0:00:02 > 0:00:04Hello and welcome to The Reassembler with me, James May.
0:00:04 > 0:00:07It's a new series in which we take everyday familiar objects
0:00:07 > 0:00:12in their component form and put them back together...very slowly.
0:00:14 > 0:00:15Sort of familiar bit.
0:00:15 > 0:00:19'It is only when these objects are laid out in hundreds of bits
0:00:19 > 0:00:22'and then slowly reassembled...'
0:00:22 > 0:00:23Done, done, done, done, done.
0:00:23 > 0:00:27'..that you can truly understand and appreciate how they work...'
0:00:27 > 0:00:28Ye-ah.
0:00:28 > 0:00:31'..and just how ingenious they are.'
0:00:31 > 0:00:32Deep joy.
0:00:32 > 0:00:35'And if painstakingly putting hundreds of pieces
0:00:35 > 0:00:36'back together again...'
0:00:36 > 0:00:38Oh, God, it's electrics.
0:00:38 > 0:00:39'..wasn't hard enough...'
0:00:39 > 0:00:41Fantastic, we've used all the bits.
0:00:41 > 0:00:43'..I then have to find out...'
0:00:43 > 0:00:44Oh, yes!
0:00:44 > 0:00:47'..if they'll work.'
0:00:47 > 0:00:48No, it's all come apart.
0:00:51 > 0:00:54PHONE RINGS
0:00:54 > 0:00:58Since Alexander Graham Bell's 1876 patent,
0:00:58 > 0:01:01the telephone has come on a bit.
0:01:01 > 0:01:06It's now so sophisticated, it can be used to write to people.
0:01:06 > 0:01:08But it wasn't always thus.
0:01:08 > 0:01:12Back in 1957, this was as smart as a telephone could be,
0:01:12 > 0:01:15and it could do just two things, you could dial a number with it,
0:01:15 > 0:01:17or if somebody dialled you, it would ring.
0:01:17 > 0:01:21Nevertheless, this was a high watermark in the development
0:01:21 > 0:01:26of the telephone, because it was the first GPO British Bakelite
0:01:26 > 0:01:30domestic telephone with a bell enclosed in the case.
0:01:32 > 0:01:37This phone has 211 separate, tiny parts,
0:01:37 > 0:01:40every single one designed with an engineering eye for detail
0:01:40 > 0:01:42that is staggering.
0:01:42 > 0:01:44We've sent people to the moon in equipment
0:01:44 > 0:01:46that has been less well-engineered.
0:01:46 > 0:01:48Actually, that's a bit of an exaggeration,
0:01:48 > 0:01:52but this is nanotechnology 1950s style.
0:01:52 > 0:01:55However, in this form, it resembles
0:01:55 > 0:01:58the most mind-bending Meccano set on the planet.
0:01:58 > 0:02:01First, we shall assemble the receiver.
0:02:01 > 0:02:03The bits are going to go in this plastic pot,
0:02:03 > 0:02:06because they're all very small and very easily lost.
0:02:08 > 0:02:10Come and just have a quick look at these.
0:02:10 > 0:02:13These are tiny, tiny bits that I'm going to have to put together.
0:02:14 > 0:02:17Look at the size of that bit.
0:02:18 > 0:02:20See?
0:02:25 > 0:02:30Now, I've got to be honest, I'm slightly out of my comfort zone,
0:02:30 > 0:02:32because I've never done something like a telephone before
0:02:32 > 0:02:34and I don't have an exploded diagram.
0:02:34 > 0:02:37All I have is a circuit diagram.
0:02:38 > 0:02:40That's it.
0:02:40 > 0:02:44The rest of it is all down to instinct...
0:02:45 > 0:02:48..luck. Who knows?
0:02:48 > 0:02:51See that? That's the speaky-into bit,
0:02:51 > 0:02:54so that must go on that end.
0:02:54 > 0:02:56Obviously, once you've put the innards in.
0:02:56 > 0:02:58'The receiver is also a transmitter.
0:02:58 > 0:03:02'It uses electromagnetism to convert sound waves into a signal
0:03:02 > 0:03:05'that can be transmitted to the person we're talking to
0:03:05 > 0:03:07'and vice versa.'
0:03:07 > 0:03:11I want to show you an amazing tool I've been lent, look at this.
0:03:11 > 0:03:15It's a screwdriver with a sleeve on it. And when you slide
0:03:15 > 0:03:18the sleeve along, the end of the screwdriver
0:03:18 > 0:03:20becomes slightly smaller. But it's not quite that simple,
0:03:20 > 0:03:23because if you look lengthways down it,
0:03:23 > 0:03:27there are two separate overlapping blades. And what this means is...
0:03:27 > 0:03:30The trouble with trying to do it with little screws is
0:03:30 > 0:03:31they fall off the end of the screwdriver
0:03:31 > 0:03:33and your fingers are too big to hold onto them.
0:03:33 > 0:03:35So that would just drop off.
0:03:35 > 0:03:38But if you put it on there and slide that along, the two blades
0:03:38 > 0:03:40slide together, become very, very slightly thicker
0:03:40 > 0:03:42and then hold the screw on.
0:03:42 > 0:03:45Look at that, that is the most brilliant screwdriver
0:03:45 > 0:03:47I've ever seen in my life.
0:03:47 > 0:03:50I'll come up with a way of nicking it later.
0:03:57 > 0:04:01So, having tightened that, if I retract the sleeve,
0:04:01 > 0:04:04the screwdriver comes out. That is absolutely fabulous.
0:04:04 > 0:04:06Now for some wires.
0:04:09 > 0:04:12Now, I've worked out from the wiring diagram -
0:04:12 > 0:04:15red, green and white are the three colours going to what would
0:04:15 > 0:04:18appear to be the receiver. Red, green and white are what I have
0:04:18 > 0:04:22on ye olde...um...
0:04:22 > 0:04:25What do you call this bit on a telephone?
0:04:25 > 0:04:27The...? What do you call this bit? The cord.
0:04:27 > 0:04:29The cord, yes, thank you.
0:04:29 > 0:04:32Now, that must go through that.
0:04:35 > 0:04:40Special magic screwdriver into there.
0:04:42 > 0:04:47Right, the diaphragm piece slides gently sideways.
0:04:48 > 0:04:53The diaphragm is a very simplified version of the cone
0:04:53 > 0:04:55in the speaker of your home hi-fi.
0:04:55 > 0:04:58It simply vibrates and moves a greater volume of air,
0:04:58 > 0:05:00so it makes more sound,
0:05:00 > 0:05:03sound being just the air moving backwards and forwards.
0:05:03 > 0:05:05That should screw on there.
0:05:11 > 0:05:15Just before I put it in, this bit is the bit you speak into -
0:05:15 > 0:05:16the microphone, if you like.
0:05:16 > 0:05:18If you shake it, you can hear...
0:05:18 > 0:05:21I'll shake it right next to the microphone.
0:05:21 > 0:05:23Can you hear that little ch-ch-ch-ch-ch noise?
0:05:23 > 0:05:25Can you hear that, sounds department?
0:05:25 > 0:05:28That's...that is the sound of carbon granules inside there,
0:05:28 > 0:05:30it's a way of making your voice clearer,
0:05:30 > 0:05:34because your voice vibrates the diaphragm behind there.
0:05:34 > 0:05:38That compresses and rarefies the mass of carbon crystals.
0:05:38 > 0:05:39That changes their resistance,
0:05:39 > 0:05:43which then gives you a clearer, better-defined signal
0:05:43 > 0:05:45travelling down the wire to the person at the other end
0:05:45 > 0:05:48and it will go in his or her ear there.
0:05:49 > 0:05:52Now, that rests on a pin there, it's not hardwired in,
0:05:52 > 0:05:54it sits on a pin which makes contact.
0:05:54 > 0:05:56But that's so that you can easily take it out
0:05:56 > 0:05:58and replace it, because these would wear out,
0:05:58 > 0:06:01the carbon would become all clumped together,
0:06:01 > 0:06:05especially in houses in the 1950s, cos they'd have been horribly damp.
0:06:05 > 0:06:09Now, that's got to go to there so...
0:06:10 > 0:06:12Clonk, clonk.
0:06:14 > 0:06:16Hello, caller.
0:06:17 > 0:06:18There you go.
0:06:18 > 0:06:22We are 44 minutes into our attempt to reassemble
0:06:22 > 0:06:26our 1957 Bakelite telephone with an internal cased bell
0:06:26 > 0:06:28and we've a completed receiver.
0:06:28 > 0:06:31The intricacies of the receiver, however, are nothing
0:06:31 > 0:06:36compared with the next familiar part we have to rebuild - the dial.
0:06:36 > 0:06:41Now, returning to the fantastic sweet shop of telephone componentry
0:06:41 > 0:06:44with my special little pot, and I'm going to take the components
0:06:44 > 0:06:47for the dial plate.
0:06:47 > 0:06:53That...that...that brass backing piece
0:06:53 > 0:06:54and two tiny, tiny little screws.
0:06:54 > 0:06:57That's not a great deal of stuff, but I think it's going to be
0:06:57 > 0:07:00quite fiddly to put together, so let's not be over ambitious.
0:07:00 > 0:07:05The reason I wanted to make a bit of a thing about the dial plate,
0:07:05 > 0:07:09to be honest, is because those of us over a certain age.
0:07:09 > 0:07:12I hate having to admit to this, cos it does make me sound very old,
0:07:12 > 0:07:14but we do remember a time when most of us
0:07:14 > 0:07:18did spend our lives dialling by putting our fingers in holes,
0:07:18 > 0:07:22turning the dial and letting it go rrrr back to the beginning.
0:07:22 > 0:07:24On the off chance that there is anyone
0:07:24 > 0:07:26born after 1990 watching this show,
0:07:26 > 0:07:30here's some Americans to tell you how to use a dial telephone.
0:07:30 > 0:07:33Before calling any number, first secure the number
0:07:33 > 0:07:36from your new directory, then remove the receiver
0:07:36 > 0:07:38and listen for the dial tone. It sounds like this.
0:07:38 > 0:07:41BUZZ
0:07:41 > 0:07:45Dial each numeral in this manner, pulling the dial around
0:07:45 > 0:07:46to the finger stop each time.
0:07:46 > 0:07:49Be sure to allow the dial to freely return
0:07:49 > 0:07:52to its normal position. And this is the ringing signal.
0:07:52 > 0:07:54PHONE RINGS
0:07:56 > 0:07:59PHONE RINGS
0:07:59 > 0:08:01'Meanwhile, back in the 21st century...'
0:08:01 > 0:08:03I am starving, but once this is back together,
0:08:03 > 0:08:05I can ring up for a pizza.
0:08:06 > 0:08:09Well, they didn't have pizza in those days, did they?
0:08:09 > 0:08:11I'd have rung up for some boiled beef and carrots.
0:08:11 > 0:08:12Those are...
0:08:12 > 0:08:15- PRODUCER:- You're actually building a time machine.
0:08:15 > 0:08:17Well, you sort of are. You say that...
0:08:17 > 0:08:18If we get this thing working,
0:08:18 > 0:08:22I'll probably be able to speak to my departed ancestors on it.
0:08:24 > 0:08:28It's one of the things I always used to find very creepy about telephones
0:08:28 > 0:08:29when I was a child, because I thought
0:08:29 > 0:08:32everything that had ever been said in them was still in them.
0:08:32 > 0:08:35CREW SNIGGER
0:08:35 > 0:08:37So, I couldn't understand how all those people fitted
0:08:37 > 0:08:38in the television either.
0:08:38 > 0:08:41I was only about three.
0:08:41 > 0:08:43Let's all go and collect some more components,
0:08:43 > 0:08:45I think we'll do the other side of the dial
0:08:45 > 0:08:47which starts to get very tricky.
0:08:50 > 0:08:54Right, I'm going to continue my tireless work on the dial,
0:08:54 > 0:08:59which will involve this large plate onto which everything goes,
0:08:59 > 0:09:05one way or another, I think. Um, these lovely little brass bits.
0:09:05 > 0:09:08Everything is very beautifully made in this, it must be said.
0:09:10 > 0:09:14A spring, I think that should do,
0:09:14 > 0:09:17that should do us for several hours, I should think.
0:09:19 > 0:09:21The first challenge is to build the mechanism
0:09:21 > 0:09:23that controls the dial.
0:09:23 > 0:09:27That's a cheese-head screw, parallel-sided,
0:09:27 > 0:09:30it's got, like, a wheel, a cheese shape on the top.
0:09:30 > 0:09:34And that hole there is quite clearly made to accommodate that.
0:09:34 > 0:09:36So, that's...that's a bit of a clue to start with.
0:09:36 > 0:09:42And that diameter quite clearly passes through that one.
0:09:48 > 0:09:51Right, so the spring...
0:09:53 > 0:09:55I do like a good spring.
0:09:56 > 0:09:58It's a lovely spring.
0:09:59 > 0:10:03Lose concentration for a millionth of a second
0:10:03 > 0:10:05and the noise you'll hear will be - ping!
0:10:05 > 0:10:08That's all you'll hear and then there will be nothing there.
0:10:08 > 0:10:10This will be a quantum event - there will be a spring there
0:10:10 > 0:10:12and then there won't be a spring there.
0:10:12 > 0:10:15There will be no discernible spring making it's way from here
0:10:15 > 0:10:16to over there.
0:10:16 > 0:10:18It'll just be PING and it will...
0:10:18 > 0:10:19it won't be there any more.
0:10:19 > 0:10:22I've done it. That spring will go in there.
0:10:22 > 0:10:26It'll stay in there forever now, coiled in the darkness,
0:10:26 > 0:10:30waiting to respond to the eager fingers of young lovers
0:10:30 > 0:10:32and businessmen trying to close deal.
0:10:32 > 0:10:35I am just a spring, but I'm here to serve you
0:10:35 > 0:10:37by returning that dial to the beginning,
0:10:37 > 0:10:39so you can put another number in.
0:10:39 > 0:10:43So, if I hold that with my fingers and they line up...
0:10:45 > 0:10:48It's extremely nicely made to very close tolerances,
0:10:48 > 0:10:50but it would have to be, wouldn't it?
0:10:50 > 0:10:53I haven't got the nut on the other end, but you can already see
0:10:53 > 0:10:57that's...that's ready to return.
0:10:57 > 0:10:58It's exciting, isn't it?
0:10:58 > 0:11:00And now that. But I'm not sure how I know what position
0:11:00 > 0:11:03that should go in. Maybe it doesn't matter.
0:11:04 > 0:11:06Well, it can't matter, because otherwise...
0:11:06 > 0:11:08I can tell by the way this thing is made,
0:11:08 > 0:11:11if it did matter, they would've made sure I got it in the right position.
0:11:13 > 0:11:15That's what the Japanese would call poka-yoke,
0:11:15 > 0:11:18i.e. Fool-proofing - making sure something will only go together
0:11:18 > 0:11:19the right way.
0:11:23 > 0:11:25Thus...
0:11:25 > 0:11:27So, that is free to pivot.
0:11:27 > 0:11:30Watch the little rubber bit as I dial,
0:11:30 > 0:11:32then as that comes back...
0:11:34 > 0:11:36It's something to do with the pulsing,
0:11:36 > 0:11:38because it's got a slot for every number.
0:11:38 > 0:11:40Right, shall we get some more bits?
0:11:42 > 0:11:46We are one hour and 32 minutes into the reassembly,
0:11:46 > 0:11:49and as well as the receiver and the face of the dial itself,
0:11:49 > 0:11:52half the mechanism that controls it has been built,
0:11:52 > 0:11:55including the spring that ensures the dial snaps back into position
0:11:55 > 0:11:56when being used.
0:11:56 > 0:12:00But now it's time to delve into the dark mechanical secrets
0:12:00 > 0:12:04that lurk behind the innocent dial of the antique telephone.
0:12:04 > 0:12:08Now, this.... I know because I've seen something like this before.
0:12:08 > 0:12:12This is a... It's a governor. It's going to slow down the dial
0:12:12 > 0:12:15as it goes back, cos that will spin very, very quickly.
0:12:15 > 0:12:19Those two weights will be thrown out and will rub on the inside
0:12:19 > 0:12:20of that little cylinder
0:12:20 > 0:12:23and that will retard, I imagine,
0:12:23 > 0:12:26the return of the dial.
0:12:26 > 0:12:30We would take the governor and the governor...
0:12:30 > 0:12:32I don't know what you actually call that one,
0:12:32 > 0:12:34I'm going to call it the governor pot...
0:12:36 > 0:12:40..and offer that up to the bearing.
0:12:40 > 0:12:45Offer it up is one of those things you see in old instruction manuals
0:12:45 > 0:12:46and technical books.
0:12:46 > 0:12:50Offer it up means line it up with and get it roughly
0:12:50 > 0:12:52in the right position.
0:12:52 > 0:12:55Where's the camera gone? Oh, yeah.
0:12:55 > 0:12:57Get it roughly in the right position.
0:12:57 > 0:12:59But we're not talking about anything permanent yet.
0:12:59 > 0:13:01It's not... It's an offer, it is just an offer.
0:13:01 > 0:13:04It's not a contract. You offer it up and then you sign the contract
0:13:04 > 0:13:07with the screws or whatever holds it permanently in place.
0:13:07 > 0:13:10And so I will offer it up to the camera.
0:13:10 > 0:13:12Here's our little governor whizzing round and round.
0:13:12 > 0:13:16That will eventually be engaged...
0:13:16 > 0:13:20engaged with the... I don't really want to call them the teeth,
0:13:20 > 0:13:25they're more like pallets on the bottom of that fibre arrangement.
0:13:25 > 0:13:29Now, having offered that up, I'm going to offer up the little screws
0:13:29 > 0:13:31and washers that hold that plate in place.
0:13:46 > 0:13:49Smashing.
0:13:51 > 0:13:53It is rather beautiful, it must be said.
0:13:56 > 0:14:00There's a little clutch inside that fibre wheel arrangement.
0:14:00 > 0:14:02That's fantastic, isn't it?
0:14:12 > 0:14:14So, young people, observe.
0:14:14 > 0:14:17In the olden days, our telephone number at home was...
0:14:20 > 0:14:24Er...01709 37323.
0:14:24 > 0:14:26So, let's dial that.
0:14:26 > 0:14:320...1...7...
0:14:32 > 0:14:390...9...3...7...
0:14:39 > 0:14:433...2...3.
0:14:43 > 0:14:45That's one number. I mean, it's just agony.
0:14:45 > 0:14:48And often sometimes it would be a bit like filling up your car
0:14:48 > 0:14:50with petrol, you'd think, "I'll ring Cookie.
0:14:50 > 0:14:52"I wonder if he wants to come out to the pub
0:14:52 > 0:14:56"I'll ring... Oh, I can't be bothered." You'd give up.
0:14:56 > 0:14:58See, the numbers got gradually bigger over the years,
0:14:58 > 0:15:01because they had to add an extra number to the number
0:15:01 > 0:15:04for the house, then an extra number to the code
0:15:04 > 0:15:06and then another extra number to the code,
0:15:06 > 0:15:09because nobody ever anticipated how many telephones there would be,
0:15:09 > 0:15:11and they're still getting it wrong with mobile phones.
0:15:11 > 0:15:14But then again, when the telephone was a new invention,
0:15:14 > 0:15:17Graham Bell said it was such a good idea that eventually
0:15:17 > 0:15:19every town would have one.
0:15:21 > 0:15:23The mayor of London speaking.
0:15:23 > 0:15:25The mayor of London, Ontario, speaking
0:15:25 > 0:15:26to the lord mayor of London, England.
0:15:26 > 0:15:28This little conversation was arranged
0:15:28 > 0:15:30by the enterprising GPO to mark the installation
0:15:30 > 0:15:32of the millionth telephone
0:15:32 > 0:15:34of the London Telephone Service, London, England, that is.
0:15:34 > 0:15:39By the mid-1930s, a mere 60 years after the first telephone call,
0:15:39 > 0:15:41the telephone had taken over.
0:15:41 > 0:15:43We could call places thousands of miles away
0:15:43 > 0:15:46and our voices were carried through miles
0:15:46 > 0:15:48of telephone exchange systems switchboards
0:15:48 > 0:15:49throughout the world.
0:15:49 > 0:15:52Hello, London. Hello, London. Havana, we are ready.
0:15:52 > 0:15:55The sheer volume of calls was often overwhelming,
0:15:55 > 0:15:57but operators came up with some ingenious ways
0:15:57 > 0:15:59of speeding things along.
0:16:00 > 0:16:03Hello, Buenos Aires. Hello, Buenos Aires.
0:16:03 > 0:16:05I'm not a believer that the olden days
0:16:05 > 0:16:08were better than the modern world - I think it's complete nonsense.
0:16:08 > 0:16:10There are only two things I've ever identified
0:16:10 > 0:16:12that genuinely were better in the past,
0:16:12 > 0:16:15and those are electric kettles,
0:16:15 > 0:16:18because they just break after 15 minutes these days,
0:16:18 > 0:16:19and American pick-up trucks,
0:16:19 > 0:16:22which were better looking in the '70s.
0:16:22 > 0:16:26But something else I may have to admit,
0:16:26 > 0:16:30something that was consistently of extremely high quality
0:16:30 > 0:16:33was small fixings.
0:16:33 > 0:16:36These things are just...they're absolutely gorgeous.
0:16:36 > 0:16:39They're just...they're beautifully made.
0:16:41 > 0:16:43Two hours and 49 minutes in,
0:16:43 > 0:16:46and I have reassembled the receiver and the dial -
0:16:46 > 0:16:50that's the mouth, ears and heart of the phone.
0:16:50 > 0:16:52But now we're going to look at the brains of the machine -
0:16:52 > 0:16:53that is the chassis.
0:16:53 > 0:16:57This is where all the electrical shenanigans goes on
0:16:57 > 0:16:58and where the telephone is made
0:16:58 > 0:17:00to live, if you like,
0:17:00 > 0:17:03where its soul dwells.
0:17:03 > 0:17:05If Rene Descartes had anything to do with telephones,
0:17:05 > 0:17:09he would've said this was its...this was its whatsit gland.
0:17:09 > 0:17:11Right...
0:17:13 > 0:17:15Now, it is time for a little bit of a confession
0:17:15 > 0:17:18because all those bits that I've just collected,
0:17:18 > 0:17:20this is actually only half of the story.
0:17:20 > 0:17:22We have this going here,
0:17:22 > 0:17:24there's that to go inside some wires,
0:17:24 > 0:17:26this bit,
0:17:26 > 0:17:30this which goes up here and will eventually be screwed on
0:17:30 > 0:17:34and capacitors and little transformers and all the rest of it.
0:17:34 > 0:17:40But the honest truth is there is also a huge amount of wiring
0:17:40 > 0:17:42that's all bundled up under there,
0:17:42 > 0:17:43lots and lots of minute soldering.
0:17:43 > 0:17:46It's reckoned by the telephone experts that I've talked to
0:17:46 > 0:17:51that the process of putting this together could take up to two days.
0:17:51 > 0:17:54So, for the first and only time in this series -
0:17:54 > 0:17:56possibly even in my life -
0:17:56 > 0:17:57I am able to say...
0:17:57 > 0:18:01Here's one we prepared earlier.
0:18:03 > 0:18:04And I'd just like to point out...
0:18:04 > 0:18:07I mean, I...I mean I believe I could do this, of course,
0:18:07 > 0:18:10but no-one else is prepared to let me try.
0:18:10 > 0:18:13There's a huge amount... Look at that under there.
0:18:13 > 0:18:17This is what the world was like before we had microprocessors.
0:18:17 > 0:18:21Every single connection, every little on and off
0:18:21 > 0:18:24was a separate wire, a separate switch,
0:18:24 > 0:18:27an actual physical thing.
0:18:27 > 0:18:29That's what all that is.
0:18:29 > 0:18:30And this is just one telephone.
0:18:30 > 0:18:33And all this telephone does is dial numbers -
0:18:33 > 0:18:34that's all it does.
0:18:38 > 0:18:39Let's get some more bits.
0:18:41 > 0:18:42Some of you will be saying,
0:18:42 > 0:18:44"I wish they'd do the whole series like that,"
0:18:44 > 0:18:45I know, but tough luck.
0:18:48 > 0:18:52Now we shall attach the dial cord
0:18:52 > 0:18:53which is that bit,
0:18:53 > 0:18:57plus the dial cord fixing screws and so on.
0:18:57 > 0:18:59But never mind that -
0:18:59 > 0:19:03most excitingly, we can fit...the bells.
0:19:09 > 0:19:11Now, it's interesting that the two bells -
0:19:11 > 0:19:13I wonder if I can demonstrate this -
0:19:13 > 0:19:15are slightly different
0:19:15 > 0:19:17because that's what gives a British telephone...
0:19:17 > 0:19:20BELL DINGS
0:19:20 > 0:19:25..its characteristic rather warm and unaggressive ring.
0:19:25 > 0:19:31Also we have the...the rhythm, "Dring-dring, dring-dring"
0:19:31 > 0:19:33whereas the Americans - you'll know this from films -
0:19:33 > 0:19:35have "Drrrrring..."
0:19:37 > 0:19:40"..drrrrring."
0:19:40 > 0:19:43The British ring is better, obviously.
0:19:44 > 0:19:47BELLS RING
0:19:47 > 0:19:50It is weird. I haven't...
0:19:50 > 0:19:54I haven't heard those two tones for many, many years,
0:19:54 > 0:19:55but it does take me back.
0:19:57 > 0:19:59A bit like meeting a kid with mumps.
0:20:01 > 0:20:06THEY CHUCKLE
0:20:11 > 0:20:15'And while you reminisce about mid-20th century childhood ailments,
0:20:15 > 0:20:17'I have a dial cord to attach.'
0:20:20 > 0:20:22Beautiful, marvellous.
0:20:22 > 0:20:25What you're actually looking at there is a telephone -
0:20:25 > 0:20:27that is all the functioning stuff,
0:20:27 > 0:20:29it just doesn't look like a telephone yet
0:20:29 > 0:20:31because it's not in a telephone case.
0:20:31 > 0:20:33And let's not forget this was
0:20:33 > 0:20:37the first GPO British domestic provided Bakelite telephone
0:20:37 > 0:20:38with an internal bell
0:20:38 > 0:20:41so let's internalise the bell.
0:20:42 > 0:20:46Out of habit, I've brought my little sweet box thing along,
0:20:46 > 0:20:48but actually, all I'm looking for
0:20:48 > 0:20:50is the two little - I don't even know what they're called -
0:20:50 > 0:20:53the little plungy plip plip plip things, and the...
0:20:55 > 0:20:56There you go.
0:20:59 > 0:21:00This is from the '50s,
0:21:00 > 0:21:03and, I don't know, declarations of love
0:21:03 > 0:21:05would've been made down this thing
0:21:05 > 0:21:07by people who have since turned to dust,
0:21:07 > 0:21:09so it's a bit haunted.
0:21:09 > 0:21:12You can imagine they said, "I know your wife's going to find out,
0:21:12 > 0:21:14"but I love you."
0:21:14 > 0:21:18He's dead, so's she, so's the wife - none of it matters.
0:21:18 > 0:21:21The poet Larkin said the only thing that would survive of us is love,
0:21:21 > 0:21:24but actually, he was wrong, it's the Bakelite telephone -
0:21:24 > 0:21:26it would survive the nuclear winter.
0:21:28 > 0:21:30Sorry, forgot my sweet pot.
0:21:34 > 0:21:37'We're four hours and 41 minutes into the build,
0:21:37 > 0:21:39'and a phone is starting to emerge.
0:21:39 > 0:21:42'There's a receiver, a dial, complete with mechanism,
0:21:42 > 0:21:45'electrics, bell and case.
0:21:45 > 0:21:46'Marvellous.'
0:21:46 > 0:21:48Ee-erh!
0:21:49 > 0:21:51Now, what I'll do next is put the dial on.
0:21:51 > 0:21:53I'm going to have to look at the wiring diagram...
0:21:56 > 0:21:59..to remember the order in which those wires connect
0:21:59 > 0:22:02to the tiny little contacts on the back of the dial.
0:22:02 > 0:22:07And the order goes orange, pink, brown, slate grey, blue.
0:22:08 > 0:22:11Orange, pink, brown, slate grey, blue -
0:22:11 > 0:22:13that's exactly what we've got.
0:22:13 > 0:22:16Now, these are some of the smallest screws in the telephone.
0:22:16 > 0:22:18Look. Tiny little screw.
0:22:20 > 0:22:22And the screw's a remarkable thing, actually, isn't it?
0:22:22 > 0:22:25Shall we think about screws for a minute? The thread form.
0:22:25 > 0:22:27That goes all the way back to Archimedes.
0:22:30 > 0:22:32But it's one thing we haven't managed to shake off -
0:22:32 > 0:22:33we still depend on them.
0:22:33 > 0:22:37They attach things together, they make things move in proportion.
0:22:37 > 0:22:38Shall I put them in?
0:22:38 > 0:22:41'It's only now, after five hours,
0:22:41 > 0:22:45'that the 211 separate, mostly minuscule components
0:22:45 > 0:22:46'that I started with
0:22:46 > 0:22:50'have turned into something reassuringly phone-shaped.'
0:22:50 > 0:22:52Quite satisfying.
0:22:52 > 0:22:53I'll be honest,
0:22:53 > 0:22:57I find that many of the troubles of the world disappear
0:22:57 > 0:23:00as I do up a very, very small screw.
0:23:02 > 0:23:03There you are, you see.
0:23:03 > 0:23:06For five glorious, blissful minutes while I did that,
0:23:06 > 0:23:09I'd completely forgotten that my missus left me last night.
0:23:12 > 0:23:14LAUGHING: She...she hasn't actually,
0:23:14 > 0:23:19but, I mean, I'm always slightly surprised when she's still there.
0:23:19 > 0:23:21Now, this, I think, if I've got this right,
0:23:21 > 0:23:23these two little... I don't...
0:23:23 > 0:23:25I'm not even sure what I would call those.
0:23:25 > 0:23:26Are they tabs?
0:23:26 > 0:23:31They will go through those slight cut outs in the Bakelite,
0:23:31 > 0:23:34and then I will give it a little bit of a turn
0:23:34 > 0:23:36and that will lock it in place behind that edge,
0:23:36 > 0:23:42and I will put the screw in, the awkward screw from the bottom
0:23:42 > 0:23:45and that will be the dial in.
0:23:45 > 0:23:46Yeah, you see, that's locked into place,
0:23:46 > 0:23:49but we've got to put that little screw in.
0:23:57 > 0:24:01Right, I'm expected to get a screw...
0:24:01 > 0:24:02That's very awkward,
0:24:02 > 0:24:05and the magic screwdriver may not help me here.
0:24:08 > 0:24:11It's very dark...inside the 1950s.
0:24:11 > 0:24:12Hang on, I need a torch.
0:24:17 > 0:24:18Ah, there you go.
0:24:26 > 0:24:27Oh, Mistress Irony.
0:24:28 > 0:24:34See, imagine if you'd approached Alexander Graham Bell and said,
0:24:34 > 0:24:37"Your telephone's brilliant, mate, but I think it needs a torch on it."
0:24:37 > 0:24:39I mean you'd...people would've said you were mad.
0:24:39 > 0:24:41I think we're in the position...
0:24:41 > 0:24:45We're very, very close to telephone closure here.
0:24:45 > 0:24:48We can put the base on.
0:24:51 > 0:24:52So, those are the feet.
0:24:55 > 0:24:58And then the base itself, and I've just noticed -
0:24:58 > 0:25:00I don't know why I didn't see this before -
0:25:00 > 0:25:04but there's a much, much better wiring diagram for the telephone
0:25:04 > 0:25:06actually on the telephone.
0:25:06 > 0:25:09It's much clearer. Yeah, it just makes perfect sense.
0:25:33 > 0:25:36Now, we're almost there,
0:25:36 > 0:25:39but that has to go on.
0:25:39 > 0:25:45'After six hours and 37 minutes, this reassembly is almost finished.
0:25:45 > 0:25:49'The 1957 GPO Bakelite telephone with internal bell
0:25:49 > 0:25:51'will soon be complete.
0:25:51 > 0:25:52'Standby, caller.'
0:25:52 > 0:25:55Now I've got a little bit of telephone trivia for you,
0:25:55 > 0:25:59if you're interested, about the 999 emergency number,
0:25:59 > 0:26:01which is written on this little piece of cardboard
0:26:01 > 0:26:03that goes on the front of the dial.
0:26:03 > 0:26:08And the reason it's 999 is not as a lot of people imagine
0:26:08 > 0:26:11because in the dark you can put your two fingers on the dial
0:26:11 > 0:26:12and find the nine.
0:26:12 > 0:26:15That's a silly theory cos you could just as easily find the zero.
0:26:15 > 0:26:18The reason is the telephone works
0:26:18 > 0:26:21by sending a series of pulses down the line.
0:26:21 > 0:26:24That's three pulses for the number three.
0:26:24 > 0:26:25The problem with it is
0:26:25 > 0:26:28telephone exchanges would take a while to wake up,
0:26:28 > 0:26:30they couldn't wake up with just a one.
0:26:30 > 0:26:33They needed a big number like zero
0:26:33 > 0:26:35which is why most telephone numbers
0:26:35 > 0:26:37began with a zero - that's one problem.
0:26:37 > 0:26:39The other problem is that the early telephone lines
0:26:39 > 0:26:41were suspended through the air
0:26:41 > 0:26:44and if they touched each other, that sent a pulse down the line,
0:26:44 > 0:26:46and on windy days, they would occasionally touch
0:26:46 > 0:26:48and you'd get a single pulse down the line.
0:26:48 > 0:26:50There was a very good chance that you could get
0:26:50 > 0:26:52three of those in succession
0:26:52 > 0:26:53which would give you 111,
0:26:53 > 0:26:57and if you'd made 111 the emergency dialling number,
0:26:57 > 0:26:59that would happen by accident all the time.
0:26:59 > 0:27:02By making it 999, the chances of you getting
0:27:02 > 0:27:05three bursts of nine collisions of wires
0:27:05 > 0:27:08are, you know, just billions and billions to one,
0:27:08 > 0:27:09so it wouldn't happen accidentally.
0:27:09 > 0:27:14That is why we have 999 as the emergency number.
0:27:15 > 0:27:17Here is the small piece of...
0:27:17 > 0:27:20I imagine that's cellulose acetate or something like that,
0:27:20 > 0:27:23with its locating pin at the bottom
0:27:23 > 0:27:26so you can't put this perfectly blank circular piece of stuff in
0:27:26 > 0:27:28in the wrong position.
0:27:28 > 0:27:31It only has a wrong position as a result of having the device
0:27:31 > 0:27:32to make sure you put it in the right position.
0:27:38 > 0:27:43The 1957 GPO-supplied British domestic Bakelite telephone
0:27:43 > 0:27:45with an internal bell.
0:27:46 > 0:27:48The weird thing is that when this was new,
0:27:48 > 0:27:51this would've been a miracle of technology,
0:27:51 > 0:27:52a marvel of manufacturing
0:27:52 > 0:27:54because of all those small bits in it.
0:27:54 > 0:27:58Now it's old, the thing we like about it is the way it looks,
0:27:58 > 0:27:59not the way it works.
0:27:59 > 0:28:02Yes, it's part of the history of art and design.
0:28:02 > 0:28:04It is part of the history of technology as well,
0:28:04 > 0:28:07but old technology is useless.
0:28:07 > 0:28:10Old art and design is still interesting.
0:28:10 > 0:28:11Shall we plug it in and see if it works?
0:28:33 > 0:28:36TELEPHONE RINGS
0:28:41 > 0:28:42Will somebody get that?
0:28:42 > 0:28:45TELEPHONE CONTINUES TO RING