David Beckham Into the Unknown

0:00:03 > 0:00:05So, you're going all this distance?

0:00:05 > 0:00:07Yeah. Quite a bit of it is on bikes.

0:00:10 > 0:00:13So what are you going to do about your hair?

0:00:13 > 0:00:16'After 22 years of playing professional football,

0:00:16 > 0:00:17'I've retired.'

0:00:17 > 0:00:19How about the big sandwiches that we used to get

0:00:19 > 0:00:21for the Champions League?

0:00:21 > 0:00:23'I've loved every minute of playing.

0:00:23 > 0:00:26'I've captained England, and achieved so many of my dreams.'

0:00:26 > 0:00:27Action.

0:00:30 > 0:00:32But now, my world is suddenly very different.

0:00:42 > 0:00:44'So I'm going on a very different adventure.

0:00:44 > 0:00:46'Just me and three of my mates.'

0:00:49 > 0:00:51'I'm travelling in Brazil, a country I love,

0:00:51 > 0:00:54'but have never been able to explore.'

0:00:54 > 0:00:55We're fishing for lunch.

0:00:55 > 0:00:57Use your biceps!

0:00:57 > 0:00:59Seriously, I've got a sweat on.

0:00:59 > 0:01:02'And I'd like you to come with me.'

0:01:02 > 0:01:03Morning.

0:01:03 > 0:01:05'As I go deep into the Amazon jungle...'

0:01:05 > 0:01:08Don't make me laugh, I can't get the giggles.

0:01:08 > 0:01:10'And see the world in a whole new way.'

0:01:26 > 0:01:30A few months back I was playing five-a-side in a park,

0:01:30 > 0:01:34the only game that I've actually played since I retired.

0:01:34 > 0:01:37I didn't have my security with me at the time.

0:01:39 > 0:01:42And it all of a sudden dawned on me that

0:01:42 > 0:01:45I haven't walked through a park for probably...

0:01:45 > 0:01:5115, 20 years without being recognised or without being chased,

0:01:51 > 0:01:53or without being photographed.

0:01:53 > 0:01:58It made me realise that I'm missing out on...on so much.

0:01:58 > 0:01:59With the kids...

0:01:59 > 0:02:01- DOORBELL RINGS - Sorry, one minute.

0:02:04 > 0:02:06- Ten minutes.- Yeah.

0:02:06 > 0:02:07All right.

0:02:07 > 0:02:09All right, let me just finish this off.

0:02:15 > 0:02:19# When everything is going down

0:02:19 > 0:02:22# Nothing seems to feel the same. #

0:02:22 > 0:02:24'For the first time, I'm not focused on playing football.'

0:02:24 > 0:02:26Hey.

0:02:26 > 0:02:28- You ready for this?- I'm excited.

0:02:28 > 0:02:31'I can set my own schedule and try new things.'

0:02:31 > 0:02:34Thank you. Shut the door behind you.

0:02:34 > 0:02:36It's a bit cold, isn't it?

0:02:36 > 0:02:38'So I'm going to do a trip to the Amazon.

0:02:38 > 0:02:42'Experience life as remote and as simple as I can.

0:02:42 > 0:02:46'I've never done anything like this before and I'm excited.'

0:02:46 > 0:02:48Wait, do I get one?

0:02:48 > 0:02:51'My friend Anthony's travelled all over Brazil

0:02:51 > 0:02:53'so he's going to lead the trip, and direct the film.'

0:02:53 > 0:02:55Are you ready for this, sir?

0:02:55 > 0:02:58Yeah, the fact that I have triple duty, you know?

0:02:58 > 0:03:01- Ah.- It's like I've got to...I've got to watch where I'm stepping

0:03:01 > 0:03:02- and hold the camera.- Ah.

0:03:02 > 0:03:05And make sure I'm getting your right side, you know?

0:03:05 > 0:03:09'There's Derek, a mate of mine from LA.'

0:03:09 > 0:03:11- You don't know much, Derek, right?- No.

0:03:11 > 0:03:13- You don't know much about what we're doing?- No.

0:03:13 > 0:03:15'But, he does know everything about bikes,

0:03:15 > 0:03:18'so if anything goes wrong he'll be there.'

0:03:18 > 0:03:19Wait, we're camping?

0:03:19 > 0:03:21THEY LAUGH

0:03:21 > 0:03:22Look at that.

0:03:22 > 0:03:25'This is Davva, my oldest and best friend.'

0:03:25 > 0:03:26That's an anaconda.

0:03:26 > 0:03:29'He doesn't like snakes, he doesn't ride bikes.'

0:03:29 > 0:03:32Seriously, if that's coming... You could outrun that, surely.

0:03:32 > 0:03:35'I really can't wait to see how he copes with this.

0:03:35 > 0:03:39'They're the three people I want to go on this crazy adventure with

0:03:39 > 0:03:41'because I know they'll have my back.'

0:03:41 > 0:03:44- I used to be a health-conscious footballer.- Mm.

0:03:46 > 0:03:49Any time away from my children and my family, it's...

0:03:49 > 0:03:51it's always going to be painful for me,

0:03:51 > 0:03:55- but it's the same with you guys, it's the same with you.- Mm.

0:03:55 > 0:03:57Obviously leaving my little boy.

0:03:57 > 0:03:59- He looks just like you, man. - He's lucky, eh?

0:03:59 > 0:04:01He's gorgeous.

0:04:01 > 0:04:03I just...I'm leaving just my dog, that's it.

0:04:03 > 0:04:04How was Dee?

0:04:04 > 0:04:07She was like, "You're going where with who? To do what?

0:04:07 > 0:04:10"No...no, dog, no."

0:04:10 > 0:04:12Yeah, I had a similar conversation...

0:04:12 > 0:04:15"You're going where to find yourself?

0:04:18 > 0:04:20"You're going where to find yourself?

0:04:21 > 0:04:23"Why can't you find yourself at home?"

0:04:23 > 0:04:26- Brooklyn!- Yeah.

0:04:26 > 0:04:28- Can you bring that bag down for Daddy?- Yeah.

0:04:28 > 0:04:30It's over there.

0:04:30 > 0:04:32Which vaccinations did you get?

0:04:32 > 0:04:33I've had every vaccination possible.

0:04:33 > 0:04:34My God.

0:04:34 > 0:04:37I had one a week for the last six weeks.

0:04:38 > 0:04:40'Anthony's not told me too much about the trip.'

0:04:40 > 0:04:42Hmm, a map.

0:04:42 > 0:04:45'All I know is that we're starting in Rio

0:04:45 > 0:04:48'and we're going to end up staying with a tribe deep in the rainforest.

0:04:48 > 0:04:51'Everything in between is a bit of a mystery.'

0:04:51 > 0:04:53Wow. That is a long way.

0:04:53 > 0:04:55It's a long way.

0:04:55 > 0:04:57I think you'll be surprised at how many people

0:04:57 > 0:04:58know exactly who you are.

0:04:58 > 0:05:02If I do get recognised by a tribe in Brazil,

0:05:02 > 0:05:05- then I'd be really honoured. - Mm-hmm.

0:05:05 > 0:05:07But I don't think it's going to happen.

0:05:08 > 0:05:10The humidity will be the thing.

0:05:10 > 0:05:13When you're in somewhere like the Amazon,

0:05:13 > 0:05:15one minute it could be boiling hot

0:05:15 > 0:05:18and then the next minute it would be, you know, torrential rain.

0:05:18 > 0:05:20So what are you going to do about your hair?

0:05:20 > 0:05:22Cos, you know, humidity...

0:05:22 > 0:05:23Don't laugh at your mum.

0:05:23 > 0:05:26I'm telling you, I can't even go to humid countries cos of my hair.

0:05:26 > 0:05:28What are you going to do?

0:05:28 > 0:05:30Well, I'm going to wear a hat.

0:05:30 > 0:05:33Right, you should wear a hat through the whole thing.

0:05:33 > 0:05:35What are you going to eat?

0:05:35 > 0:05:36Um, whatever we catch.

0:05:36 > 0:05:38- Are you going to seriously be catching food?- With our bare hands.

0:05:38 > 0:05:42Are you going to really have to like hunt for your own food?

0:05:42 > 0:05:45Yeah, we're going to do a bit of everything.

0:05:45 > 0:05:47Who's going to cook here once David's gone?

0:05:47 > 0:05:49Listen, I have a reputation for being completely hopeless at home

0:05:49 > 0:05:52but let me tell you I'm actually not that bad.

0:05:52 > 0:05:54But we'll be fine.

0:05:54 > 0:05:57What do you think? You think I'm going to struggle with anything?

0:05:57 > 0:05:58- Spiders.- Why?

0:05:58 > 0:06:01- Spiders and snakes.- I'm always brave.

0:06:01 > 0:06:03I'm not so sure, you know.

0:06:03 > 0:06:04What?

0:06:06 > 0:06:08Are you playing football with me?

0:06:08 > 0:06:09Yeah.

0:06:11 > 0:06:14- There's one thing I always say to you...- Yeah.

0:06:14 > 0:06:15..when I'm going away.

0:06:15 > 0:06:17"Be the big boy and look after your mum and brothers."

0:06:17 > 0:06:20- You're the oldest man in the house. - Yeah.

0:06:20 > 0:06:23So that means you've got to look after your sister,

0:06:23 > 0:06:25after your mum, after your brothers...

0:06:25 > 0:06:29You've got to do all the cooking, yeah?

0:06:29 > 0:06:30Are you going to miss me?

0:06:31 > 0:06:33- Maybe.- Maybe?!

0:06:33 > 0:06:34Yes.

0:06:37 > 0:06:39You'll miss me, I know you will.

0:06:39 > 0:06:41We should so do this when I'm older though, go on bikes.

0:06:41 > 0:06:44- We can. Just me and you? - Yeah.

0:06:44 > 0:06:45- Well, we'll do that.- OK.

0:06:45 > 0:06:49But what's more important than going to these places at your age?

0:06:49 > 0:06:51- School.- School, exactly.

0:06:51 > 0:06:53- Football.- Football.

0:06:54 > 0:06:56And what's the most important thing,

0:06:56 > 0:06:59out of any of those, for you and your brothers not to do?

0:06:59 > 0:07:01Um...don't play football in the house.

0:07:01 > 0:07:05Apart from not playing football in the house. Don't fight.

0:07:05 > 0:07:06Yeah.

0:07:06 > 0:07:08- OK, good.- That's going to be hard.

0:07:08 > 0:07:09At least you've cleared that one.

0:07:09 > 0:07:12It's going to be hard? It better not be.

0:07:12 > 0:07:13Are those your new shoes?

0:07:13 > 0:07:15Yeah.

0:07:15 > 0:07:16Your mum's going to kill you.

0:07:16 > 0:07:19- She won't have to know.- You know mums know everything, right?

0:07:24 > 0:07:25Thank you.

0:07:28 > 0:07:30'I never like leaving my family,

0:07:30 > 0:07:31'but I must admit it feels great

0:07:31 > 0:07:34'to finally get going on a trip of a lifetime.'

0:07:38 > 0:07:40# A little less conversation a little more action

0:07:42 > 0:07:45# All this aggravation ain't satisfactioning me. #

0:07:45 > 0:07:47We're going to be good in the jungle...

0:07:47 > 0:07:49Can't even put bags on a trolley.

0:07:51 > 0:07:53Can you sign that, please?

0:07:54 > 0:07:56# Satisfy me, baby

0:07:56 > 0:07:58# Baby, satisfy me

0:07:58 > 0:08:01# Satisfy me, baby

0:08:01 > 0:08:03# Satisfy me

0:08:03 > 0:08:05# Satisfy me, baby

0:08:05 > 0:08:07# Satisfy me

0:08:07 > 0:08:08# Satisfy me, baby. #

0:08:09 > 0:08:13'And now, I need a good rest. Tomorrow the adventure begins.'

0:08:22 > 0:08:25- Wow.- One for each.

0:08:25 > 0:08:29'Anthony introduces us to our bikes and we're finally hitting the road.'

0:08:29 > 0:08:30Drive safe.

0:08:34 > 0:08:37'When I'm wearing a helmet, no-one knows who I am,

0:08:37 > 0:08:40'so I'm free to experience the real Brazil for the first time.'

0:08:40 > 0:08:44MUSIC: "Spread Your Love" by Black Rebel Motorcycle Club

0:08:53 > 0:08:54Can you believe we did it?

0:08:54 > 0:08:56I can't even believe it.

0:09:02 > 0:09:06Riding through Rio, one of the most beautiful cities, is incredible.

0:09:06 > 0:09:09I've been here twice before with Manchester United,

0:09:09 > 0:09:11but on this visit, Anthony's making sure

0:09:11 > 0:09:14I see more than just the hotel and a football stadium.

0:09:16 > 0:09:20Empanada. My favourite place, man.

0:09:20 > 0:09:21We pay for this before we go up?

0:09:21 > 0:09:24So just go to the guy, he'll weigh it, and he'll give you a ticket,

0:09:24 > 0:09:25we pay at the end.

0:09:25 > 0:09:26Thank you.

0:09:30 > 0:09:31How many paps out there?

0:09:31 > 0:09:33There's loads of them there.

0:09:33 > 0:09:35- We should probably go, huh?- Yeah.

0:09:35 > 0:09:37Quite busy out there.

0:09:37 > 0:09:38Hey, how long?

0:09:38 > 0:09:40- Less than five.- Less than five.

0:09:42 > 0:09:43- OK?- Thank you.

0:09:44 > 0:09:46- Hi.- Hey.

0:09:46 > 0:09:49Should we just go? Anthony! We just go, yeah?

0:09:49 > 0:09:50- We can just go?- We just go, yeah.

0:09:52 > 0:09:55I've always got time for the fans, I used to be one myself.

0:09:55 > 0:09:59But we've only got a day here, and I want to see Vidigal,

0:09:59 > 0:10:02one of the hillside favelas that looks out over Rio.

0:10:11 > 0:10:12So you know this was a warzone

0:10:12 > 0:10:15and there's a favela just on the other side of the mountain

0:10:15 > 0:10:19- called Rocinha, and they were having a battle for 20, 30 years.- Really?

0:10:19 > 0:10:20With the World Cup coming

0:10:20 > 0:10:23the government's been forced to clean up all the activity here.

0:10:23 > 0:10:25You can see it's safe enough that we can come here.

0:10:25 > 0:10:28You'd never...you would never be able to come here... Even two years ago.

0:10:28 > 0:10:29- Really?- No way.

0:10:33 > 0:10:36- Unbelievable, huh?- Unbelievable.

0:10:36 > 0:10:41To see this, we've gone from the craziness of down there

0:10:41 > 0:10:44and within ten minutes we're here.

0:10:45 > 0:10:47The favela's built in a neighbourhood

0:10:47 > 0:10:49where you couldn't really build houses.

0:10:49 > 0:10:51It was basically the poorest people came up here

0:10:51 > 0:10:53and just did what they could.

0:10:53 > 0:10:57What's ironic is they have the best views in all of Brazil.

0:10:57 > 0:11:00I'd love to be here when a Brazilian game's going on.

0:11:01 > 0:11:03The atmosphere must be unbelievable.

0:11:05 > 0:11:06Chatting with the locals,

0:11:06 > 0:11:09it's obvious life in the favela is changing.

0:11:19 > 0:11:22Very good.

0:11:22 > 0:11:24Hey! Rio de Janeiro!

0:11:24 > 0:11:27- You're still playing? - Thank you. No, I'm finished.

0:11:27 > 0:11:28- You're finished?- Yeah, I'm too old.

0:11:28 > 0:11:31You could play for Flamengo and get a little spot up here.

0:11:31 > 0:11:33You want to mention that to Victoria?

0:11:33 > 0:11:35Yeah, got you, don't worry!

0:12:00 > 0:12:03There's a game going on down there.

0:12:03 > 0:12:05You want to do it? Come on.

0:12:05 > 0:12:08Do you know how hard it is, by the way, on the sand?

0:12:08 > 0:12:10Against Brazilians, as well.

0:12:10 > 0:12:12If you love football like I do,

0:12:12 > 0:12:15it's hard to pass a kick about without wanting to join in.

0:12:15 > 0:12:18- Come to play?- Yeah, it's OK? - Yeah, of course.- Sure?

0:12:18 > 0:12:20Yeah, no problem.

0:12:20 > 0:12:24'Football used to be banned on the beaches in Rio, but this is Brazil,

0:12:24 > 0:12:27'so they just invented a new way to play, using the volleyball courts.'

0:12:27 > 0:12:28How are you?

0:12:31 > 0:12:33OK?

0:12:34 > 0:12:35Oh, wait, yes.

0:12:39 > 0:12:40Ah, little drop shot.

0:12:42 > 0:12:43Hey!

0:12:45 > 0:12:47- Yeah?- Yeah, yeah.- OK.

0:12:47 > 0:12:49Hold on, hold on, hold on.

0:12:56 > 0:12:57'I love Brazilian football.

0:12:57 > 0:13:00'I've not met one Brazilian that I've never loved playing with,

0:13:00 > 0:13:02'I've never loved being around.'

0:13:02 > 0:13:04- Davva, have you touched it yet? - Give me an overhead.

0:13:04 > 0:13:07'Their style of play, their passion, their happiness...'

0:13:07 > 0:13:09it's the culture of the people.

0:13:10 > 0:13:13Oh, oh!

0:13:13 > 0:13:14Nice, Derek.

0:13:14 > 0:13:17Doesn't matter where they play, whether it's on the beach,

0:13:17 > 0:13:20whether it's in the park, whether it's in a World Cup final,

0:13:20 > 0:13:22they treat each game the same.

0:13:22 > 0:13:26They want to win but they play with happiness and fun and enjoyment.

0:13:26 > 0:13:30There's not many countries that have that.

0:13:30 > 0:13:32- You play well, huh?- Yeah, not bad.

0:13:41 > 0:13:43- OK, thank you.- Beer?

0:13:43 > 0:13:44- Beer, beer.- Yeah.

0:13:46 > 0:13:47- Yes.- Yeah.- Yes.

0:13:49 > 0:13:50I think so.

0:13:50 > 0:13:52It still...it still amazes me how they recognise me.

0:13:52 > 0:13:54It really does, it really does.

0:13:54 > 0:13:57- It means a lot when they...when they do.- It's the neck tattoo.

0:13:57 > 0:13:59- And they told me I had good technique.- They did?

0:13:59 > 0:14:00So I'm quite happy with that.

0:14:00 > 0:14:02- Thank you.- No, thank you.

0:14:11 > 0:14:14# My life, my life, my life, my life in the sunshine. #

0:14:14 > 0:14:16Picture, picture, please.

0:14:16 > 0:14:18Yeah. OK.

0:14:18 > 0:14:21# Everybody loves the sunshine

0:14:25 > 0:14:28# Sunshine, sunshine... #

0:14:28 > 0:14:30Yesterday was just...

0:14:30 > 0:14:32I loved every part of it, you know?

0:14:32 > 0:14:38Because when I came to Rio ten years ago with Manchester United,

0:14:38 > 0:14:40I really wanted to play foot-volleyball,

0:14:40 > 0:14:43but I kind of never had the confidence.

0:14:43 > 0:14:46And I actually felt embarrassed to walk up

0:14:46 > 0:14:49and to go and ask if I could join in.

0:14:49 > 0:14:51Why was that?

0:14:51 > 0:14:54Um, an Englishman coming and walking onto the beach

0:14:54 > 0:14:57and asking to play...

0:14:57 > 0:15:03Kind of...kind of nerve-racking, so I...I never asked,

0:15:03 > 0:15:05and I always regretted it.

0:15:06 > 0:15:08Uh!

0:15:09 > 0:15:12'I've already done one thing I've shied away from before.

0:15:12 > 0:15:14'And as we head to the jungle,

0:15:14 > 0:15:18'I'm wondering what other new experiences are coming our way.

0:15:18 > 0:15:20'I've no idea what to expect - but I can't wait.'

0:15:25 > 0:15:28We're flying to Manaus, the gateway to the Amazon rainforest.

0:15:30 > 0:15:32And as we arrive, it's living up to its name.

0:15:41 > 0:15:43Welcome to Manaus.

0:15:43 > 0:15:46RAIN SPLASHES

0:15:48 > 0:15:49Wow.

0:15:52 > 0:15:54How are you feeling?

0:15:54 > 0:15:56I mean, you hear that rain and you know it's different.

0:15:56 > 0:15:57Yeah.

0:16:04 > 0:16:08Do you always, um, put photos out whenever you're away?

0:16:08 > 0:16:09Always.

0:16:11 > 0:16:12It helps me, seeing them.

0:16:22 > 0:16:23What is that?

0:16:23 > 0:16:27Um, letters from the kids, that, um...

0:16:27 > 0:16:31they've all put a note in my bag to surprise me when I got here.

0:16:34 > 0:16:37"Dear Daddy, I hope you do not get eaten by a hippo.

0:16:37 > 0:16:40"I miss you already. Lots of love, Romeo."

0:16:42 > 0:16:46"See you later. Love...love, Harper."

0:16:47 > 0:16:49"I love you."

0:16:52 > 0:16:54"Be safe. Love, Cruz."

0:16:57 > 0:16:58Nice surprise.

0:17:02 > 0:17:03Makes me miss them.

0:17:09 > 0:17:12I'm ready to get out of a hotel and into a hammock

0:17:12 > 0:17:14and to experience...

0:17:16 > 0:17:18..you know, life in the Amazon and to...

0:17:21 > 0:17:26..go into something that is so out of my comfort zone.

0:17:28 > 0:17:32- But...- Why? Other than just being away.

0:17:32 > 0:17:34There's always been a reason why I've been away.

0:17:34 > 0:17:38I've always been told to be somewhere at a certain time

0:17:38 > 0:17:43and there's always a real reason behind me being in a place.

0:17:43 > 0:17:45As much as I've enjoyed it and I've loved it

0:17:45 > 0:17:48and it's been an amazing experience, you know,

0:17:48 > 0:17:51that's Manchester United's choice, or Real Madrid's choice,

0:17:51 > 0:17:53or the Galaxy's choice.

0:17:53 > 0:17:59Whereas I'm here in Manaus in Brazil and heading to the Amazon.

0:17:59 > 0:18:01It's my choice.

0:18:05 > 0:18:07Now, get out of my room. I'm going to bed.

0:18:07 > 0:18:09HE LAUGHS

0:18:09 > 0:18:10OK.

0:18:14 > 0:18:16When in doubt, gas it, all right?

0:18:16 > 0:18:18Also when you're turning,

0:18:18 > 0:18:22if you're turning to the left push on your right peg.

0:18:22 > 0:18:26'The time's come to get on our bikes for our first long ride.

0:18:26 > 0:18:28'We'll be making our way through the city

0:18:28 > 0:18:30'and heading to the edge of the jungle.'

0:18:30 > 0:18:32- It's got air conditioning. - Did you see the pedals?

0:18:32 > 0:18:34- Stick of course, yeah?- Yeah.

0:18:34 > 0:18:38'Dave doesn't ride motorbikes, so he has to drive the support truck.'

0:18:45 > 0:18:47- It's romantic in here, you know? - Hey.

0:18:47 > 0:18:50I met Dave playing for Man United when I was just a kid.

0:18:50 > 0:18:54He's my closest friend, he's stuck with me through good times and bad.

0:18:54 > 0:18:56I can't wait to hit the road,

0:18:56 > 0:18:58but first we need to get this old truck going.

0:18:58 > 0:19:00- Anthony!- Yeah.

0:19:00 > 0:19:03Is there a special way to start this? It won't start.

0:19:03 > 0:19:07- Do you press these buttons and things?- Let's have a look.

0:19:08 > 0:19:09Put it in first.

0:19:09 > 0:19:10Maybe you have to press this.

0:19:10 > 0:19:11That's a long way to first.

0:19:11 > 0:19:13THEY LAUGH

0:19:17 > 0:19:18That's a sign.

0:19:18 > 0:19:20We'll see you there.

0:19:20 > 0:19:21The sign is Heathrow.

0:19:21 > 0:19:22You've got AAA?

0:19:23 > 0:19:25ENGINE ROARS

0:19:27 > 0:19:29- What did you do? - That's the starter button.

0:19:29 > 0:19:31It's got a start button, just like the Bentley?

0:19:35 > 0:19:38What side of the road do you drive on?

0:19:38 > 0:19:40Just make sure you're always in the middle.

0:19:48 > 0:19:52'England open their World Cup campaign here in Manaus.'

0:19:52 > 0:19:54David, to the stadium?

0:19:55 > 0:19:59'This brings back memories of my first tournament, France '98.

0:19:59 > 0:20:02'It was going well, but a single moment changed my life.'

0:20:06 > 0:20:08There's nothing bigger and better than the World Cup.

0:20:11 > 0:20:14It can make...well, it can make or break you.

0:20:14 > 0:20:15It almost broke me.

0:20:15 > 0:20:17That year? What happened?

0:20:17 > 0:20:21The sending off, because I flicked out at one player.

0:20:21 > 0:20:23Diego Simeone...

0:20:23 > 0:20:24Yeah.

0:20:24 > 0:20:28Stupidly, I was young, you make silly mistakes, it was a mistake,

0:20:28 > 0:20:33but that's when I went through all the shit that I went through.

0:20:33 > 0:20:38For four years I got abused by the public, by the media,

0:20:38 > 0:20:40but in a way I'm glad it happened

0:20:40 > 0:20:44cos it made me as a player, made me as a person.

0:20:44 > 0:20:45- Made me stronger.- Yeah.

0:20:48 > 0:20:51There's no way Gardner's made it through. Oh, there he is!

0:20:51 > 0:20:54Dun-do-do, dun-do.

0:20:54 > 0:20:57It's impossible to drive. No brakes, no steering.

0:20:57 > 0:21:00To put the windscreen wipers on you have to hit the bottom here.

0:21:00 > 0:21:03Disaster. The brakes don't work.

0:21:03 > 0:21:05- Nice and easy. - Look at the steering wheel, look.

0:21:08 > 0:21:09'There's no time to hang about.

0:21:09 > 0:21:12'Over the next few days, we've got to get 800 miles

0:21:12 > 0:21:13'through the rainforest.

0:21:13 > 0:21:16'We'll use bikes and boats most of the way,

0:21:16 > 0:21:18'but because the tribe live deep in the Amazon,

0:21:18 > 0:21:21'the last leg of the journey will have to be by a small plane.'

0:21:28 > 0:21:31'But today, we're just on the bikes as we take a long ride

0:21:31 > 0:21:34'to the edge of the jungle to meet our guide.'

0:21:45 > 0:21:49It was actually refreshing to be out of the city, to be honest.

0:21:49 > 0:21:51Crossing the bridge was amazing.

0:21:51 > 0:21:53Yeah, that was really cool.

0:21:53 > 0:21:56- Couple of great stretches there, it was just all green.- Yeah.

0:21:56 > 0:21:58What do you think about when you ride?

0:21:58 > 0:22:01I don't really think about anything when I'm riding, that's the...

0:22:01 > 0:22:06that's the great thing, that's the... That's why I ride.

0:22:06 > 0:22:08It's the enjoyment of not thinking about anything

0:22:08 > 0:22:10and not worrying about anything

0:22:10 > 0:22:12and no-one knowing it's you under the helmet.

0:22:14 > 0:22:16Should we go?

0:22:16 > 0:22:17Yeah.

0:22:20 > 0:22:22Somewhere along the way we've lost Dave,

0:22:22 > 0:22:25but we have to get going if we want to get there before dark.

0:22:35 > 0:22:37ENGINE FALTERS

0:22:43 > 0:22:44What's the technical word for it?

0:22:44 > 0:22:46Overheated?

0:22:47 > 0:22:50I don't know where they are, they're obviously not bothered about me.

0:22:50 > 0:22:52Obviously they're really concerned

0:22:52 > 0:22:55because the phones have not stopped ringing, and the radios.

0:23:14 > 0:23:18The sun's going down, but it's still 28 degrees heat.

0:23:21 > 0:23:23We're thirsty and delighted

0:23:23 > 0:23:25to finally find somewhere for a pit stop.

0:23:33 > 0:23:35Beer?

0:23:36 > 0:23:39- Cerveza?- Cerveza?

0:23:39 > 0:23:41Where are we right now, by the way? Huh?

0:23:41 > 0:23:42I have no idea.

0:23:44 > 0:23:45Cheers.

0:23:46 > 0:23:47Cheers.

0:23:49 > 0:23:51So, you think, uh...

0:23:53 > 0:23:55You think this guy knows who you are, right here?

0:23:55 > 0:23:57- No, no clue whatsoever.- Really?

0:23:57 > 0:24:00How great is that? No clue whatsoever.

0:24:00 > 0:24:05You speak English? Parla anglais? Parla anglais? No?

0:24:05 > 0:24:06Do you know who he is?

0:24:06 > 0:24:07No?

0:24:19 > 0:24:21We're artists? How does that feel?

0:24:21 > 0:24:23Is that the only time you've ever...?

0:24:23 > 0:24:24I am so happy, I'm so happy.

0:24:24 > 0:24:27- Seriously, has it ever happened before?- Uh...

0:24:27 > 0:24:29When was the last time that happened?

0:24:29 > 0:24:32Not in China, not in India, not in Africa...not anywhere.

0:24:32 > 0:24:33No.

0:24:33 > 0:24:36- Wow. Pretty funny. - Amazing. I love it.

0:24:36 > 0:24:38It's only day two.

0:24:38 > 0:24:39- Cheers.- Cheers.

0:24:47 > 0:24:50How long would it take if we went all the way like this?

0:24:51 > 0:24:53I think it could be a long night.

0:24:58 > 0:25:02It gets dark really quick around here and we've got to push on.

0:25:06 > 0:25:10It's a long, tricky ride up a dirt track to where we're staying,

0:25:10 > 0:25:13and I've never ridden on anything like this before.

0:25:15 > 0:25:17I so nearly went down so many times.

0:25:17 > 0:25:19Oh, my God! How was that?

0:25:22 > 0:25:24I almost broke my ass like six times!

0:25:27 > 0:25:29Push it up against it. Got it?

0:25:29 > 0:25:31- Derek, get over there.- You want to get into there or what?

0:25:31 > 0:25:34- Are you all right?- You all right? - It's too fun to watch!

0:25:34 > 0:25:36- Food looks great, by the way. - Who's got the beer?

0:25:36 > 0:25:38All right, how you doing, man?

0:25:38 > 0:25:41Just about in one piece, we meet our guide Conrado.

0:25:41 > 0:25:42He's spent his life in the jungle

0:25:42 > 0:25:44and we're hoping he's going to keep us alive.

0:25:44 > 0:25:46Thanks, man, I appreciate that, you forgot to tell us

0:25:46 > 0:25:48it was a dirt road for the last five miles.

0:25:48 > 0:25:50- OK, I tried to explain it but... rain, man.- Yeah?

0:25:50 > 0:25:52Don't worry, he doesn't always listen.

0:25:52 > 0:25:55That's a good...that's a full day riding right there.

0:25:55 > 0:25:58It's a great...great day of riding.

0:25:58 > 0:26:00Do you know, we can't show Victoria this bit,

0:26:00 > 0:26:03she thinks we was catching our food and eating it.

0:26:03 > 0:26:04I've got to keep to that.

0:26:04 > 0:26:08So, where...where are we right now?

0:26:08 > 0:26:11And why are we in this particular part?

0:26:11 > 0:26:14Well, I should ask you first what you come to do here, you know,

0:26:14 > 0:26:16you should be like sitting round a five-star hotel.

0:26:16 > 0:26:18- We knew that if we come here there's...- Nobody knows you.

0:26:18 > 0:26:20- No, no, no, no. - Not going to be any...

0:26:20 > 0:26:23Nobody knows me and we...we get left alone, which is good.

0:26:23 > 0:26:26Yes. This community here is called Angeline

0:26:26 > 0:26:29and we only have about 15 families, 20 families.

0:26:29 > 0:26:31Here people they...they survive.

0:26:31 > 0:26:34They live to live, they don't live to get rich

0:26:34 > 0:26:36because here there is no supermarket.

0:26:36 > 0:26:38What you seen in jungle, this is their supermarket,

0:26:38 > 0:26:41and whatever they can find, that's what they kill.

0:26:41 > 0:26:44So, um, the jaguars, there's a lot of them around?

0:26:44 > 0:26:46Yeah, there is quite a few around here.

0:26:46 > 0:26:48This is their home and there is a... there is a law

0:26:48 > 0:26:52that we always mean to follow in the jungle

0:26:52 > 0:26:55which means leave me alone, I leave you alone.

0:26:55 > 0:26:59Tell me about... What's our biggest threat here?

0:26:59 > 0:27:01Is it jaguar, is it the spiders, is it...?

0:27:01 > 0:27:04The most dangerous thing can be a snake.

0:27:04 > 0:27:05Mm.

0:27:05 > 0:27:07Because we have all kind of different snakes.

0:27:07 > 0:27:10We have different vipers, we have different bushmasters.

0:27:10 > 0:27:12How big are they, bushmasters?

0:27:12 > 0:27:15The biggest one's just like about two...two metres,

0:27:15 > 0:27:17and then we have the fer-de-lance,

0:27:17 > 0:27:20and this one is more aggressive because he always like to bite you.

0:27:20 > 0:27:21Stop it!

0:27:21 > 0:27:24Will they...will they be out there?

0:27:24 > 0:27:25They don't kill you.

0:27:25 > 0:27:28It's like this... No risk, no fun, you know, so...

0:27:28 > 0:27:29No risk, no fun.

0:27:29 > 0:27:31THEY LAUGH

0:27:34 > 0:27:37We have another friend that's coming but he was in a truck,

0:27:37 > 0:27:39he was driving a truck.

0:27:39 > 0:27:40Oh, he did not arrive yet?

0:27:40 > 0:27:42No. I don't know where he is.

0:27:46 > 0:27:48He's been my friend since I was 14.

0:27:48 > 0:27:50Oh, really? OK.

0:27:50 > 0:27:53So he deserves to be where he is right now.

0:27:56 > 0:27:58Where's your truck?

0:27:58 > 0:28:02We had a bit of, what's the word, mechanical difficulties.

0:28:05 > 0:28:08We broke down and we had to get towed, engine blew up,

0:28:08 > 0:28:12rope snapped, and then we've got lost.

0:28:12 > 0:28:13Where's your mate?

0:28:13 > 0:28:15He's not happy cos his engine just blew up.

0:28:15 > 0:28:17Did you blow up the engine?

0:28:17 > 0:28:18He said I was going too fast.

0:28:18 > 0:28:20THEY LAUGH

0:28:20 > 0:28:24I was doing 35km an hour. 35.

0:28:26 > 0:28:28Did you bring the gear bags?

0:28:28 > 0:28:30The bags, no, the bags are in the truck on the side of the road.

0:28:30 > 0:28:31Couldn't fit in.

0:28:32 > 0:28:34Couldn't fit in where? In the truck?

0:28:34 > 0:28:36Is that all you care about, the bags?

0:28:36 > 0:28:39I've just spent 16 hours getting here and you care about the bags?

0:28:39 > 0:28:43We just had 60 people directing us and everyone was going like that.

0:28:45 > 0:28:46Seriously...

0:28:47 > 0:28:4928 hours travelling in two days.

0:28:51 > 0:28:53It should be called Planes, Trains And Automobiles, this.

0:28:53 > 0:28:55THEY LAUGH

0:28:56 > 0:28:58How long have we been here? Six weeks?

0:29:06 > 0:29:08Right, so it's 12:00.

0:29:09 > 0:29:10- 12:00.- It's later than that.

0:29:10 > 0:29:14We were asleep till somebody walked in with a floodlight.

0:29:14 > 0:29:17I might actually change to Scrabble so at least I look a bit...

0:29:17 > 0:29:19No way, man, we're getting this.

0:29:19 > 0:29:22You should get this one on camera cos I'm going to break my record.

0:29:22 > 0:29:24I got it. Oof.

0:29:24 > 0:29:25Shush.

0:29:25 > 0:29:27I'm scared of moving.

0:29:27 > 0:29:29I feel as if I'm too close to the floor.

0:29:29 > 0:29:31I mean, what's going to get me?

0:29:31 > 0:29:33You hear that shit outside?

0:29:33 > 0:29:35- We heard a noise before, you know. - What?

0:29:35 > 0:29:38Growling. All three of us went, "What was that?"

0:29:38 > 0:29:40It was a little dog.

0:29:40 > 0:29:41A dog outside.

0:29:41 > 0:29:44The local dog. We thought it was a jaguar or something.

0:29:47 > 0:29:48I broke my record.

0:29:49 > 0:29:51HE YAWNS

0:29:55 > 0:29:59When the sun comes up, I can finally see where we slept...

0:29:59 > 0:30:01A small farm on the edge of the rainforest.

0:30:04 > 0:30:06There's ants everywhere.

0:30:10 > 0:30:13Um... OK.

0:30:13 > 0:30:15Day one, um, in the Amazon.

0:30:16 > 0:30:19Not a great night's sleep, I can't lie.

0:30:19 > 0:30:22Um...never slept in a hammock before.

0:30:22 > 0:30:25Been in a hammock with the kids and Victoria but, um...

0:30:25 > 0:30:28Never slept in a hammock before.

0:30:28 > 0:30:31- Are they up yet?- Morning.

0:30:31 > 0:30:34- 7:30, it's not even 8:00, man.- It's amazing.

0:30:34 > 0:30:37Anthony slept all night.

0:30:37 > 0:30:40Dave moaned all night.

0:30:41 > 0:30:42Derek snored all night.

0:30:42 > 0:30:45That's a problem because you can't snore in the jungle, man.

0:30:45 > 0:30:47He can.

0:30:47 > 0:30:52But it was...it was amazing, and waking up to this, I mean...

0:30:52 > 0:30:54Who wouldn't want to wake up to this every day?

0:30:57 > 0:30:59Probably got all ants now as well.

0:31:06 > 0:31:08Look at the state of me.

0:31:10 > 0:31:12- Seriously.- Notting Hill's finest.

0:31:12 > 0:31:16It's all gone out the window. The look's gone out the window.

0:31:16 > 0:31:18We're going to make some breakfast now.

0:31:18 > 0:31:20- You want to cook an egg? - Yeah, why not?

0:31:20 > 0:31:22- Over easy.- Do you know how to do it?

0:31:22 > 0:31:24- Cook an egg?- Yeah.

0:31:24 > 0:31:27What do you think?

0:31:27 > 0:31:28Aah, shit.

0:31:30 > 0:31:33You'll have a cooking programme after this.

0:31:35 > 0:31:37I love to cook, I must admit.

0:31:37 > 0:31:40How did...? With all the years on the road and playing...

0:31:40 > 0:31:41how did you learn?

0:31:41 > 0:31:46Before I met Victoria I lived... I lived in Manchester on my own

0:31:46 > 0:31:47for four years.

0:31:47 > 0:31:51So, I just learnt to cook then.

0:31:51 > 0:31:55And also, my mum used to let me cook with her when I was young.

0:31:56 > 0:31:58Look, not bad.

0:31:59 > 0:32:02I think this is going to be too greasy for you, Anthony.

0:32:06 > 0:32:08This is what the Indians use to paint themselves, you know,

0:32:08 > 0:32:12because the red, it's a protection from the evil spirits.

0:32:12 > 0:32:13I like that.

0:32:15 > 0:32:17I think they need some on.

0:32:19 > 0:32:21When you go back to your people, Conrado,

0:32:21 > 0:32:24you'll be like, "I made this fool wear this stuff."

0:32:24 > 0:32:25THEY LAUGH

0:32:25 > 0:32:28- You look good.- Thanks, guys.

0:32:28 > 0:32:29'Hello?'

0:32:29 > 0:32:31- Hey, mate.- 'Hi.'

0:32:31 > 0:32:33So, are your brothers and sister and Mummy OK?

0:32:33 > 0:32:34'Yeah.'

0:32:34 > 0:32:37Yeah? What was the Man United score yesterday, do you know?

0:32:37 > 0:32:39'3-0.'

0:32:39 > 0:32:42Ah, nice. Dad is in the middle of the jungle now.

0:32:42 > 0:32:43'Is it cool?'

0:32:43 > 0:32:45Yeah, it's really cool.

0:32:45 > 0:32:48It's kind of a trip how you have kids that are 15.

0:32:48 > 0:32:51The cool thing is, though, that you're going to have grandkids

0:32:51 > 0:32:53and great-grandkids in your lifetime, you know?

0:32:53 > 0:32:55I hope so.

0:32:55 > 0:32:58Whereas me, I'm 36, I don't even have a prospect, you know?

0:32:58 > 0:33:01You've probably got a few but you just don't know about them.

0:33:01 > 0:33:03Oh, geez.

0:33:04 > 0:33:07'Before heading to the jungle, we need to sharpen up.'

0:33:07 > 0:33:10What you want, you want something that grips, right?

0:33:10 > 0:33:13If you don't have a stone, what you do, you take the sand,

0:33:13 > 0:33:17you put it on the wood, see?

0:33:17 > 0:33:19The sand will sharpen the steel?

0:33:19 > 0:33:25- The stone's made out of sand, so, see?- Now we're talking.

0:33:25 > 0:33:28And this is one of the hardest woods, right,

0:33:28 > 0:33:29it's called Brazilwood.

0:33:29 > 0:33:34You're going to use this on the way, I'm going to use mine much more

0:33:34 > 0:33:37at this moment, but you're going to use yours when we go in the jungle.

0:33:40 > 0:33:42'Anthony's plan was for us to catch a boat.

0:33:42 > 0:33:44'But the bikes are too big to carry,

0:33:44 > 0:33:47'so we have to meet them upriver.'

0:33:47 > 0:33:50I'm sort of bummed we're letting go of the bikes.

0:33:52 > 0:33:53Aren't we seeing them there?

0:33:53 > 0:33:56Yeah, but just, you know, I thought they were coming with us.

0:33:56 > 0:34:00So this is the small channel that we're going to go down, OK?

0:34:00 > 0:34:02- To the Black River. - Which is the Rio Negro.

0:34:02 > 0:34:05- How many hours? - This is going to be days.

0:34:05 > 0:34:07Here in the Amazon we don't talk about hours.

0:34:07 > 0:34:10Here you say, our boat get delayed one day, one week.

0:34:10 > 0:34:13So when we talk, you don't talk about hours here.

0:34:13 > 0:34:17So, our motorbike, since we cannot take it, will be

0:34:17 > 0:34:19waiting for us in another place.

0:34:19 > 0:34:22Look at the little boat with the motorcycle on it.

0:34:22 > 0:34:24ENGINE REVS

0:34:24 > 0:34:26- You hear the bikes fired up?- Yeah.

0:34:26 > 0:34:31I'm sad about it, but I know they're going to turn up somewhere else,

0:34:31 > 0:34:33so, I'm kind of excited about going on a boat.

0:34:33 > 0:34:39'Waiting for us at the creek is Raj, he's in charge of our safety.'

0:34:39 > 0:34:42So, guys, these are the boats the fishermen use to farm the mandioca.

0:34:42 > 0:34:46And this is what you need to use to actually get through this

0:34:46 > 0:34:48creek onto the Rio Negro.

0:34:48 > 0:34:50You need to be aware of your surroundings.

0:34:50 > 0:34:53The reason being is a few days ago

0:34:53 > 0:34:57they've seen a six metre anaconda just pop out of the water.

0:34:57 > 0:34:59Personally, I'm going to stay in the boat.

0:34:59 > 0:35:01Are you afraid of water?

0:35:01 > 0:35:03- I'm afraid of this water.- Yeah?

0:35:04 > 0:35:07- In general, no. - I'm nervous about that boat.

0:35:07 > 0:35:09Well, it keeps filling with water. Look.

0:35:09 > 0:35:12You boys are going to have to empty the water about every few minutes,

0:35:12 > 0:35:15that's what the fishermen do, these are the boats the fishermen use.

0:35:15 > 0:35:18- I'll be the water boy, yeah? - Yeah, keep scooping.

0:35:18 > 0:35:20There's a hole in the boat?

0:35:20 > 0:35:22It's full of holes.

0:35:22 > 0:35:26Conrado, you want me to paddle? Give me a paddle, I'll paddle.

0:35:30 > 0:35:34- Oh, my God. - HE LAUGHS

0:35:34 > 0:35:37If we didn't have balance, we were dead then.

0:35:39 > 0:35:41Tree.

0:35:41 > 0:35:44Be careful, be careful, be careful. Push off, push off.

0:35:44 > 0:35:46- Whoa. Whoa!- Watch out.

0:35:46 > 0:35:49I thought there was something moving in there then. Do you want...?

0:35:49 > 0:35:50I don't want to touch that.

0:35:51 > 0:35:53Some shit in there.

0:35:57 > 0:35:59HE WHISTLES

0:36:01 > 0:36:04That's the capuchin monkey that makes that noise.

0:36:05 > 0:36:07I mean, this is real.

0:36:10 > 0:36:13Actually, this is pretty amazing, you know.

0:36:13 > 0:36:17I mean, is this sort of the most adventurous thing you've ever done?

0:36:17 > 0:36:20- Yeah, without a doubt.- Yeah. - Without a doubt.

0:36:25 > 0:36:30Back when I was 15, all I ever thought about was football.

0:36:30 > 0:36:34I knew I had to sacrifice things and I did.

0:36:34 > 0:36:40I mean, I sacrificed friends and a social life at 15.

0:36:40 > 0:36:4415 is where you start kind of exploring.

0:36:48 > 0:36:53Moving up to Manchester and then being taken on by a club that

0:36:53 > 0:36:59looked after me so well, a manager that became like my second dad -

0:36:59 > 0:37:06Sir Alex Ferguson - and they took over the responsibility of...

0:37:08 > 0:37:12..you know, bringing me up as a football player but also a man.

0:37:16 > 0:37:17It's calming.

0:37:19 > 0:37:24As an athlete, when you finish playing it's a tough time,

0:37:24 > 0:37:25you know, I found it tough.

0:37:25 > 0:37:29You go through a stage of enjoying the rest,

0:37:29 > 0:37:32then you don't know what to do, you need to do something.

0:37:32 > 0:37:34I went through that stage

0:37:34 > 0:37:37and now I'm going through the stage of missing the game.

0:37:38 > 0:37:41Come on, David. You are afraid of the water?

0:37:41 > 0:37:43- I'm not afraid of the water.- Right? - No, I just don't want to go in.

0:37:43 > 0:37:46- I've got s... My boots are tied up. - It's so easy.

0:37:51 > 0:37:53Silly idea.

0:37:53 > 0:37:55That was amazing

0:37:56 > 0:37:59Now, you know, I go to watch a basketball game

0:37:59 > 0:38:04and when you're watching athletes play at the top of their game,

0:38:04 > 0:38:07for me, it gives me that itch again.

0:38:07 > 0:38:09And I want to be back in the game then.

0:38:09 > 0:38:12And I start thinking to myself, could I play again?

0:38:14 > 0:38:18Could I go back, could I come out of retirement and start playing again?

0:38:22 > 0:38:26So, we might see you in a jersey again is what you're saying?

0:38:26 > 0:38:29- I mean... - Can you be a player/owner?

0:38:29 > 0:38:34There's never been a player/owner, but maybe. Maybe.

0:38:39 > 0:38:41I mean, listen.

0:38:41 > 0:38:43Going from the madness of Rio...

0:38:45 > 0:38:46..to this.

0:38:48 > 0:38:51Still wouldn't swim in there, though.

0:38:51 > 0:38:52HE LAUGHS

0:39:12 > 0:39:16'Six hours on a boat led us out to the Rio Negro.'

0:39:18 > 0:39:20- You all right?- Yeah.

0:39:20 > 0:39:23'And as the sun sets over the riverboat that we're staying on,

0:39:23 > 0:39:25'I've never felt so far from home.'

0:39:31 > 0:39:36Ah, I'd love a nice piece of steak. Steak 'n' chips.

0:39:40 > 0:39:43ENGINE HUMS SOFTLY

0:39:54 > 0:39:58Did that generator wake you up? Good job it's only 4.00 am.

0:40:01 > 0:40:05I feel like I'm on a ferry boat on the Mississippi right now,

0:40:05 > 0:40:06that's what it looks like.

0:40:06 > 0:40:08Is that a good thing?

0:40:09 > 0:40:12I've never been on a ferry boat on the Mississippi either.

0:40:12 > 0:40:15THEY LAUGH

0:40:15 > 0:40:16Morning.

0:40:16 > 0:40:22I think it's around 8.00 on... I've no idea what day it is.

0:40:22 > 0:40:25I just woke up, we travelled overnight.

0:40:25 > 0:40:27This is where we slept.

0:40:27 > 0:40:29Great night's sleep.

0:40:29 > 0:40:32Still, you know, I was able to think a lot last night and I don't

0:40:32 > 0:40:39know, why did I have to come all this way to be able to think?

0:40:42 > 0:40:45Part of me feels it's a selfish thing to do.

0:40:45 > 0:40:49I never saw myself as a selfish person but in sitting back

0:40:49 > 0:40:53and reflecting on my life, my sacrifices over the years,

0:40:53 > 0:40:56I've probably been selfish once.

0:40:56 > 0:41:00For instance, you know, I've had to block out the fact that

0:41:00 > 0:41:04I don't see my children every single day because I'm in Milan

0:41:04 > 0:41:09playing for AC Milan. That time was a difficult time for Victoria.

0:41:09 > 0:41:13You know, my children, the boys, cos Harper wasn't born at the time,

0:41:13 > 0:41:15the boys would visit me from LA.

0:41:15 > 0:41:19And there was one moment where they were leaving and they were at

0:41:19 > 0:41:22the airport and they were literally holding on to me.

0:41:22 > 0:41:24And that, for me, as a father,

0:41:24 > 0:41:28that was one of my toughest moments as a dad.

0:41:28 > 0:41:32It was selfish, selfish because I wanted to make the World Cup team.

0:41:32 > 0:41:34I would've done anything.

0:41:34 > 0:41:38The ego side of me on the field is the reason I've made these

0:41:38 > 0:41:43decisions, not what was easy for my family.

0:41:49 > 0:41:54All I want to be is the best dad and I hope they're proud of me.

0:41:54 > 0:41:56That's all I want.

0:42:02 > 0:42:04Time to go fishing.

0:42:09 > 0:42:11This is the widest part of the Rio Negro at the moment,

0:42:11 > 0:42:14it's about 20 to 30 kilometres wide.

0:42:14 > 0:42:15And this flows out to what?

0:42:15 > 0:42:18This goes direct to the Amazon,

0:42:18 > 0:42:21and then the Amazon goes to the Atlantic.

0:42:21 > 0:42:22You see the tower?

0:42:22 > 0:42:25Can you see the observation tower over there?

0:42:25 > 0:42:27That's where they spot the schools of fish?

0:42:27 > 0:42:29Yes, this is how they spot the fish.

0:42:29 > 0:42:32- You have to have good eyes, huh? - Yes. Hey!

0:42:37 > 0:42:39DAVID GRUNTS

0:42:39 > 0:42:42'The fish I grew up with came wrapped up in newspaper with chips,

0:42:42 > 0:42:43'but this is the Amazon.'

0:42:48 > 0:42:51'Enrico's family have worked as fishermen here for generations.'

0:42:59 > 0:43:00OK.

0:43:00 > 0:43:03- He's inviting you now to see. - So you go from the inside?

0:43:03 > 0:43:06- Yes, OK. Just the way he's doing it.- OK.

0:43:06 > 0:43:08- David, what you doing, mate? - You what?

0:43:08 > 0:43:10- What are you doing? - Going up there.

0:43:10 > 0:43:12- Morning.- Morning.

0:43:12 > 0:43:15I wouldn't do that, if I was you, without rigging up some gear first.

0:43:15 > 0:43:18- I'll be all right.- Let's just get a bit of safety on him, shall we?

0:43:18 > 0:43:21- This wobbles, it wobbles... - It's OK?- ..the higher up you go.

0:43:21 > 0:43:23They say it's OK, mate, they've got different rules.

0:43:23 > 0:43:26- I'm saying it's not OK. - I'll be all right.

0:43:26 > 0:43:28No, you won't. All it does, it takes a second...

0:43:28 > 0:43:29I'll be OK.

0:43:29 > 0:43:32It takes a second, mate, and then that'll be game over.

0:43:32 > 0:43:34Raj, you're talking to a world-class athlete.

0:43:34 > 0:43:35I'm all right. I'll stay here.

0:43:35 > 0:43:37I know he might be a good footballer,

0:43:37 > 0:43:40he might be nimble with his feet, but no, sorry, guys.

0:43:41 > 0:43:43Do you see our dinner?

0:43:43 > 0:43:47At the minute, we're not going to be eating tonight.

0:43:47 > 0:43:50When you fall and die, we're going to eat you.

0:43:50 > 0:43:51When you die...

0:43:51 > 0:43:53DAVID LAUGHS

0:43:53 > 0:43:56So let's go and try to catch our lunch, man.

0:43:56 > 0:43:58OK, let's go.

0:43:58 > 0:44:00Obviously we're going up a tower that's in sand

0:44:00 > 0:44:04so I get what he's saying, safety things, but these guys do it every

0:44:04 > 0:44:09single day and being told not to do something, I'm 38 years old so...

0:44:09 > 0:44:11How does it really make you feel?

0:44:11 > 0:44:13Like a kid.

0:44:14 > 0:44:15Like a kid.

0:44:18 > 0:44:21- OK, guys. - Are we going in this boat?- Yes.

0:44:21 > 0:44:23- You're getting in the inner part. - You're good?- Yeah.

0:44:23 > 0:44:26Derek, have you noticed how no-one cares about you?

0:44:26 > 0:44:28Where's your safety harness?

0:44:30 > 0:44:32Is it Derek's fault if we don't catch anything?

0:44:32 > 0:44:34THEY LAUGH

0:44:34 > 0:44:35Don't fall asleep.

0:44:39 > 0:44:42Need some help, you want me to help? Yeah? OK.

0:44:42 > 0:44:44MOTOR HUMS

0:44:49 > 0:44:51We're fishing for lunch.

0:44:51 > 0:44:53Do you know how heavy this net is?

0:44:53 > 0:44:55Use your biceps.

0:44:55 > 0:44:56Seriously, I've got a sweat on.

0:44:56 > 0:44:57HE LAUGHS

0:44:57 > 0:45:00How many times do they do this a day?

0:45:00 > 0:45:0312 to 14 times, depends on the day.

0:45:03 > 0:45:05Think I need a better stance.

0:45:05 > 0:45:07You want to do it? Watch a pro do it.

0:45:12 > 0:45:17I mean, to do this every day, go out hunting for food,

0:45:17 > 0:45:20especially if you can do it with your kids as well.

0:45:20 > 0:45:22Imagine doing this with the kids.

0:45:33 > 0:45:36(I'm trying to be as quiet as possible.

0:45:36 > 0:45:41(I'm waiting for a whistle from the guy that's looking out up there.

0:45:41 > 0:45:45(You just have to be quiet because it scares, obviously, the fish.)

0:46:17 > 0:46:18Anything?

0:46:18 > 0:46:21They'd be jumping out of the water by now, wouldn't they?

0:46:21 > 0:46:22You would've thought so.

0:46:22 > 0:46:26Oh! Hey, he's just jumped out. Lift the nets higher.

0:46:26 > 0:46:28There's more out there.

0:46:28 > 0:46:30Oi, oi, oi!

0:46:30 > 0:46:31HAPPY LAUGHTER

0:46:34 > 0:46:35Good day.

0:46:36 > 0:46:39Good day.

0:46:39 > 0:46:40Good stuff.

0:46:47 > 0:46:50This here is one of the matrinxa and it's very strong,

0:46:50 > 0:46:52and this is very expensive.

0:46:52 > 0:46:54For like this, you're already paying like ten real.

0:46:54 > 0:46:56Can I have a go at filleting one?

0:46:56 > 0:46:58Yeah, sure. Be careful with your hands.

0:47:00 > 0:47:03I've always wanted to fillet a fish, so...

0:47:05 > 0:47:08- Have we got like, tweezers? - Go have a look at Gardner up there.

0:47:08 > 0:47:10Got the spiky things in my feet.

0:47:10 > 0:47:14Have you seen him? Seeing the medic cos he's got a splinter.

0:47:14 > 0:47:17If it had happened to those two they'd be crying, you know.

0:47:17 > 0:47:18Good?

0:47:20 > 0:47:23So this is Mr Enrico's house, OK.

0:47:23 > 0:47:26This is his kitchen and this is his wife here.

0:47:26 > 0:47:28Hello. What is the best way of cooking?

0:47:28 > 0:47:30- Frigir.- Frigir.

0:47:31 > 0:47:35Enrico's wife said the best way of cooking the fish is frying it,

0:47:35 > 0:47:39so we've seasoned it, little bit of salt, little bit of pepper,

0:47:39 > 0:47:41looking pretty good, to be honest.

0:47:41 > 0:47:44- Not bad, no?- Pretty good, huh?

0:47:44 > 0:47:48My first time I filleted a fish, so I'm quite proud of myself.

0:47:48 > 0:47:51You should try this, this is the most delicious part, you know.

0:47:51 > 0:47:53- No, no, I'm good. - Going to give it a try?

0:47:53 > 0:47:55I like the nice white piece of the fish.

0:47:55 > 0:47:56- What is it?- The head, the eyes.

0:47:56 > 0:47:59- The eyes.- Mm.

0:48:02 > 0:48:04Some life.

0:48:04 > 0:48:07If you didn't play football what do you think you would've done?

0:48:07 > 0:48:08Er, I don't know.

0:48:08 > 0:48:12I used to do a lot of work with my dad as a gas fitter.

0:48:12 > 0:48:15When he was working he used to take me every Saturday, we used to

0:48:15 > 0:48:20go up to a restaurant called RSJ's, we used to do the ovens.

0:48:20 > 0:48:26Then we'd go from there back to East London, we'd go to my dad's

0:48:26 > 0:48:32local football club where we'd play football for ages, for hours.

0:48:32 > 0:48:35He was a hard player, my dad. He always used to say to me,

0:48:35 > 0:48:38"I'll let you know when you've made it." That's what he said to me.

0:48:38 > 0:48:40Did that moment happen?

0:48:40 > 0:48:43Yeah, when I got my 100th cap for England, he said,

0:48:43 > 0:48:44"You've done well, boy."

0:48:44 > 0:48:46- That's when he let you know?- Yeah.

0:49:02 > 0:49:06So, we're changing plans. We were supposed to go up the river

0:49:06 > 0:49:08but we decided we wanted to get to the bikes earlier,

0:49:08 > 0:49:10so we've diverted, going to pick the bikes up,

0:49:10 > 0:49:12and we're putting them in the jungle boat.

0:49:12 > 0:49:15We're taking that up the river, and then we're taking

0:49:15 > 0:49:18potentially a very dangerous mud and trench track.

0:49:18 > 0:49:22But we're willing to take the risk because, at the end of the day,

0:49:22 > 0:49:25the bikes are important.

0:49:25 > 0:49:27- Yes, they are.- Yes.

0:49:28 > 0:49:31'Getting back on the bikes means taking back control.

0:49:31 > 0:49:34'Riding in the Amazon is risky but it's our choice

0:49:34 > 0:49:38'and that's what this journey is all about.'

0:49:38 > 0:49:40ALL: One, two, three, go.

0:49:41 > 0:49:43Keep coming, keep coming.

0:49:43 > 0:49:45'Unfortunately, this road doesn't take us where we want to go.

0:49:45 > 0:49:48'Conrado thinks he knows of a direct route,

0:49:48 > 0:49:50'but it means taking the bikes on the boat.'

0:49:50 > 0:49:53Right now, this right here is called Prainha.

0:49:53 > 0:49:56- And when we get to this dirt road... - How rough is this road going to get?

0:49:56 > 0:49:59Right here, we're going to go up and down.

0:49:59 > 0:50:03- So you must be careful how you're going down.- OK.

0:50:03 > 0:50:05We don't know yet how far this way is going.

0:50:05 > 0:50:07We don't know where we're going to go.

0:50:07 > 0:50:11So, wherever it's going to get dark, this is where we're going to sleep.

0:50:16 > 0:50:18It's kind of strange.

0:50:19 > 0:50:24We're in the middle of the Amazon heading into the middle of nowhere,

0:50:24 > 0:50:28not knowing where we're going, not knowing where we're going to stop.

0:50:28 > 0:50:31At some point we're going to get off the bikes and we're going to ride.

0:50:31 > 0:50:33THUNDER CLAP

0:50:33 > 0:50:35It's exciting, you know, the rain

0:50:35 > 0:50:38means, with the bikes, it's going to be a tough ride.

0:50:38 > 0:50:39So we'll see.

0:50:41 > 0:50:49But I think all in all, as nervous as I am about today

0:50:49 > 0:50:54and about where we're going and what we're doing, it's exciting.

0:50:54 > 0:50:57Is the river always this high or does it drop down?

0:50:57 > 0:51:00Because it looks to me like a forest here, all these trees here.

0:51:00 > 0:51:03Yeah, you can see the mark, the dark spot

0:51:03 > 0:51:07on the trees over there, you can see the dark spots there.

0:51:07 > 0:51:11- Yeah.- Which means in May, June, July, it will be totally covered.

0:51:11 > 0:51:13So we kind of have like six months underwater

0:51:13 > 0:51:17and six months just a small channel here.

0:51:17 > 0:51:19- But does it go further down?- Yes.

0:51:19 > 0:51:21How much further? How deep is it here?

0:51:21 > 0:51:23About 15 metres further down.

0:51:23 > 0:51:25Derek, how are we going to get these bikes off?

0:51:25 > 0:51:28- We're going to have to lift them. - We're going to lift this one?

0:51:28 > 0:51:30We're going to have to lift them all.

0:51:32 > 0:51:35- It looks really muddy where we pull in.- Yeah.

0:51:35 > 0:51:37Can't you get us closer?

0:51:37 > 0:51:40No, no, no, because this boat, it cannot anchor to the shore.

0:51:40 > 0:51:43- What we're going to do... - Don't know about this. Hold on.

0:51:43 > 0:51:46How's this b...? Listen, if you get this bike up

0:51:46 > 0:51:49and it goes that way, once it falls in the water we're screwed.

0:51:49 > 0:51:52Why can't we just turn it now and just flick the front end up?

0:51:52 > 0:51:53THEY LAUGH

0:51:53 > 0:51:55- Seriously.- This bike is 600lbs.

0:51:55 > 0:51:58Going to need a lot of manpower for this.

0:51:58 > 0:52:00One, two, three, go!

0:52:02 > 0:52:04- OK, now...- Watch your leg!

0:52:04 > 0:52:07- We need balance. - One, two, three, go.- Get it up.

0:52:07 > 0:52:09Slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly.

0:52:09 > 0:52:11- OK. OK, OK, hold on, hold on, hold on.- Got it?

0:52:11 > 0:52:15- Right, push, push a little, slowly, slowly, slowly.- You have it?

0:52:15 > 0:52:18'I'm beginning to see why we're the only ones who thought

0:52:18 > 0:52:20'travelling with bikes through the Amazon was a good idea.'

0:52:20 > 0:52:24- To be fair...- Well I did say that and you laughed at me.

0:52:24 > 0:52:27They didn't flinch either, it was like, yeah, no problem.

0:52:28 > 0:52:31The roads are empty, I wonder why.

0:52:36 > 0:52:39But at least we're not the only ones on two wheels.

0:52:47 > 0:52:49- Davva, Super Noodles.- What?

0:52:49 > 0:52:51They've got Super Noodles.

0:52:51 > 0:52:54You're joking. It's like an oasis, this.

0:52:54 > 0:52:57The fridge would go down well in the jungle.

0:52:57 > 0:52:59Shout me out in about an hour.

0:52:59 > 0:53:02Have we got bottles of Coke and stuff?

0:53:02 > 0:53:04Nowhere to keep them cool.

0:53:04 > 0:53:07Should we get one of these for margaritas?

0:53:07 > 0:53:09- Yeah.- OK.

0:53:10 > 0:53:11Si.

0:53:14 > 0:53:16Ah, si, si, si, Manchester.

0:53:16 > 0:53:17Once upon a time...

0:53:17 > 0:53:20- Is it amazing how many soccer pitches there are?- Yeah.

0:53:20 > 0:53:21There must be a ball around here.

0:53:23 > 0:53:25- What do you think?- No chance.

0:53:25 > 0:53:28No chance? How far back?

0:53:28 > 0:53:30As far as you want.

0:53:30 > 0:53:32HE LAUGHS

0:53:32 > 0:53:34- Are you sure?- Yeah.

0:53:34 > 0:53:36I'm quick. I'm little but I'm quick.

0:53:36 > 0:53:38ENGINES ROAR

0:53:44 > 0:53:46Hold it, guys.

0:53:46 > 0:53:47HE GROANS

0:53:50 > 0:53:51Bound to happen.

0:53:51 > 0:53:53THEY LAUGH

0:53:53 > 0:53:55I mean, I'm surprised it took this long.

0:53:55 > 0:53:57Chain broke.

0:53:58 > 0:54:00Is that a failure or a success?

0:54:00 > 0:54:01Success.

0:54:04 > 0:54:06Where actually are we right now?

0:54:08 > 0:54:11You're asking me? An East End boy?

0:54:11 > 0:54:13LAUGHING: Yeah!

0:54:16 > 0:54:19- I believe we're somewhere around here.- OK.

0:54:19 > 0:54:22We took this whole journey, we made that right turn, right,

0:54:22 > 0:54:2512 kilometres, I believe we're in here somewhere.

0:54:25 > 0:54:26- OK.- We're broken down.

0:54:26 > 0:54:29Well, we're broken down but we don't need to be anywhere.

0:54:29 > 0:54:33I mean, I don't think I can remember the last time

0:54:33 > 0:54:40I was just sat somewhere like this with nowhere to be, nowhere to go.

0:54:46 > 0:54:50Can't wait for that nice clean shower in the jungle.

0:54:52 > 0:54:54HE LAUGHS

0:55:09 > 0:55:11HE SIGHS

0:55:18 > 0:55:20What time is it in England?

0:55:20 > 0:55:23- God knows, what time is it here? - I have no idea.

0:55:24 > 0:55:26WATER SPLASHES

0:55:29 > 0:55:32Any good? Feel better?

0:55:32 > 0:55:34Yeah, it's fresh water.

0:55:34 > 0:55:37Yeah, that's cold.

0:55:39 > 0:55:41Gardner, you going in?

0:55:41 > 0:55:43I'm not going in after him and Derek have been in,

0:55:43 > 0:55:45they've dirtied the water now.

0:55:45 > 0:55:47THEY LAUGH

0:55:47 > 0:55:51- Hey.- It does, feels nice though. Should do that, Davva.

0:55:51 > 0:55:52Tomorrow.

0:55:58 > 0:56:01Wherever we are, I'm not coming back.

0:56:05 > 0:56:07This is bad.

0:56:07 > 0:56:09I guess the simple reality is,

0:56:09 > 0:56:14if you want to go somewhere off the beaten track this is what you get.

0:56:14 > 0:56:17Conrado had managed to find us an empty farmhouse,

0:56:17 > 0:56:21to hang our hammocks. And protect us from the rain. Kind of.

0:56:21 > 0:56:23This pillow's soaking cos there's a hole there

0:56:23 > 0:56:26and it's been coming all the way down here.

0:56:26 > 0:56:29David Gardner, are you out of your comfort zone?

0:56:29 > 0:56:31Out of my comfort zone. Is this called comfort?

0:56:31 > 0:56:33How is the word comfort put in this?

0:56:33 > 0:56:36People live like this every day, by the way.

0:56:36 > 0:56:37I know, and do you know what?

0:56:37 > 0:56:40I appreciate people living like this every day

0:56:40 > 0:56:45and I think it's amazing that they do, but I can't.

0:56:46 > 0:56:50Uh! I surrender.

0:56:53 > 0:56:57I was so excited to see the firefly cos it was under my bag

0:56:57 > 0:56:59and I actually thought my ph...

0:56:59 > 0:57:01I actually thought I had phone service

0:57:01 > 0:57:03cos I could see this thing flashing.

0:57:03 > 0:57:05THEY LAUGH

0:57:05 > 0:57:09I did, honestly. I was like, "Is that...?" Surely not.

0:57:09 > 0:57:12There's no way I've got phone service here.

0:57:12 > 0:57:14DOG BARKS

0:57:20 > 0:57:23The mum's amazing and they just...it's the cutest thing ever,

0:57:23 > 0:57:26they're just following her everywhere.

0:57:26 > 0:57:28And she's so protective.

0:57:29 > 0:57:32Makes me think of the kids. It's so cute.

0:57:36 > 0:57:39'By going off track we're now in danger of missing

0:57:39 > 0:57:40'our flight to the tribe.'

0:57:40 > 0:57:43We're going from here to here.

0:57:43 > 0:57:45'We need to work out a new route

0:57:45 > 0:57:48'to get us to the tiny airstrip in time.'

0:57:48 > 0:57:55We can either fly, or we have 500 kilometres on the bike.

0:57:55 > 0:57:59- I know it's a long time but I think that we should take the bikes.- OK.

0:57:59 > 0:58:00Derek, what do you think?

0:58:00 > 0:58:03You're the experienced one, what do you think?

0:58:03 > 0:58:05I've never been down these roads, man.

0:58:05 > 0:58:09I mean, if the roads are paved it's easy for us.

0:58:09 > 0:58:14If they're like they were yesterday, only dirt, it'd be a rough...

0:58:14 > 0:58:16it'd be a rough trip for us.

0:58:16 > 0:58:19# When everything is going down

0:58:19 > 0:58:22# Nothing seems to feel the same

0:58:22 > 0:58:25# No-one seems to know my name

0:58:25 > 0:58:29# No-one seems to go my way

0:58:29 > 0:58:33# But who knows if I'll see you again...? #

0:58:33 > 0:58:35HE LAUGHS

0:58:35 > 0:58:37Just remember, you grab the front brake and

0:58:37 > 0:58:40you're probably going to lose it. Can't grab it.

0:58:42 > 0:58:43Look, he wants to come along.

0:58:43 > 0:58:45CLICKS TONGUE

0:58:45 > 0:58:48He's cute, man. What's he eating, a lime?

0:58:48 > 0:58:50Looks like it, yeah.

0:58:50 > 0:58:52- Smarter than dogs.- Huh?

0:58:52 > 0:58:53They're smarter than dogs.

0:58:56 > 0:58:59- You guys want to keep moving?- Yeah.

0:58:59 > 0:59:03# Time won't save our souls

0:59:05 > 0:59:10# Time won't save my soul... #

0:59:10 > 0:59:12Look at that road, man.

0:59:13 > 0:59:17Just what I imagined when we were coming to Brazil to ride bikes,

0:59:17 > 0:59:21to the Amazon, that's what I pictured.

0:59:23 > 0:59:27It's exhilarating. Feel like a 17-year-old.

0:59:29 > 0:59:32It's good? Nah? HE SPEAKS OWN LANGUAGE

0:59:32 > 0:59:34Ah. But check, he's got flip flops on.

0:59:34 > 0:59:36I feel like we're doing something wrong.

0:59:36 > 0:59:37It's his tyres, man.

0:59:37 > 0:59:41MUSIC: "Bebete Vaobora" by Jorge Ben

0:59:48 > 0:59:50This is sort of like the Goliath right here, right?

0:59:50 > 0:59:53- Like, it looks too steep. - I won't know till I'm on it, man.

0:59:53 > 0:59:55I'm getting more nervous sat here talking about it.

0:59:55 > 0:59:57Yeah, I'm going to go.

1:00:05 > 1:00:08Oh, my God. That did not look good at all.

1:00:08 > 1:00:10If that's him, we're gone.

1:00:10 > 1:00:11THEY LAUGH

1:00:11 > 1:00:13I'm kind of nervous, I can't lie.

1:00:13 > 1:00:16ENGINE REVS

1:00:30 > 1:00:32Oh!

1:00:32 > 1:00:33Uh!

1:00:33 > 1:00:35HE LAUGHS

1:00:42 > 1:00:43Oh, my God.

1:00:43 > 1:00:46It's nerve-racking watching your buddies come up that thing.

1:00:46 > 1:00:48OK, Mr Champion, you want to go again?

1:00:56 > 1:01:00'Even after all that, we're still miles from the main road.'

1:01:00 > 1:01:03- Unbelievable.- We're going to have to camp here, right,

1:01:03 > 1:01:05- because it's getting dark now.- OK.- Yeah.

1:01:05 > 1:01:07And we'll have to make our way through.

1:01:07 > 1:01:08OK, let's go.

1:01:08 > 1:01:10We're ready to hang out in the jungle.

1:01:10 > 1:01:13'Anthony and Conrado planned for us to experience

1:01:13 > 1:01:14'a night in the jungle.'

1:01:14 > 1:01:16Oh, don't forget the whisky.

1:01:16 > 1:01:19And they brought along Abdias to help keep us safe.

1:01:19 > 1:01:22Abdias was in the military.

1:01:26 > 1:01:30CIGS is kind of a centre for training for jungle warfare,

1:01:30 > 1:01:34so Abdias was there for six years.

1:01:34 > 1:01:37So we've got a very good trained military here with us.

1:01:39 > 1:01:41- Time is going.- Let's hike.

1:01:46 > 1:01:49'As we head into the jungle, the mood starts to change.'

1:01:52 > 1:01:53Oh, boy.

1:01:55 > 1:01:57Oh!

1:01:57 > 1:01:59It's not like boy scouts, this.

1:02:00 > 1:02:04'When all you can see is trees and you hear strange noises,

1:02:04 > 1:02:06'your mind really starts to play tricks.'

1:02:08 > 1:02:09I don't want to look down, man.

1:02:09 > 1:02:13I don't want to look down, up, sidewards, anywhere.

1:02:13 > 1:02:15Where we sleeping again?

1:02:17 > 1:02:21Please, don't put your hands on the trees

1:02:21 > 1:02:24and don't touch or try to eat anything.

1:02:24 > 1:02:28We have scorpions that can be very, very painful.

1:02:28 > 1:02:32Don't know why we brought clothes cos I'm not taking one item off.

1:02:32 > 1:02:34Guys, can you smell here?

1:02:34 > 1:02:38This is from the howler monkey. The howler monkey, when they poop,

1:02:38 > 1:02:42this is to mark their territory, even when they make the noise.

1:02:42 > 1:02:44It's going to rain, it's getting dark, OK?

1:02:44 > 1:02:47We need to sort a spot to camp, so the idea now is just to

1:02:47 > 1:02:50make sure that there is small trees around, cos

1:02:50 > 1:02:53if there's a lot of big trees and there is storm they can fall down.

1:02:58 > 1:02:59Oops, be careful.

1:03:01 > 1:03:02This is ridiculous.

1:03:02 > 1:03:05- It's not a game, this. - I could've told you that.

1:03:06 > 1:03:09We're going to sling up the hammocks, OK?

1:03:09 > 1:03:11- Can we have it really close to each other?- Yes.

1:03:14 > 1:03:18Having a game of football? He's putting a crossbar.

1:03:18 > 1:03:19Crossbar challenge.

1:03:19 > 1:03:21DISTANT HOWL

1:03:21 > 1:03:22What was that?

1:03:22 > 1:03:25- Did you hear that? That was a monkey, by the way.- Was it?- Yeah.

1:03:25 > 1:03:27Let's hope it's a monkey, man,

1:03:27 > 1:03:31cos sometimes the jaguar want to attract the female monkey

1:03:31 > 1:03:35so that is why most times they make noise like monkeys.

1:03:35 > 1:03:37Have you got any more good news?

1:03:39 > 1:03:41Why do we put this here?

1:03:41 > 1:03:45We're going to use the tarp to put over.

1:03:45 > 1:03:47- In case it rains?- Yeah.

1:03:47 > 1:03:49It's going to be dark very soon.

1:03:52 > 1:03:54DAVE SPUTTERS

1:03:54 > 1:03:57- What happened?- Don't know, something just jumped on my head.

1:03:57 > 1:03:59HE SPUTTERS

1:03:59 > 1:04:01- Is that blood or is that wood? - You all right?

1:04:01 > 1:04:02It's OK, panic over.

1:04:04 > 1:04:07Ah, whoa! Look at that big ass frog on my thing.

1:04:07 > 1:04:11- Shut up.- Look! Look.

1:04:11 > 1:04:12Oh, my God.

1:04:13 > 1:04:15Just camped right on my...right on my face, literally.

1:04:15 > 1:04:18Seriously, that's what I'm scared about.

1:04:18 > 1:04:20- Davva, have you seen that frog? - Look at that thing climb!

1:04:20 > 1:04:22No, I don't want to look at it.

1:04:24 > 1:04:29Sorry, just looking around for snakes.

1:04:29 > 1:04:33We're, as you can see, literally in the middle of nowhere.

1:04:37 > 1:04:41I think I just had something on my back but I don't know what it was.

1:04:42 > 1:04:44Oh, snake!

1:04:44 > 1:04:48- Where?- Oh, shit, a snake. - Oh, yeah, yeah.

1:04:48 > 1:04:49- Oh, boy.- Is that poisonous?

1:04:49 > 1:04:51Oh, my God.

1:04:53 > 1:04:57- Doing good?- No, I'm not, man. Um, not like knowing what's around me.

1:05:04 > 1:05:06I'm not comfortable with this.

1:05:08 > 1:05:09Can you tell?

1:05:11 > 1:05:14So the first thing we should do is a fire.

1:05:14 > 1:05:17You see, everything is so wet.

1:05:17 > 1:05:20OK, you cut first the top layer then you...

1:05:26 > 1:05:28So, this is our shaving for the fire.

1:05:28 > 1:05:31Amazing. I'm definitely showing my kids that.

1:05:31 > 1:05:34Keep blowing it, keep blowing it, keep blowing it,

1:05:34 > 1:05:36keep blowing it, keep blowing it, keep blowing.

1:05:36 > 1:05:38HE BLOWS

1:05:38 > 1:05:39HE COUGHS

1:05:39 > 1:05:40Think we've lost it.

1:05:40 > 1:05:44- So it's everything or nothing. - Maybe we'll put some of this on it.

1:05:44 > 1:05:48Pour that on there. Wow, here we go.

1:05:48 > 1:05:51Yes! Brilliant.

1:05:51 > 1:05:53- The whisky work, yeah?- Yes.

1:05:53 > 1:05:54Loving the whisky.

1:05:56 > 1:05:58- We're safe.- Hmm?

1:05:58 > 1:06:00- We're safe.- We're safe.

1:06:00 > 1:06:01DAVID BLOWS

1:06:01 > 1:06:06- 90 minutes on the pitch right there. - Nice.

1:06:06 > 1:06:09Feel like I'm going to faint in a minute, by the way.

1:06:09 > 1:06:11Anyone else want to have a good blow of this?

1:06:11 > 1:06:13THEY LAUGH

1:06:18 > 1:06:21We've got some rice and we've got a chicken on the go.

1:06:22 > 1:06:24Life's good.

1:06:28 > 1:06:30- What's his name again?- Abdias.

1:06:30 > 1:06:32Do you see this table he just whipped up?

1:06:32 > 1:06:34He was born in the middle of the jungle.

1:06:44 > 1:06:46- Football?- Soccer.- Foot soccer. Si, si, si.

1:06:51 > 1:06:53- Si.- Yeah?

1:06:57 > 1:06:59- Football?- Si, si, si.- Wow.

1:07:03 > 1:07:05Si, si, si. Radio, ah, OK.

1:07:05 > 1:07:07- No, no, no television.- Yeah.

1:07:26 > 1:07:28Always...always pressure.

1:07:46 > 1:07:47Si.

1:07:51 > 1:07:54Si, perfecto.

1:07:54 > 1:07:57Si. Simple life.

1:07:57 > 1:07:59Vida simples.

1:08:00 > 1:08:04- I'm a little bit envious. Thank you. - Gracias, obrigado.

1:08:04 > 1:08:06Obrigado.

1:08:08 > 1:08:12This is the best moment of this trip for me, having this experience.

1:08:12 > 1:08:16You know, you build a fire, we're eating chicken with our hands,

1:08:16 > 1:08:19we're drinking a little bit of whisky...

1:08:21 > 1:08:22Mm.

1:08:22 > 1:08:24- HE SMACKS LIPS - Aah, good.

1:08:25 > 1:08:29But it's the simple life that I crave at times.

1:08:37 > 1:08:38Can someone pull my zip down?

1:08:38 > 1:08:40DAVID SIGHS

1:08:40 > 1:08:42Doesn't get much better than this.

1:08:42 > 1:08:45What do you do if an animal lands on top of you?

1:08:45 > 1:08:47Do you kick it off or what?

1:08:47 > 1:08:48THEY LAUGH

1:08:48 > 1:08:50Like on this bit, what do we do?

1:08:50 > 1:08:52Oh, God, this is so comfortable.

1:08:56 > 1:08:59You guys did really good today, though.

1:08:59 > 1:09:00Thanks, Dad.

1:09:00 > 1:09:01HE LAUGHS

1:09:05 > 1:09:07You know when you used to go to science at school

1:09:07 > 1:09:09and they did all the experiments on them dead animals,

1:09:09 > 1:09:11that's what I feel like right now.

1:09:24 > 1:09:26'Waking up in the jungle felt amazing.'

1:09:29 > 1:09:31Some coffee sorted, my friend.

1:09:31 > 1:09:34'Not only had we survived the night,

1:09:34 > 1:09:37'it was the best sleep I'd had since I arrived.'

1:09:37 > 1:09:38Use that to scoop.

1:09:40 > 1:09:41Ah!

1:09:44 > 1:09:46It's a proper chair, by the way.

1:09:46 > 1:09:50Are you surprised how quickly little things become so gratifying?

1:09:50 > 1:09:51Yeah.

1:09:51 > 1:09:55If I would've told you in perfect description exactly what

1:09:55 > 1:09:57- we were doing, which I did not... - Yeah.

1:09:57 > 1:10:02- I just gave you little clues...- Yeah. - ..would you have come here?

1:10:02 > 1:10:04- 100%.- Really?

1:10:04 > 1:10:07Yeah. Yeah.

1:10:07 > 1:10:09SNIGGERING

1:10:09 > 1:10:11You're full of shit!

1:10:11 > 1:10:14He can't say that with a straight face.

1:10:14 > 1:10:17I would've done, 100% I would've done.

1:10:17 > 1:10:20I don't care about clothes, changing clothes, clean...

1:10:20 > 1:10:22- Well, I do care about cleanliness. - Gardner?

1:10:22 > 1:10:27Oh, I'd have just maybe swapped a bit for a hotel now and again.

1:10:27 > 1:10:30I have five button-up shirts in my bag, I would've...

1:10:30 > 1:10:33No, like, button-up shirts to go out to dinner in,

1:10:33 > 1:10:36like, some nice pants.

1:10:36 > 1:10:39Clearly I had a clue of what we were getting ourselves into.

1:10:39 > 1:10:43'And with that, Derek was off into the woods.'

1:10:43 > 1:10:48Wherever Derek goes, he's like an animal, he likes to leave his mark.

1:10:48 > 1:10:52He's the only one brave enough out there.

1:10:52 > 1:10:57He is but he keeps stopping every four steps and he's like that.

1:10:57 > 1:11:00Let's throw something at him to scare him.

1:11:00 > 1:11:02(Wait there, wait there.

1:11:03 > 1:11:04(See him?)

1:11:04 > 1:11:06It's like Gorillas In The Mist.

1:11:13 > 1:11:15Just leave me alone!

1:11:15 > 1:11:16THEY LAUGH

1:11:16 > 1:11:17You just stay away.

1:11:17 > 1:11:20Actually, how many trees are you chopping down?

1:11:20 > 1:11:22I'm looking for my spot.

1:11:24 > 1:11:26I think we give him some privacy.

1:11:26 > 1:11:28THEY CHUCKLE

1:11:31 > 1:11:34- You've adapted well to camping out. - Huh?

1:11:34 > 1:11:38- You've adapted well to the camping out.- Yeah.

1:11:38 > 1:11:42Here he comes, people. Look how light he is on his toes.

1:11:43 > 1:11:45Unbelievable.

1:11:45 > 1:11:48So the jungle's not so bad after all, huh?

1:11:48 > 1:11:50Not at all. I'm ready, though.

1:11:54 > 1:11:55Let's go.

1:11:55 > 1:11:58'Sleeping in the jungle's been an amazing experience.

1:11:58 > 1:12:01'But I know that meeting the Yanomami tribe is going to be

1:12:01 > 1:12:03'even more incredible.'

1:12:10 > 1:12:14'We've got a 400 mile ride before we hit the airfield,

1:12:14 > 1:12:16'so we're going to say goodbye to Conrado.'

1:12:16 > 1:12:18Thank you so much for looking after us.

1:12:18 > 1:12:20- Go well.- Thank you. - It's a pleasure, man.

1:12:20 > 1:12:23We couldn't have done it without you, you know that.

1:12:23 > 1:12:25'When we stop in the town of Rorainopolis, you can

1:12:25 > 1:12:27'feel the passion for football.'

1:12:27 > 1:12:29PEOPLE CLAMOUR

1:12:36 > 1:12:38ENGINE REVS

1:12:45 > 1:12:48'The long ride gives me a feeling of freedom.

1:12:48 > 1:12:51'But Conrado's told me these roads are controversial,

1:12:51 > 1:12:55'as the government open up new trade routes across South America.'

1:12:55 > 1:12:58Well, we should ride through this. You want to ride through it?

1:13:01 > 1:13:05'To get to the airfield we've got to push on and ride through the rain.'

1:13:14 > 1:13:16TYRES SKID

1:13:19 > 1:13:22CAR HORNS BEEP

1:13:23 > 1:13:26- Stop there, cars.- OK, I'm OK.

1:13:34 > 1:13:36See? This is how far he skidded.

1:13:41 > 1:13:44He started there, went all the way over there.

1:13:44 > 1:13:48So this is what's just made that mark, see? Very lucky.

1:13:50 > 1:13:52It was a stylish way to go down.

1:13:52 > 1:13:55- It was, you slid well. - Good job it was wet.

1:13:55 > 1:13:57I only really hit my side and my elbow, that's it.

1:13:57 > 1:13:58- You were lucky.- So lucky.

1:13:58 > 1:14:00I just came up all over, like that.

1:14:00 > 1:14:02You were lucky there was nothing else coming.

1:14:02 > 1:14:03No cars, nothing.

1:14:05 > 1:14:07I'm just stoked he's OK, man.

1:14:07 > 1:14:09No broken bones, it could've been a hell of a lot worse.

1:14:13 > 1:14:15- Is this our plane?- Yeah.

1:14:15 > 1:14:17'With Anthony's bike out of action,

1:14:17 > 1:14:19'it's lucky we're so close to the airfield.'

1:14:19 > 1:14:22- You want to sit front or back? - I'll sit over there.

1:14:30 > 1:14:34'Flying above the Amazon, you can see how massive it is.

1:14:34 > 1:14:37'I'm told it's almost the size of Australia.

1:14:39 > 1:14:42'From here, I can also see the remains of a road that

1:14:42 > 1:14:44'cuts across the Yanomami territory.

1:14:44 > 1:14:48'I'd heard that the government started building it in the '70s,

1:14:48 > 1:14:52'but were forced to stop after a big international outcry.

1:14:52 > 1:14:55'All that remains of the road is a runway.'

1:15:04 > 1:15:06DAVID GROANS

1:15:06 > 1:15:11'This is it - the furthest and most remote point of our trip.

1:15:11 > 1:15:13'We're lucky to be allowed in,

1:15:13 > 1:15:17'the Yanomami are nervous of outsiders and the organisation

1:15:17 > 1:15:20'that protects them insists visitors have vaccinations.

1:15:28 > 1:15:31PEOPLE CHATTERING

1:15:37 > 1:15:39'I've never been anywhere as cut off as this.

1:15:39 > 1:15:41'It feels like another world.'

1:15:54 > 1:15:56PEOPLE CHATTERING

1:16:01 > 1:16:03CHEERING

1:16:10 > 1:16:12Thank you. Obrigado.

1:16:13 > 1:16:15Ah, it's your best look yet.

1:16:15 > 1:16:17- WHISTLE BLOWS - And you.

1:16:23 > 1:16:26PEOPLE WHOOP AND CHEER

1:16:26 > 1:16:27- Scary?- Yeah.

1:16:27 > 1:16:29- Scary, yeah.- Yeah.

1:16:29 > 1:16:34Especially when they have a bow and arrows, five foot long arrows.

1:16:34 > 1:16:36- And we can't go anywhere.- Yeah.

1:16:44 > 1:16:48'I've been searching for a really unique experience and as

1:16:48 > 1:16:52'I start to relax at the welcome ceremony, I know I've found it.'

1:16:54 > 1:16:58- It's amazing, isn't it?- Amazing.

1:16:58 > 1:17:00WHOOPING AND CHANTING

1:17:11 > 1:17:15What is the difference with the guys that are painted black?

1:17:36 > 1:17:37HE LAUGHS

1:17:57 > 1:18:00They were trying to rub my tattoos off. Amazing.

1:18:00 > 1:18:04I was trying to explain it's a needle and ink and they was trying

1:18:04 > 1:18:07to rub it off, even the older guys were trying to rub it off.

1:18:07 > 1:18:08It was amazing.

1:18:08 > 1:18:11WHOOPING AND CHEERING CONTINUES

1:18:32 > 1:18:34The strong wine?

1:18:40 > 1:18:44They described it as wine but it was like a fruit juice and sugar.

1:18:44 > 1:18:48So not alcoholic but it's a real traditional drink.

1:18:52 > 1:18:54HE SPEAKS OWN LANGUAGE

1:19:00 > 1:19:02'We're invited to sit with the tribal elders,

1:19:02 > 1:19:06'and Marie from the missionary station translates for us.'

1:19:08 > 1:19:13I'd like to hear how this gentleman feels about someone

1:19:13 > 1:19:16trying to interfere in the tribe.

1:19:51 > 1:19:55'They told me 20% of the Yanomami died at that time,

1:19:55 > 1:19:58'and now there's talk of the road reopening again.'

1:20:34 > 1:20:36I really don't understand

1:20:36 > 1:20:40how someone wants to change this culture.

1:20:40 > 1:20:42SHE SPEAKS PORTUGUESE

1:20:47 > 1:20:49Because it feels so special.

1:20:55 > 1:20:58'Tonight, I've realised just how lucky we are to be

1:20:58 > 1:21:00'invited into this unique place.'

1:21:17 > 1:21:24So this was our bed last night, this is what we woke up to this morning.

1:21:29 > 1:21:32Oh, hey. Hi.

1:21:32 > 1:21:34Hello.

1:21:34 > 1:21:36Good morning.

1:21:38 > 1:21:40'It's our last morning in the rainforest.

1:21:40 > 1:21:44'And half the tribe are already working.

1:21:44 > 1:21:48'A walk away from the village, the men are harvesting their crops,

1:21:48 > 1:21:51'while the women and kids prepare them for cooking.'

1:21:58 > 1:22:00The little baby holding the knife there.

1:22:00 > 1:22:02It's amazing, eh?

1:22:02 > 1:22:05They say that they just let them use the knives

1:22:05 > 1:22:08and they learn themselves when they cut themselves.

1:22:10 > 1:22:13- What is your name?- David. - David.- David.

1:22:21 > 1:22:25This is hard work, to be honest, really hard work.

1:22:25 > 1:22:28There's a bunch of three-year-olds doing more than you guys are.

1:22:28 > 1:22:31I'm the only one with a cut finger here, by the way.

1:22:31 > 1:22:34Cut my fingers four times.

1:22:34 > 1:22:36Your battle wounds.

1:22:36 > 1:22:39THEY SPEAK OWN LANGUAGE

1:22:39 > 1:22:40He's asking if you have children.

1:22:40 > 1:22:43Three boys and one girl.

1:22:52 > 1:22:56The four children are yours or they belong to other people?

1:22:56 > 1:22:58- No, to me.- Mm-hmm.

1:23:02 > 1:23:05What do you think they're saying about us?

1:23:05 > 1:23:08I think they're saying, "Look at these lazy arses."

1:23:09 > 1:23:11THEY LAUGH

1:23:12 > 1:23:14His name is Ademar.

1:23:14 > 1:23:16Ademar Yanomami.

1:23:16 > 1:23:18Ademar Yanomami.

1:23:18 > 1:23:20HE SPEAKS OWN LANGUAGE

1:23:20 > 1:23:23- Are you a leader? - Am I a leader? I try to be.

1:23:24 > 1:23:26I try.

1:23:28 > 1:23:30Can you ask him what he's saying?

1:23:34 > 1:23:36- He's asking for your hat. - He wants my hat?

1:23:36 > 1:23:40- He wants to get it.- OK. - He would like to put it on.- OK.

1:23:40 > 1:23:42Perfect. Yeah.

1:23:42 > 1:23:44He's your friend.

1:23:44 > 1:23:45Good, he's my friend now.

1:23:49 > 1:23:53How funny does he look in all that black paint, naked and my hat?

1:23:59 > 1:24:00If you have some work together.

1:24:00 > 1:24:02We do work together as a group.

1:24:02 > 1:24:05There's many things that we do as individuals

1:24:05 > 1:24:08but we mostly like to work as a group.

1:24:09 > 1:24:10Go for a lie down after this.

1:24:16 > 1:24:20When you work together what kind of activities do you have?

1:24:20 > 1:24:24Well, my job for many years was to play soccer.

1:24:24 > 1:24:27THEY SPEAK OWN LANGUAGE

1:24:28 > 1:24:31Can you demonstrate what is soccer for him.

1:24:31 > 1:24:37Soccer is...football, and there's 11 players on each team,

1:24:37 > 1:24:40and there's two goals...

1:24:40 > 1:24:43THEY SPEAK OWN LANGUAGE

1:24:49 > 1:24:53And you have to kick the ball in the other team's goal.

1:24:56 > 1:24:57It's a lot about teamwork.

1:25:14 > 1:25:16Have you ever had to explain football to anybody?

1:25:16 > 1:25:18No, never, apart from my wife.

1:25:20 > 1:25:23I actually had to think about how to explain it.

1:25:23 > 1:25:26That was the weird thing, and I don't think I did a very good job.

1:25:29 > 1:25:30Maybe he just wanted to get back to his crops.

1:25:32 > 1:25:35That's how you're going to carry it.

1:25:35 > 1:25:38I mean, coming where we're from, asking what football is,

1:25:38 > 1:25:41it's kind of amazing.

1:25:41 > 1:25:43But this, without a doubt, was something that

1:25:43 > 1:25:46I was definitely looking for, you know,

1:25:46 > 1:25:54they have no idea who I am, what I've done, I'm just another person.

1:25:54 > 1:25:58- Have you got a little one for me? That one?- Just pick one up.

1:25:58 > 1:25:59A big one?

1:25:59 > 1:26:03I think the women carry this one, I think Derek's got the man's one.

1:26:03 > 1:26:05It's actually a good work-out, this.

1:26:05 > 1:26:07- My neck hurts.- Nice.

1:26:08 > 1:26:12'This trip has been a journey of four friends...'

1:26:12 > 1:26:14- Oh, my God.- I'm going for it.

1:26:14 > 1:26:17'Putting ourselves in situations that we've never been in.'

1:26:17 > 1:26:19No, no.

1:26:19 > 1:26:22It's a bit slippery, to be fair. Don't want to drop their lunch.

1:26:22 > 1:26:27Unfortunately it's very difficult in my life to have new friends.

1:26:27 > 1:26:31Oh, Davva, seriously, you're dropping them all.

1:26:31 > 1:26:36I live in a world where people do want to be your friend for...

1:26:36 > 1:26:38to gain something.

1:26:38 > 1:26:41Here, look at this woman here, carrying the logs.

1:26:41 > 1:26:44'And that's why I find it hard to trust.'

1:26:44 > 1:26:45Puts us to shame that.

1:26:45 > 1:26:47WOMAN LAUGHS

1:26:47 > 1:26:49What you laughing at?

1:26:49 > 1:26:52'But this trip proves the friendship that actually we've all got.'

1:26:52 > 1:26:53What you out of breath for?

1:26:53 > 1:26:56And it would help if a cameraman was walking really slow

1:26:56 > 1:26:57in front of you as well.

1:26:57 > 1:26:59Yeah. I've almost fallen 15 times on these cut stumps.

1:26:59 > 1:27:02It must be all that weight that you're carrying.

1:27:02 > 1:27:03THEY LAUGH

1:27:03 > 1:27:06You know, we've all mucked in with everything that's been going on,

1:27:06 > 1:27:10so I think this trip has brought us definitely close together

1:27:10 > 1:27:12and that's why I've enjoyed it.

1:27:12 > 1:27:16Oh, it's been great, I'm going straight to my travel agent when

1:27:16 > 1:27:20I get home, I'm going to say to her, "Can we go for a month next year?"

1:27:20 > 1:27:21THEY LAUGH

1:27:21 > 1:27:23Don't make me laugh, I can't get the giggles.

1:27:23 > 1:27:26- Gone past giggling, me. - Huh?- Gone past giggling.

1:27:26 > 1:27:29- Quite enjoyed that. - I want to go back again, me.

1:27:29 > 1:27:30THEY LAUGH

1:27:32 > 1:27:34'With most of the tribe still hard at work,

1:27:34 > 1:27:37'we say goodbye to the kids and slip away.

1:27:37 > 1:27:39'We've got a long journey home.

1:27:46 > 1:27:50'As the journey ends, I think about how far we've come.

1:27:50 > 1:27:54'The hundreds of miles of road we've covered and the people we've met.

1:27:54 > 1:27:58'The fishermen, Conrado, Abdias and the Yanomami Tribe.

1:27:58 > 1:28:02'No matter where you go, the same things matter to everyone -

1:28:02 > 1:28:05'family and friendship.

1:28:05 > 1:28:09'It's like Abdias said, it's all about the simple life.

1:28:09 > 1:28:12'Maybe next time, I'll bring Brooklyn.'

1:28:15 > 1:28:18I'm in Sao Paolo now, about to get on a flight.

1:28:18 > 1:28:20I'm missing the kids,

1:28:20 > 1:28:23I'm missing Victoria, I'll be happy to get home and see them.

1:28:23 > 1:28:25- Thanks, man.- Thank you, man.

1:28:25 > 1:28:27I know it's hard to go from Notting Hill to here.

1:28:27 > 1:28:31I just had a look through my diary for the next two months

1:28:31 > 1:28:36and my next day off is in about a month and a half, just over that.

1:28:36 > 1:28:38So that's what I'm back to now.

1:28:40 > 1:28:44My life is so hectic, I don't often get the time

1:28:44 > 1:28:49and the chance to actually have conversations with strangers.

1:28:49 > 1:28:54So being able to actually meet people on this kind of journey

1:28:54 > 1:28:57gave me a lot of energy, gave me a lot of positivity.

1:28:57 > 1:28:59It was refreshing.

1:28:59 > 1:29:03We did it as raw as we could, no showers for six or seven days,

1:29:03 > 1:29:07so I think Victoria will be a lot happier knowing that I've showered.