't in any pain and went quickly with his dignity
0:13:42 > 0:13:45because he was a very proud man.
0:13:45 > 0:13:51I'll probably cry my eyes out saying my goodbyes
0:13:51 > 0:13:57but he'd want me to get on with my life, he was...I don't know.
0:13:57 > 0:14:01Not good, I suppose.
0:14:06 > 0:14:11Tomorrow is my last farewell, my last day with my man.
0:14:11 > 0:14:15But I've got my family, I've got my beliefs
0:14:15 > 0:14:21and I'm lucky to have what I had, 19 years of a wonderful husband,
0:14:21 > 0:14:26father who was a man mountain.
0:14:30 > 0:14:35Tony Smail passed away surrounded by those he loved.
0:14:35 > 0:14:39But this year in Britain, over 20,000 people will die alone
0:14:39 > 0:14:45with no-one to arrange the funeral and no money left to pay for it.
0:14:45 > 0:14:47AW Lymn, can I help you?
0:14:47 > 0:14:50Despite their Rolls-Royce image,
0:14:50 > 0:14:54AW Lymn carry out funerals like this every week.
0:14:54 > 0:15:01Once known as a pauper's burial, now called a public health funeral.
0:15:01 > 0:15:07Jackie Lymn Rose has just collected a man's body from the local hospital.
0:15:07 > 0:15:11He was only 62 when he died.
0:15:11 > 0:15:19It's sad because for someone in their 60s to be alone,
0:15:19 > 0:15:26is really, really something quite difficult to imagine.
0:15:26 > 0:15:31It's sad. None of us would like to be in that situation.
0:15:31 > 0:15:38But maybe he lived his life happily without any other human contact.
0:15:40 > 0:15:45When someone dies alone, the local council will pay for the funeral.
0:15:45 > 0:15:50But first, a search is carried out for lost relatives.
0:15:50 > 0:15:54Paula Richardson is part of a specialist team at Nottingham Council.
0:15:54 > 0:15:57We get people that have decided to drop out of society
0:15:57 > 0:16:03and they maybe alcohol or drug dependent.
0:16:03 > 0:16:09We do unfortunately get gentlemen that their wives have deceased and they haven't had children
0:16:09 > 0:16:16they tend to live on their own and don't have friends.
0:16:16 > 0:16:23Then we get people, who have lead an average life and the family haven't got the money.
0:16:23 > 0:16:30They may live month to month by their salary and can't afford a funeral.
0:16:30 > 0:16:34Basically, it's anybody and everyone.
0:16:34 > 0:16:40An advert appealing for information about Anthony has been placed in the local paper.
0:16:44 > 0:16:52Dave Stretton, another member of the team is searching Anthony's house for clues.
0:16:52 > 0:16:55Quite often it can be a Christmas card list, an address book,
0:16:55 > 0:16:59a diary with people's names and contact details.
0:16:59 > 0:17:02But we don't always come across that type of information.
0:17:02 > 0:17:08Sometimes, there's still no information at all.
0:17:13 > 0:17:18Very basic in the house. There was no carpets, it was bare floorboards.
0:17:18 > 0:17:22Poor state of repair to be fair.
0:17:22 > 0:17:26Very little in the property in terms of furniture.
0:17:26 > 0:17:33From what I can understand, the gentleman had a number of cats.
0:17:33 > 0:17:36There was the mess from the cats in the property.
0:17:36 > 0:17:43We do come across some information but on this occasion, there's nothing to go on at this stage.
0:17:49 > 0:17:56In East London, another funeral company is dealing with a similar case.
0:17:56 > 0:17:58An 80-year-old Muslim man has died alone
0:17:58 > 0:18:03and no relatives have come forward to bury him.
0:18:03 > 0:18:05His body has been taken to Haji Taslim,
0:18:05 > 0:18:10a Muslim funeral business run by Gulam Taslim and his daughter, Moona.
0:18:10 > 0:18:13Oh!
0:18:13 > 0:18:18This time there's no need for the council to pay for the funeral.
0:18:18 > 0:18:23They are called Lawarez which is someone that doesn't have anyone.
0:18:23 > 0:18:29It's a great honour and privilege to bury them and we as a community should bear the cost and organise it.
0:18:29 > 0:18:34Muslims want to be buried as quickly as possible after death
0:18:34 > 0:18:38so the soul can make a fast journey to eternal peace.
0:18:38 > 0:18:44The body of the Lawarez is now being washed and shrouded in preparation for burial.
0:18:45 > 0:18:49Even though the council would have paid for a Muslim funeral,
0:18:49 > 0:18:53someone who knew the deceased has stepped in to help.
0:18:53 > 0:18:58Since I spoke to you on Friday, things have changed.
0:18:58 > 0:19:00Have you found some family members?
0:19:00 > 0:19:06There are these angels. He went and register the death and bring the papers to us
0:19:06 > 0:19:09and went, please can you bury him and I'll see what I can do.
0:19:09 > 0:19:14- Among the community, he is known as Aziz.- Abdul Aziz.- Uncle Aziz.
0:19:14 > 0:19:20He was known as Uncle Aziz. OK. Aziz.
0:19:20 > 0:19:22He called him Uncle Aziz
0:19:22 > 0:19:28and he worked for his father many, many years ago in his restaurant.
0:19:28 > 0:19:33Other than that, he doesn't know the address he lived at for us to write on our paper work.
0:19:33 > 0:19:35If something was to happen to me,
0:19:35 > 0:19:41again, straight away, I would want to be buried Islamically.
0:19:41 > 0:19:45I see it as that should be my duty as well.
0:19:45 > 0:19:49He had the heart attack while he was with us.
0:19:49 > 0:19:54He spent part of his life with us and it was my duty. I see it as my duty.
0:19:59 > 0:20:06Mosruz and his friends have gone to the mosque to try and raise funds for the funeral.
0:20:06 > 0:20:12They're also trying to find out if anyone knows anything about Aziz's lost family.
0:20:12 > 0:20:15Most of these people knew who he was.
0:20:15 > 0:20:20But nobody knows if he had relatives, who they were.
0:20:20 > 0:20:23It's the same story.
0:20:23 > 0:20:28He was Kenyan so you have to get in touch with the Kenyan community.
0:20:28 > 0:20:32There are a lot of Muslim Kenyans. You have to get in touch with them.
0:20:38 > 0:20:44Customers come to Carl Marlow for a funeral with a difference.
0:20:44 > 0:20:48Some of them start planning the big day before they die.
0:20:50 > 0:20:56He's just made an unusual coffin for someone who wants a light-hearted send off.
0:20:56 > 0:21:00There's a lady called Linda who's terminally ill.
0:21:00 > 0:21:06She got in touch with me wanting me to help make a coffin for her.
0:21:06 > 0:21:08She came up with a vodka bottle.
0:21:08 > 0:21:14That is the whole point of what we do and we try and do whatever anybody asks.
0:21:14 > 0:21:20It's a tragic time so it doesn't have to be miserable.
0:21:20 > 0:21:23It's trying to make it more upbeat.
0:21:26 > 0:21:30Just because I love vodka, that's the only reason why.
0:21:30 > 0:21:35You can have post boxes, anything you want on a coffin.
0:21:35 > 0:21:40I think, it's my party and I'll do what I want to.
0:21:40 > 0:21:43That's basically it.
0:21:48 > 0:21:53Linda Timberlake is 56 and suffers from an incurable lung disorder.
0:21:57 > 0:22:03With Carl's help, she's putting together detailed plans for her own funeral.
0:22:05 > 0:22:10This is my little box with all my instructions when the inevitable happens
0:22:10 > 0:22:16and these are my letters that I've written to my family.
0:22:16 > 0:22:19To my daughter, my son and my partner.
0:22:19 > 0:22:25I'm happy that in this box is everything that I've requested
0:22:25 > 0:22:28and that Carl's agreed to do for me.
0:22:30 > 0:22:35I don't want tears, I want people to remember me as a fun person.
0:22:35 > 0:22:39Someone who liked a joke and a laugh and was bubbly.
0:22:39 > 0:22:42I want them to remember me that way.
0:22:49 > 0:22:55- What do you think? - It's nice. It's just not me.
0:22:58 > 0:23:04Today, Carl's taking Linda on a tour around Tyneside crematoriums.
0:23:04 > 0:23:07I don't think it's got much character to it.
0:23:07 > 0:23:09Linda doesn't want a religious funeral
0:23:09 > 0:23:13but she still wants the venue to have a spiritual feel.
0:23:13 > 0:23:20I like the stained glass windows but they don't say a story.
0:23:20 > 0:23:22- You don't have to come here. - No, I don't have to.
0:23:22 > 0:23:28It's important for you to see what this place is because it'll be your funeral.
0:23:28 > 0:23:33It's nice to see how it would be laid out like they've put thought into it.
0:23:33 > 0:23:39- I feel as if the coffin is hid away. - Yes, it is out of the way.
0:23:39 > 0:23:45It's your funeral. It's all about yourself. It's the most selfish act you can do.
0:23:45 > 0:23:53- It's not as if they can say anything to you. I just try and say da-ra.- No.
0:23:53 > 0:23:57You are not being offensive, you are doing what you want to do.
0:23:57 > 0:24:02If you're OK and up to it, we can pop to the car...
0:24:07 > 0:24:10The next crematorium is at Whitley Bay,
0:24:10 > 0:24:15Carl thinks its picturesque location will make it the perfect place for Linda's funeral.
0:24:15 > 0:24:21- This is gorgeous.- This is probably the oldest. It's a listed building but it's not actually.
0:24:21 > 0:24:27- You can throw a party in here. - Really?- You can do anything you want in any crematorium.
0:24:27 > 0:24:32- Can I have my wake here as well? - You'd have to have it in 15 minutes!
0:24:32 > 0:24:38It's classed as a chapel but as long as it is left in the same condition
0:24:38 > 0:24:40as what it was when we came in.
0:24:40 > 0:24:44I've served wine and cheese in here at funerals.
0:24:44 > 0:24:50It's got such an olde-worlde feel about it. I love the ceiling.
0:24:50 > 0:24:55You'd be surprised, very few people come in and look at these places beforehand.
0:24:55 > 0:24:59They presume you have to go to the one closest to where they live.
0:24:59 > 0:25:03It's important to find somewhere special.
0:25:03 > 0:25:11I'm changing my mind that this is the one I want. It's just so quaint and lovely and olde-worlde.
0:25:11 > 0:25:17It's got meaning to it. It's not a soulless building. I like it.
0:25:17 > 0:25:20- No, good. - The ceiling is beautiful, isn't it?
0:25:25 > 0:25:27I wanted to be able to do it for myself.
0:25:27 > 0:25:31Have something to do, keep my mind occupied
0:25:31 > 0:25:35and get where I wanted, really.
0:25:35 > 0:25:37It's control.
0:25:37 > 0:25:41I have no control over this disease but I have control over my ending.
0:25:48 > 0:25:53Carl plans to expand his business to help more people plan an individual funeral
0:25:53 > 0:25:58so they won't make the mistakes he did when he buried his mother.
0:25:58 > 0:26:05For my mother's funeral, it was the same as anybody else's. I didn't recognise anything about my mum.
0:26:05 > 0:26:10I didn't understand anything about death or funerals
0:26:10 > 0:26:16or funeral directors or what their roles are or what the rules are.
0:26:16 > 0:26:23But I do know now is, and this is where I get angry at times, there were no rules.
0:26:23 > 0:26:27I wasn't misinformed, I just didn't know.
0:26:27 > 0:26:30If I had known then what I know now,
0:26:30 > 0:26:34my mother's funeral would have been 100% different.
0:26:34 > 0:26:40It would have been done with a lot more love.
0:26:40 > 0:26:44It cost a fortune, well, it shouldn't have to.
0:26:47 > 0:26:50There's good news in East London.
0:26:50 > 0:26:56Mosruz and his friends have raised enough money in donations to pay for Aziz's funeral.
0:26:56 > 0:26:58The burial can go ahead.
0:26:58 > 0:27:04Was he like a real character because to find so many people that would donate, is lovely.
0:27:04 > 0:27:07Previously, he was employed by our father,
0:27:07 > 0:27:12we have been in touch with him for the last 30 years.
0:27:12 > 0:27:15Since Dad passed away, he has been in touch with us.
0:27:15 > 0:27:17He has kept an eye on us, that's how we know him.
0:27:17 > 0:27:20Friday, you came in and said there's no-one
0:27:20 > 0:27:25and then over the weekend, you've managed to raise funds and do it all.
0:27:25 > 0:27:30All of you, so many blessings may be bestowed on you.
0:27:30 > 0:27:35- It's much cheaper in the cemetery. - Over £3,000 has been raised to pay for the funeral.
0:27:35 > 0:27:40The money left over will be given to a special fund at the mosque
0:27:40 > 0:27:44that will pay for the burial of other Muslims who die alone.
0:27:44 > 0:27:50He was a wonderful guy. He was jolly, always happy.
0:27:50 > 0:27:55Whatever issues he had, he never showed any signs of stress.
0:27:55 > 0:27:59He was funny and such a wonderful person to have around.
0:27:59 > 0:28:06Everything's in place and soon Aziz's body will finally be laid to rest.
0:28:06 > 0:28:11There's a Muslim somewhere that doesn't have anyone
0:28:11 > 0:28:14but he is definitely going to be buried with some dignity
0:28:14 > 0:28:17and in the way he should be buried, which is lovely.
0:28:17 > 0:28:20I'm proud to be Muslim today. I'm always proud to be Muslim
0:28:20 > 0:28:25but it's lovely to hear that these people have done this. They didn't need to.
0:28:25 > 0:28:29The council would have organised it. He would have got buried eventually.
0:28:29 > 0:28:35It was important enough for them to make sure he got buried as a Muslim and as soon as possible.
0:28:36 > 0:28:42No-one's come forward about Anthony, the man who died alone in Nottingham,
0:28:42 > 0:28:46so Lymns are going ahead with his funeral.
0:28:46 > 0:28:49The council will pay for it and he'll be treated
0:28:49 > 0:28:54with the same dignity and respect as any other client.
0:28:54 > 0:28:58We have chosen to dress Anthony in blue
0:28:58 > 0:29:04and the blue gown, shroud, robe or whatever you wish to call it,
0:29:04 > 0:29:08has actually the appearance of a dressing gown.
0:29:08 > 0:29:12It will be laid over him neatly
0:29:14 > 0:29:19and the chord will be tied so it can look as if he has got a dressing gown on
0:29:19 > 0:29:23that has a chord tied at the waist.
0:29:23 > 0:29:28The sleeves will be placed on too.
0:29:30 > 0:29:33The final preparations are now underway.
0:29:33 > 0:29:36Anthony' coffin will be placed in the chapel of rest
0:29:36 > 0:29:39and his funeral will take place in the morning.
0:29:39 > 0:29:44I suppose none of us would like to die on our own.
0:29:44 > 0:29:47But that said, we knew nothing about his lifestyle.
0:29:47 > 0:29:53He chose to live alone and he probably happy to die anytime
0:29:53 > 0:29:57surrounded by his cats.
0:29:58 > 0:30:01All I can say is that we've looked after him to a very best
0:30:01 > 0:30:06and tomorrow, he will have a dignified funeral.
0:30:10 > 0:30:12Bye bye.
0:30:23 > 0:30:28We are in the middle of a funeral revolution.
0:30:28 > 0:30:30People are doing it for themselves.
0:30:33 > 0:30:37People are planning their own send-off in advance.
0:30:37 > 0:30:41So would I be on this side then? Or would I be this side?
0:30:41 > 0:30:45Yeah. No, you'd be here.
0:30:45 > 0:30:49People are arranging a new kind of funeral,
0:30:49 > 0:30:52so they can see goodbye to family and friends before they die.
0:30:54 > 0:30:57Blossom Wilson is 50 years old.
0:30:57 > 0:31:00She's been told she only has months left to live.
0:31:00 > 0:31:04She is organising a living funeral.
0:31:04 > 0:31:07I am calling it like a farewell party, yeah.
0:31:08 > 0:31:13But really, it's like a pre-wake or a living wake.
0:31:13 > 0:31:18Blossom's living funeral will celebrate the end of her life,
0:31:18 > 0:31:21but she will be there to enjoy it as well.
0:31:25 > 0:31:28I just thought, why should everybody else have a party
0:31:28 > 0:31:30after I'm no longer here?
0:31:30 > 0:31:33I think that I should be involved in it.
0:31:33 > 0:31:35So I just thought, bring the party forward.
0:31:41 > 0:31:45Today, Blossom is in Scunthorpe, looking for bits and pieces
0:31:45 > 0:31:49to decorate the venue of her special farewell party.
0:31:51 > 0:31:57What I'm celebrating is basically life.
0:31:57 > 0:32:01I'm retiring on the grounds of ill-health from work
0:32:01 > 0:32:04and I am doing a farewell party
0:32:04 > 0:32:06because I'm on a time limit.
0:32:06 > 0:32:11- Oh, how wonderful.- Basically, my wake before I've had my parting!
0:32:11 > 0:32:14I had another lady that did that.
0:32:14 > 0:32:16- Did you?- Yeah, she had a party.
0:32:16 > 0:32:19They are getting very popular. People are doing this
0:32:19 > 0:32:23because they want to celebrate their life with all their friends.
0:32:23 > 0:32:27- Whereabouts are you having it? - St Bernadette's.- Oh, right.
0:32:27 > 0:32:29In the club there. That's fine.
0:32:29 > 0:32:34I think you're amazing to want to do this.
0:32:34 > 0:32:37I don't see why everyone should party after I've gone!
0:32:37 > 0:32:40I want the party before.
0:32:40 > 0:32:43You're having the wake before and you're going to be part of it.
0:32:43 > 0:32:47What a wonderful thing to think about, to be honest.
0:32:47 > 0:32:54- Then you know what it will be like and what people say about you.- Yeah!
0:32:54 > 0:32:56Hopefully some of it's good.
0:33:00 > 0:33:05That's a girl, and a boy. First birthday. Sweet 16.
0:33:05 > 0:33:08'Mentally, I'm sort of detached'
0:33:08 > 0:33:14from the fact that I will be passing away.
0:33:14 > 0:33:18And I think that to focus on the party is a separate thing
0:33:18 > 0:33:21to thinking about dying.
0:33:21 > 0:33:24And just to keep the two things separate is to me
0:33:24 > 0:33:28the best way of coping with it at the moment.
0:33:28 > 0:33:32I don't know where I found the ability to sort of do that,
0:33:32 > 0:33:38but, you know, it's the best viable option at the moment.
0:33:38 > 0:33:42Can't see anything that says farewell or...
0:33:42 > 0:33:47Finding things that hit the right tone is proving to be a challenge.
0:33:47 > 0:33:50"Sorry you're leaving".
0:33:50 > 0:33:53That might be...
0:33:57 > 0:34:01- It's very difficult, isn't it? - It is, isn't it?
0:34:01 > 0:34:05Is that the right sort of...?
0:34:05 > 0:34:10That would be more if somebody was moving house or going away,
0:34:10 > 0:34:13or abroad or something like that.
0:34:13 > 0:34:17It's trying to find something that is appropriate
0:34:17 > 0:34:23that when people read it they're not going to be either upset or offended
0:34:23 > 0:34:29by the fact that this leaving party is actually me leaving the planet.
0:34:29 > 0:34:32Erm...
0:34:32 > 0:34:35Yeah.
0:34:39 > 0:34:42I want to make each day count, whatever I do,
0:34:42 > 0:34:45it's got to be a positive thing.
0:34:45 > 0:34:48It's no good sitting in a corner, moping,
0:34:48 > 0:34:53grieving for myself or what I might lose or what the family might lose,
0:34:53 > 0:34:59because while you're sorrowful, you're missing out on a lot.
0:35:00 > 0:35:05And I want to get out there and sort of touch everybody.
0:35:05 > 0:35:09- And it's going to be a good do.- Yes.
0:35:09 > 0:35:12Yeah, I like to party!
0:35:23 > 0:35:27- Is that the one you're making for grandad?- Yeah.- OK, you do that one.
0:35:27 > 0:35:32# Did you ever notice when the sun goes down? #
0:35:32 > 0:35:36It's the day of Tony Smale's DIY funeral.
0:35:36 > 0:35:40- Have you done one yet, Pete? - Is there one for me to do as well?
0:35:40 > 0:35:41There's one for everybody to do.
0:35:41 > 0:35:44Children, grandchildren and the rest of the family
0:35:44 > 0:35:46are gathered at the house.
0:35:46 > 0:35:50The white roses represent eternity and this is mine,
0:35:50 > 0:35:56which is a white rose and a red rose, and when we've lowered Tony
0:35:56 > 0:36:01into the woodland place, they're going to put roses in and this is
0:36:01 > 0:36:05everybody saying what their feelings are and what they want to say.
0:36:05 > 0:36:08- Did you like seeing grandad this morning?- Yeah.
0:36:08 > 0:36:10- He looks good doesn't he?- Yeah.
0:36:10 > 0:36:13- Do you want to go and show him and talk to him about that?- Yeah.
0:36:13 > 0:36:17OK then. Go on then. I'm not going to come and lift you up.
0:36:17 > 0:36:20You can talk to him quietly.
0:36:20 > 0:36:22See you soon.
0:36:25 > 0:36:28I want to put the ribbon on the van.
0:36:28 > 0:36:33This is really Pete Robinson's. He'd approve.
0:36:36 > 0:36:41'My husband used to say, don't waste money, don't get in people
0:36:41 > 0:36:44'and things and talents you can do yourself.'
0:36:44 > 0:36:46We need his van right now.
0:36:46 > 0:36:50'Why get some money else in when you can either learn it yourself
0:36:50 > 0:36:52'or have a go and try yourself?'
0:36:52 > 0:36:54Do you want to just measure there?
0:36:54 > 0:36:56Right, shall we go in then?
0:37:07 > 0:37:10And now the journey together.
0:37:16 > 0:37:19- This is going how he'd like it though.- I know.
0:37:21 > 0:37:23- He's waiting for you.- I know.
0:37:27 > 0:37:30He was always waiting for me. See you in a bit.
0:37:41 > 0:37:45In Nottingham, Anthony, the man who died alone,
0:37:45 > 0:37:48is about to have his public-health funeral.
0:37:50 > 0:37:56Matthew is carrying out final checks before leaving for the crematorium.
0:37:56 > 0:38:00Checking the breastplate's correct and the spelling is correct, the dates and the age is correct.
0:38:00 > 0:38:03And this funeral is no different from any other.
0:38:05 > 0:38:11The coffin will then be sealed down and I'll brief the staff on exactly what we're going to do.
0:38:12 > 0:38:16It's very sad, the first time you think that you're doing a funeral
0:38:16 > 0:38:20where there may be no mourners, maybe nobody present, other than our staff
0:38:20 > 0:38:25and the representative of the City of Nottingham, but it's important
0:38:25 > 0:38:29that everyone is afforded the same dignity and the same respect.
0:38:32 > 0:38:35Everybody gets the same service.
0:38:39 > 0:38:44OK, as you know, this is an environmental health funeral.
0:38:44 > 0:38:47Not expecting there to be many people there,
0:38:47 > 0:38:49maybe just someone from the council and ourselves.
0:39:14 > 0:39:17Mosruz and his friends have joined
0:39:17 > 0:39:21worshippers at East London Mosque for Aziz's funeral.
0:39:23 > 0:39:25Aziz died with no known family,
0:39:25 > 0:39:31but today his fellow Muslims will give him a full Islamic burial.
0:39:38 > 0:39:43Funerals are held here every day during regular prayers.
0:39:45 > 0:39:48Allahu Akbar. >
0:39:51 > 0:39:55Afterwards, Aziz's coffin is taken to the viewing room.
0:39:56 > 0:40:00People who didn't even know him have come to pay their last respects.
0:40:00 > 0:40:06It's very nice to think that at a time like this that everybody
0:40:06 > 0:40:09can just come together, whatever differences.
0:40:09 > 0:40:13I mean, there's also friends that have contributed towards
0:40:13 > 0:40:14the funeral, non-Muslim friends.
0:40:16 > 0:40:18- Whoever wants to go.- Yeah.
0:40:34 > 0:40:38In Scunthorpe, Blossom Wilson is getting things ready
0:40:38 > 0:40:42for her living funeral, which will take place this evening.
0:40:42 > 0:40:45You can buy the banner as it is and then you get the letters
0:40:45 > 0:40:50and then you have to create your own whatever you want on it,
0:40:50 > 0:40:52which I thought was a great idea.
0:40:58 > 0:41:01I don't want it to be sad, morbid or anything like that.
0:41:01 > 0:41:08People have been unsure as to what a living wake is expected to be like.
0:41:08 > 0:41:12But I mean, seeing as how I've never experienced one,
0:41:12 > 0:41:16let alone a lot of the guests, so it's just a case of suck it and see,
0:41:16 > 0:41:20play it by ear and just hope that we all have a good time.
0:41:23 > 0:41:27It is enjoying the life that I have had
0:41:27 > 0:41:32and the memories that I am leaving behind for family and friends.
0:41:32 > 0:41:36Yeah. It wants to be upbeat, no misery.
0:41:38 > 0:41:44Blossom's partner, Mark, is helping with preparations.
0:41:44 > 0:41:50It sort of makes you realise that, you know, life is for living
0:41:50 > 0:41:53and this is what it's all about, isn't it?
0:41:53 > 0:41:56She's having a happy time before anything happens.
0:42:07 > 0:42:09This is my guestbook.
0:42:10 > 0:42:13Cos I'd like a record of
0:42:13 > 0:42:17who's been here, to the party.
0:42:17 > 0:42:19And...
0:42:19 > 0:42:22also, I can pass it to my sons
0:42:22 > 0:42:25so, when my actual wake is,
0:42:25 > 0:42:27when I have actually passed away,
0:42:27 > 0:42:30then they can utilise the book
0:42:30 > 0:42:34to know which friends to contact.
0:42:34 > 0:42:36Also, when I do pass,
0:42:36 > 0:42:40these people are going to be reunited again, and they'll be going,
0:42:40 > 0:42:44"Crikey, wasn't that a fantastic party she put on the other year?
0:42:44 > 0:42:46"It was absolutely brilliant and I'm so pleased she did it."
0:42:46 > 0:42:49And they can reflect back, themselves,
0:42:49 > 0:42:51and bond together again.
0:42:52 > 0:42:54So, that's what I'm hoping.
0:43:04 > 0:43:07I think I'll wear this one tonight with my dress.
0:43:08 > 0:43:11Just need some make-up on.
0:43:12 > 0:43:16I don't know what is going to occur tonight, at all.
0:43:16 > 0:43:18But hopefully, it's all good.
0:43:31 > 0:43:34Tony Smail's wicker coffin has been brought to church
0:43:34 > 0:43:38in the white van he loved.
0:43:38 > 0:43:43He was a regular worshipper here and the resident pianist.
0:43:46 > 0:43:49He liked me to walk four paces behind him.
0:43:49 > 0:43:52He lived all his life, "Walk for paces behind me, love.
0:43:52 > 0:43:53"Walk for paces behind me."
0:43:53 > 0:43:55We won't upset him, then.
0:43:55 > 0:43:58- Yeah, I'll give him his dream come true.- Yeah, that's it.
0:44:00 > 0:44:03As a Mormon, Sue believes that one day there will be
0:44:03 > 0:44:07a Second Resurrection, and she will see her husband again.
0:44:07 > 0:44:09Do you want to start lifting him, boys?
0:44:11 > 0:44:13I think, if I didn't have my faith,
0:44:13 > 0:44:17I certainly would fall apart.
0:44:17 > 0:44:19But my faith hold me and comforts me.
0:44:20 > 0:44:23It doesn't stop the pain, but I am comforted,
0:44:23 > 0:44:24because I know that he's there.
0:44:24 > 0:44:26And...
0:44:26 > 0:44:28we can continue,
0:44:28 > 0:44:31we can pick up and go on.
0:44:31 > 0:44:33So that I know, as I go about my daily life,
0:44:33 > 0:44:37there is still a future for me and my husband.
0:44:37 > 0:44:40And that is the most important thing.
0:44:42 > 0:44:44Tony's having a green burial.
0:44:44 > 0:44:49Sue's purchased a plot for him at a special woodland site.
0:44:49 > 0:44:53Natural burials are growing trend.
0:44:53 > 0:44:57In the last 16 years, over 220 sites have opened up all over Britain.
0:45:04 > 0:45:06Remember who has to go first.
0:45:06 > 0:45:09- Will he get buried over there? - Grandad will get buried over there.
0:45:09 > 0:45:15# Well, I'm tired and so weary... #
0:45:15 > 0:45:17Tony's body hasn't been embalmed,
0:45:17 > 0:45:20so no chemicals will go into the earth when he is buried.
0:45:20 > 0:45:28# Till the Lord comes and calls
0:45:28 > 0:45:29# Calls me away... #
0:45:29 > 0:45:33We love nature, and I think the world is so polluted,
0:45:33 > 0:45:35and the world is so commercial...
0:45:35 > 0:45:37I think go back to nature,
0:45:37 > 0:45:39and go back to the beautiful things of the world.
0:45:39 > 0:45:42How beautiful to become part of a wood.
0:45:42 > 0:45:45# And the lamp is alight
0:45:45 > 0:45:49# And the night... #
0:45:49 > 0:45:52It says in the Scriptures, "Dust to dust, ashes to ashes,"
0:45:52 > 0:45:55so, let's do it nature's way.
0:45:55 > 0:45:57That's how Tony and I have been all of our lives.
0:45:57 > 0:46:05# There will be peace in the valley for me someday... #
0:46:08 > 0:46:09Our Father in Heaven...
0:46:09 > 0:46:12Sue's bought the next-door plot so, one day,
0:46:12 > 0:46:14she can be buried next to Tony.
0:46:14 > 0:46:16In the name of Jesus Christ, amen.
0:46:16 > 0:46:18ALL: Amen.
0:46:20 > 0:46:23One heart, one soul, one love that will last an eternity,
0:46:23 > 0:46:25from beginning to the end.
0:46:25 > 0:46:27I long for us to be together, but time has passed,
0:46:27 > 0:46:30and death has torn us apart.
0:46:30 > 0:46:32See you soon, my darling.
0:46:32 > 0:46:37# There will be peace
0:46:37 > 0:46:40# In the valley for me
0:46:40 > 0:46:47# For me. #
0:46:55 > 0:46:58Aziz's body has been brought to Forest Gate Cemetery
0:46:58 > 0:47:00for his Muslim burial.
0:47:05 > 0:47:07Can you...?
0:47:07 > 0:47:09No faces, please.
0:47:09 > 0:47:11Please, no faces.
0:47:11 > 0:47:14Muslims prefer the body to be taken out of the coffin,
0:47:14 > 0:47:16and placed in the grave,
0:47:16 > 0:47:19but some cemeteries don't allow shroud burials.
0:47:21 > 0:47:24- I don't know.- Basically...
0:47:24 > 0:47:27They've been told that if they want Aziz's body
0:47:27 > 0:47:30taken out of the coffin, they'll need to dig a bigger grave.
0:47:30 > 0:47:35HE SPEAKS FOREIGN LANGUAGE
0:47:35 > 0:47:37- The box is going in there, yeah?- Yes.
0:47:37 > 0:47:40Yes, that's all right, but just leave a little bit air for the face.
0:47:43 > 0:47:45The mourners decide it's more important
0:47:45 > 0:47:48to get Aziz's body into the ground as soon as possible.
0:47:51 > 0:47:54It is every Muslim's duty to come together,
0:47:54 > 0:47:57when you hear someone has died, to turn up for their funeral prayers,
0:47:57 > 0:48:00to turn up to the grave, to carry their body on your shoulder,
0:48:00 > 0:48:03and to make sure that you have buried them and then
0:48:03 > 0:48:07everything is done as religiously, in as an Islamic way as possible.
0:48:21 > 0:48:24The body of Anthony, the man who died alone,
0:48:24 > 0:48:27is on its way to the local crematorium.
0:48:27 > 0:48:30No-one knows if he was a religious man,
0:48:30 > 0:48:32but he will have a religious funeral.
0:48:32 > 0:48:34He once ticked a box on a council form
0:48:34 > 0:48:37saying he was Church of England,
0:48:37 > 0:48:39so a local priest, David Bignall,
0:48:39 > 0:48:41will conduct the service.
0:48:44 > 0:48:45Well...
0:48:45 > 0:48:48It's one of those sad ones
0:48:48 > 0:48:52where the guy who's died, aged 62,
0:48:52 > 0:48:57doesn't seem to have a family member or a friend in the world.
0:48:57 > 0:49:00So, it's up to us.
0:49:03 > 0:49:07I think it's important for everyone who comes to the end of their life,
0:49:07 > 0:49:11that there should be this right of passage.
0:49:11 > 0:49:14I mean, I'm not assuming anything at all about Anthony.
0:49:14 > 0:49:17I mean, I don't know whether he was a Christian or not,
0:49:17 > 0:49:20or whether he had any faith at all or not,
0:49:20 > 0:49:24but it's my responsibility, my duty, to commend him to God
0:49:24 > 0:49:28and to say a prayer over him as we bid farewell.
0:49:29 > 0:49:33I believe there will be a place for Anthony,
0:49:33 > 0:49:36and I just hope and pray that he's found his way to it.
0:49:40 > 0:49:44The only thing known for certain about Anthony was his love of cats.
0:49:44 > 0:49:46# All things bright and beautiful... #
0:49:46 > 0:49:48So, a special hymn has been chosen
0:49:48 > 0:49:51to take his coffin into the crematorium.
0:49:51 > 0:49:55# All things wise and wonderful
0:49:55 > 0:49:59# The Lord God made them all
0:49:59 > 0:50:02# Each little flower that opens
0:50:02 > 0:50:06# Each little bird that sings
0:50:06 > 0:50:09# He made their glowing colours
0:50:09 > 0:50:13# He made their tiny wings
0:50:13 > 0:50:18# All things wise and wonderful
0:50:18 > 0:50:25# The Lord God made them all. #
0:50:25 > 0:50:28Well, Anthony, we know very little about you.
0:50:30 > 0:50:33Our consolation is that God knows you,
0:50:33 > 0:50:36and he has prepared a place for you in Heaven.
0:50:36 > 0:50:38There are three people in the congregation.
0:50:38 > 0:50:40Matthew,
0:50:40 > 0:50:42a representative from the council,
0:50:42 > 0:50:45and a member of the crematorium staff.
0:50:46 > 0:50:50Did you have brothers and sisters? What were your friends like?
0:50:50 > 0:50:53Where did you go to school? When did you go to work?
0:50:53 > 0:50:57What were your hobbies and interests? We know nothing of these days.
0:50:59 > 0:51:03All we know is that when you came to the end of your life,
0:51:03 > 0:51:09you lived on your own in Strelley with your 16 cats,
0:51:09 > 0:51:11which suggests to me that you loved animals,
0:51:11 > 0:51:14and maybe they were your only friends.
0:51:14 > 0:51:19Maybe we might be forgiven for calling you a loner...
0:51:20 > 0:51:24..because it would seem that you did prefer your own company,
0:51:24 > 0:51:26and to have your pets around you.
0:51:27 > 0:51:33Your lifestyle maybe didn't make you the most popular person
0:51:33 > 0:51:38amongst your neighbours, and many of them did complain about you,
0:51:38 > 0:51:42but I think it's significant that you actually wrote a letter
0:51:42 > 0:51:45to the council saying, "I will move anywhere,
0:51:45 > 0:51:50"as long as I can live my life in peace and in harmony."
0:51:50 > 0:51:54We have entrusted Anthony to God's merciful keeping,
0:51:54 > 0:51:58and we now commit his body to be cremated
0:51:58 > 0:52:02in sure and certain hope of the resurrection to eternal life,
0:52:02 > 0:52:04through our Lord Jesus Christ,
0:52:04 > 0:52:08who died, was buried, and rose again for us.
0:52:08 > 0:52:12To Him be glory, for ever and ever. Amen.
0:52:23 > 0:52:26Blossom has arrived at the local church hall
0:52:26 > 0:52:28for her own living funeral.
0:52:28 > 0:52:31- Hello, darling. You look gorgeous. - Thank you.
0:52:31 > 0:52:35- Just a little card. Read it later.- OK.
0:52:35 > 0:52:38Over 100 people have come together to celebrate her life.
0:52:38 > 0:52:41- How are you feeling?- OK, yeah.
0:52:41 > 0:52:43Good. You're wonderful!
0:52:43 > 0:52:4620 years down the line, we're going to do this again.
0:52:48 > 0:52:51- It a living wake.- Yeah.
0:52:51 > 0:52:53- Live while you can.- Yeah. - I don't blame you.
0:52:54 > 0:52:56Hello.
0:52:58 > 0:53:03This is my grandson, from my eldest son.
0:53:03 > 0:53:06We're having lots of photographs taken and things,
0:53:06 > 0:53:08so he can remember me.
0:53:09 > 0:53:10Aren't we?
0:53:12 > 0:53:15Finding the right words for the special guest book
0:53:15 > 0:53:18is difficult for many of Blossom's friends.
0:53:20 > 0:53:22I've got no idea what I'm going to put.
0:53:22 > 0:53:25It's going to take me a while to think about it.
0:53:25 > 0:53:28I don't know what's appropriate in the circumstances.
0:53:36 > 0:53:38- We've come to support you. - We're going to come again next year.
0:53:38 > 0:53:41- You what?- We're going to come again next year.- I know!
0:53:41 > 0:53:44I found it a bit...strange
0:53:44 > 0:53:48that somebody could celebrate their life
0:53:48 > 0:53:52before they've died, if that makes sense.
0:53:52 > 0:53:55I don't think I could do it.
0:53:55 > 0:53:57- You look gorgeous.- Thank you.
0:53:58 > 0:54:01I think that anyone having to plan a living wake is in
0:54:01 > 0:54:04a very poor position in life, but to know that you are surrounded
0:54:04 > 0:54:08by your friends and people who love you, and truly love you,
0:54:08 > 0:54:10and they're the people that are here...
0:54:10 > 0:54:14I have lots of admiration for her, for being able to do this.
0:54:14 > 0:54:17You know, I find it incredibly difficult being here
0:54:17 > 0:54:19and not getting emotional about the whole event
0:54:19 > 0:54:22but, you know, it's for the greater good that we're all here.
0:54:29 > 0:54:32It's better than I'd expected. Yeah, it's lovely.
0:54:38 > 0:54:40- Just enjoy it.- Yeah.
0:54:40 > 0:54:42- Enjoy yourself.- Yeah.
0:54:42 > 0:54:46Thank you ever so much for turning up
0:54:46 > 0:54:48to my living-wake-cum-farewell-party,
0:54:48 > 0:54:51whatever you wish to call it.
0:54:51 > 0:54:53'I'd like them to just remember me long-term,
0:54:53 > 0:54:57'rather than me just fading into the background rather rapidly.'
0:54:57 > 0:55:00Because I didn't realise I knew so many people.
0:55:02 > 0:55:05'I think it's more that it's going to help other people.
0:55:06 > 0:55:09'They can see that I am well now,
0:55:09 > 0:55:13'they can see that I'm enjoying myself and it's not just a front.'
0:55:13 > 0:55:15Enjoy the party. Thank you.
0:55:19 > 0:55:25'It is how I am. Hoping to be inspirational to other people.
0:55:25 > 0:55:28'I'm hoping to make a difference.'
0:55:28 > 0:55:31I just feel as if there should be more than one of me
0:55:31 > 0:55:33to be able to get around everybody.
0:55:43 > 0:55:47It's wrong, isn't it? But it's life.
0:55:47 > 0:55:51'If it wasn't such a horrible event, that I'm losing my husband,
0:55:51 > 0:55:55'it's been a really positive and uplifting experience
0:55:55 > 0:55:57'for us as a family.
0:55:57 > 0:56:01'So, I recommend that any family should do what's right for them.'
0:56:01 > 0:56:03And that's my cherry tree.
0:56:03 > 0:56:05You're standing where I'll go one day.
0:56:07 > 0:56:08Not yet.
0:56:08 > 0:56:09Not yet, no.
0:56:13 > 0:56:15Thank you for coming, everybody.
0:56:22 > 0:56:26When we leave the graveyard, and we take 40 steps away from the grave,
0:56:26 > 0:56:30it is known that the body will basically sit up,
0:56:30 > 0:56:34and two angels will come to them and it will question them
0:56:34 > 0:56:36of everything they have done. All the goods, the bads,
0:56:36 > 0:56:38and from there it will start, basically.
0:56:42 > 0:56:45This is just moving from, I guess, one life to the other.
0:56:45 > 0:56:47It's not the ending, it's only the beginning.
0:56:47 > 0:56:51So, we pray to God to put him in the right position to answer.
0:56:51 > 0:56:53The right answer, Insha'Allah.
0:56:55 > 0:57:00It just shows that when somebody needs somebody, they are around.
0:57:00 > 0:57:02You know, the community gets together
0:57:02 > 0:57:08and it's great that so many people could get together so quickly.
0:57:09 > 0:57:11You know, he'll be in our thoughts.
0:57:14 > 0:57:17To see a funeral with no-one is unusual,
0:57:17 > 0:57:19and it does make you feel sad.
0:57:19 > 0:57:23But then, I take away with me a gladness and a satisfaction
0:57:23 > 0:57:26that this gentleman has had a proper funeral service.
0:57:26 > 0:57:31Had one of Anthony's family suddenly appeared at the last minute,
0:57:31 > 0:57:33the front row of seats was there for them, as they would have felt
0:57:33 > 0:57:36that was a proper funeral service and a fitting tribute to the man.
0:57:45 > 0:57:49From the minute you're born, you're dying. You just don't know when.
0:57:49 > 0:57:54Why not have a party beforehand, and celebrate your life?
0:57:55 > 0:58:00If you fancy doing something, just do it.
0:58:00 > 0:58:02Talk about it.
0:58:04 > 0:58:06It's your final wishes.
0:58:06 > 0:58:08Isn't it?
0:58:08 > 0:58:12You know, you are hoping that somebody is going to carry out
0:58:12 > 0:58:14just what you want, that makes you you.
0:58:16 > 0:58:18And there's only one chance at that.
0:58:53 > 0:58:56Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd