0:00:52 > 0:00:54WHOOSHING
0:01:01 > 0:01:04ELECTRIC CRACKLING
0:01:04 > 0:01:07SHRILL BEEPING
0:01:11 > 0:01:14I'm not quite conscious that I nearly died.
0:01:15 > 0:01:19And yet I'm pursued by, um...
0:01:21 > 0:01:24..this fear of violent death happening again.
0:01:33 > 0:01:36I had a subarachnoid aneurysm,
0:01:36 > 0:01:38and nobody was around to witness my attack.
0:01:38 > 0:01:43I had it in the most banal way. I was exercising on a StairMaster at a friend's,
0:01:43 > 0:01:48and it was quite comedic, actually, because when I fell off the machine,
0:01:48 > 0:01:52I crawled to the main house of the friends we were staying with.
0:01:52 > 0:01:56Well, I was just sort of having, like, shotguns in my head,
0:01:56 > 0:01:59these kind of convulsions, and I was just...
0:01:59 > 0:02:02I felt like my whole head was going to explode.
0:02:02 > 0:02:04For three days...
0:02:05 > 0:02:09..I had this haemorrhage in my head.
0:02:09 > 0:02:15And I was SO lucky that the blood did not go into the brain, cos I would have died straightaway.
0:02:15 > 0:02:20I followed an instinct on day three, as I was getting worse,
0:02:20 > 0:02:24and I was misdiagnosed with a viral encephalitis or viral meningitis.
0:02:24 > 0:02:29And on day three, I suddenly... An instinct in me told me,
0:02:29 > 0:02:31"I don't think I'll survive the weekend."
0:02:31 > 0:02:35And I was vomiting and the headaches were just atrocious.
0:02:36 > 0:02:41I managed to get to emergency, to ER at Cedars hospital.
0:02:41 > 0:02:46You were developing signs of brainstem dysfunction.
0:02:46 > 0:02:52You were unable to be aroused, you were not responsive,
0:02:52 > 0:02:57and you were beginning to have trouble breathing, for example.
0:02:57 > 0:03:01These are the signs telling us that there were really some
0:03:01 > 0:03:04structures that were in jeopardy if we did not operate.
0:03:08 > 0:03:10I'm on a drip.
0:03:10 > 0:03:11It's midnight.
0:03:12 > 0:03:13I'm crying.
0:03:15 > 0:03:18My headaches are relentless.
0:03:18 > 0:03:19I NEED morphine.
0:03:21 > 0:03:23I'm in and out of tubes.
0:03:25 > 0:03:27It's dawn...
0:03:27 > 0:03:30and I'm having a lumbar puncture.
0:03:30 > 0:03:33The nurse holds me close to her as they draw the fluid from my spine.
0:03:35 > 0:03:37There's blood in the liquid.
0:03:37 > 0:03:40The disease is declaring itself. LIGHT BULBS BUZZING
0:03:40 > 0:03:42A relief.
0:03:43 > 0:03:44Then the fear takes over.
0:03:46 > 0:03:48Am I dying?
0:03:48 > 0:03:53I remember just being on my own and hearing all the hospital noises
0:03:53 > 0:03:58and thinking, "OK, I'm ready to go.
0:03:59 > 0:04:04"I'm OK now, I'm ready to go. I don't want this pain any more."
0:04:06 > 0:04:08'They're going to operate.
0:04:08 > 0:04:10'The surgeon radiates hope.
0:04:12 > 0:04:15MACHINE BEEPS 'And, when I'm gone,
0:04:15 > 0:04:18'he opens my head to fix the machinery.'
0:04:20 > 0:04:23CUTTING UTENSIL GRINDS AND SCREECHES
0:04:33 > 0:04:35HEART MONITOR BEEPS
0:04:39 > 0:04:41Consciousness.
0:04:42 > 0:04:46My brain restores the basic order of things.
0:04:46 > 0:04:48Who am I?
0:04:50 > 0:04:51Where am I?
0:04:53 > 0:04:55I need to pee but I'm too weak to move.
0:04:57 > 0:05:00Shifting my limbs is like moving an iron mannequin.
0:05:01 > 0:05:06I slump to the toilet seat, exhausted. Bones jutting.
0:05:08 > 0:05:13And, there in the mirror, is someone else staring back at me.
0:05:14 > 0:05:19Sunken eyes, bruises on her shaven head and an ugly scar.
0:05:21 > 0:05:23What HAPPENED to me?
0:05:27 > 0:05:30'We are all close to the brink of being someone else.
0:05:30 > 0:05:36'The rupture of an artery wall or a lapse of concentration at the wheel of a car
0:05:36 > 0:05:39'is all it takes to cause a mind-shattering brain injury.'
0:05:44 > 0:05:48'My glimpse of death has left me with so many questions about life.'
0:05:49 > 0:05:52'What are we, Maryam,
0:05:52 > 0:05:57'and what are we to make of our brief time in the world?'
0:05:57 > 0:06:00'And what traces do we leave behind?'
0:06:00 > 0:06:03'The body can be dismantled and displayed in cabinets,
0:06:03 > 0:06:08'but mostly, we leave no more than our bones behind.'
0:06:09 > 0:06:12'And the mind?'
0:06:12 > 0:06:16'Fragments of mind can live on through ideas and through trails of memory
0:06:16 > 0:06:18'in other people's minds.'
0:06:23 > 0:06:25'But what about the soul?'
0:06:26 > 0:06:29'Ah, the ghost in the machine.
0:06:29 > 0:06:33'And here's the machine - the brain.
0:06:33 > 0:06:39'All worlds real and imagined are contained within its folds and convolutions.
0:06:39 > 0:06:45'Trees and stars, words and thoughts, and ghosts like us.'
0:06:45 > 0:06:47Everything?
0:06:47 > 0:06:51'The universe...and more.'
0:06:51 > 0:06:54But yet, it's so fragile.
0:06:56 > 0:06:57Your brain is very greedy.
0:06:57 > 0:07:01It's the greediest organ in your body for oxygen and glucose,
0:07:01 > 0:07:04more than any other part of your body at rest.
0:07:04 > 0:07:07And the way the oxygen gets to the brain is through blood,
0:07:07 > 0:07:12and that's through lots and lots of blood vessels - little tiny bifurcating
0:07:12 > 0:07:15branch-like processes leading off from your arteries and your veins
0:07:15 > 0:07:20that ensure your brain tissue gets a really constant supply of oxygen.
0:07:20 > 0:07:23If something goes wrong, then the brain tissue will die.
0:07:23 > 0:07:27And the ways it can go wrong is, for example, with something called an aneurysm,
0:07:27 > 0:07:29and that's from the Greek, "to dilate".
0:07:29 > 0:07:33So, an aneurysm is a kind of ballooning of a vessel.
0:07:33 > 0:07:36And you can imagine if you're stretching and stretching a balloon,
0:07:36 > 0:07:41and what happens with a balloon if you put too much inside it? It will eventually burst.
0:07:41 > 0:07:45So, an aneurysm is a sign that something may be about to burst,
0:07:45 > 0:07:48and if it does, that causes what's called a haemorrhage,
0:07:48 > 0:07:53which means that the blood leaks out into the brain and not to the places it's supposed to be.
0:07:53 > 0:07:56Well, my view is that aneurysms form very quickly.
0:07:56 > 0:07:59May even be in a few minutes, or instantly.
0:07:59 > 0:08:03The tear in the artery causes a blow out,
0:08:03 > 0:08:05and then they either just sit there doing nothing
0:08:05 > 0:08:10or it bursts there and then and the patient presents with a subarachnoid haemorrhage.
0:08:10 > 0:08:13The most difficult aneurysms are those which have already ruptured,
0:08:13 > 0:08:15cos they're in a very unstable situation.
0:08:15 > 0:08:19Even those who reach the neurosurgical unit and have the aneurysm treated,
0:08:19 > 0:08:25probably only 30 to 40% at the most get back to their premorbid state -
0:08:25 > 0:08:28ie, what they were before the brain haemorrhage -
0:08:28 > 0:08:30and are able to function normally again.
0:08:30 > 0:08:32TRAFFIC NOISE
0:08:36 > 0:08:38You were not to know that your head contained a time bomb.
0:08:39 > 0:08:42Many people go about their lives quite unaware
0:08:42 > 0:08:45of the potentially fatal defects their brains are harbouring.
0:08:45 > 0:08:49Blood-filled bulges known as aneurysms - little time bombs.
0:08:51 > 0:08:54If an aneurysm bursts, a form of stroke,
0:08:54 > 0:08:56the results are often catastrophic.
0:08:56 > 0:08:59Sudden death in about one third of cases,
0:08:59 > 0:09:02death within a month for another third,
0:09:02 > 0:09:06and severe disability for many of the third who survive.
0:09:06 > 0:09:09Aneurysms occur on the blood vessels on the surface of the brain,
0:09:09 > 0:09:11so they aren't actually within the brain substance.
0:09:11 > 0:09:15In contrast to other sorts of vascular problems like
0:09:15 > 0:09:18arteriovenous malformations which exist in the brain.
0:09:19 > 0:09:21The risk of having a stroke,
0:09:21 > 0:09:25including subarachnoid haemorrhage, increases dramatically with age.
0:09:25 > 0:09:30Nine out of ten people affected are over the age of 55,
0:09:30 > 0:09:33but anyone of any age can fall victim.
0:09:35 > 0:09:38Goang-Jong Shu was scarcely out of her teens.
0:09:40 > 0:09:44I graduated sophomore year with flying colours.
0:09:45 > 0:09:48I had the highest grade in my classes.
0:09:48 > 0:09:50And I was really involved
0:09:50 > 0:09:53in Key Club and community services.
0:09:53 > 0:09:57And so, you know, I got my permit, my driving permit,
0:09:57 > 0:10:02so I was on the top of the hill, and then this happened, so...
0:10:03 > 0:10:06You know, my first reaction was, you know, "Why me?"
0:10:06 > 0:10:10You know, "Why did this happen?" I was doing fine.
0:10:10 > 0:10:14My wife and I have come to a conclusion that it must be
0:10:14 > 0:10:16she got too...
0:10:17 > 0:10:20..too much pressure from herself.
0:10:20 > 0:10:25She was just striving for everything to be perfect.
0:10:25 > 0:10:30So the aneurysm in the brain kept growing from one head,
0:10:30 > 0:10:34and it kept growing into the three heads,
0:10:34 > 0:10:39so it doesn't matter what time it ruptured.
0:10:39 > 0:10:41And once it ruptured,
0:10:41 > 0:10:44then the result is either...
0:10:44 > 0:10:46either...
0:10:46 > 0:10:49she will be dying or go in a coma.
0:10:50 > 0:10:54- Become a vegetarian.- A vegetable. - Vegetable.- Vegetable.
0:10:54 > 0:10:56LAUGHS: Vegetarian!
0:10:57 > 0:11:02The artery from which the aneurysm arises is so damaged by the aneurysm
0:11:02 > 0:11:06that is has to be completely blocked off.
0:11:06 > 0:11:11The problem with that is that it deprives the brain downstream of circulation,
0:11:11 > 0:11:16and so in order to protect the brain from a stroke while completely closing off the aneurysm,
0:11:16 > 0:11:17one has to do a bypass.
0:11:17 > 0:11:20- A 16-hour surgery.- Yeah.
0:11:21 > 0:11:24Personally, I cannot imagine...
0:11:24 > 0:11:29a doctor can perform a surgery for 16 hours.
0:11:29 > 0:11:31The surface of the brain is here.
0:11:31 > 0:11:35We have to open the cleft between two of the brain lobes
0:11:35 > 0:11:37and identify this blood vessel.
0:11:37 > 0:11:41This will be the area where the bypass is performed.
0:11:41 > 0:11:43Now, the clock is ticking when you close off the artery.
0:11:43 > 0:11:46You can't close off the brain artery indefinitely,
0:11:46 > 0:11:51so we have to work quickly and finish that closure within half an hour,
0:11:51 > 0:11:53or the brain is exposed to a period of time
0:11:53 > 0:11:56without adequate circulation and a stroke might occur.
0:11:56 > 0:11:58The good thing is that children are very resilient.
0:11:58 > 0:12:01Their brains are very resilient.
0:12:01 > 0:12:05If you can close off the weakness, if you can do a bypass if necessary
0:12:05 > 0:12:10to preserve the circulation, their recovery is often fantastic.
0:12:10 > 0:12:14And so, for example, if you wanted to pick the glass of water to drink,
0:12:14 > 0:12:18how would you do that with your right hand?
0:12:18 > 0:12:21Or you would not be able to?
0:12:21 > 0:12:25I think I would be able to, but I can use, like, both hands.
0:12:25 > 0:12:26Both hands?
0:12:26 > 0:12:27OK, so it helps you.
0:12:27 > 0:12:31We're very proud of her, taking all this.
0:12:33 > 0:12:34And...
0:12:36 > 0:12:39..I guess that's what we parents can do.
0:12:44 > 0:12:47Aww, making you cry!
0:12:47 > 0:12:50I just felt that if I could go through this process,
0:12:50 > 0:12:55and if I had the strength to go through it,
0:12:55 > 0:12:58then I can endure anything. I can go through anything in life.
0:13:00 > 0:13:04- I can feel his heart beating.- Aww!
0:13:04 > 0:13:05They're very, very...
0:13:05 > 0:13:09- They've helped a lot of people in recovery, you know?- Uh-huh.
0:13:09 > 0:13:11I mean, he's just a rabbit.
0:13:11 > 0:13:14But he's so cuddly!
0:13:15 > 0:13:20'There's something wonderful about victims
0:13:20 > 0:13:23'who have been through a major operation.
0:13:23 > 0:13:26'They really are eager to start again in life
0:13:26 > 0:13:30'and there's this sort of, like, childlike quality about them all.
0:13:30 > 0:13:33'There's no more cynicism, there's not a judgement.
0:13:33 > 0:13:38'And it's heart-warming to see the joy and the humour.'
0:13:42 > 0:13:48When you're walking in the streets and the brain's been bruised
0:13:48 > 0:13:52and you see people coming at you from all directions...
0:13:52 > 0:13:57WHOOSHING ..it's like being in a cinema and you're too close to the screen.
0:13:57 > 0:14:01TRAFFIC NOISE The traffic, avoiding, you know, being run over by a car.
0:14:01 > 0:14:05Just simple things like that, which are completely normal
0:14:05 > 0:14:08and we take for granted when we're... when we're normal.
0:14:19 > 0:14:21The brain has a consistency of jell-o,
0:14:21 > 0:14:24but it's a fragile,
0:14:24 > 0:14:27beautiful, pulsating, kind of a pink structure
0:14:27 > 0:14:31with a latticework of very fine vessels coursing around,
0:14:31 > 0:14:36with an incredible anatomy of nerves and arteries
0:14:36 > 0:14:40and wonderful structures that make up who we are.
0:14:40 > 0:14:41You are in the human brain,
0:14:41 > 0:14:45you are in the most beautiful structure in the universe,
0:14:45 > 0:14:48and that experience is always special.
0:14:49 > 0:14:53You realise that you are working close to the artwork of God.
0:14:53 > 0:14:56I vividly remember one patient
0:14:56 > 0:14:58who had two aneurysms.
0:14:58 > 0:15:03We had removed about 80 or 90% of the malformation.
0:15:05 > 0:15:09And it was just 10% left to remove.
0:15:10 > 0:15:15And the one thing you are always taught
0:15:15 > 0:15:18is you leave the draining vein,
0:15:18 > 0:15:21the vein that is draining all the blood out, until last.
0:15:21 > 0:15:26We cut the vein and immediately that vein, you know,
0:15:26 > 0:15:32became engorged with blood and stood up erect and everything,
0:15:32 > 0:15:34you know, at that point changed.
0:15:34 > 0:15:37And it was the one time in my life I felt that this patient
0:15:37 > 0:15:39was going to die on the table.
0:15:39 > 0:15:40We just had one chance.
0:15:40 > 0:15:42Immediately, we just...with everything we can,
0:15:42 > 0:15:47working through a pool of blood, you know, just...almost blindly,
0:15:47 > 0:15:52took out the last 10% of arteriovenous malformation.
0:15:52 > 0:15:55And miraculously, it was like the clouds parted,
0:15:55 > 0:15:59the swelling went down, the bleeding stopped and everything was calm.
0:15:59 > 0:16:03Aneurysms do call for a very fine, careful dissection.
0:16:03 > 0:16:05It's a bit like bomb disposal work,
0:16:05 > 0:16:06except it's the patient's life at risk
0:16:06 > 0:16:08rather than the surgeon's.
0:16:08 > 0:16:11What's crucial about neurosurgery is not really the operating,
0:16:11 > 0:16:13it's the decision-making.
0:16:13 > 0:16:16If you get too involved, you can't do the work.
0:16:16 > 0:16:19And that is particularly the case, in a way, with aneurysm surgery,
0:16:19 > 0:16:21which is this very...
0:16:21 > 0:16:23more or less, a make or break operation.
0:16:23 > 0:16:27You open the patient's head, you then sort of stalk slowly
0:16:27 > 0:16:31and microscopically along the major arteries, underneath the brain.
0:16:31 > 0:16:35Then you have this climactic moment when you catch the aneurysm
0:16:35 > 0:16:37with a clip and you've got to be very careful
0:16:37 > 0:16:40the aneurysm doesn't burst in the process.
0:16:40 > 0:16:43If it does burst, then you get an intraoperative rupture.
0:16:43 > 0:16:44That's very serious.
0:16:44 > 0:16:47There's a high risk the patient will die on the table.
0:16:48 > 0:16:50Stop, Dave.
0:16:55 > 0:16:57I'm afraid.
0:16:57 > 0:17:00Everything about neurosurgery, it's not just life or death,
0:17:00 > 0:17:02it's quality of life.
0:17:02 > 0:17:04You have even more difficult things, like at the front of the brain,
0:17:04 > 0:17:07where damage causes personality change.
0:17:07 > 0:17:10And people no longer are the people they were.
0:17:11 > 0:17:13My mind is going.
0:17:18 > 0:17:20I can feel it.
0:17:20 > 0:17:23And what's so weird about that is that the patient themselves
0:17:23 > 0:17:24doesn't know that.
0:17:25 > 0:17:29My instructor was Mr Langley.
0:17:29 > 0:17:31And he taught me to sing a song.
0:17:34 > 0:17:38If you'd like to hear it, I can sing it for you.
0:17:39 > 0:17:44Yes, I would like to hear it, HAL. Sing it for me.
0:17:44 > 0:17:48Many of these people, you know, have suffered social collapse.
0:17:48 > 0:17:50They've lost their job, their marriage has broken down
0:17:50 > 0:17:54and they're sitting at home on, I don't know, disability pay.
0:17:54 > 0:17:58They're intellectually intact but no longer able to function socially.
0:17:58 > 0:18:01That's very sad. There's not much you can do to avoid that.
0:18:02 > 0:18:06# Daisy, Daisy
0:18:08 > 0:18:12# Give me your answer, do. #
0:18:21 > 0:18:25The functions of the brain are easily warped by disease and injury.
0:18:25 > 0:18:29Memories can be shattered, emotions destabilized.
0:18:29 > 0:18:33It's a kind of civil war - body in conflict with mind.
0:18:39 > 0:18:44Neil Kitchen is one of the world's most distinguished neurosurgeons.
0:18:44 > 0:18:48He is in the process of cutting open a flap of skull bone to gain
0:18:48 > 0:18:49access to his patient's brain.
0:18:51 > 0:18:54The goal of the operation is to remove a cancerous brain tumour.
0:18:56 > 0:18:59He performs his task dispassionately,
0:18:59 > 0:19:02like a mechanic fixing damaged machinery.
0:19:02 > 0:19:04But this machine, the brain,
0:19:04 > 0:19:07is also the vessel of his patient's hopes and fears,
0:19:07 > 0:19:10his dreams and his memories.
0:19:10 > 0:19:11All that he is.
0:19:26 > 0:19:28And consider this,
0:19:28 > 0:19:31Mr Kitchen's compassionate skills will at best
0:19:31 > 0:19:34grant the man but a few months more to live.
0:19:34 > 0:19:38Inevitably, the cancer will prevail.
0:19:41 > 0:19:47All this for a few months more, to be with his family.
0:19:47 > 0:19:51What clearer confirmation of the value of life?
0:19:51 > 0:19:53Than love?
0:20:12 > 0:20:14"Do not go gentle into that good night,
0:20:14 > 0:20:18"rage, rage against the dying of the light."
0:20:18 > 0:20:21Think of what's involved here.
0:20:21 > 0:20:23Here is the human brain,
0:20:23 > 0:20:27which is a three-pound mass of jelly I can hold in the palm of my hand.
0:20:27 > 0:20:31And yet it can contemplate the vastness of interstellar space,
0:20:31 > 0:20:32it can contemplate
0:20:32 > 0:20:34the meaning of infinity and of numbers,
0:20:34 > 0:20:37it can even contemplate itself contemplating,
0:20:37 > 0:20:38what we call self-awareness.
0:20:38 > 0:20:42It can start introspecting on itself and raise profound questions about
0:20:42 > 0:20:46the meaning of its own existence and why it has arrived in this cosmos.
0:20:47 > 0:20:51To contemplate the brain is to enter a hall of mirrors.
0:20:51 > 0:20:53We are looking in at ourselves looking out.
0:20:53 > 0:20:55Looking in, looking out.
0:20:55 > 0:20:58That is the curious thing about brain science.
0:20:58 > 0:21:02The object of study is also the investigator.
0:21:02 > 0:21:06I am my brain and I am not my brain.
0:21:06 > 0:21:10I am not my brain, but I am nothing without my brain.
0:21:10 > 0:21:15As the Bard said, "I could be bounded in a nutshell
0:21:15 > 0:21:17"and count myself the king of infinite space."
0:21:21 > 0:21:25The human brain consists of 100 billion nerve cells.
0:21:25 > 0:21:28Each nerve cell makes something like 1,000 to 10,000 contacts
0:21:28 > 0:21:29with adjacent nerve cells.
0:21:29 > 0:21:33And each point of contact, called a synapse, can either be off or on.
0:21:33 > 0:21:36So, this gives you some idea of the staggering complexity of the brain.
0:21:36 > 0:21:38The number of permutations
0:21:38 > 0:21:40and combinations of brain activity, or brain states,
0:21:40 > 0:21:44exceeds the number of elementary particles in the known universe.
0:21:45 > 0:21:49The human brain can explain the ghostly interior of an atom,
0:21:49 > 0:21:52but it cannot fathom its own ghostly interior.
0:21:53 > 0:21:56Consciousness remains a profound mystery.
0:21:56 > 0:22:00It seems absurd that self-awareness can be conjured up from meat,
0:22:00 > 0:22:04a lump of proteins, fats, sugars and salt.
0:22:06 > 0:22:09So, what am I? Thing?
0:22:09 > 0:22:10Or thought?
0:22:10 > 0:22:12You are both.
0:22:12 > 0:22:13And neither.
0:22:15 > 0:22:17But I am a person.
0:22:17 > 0:22:22A flimsy construction, fragile as a bubble on the breeze.
0:22:22 > 0:22:24It's highly unlikely we have souls.
0:22:24 > 0:22:26- It's highly unlikely there's an afterlife.- Why is that?
0:22:26 > 0:22:28Well, because I said,
0:22:28 > 0:22:30if you've seen people with frontal brain damage...
0:22:30 > 0:22:31Yes.
0:22:31 > 0:22:34..it's very hard to believe that somehow when they die,
0:22:34 > 0:22:36it all comes back again. It doesn't make sense.
0:22:36 > 0:22:40We can't get our heads around death, that's the thing.
0:22:40 > 0:22:41We can't conceive...
0:22:41 > 0:22:44Well, if you think that there is some, you know,
0:22:44 > 0:22:47heavenly theme park that we go to when we die,
0:22:47 > 0:22:49and I find that really hard to imagine,
0:22:49 > 0:22:52who do you meet there? What do you do for the rest of eternity?
0:22:52 > 0:22:55But that aside, if you don't believe that...
0:22:57 > 0:22:58..um...
0:23:00 > 0:23:01..how can you imagine nothingness?
0:23:01 > 0:23:04Everything that we imagine is built on something-ness.
0:23:04 > 0:23:06Which is maybe one of the reasons, you know,
0:23:06 > 0:23:09that we shouldn't be afraid of it.
0:23:09 > 0:23:12If there's nothing that we can imagine or experience,
0:23:12 > 0:23:14then there's nothing to be afraid of.
0:23:14 > 0:23:16I'm not actually scared of death,
0:23:16 > 0:23:19you know, like going to sleep and not waking up,
0:23:19 > 0:23:23but I am scared of the violence before dying. The pain.
0:23:25 > 0:23:26That physical pain.
0:23:26 > 0:23:30And I think that the fear of it happening again is part
0:23:30 > 0:23:34of the trauma, and I think it's part of the trauma that a lot
0:23:34 > 0:23:37of brain-injured suffer from.
0:23:37 > 0:23:41Even though they might be happier in rejoicing in their new life,
0:23:41 > 0:23:46you know, but there is that fear.
0:23:53 > 0:23:57For the fortunate few who recover without major disability,
0:23:57 > 0:24:01the close encounter with death can be terrifying.
0:24:01 > 0:24:02And often life changing.
0:24:05 > 0:24:08In the world's killers,
0:24:08 > 0:24:12after heart and cancer,
0:24:12 > 0:24:14it's the third biggest killer in the world.
0:24:16 > 0:24:21I mean, of 150,000 people who have a stroke in Britain this year,
0:24:21 > 0:24:23one third will die.
0:24:23 > 0:24:26Roughly. And another third will be so badly disabled
0:24:26 > 0:24:28that they will never work again.
0:24:28 > 0:24:32One of the things about affliction to the brain is that no-one...
0:24:32 > 0:24:35one doesn't know much about it. I didn't know a thing.
0:24:35 > 0:24:37I didn't even know what a stroke was.
0:24:37 > 0:24:40And I was 42 at the time, so I should have known.
0:24:40 > 0:24:44But there had never been one in my family, I had never seen one.
0:24:44 > 0:24:47As far as I... Now, of course, I am very alert to them.
0:24:47 > 0:24:49And when I came home, I just felt very unwell and I made
0:24:49 > 0:24:50a cup of tea and went to bed.
0:24:50 > 0:24:53Whenever I woke up the following morning,
0:24:53 > 0:24:56I was completely paralysed down my left side.
0:24:56 > 0:24:59And I had had what was called a right hemorrhagic infarct.
0:24:59 > 0:25:02The right side of the brain goes to the left.
0:25:02 > 0:25:05I was very fortunate, because if you have a left side,
0:25:05 > 0:25:07you lose language, you lose speech.
0:25:07 > 0:25:11And I had none of that. I have a slight stammer as a result of it.
0:25:11 > 0:25:15The stroke itself took place in what is called
0:25:15 > 0:25:17the basal ganglia in the brain.
0:25:17 > 0:25:19Very deep.
0:25:19 > 0:25:21And it's the bit which controls the tongue,
0:25:21 > 0:25:24so, for example, right now, for instance,
0:25:24 > 0:25:27I'm having to think quite hard about speaking,
0:25:27 > 0:25:29which I wouldn't have done before the stroke.
0:25:29 > 0:25:32When I was in hospital, my left side was complete...
0:25:32 > 0:25:34I couldn't stand. I was in a wheelchair.
0:25:34 > 0:25:36And, um...
0:25:36 > 0:25:38For a long time, for about three months,
0:25:38 > 0:25:41it looked as though I'd spend the rest of my life in a wheelchair.
0:25:41 > 0:25:46But, you know, my life before the stroke feels like another life.
0:25:46 > 0:25:48It feels very remote.
0:25:48 > 0:25:50And it feels like something I've lost.
0:25:50 > 0:25:52- It's a loss?- It's a loss.
0:25:52 > 0:25:55So, I think part of when I think about anger,
0:25:55 > 0:25:58it's partly the anger of bereavement,
0:25:58 > 0:25:59self bereavement.
0:25:59 > 0:26:01Then the other thing that I had to do is that
0:26:01 > 0:26:04I had to find a way of dealing with the depression,
0:26:04 > 0:26:09because I think one of the things is you get very depressed,
0:26:09 > 0:26:13you know, depressed at the loss of, you know, one's old life.
0:26:13 > 0:26:19I felt very ashamed and very, very overwhelmed by that.
0:26:19 > 0:26:22And very nervous. And awkward.
0:26:22 > 0:26:26Even meeting old friends, it could sometimes be very difficult.
0:26:26 > 0:26:30Well, you're a writer, and I think it's great,
0:26:30 > 0:26:33great news that your mind has not been affected.
0:26:33 > 0:26:36I've got my language, I've got my words and I've got my right hand,
0:26:36 > 0:26:38so I can always write with my right hand.
0:26:38 > 0:26:40I did feel, and I wanted to express myself,
0:26:40 > 0:26:43I wanted to express my story, get it out.
0:26:44 > 0:26:48And so, in some ways, I think the effect of the stroke was
0:26:48 > 0:26:51to sharpen my desire to write, to be creative.
0:26:51 > 0:26:56I had to kind of except it. I wrote a book about it. And then move on.
0:26:56 > 0:26:59A really interesting feature of a stroke
0:26:59 > 0:27:03is that very frequently people have partial
0:27:03 > 0:27:04and sometimes complete recovery.
0:27:04 > 0:27:06I know this from my own father
0:27:06 > 0:27:09who had a stroke, oh, about now 15 years ago.
0:27:09 > 0:27:11It was really very extensive, the damage.
0:27:11 > 0:27:14And then, within a few weeks, he started to recognise people.
0:27:14 > 0:27:18And then, amazingly, he has now got his driving licence back,
0:27:18 > 0:27:20Not that he's allowed to use it, because he's 95!
0:27:20 > 0:27:23So I've seen first hand how brilliantly
0:27:23 > 0:27:27and how quickly the brain can recover from a stroke depending
0:27:27 > 0:27:29on the extent of the damage and where the damage is, of course.
0:27:29 > 0:27:31The more a brain cell is made to work,
0:27:31 > 0:27:34the stronger the connections between other brain cells will be.
0:27:34 > 0:27:37So, if you are suddenly making other brain cells work
0:27:37 > 0:27:40because some have died, then they will make connections,
0:27:40 > 0:27:43and that can be part of the so-called plasticity
0:27:43 > 0:27:45of the brain, its ability to recover.
0:27:45 > 0:27:46In addition to phantom pain,
0:27:46 > 0:27:49people have also applied this technique to treating strokes.
0:27:49 > 0:27:52You can make a phantom limb appear to move,
0:27:52 > 0:27:54that alleviates phantom pain.
0:27:54 > 0:27:58What about after an actual stroke, which causes actual paralysis?
0:27:58 > 0:28:00Some of this paralysis is due to permanent injury
0:28:00 > 0:28:02to the nerve fibres going from the neural cortex
0:28:02 > 0:28:05of the right side to the arm, down the spinal cord into the arm.
0:28:05 > 0:28:07So, there's not much you can do about that.
0:28:07 > 0:28:09Those fibres are permanently damaged.
0:28:09 > 0:28:13But maybe some of the paralysis is a temporary paralysis caused by
0:28:13 > 0:28:17a temporary block of nerve signals going from the motor areas
0:28:17 > 0:28:18of the brain to the arm.
0:28:18 > 0:28:20So, on a hunch, we said, what if you put a mirror and have
0:28:20 > 0:28:23the chap look at his reflection of his normal arm in the mirror.
0:28:23 > 0:28:26So it looks like, when he makes a command,
0:28:26 > 0:28:29that the paralysed arm comes to life and starts moving.
0:28:29 > 0:28:32Obviously, it's not actually moving, it is lying paralysed.
0:28:32 > 0:28:35Astonishingly, it gives the illusion that the paralysed arm is moving.
0:28:35 > 0:28:38Many of them break into tears until they look on the other side
0:28:38 > 0:28:40of the mirror and realise it's not moving.
0:28:40 > 0:28:44But then, with repeated practice, the arm actually starts moving,
0:28:44 > 0:28:45a paralysed arm.
0:28:45 > 0:28:47Not in all the patients, but in about one third.
0:28:47 > 0:28:49I claim that some of this which we regard as permanent
0:28:49 > 0:28:51is actually temporary.
0:28:51 > 0:28:53There are cells that are dormant there, inactive.
0:28:53 > 0:28:56Using mirror feedback, you can revive the function
0:28:56 > 0:28:59of these cells so the patient actually starts moving his arm.
0:28:59 > 0:29:01Now we believe there is hope.
0:29:01 > 0:29:06Now we believe we can teach the immune system how to
0:29:06 > 0:29:11turn on those signals to regenerate those areas of the human brain.
0:29:11 > 0:29:15It's very similar to if you imagine that you get a cut on your hand,
0:29:15 > 0:29:20it is actually your immune system that tells your skin stem cells
0:29:20 > 0:29:25to either turn that area where you were cut into a scar
0:29:25 > 0:29:29or to heal it and regenerate it so that you never see the scar.
0:29:29 > 0:29:33So, we are beginning to understand that the same process
0:29:33 > 0:29:35occurs in the human brain.
0:29:35 > 0:29:39And the more we understand about those immune cells, the more we can,
0:29:39 > 0:29:43hopefully, direct that regeneration in the direction that we want.
0:29:43 > 0:29:46Now, I think an accident
0:29:46 > 0:29:50of whatever level that gives you this kind of disability,
0:29:50 > 0:29:52um...
0:29:52 > 0:29:56makes you appreciate more life and be less sort of anxious
0:29:56 > 0:29:58about making it.
0:30:12 > 0:30:14So, show where they operated.
0:30:14 > 0:30:18They took out from... they went in first...
0:30:18 > 0:30:23- My first operation was just to go in and clamp the aneurysm.- Mm-hm.
0:30:23 > 0:30:26So they took out some of my skull here, went in, clamped it
0:30:26 > 0:30:28then put the skull back.
0:30:28 > 0:30:33And now... That first operation I had tubes coming out,
0:30:33 > 0:30:36but, you know, just a little scar.
0:30:36 > 0:30:37So, you had one big aneurysm.
0:30:37 > 0:30:39I had one big bleed.
0:30:39 > 0:30:43That was operated on, clamped. That was on a Friday.
0:30:43 > 0:30:48Then Saturday came and they were doing the cognitive question
0:30:48 > 0:30:51and answers, they were watching my pressure.
0:30:51 > 0:30:54I did not remember this at all. It's the only part that...
0:30:54 > 0:30:57- I guess I started to slip away. - So why?
0:30:57 > 0:30:59Why did you have a second operation?
0:30:59 > 0:31:02Because my brain started to swell and so the pressure
0:31:02 > 0:31:07in my cranial area was, you know, being affected,
0:31:07 > 0:31:08and that's very dangerous.
0:31:08 > 0:31:12So, they had to do an emergency surgery to remove
0:31:12 > 0:31:15half of my skull to allow my brain to swell.
0:31:15 > 0:31:20So, what they did is they opened up from here all the way back
0:31:20 > 0:31:28to here and they removed pretty much this half of my skull here.
0:31:28 > 0:31:29From here.
0:31:29 > 0:31:34And they stored it... and they stored it
0:31:34 > 0:31:37in my abdominal wall.
0:31:37 > 0:31:40This is a model of a patient's skull who had a fall.
0:31:40 > 0:31:44So, at surgery, we had to remove a good-sized piece of the skull
0:31:44 > 0:31:46and remove blood there.
0:31:46 > 0:31:49And the patient had a fair amount of swelling and some trouble,
0:31:49 > 0:31:52so we had to leave the skull off.
0:31:52 > 0:31:55So, you have either the option of trying to keep the piece
0:31:55 > 0:31:58of skull, like store it in the abdomen,
0:31:58 > 0:32:02like in this layer under the skin where it can stay vascularised...
0:32:02 > 0:32:05Some places will store the bone in a freezer
0:32:05 > 0:32:07and then it can be re-implanted.
0:32:07 > 0:32:10The disadvantage of that is it tends to kill a lot of the bone cells
0:32:10 > 0:32:11that are in there.
0:32:11 > 0:32:15Then I came home after that to recuperate for about two months
0:32:15 > 0:32:19and then go back and put the skull back.
0:32:19 > 0:32:22And so, when all that is kind of,
0:32:22 > 0:32:24"OK, well, we're going to put you back.
0:32:24 > 0:32:26"Before long, it's going to grow over.
0:32:26 > 0:32:28"You're not going to even see your scar."
0:32:28 > 0:32:29I kind of have a sense of loss
0:32:29 > 0:32:32because I feel it was a gift that was given to me.
0:32:33 > 0:32:36Now, how long has it been since the third operation?
0:32:36 > 0:32:38It will be...
0:32:38 > 0:32:40Oh, it was July 1, three months today.
0:32:40 > 0:32:44You know, it's a new normal, and it's finding your footing,
0:32:44 > 0:32:47how you can, you know, feel like...
0:32:47 > 0:32:49I want to go back out into the world.
0:32:49 > 0:32:50I have a lot to say.
0:32:50 > 0:32:54I am so grateful, you know,
0:32:54 > 0:32:58that I want to be able to be this very productive person now.
0:32:58 > 0:33:02Not that I wasn't before, but now it's just different, now it's new.
0:33:02 > 0:33:04Everything is... I want to look at everything.
0:33:04 > 0:33:06Everything looks so beautiful.
0:33:06 > 0:33:10Maryam is my wife.
0:33:10 > 0:33:14And I experienced her whole saga
0:33:14 > 0:33:18of her headaches for weeks and weeks
0:33:18 > 0:33:21and weeks and then this violent attack that she had.
0:33:21 > 0:33:28And it was terribly important that I didn't convey my pain to her.
0:33:28 > 0:33:34And this is something that often is forgotten about - families,
0:33:34 > 0:33:40husbands and wives, children of the brain sufferer.
0:33:40 > 0:33:43You can't transmit your fears, you have to be positive,
0:33:43 > 0:33:46you have to be up, you have to boost the morale
0:33:46 > 0:33:51and show hope where often there may not be hope.
0:33:51 > 0:33:55It's a very, very, very painful thing.
0:33:57 > 0:34:02It was a sensation unlike anything I have ever experienced, obviously.
0:34:02 > 0:34:05It was almost a sort of out of body experience.
0:34:05 > 0:34:11It was as if the life was being literally sucked from me.
0:34:11 > 0:34:13It was as if my body was made of tubes
0:34:13 > 0:34:18and a great vacuum inside of me was actually sucking life out.
0:34:18 > 0:34:20I remember saying to Bella,
0:34:20 > 0:34:22"If I faint, I won't come back."
0:34:22 > 0:34:28Because I had the feeling that I was on the edge of some...
0:34:28 > 0:34:34something very extreme, you know, and very worrying, very alarming.
0:34:34 > 0:34:36And I called the doctor immediately
0:34:36 > 0:34:39and he called back and said, "I think you better call
0:34:39 > 0:34:44"the ambulance just in case it's a subarachnoid haemorrhage."
0:34:44 > 0:34:45Which is what it was.
0:34:45 > 0:34:48Your prospects are pretty low, I mean, it's something like 10%
0:34:48 > 0:34:50or less of survival.
0:34:50 > 0:34:52And there are various factors in this.
0:34:52 > 0:34:56I mean, not only is it the bleeding that can kill you,
0:34:56 > 0:34:58but the operation can kill you.
0:34:58 > 0:35:00And then, as I discovered,
0:35:00 > 0:35:03this extraordinary operation they did, which was to float
0:35:03 > 0:35:07a piece of titanium from my groin through the blood vessels,
0:35:07 > 0:35:10up into my brain here, through the tiny little filaments,
0:35:10 > 0:35:14and then release a spring and so on. I mean, incredible.
0:35:14 > 0:35:19And this has its dangers because as they're doing it, bits of artery,
0:35:19 > 0:35:20I'm afraid to say,
0:35:20 > 0:35:23can chip off and float down and block your heart, give you a stroke.
0:35:23 > 0:35:25That's part of the 10%.
0:35:25 > 0:35:29Then you can get, you know, for a week you can get
0:35:29 > 0:35:34sort of a brain reaction of shock and spasm, which also...
0:35:34 > 0:35:39So I...you know, I won that lottery.
0:35:39 > 0:35:42And it made me think various things.
0:35:42 > 0:35:48One, I'd completely dropped any regrets about my life,
0:35:48 > 0:35:50you know.
0:35:50 > 0:35:52You know, ideas that, you know, I could've done that or
0:35:52 > 0:35:55I should've done that or I should have been a New York correspondent
0:35:55 > 0:35:59or I should... You know, forget about that.
0:35:59 > 0:36:02The idea was that you'd actually survived, you know,
0:36:02 > 0:36:05and, you know, he and I could play.
0:36:05 > 0:36:07Wonderful. So, it was a bit like the Samurai.
0:36:07 > 0:36:11You know, the Samurai warriors have this Zen thing which is that
0:36:11 > 0:36:17because imminently they might be cut down in combat,
0:36:17 > 0:36:20every breath is a sort of elixir, a sort of wonderful thing.
0:36:20 > 0:36:24And I completely understand that,
0:36:24 > 0:36:27and I do get that sort of feeling, you know.
0:36:27 > 0:36:31And I... Almost always when Jimmy says we should play, I say yes,
0:36:31 > 0:36:34except when I'm, you know, downtime.
0:36:34 > 0:36:37Yeah?
0:36:37 > 0:36:39And now you are writing a book.
0:36:39 > 0:36:41Yeah.
0:36:41 > 0:36:43Which is about a man who's having a brain aneurysm.
0:36:43 > 0:36:45I am, indeed. I know, we both...
0:36:45 > 0:36:49Both my gentleman, as I call him,
0:36:49 > 0:36:51and I have a piece of titanium in our heads.
0:36:54 > 0:36:56Keith Richards has got a piece of titanium, but bigger.
0:36:56 > 0:36:57He's got a sort of plate.
0:36:57 > 0:37:01- Oh, he's got a plate?- I think so. - And you have a little...?
0:37:01 > 0:37:06- I have a tiny, little titanium coil. - It's a coil, OK.
0:37:06 > 0:37:09But the titanium club is an exclusive club,
0:37:09 > 0:37:11which you belong to, as well, I think.
0:37:11 > 0:37:13I think I have changed since the operation.
0:37:13 > 0:37:18Definitely, there's no question about it. I mean, I am much more...
0:37:18 > 0:37:19I'm much more emotional...
0:37:21 > 0:37:25..now. And I think because I'm more touched by...
0:37:25 > 0:37:28by pain in others, definitely.
0:37:28 > 0:37:32I am more succinct with it, I am more connected with it.
0:37:37 > 0:37:38This is Monty.
0:37:38 > 0:37:41He had an AVM when he was eight years old.
0:37:41 > 0:37:43And here he is with his dog, Jack.
0:37:47 > 0:37:50I was just playing sport, I was running around,
0:37:50 > 0:37:53and then I got a headache, so I sat down.
0:37:53 > 0:37:56And then I asked if I could go to the nurse.
0:37:56 > 0:38:00And I just went to the nurse and suddenly I just puked and fainted.
0:38:01 > 0:38:04- So, it was really quick, it happened very quickly?- Yeah.
0:38:04 > 0:38:08And then I just remember one little scene of me having a mask on
0:38:08 > 0:38:13and the doctors, like, bringing air in.
0:38:13 > 0:38:15- Trying to revive you?- Yeah.
0:38:15 > 0:38:17We had to wait for scans and...
0:38:17 > 0:38:20- So you had no idea what was going on?- No.
0:38:20 > 0:38:23They did an MRI trying to see what was the next step.
0:38:23 > 0:38:26They knew that there was a bleed, a big one,
0:38:26 > 0:38:29but that was all we knew. We didn't know why or how.
0:38:29 > 0:38:32It wasn't initially apparent what had caused this bleed,
0:38:32 > 0:38:34so we took him to the angiography suite, did in angiogram
0:38:34 > 0:38:38that demonstrated an AVM, an arteriovenous malformation,
0:38:38 > 0:38:42which is an abnormal connection between the arteries and veins
0:38:42 > 0:38:44on the surface of the brain.
0:38:44 > 0:38:49The way I embolise an AVM is to go in the artery in the groin,
0:38:49 > 0:38:54put a catheter up into the main arteries to the brain in the neck,
0:38:54 > 0:38:57and then through that, put a second micro catheter
0:38:57 > 0:39:01about half a millimetre in diameter into one of the arteries
0:39:01 > 0:39:02going into the AVM itself
0:39:02 > 0:39:07and then inject some kind of liquid that mixes with the blood
0:39:07 > 0:39:11and sits to form a plug filling the abnormal vessels
0:39:11 > 0:39:13of the AVM and stopping blood flow in the AVM.
0:39:15 > 0:39:17There are two main things I use - glue,
0:39:17 > 0:39:21where I inject a mix of the blood and it sets and forms a cast
0:39:21 > 0:39:26or onyx, which is a kind of rubbery material which I inject slowly,
0:39:26 > 0:39:30watching to see where it goes within the AVM.
0:39:30 > 0:39:34If I'm happy where it goes, I keep injecting it and it will gradually
0:39:34 > 0:39:38fill the nidus of the AVM, the network of vessels of the AVM.
0:39:38 > 0:39:43And if it starts to go toward one of the arteries that supplies
0:39:43 > 0:39:45the normal brain, I'll stop, wait,
0:39:45 > 0:39:48let it sit, and then start injecting again,
0:39:48 > 0:39:51hoping it goes back in the direction I want it to.
0:39:51 > 0:39:54What would you want the most right now?
0:39:54 > 0:39:55Um...
0:39:57 > 0:39:58To see my dog.
0:39:58 > 0:40:01What do you think it is about an animal that helps?
0:40:01 > 0:40:05Well, they are very loving and caring.
0:40:05 > 0:40:07Are you both inseparable?
0:40:07 > 0:40:09Yeah.
0:40:11 > 0:40:14- Do you miss him now?- Yes.
0:40:14 > 0:40:17- You want to go and play with him now? - Yeah.
0:40:43 > 0:40:46My brain haemorrhage was a glimpse into this other world,
0:40:46 > 0:40:50but now I am so much more aware of other forms of brain damage
0:40:50 > 0:40:52and how crushing the effects can be.
0:40:52 > 0:40:55And how invisible it is to others.
0:40:55 > 0:40:57Yes, that's true.
0:40:57 > 0:41:00Problems with memory and concentration
0:41:00 > 0:41:03or changes in personality are not immediately obvious.
0:41:03 > 0:41:06If they don't have conspicuous disabilities,
0:41:06 > 0:41:09the brain injured go unnoticed.
0:41:09 > 0:41:12And misunderstood.
0:41:17 > 0:41:21It is across the board, every aspect of the person's life,
0:41:21 > 0:41:27from their social, intellectual functional, vocational...
0:41:27 > 0:41:30Every aspect of their life is affected.
0:41:32 > 0:41:34And it's invisible.
0:41:34 > 0:41:39Sherrie Baehr who has initiated this charity called the Silver Lining
0:41:39 > 0:41:42that belongs to them, to those brain injured,
0:41:42 > 0:41:44and they have to raise money for their own charity.
0:41:44 > 0:41:46And with that money, they go
0:41:46 > 0:41:50and help other people that are more disadvantaged than themselves.
0:41:50 > 0:41:53And it re-engages them in life, gives them a focus, a purpose,
0:41:53 > 0:41:54and they feel useful.
0:41:54 > 0:41:56I think one of the biggest problems I've had
0:41:56 > 0:41:59since the accident is it was never properly followed up.
0:41:59 > 0:42:02And I had the injury, I was in hospital for quite a while,
0:42:02 > 0:42:06and then they just let me go. And no-one saw me.
0:42:06 > 0:42:08Until I saw Sherrie last year,
0:42:08 > 0:42:11no-one spoke to me about the car accident.
0:42:11 > 0:42:14So, I spent grammar school thinking I was really quite stupid,
0:42:14 > 0:42:16with memory problems, etc.
0:42:16 > 0:42:18And I never knew it was because of my brain injury.
0:42:18 > 0:42:21People tend to get burned out after a while.
0:42:21 > 0:42:25Because the progress in brain injury is so slow.
0:42:25 > 0:42:27Why is that?
0:42:27 > 0:42:30Well, the brain heals itself very slowly.
0:42:30 > 0:42:35Is that why a lot of brain injured then sort of get into depressions?
0:42:35 > 0:42:39- Because they're not seeing a progression.- Absolutely.
0:42:39 > 0:42:45OK, when I was 21,
0:42:45 > 0:42:48I got hit by a car and I fell back.
0:42:48 > 0:42:52Fortunately for me, I broke a windscreen,
0:42:52 > 0:42:56cos I hit the left-hand side of my brain,
0:42:56 > 0:42:59so that affected my speech.
0:42:59 > 0:43:02Because I often think, if I hit the right side,
0:43:02 > 0:43:04my speech would be normal,
0:43:04 > 0:43:07but then maybe I would forget things
0:43:07 > 0:43:10or maybe... It would be so different.
0:43:10 > 0:43:13But no, it's... You know.
0:43:13 > 0:43:17So, that's why I sound drunk, and I'm not.
0:43:17 > 0:43:22Return to previous social relationships is not possible.
0:43:22 > 0:43:25Family relationships are often very changed.
0:43:25 > 0:43:29And what people naturally do is you don't really want to be
0:43:29 > 0:43:32around someone that you have problems with all the time.
0:43:32 > 0:43:35I was assaulted and somebody stabbed a snooker cue
0:43:35 > 0:43:38through my right eye socket,
0:43:38 > 0:43:42through my brain, to the back of my skull.
0:43:42 > 0:43:45It's quite an abstract thing to sort of come to terms with,
0:43:45 > 0:43:48a brain injury. It's slightly nebulous.
0:43:48 > 0:43:51Confidence is a major issue afterwards.
0:43:51 > 0:43:56And sort of, self-identity even.
0:43:57 > 0:44:01Ed has spent, and I hope I am not over exaggerating,
0:44:01 > 0:44:05but the last ten years hardly getting out of bed.
0:44:06 > 0:44:12Not engaging with the community or life at all.
0:44:12 > 0:44:15And Ed is quite an inspiration for the Silver Lining for me
0:44:15 > 0:44:18because when I saw Ed in Namibia,
0:44:18 > 0:44:21he was the first one up in the morning.
0:44:21 > 0:44:25Yeah, Namibia was just a wonderful opportunity to,
0:44:25 > 0:44:29instead of, I guess, being brain injured,
0:44:29 > 0:44:32feeling like a bit of a burden on the state,
0:44:32 > 0:44:36it was nice to be able to sort of help other people
0:44:36 > 0:44:38and give something back.
0:44:38 > 0:44:42And, uh...
0:44:42 > 0:44:46The children we met out there were just a massive inspiration,
0:44:46 > 0:44:51full of life and joy, despite very meagre circumstances.
0:44:51 > 0:44:55It can't be easy being an orphan in Africa.
0:44:55 > 0:44:59So, yeah, that was... That was a real privilege.
0:45:08 > 0:45:11Of course you give hope, you have to give hope constantly
0:45:11 > 0:45:13to the sufferer,
0:45:13 > 0:45:15to the injured person,
0:45:15 > 0:45:19who is in a kind of desert of his or her own,
0:45:19 > 0:45:22as they struggle to find a way out and to live.
0:45:22 > 0:45:24And then it occurred to me,
0:45:24 > 0:45:28a memory that I had of when I was working in Africa over many years.
0:45:28 > 0:45:32I'd been to the Namibian desert, where the desert elephant,
0:45:32 > 0:45:36who moves in a family group out of this barren land.
0:45:36 > 0:45:38And this mammal, this largest mammal on earth,
0:45:38 > 0:45:43has the ability to feel, to suffer, feel grief and pain.
0:45:43 > 0:45:47They show hate and they show love, like us humans do.
0:45:47 > 0:45:49But they also have the most incredible memory.
0:45:49 > 0:45:54And that memory serves to cross these vast,
0:45:54 > 0:45:56barren landscapes
0:45:56 > 0:46:00to return to an area they remember they'd found water,
0:46:00 > 0:46:02maybe 10 years ago.
0:46:02 > 0:46:07And it allows them, this memory allows them to live.
0:46:09 > 0:46:14I remember my husband telling me things after my operation
0:46:14 > 0:46:17and I wouldn't understand what he was saying.
0:46:17 > 0:46:22The words were familiar, but their meanings would evaporate.
0:46:22 > 0:46:26And I couldn't make the connection between the thoughts
0:46:26 > 0:46:29and the words, and then I couldn't retain what he was saying.
0:46:29 > 0:46:31So, it was a real, real battle with the memory,
0:46:31 > 0:46:36and I was feeling awful,
0:46:36 > 0:46:38as if I'd become stupid.
0:46:38 > 0:46:44How does the meat of the brain give rise to the mind that we experience?
0:46:44 > 0:46:48How does memory, perception, language, problem solving skills,
0:46:48 > 0:46:49control of action,
0:46:49 > 0:46:52how does it all come together to produce this unified sense
0:46:52 > 0:46:54of self that we all experience?
0:46:54 > 0:46:57GUITAR MUSIC
0:47:06 > 0:47:09I had a great deal of anger in me,
0:47:09 > 0:47:11for what I referred to at the time
0:47:11 > 0:47:16as misdiagnosis. To have been diagnosed
0:47:16 > 0:47:19as a manic depressive
0:47:19 > 0:47:23when I was suffering from birth AVM, arteriovenous malformation,
0:47:23 > 0:47:27was very injurious at the time.
0:47:27 > 0:47:29I thought it was injurious.
0:47:29 > 0:47:32There's a whole legend that has been built up around Pat.
0:47:32 > 0:47:35We have this great guitar virtuoso,
0:47:35 > 0:47:39a prodigy who leaves home in Philadelphia as a 15-year-old kid
0:47:39 > 0:47:42and goes to live in Harlem and plays with the jazz greats.
0:47:42 > 0:47:45That in itself is a pretty remarkable story.
0:47:45 > 0:47:48He then begins to have psychological problems.
0:47:48 > 0:47:50He then develops seizures.
0:47:50 > 0:47:53And in 1980, at the age of 36,
0:47:53 > 0:47:56he has a life-threatening brain haemorrhage,
0:47:56 > 0:47:59which requires pretty drastic surgery.
0:47:59 > 0:48:02And that's where the legend really starts,
0:48:02 > 0:48:06because then he completely loses the ability to play the guitar.
0:48:06 > 0:48:09Not knowing who I was, not knowing how to play,
0:48:09 > 0:48:14being told that I should play my instrument again,
0:48:14 > 0:48:17being told that I should do this and I should do that,
0:48:17 > 0:48:20and this person is who you are,
0:48:20 > 0:48:25all of those things I was told were very painful because I feared not
0:48:25 > 0:48:30being able to live up to the overall description that others gave to me
0:48:30 > 0:48:32of that person.
0:48:32 > 0:48:37It took me 17 years to play the instrument again.
0:48:37 > 0:48:38He certainly lost the motivation to play.
0:48:38 > 0:48:43I think he was, for a while, a lost soul.
0:48:43 > 0:48:45He'd lost his sense of identity.
0:48:45 > 0:48:48He didn't recognise his parents, he didn't really know who he was.
0:48:48 > 0:48:51It takes a long time for him to even pick up a guitar again,
0:48:51 > 0:48:54despite the encouragement to get him back to his old self.
0:48:54 > 0:48:58And eventually, he relearns the guitar from tuition videos
0:48:58 > 0:49:01from a great teacher, his former self.
0:49:04 > 0:49:06In a sense, the legend is intact.
0:49:06 > 0:49:09It is a remarkable story that he did have this period of loss
0:49:09 > 0:49:10of identity.
0:49:10 > 0:49:14So the idea that he completely lost the ability to play
0:49:14 > 0:49:18was never...was never probably true.
0:49:18 > 0:49:21What he wouldn't have lost is the sort of the dexterity,
0:49:21 > 0:49:23the movement of the fingers over the fretboard,
0:49:23 > 0:49:27because those parts of the brain were not affected.
0:49:27 > 0:49:31When you remember your life story, that is known as episodic memory.
0:49:31 > 0:49:34When you remember skills, like knowing how to ride a bike
0:49:34 > 0:49:37or play the guitar, that is known as procedural memory.
0:49:37 > 0:49:41Memory is obviously a huge topic,
0:49:41 > 0:49:44and it is a major commitment of real estate by the brain
0:49:44 > 0:49:47to manage all your lifelong memories
0:49:47 > 0:49:51and have a really efficient filing system so that you can access
0:49:51 > 0:49:53that memory rapidly.
0:49:53 > 0:49:55It's amazing to see Google do that.
0:49:55 > 0:50:00So, you type in some obscure thing and you instantly get this answer.
0:50:00 > 0:50:04Well, the brain does that a million or a trillion times
0:50:04 > 0:50:06more effectively, and we don't know how.
0:50:06 > 0:50:08Someone who is injured and loses their ability to form
0:50:08 > 0:50:11new memories, they don't have short-term memory,
0:50:11 > 0:50:14they can remember what happened before the injury
0:50:14 > 0:50:17because the machinery that put those memories in place
0:50:17 > 0:50:19was functioning then.
0:50:19 > 0:50:22That machinery is somehow damaged by the injury.
0:50:22 > 0:50:25They can't put new data into the filing system.
0:50:46 > 0:50:51There are things that the human brain does that is incredible,
0:50:51 > 0:50:53that is very difficult to measure.
0:50:53 > 0:50:56How does one measure creativity?
0:50:56 > 0:51:00Our ability to see, our ability to speak, our ability to think,
0:51:00 > 0:51:02our ability to create,
0:51:02 > 0:51:07our ability to ask the questions that we don't understand.
0:51:07 > 0:51:11It's hard to assign that to a particular region of the brain,
0:51:11 > 0:51:17so my view has always been it's that something extra,
0:51:17 > 0:51:22that something special that those vast areas of the frontal lobes
0:51:22 > 0:51:24and temporal lobes are actually performing.
0:51:24 > 0:51:27When Herbie Hancock, you know,
0:51:27 > 0:51:30composes a great piece of music, or Quincy Jones.
0:51:30 > 0:51:35Yeah, I mean, one can remove large areas of one's brain,
0:51:35 > 0:51:38but can you still get that type of creativity
0:51:38 > 0:51:40without those areas? I doubt it.
0:51:47 > 0:51:51Can you describe what happened to you in 1974?
0:51:51 > 0:51:56Well, something that I'm sure both of us hope never happens again.
0:51:56 > 0:52:02I guess I was 41 years old and all of a sudden I blank out,
0:52:02 > 0:52:05double vision.
0:52:05 > 0:52:09When I come to, I feel like somebody had shot my head off with a shotgun.
0:52:09 > 0:52:12And you had it at what moment?
0:52:12 > 0:52:17Well, I was being intimate with my wife, you know,
0:52:17 > 0:52:20and I had been up for two or three days writing music.
0:52:20 > 0:52:23And we were lying there that afternoon
0:52:23 > 0:52:28and one thing led to another, and, bam, I was out, you know.
0:52:28 > 0:52:31For seven days, they couldn't figure out what it was.
0:52:31 > 0:52:35Thank God my doctor was a genius. She was a very special lady.
0:52:35 > 0:52:39She is one of the ladies who worked on Einstein when he was dying.
0:52:39 > 0:52:42She said, "I think I know what it is, but before we do it,
0:52:42 > 0:52:46"we have to cut the throat and put in two pipes at 32 degrees
0:52:46 > 0:52:52"to cool the brain down because it is inflamed and if we open the top,
0:52:52 > 0:52:53"it'll jump out the top."
0:52:53 > 0:52:55All this talk, I don't need this, you know!
0:52:55 > 0:52:57I don't need to hear all this stuff.
0:52:57 > 0:53:01They told me the odds were 100-to-1 to live,
0:53:01 > 0:53:03- that makes you feel real good. - Yeah.
0:53:03 > 0:53:06And they came back in after the operation and said,
0:53:06 > 0:53:08"The good news is you'll live, the bad news is you got another one
0:53:08 > 0:53:12"on the other side and we have to go back in two months."
0:53:12 > 0:53:13So...
0:53:13 > 0:53:16A lot of the things I'm glad I missed in the first operation...
0:53:16 > 0:53:20For instance, before I go in, I'm looking and I see a bag down there
0:53:20 > 0:53:23in my stretcher and I say, "What's that?"
0:53:23 > 0:53:25They said, "That's your hair. If you don't make it,
0:53:25 > 0:53:27"we put it back on so you look good in your coffin."
0:53:27 > 0:53:31THEY LAUGH
0:53:31 > 0:53:35For the second operation, my whole left side was paralysed.
0:53:35 > 0:53:38Did you find that the experience, the near-death experience,
0:53:38 > 0:53:41and going through all of that really painful journey
0:53:41 > 0:53:43made you discover something new in your music?
0:53:43 > 0:53:46The essence, I think, stays the same.
0:53:46 > 0:53:51It's just your passion probably steps up
0:53:51 > 0:53:53six or 17 marks, you know,
0:53:53 > 0:53:57your passion for being able to write music, to express yourself, because,
0:53:57 > 0:54:01you know, everything in life, the value just goes straight up.
0:54:01 > 0:54:04You know, just everything, your relationship with your family,
0:54:04 > 0:54:07your friends, everything becomes more important.
0:54:07 > 0:54:09You are more careful about everything,
0:54:09 > 0:54:11you just care a lot more.
0:54:11 > 0:54:14What did the doctor say to you when you had your operation,
0:54:14 > 0:54:17that you were not allowed to do in music anymore?
0:54:17 > 0:54:19The first thing was I could never play my horn anymore.
0:54:19 > 0:54:25Only with just the physical idea of blowing with that kind of force,
0:54:25 > 0:54:30it could blow the metal cap off of the brain and you would die.
0:54:30 > 0:54:35That's not... It doesn't take too long to think about that.
0:54:37 > 0:54:39I can't play in front of you, ma'am.
0:54:57 > 0:55:01- So we are brothers and sisters in this.- Yeah, exactly.
0:55:01 > 0:55:04- I am also very blessed. - Yeah.- Very blessed.
0:55:07 > 0:55:10I don't believe in God, in fact I'm the other extreme,
0:55:10 > 0:55:13I'm an atheist, not because I don't believe...
0:55:13 > 0:55:16not because the brain-mind continuum aspect,
0:55:16 > 0:55:20it's just that I have seen so many bad things happen to people.
0:55:20 > 0:55:23Be afflicted with so many bad things,
0:55:23 > 0:55:26or left in such a damaged state or such human tragedies
0:55:26 > 0:55:32that I cannot conceive that a god would want that.
0:55:32 > 0:55:37- I agree with you.- That's the reason why I'm an atheist.
0:55:43 > 0:55:46COUNTRY MUSIC
0:55:50 > 0:55:52There has to be joy and laughter,
0:55:52 > 0:55:54which is what we experience at the Royal Hospital
0:55:54 > 0:56:00of Neurodisability, watching some of them dance to music.
0:56:00 > 0:56:03It's...it's touching to see them really have pleasure.
0:56:06 > 0:56:08You find there's joy.
0:56:08 > 0:56:10There's despair, too,
0:56:10 > 0:56:12and hopelessness, let's not forget.
0:56:12 > 0:56:18For some people, disability is just overwhelming.
0:56:18 > 0:56:20And that's the saddest thing.
0:56:20 > 0:56:23We should never despair.
0:56:30 > 0:56:33Jane, can you tell us about Jeffrey?
0:56:33 > 0:56:35Yeah, he was previously an inspector of taxes,
0:56:35 > 0:56:40so he is quite high educational level, really.
0:56:40 > 0:56:44And the results of his brainstem stroke are that he is paralysed,
0:56:44 > 0:56:45or partially paralysed,
0:56:45 > 0:56:48but he is still cognitively completely intact,
0:56:48 > 0:56:51so he understands everything you say to him, ask of him.
0:56:51 > 0:56:54Sometimes he finds it difficult to respond to things
0:56:54 > 0:56:56because of his communication difficulties.
0:56:56 > 0:56:59He's only got his eyes that he can actually communicate with.
0:56:59 > 0:57:02This is like a therapeutic exercise, OK?
0:57:02 > 0:57:05So don't worry too much about the game content.
0:57:07 > 0:57:10Lift that hand up. Up, up, up, up, up.
0:57:10 > 0:57:12Yes. Keep going.
0:57:12 > 0:57:14Yep. Brilliant!
0:57:16 > 0:57:19OK, Jeffrey, are you OK?
0:57:19 > 0:57:22You OK to carry on? Can you give me an eyes up for yes?
0:57:23 > 0:57:27'To be or not to be...
0:57:29 > 0:57:32'..that is the question.
0:57:32 > 0:57:36'Whether it is nobler in the mind
0:57:36 > 0:57:39'to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune...
0:57:41 > 0:57:45'..or to take arms against a sea of troubles.
0:57:46 > 0:57:52'And by opposing, end them.'
0:57:53 > 0:57:58My very first clinical placement was at a neuro rehab hospital.
0:57:58 > 0:58:01And one of the very first patients I came across was a boy
0:58:01 > 0:58:05who had walked into an empty lift shaft
0:58:05 > 0:58:08and had sort of fallen, I think it was three floors,
0:58:08 > 0:58:11and very nearly died.
0:58:11 > 0:58:14This was my first encounter with that kind of really severe disability.
0:58:14 > 0:58:16I was absolutely shaken by it.
0:58:16 > 0:58:19And I felt, you know, why? Why let him...?
0:58:19 > 0:58:22Why should he live? It's not fair to him or his parents.
0:58:22 > 0:58:28And he looked absolutely destroyed and distressed.
0:58:28 > 0:58:31He was in a hell.
0:58:31 > 0:58:33And then I was around one day when his mother came in
0:58:33 > 0:58:39and she sat with him and cradled his head in her arms
0:58:39 > 0:58:41and he was a different, you know...
0:58:41 > 0:58:45The whole was greater than the sum of the parts.
0:58:45 > 0:58:46He was different.
0:58:46 > 0:58:50There was something there that came through as a consequence
0:58:50 > 0:58:54of his mother actually being there with him, holding him.
0:58:54 > 0:58:58- Jeffrey understands everything I'm saying. Don't you?- Yes.- Yeah.
0:58:58 > 0:59:01The additional problem that Jeffrey has is that he hasn't got
0:59:01 > 0:59:04complete control of his ocular muscles,
0:59:04 > 0:59:07so sometimes when he tries to move his eyes in one direction
0:59:07 > 0:59:10they don't respond to what you want them to do, do they either?
0:59:10 > 0:59:12Which is difficult.
0:59:12 > 0:59:14Obviously, to be able to move his hand,
0:59:14 > 0:59:17it might seem like a very, very small step to other people,
0:59:17 > 0:59:20but it's a huge step for him, because when he arrived here,
0:59:20 > 0:59:23he was completely paralysed and could only move his eyes.
0:59:23 > 0:59:25'He's starting to see now improvement in himself
0:59:25 > 0:59:28'and he's starting to think that he can achieve things.'
0:59:28 > 0:59:30OK. Don't wear yourself out.
0:59:30 > 0:59:33You do too much.
0:59:33 > 0:59:35'That is the question.
0:59:36 > 0:59:41'To die, to sleep. No more.
0:59:41 > 0:59:45'And by a sleep, to say we end the heartache
0:59:45 > 0:59:50'and the thousand natural shocks that flesh is heir to.'
0:59:50 > 0:59:53'Tis a consummation devoutly to be wished.
0:59:53 > 0:59:57'To die, to sleep...
0:59:58 > 0:59:59'..to sleep...'
1:00:01 > 1:00:05When you see sufferers, however severely disabled they are...
1:00:07 > 1:00:11..experience joy for a couple of seconds,
1:00:11 > 1:00:14you realise that it's worth helping them.
1:00:14 > 1:00:19And when you see these extraordinary, you know,
1:00:19 > 1:00:21therapists like at the Royal Hospital of Neurodisability,
1:00:21 > 1:00:22who are there,
1:00:22 > 1:00:28dedicated to the brain injured, it's definitely worth having a life.
1:00:28 > 1:00:31About two years ago,
1:00:31 > 1:00:33Marc was having some headaches,
1:00:33 > 1:00:35not feeling very well,
1:00:35 > 1:00:39and it was diagnosed
1:00:39 > 1:00:41that he had a tumour.
1:00:41 > 1:00:45He went into hospital to have the tumour removed
1:00:45 > 1:00:48and that all went absolutely fine.
1:00:48 > 1:00:51But unfortunately, while Marc was in hospital,
1:00:51 > 1:00:55he got meningitis,
1:00:55 > 1:01:00which was actually what the cause was of Marc's difficulties.
1:01:00 > 1:01:02Which one did you enjoy most?
1:01:05 > 1:01:09I'm going to get you to type out which one you enjoyed most.
1:01:09 > 1:01:13'D...
1:01:13 > 1:01:16'O...
1:01:16 > 1:01:18'C...
1:01:18 > 1:01:20'K...
1:01:20 > 1:01:22'Space.... Dock....
1:01:22 > 1:01:24'Of...
1:01:24 > 1:01:26'The...
1:01:27 > 1:01:32'B-A...
1:01:32 > 1:01:34'Y...
1:01:34 > 1:01:37'Dock of the Bay.'
1:01:37 > 1:01:40PIANO MUSIC
1:01:43 > 1:01:47# Sittin' in the morning sun
1:01:47 > 1:01:53# I'll be sittin' when the evenin' come
1:01:53 > 1:01:57# Watchin' the ships roll in
1:01:57 > 1:02:03# And then I watch 'em roll away again, yeah
1:02:03 > 1:02:06# Sittin' on the dock of the bay
1:02:06 > 1:02:13# Watchin' the tide roll away
1:02:13 > 1:02:16# Sittin' on the dock of the bay
1:02:16 > 1:02:19# Wastin' time
1:02:22 > 1:02:27# Sittin' on the dock of the bay
1:02:27 > 1:02:30# Wastin' time. #
1:02:38 > 1:02:42APPLAUSE
1:02:43 > 1:02:45Did you enjoy that one?
1:02:50 > 1:02:52'Fantastic.'
1:02:55 > 1:02:58# I'm sittin' on the dock of the bay
1:02:58 > 1:03:04# Wastin' time
1:03:04 > 1:03:09# Look like nothing's going to change
1:03:09 > 1:03:14# Everything still remains the same. #
1:03:14 > 1:03:17Everybody has had their personal journey, but they've been through
1:03:17 > 1:03:22this place where the brain has been very affected and has had to try
1:03:22 > 1:03:26and come back and there is an openness to try and help those
1:03:26 > 1:03:28who need help.
1:03:28 > 1:03:30And who are isolated, as well.
1:03:35 > 1:03:38When I left the hospital, everything was in slow motion.
1:03:38 > 1:03:43And I spent four months trying to kind of get back into life.
1:03:43 > 1:03:47And I remember there was a school a couple of blocks away
1:03:47 > 1:03:49and there were kids playing basketball
1:03:49 > 1:03:53by the school and I just remember...
1:03:55 > 1:03:57..I remember watching them...
1:04:00 > 1:04:01..and thinking...
1:04:03 > 1:04:05.."Never take your life for granted again."
1:04:08 > 1:04:10Because they were running...
1:04:13 > 1:04:15..and it was so healthy.
1:04:16 > 1:04:20And I thought, "Never take your life for granted again."
1:04:43 > 1:04:50And that memory serves to cross these vast, barren landscapes,
1:04:50 > 1:04:53to return to an area that they remember they had found water,
1:04:53 > 1:04:56maybe ten years ago.
1:04:56 > 1:04:59This memory allows them to live.
1:05:37 > 1:05:41It wasn't quite what you expected, Maryam,
1:05:41 > 1:05:44you pictured scenes of personal tragedy and hopelessness,
1:05:44 > 1:05:47the anguish and sorrow of profound disability.
1:05:47 > 1:05:50Well, that can't be denied.
1:05:50 > 1:05:53But normality has a habit of seeping through,
1:05:53 > 1:05:57and more than that, vitality, a sharpened sense of the value
1:05:57 > 1:05:58of ordinary things,
1:05:58 > 1:06:02of the sheer privilege of being alive.
1:06:02 > 1:06:07Who knows if we'll ever fathom the mysteries of the brain,
1:06:07 > 1:06:10the thing is to appreciate the fragile wonder of it all.
1:06:10 > 1:06:16Down to the last breath, down to the dying embers of consciousness.
1:06:16 > 1:06:18Life is good.
1:06:18 > 1:06:19We forget that.
1:06:40 > 1:06:44I could hold my brain in my two hands.
1:06:44 > 1:06:46It is the size of...
1:06:46 > 1:06:49It's like a handful. It's like a handful of porridge.
1:06:50 > 1:06:53And that brain is
1:06:53 > 1:06:57my gestures, my personality,
1:06:57 > 1:07:01my beliefs, my movements, everything.
1:07:01 > 1:07:04My entire life is in that handful of porridge.
1:07:04 > 1:07:08Of course there are ups and downs, you know.
1:07:08 > 1:07:12I can't say I was always cheerful every time,
1:07:12 > 1:07:15but, um, I mean,
1:07:15 > 1:07:17that's where my parents come in.
1:07:17 > 1:07:21They've always been a strong supporter, my number one fan.
1:07:23 > 1:07:27A lot of people would be like, "Are you out of your mind, a gift?
1:07:27 > 1:07:32"You nearly died!" But I didn't.
1:07:33 > 1:07:37You have to really understand
1:07:37 > 1:07:39and become a master
1:07:39 > 1:07:44at how to live with joy and enjoy joy.
1:07:45 > 1:07:48Living for the day thing, much more I have that.
1:07:48 > 1:07:53I'm much calmer about that kind of thing and I'm appreciative.
1:07:53 > 1:07:56I do get great flashes at the pleasure
1:07:56 > 1:07:58of kind of being alive, seeing things, seeing the river,
1:07:58 > 1:08:01seeing the spring, seeing all that stuff.
1:08:01 > 1:08:06I get a great sense of relief and intensity about that, you know.
1:08:06 > 1:08:09The greatest thing for me at this point in my life
1:08:09 > 1:08:14is when a little sparrow lands on the windowsill
1:08:14 > 1:08:18or I can see it and I can hear it sing.
1:08:18 > 1:08:23I fall... Anything that helps me to get back to love.
1:08:29 > 1:08:32Subneuroid acro...
1:08:33 > 1:08:35What did you have?
1:08:35 > 1:08:37A sub... I don't know how to pronounce it.
1:08:37 > 1:08:39That's my thing, my brain is...
1:08:39 > 1:08:41I don't know how to pronounce anything now!
1:08:41 > 1:08:44Subarachnoid...
1:08:46 > 1:08:48- What is the second part? - Aneurysm.- Oh, aneurysm.
1:08:48 > 1:08:53Subarachnoid aneurysm. Subarachnoid aneurysm.
1:08:54 > 1:08:58Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd