0:00:02 > 0:00:05Hello. I'm in the middle of a great dilemma.
0:00:05 > 0:00:09Which cruise line is best for a short cruise?
0:00:09 > 0:00:12Now, I've got here a brochure, but it looks a bit...
0:00:13 > 0:00:15..sort of rubbishy.
0:00:15 > 0:00:16Oh, is it?
0:00:16 > 0:00:18P&O Cruises.
0:00:20 > 0:00:21And they're really lovely.
0:00:24 > 0:00:26You don't need any tickets, just go straight down
0:00:26 > 0:00:30and join the queue to come up the gangway. Up there, OK?
0:01:05 > 0:01:07RINGING
0:01:08 > 0:01:09Who is that?
0:01:09 > 0:01:11Liz, it's Daisy.
0:01:11 > 0:01:13Oh, it's Daisy, is it?!
0:01:13 > 0:01:15Do you want to come up?
0:01:17 > 0:01:21I'll put some shoes on instead of slippers. Which would look...
0:01:21 > 0:01:25I'll put my best shoes on.
0:01:26 > 0:01:30That old mirror must have seen a few people, mustn't it?
0:01:31 > 0:01:34It must have been in some very handsome rooms,
0:01:34 > 0:01:36not a bit like this one!
0:01:36 > 0:01:38I used to buy lots of things,
0:01:38 > 0:01:42but I had to get rid of them when I came to live in a flat.
0:01:42 > 0:01:44Come downstairs with me.
0:01:44 > 0:01:47Why did you move to a little flat?
0:01:47 > 0:01:50It's just lovely. It's so lonely.
0:01:50 > 0:01:52You see, my husband left...
0:01:54 > 0:01:56What was it?
0:01:57 > 0:02:02About 1957 kind of time, a long time.
0:02:02 > 0:02:06Lived in houses by myself...
0:02:07 > 0:02:10..all those years. Been very, very lonely.
0:02:11 > 0:02:16It's lovely when you come back and there are people here to say where you've been,
0:02:16 > 0:02:24what you've done, advice, you know, which optician to go to and where you get your new false teeth.
0:02:24 > 0:02:26That reminds me, I need some new false teeth.
0:02:26 > 0:02:29I've got to get some before I go on this thing.
0:02:29 > 0:02:31I need some more.
0:02:33 > 0:02:35Come on, Daisy.
0:02:35 > 0:02:37Will everyone be jealous of your cruise?
0:02:37 > 0:02:40No, they'll just be interested.
0:02:40 > 0:02:45Got nothing to be jealous of because they've all done things. Yeah.
0:02:48 > 0:02:50- Ladies?- Oh, hello.
0:02:50 > 0:02:52Ladies, I've got a question.
0:02:52 > 0:02:55I think these are much travelled ladies.
0:02:55 > 0:02:58- We haven't always been.- No!
0:02:58 > 0:02:59You've lived!
0:03:00 > 0:03:03That's true! That's right.
0:03:03 > 0:03:04I've come for a bit of advice
0:03:04 > 0:03:07because we don't know the different cruise lines.
0:03:07 > 0:03:09Now, does any...
0:03:09 > 0:03:11Fred Olsen. Fred Olsen's the best.
0:03:11 > 0:03:13- Is it?- Yeah.
0:03:13 > 0:03:14I've been on the Queen.
0:03:14 > 0:03:18It was very rough going through the Bay of Biscay!
0:03:18 > 0:03:22We were fortunate. We didn't have any rough weather at all,
0:03:22 > 0:03:25it was just a millpond all the way there and back. It was wonderful.
0:03:25 > 0:03:28Have you got a photograph of you with the captain?
0:03:28 > 0:03:30I've got ever so many handsome captains.
0:03:30 > 0:03:34- The thing is everybody has their photograph taken with the captain.- Sex mad!
0:03:35 > 0:03:38- Goodness me!- You're in it already.
0:03:38 > 0:03:40These prices aren't bad from what I can see.
0:03:40 > 0:03:41Where did you go?
0:03:41 > 0:03:43- I flew out to Barbados.- Oooh.
0:03:43 > 0:03:47It is nice to fly and then to be able to get straight on your ship.
0:03:47 > 0:03:49- Yeah.- Yeah.- It's great.
0:03:49 > 0:03:51You've been on cruises, haven't you?
0:03:51 > 0:03:53Have you ever been on Royal Caribbean?
0:03:53 > 0:03:56- Yes.- You have?- I have.- How was it?
0:03:56 > 0:03:58Nothing wrong with it at all, it was us.
0:03:58 > 0:04:00We hated it.
0:04:00 > 0:04:02THEY LAUGH
0:04:02 > 0:04:08You don't get a moment's peace as every single square inch of the boat is wired for sound.
0:04:08 > 0:04:09Ooooh.
0:04:09 > 0:04:13And on the formal evenings we worse white tie and tails
0:04:13 > 0:04:16- and the Americans were wearing jeans and t-shirts.- Ooooh!
0:04:16 > 0:04:18And I sat there like a twit...
0:04:18 > 0:04:21I don't think it's for us, is it?
0:04:21 > 0:04:23- We don't want that.- No, we don't.
0:04:26 > 0:04:28Have you got any painkillers?
0:04:28 > 0:04:31Anybody got an Paracetamol or anything?
0:04:31 > 0:04:33Not here. I've got some upstairs.
0:04:33 > 0:04:38The last cruise ship I was on was a troop ship.
0:04:38 > 0:04:40Oh, very nice.
0:04:40 > 0:04:43About 30 girls in one cabin.
0:04:43 > 0:04:47So this will be a very different one whatever it is.
0:04:47 > 0:04:50I'm off now! Thanks a lot, girls.
0:04:50 > 0:04:52- OK, see you.- And boy. Thank you.
0:04:52 > 0:04:56Well, the world's your oyster! The world's your oyster!
0:04:56 > 0:04:58- Hasn't helped at all, has it?- No.
0:04:58 > 0:05:00Sounds terrible, doesn't it?
0:05:00 > 0:05:02We'd go mad, wouldn't we?
0:05:02 > 0:05:03Muzak.
0:05:03 > 0:05:06No, not muzak. Not muzak, no.
0:05:08 > 0:05:09Oh, dear.
0:05:10 > 0:05:13Back to the little nest.
0:05:13 > 0:05:16Better than living on your own, you know?
0:05:20 > 0:05:25Takes a lot of the responsibility away of running a house.
0:05:25 > 0:05:29How come you're still working at 86?
0:05:29 > 0:05:32Don't know really.
0:05:32 > 0:05:36Well, you need a bit of interest, don't you?
0:05:36 > 0:05:40Otherwise you can...
0:05:40 > 0:05:42you can retire and get...
0:05:42 > 0:05:45soggy. You know?
0:05:45 > 0:05:50If I'm left alone, I'm full of resolutions,
0:05:50 > 0:05:54full of things I should be doing,
0:05:54 > 0:05:57and I sit there and I think about it
0:05:57 > 0:06:02and I think about it and I think about it.
0:06:02 > 0:06:03And that's all.
0:06:03 > 0:06:06So why a cruise, Liz?
0:06:06 > 0:06:07Why did you want to go on a cruise?
0:06:07 > 0:06:09I can't remember saying I did!
0:06:09 > 0:06:13- Really? So you don't really want to go on a cruise?- Not really!
0:06:13 > 0:06:15You're dreading it!
0:06:15 > 0:06:17Yeah.
0:06:17 > 0:06:20I won't have a thing to wear.
0:06:24 > 0:06:26It's very fashionable at the moment.
0:06:26 > 0:06:27Yeah, I like the bling, yeah.
0:06:27 > 0:06:29- I like bling.- Snazzy cossie.
0:06:33 > 0:06:35- Now, that would be nice..- Yes.
0:06:35 > 0:06:38- Oooh, look at that! - And that gorgeous...
0:06:44 > 0:06:47I don't mind people seeing my suspenders.
0:06:48 > 0:06:52That is the most gorgeous colour. It looks like something that would feel...
0:06:52 > 0:06:54Relaxed fabric.
0:06:56 > 0:06:59Well, cheers. SHE CHUCKLES
0:06:59 > 0:07:02I'll be a vision in black and white.
0:07:05 > 0:07:09- It is posh here, isn't it? - It is posh. It is posh.
0:07:09 > 0:07:11It's been a posh day.
0:07:11 > 0:07:13Loved it.
0:07:15 > 0:07:17Do you approve, then?
0:07:17 > 0:07:20- Very nice.- Very nice.- Very stylish.
0:07:20 > 0:07:22Come on! Come on!
0:07:29 > 0:07:32I lock that because there's evil around.
0:07:32 > 0:07:35Mystery and evil is about.
0:07:35 > 0:07:36Strange things.
0:07:38 > 0:07:41Strange things are happening.
0:07:41 > 0:07:45Strange things are happening!
0:07:45 > 0:07:48Lock the door!
0:07:48 > 0:07:50Lock the door!
0:07:50 > 0:07:53- # Wish me luck as you wave me goodbye. #- Bye!
0:07:55 > 0:07:56Be good! Be good!
0:07:58 > 0:08:00Send us a postcard.
0:08:06 > 0:08:10The whole idea of Venice is thrilling.
0:08:12 > 0:08:14So how are your sea legs?
0:08:14 > 0:08:20Oh, terrible. I'll probably be seasick the whole time.
0:08:20 > 0:08:25I'll probably, for the whole voyage, won't be able to get off the bed,
0:08:25 > 0:08:27because I'll be seasick.
0:08:30 > 0:08:34It'll probably end up a disaster!
0:08:34 > 0:08:38You take my hand for the last bit there. There we go.
0:08:38 > 0:08:41- Thank you very much.- Welcome aboard.
0:08:41 > 0:08:42Thank you!
0:08:45 > 0:08:47Very nice.
0:08:47 > 0:08:49Oh, we're here.
0:08:49 > 0:08:54We're here. We're here. We're here.
0:08:57 > 0:09:00- Thank you.- Welcome on board.
0:09:00 > 0:09:03I'm going to put my feet up for two minutes.
0:09:03 > 0:09:07On behalf of Captain Clive Partend, his officers and crew,
0:09:07 > 0:09:11we extend to you a very warm welcome on board Hebridean Spirit.
0:09:11 > 0:09:17Afternoon tea is being served in the Skylounge, which is at the after end of deck three.
0:09:17 > 0:09:18Thank you.
0:09:18 > 0:09:23Is that thing up there wobbling or am I wobbling?
0:09:24 > 0:09:26It's wobbling.
0:09:26 > 0:09:27So I'm all right, am I?
0:09:27 > 0:09:30For a little bit longer. Oh!
0:09:30 > 0:09:33Oh, what a relief.
0:09:33 > 0:09:36What a relief. Aw!
0:09:39 > 0:09:41Draw the curtains.
0:09:44 > 0:09:46We're just about ready to sail.
0:09:46 > 0:09:51When you hear the signal, please take your lifejacket from your cabin
0:09:51 > 0:09:56and go to your muster station in the Skylounge.
0:09:56 > 0:10:04The signal for the drill is seven short rings, followed by one long ring on the ship's alarm system.
0:10:07 > 0:10:12ALARM SOUNDS
0:10:23 > 0:10:25Floor exercise, floor exercise.
0:10:25 > 0:10:29All guests and associated crew to muster stations.
0:10:29 > 0:10:32Floor exercise, floor exercise.
0:10:32 > 0:10:36All guests and associated crew to muster stations.
0:10:43 > 0:10:44We jump out of the boat this side.
0:10:44 > 0:10:47Look.
0:10:47 > 0:10:50How's that? A kid would love that!
0:10:54 > 0:10:56How can I turn it off?
0:10:56 > 0:11:00The light will only come on once it's immersed in salt water anyway.
0:11:00 > 0:11:04One arm across the top of the block in front of you and hold your bows,
0:11:04 > 0:11:07and then look at the side of the ship and just step off,
0:11:07 > 0:11:09trying to keep both feet together.
0:11:09 > 0:11:11And then, hopefully, you'll enter the water
0:11:11 > 0:11:16- with both feet together and then the life jacket will take over.- Oh, God.
0:11:16 > 0:11:19If, throughout the week, you see anybody fall over the side of the ship,
0:11:19 > 0:11:23there are lifebelts all around the ship, please pick up a lifebelt,
0:11:23 > 0:11:28throw it into the water in their general direction, because once somebody falls into the water,
0:11:28 > 0:11:30it's like looking for a needle in a haystack.
0:11:30 > 0:11:34OK, Maureen Booth.
0:11:34 > 0:11:36- Anne Broxon.- Yes.
0:11:36 > 0:11:38- Christopher Broxon.- Here.
0:11:38 > 0:11:42- Graham Bormley.- Here.- Douglas Scott.
0:11:42 > 0:11:44John Shell.
0:11:44 > 0:11:46- Liz Smith.- Yes.
0:11:46 > 0:11:49- James Smith.- Yeah.
0:11:49 > 0:11:51We're moving. Look.
0:11:52 > 0:11:58The last time I was on a ship was in 1942.
0:11:58 > 0:12:00And that was a troop ship.
0:12:00 > 0:12:04It wasn't nearly as comfortable as this.
0:12:04 > 0:12:11There'd be about at least 20 or more WRENS living in that space.
0:12:12 > 0:12:14It's a distinct improvement.
0:12:18 > 0:12:20Look forward to meeting some of you.
0:12:20 > 0:12:24There will be a Pimm's reception at which you'll be introduced to
0:12:24 > 0:12:27some of the people who will be looking after you on the cruise.
0:12:30 > 0:12:34Good evening. How are you? I'm Anthony Stephens, chief purser. Would you like to have a Pimm's?
0:12:34 > 0:12:37- I'd love one. - Excellent. There we go then.
0:12:37 > 0:12:39- Thank you very much. - There it is.- Thank you.
0:12:41 > 0:12:43How about this?
0:12:45 > 0:12:51I have thought about cruises, but I've been nervous to go on them
0:12:51 > 0:12:55because I would go as a single person, and there's always
0:12:55 > 0:13:02that moment of, "Will you meet enough people to be friendly with you or will you be isolated?"
0:13:04 > 0:13:07I want to be included.
0:13:10 > 0:13:14I'm cramping your style because if I wasn't here you'd go and sit with them.
0:13:14 > 0:13:16No, I wouldn't.
0:13:16 > 0:13:17They wouldn't want me.
0:13:17 > 0:13:22- Course they would. - They wouldn't, they wouldn't want me.
0:13:22 > 0:13:24I don't believe that, they'd love to talk to you.
0:13:24 > 0:13:28No, they wouldn't. I'm not wanted. No.
0:13:28 > 0:13:31No. That's my big complex.
0:13:35 > 0:13:38Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.
0:13:38 > 0:13:41My name's Anthony Stephens. I'm chief purser on board Hebridean Spirit,
0:13:41 > 0:13:44and the first officer I'm going to introduce you to is
0:13:44 > 0:13:46one I hope you only have to meet socially,
0:13:46 > 0:13:49and that is the ship's medical officer. That's Dr Black.
0:13:49 > 0:13:52He said, "How are you feeling?" I said, "Do I look awful?"
0:13:52 > 0:13:56When a doctor says to you, "Hw are you feeling?" you've got be a bit worried.
0:13:56 > 0:14:02- Come on.- Next we have our purser... - Hello. Lovely to meet you. - Nice to meet you.
0:14:02 > 0:14:05Didn't want to interfere, but lovely to have you on board.
0:14:05 > 0:14:09- Thank you very much! - We're on our honeymoon.
0:14:09 > 0:14:12- Oh, are you really?! - Yes!- How romantic!
0:14:12 > 0:14:16- We got married in March.- How lovely. What a lovely ship for a honeymoon.
0:14:16 > 0:14:19- It is, just like a hotel. - Just beautiful.
0:14:19 > 0:14:20Really lovely.
0:14:20 > 0:14:22Have a super time, I'm sure you will.
0:14:22 > 0:14:24See you anyway. Lovely to see you.
0:14:29 > 0:14:32- That's nice, isn't it?- See?
0:14:32 > 0:14:35Everybody's longing to talk to you.
0:14:35 > 0:14:39But that's nice, isn't it, to be on a honeymoon.
0:14:39 > 0:14:42God, I've forgotten what it's like to be on a honeymoon.
0:14:42 > 0:14:47I went on my honeymoon in 1945.
0:14:48 > 0:14:53Come on! There you go, the honeymoon didn't last very long.
0:14:55 > 0:14:59I'll take you down for dinner!
0:14:59 > 0:15:01Oooh, look! Aren't I lucky!
0:15:01 > 0:15:04So early in the cruise and you've got male company already.
0:15:04 > 0:15:06Are you taking the lift?
0:15:08 > 0:15:13- The stairs are a nuisance.- Yes, they are. After you. It's down here.
0:15:13 > 0:15:16No, we're not. We're down here.
0:15:16 > 0:15:21- Pressed the wrong button. - Are we on the right floor?
0:15:21 > 0:15:23- No. Back in again.- Haberdashery.
0:15:23 > 0:15:27- We need to go up to...- Ladieswear. - We need to be on two.
0:15:27 > 0:15:29Getting around, aren't we?
0:15:29 > 0:15:31Oh, lovely.
0:15:34 > 0:15:35Table 15.
0:15:44 > 0:15:46Do you think you'll make any friends?
0:15:47 > 0:15:49Made some, haven't I?
0:15:51 > 0:15:53It's nice if they give me a smile.
0:16:06 > 0:16:09- Lovely morning.- Beautiful sight. - Very, very fresh.
0:16:09 > 0:16:12Look at that. Just look!
0:16:15 > 0:16:18Sunshine, fresh air, very good.
0:16:18 > 0:16:20How lovely. Lovely, lovely.
0:16:21 > 0:16:24'To be 86, and nearly 87, don't forget,
0:16:24 > 0:16:28'I think when you're that age, you do wonder,
0:16:28 > 0:16:31'"How much longer have I got?"'
0:16:31 > 0:16:37Fresh food, croissant, cooked breakfast, yoghurt...
0:16:37 > 0:16:43- 'So, you don't want to waste it.' - This is Sergei. Professional cook.
0:16:43 > 0:16:48- Morning, Sergei. - We have plenty kippers.
0:16:48 > 0:16:50- Plenty kippers?- Yeah.
0:16:50 > 0:16:51Oh, I like kippers.
0:16:53 > 0:16:56Very, very good. Many people like this one.
0:16:56 > 0:16:59- Oh, what a lovely kipper! - Very hot plate.
0:16:59 > 0:17:02Five minutes ago, I ordered a kipper.
0:17:02 > 0:17:05You caught it, he cooked it.
0:17:05 > 0:17:08- Prepared for you. - Ooh, look at it, though.
0:17:08 > 0:17:10It's a gorgeous kipper, look.
0:17:13 > 0:17:16Little cafes, tea, cake...
0:17:16 > 0:17:21Yes. There's a shopping complex. Whole shopping, bar.
0:17:21 > 0:17:24- With a little bar, cafe.- Yes, yes.
0:17:24 > 0:17:27- It's on this road.- Good.
0:17:29 > 0:17:32Do you like football here? Is football big?
0:17:32 > 0:17:35Not much. I like motorbikes.
0:17:35 > 0:17:37- You like motorbikes?- Yes.
0:17:37 > 0:17:40Guns and Roses is better.
0:17:40 > 0:17:42I don't know that one.
0:17:42 > 0:17:43I like, um...
0:17:46 > 0:17:48Roy Orbison.
0:17:48 > 0:17:51- He's the...- Roy Orbison.
0:17:51 > 0:17:53Yes, it's different music.
0:17:55 > 0:17:59Lovely. It speaks every language, doesn't it? Music.
0:18:09 > 0:18:11# Pretty woman
0:18:11 > 0:18:13# Walking down the street
0:18:13 > 0:18:14# Pretty woman
0:18:14 > 0:18:16# The kind I like to meet
0:18:16 > 0:18:19# Pretty woman
0:18:19 > 0:18:23# I don't believe you, you're not the truth
0:18:23 > 0:18:28# No-one could look as good as you... # Come in, girls.
0:18:29 > 0:18:31The fan club!
0:18:35 > 0:18:37That's nice, isn't it?
0:18:37 > 0:18:39I tell you...
0:18:39 > 0:18:42that's what it's all about, isn't it?
0:18:44 > 0:18:47That's the happiness.
0:18:47 > 0:18:48# ..as can be
0:18:48 > 0:18:51# Are you lonely just like me? #
0:18:55 > 0:18:59We were guessing you were...trying to think of your name.
0:18:59 > 0:19:01- Oh, yeah.- What are you filming?
0:19:01 > 0:19:03Vicar Of Dibley, that's all we could think of.
0:19:09 > 0:19:13That's nice, you know, when you're just buying half a pound of butter
0:19:13 > 0:19:19and somebody yells at you, "I love you". It's nice. Very nice.
0:19:19 > 0:19:21I like it.
0:19:21 > 0:19:23It's quite strange, isn't it, though?
0:19:23 > 0:19:26That they feel they know you.
0:19:26 > 0:19:29Yes. They do.
0:19:29 > 0:19:32I've been into their living room, you see.
0:19:32 > 0:19:35There's a huge difference of being part of,
0:19:35 > 0:19:38you know, a really huge...
0:19:38 > 0:19:40family and yet, feeling...
0:19:42 > 0:19:44..isolated, really. Yeah.
0:19:46 > 0:19:48It's an odd mixture.
0:19:48 > 0:19:52That's lovely. Thank you.
0:19:52 > 0:19:55What were you like as a little girl?
0:19:55 > 0:19:59I always had one knicker leg hanging right down.
0:19:59 > 0:20:03And apparently, I used to spit.
0:20:08 > 0:20:10A bit rough, a bit rough.
0:20:10 > 0:20:15I lived in a house with my grandma and grandad
0:20:15 > 0:20:18because my mother had died.
0:20:18 > 0:20:21My father, I hardly ever saw.
0:20:21 > 0:20:23He used to pop up sometimes.
0:20:23 > 0:20:31But one day, he met me coming out of Sunday school and he waved to me
0:20:31 > 0:20:34and he said, "Bye-bye, kid.
0:20:34 > 0:20:37"Bye-bye. I'll write.
0:20:37 > 0:20:39"I'll write," he said.
0:20:39 > 0:20:42And he backed away against the sun.
0:20:42 > 0:20:45And that's the last I saw of him.
0:20:45 > 0:20:48And then, after that, my grandfather,
0:20:48 > 0:20:51who was wonderful, and I adored, died
0:20:51 > 0:20:54in a big flu epidemic,
0:20:54 > 0:21:02which left me alone with my grieving grandmother now isolated and alone
0:21:02 > 0:21:04in this...
0:21:04 > 0:21:05Hello, kids.
0:21:09 > 0:21:11Why did your mother die?
0:21:11 > 0:21:13She died in childbirth.
0:21:13 > 0:21:18And the baby died as well. Otherwise, I'd have had a sister, you see.
0:21:18 > 0:21:20So, it left us with nobody.
0:21:22 > 0:21:27So, my grandma sent me out to do things to be with other children.
0:21:27 > 0:21:30And that's how I started doing little
0:21:30 > 0:21:34plays and things at the church hall and making people...
0:21:34 > 0:21:37I felt, "This is what I want to do."
0:21:37 > 0:21:43I love this, laughter, and the light and everything.
0:21:43 > 0:21:47So that's how it started.
0:21:47 > 0:21:53From that day on and it took a long time, I might say, a long time.
0:21:54 > 0:21:58I got rejections until I was 50.
0:21:58 > 0:22:02I had to wait till 50 before it really started.
0:22:03 > 0:22:07My best years have been in my 80s!
0:22:10 > 0:22:13Will you explain to me what this says?
0:22:13 > 0:22:15This is especially good.
0:22:15 > 0:22:20- This a special honey. - This is like three Viagra.
0:22:20 > 0:22:21Viagra?
0:22:21 > 0:22:24Oh, my goodness me!
0:22:24 > 0:22:28Oh, well, I'll be all right now then, because this is good for Viagra.
0:22:28 > 0:22:31Yes, that's right. Perhaps before you pay...
0:22:33 > 0:22:35Try it. Taste it.
0:22:35 > 0:22:37Try it? A demonstration?
0:22:37 > 0:22:40Demonstration...
0:22:40 > 0:22:41I'll buy that.
0:22:41 > 0:22:44Many terrorists, tourists...
0:22:44 > 0:22:46I'm not a terrorist! SHE LAUGHS
0:22:46 > 0:22:49I don't speak good English, sorry.
0:22:49 > 0:22:53- Is good for orgasmismus. - Orgasmismus.
0:22:53 > 0:22:56THEY LAUGH
0:22:56 > 0:22:58What is this?
0:22:58 > 0:23:02What's good for my orgasm is good.
0:23:02 > 0:23:04Oh, a little bag.
0:23:04 > 0:23:07Ja, it's included in the price.
0:23:07 > 0:23:11- Is it included? - If you like, pay me. Thank you.
0:23:11 > 0:23:12Thank you.
0:23:12 > 0:23:14Thank you.
0:23:14 > 0:23:16Very nice.
0:23:16 > 0:23:18- Happy, happy.- You're welcome.
0:23:18 > 0:23:20- Thank you very much. - Come back next year.
0:23:20 > 0:23:21I look forward to that.
0:23:21 > 0:23:26- And we see how is this orgasma... - And see how my orgasma is.- Yeah.
0:23:26 > 0:23:28Thank you very much.
0:23:28 > 0:23:29- You're welcome.- Bye-bye.
0:23:29 > 0:23:31- Ciao, baby.- Happy days. Ciao, baby.
0:23:31 > 0:23:34Ciao, baby.
0:23:34 > 0:23:36"Ciao baby," he says.
0:23:40 > 0:23:43Excuse me, I'm just going to look at a jumper now.
0:23:52 > 0:23:54Good evening, everybody.
0:23:55 > 0:23:57Well, we got a few murmurs.
0:23:58 > 0:24:01I don't think it'll get much worse than this tonight.
0:24:01 > 0:24:03We're just off the shore now.
0:24:03 > 0:24:05Northerly winds, although a little bit chilly,
0:24:05 > 0:24:07usually mean clear blue skies.
0:24:07 > 0:24:10- As we had today. Cheers.- Cheers!
0:24:10 > 0:24:14CLAPPING
0:24:14 > 0:24:16How long have you been on your own?
0:24:16 > 0:24:21Well, I was married in 1945.
0:24:21 > 0:24:28He left 11 years later and I've been on my own since then.
0:24:28 > 0:24:31- So it's a long time. - Since 1957, really.
0:24:31 > 0:24:33You see, we got married in '56.
0:24:33 > 0:24:36That was when I was divorcing.
0:24:36 > 0:24:38That's a long time to be on your own.
0:24:38 > 0:24:40It is, it is.
0:24:41 > 0:24:45Some things, you find it very difficult to do.
0:24:45 > 0:24:47Going on holiday is one of them.
0:24:47 > 0:24:50- Yes. I can believe that.- No, very.
0:24:50 > 0:24:54I've got some widowed friends and they will cruise because they're never left alone.
0:24:54 > 0:24:59- No.- Sometimes, they're a bit too organised on some of these huge
0:24:59 > 0:25:07- ships where they have male dance partners and all that laid on. - Well, that's what I wanted to avoid.
0:25:07 > 0:25:10SHE GIGGLES
0:25:10 > 0:25:13Oh, God!
0:25:13 > 0:25:14Is it the ship or is it me?
0:25:14 > 0:25:16It is not the ship.
0:25:16 > 0:25:18It's not the ship.
0:25:18 > 0:25:21- We're still in port! - THEY LAUGH
0:25:21 > 0:25:22We're still in port.
0:25:22 > 0:25:25- We'll take a left. - I'm glad you're there.
0:25:25 > 0:25:27I'm glad too. You're holding me up.
0:25:27 > 0:25:31- Do you want to take the lift or the stairs?- Ooh, no, lift, please.
0:25:31 > 0:25:34- You're looking very nice.- Thank you.
0:25:34 > 0:25:36It's nice to have some interest.
0:25:40 > 0:25:42Oh, how did you get there so quickly?
0:25:42 > 0:25:44My goodness!
0:25:44 > 0:25:46So quick.
0:25:48 > 0:25:50It's a wobbly ship.
0:25:52 > 0:25:55I've had nothing but water all evening.
0:25:55 > 0:25:57It's the ship...
0:25:57 > 0:25:58It's wobbly.
0:26:24 > 0:26:28'If there are more guests who would like to go ashore this morning,
0:26:28 > 0:26:31'we have a tender just coming alongside. Thank you.'
0:26:31 > 0:26:33Is that the tender?
0:26:35 > 0:26:40You can be quite energetic on this cruise if you want, can't you?
0:26:40 > 0:26:42If you want.
0:26:46 > 0:26:49The sea looks a bit choppy to me.
0:26:53 > 0:26:57I don't fancy bouncing up and down in a tender boat.
0:26:57 > 0:27:01I'll go and take my blood pressure tablets, I think.
0:27:04 > 0:27:07You know that tender, is it very...?
0:27:07 > 0:27:11No, I don't think so.
0:27:11 > 0:27:12It is all right to go?
0:27:12 > 0:27:15Yeah. It's all right to go.
0:27:15 > 0:27:18But they're going backwards and forwards all day.
0:27:18 > 0:27:20Yeah, sure.
0:27:20 > 0:27:22Going in about an hour.
0:27:22 > 0:27:24Looking forward to it very much.
0:27:26 > 0:27:27Isn't that nice? Look.
0:27:27 > 0:27:29They've done me a butterfly.
0:27:31 > 0:27:34This is my blood pressure tablets.
0:27:34 > 0:27:37Loads and loads and loads.
0:27:37 > 0:27:40How many of those a day then?
0:27:40 > 0:27:42Just one of each.
0:27:42 > 0:27:45Does the tender bob up and down?
0:27:45 > 0:27:46It probably does a bit.
0:28:05 > 0:28:08Wonderful. Nice to be on dry land again, isn't it?
0:28:10 > 0:28:14I don't think I'm a sea-going type, really.
0:28:17 > 0:28:20Oh! How lovely!
0:28:20 > 0:28:25Everybody to the person, they just absolutely adore you.
0:28:25 > 0:28:28There you are! There you are, Nursy.
0:28:28 > 0:28:32- She doesn't believe it.- Pardon?
0:28:32 > 0:28:36- There you go. We don't lie. - No, we don't lie.
0:28:36 > 0:28:38Very fond, very fond of you.
0:28:38 > 0:28:43We meet a lot of people and everyone to the very last...
0:28:46 > 0:28:48I think we'll have to love you and leave you.
0:28:48 > 0:28:51- And we do love you.- Thank you. Thank you.
0:28:51 > 0:28:53- Remember us.- Thank you.
0:28:53 > 0:28:55Thank you. I will now have a picture.
0:28:55 > 0:28:58Oh, have you got that? SHE LAUGHS
0:29:02 > 0:29:04Did you catch that, Daisy?
0:29:04 > 0:29:07- Yes, I did.- Did you catch that? - We can have a re-run.
0:29:07 > 0:29:11- We don't mind. - SHE CACKLES WITH LAUGHTER
0:29:11 > 0:29:14Have you got that, Daisy?
0:29:14 > 0:29:17Yes, Liz.
0:29:17 > 0:29:24'I think they like the character, the part, I think that's what they love probably.
0:29:24 > 0:29:29'I've been lucky to have endearing parts,
0:29:29 > 0:29:31'like Nana who's endearing.
0:29:31 > 0:29:35'She was an old bag, really, but they liked her.'
0:29:38 > 0:29:40SHOUTING FROM INSIDE
0:29:40 > 0:29:43- Mysterious.- Hello!
0:29:43 > 0:29:46- Isn't it lovely here?- Beautiful.
0:29:46 > 0:29:50- I love it.- If you keep going, you'll come to a big open square with lots of nice coffee shops.
0:29:50 > 0:29:52Oh, that's what I'm looking for!
0:29:55 > 0:30:00'I haven't had, erm, a bundle of friends. Some people do.'
0:30:00 > 0:30:02What is this one here, that one?
0:30:02 > 0:30:04Haselnuss. Nut.
0:30:04 > 0:30:11'In my childhood, everybody disappeared, one reason or another.
0:30:11 > 0:30:15'It's left me marked for my life, really.
0:30:15 > 0:30:18'Which I think everybody is in their own way.'
0:30:18 > 0:30:20- Good?- Delicious. Very good.
0:30:20 > 0:30:22Thank you.
0:30:22 > 0:30:27'People get their impression of you, but they really don't know
0:30:27 > 0:30:32'what it is that makes you react in the way you do.'
0:30:36 > 0:30:38That's good, look.
0:30:38 > 0:30:39Abdominal band.
0:30:39 > 0:30:42Hold you in a bit.
0:30:43 > 0:30:46Do you have TCP, a small bottle?
0:30:46 > 0:30:48- Er, T...?- TCP, gargle?
0:30:48 > 0:30:52- Ah, gargle.- TCP.
0:30:52 > 0:30:54- TCP, no.- Smaller.
0:30:54 > 0:30:56Everything is...
0:30:56 > 0:30:58- Big. It's big.- It's big.
0:30:58 > 0:31:00Thank you. Thank you.
0:31:02 > 0:31:08I should have bought an abdo...abdominal band.
0:31:08 > 0:31:14'If you get anyone who realises why you react the way you do,
0:31:14 > 0:31:17'then they are a real friend.
0:31:20 > 0:31:26'But you would be extraordinary if you had a friend as good as all that.
0:31:26 > 0:31:30'There are not many real friends about.
0:31:30 > 0:31:34'Everybody's pretending.'
0:31:34 > 0:31:38What d'you think goes on in this town, then, Liz?
0:31:38 > 0:31:41Murder, intrigue.
0:31:41 > 0:31:43Lust and love.
0:31:46 > 0:31:49Don't go down the alleyways at night.
0:31:51 > 0:31:53At least not by yourself.
0:32:03 > 0:32:07Liz, do you want to have a look round the deck or do you want to go in the town?
0:32:07 > 0:32:13No, I want to sit down for a little while, have a rest, and close my eyes
0:32:13 > 0:32:16and be quiet for a while,
0:32:16 > 0:32:21and take my blood pressure tablets.
0:32:21 > 0:32:25Erm, and go out later, when I've had a rest.
0:32:31 > 0:32:39I was filled with doubts about coming, right up to the last moment, and I thought, "The ship will sink,"
0:32:39 > 0:32:41or, "Oh, think about the Titanic,"
0:32:41 > 0:32:43you know.
0:32:43 > 0:32:47All those worries disappear once you get here, you see.
0:32:47 > 0:32:52You find that it's like a really lovely hotel to live in.
0:32:52 > 0:32:57- There's an announcement...- 'Ladies and gentlemen, as you can see,
0:32:57 > 0:33:00'one o'clock has come and gone, and we're still here.
0:33:00 > 0:33:05'I do apologise for this interruption to our normal schedule,
0:33:05 > 0:33:09'but a last-minute change in the regulations at Split harbour
0:33:09 > 0:33:13'regarding refuelling has forced this move upon us.
0:33:13 > 0:33:17'At the moment we're making arrangements to return the guests
0:33:17 > 0:33:21'that are ashore back to join us here for lunch.
0:33:21 > 0:33:26'And we'll also be making alternative arrangements for your afternoon ashore.
0:33:26 > 0:33:29'Or rather, how to get you ashore.'
0:33:29 > 0:33:31I think you like being trapped here.
0:33:31 > 0:33:34Well, who wouldn't like being trapped here?
0:33:34 > 0:33:37Look at this, I'm trapped here.
0:33:38 > 0:33:42Ooh, lovely!
0:33:42 > 0:33:44But don't you want to see Split?
0:33:44 > 0:33:46I do want to see...Slick?
0:33:46 > 0:33:48- Split!- Plit?!
0:33:51 > 0:33:54Whatever it's called, it looks lovely.
0:33:59 > 0:34:02Do you think being a performer was in your genes?
0:34:02 > 0:34:06I do, really. My mother was a performer,
0:34:06 > 0:34:11in that she, erm... was a very, very good piano player.
0:34:11 > 0:34:14But I couldn't ever see her doing a...
0:34:14 > 0:34:17But not that I knew her, I didn't know her anyway.
0:34:17 > 0:34:19I didn't know her.
0:34:19 > 0:34:21Didn't know her.
0:34:21 > 0:34:23Really. Except I do know her.
0:34:25 > 0:34:27All the time I know her, really.
0:34:29 > 0:34:33Couldn't have done without her, although she wasn't there, you see?
0:34:41 > 0:34:45Particularly as I had been...
0:34:45 > 0:34:50isolated and a lonely child,
0:34:50 > 0:34:55I'm delighted to say, I did have two children, yes.
0:34:55 > 0:34:59Because I needed a family, very badly.
0:34:59 > 0:35:04The whole point of the Royle Family is that they love each other.
0:35:04 > 0:35:08They hang together as a family, and that's the important thing.
0:35:08 > 0:35:11And that's what
0:35:11 > 0:35:14we don't do enough of, at the moment, I think.
0:35:14 > 0:35:17Was it nice to be part of that family?
0:35:17 > 0:35:19Oh, it certainly was.
0:35:21 > 0:35:27You did...you did feel part of a family.
0:35:27 > 0:35:29Is that an almond biscuit?
0:35:29 > 0:35:32Ooh, I like almond biscuits.
0:35:39 > 0:35:41It is an almond biscuit.
0:35:43 > 0:35:49'All I want to do is just sit and do nothing, nothing, nothing.
0:35:49 > 0:35:52'Just stare into space.
0:35:52 > 0:35:57'Not even read a book, or anything, you know?
0:35:57 > 0:36:02'Because I have been busy, it makes me tired to think of it, really.
0:36:02 > 0:36:05'All the work.
0:36:05 > 0:36:07'Oh, God, all the work!'
0:36:18 > 0:36:21We're going to be kidnapped.
0:36:21 > 0:36:23Taken away in that train.
0:36:26 > 0:36:28It's really weird.
0:36:28 > 0:36:31Menacing, menacing.
0:36:31 > 0:36:33Very menacing.
0:36:34 > 0:36:39Just feel that you'll never really get away from here.
0:36:41 > 0:36:45We're in strange Kafka... we're in Kafka country now.
0:36:47 > 0:36:49A little bit of Kafka.
0:36:51 > 0:36:52Mm.
0:36:56 > 0:36:59I don't know what's going to happen to us now.
0:37:01 > 0:37:04We may turn into beetles.
0:37:05 > 0:37:12And we're going away in that train to be...shredded.
0:37:15 > 0:37:18You never know, do you, what's going to happen?
0:37:21 > 0:37:24I think I'll just go and find a lavatory.
0:37:26 > 0:37:28'Good morning, ladies and gentlemen.
0:37:28 > 0:37:34'At half past ten this morning, the ship's company will be carrying out a practice drill.
0:37:34 > 0:37:39'Now this does not involve you at all...'
0:37:41 > 0:37:42What's that noise?
0:37:42 > 0:37:45D'you think it's water rushing in?
0:37:45 > 0:37:47Yes.
0:37:52 > 0:37:54Should we tell somebody?
0:38:14 > 0:38:16I can't get out.
0:38:16 > 0:38:18I can't get out.
0:38:22 > 0:38:23It's shut.
0:38:23 > 0:38:27It's moments like this that makes you worry about coming on a cruise.
0:38:27 > 0:38:31I think we're in a forbidden area. Look.
0:38:31 > 0:38:35- Crew only.- Oh, dear.
0:38:35 > 0:38:39ALARM SOUNDS
0:38:39 > 0:38:42Huh!
0:38:42 > 0:38:45- Oh!- 'Floor exercise, floor exercise...'
0:38:45 > 0:38:48Oh, I'm nervous, I'm a nervous type, you know.
0:38:49 > 0:38:56'..emergency stations. Floor exercise, ship's company to general emergency stations.'
0:38:56 > 0:39:00Ooh! Don't they look marvellous?
0:39:03 > 0:39:05They're fantastic, aren't they?
0:39:13 > 0:39:15- Hello!- How are you?
0:39:15 > 0:39:20- Ha-ha-ha-ha! You all look very posh there in your bright orange.- Yes.
0:39:20 > 0:39:23ALARM SOUNDS
0:39:28 > 0:39:30I like the design of this life jacket.
0:39:30 > 0:39:34It's far better than the ones we used to call the Mae West,
0:39:34 > 0:39:39which was a great big draping thing, and you had to adjust lots of things.
0:39:39 > 0:39:45There's a simplicity about that that I think is jolly good.
0:39:45 > 0:39:50I would believe it could hold you up, but I hope to God it never has to.
0:39:50 > 0:39:54Do people who are 86 think about how they're going to go?
0:39:54 > 0:39:57Yes, they do.
0:39:57 > 0:39:59All the time, every day.
0:40:01 > 0:40:02They do.
0:40:07 > 0:40:13And when people they know go, they think, "What was it like?"
0:40:13 > 0:40:20- Don't set me off, you'll spoil my dinner, thinking about it.- Really?
0:40:20 > 0:40:22No! Not really.
0:40:22 > 0:40:24I mean, the whole thing is...
0:40:24 > 0:40:28the whole thing... the whole silly thing is...
0:40:29 > 0:40:31..I might live longer than you!
0:40:33 > 0:40:35You see, you don't know.
0:40:37 > 0:40:39That's the funny thing.
0:41:17 > 0:41:20Hello! How are you today?
0:41:20 > 0:41:21- Tired.- Tired?
0:41:21 > 0:41:27- You been busy?- Yes, I have, my feet could do with a bit of loving care.
0:41:27 > 0:41:31A bit of TLC, do you want to come through?
0:41:31 > 0:41:33Am I allowed to go to sleep?
0:41:33 > 0:41:36You can if you want to, you carry on.
0:41:38 > 0:41:40Oh, my goodness!
0:41:51 > 0:41:57Look, feet and legs don't go as old and wrinkly as your face and neck.
0:41:57 > 0:42:00D'you feel your age, Liz?
0:42:00 > 0:42:02My legs feel my age.
0:42:02 > 0:42:06They don't...work as well.
0:42:09 > 0:42:11My, er, soul...
0:42:11 > 0:42:14and my heart, is still young.
0:42:16 > 0:42:18But it's not bad, not bad.
0:42:18 > 0:42:20Nothing to moan about.
0:42:21 > 0:42:24I'm a lucky girl!
0:42:26 > 0:42:30And perhaps you could have a day off tomorrow.
0:42:30 > 0:42:31And not do it...
0:42:31 > 0:42:34- Don't you think you've got, honestly, enough?- Yeah, I do.
0:42:34 > 0:42:37- How many hours have you got? - About 18.
0:42:37 > 0:42:40- 80?- 18.
0:42:40 > 0:42:42Oh, 18...
0:42:59 > 0:43:01Morning!
0:43:06 > 0:43:09Look there! That's Italy!
0:43:09 > 0:43:14That's nice, we're being brought in by pilot boat, that's good, isn't it?
0:43:14 > 0:43:17That's very good. Anthony.
0:43:17 > 0:43:18And do they call you Antonio?
0:43:21 > 0:43:23- Only when she's in a bad temper.- Oh!
0:43:23 > 0:43:27# Oh! Antonio
0:43:27 > 0:43:30# He's gone away
0:43:30 > 0:43:35# Left me alone-ee-o
0:43:35 > 0:43:39# All on my own-ee-o
0:43:39 > 0:43:46# I'd like to find him with his new sweetheart
0:43:46 > 0:43:54# Then up will go Antonio and his ice cream cart. #
0:43:58 > 0:44:02'It's an old song. My gran would sing it when I was a little girl.
0:44:02 > 0:44:09# I want to meet him with his new sweetheart
0:44:09 > 0:44:17# Then up will go Antonio and his ice cream cart. #
0:44:17 > 0:44:19- Thank you.- You're welcome.
0:44:24 > 0:44:29Suddenly everybody looks Italian. Suddenly!
0:44:33 > 0:44:35They're very attractive.
0:44:35 > 0:44:39They have a more joyful expression than further up the coast.
0:44:41 > 0:44:44Why do you think you never met another husband?
0:44:44 > 0:44:49I never met one free enough to be my companion.
0:44:49 > 0:44:53Not that I would want to be a married one again,
0:44:53 > 0:44:57but to have had the companionship, I'd have liked.
0:44:57 > 0:44:58But I didn't.
0:45:01 > 0:45:04Thank you very much, thank you.
0:45:08 > 0:45:11Oh, it's a little one.
0:45:11 > 0:45:15It's one of those...it's one of those little ones.
0:45:15 > 0:45:19I like a big one. I should have said latte, shouldn't I?
0:45:19 > 0:45:22Thank you very much, thank you.
0:45:23 > 0:45:28It's all latte. It's all latte.
0:45:28 > 0:45:30There's no coffee in it.
0:45:33 > 0:45:36We haven't got it quite right, have we?
0:45:36 > 0:45:38- We haven't got it right.- No.
0:45:40 > 0:45:42This is what...
0:45:42 > 0:45:44I've got a glass of milk!
0:45:48 > 0:45:50Oh, dear!
0:45:50 > 0:45:52I want a cup of coff... I know.
0:45:56 > 0:45:58Don't you want it?
0:46:14 > 0:46:15Very nice.
0:46:15 > 0:46:18Coffee latte.
0:46:30 > 0:46:33You've always played old ladies, haven't you?
0:46:33 > 0:46:36'I have. The first play I was ever in,
0:46:36 > 0:46:41'I would be about seven or eight years old,
0:46:41 > 0:46:46'and, erm, I was the cook, I was about 55 years old.'
0:46:46 > 0:46:49Little bell.
0:46:49 > 0:46:52'And I never wanted to play anything younger, never.
0:46:52 > 0:46:56'It is me, hiding.
0:46:58 > 0:47:04'I want to hide, I can't... I can't bear people to see me.
0:47:04 > 0:47:07'I can't bear to reveal myself now.'
0:47:09 > 0:47:14- SHOP ASSISTANT TALKS FOREIGN LANGUAGE Oh, oh, oh.- Si.- Yeah.
0:47:15 > 0:47:19- It's a good thing you're an actress. - 'Yeah, it's been lovely.'
0:47:19 > 0:47:21I'm going back to the ship now.
0:47:22 > 0:47:25Take a rest after that.
0:47:26 > 0:47:30'The life I was lucky enough to develop,
0:47:30 > 0:47:35'in acting and theatre and film so on,
0:47:35 > 0:47:41'supplied me with a lot of life and interest and happiness.
0:47:41 > 0:47:44'It's been lovely. It's been a lovely thing to happen.'
0:47:48 > 0:47:50I've finished the hat.
0:47:50 > 0:47:57'If you have any mussels at the restaurant in Venice, this is probably where they come from.'
0:47:57 > 0:48:00You can see the hat from three angles, you know.
0:48:00 > 0:48:01Oh, lovely.
0:48:01 > 0:48:04Lovely, it's like a milliner's thing.
0:48:06 > 0:48:09I enjoy the wardrobe side very much.
0:48:09 > 0:48:14I get great pleasure in wearing a really wretched outfit,
0:48:14 > 0:48:16and an old pair of boots.
0:48:16 > 0:48:18Then I love to go home,
0:48:18 > 0:48:22I'm mad about clothes and I love to dress up.
0:48:22 > 0:48:28I really would love to play an exceedingly glamorous role,
0:48:28 > 0:48:33probably a queen or something really grand, you know?
0:48:37 > 0:48:39Ah!
0:48:39 > 0:48:42What is that?
0:48:42 > 0:48:44That's charcoal.
0:48:53 > 0:48:57The whole idea of Venice is thrilling.
0:48:58 > 0:49:00You'll get the best view, come with me.
0:49:00 > 0:49:05- And you'll get a bit of sunshine as well.- Oh, lovely.
0:49:06 > 0:49:08You've even got some people to talk to there.
0:49:08 > 0:49:12Oh! Isn't it lovely?
0:50:19 > 0:50:21Look at these knots.
0:50:24 > 0:50:29- You realise, if you ring the bell, you have to buy everybody on the ship a drink?- Oh!
0:50:29 > 0:50:31- Everybody?- Everybody!
0:50:31 > 0:50:33I'd be bankrupt, wouldn't I?
0:50:35 > 0:50:37You going ashore?
0:50:37 > 0:50:39- In a minute.- Oh, OK. - We can have a little...
0:50:39 > 0:50:51- Yeah, have a little wander.- Ooh!
0:50:51 > 0:50:54Get this on camera. Go on.
0:50:54 > 0:50:55Get that on camera.
0:50:55 > 0:51:00People will be talking about us again. Have you been to Venice before?
0:51:00 > 0:51:04- No, have you?- No, first time, Barbara has been before, and she tells me
0:51:04 > 0:51:08it's an absolute magical place. You don't want to drop down.
0:51:08 > 0:51:10I don't want to drop down there,
0:51:10 > 0:51:13I'm not thinking of dropping down there actually!
0:51:13 > 0:51:16D'you want me to help you down the stairs, Liz?
0:51:16 > 0:51:20I don't think so, because there's a rail. If there's a rail, that's fine.
0:51:23 > 0:51:27'..which is called, in Venetian language...
0:51:29 > 0:51:35'The canals in Venice are deep no more than five, six metres.'
0:51:40 > 0:51:44Oh, look at the splendid facade.
0:51:50 > 0:51:55- Thank you, no.- We'll get you over here and on to a chair, OK?
0:51:55 > 0:51:57- Yeah.- Here's the party, so we're OK.
0:51:57 > 0:51:59All right? Let's get you sat down.
0:52:09 > 0:52:12Glad you came?
0:52:12 > 0:52:14Yeah.
0:52:16 > 0:52:18Sort of.
0:52:18 > 0:52:20Sort of.
0:52:27 > 0:52:30I'm so cross with myself because I can't remember the name
0:52:30 > 0:52:33of the character you played in the Vicar of Dibley.
0:52:33 > 0:52:34What was she called?
0:52:34 > 0:52:37- Letitia.- It's lovely, it's lovely.
0:52:37 > 0:52:39A marvellous name.
0:52:39 > 0:52:41Letitia Cropley.
0:52:43 > 0:52:45Maker of cakes.
0:52:45 > 0:52:50I didn't like it quite so much after the girl got married. I didn't like it quite so much after that.
0:52:50 > 0:52:52I didn't watch it after that,
0:52:52 > 0:52:55cos I was upset because I'd been killed off.
0:52:55 > 0:52:58- Yes, of course, yes. - I was fed up for being killed off.
0:52:58 > 0:53:02- Ah, dear!- I died of a heart attack.
0:53:02 > 0:53:05I'm not surprised after your cooking!
0:53:05 > 0:53:08The last five jobs I've done, I've been killed off.
0:53:08 > 0:53:12Does it give you a strange feeling to be killed off in a part?
0:53:12 > 0:53:15- I'm used to it now.- But you don't ever really get used to it, do you?
0:53:15 > 0:53:19Sometimes I'm glad to go, get off! SHE CHUCKLES
0:53:34 > 0:53:36I can't see any canals.
0:53:36 > 0:53:38You'll see them from the gondola.
0:53:38 > 0:53:40Where are they?
0:53:44 > 0:53:47I'm just deciding whether to get in a gondola or not.
0:53:47 > 0:53:51- It's a nice experience.- Is it?- Yeah.
0:53:56 > 0:53:58Will you put your hat on?
0:54:04 > 0:54:11- Got his hat on. Has he got his hat on?- Yes. Looks lovely.
0:54:31 > 0:54:34If you weren't an actress, what do you think you would have been?
0:54:34 > 0:54:40'I'd like to have had a glorious singing voice and been a famous opera singer, really.'
0:54:49 > 0:54:53- It's high tide!- High tide? - High tide. So it's difficult.
0:55:05 > 0:55:11'I think to have a glorious singing voice must be one of the nicest things to have.
0:55:11 > 0:55:16'But if you ain't got it, you ain't got it, have you?'
0:55:19 > 0:55:22- Wait a moment...- I'm just getting the shot, I'm not...
0:55:22 > 0:55:25- Let me get my voice ready.- Yeah. - SHE CLEARS HER THROAT
0:55:27 > 0:55:32# O solo mio!
0:55:32 > 0:55:36# Oh, here am I
0:55:36 > 0:55:41# I am in Venice
0:55:41 > 0:55:44# Near Bridge of Sigh
0:55:44 > 0:55:49# Oh, my, oh, my, oh, my
0:55:49 > 0:55:51# Oh, my, oh, my
0:55:51 > 0:55:57# Oh, my, oh, my! # SHE LAUGHS
0:56:19 > 0:56:23- Hello! I'm back.- Hello! - Here I am!- Did you enjoy it?
0:56:23 > 0:56:25- I had a lovely time, thank you very much.- Did you?
0:56:25 > 0:56:29- It was a jolly good cruise. - Did you swim?
0:56:29 > 0:56:34No, it wasn't a big enough ship. A lot of water.
0:56:34 > 0:56:37Did you find a nice fancy man, a nice sailor?
0:56:37 > 0:56:38They were all married?
0:56:38 > 0:56:43- Oh!- I wasn't able to bring a nice man back for anybody.- Oh!
0:56:43 > 0:56:46So I'll have to go again, especially!
0:56:46 > 0:56:50- Did you have lots of wonderful food? - The food was marvellous.
0:56:50 > 0:56:54- And would you go again?- Oh, I think it makes a lovely holiday.- Yes...
0:56:54 > 0:56:59- But for me, there was rather a lot of water.- Too much water?
0:57:01 > 0:57:03Especially in Venice.
0:57:03 > 0:57:07- It was water, water, everywhere. - Lots of water everywhere.
0:57:07 > 0:57:11- It was, yeah.- It sounds wonderful.
0:57:11 > 0:57:12It was, it was.
0:57:27 > 0:57:32All I want to do really is just sit down!
0:57:32 > 0:57:35Sit on the sofa.
0:57:36 > 0:57:42Nothing is as important as it was, because, you know, like,
0:57:42 > 0:57:45I used to worry if my stockings were laddered, throw them away.
0:57:45 > 0:57:49Now, I don't mind going around with laddered stockings.
0:57:49 > 0:57:53Lots of things you used to worry about when you were younger,
0:57:53 > 0:57:56you think, "Why on earth did I worry about that?"
0:57:56 > 0:57:59It all sorts itself out in the end.
0:58:01 > 0:58:06- Hands up who wants fish and chips on Saturday? - Fish and chips on Saturday.
0:58:06 > 0:58:11Fish and chips on Saturday, yes. How many? 1, 2... Helen, Jerrie...
0:58:14 > 0:58:19One cod and chips for me, please. For Saturday, thank you.
0:58:37 > 0:58:40Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd
0:58:40 > 0:58:43E-mail subtitling@bbc.co.uk