0:00:02 > 0:00:08This programme contains some strong language.
0:00:08 > 0:00:10'Long before I did all this for a living,'
0:00:10 > 0:00:13I embarked on a journey that changed the course of my life.
0:00:13 > 0:00:17In 1992, I rode a bicycle through Sydney, Australia,
0:00:17 > 0:00:20back to Liverpool.
0:00:20 > 0:00:24Now, 22 years later, I think it's time to do it all again.
0:00:25 > 0:00:29I've thought of going back to Australia and recreating the route
0:00:29 > 0:00:31loads of times in the last 20-odd years,
0:00:31 > 0:00:36just because I feel like I went to Australia but I didn't.
0:00:36 > 0:00:39I went to a road in Australia, and stayed on that road
0:00:39 > 0:00:41and very rarely went off it.
0:00:41 > 0:00:44I want to go back and see the Australia I didn't see.
0:00:44 > 0:00:46That's what I want to do.
0:00:51 > 0:00:54'Now as a self-confessed middle-aged man in Lycra,
0:00:54 > 0:00:57'I'm going to go back and retrace the first stage of my journey,
0:00:57 > 0:01:02'2,500km from Sydney to Cairns.
0:01:02 > 0:01:06'But this time, I need to see all that Australia has to offer,
0:01:06 > 0:01:11'from its amazing landscape to its unique people.
0:01:11 > 0:01:14'I also want to discover how the man I am today
0:01:14 > 0:01:16'compares to the man who came here 22 years ago.'
0:01:18 > 0:01:20It's amazing.
0:01:20 > 0:01:22Oh, shit!
0:01:22 > 0:01:25This is seeing Australia in a way that I've never seen it before
0:01:25 > 0:01:26and most people don't.
0:01:32 > 0:01:34- AUDIENCE APPLAUDS - So ladies and gentlemen,
0:01:34 > 0:01:36- are you ready for a good night? - AUDIENCE: Yeah!
0:01:36 > 0:01:40I live a life now that I couldn't have even dreamed of living
0:01:40 > 0:01:41when I was 25.
0:01:43 > 0:01:46'You could have sat me down and gave me a piece of paper and said,
0:01:46 > 0:01:50"Come up with the most outrageous job you think you'll be doing
0:01:50 > 0:01:53"when you're 47," and it wouldn't be a stand-up comedian.
0:01:53 > 0:01:55I couldn't have come up with that.
0:01:55 > 0:02:00Back in 1992, I was working as a sales rep for a drug company.
0:02:00 > 0:02:04I had a good wage, a company car, I was playing semi-pro football
0:02:04 > 0:02:06and I had a steady girlfriend.
0:02:06 > 0:02:09To my mates, it appeared that I had it all sorted,
0:02:09 > 0:02:11but I just felt I was at a crossroads.
0:02:11 > 0:02:16I could see meself being 45 and still in this company car,
0:02:16 > 0:02:17still doing the job.
0:02:17 > 0:02:20And Australia is the other side of the world
0:02:20 > 0:02:23so it was a part of the world that was always attractive to me.
0:02:23 > 0:02:26But I knew if I didn't go then, I never would go.
0:02:26 > 0:02:29And that's what it was. Travelling back from Australia
0:02:29 > 0:02:32to me was the ultimate adventure that I could think of.
0:02:34 > 0:02:37'Although leaving the job, my mates and the football was tough,
0:02:37 > 0:02:42'the hardest decision was the one I made to leave Melanie behind.'
0:02:42 > 0:02:43'We actually met at uni.
0:02:43 > 0:02:47'I was in my third year, he was in the year below me.'
0:02:47 > 0:02:49He had this aura about him.
0:02:49 > 0:02:54He would walk into the cafeteria or a lecture theatre...
0:02:54 > 0:02:59'You couldn't sort of fail to not know he was there.'
0:02:59 > 0:03:02Also, he was quite loud and he did have this accent
0:03:02 > 0:03:04which for a long time,
0:03:04 > 0:03:07'I actually really couldn't pinpoint what it was.'
0:03:07 > 0:03:10So he was difficult to ignore,
0:03:10 > 0:03:12on a number of levels.
0:03:12 > 0:03:17And then by 1992, we'd been going out with each other for four years
0:03:17 > 0:03:21and she had friends that were getting engaged and getting married.
0:03:21 > 0:03:25Everyone was giving us that look, that kind of, "So...
0:03:25 > 0:03:27"are you going to...?"
0:03:27 > 0:03:30And so Melanie said, "Well, are we going to?"
0:03:30 > 0:03:33And I went, "No."
0:03:33 > 0:03:35I just wasn't ready for that life.
0:03:35 > 0:03:39It was the commitment to say, "That's you now, son.
0:03:39 > 0:03:42"It's time to get married, to settle down, to have kids."
0:03:44 > 0:03:50A short time later, Melanie accepted a job as an air hostess in Dubai.
0:03:50 > 0:03:53They gave me six weeks, basically, to pack my stuff up,
0:03:53 > 0:03:55go out and live in Dubai.
0:03:55 > 0:04:00And right up until getting on the flight,
0:04:00 > 0:04:05I was still hoping for him to say, "Don't go, we'll get married."
0:04:05 > 0:04:09Didn't say it and that was it for me, it was a new life, new start.
0:04:09 > 0:04:12I never wanted to be with anyone else.
0:04:12 > 0:04:14Every time I thought about it,
0:04:14 > 0:04:17I knew I wouldn't love anyone else the same way.
0:04:17 > 0:04:20We were both in tears, if I'm being honest,
0:04:20 > 0:04:21cos we both knew that it was...
0:04:23 > 0:04:27..at best, 50/50 the relationship was going to last.
0:04:27 > 0:04:30So I have to admit, I was a very mixed up young man
0:04:30 > 0:04:32when I got on that plane to Australia.
0:04:32 > 0:04:36I was going there to kind of find meself.
0:04:36 > 0:04:39A lot of the questions in me head were the questions you have
0:04:39 > 0:04:42at that stage in your life, you know, "What am I going to be?
0:04:42 > 0:04:46"What should I do? Should I have married that girl?"
0:04:46 > 0:04:50I was still discovering who I was and what I was about then.
0:04:50 > 0:04:54'Now, I'm a man in my 40s, I've got three teenage sons
0:04:54 > 0:04:56'and I married the girl I left behind.
0:04:56 > 0:04:59'Again, all me mates think I've got it sorted,
0:04:59 > 0:05:02'but I just feel like I'm back at that crossroads.
0:05:02 > 0:05:06'It's like I've got unfinished business with Australia.
0:05:06 > 0:05:08'I need to go back and see the country I missed out on.
0:05:08 > 0:05:11'And also, to be fair, it'll be nice to be able to put on me Lycra
0:05:11 > 0:05:14'without the kids laughing at me.'
0:05:14 > 0:05:16He'll always be constantly on the go.
0:05:16 > 0:05:19He's not happy. He'll tread water for a bit
0:05:19 > 0:05:21and then it's time to go and do something else.
0:05:21 > 0:05:24He'll always, always be that kind of man.
0:05:24 > 0:05:28And he always did say that he wanted to go back.
0:05:28 > 0:05:31I think it's really, really a great thing for him to do.
0:05:31 > 0:05:33And a challenge, obviously,
0:05:33 > 0:05:36cos he's going to have to get back on that bike again.
0:05:38 > 0:05:41So I'm off, I'm leaving the wife, the kids, the dogs behind
0:05:41 > 0:05:44and it's just me and me bicycle going to Sydney.
0:05:50 > 0:05:53Australia's enjoyed a boom in recent years
0:05:53 > 0:05:56and no city reflects this more than Sydney.
0:05:56 > 0:05:58I want to get the best view possible
0:05:58 > 0:06:01and I've always wanted to feel like Indiana Jones,
0:06:01 > 0:06:03so I've hitched a ride in a seaplane.
0:06:05 > 0:06:07What you're flying in is called a De Havilland Beaver
0:06:07 > 0:06:11- and this was made in 1963.- 1963?
0:06:11 > 0:06:13Yeah, absolutely, so it's exactly 50 years...
0:06:13 > 0:06:16- So I'm sat in a plane that's older than me...- Yeah.
0:06:16 > 0:06:19- I don't think I've ever done that. - Yeah.
0:06:19 > 0:06:22You know what strikes you about seeing Sydney this way
0:06:22 > 0:06:25is that the place is alive.
0:06:25 > 0:06:30The water, the relationship with the water and that everyone's out on it.
0:06:32 > 0:06:34And when the first settlers come in,
0:06:34 > 0:06:36would they have come into the bay this way?
0:06:36 > 0:06:39They would have come just south of here to Botany Bay.
0:06:39 > 0:06:43Captain James Cook discovered Australia in 1770
0:06:43 > 0:06:47and he came down this way, looking for a good place for a penal colony.
0:06:49 > 0:06:50The idea that Cook thought,
0:06:50 > 0:06:52"You know what? This is beautiful here.
0:06:52 > 0:06:55"Let's get all the criminals and bring them here."
0:06:55 > 0:06:57You know what I mean? It's mad, innit?
0:06:57 > 0:06:59Typical English arrogance.
0:06:59 > 0:07:02As it happens, James Cook came from Middlesbrough,
0:07:02 > 0:07:04so most places would have looked beautiful to him.
0:07:04 > 0:07:07But there's no denying that since his arrival,
0:07:07 > 0:07:09Sydney has grown into an incredible place.
0:07:11 > 0:07:14Today is Australia Day, when the country celebrates
0:07:14 > 0:07:18the moment that the British flag was planted in Sydney.
0:07:18 > 0:07:20A replica of Cook's ship, The Endeavour,
0:07:20 > 0:07:22leads a flotilla through the harbour.
0:07:24 > 0:07:28The weather looks British, but the atmosphere is distinctly Aussie.
0:07:28 > 0:07:30HORN BLOWS
0:07:30 > 0:07:33You know what? There's nothing more Australian than this,
0:07:33 > 0:07:37Australia Day, because if this was in England, it'd be regulated,
0:07:37 > 0:07:41you know what I mean? Somebody somewhere would be managing this.
0:07:41 > 0:07:45We're out in a water taxi and there's boats everywhere,
0:07:45 > 0:07:47going in every direction.
0:07:47 > 0:07:49And, look at that.
0:07:49 > 0:07:52Look at that lunatic in the canoe.
0:07:52 > 0:07:55Look, everything's here, warships,
0:07:55 > 0:07:58big tall ships, speed boats
0:07:58 > 0:08:00and some idiot's in a canoe.
0:08:01 > 0:08:04- He's getting his camera out! - JOHN LAUGHS
0:08:06 > 0:08:07Oh, brilliant.
0:08:09 > 0:08:13I don't remember Australia Day being such a big deal in 1992,
0:08:13 > 0:08:16but a lot has changed in this country since then.
0:08:16 > 0:08:19To understand a little bit more about this new Australia,
0:08:19 > 0:08:22I'm meeting up with a fellow comedian and good mate of mine,
0:08:22 > 0:08:24Adam Hills.
0:08:24 > 0:08:27Adam divides his time between here and the UK.
0:08:27 > 0:08:30He's a bit like Kylie with jokes.
0:08:30 > 0:08:32Cos when I was here, I'll be honest,
0:08:32 > 0:08:35when I was here 20 years ago, I didn't see a lot of Australia,
0:08:35 > 0:08:38I literally saw the road in front of me and I just pedalled.
0:08:38 > 0:08:43- And I'm trying to discover things that I never saw last time.- Right.
0:08:43 > 0:08:45I just want to know what to expect.
0:08:45 > 0:08:48What's interesting about Australia over the last 20 years is that
0:08:48 > 0:08:50we've become more aware of the rest of the world.
0:08:50 > 0:08:52I would have thought 20 years ago,
0:08:52 > 0:08:56your Liverpool accent would have been unintelligible in Australia.
0:08:56 > 0:08:59You know what, that's a very good point.
0:08:59 > 0:09:03What I have found is people do seem to understand me more.
0:09:03 > 0:09:06I would have thought the fact that you're on telly
0:09:06 > 0:09:08and you need to be understood by an entire nation.
0:09:11 > 0:09:12But I can, you know...
0:09:12 > 0:09:16When you first told me you were doing this trip, I just had flashbacks
0:09:16 > 0:09:19of you in 1992 in North Queensland in a bar, just with some bar owner
0:09:19 > 0:09:21with a confused look on his face.
0:09:21 > 0:09:25And with your Liverpool Scouse... IMITATES SCOUSE ACCENT
0:09:25 > 0:09:29And he was going... IMITATES AUSSIE ACCENT
0:09:29 > 0:09:33It's like seeing Clangers having a row, "Ne, ne, ne, ne!"
0:09:34 > 0:09:38See, when I came 20 years ago, I don't know,
0:09:38 > 0:09:42Sydney just didn't seem as international as it is now.
0:09:42 > 0:09:44Now, Australia has really come along,
0:09:44 > 0:09:46we're not as backward as we used to be, I think.
0:09:46 > 0:09:48But as a young country,
0:09:48 > 0:09:51Australia is the result of people coming over on boats,
0:09:51 > 0:09:54- taking a punt and building the country, it's not...- Oh!
0:09:54 > 0:09:57Look, it's ridiculous. On Australia Day,
0:09:57 > 0:10:00- we celebrate the arrival of people illegally on boats.- Yeah.
0:10:00 > 0:10:02At the same time the government
0:10:02 > 0:10:05are putting in measures to stop the arrival illegally of people on boats.
0:10:05 > 0:10:09- As you know, I'm going from here up to Cairns.- Yeah.
0:10:09 > 0:10:12Have you got any advice for where I'm going?
0:10:12 > 0:10:15- Do you know what I've just realised? - What?
0:10:15 > 0:10:19In filmic terms, you are a one-man Priscilla, Queen Of The Desert.
0:10:19 > 0:10:23You are going on this journey where you've started off in the city
0:10:23 > 0:10:26and then you are going to head off into the country to find yourself.
0:10:26 > 0:10:30And then at the end of this, you'll be in drag in a Cairns nightclub.
0:10:30 > 0:10:33No, cos I'm wearing Lycra all the way.
0:10:33 > 0:10:36I'm not quite sure. What are they...?
0:10:36 > 0:10:39They wanted to be cocks in frocks on a rock.
0:10:39 > 0:10:42With a pair of Lycra, you are going to be
0:10:42 > 0:10:44chafed balls next to some waterfalls.
0:10:47 > 0:10:48Thanks.
0:10:52 > 0:10:56Sydney is recognised as a modern city around the world,
0:10:56 > 0:10:58but for thousands of years before that,
0:10:58 > 0:11:00it was home to the aboriginal people.
0:11:00 > 0:11:04Many in their community mark this day differently
0:11:04 > 0:11:06by calling it Survival Day.
0:11:06 > 0:11:09Now the voice of the indigenous population is being heard
0:11:09 > 0:11:11in a way that it wasn't in the past...
0:11:11 > 0:11:14through young people like Jessica Mauboy.
0:11:14 > 0:11:15I'm here to sing.
0:11:17 > 0:11:20Jessica is a huge pop star in Australia,
0:11:20 > 0:11:23but I first saw her in the film The Sapphires.
0:11:23 > 0:11:26The movie tells the true story of how three ordinary aboriginal
0:11:26 > 0:11:30women were transformed into a successful girl group.
0:11:30 > 0:11:33When you were a child growing up,
0:11:33 > 0:11:36how was Australian history taught to you?
0:11:36 > 0:11:40- I was lucky that, you know, I had my grandparents, my nanna...- Yeah.
0:11:40 > 0:11:42..who would, you know, pass down a certain way
0:11:42 > 0:11:45and a certain tradition, whether it be, you know,
0:11:45 > 0:11:48going collecting food out in the bush and bringing it back to, you know...
0:11:48 > 0:11:51- Instead of going to the shop and buying food.- Yeah.
0:11:51 > 0:11:53I think growing up in Darwin,
0:11:53 > 0:11:58- we have such a massive aboriginal community.- Yeah.
0:11:58 > 0:12:03My mum's clan name is Kuku Yalanji.
0:12:03 > 0:12:07Her family comes from a stolen generation where kids that were
0:12:07 > 0:12:14half-caste or that were light-skinned were taken away from their families
0:12:14 > 0:12:19to be put in white homes, to be taught white ways.
0:12:19 > 0:12:24- And this was a government-backed scheme?- This was the... That was.
0:12:24 > 0:12:28The assumption being that they were giving them a better life?
0:12:28 > 0:12:34They tried to take my mum and her sisters away but my nanna,
0:12:34 > 0:12:37or her nanna and grandad fought back and said,
0:12:37 > 0:12:40- "No, you can't, you cannot have them."- Yeah.
0:12:40 > 0:12:42But I think we can take it now
0:12:42 > 0:12:45- and we can pass down to the next generation...- Yeah.
0:12:45 > 0:12:48..about... Tell them the stories and allow them to know
0:12:48 > 0:12:54but don't do it with anger, do it with a bit of more of a celebration,
0:12:54 > 0:12:58to know that we're here, we are still here
0:12:58 > 0:13:00and that we're still living and we're still passing on
0:13:00 > 0:13:03the spirit and the magic and the soul.
0:13:03 > 0:13:07So, I definitely think that, you know, we're getting better
0:13:07 > 0:13:10as a country and we're definitely unifying and that's a huge...
0:13:10 > 0:13:14LOUD BANG Wow!
0:13:14 > 0:13:18- There goes the cannons.- Yeah.
0:13:18 > 0:13:19Wow.
0:13:19 > 0:13:21You can see the aboriginal flag up there.
0:13:21 > 0:13:25And that flag is being recognised now as a unifying thing for all...
0:13:25 > 0:13:26Oh, yeah, yeah.
0:13:26 > 0:13:29- ..the aboriginal people. - With the rest of the flags.
0:13:29 > 0:13:33So as a young girl, you would never have seen that?
0:13:33 > 0:13:35It's actually quite a...
0:13:37 > 0:13:39- It's sort of overwhelming, in fact. - Yeah.
0:13:39 > 0:13:43Sorry, I'm so emotional right now.
0:13:44 > 0:13:47Jessica's story and being in this buzzing city
0:13:47 > 0:13:50has just really whetted my appetite to get out and see more
0:13:50 > 0:13:53of what this country's got to offer.
0:13:54 > 0:13:59This is the actual map that I used and it took me
0:13:59 > 0:14:0230 days to ride to Sydney to Cairns.
0:14:04 > 0:14:06During those 30 days,
0:14:06 > 0:14:11it didn't take me long to realise that Australia is massive.
0:14:11 > 0:14:14This time round, I want to see more of it so I know to do that,
0:14:14 > 0:14:18I'm going to have to get off the bicycle every now and again.
0:14:18 > 0:14:20Reading through the diary,
0:14:20 > 0:14:24it's pretty apparent that I just cycled and cycled.
0:14:24 > 0:14:29I just think me 25-year-old self had a desire to get somewhere,
0:14:29 > 0:14:31like you do when you're 25.
0:14:31 > 0:14:35Whereas I'm 47 now, I'm not really in the same rush.
0:14:35 > 0:14:38One thing that I've learnt, it's up to you whether you have fun,
0:14:38 > 0:14:40you can't wait for it to happen.
0:14:40 > 0:14:43And I think when I was a younger man,
0:14:43 > 0:14:45I was probably a little bit more serious.
0:14:45 > 0:14:47So, yeah, I want to have a little bit of fun
0:14:47 > 0:14:50and I also want to see what I missed.
0:14:53 > 0:14:56'Well, the truth is I'm not going exactly the way I went
0:14:56 > 0:14:58'so I'm taking this diversion on the first day'
0:14:58 > 0:15:01up to the Blue Mountains, because when I left Sydney I went north.
0:15:01 > 0:15:03Everyone said to me,
0:15:03 > 0:15:05"While you were in Sydney, did you go to the Blue Mountains?"
0:15:05 > 0:15:08And I went, "No, cos I didn't even know they were there,"
0:15:08 > 0:15:11which is just stupid. So, yeah, I'm looking forward to it,
0:15:11 > 0:15:13get a bit of miles in, really, and get it moving.
0:15:16 > 0:15:19'Starting a journey's always exciting but starting an epic
0:15:19 > 0:15:24'trip like this couldn't get more exciting, particularly in Sydney.
0:15:24 > 0:15:28'I'm ready for this. This is me, now.
0:15:28 > 0:15:30'This is my moment.'
0:15:33 > 0:15:36'Well, this isn't me moment, it's coming up.'
0:15:40 > 0:15:43I'm heading to the Blue Mountains.
0:15:43 > 0:15:46It's a 90km journey into the most spectacular wilderness
0:15:46 > 0:15:48in New South Wales.
0:15:48 > 0:15:522.5 million acres of virgin forest,
0:15:52 > 0:15:55vast canyons and soaring cliffs.
0:15:57 > 0:16:00But first, I need to get out of this city.
0:16:01 > 0:16:04What a bridge. What a place!
0:16:11 > 0:16:14'I've got the wind in my hair, the factor 50 on my face
0:16:14 > 0:16:16'and appropriate lubrication where I need it
0:16:16 > 0:16:18'to make sure that I stay friction free.'
0:16:23 > 0:16:27'It feels great to be on a road, even if that road is going uphill.'
0:16:30 > 0:16:32I'm not even in the mountains yet.
0:16:34 > 0:16:36Just on a hill.
0:16:38 > 0:16:43I'm heading to the town of Katoomba in the heart of the mountains.
0:16:43 > 0:16:47Hey, hey, hey. Best thing about a hill...
0:16:47 > 0:16:49..got a hill going down.
0:16:51 > 0:16:55I'm already learning that the road's good, the bike's fast...
0:16:55 > 0:16:57Wahoo!
0:16:57 > 0:17:00..and that you need to apply that lubrication more evenly.
0:17:00 > 0:17:04Still, I'm alive at the end of the first day.
0:17:04 > 0:17:06Apparently, me being squashed
0:17:06 > 0:17:08by a truck wouldn't have made such good telly!
0:17:08 > 0:17:10Here's me little thing there.
0:17:10 > 0:17:16So I've done about four hours, 85km, which is probably very close
0:17:16 > 0:17:18to what I did on the first day last time,
0:17:18 > 0:17:23although I'm in a different town and I'm up a mountain and I'm shattered
0:17:23 > 0:17:27and I want me bed and I'm 47, not 25.
0:17:29 > 0:17:34It's the thing I did. It's that little bit about trying to reconnect
0:17:34 > 0:17:36with Australia the way I was then.
0:17:36 > 0:17:41You can fly through but if you're pedalling every step of the way
0:17:41 > 0:17:44or as much as you possibly can, you're in the middle of it,
0:17:44 > 0:17:46you're not just passing through it.
0:17:52 > 0:17:55The first European settlers saw the Blue Mountains
0:17:55 > 0:17:58as the edge of civilisation
0:17:58 > 0:18:03and today it feels like my first step into wild Australia.
0:18:05 > 0:18:08I'm about to try an activity that I've both fancied
0:18:08 > 0:18:10and feared for a very long time.
0:18:10 > 0:18:12I'm heading to the Boar's Head...
0:18:14 > 0:18:18..where some climbers are going to teach me how to abseil.
0:18:20 > 0:18:23As that famous proverb says -
0:18:23 > 0:18:27to become a better man, you must experience everything,
0:18:27 > 0:18:29even if you are shit-scared.
0:18:31 > 0:18:34I mean, these guys all look like they know what they're doing
0:18:34 > 0:18:38so I've got to put me faith in them, but the idea that your life
0:18:38 > 0:18:42depends on a crampon or a piece of rope
0:18:42 > 0:18:44just seems ridiculous to me.
0:18:46 > 0:18:48Not keen.
0:18:57 > 0:18:59Nice route, eh?
0:19:04 > 0:19:05Awesome.
0:19:07 > 0:19:10It's great but there's a... It's a long way down.
0:19:10 > 0:19:12Oh, it's definitely a long way down.
0:19:12 > 0:19:14Is there a net anywhere?
0:19:14 > 0:19:15Oh, my word.
0:19:16 > 0:19:20'Right now, I know that part of that proverb was right.
0:19:20 > 0:19:24'The last thing I want to do is to walk arse-first off a cliff
0:19:24 > 0:19:27'and then have to climb up the bleeding thing.'
0:19:27 > 0:19:29- Good to go. I'll see you down there.- Ah!
0:19:29 > 0:19:31I'm believing you, I'm trusting you.
0:19:39 > 0:19:42So about two or three metres down off the edge of the cliff,
0:19:42 > 0:19:45you'll come to the first feature, which is a little overhang.
0:19:45 > 0:19:47So you're like this.
0:19:47 > 0:19:48Once you're in that position...
0:19:48 > 0:19:52It might surprise you, I don't think I can actually do that.
0:19:52 > 0:19:53- You may surprise yourself.- OK.
0:19:56 > 0:19:59Whoohoohoo.
0:20:16 > 0:20:20I'll just bring you across nice and slow and give you a moment to
0:20:20 > 0:20:24kind of chill, get used to it and then we'll just go straight into it.
0:20:24 > 0:20:25Yeah, yeah, yeah.
0:20:31 > 0:20:33When I hold you on this, you can't go anywhere.
0:20:33 > 0:20:36So if you want to move anywhere, I have to allow a bit of rope
0:20:36 > 0:20:39- to go through and then you can descend.- OK.
0:20:39 > 0:20:40- Feeling good?- No.
0:20:40 > 0:20:44- Three main things I want you to think about. Feet...- Me kids.
0:20:44 > 0:20:47Feet shoulder width apart, hand behind your back,
0:20:47 > 0:20:49leading with your hips.
0:20:49 > 0:20:52Great. Can you feel your weight in the harness there?
0:20:52 > 0:20:55- I felt it move, I didn't like it. - Just play with that friction.
0:20:55 > 0:20:56There you go.
0:21:00 > 0:21:02Styling. Nice and easy.
0:21:02 > 0:21:05Oh, fucking hell!
0:21:07 > 0:21:08That's the way.
0:21:09 > 0:21:11Nice. Cruising.
0:21:11 > 0:21:14Let those hips lower down a little bit.
0:21:14 > 0:21:16- Lower the hips, lower the hips. - Lower the hips.- Yep.
0:21:16 > 0:21:19Feed it through, that's it. JOHN GRUNTS
0:21:22 > 0:21:23Go easy.
0:21:24 > 0:21:27That's it, now you'll properly overhang, that's it.
0:21:27 > 0:21:30Get your bum really low, just jump out, that's it.
0:21:34 > 0:21:37Oh, I didn't want to see that.
0:21:37 > 0:21:40How the hell do I get back to look at the wall instead of that?
0:21:40 > 0:21:43Yeah, it's coming around here. Doing well.
0:21:43 > 0:21:44That's it. Jump on out.
0:21:46 > 0:21:47Nice work.
0:21:50 > 0:21:53Nice one. Back on good ground.
0:21:55 > 0:21:58Was that your first breath?
0:22:02 > 0:22:04I was never really into climbing cliffs
0:22:04 > 0:22:07but when I look over the edge, I can see what the attraction is...
0:22:07 > 0:22:09the view is amazing.
0:22:09 > 0:22:11It makes you feel like king of the hill
0:22:11 > 0:22:13or king of the mountain
0:22:13 > 0:22:14or king of New South Wales!
0:22:20 > 0:22:23Honest, what a view!
0:22:25 > 0:22:27What a view.
0:22:30 > 0:22:33You know what this is? This is a real contrast to Sydney
0:22:33 > 0:22:35and a real sense that I'm on a journey now.
0:22:35 > 0:22:38This is seeing Australia in a way that I've never seen it before
0:22:38 > 0:22:40and most people don't.
0:22:43 > 0:22:46What kills it is this helmet, you know what I mean?
0:22:46 > 0:22:48Cos I feel fantastic
0:22:48 > 0:22:51but I know I look like a bit of a knob.
0:22:53 > 0:22:54CAMERAMAN: True.
0:22:59 > 0:23:02It's worth looking like a knob to be in this wonderful place.
0:23:02 > 0:23:06To learn more about it, I'm meeting Lester Ives,
0:23:06 > 0:23:10a local ranger who knows this country like the back of his hand...
0:23:10 > 0:23:11or the back of his beard.
0:23:11 > 0:23:14- Lester.- Ah, John.- Ah, mate!
0:23:14 > 0:23:17- Nice to meet you. - How's it going, mate?- What a view.
0:23:17 > 0:23:18Yeah, it's beautiful, isn't it?
0:23:18 > 0:23:21- This is your place of work? - It's where I live.- Fantastic.- Yeah.
0:23:21 > 0:23:25Beautiful place. You can listen, it talks to you.
0:23:25 > 0:23:28- It talks to you? - Listen, listen there.
0:23:28 > 0:23:30Hear cicadas.
0:23:30 > 0:23:33- Have you ever lived anywhere else? - No.
0:23:33 > 0:23:35I've had holidays to places but...
0:23:35 > 0:23:37Cos I've got to be honest, you...
0:23:37 > 0:23:40For people in England, you look like you live here.
0:23:40 > 0:23:42- Yeah.- Do you know what I mean?- Yeah.
0:23:42 > 0:23:44It's our image of a mountain man.
0:23:44 > 0:23:47- Yeah.- And... But when you stand here and then you see the beauty of it...
0:23:47 > 0:23:49Yeah, it's always different, too.
0:23:49 > 0:23:51Why do they call it Blue Mountains?
0:23:51 > 0:23:54That's because of... See all these trees there,
0:23:54 > 0:23:56most of them are eucalyptus trees.
0:23:56 > 0:23:59- Yeah.- They emit this eucalyptus oil from their leaves...- Oh, yeah.
0:23:59 > 0:24:02..into the atmosphere. The way the sunlight hits it,
0:24:02 > 0:24:05the way it reflects off, it appears to be blue.
0:24:05 > 0:24:07- Yeah, of course.- Blue, it's blue.
0:24:07 > 0:24:08Oh, that's fantastic.
0:24:11 > 0:24:14So this... I mean, look at that as a view.
0:24:14 > 0:24:16Just is a place to...
0:24:16 > 0:24:18'When it comes to the local wildlife,
0:24:18 > 0:24:21'Lester is David Attenborough and Dr Dolittle
0:24:21 > 0:24:22'all rolled into one.'
0:24:22 > 0:24:24Listen to all the bird sounds.
0:24:24 > 0:24:27- Huh.- Hear that one?
0:24:27 > 0:24:30- Yeah, what's that? - That's a whipbird.- A whipbird?
0:24:30 > 0:24:33Yeah, the male whipbird makes this sound like a whip, he goes...
0:24:33 > 0:24:35LESTER WHISTLES
0:24:35 > 0:24:36LESTER IMITATES WHIP CRACK
0:24:36 > 0:24:38And usually at the end, you hear this, "Chu-chu",
0:24:38 > 0:24:40that's a female answering.
0:24:40 > 0:24:42FEMALE WHIPBIRD CHIRPS
0:24:42 > 0:24:45- Hear that?- She's answering you?- Yeah.
0:24:50 > 0:24:52WHIPBIRDS SING
0:24:57 > 0:24:59To get down into the deep valleys,
0:24:59 > 0:25:04European settlers carved paths with simple tools and used heavy labour.
0:25:04 > 0:25:08But these trails are gradually being swallowed up by the jungle.
0:25:08 > 0:25:11Lester and the rangers are now trying to put them back.
0:25:13 > 0:25:17This reminds me a bit of what Adam said about chafed balls.
0:25:17 > 0:25:21I don't think I'll mention that to Lester right now, though.
0:25:21 > 0:25:24- Hey, Thor. - How's it going, mate?- Yeah.
0:25:24 > 0:25:27- Hello.- I'd like to introduce you to John.
0:25:27 > 0:25:29- All right, mate. - Nice to meet you, John.
0:25:29 > 0:25:31- And Enchew.- Hi, John. All right?
0:25:31 > 0:25:34- Thor?- Thor, that's it. - Where do you get that from?
0:25:34 > 0:25:37Ah, hippy parents and I was born with blond hair
0:25:37 > 0:25:41- and blue eyes on a really stormy night so...- There you go.
0:25:41 > 0:25:44- And I've got a hammer. - And you got a hammer, yeah.
0:25:44 > 0:25:46And where did you get a name like Enchew?
0:25:46 > 0:25:49- Oh, I'm from Nepal. It's a... - From Nepal?
0:25:49 > 0:25:51..last name of sherpa, yeah.
0:25:51 > 0:25:53Can I have a go? Yeah.
0:25:53 > 0:25:56- Of course you can. - This is the hammer, that's my hand.
0:25:56 > 0:25:58Aim for the hammer.
0:26:04 > 0:26:06Not as easy as it looks.
0:26:06 > 0:26:10- I was watching 'em a minute ago and not thinking...- You hold it...
0:26:10 > 0:26:12Let me have one more go. Ready?
0:26:15 > 0:26:16Oh, that's all right.
0:26:16 > 0:26:20- Yeah, that's good.- OK.- Yeah, nice.
0:26:20 > 0:26:24That's swinging better than an English batsman did in the Ashes.
0:26:24 > 0:26:28- How old are you? - I'll be 60.- 60?!- Yeah.
0:26:28 > 0:26:32- And how old are you?- 28. - So you're swinging.
0:26:32 > 0:26:36- That's why I'm swinging.- Yeah, you're swinging cos you're 20.
0:26:36 > 0:26:37That's sick.
0:26:37 > 0:26:40Probably I swing better than him.
0:26:40 > 0:26:43Well, today, how far do you think you'll go today?
0:26:43 > 0:26:46Um, probably a bit past your foot, yeah. Just over there.
0:26:46 > 0:26:49So you probably do two metres a day, hard swinging.
0:26:49 > 0:26:51- Two metres a day?!- Mm.
0:26:51 > 0:26:55That's proper, proper dedication of work, that is.
0:26:59 > 0:27:02The idea of spending all day grafting to progress only six feet
0:27:02 > 0:27:06seems mind-numbing to me, but the lads are going to spend
0:27:06 > 0:27:09almost a year down here and they seem quite happy with it.
0:27:09 > 0:27:13Being in such a remote area means that sometimes you've got to
0:27:13 > 0:27:16make your own entertainment, just like the people in Norfolk.
0:27:17 > 0:27:21- What is it?- It's an old Kwacker 900's exhaust pipes.
0:27:21 > 0:27:23It's an old motorbike.
0:27:23 > 0:27:27DIDGERIDOO-LIKE MUSIC
0:27:35 > 0:27:37Ah, all born to be wild a bit.
0:27:47 > 0:27:53HORN BLOWS RHYTHMICALLY
0:27:53 > 0:27:57SINGING UNCLEAR
0:27:57 > 0:27:59Yeah, like this, eh?
0:28:01 > 0:28:03This is really a surreal day.
0:28:03 > 0:28:06I've got Gandalf playing his exhaust pipe
0:28:06 > 0:28:09and a tiny Sherpa blowing his own trumpet.
0:28:09 > 0:28:12Enchew spends his time off paragliding and he uses the trumpet,
0:28:12 > 0:28:15he said, to scare off attacking eagles.
0:28:15 > 0:28:16Course he would.
0:28:16 > 0:28:19I was in Canberra one day, flying over it,
0:28:19 > 0:28:20I can hear this noisy eagle.
0:28:20 > 0:28:23The next moment, two of them attack me same time.
0:28:23 > 0:28:25Then bang!
0:28:25 > 0:28:27I look up, big hole in the glider.
0:28:27 > 0:28:30"Brr-brr-brr-brr, God!"
0:28:30 > 0:28:32Then I just emergency land,
0:28:32 > 0:28:35unhook the glider, nearly two metres ripped.
0:28:35 > 0:28:37That's the thing.
0:28:37 > 0:28:39In England, everyone's scared of coming to Australia
0:28:39 > 0:28:41cos there's spiders and snakes.
0:28:41 > 0:28:44Now there's fucking eagles attacking hang-gliders!
0:28:46 > 0:28:48'Enchew's a phenomenon.
0:28:48 > 0:28:51'I mean, just talking to him there, he left home when he was eight,'
0:28:51 > 0:28:55looking for work. He had to live in trees to avoid tigers
0:28:55 > 0:28:58when he was sleeping at night, when he was in the jungle.
0:28:58 > 0:29:01I mean, I don't know why I'm in this documentary.
0:29:01 > 0:29:05We should just make one about Enchew cos he's ended up here in Australia,
0:29:05 > 0:29:09getting attacked by eagles when he goes paragliding.
0:29:20 > 0:29:23To be honest, I'd prefer to see this country from me saddle.
0:29:23 > 0:29:25'There may be no eagles down here,
0:29:25 > 0:29:28'but there's certainly no shortage of wildlife.'
0:29:29 > 0:29:31Look. Another kangaroo.
0:29:34 > 0:29:36Wow.
0:29:36 > 0:29:41'We all know that Australia's got kangaroos and fantastic wildlife,
0:29:41 > 0:29:43'but we also know that a lot of the animals here
0:29:43 > 0:29:46'are extremely dangerous.'
0:29:46 > 0:29:49DOG BARKS
0:29:53 > 0:29:56Most of the time in this country, you're only a few feet away
0:29:56 > 0:29:58from something that can kill you.
0:29:58 > 0:30:01It's a bit like some of the clubs I've played in.
0:30:01 > 0:30:04I'm travelling 150km to the town of Gosford.
0:30:06 > 0:30:09'Where I'm going to meet Tim Faulkner,
0:30:09 > 0:30:11'a man who spends his time
0:30:11 > 0:30:14'working with some of the most dangerous animals in Australia.'
0:30:14 > 0:30:15Follow me.
0:30:17 > 0:30:20What are the most dangerous snakes in here, then?
0:30:20 > 0:30:23Well, there's 250 venomous snakes in these rooms,
0:30:23 > 0:30:26largely comprised of Australian snakes.
0:30:26 > 0:30:28But there are a few exotics, like cobras and rattlesnakes.
0:30:28 > 0:30:30But in terms of venom,
0:30:30 > 0:30:34Australia has ten out of ten of the most toxic land snakes on earth.
0:30:34 > 0:30:37- Ten out of ten?! - Ten out of ten, hands down.
0:30:41 > 0:30:45'Every day, Tim and his team collect the venom from these lethal snakes
0:30:45 > 0:30:48'to produce the lifesaving anti-venom.'
0:30:50 > 0:30:51OK.
0:30:51 > 0:30:53So this is...
0:30:54 > 0:30:58This has the, the fourth strongest venom of any snake on earth,
0:30:58 > 0:31:00responsible for a number of bites.
0:31:00 > 0:31:03Big angular head with a good venom delivery system.
0:31:03 > 0:31:06So if you'd hop back for one second, please.
0:31:06 > 0:31:09I'm just going to present her up onto the table.
0:31:10 > 0:31:14OK, now can you take that body, please? Just hold the back, there.
0:31:14 > 0:31:16- Yep.- Oh, God, yeah. - You're OK, no worries.
0:31:17 > 0:31:19OK. All right.
0:31:19 > 0:31:21Now we've got the snake, that's good.
0:31:21 > 0:31:24I'll swap you and I'll take that tail. That's good. OK, you ready?
0:31:24 > 0:31:26So on three, I'm going to put it on
0:31:26 > 0:31:29and you just keep that thing still, no fingers.
0:31:29 > 0:31:30One, two, three.
0:31:30 > 0:31:32- Ugh!- Oh, there we go.
0:31:32 > 0:31:34- Ugh!- Look at that.- Ugh!
0:31:34 > 0:31:38'Tim's skills allow him to apply just enough pressure to extract
0:31:38 > 0:31:40'the precious venom from the snake without harming it.
0:31:40 > 0:31:43'So if you are a snake, please don't write in and complain.'
0:31:43 > 0:31:46Get another couple of drops, here we go, another two.
0:31:46 > 0:31:47Ugh, can you see it?
0:31:47 > 0:31:49That's pretty good.
0:31:50 > 0:31:51Hiya.
0:31:52 > 0:31:55You look like the worst ventriloquist act
0:31:55 > 0:31:57I've ever seen in me life.
0:31:57 > 0:31:59Oh, look at him, he's curling round.
0:32:03 > 0:32:05And that's where the bite went in.
0:32:06 > 0:32:09So that's enough in there to bowl you and me over quite easily.
0:32:09 > 0:32:11- That'd kill us both. - That'd kill us both.
0:32:11 > 0:32:14And tiger snake venom shuts the brain down, neurotoxins,
0:32:14 > 0:32:18and has a very strong coagulant that will turn your blood to jelly
0:32:18 > 0:32:21and likely to send you into cardiac arrest.
0:32:21 > 0:32:22So, nice one.
0:32:22 > 0:32:25- And you're the only place in Australia producing...- Yeah.
0:32:25 > 0:32:28- ..the venom for the anti...? - The sole supplier in Australia.
0:32:28 > 0:32:32So if you were lucky enough to get nabbed anywhere along the way
0:32:32 > 0:32:35by a venomous snake, then guaranteed the anti-venom you will receive
0:32:35 > 0:32:39came from one of the snakes that you've worked with here.
0:32:39 > 0:32:42Nice to know, innit? Nice to know.
0:32:44 > 0:32:46'As if spending time with all these snakes wasn't enough,
0:32:46 > 0:32:50'Tim also collects venom from the deadly funnel-web spider.
0:32:52 > 0:32:55- 'Nutcase!'- Have you seen a funnel-web yet?- No.- No.
0:32:55 > 0:32:58Wait till you see this, it's a brilliant spider.
0:32:58 > 0:33:00I mean, to be fair, there's not a lot of competition
0:33:00 > 0:33:03when you're saying a brilliant... Oh, my God.
0:33:03 > 0:33:04It looks like a toy.
0:33:04 > 0:33:10OK. So that is a big female funnel-web spider.
0:33:10 > 0:33:12Ugh!
0:33:13 > 0:33:16When we touch her a little, we have to agitate her a tiny bit.
0:33:16 > 0:33:19- Now we have two fangs. - Ugh! Oh, yeah.
0:33:19 > 0:33:22Half a centimetre long and if you look closely,
0:33:22 > 0:33:24there's a tiny droplet of venom.
0:33:24 > 0:33:26- Oh, yeah, I can see it. - OK, you watching? OK.
0:33:26 > 0:33:29Now that's a little pipette, can you grab that out for me?
0:33:29 > 0:33:31Don't touch the end of the pipette.
0:33:31 > 0:33:34OK, now when we lift that up you're going to keep that hand far away
0:33:34 > 0:33:38and touch, just gently touch, the end of each fang.
0:33:38 > 0:33:39That's it, right in there.
0:33:39 > 0:33:43And so now you are collecting little pieces of venom.
0:33:43 > 0:33:47You can feel the strength of the fangs.
0:33:47 > 0:33:49- Again, that's it.- Oh, look at that!
0:33:49 > 0:33:52There you go. Now grab that venom.
0:33:52 > 0:33:54That's it.
0:33:54 > 0:33:57- There you go.- The thing is, they don't come looking for you
0:33:57 > 0:33:59while you're asleep in bed at night.
0:33:59 > 0:34:03So, whilst they're dangerous, I still love 'em.
0:34:03 > 0:34:04JOHN LAUGHS
0:34:04 > 0:34:08They don't come looking for you while you're asleep in bed.
0:34:08 > 0:34:12It's just that's a concept that had never entered me mind.
0:34:12 > 0:34:15Oh, shit! Oh shit! I touched the end. Oh, God, I've broke the funnel.
0:34:15 > 0:34:17That's OK, we've got hundreds.
0:34:17 > 0:34:20- I know but I've only got one hand. - You're all right.
0:34:20 > 0:34:23I'm less fond of a venom pipette than me hand.
0:34:23 > 0:34:26I'm a doctor after hours. You'll be fine.
0:34:26 > 0:34:28- It hasn't broke anything, has it?- No, no.
0:34:28 > 0:34:32See that, funnel-web spider on me hand, not bothered.
0:34:32 > 0:34:35Not bothered. Not bothered.
0:34:35 > 0:34:39The idea that you can go out into your garden
0:34:39 > 0:34:40and something can kill you...
0:34:42 > 0:34:45..that's what's different between here and home.
0:34:50 > 0:34:53It feels good to be back on the road, but some things never change.
0:34:53 > 0:34:55This is just how I live my life on tour,
0:34:55 > 0:34:57it's just that this time I've got a bike.
0:34:57 > 0:35:00So this is the motel I'm staying in.
0:35:00 > 0:35:02This is pretty standard for where we've been staying.
0:35:02 > 0:35:06The bike always stays in the room with me in case someone nicks it.
0:35:06 > 0:35:11I always give that a check over, unpack, pack, unpack, pack,
0:35:11 > 0:35:13unpack, pack.
0:35:13 > 0:35:17It's good, but it's also a little bit, at times, wearing.
0:35:17 > 0:35:21But that's part of what it's about, innit?
0:35:21 > 0:35:24That's a sock from a couple of days ago, surely,
0:35:24 > 0:35:27that's got mixed up somewhere and it hums.
0:35:27 > 0:35:29Fucking hell.
0:35:29 > 0:35:31It stinks.
0:35:40 > 0:35:42I already feel like I've seen more
0:35:42 > 0:35:44of this country than I did last time.
0:35:44 > 0:35:48On the first trip, I just stuck like a monorail to the Bruce Highway,
0:35:48 > 0:35:51completely missing out on some of the most stunning coastline
0:35:51 > 0:35:52in the world.
0:35:55 > 0:35:59I'm heading to the town of Forster to meet an old friend
0:35:59 > 0:36:01who spends his life out on the sea.
0:36:01 > 0:36:05It's a spectacular journey and for the last stretch,
0:36:05 > 0:36:10I'm riding between the ocean and the seemingly endless Wallis Lake.
0:36:14 > 0:36:16It's funny because at home I'm not a massive cyclist.
0:36:16 > 0:36:19I cycle with me mates now and again
0:36:19 > 0:36:22and that's weather-dependent and all the rest of it.
0:36:22 > 0:36:25But here, because I'm trying to recreate what I did then,
0:36:25 > 0:36:28I'm finding me mind's turning back to what it was like then.
0:36:28 > 0:36:31And it's... You find, cos there's long stretches of it,
0:36:31 > 0:36:35like, songs come into your head that you haven't heard for ages
0:36:35 > 0:36:36even songs you don't like.
0:36:36 > 0:36:40You know, and then you're also thinking of just people you know
0:36:40 > 0:36:42and wondering what they're up to.
0:36:42 > 0:36:46And there's loads of little moments where you realise you've not
0:36:46 > 0:36:49been thinking about anything.
0:36:49 > 0:36:53It's probably as close to meditation with pedals that you'll get.
0:37:12 > 0:37:13'I met Geoff Martin last time
0:37:13 > 0:37:16'when I called into his shop that he was working in.
0:37:16 > 0:37:20'We got talking and, in true Aussie fashion, he just invited me to stay
0:37:20 > 0:37:23'the night with him and his family. I rolled off the next morning
0:37:23 > 0:37:25'and I haven't seen him since...
0:37:25 > 0:37:28'but today Geoff said that he's got a bit of treat in store for me.'
0:37:28 > 0:37:30- Long time no see.- A very long time no see.- Yeah, yeah.- So how are you?
0:37:30 > 0:37:33- Good.- And your life's changed, hasn't it?
0:37:33 > 0:37:36- Our life's changed, your life's changed.- Just a bit, just a bit.
0:37:36 > 0:37:38Absolutely, yeah. So we've always...
0:37:38 > 0:37:41So when I met you in Taree, you were in a camping shop.
0:37:41 > 0:37:43- Yeah, a barbecue and camping shop.- Yeah.
0:37:43 > 0:37:47So, finished up with that in 2011, semi-retired.
0:37:47 > 0:37:50- And this is where I ended up. - Semi-retired?
0:37:50 > 0:37:52Yeah, it's fantastic fun.
0:37:52 > 0:37:56So we're going out to swim with some wild dolphins
0:37:56 > 0:37:58which should be fascinating.
0:37:58 > 0:38:01Oh, mate, I'm looking forward to that.
0:38:07 > 0:38:08Does anybody get seasick?
0:38:09 > 0:38:13I mean, it looks flat here, what's it like out there?
0:38:13 > 0:38:15Uh, not quite so flat.
0:38:22 > 0:38:25Now I get seasick on a pedalo on a duck pond,
0:38:25 > 0:38:27so I'm already having second thoughts.
0:38:29 > 0:38:32We've been told to keep our eye out for flocks of birds
0:38:32 > 0:38:36cos that apparently indicates where the dolphins are feeding.
0:38:36 > 0:38:38This is a brilliant idea...
0:38:38 > 0:38:41if you're not spending all your time trying to keep your breakfast in.
0:38:41 > 0:38:42Here it comes.
0:38:44 > 0:38:46I'm going in now, I think the dolphins are there.
0:38:46 > 0:38:47I can see it. Look.
0:38:49 > 0:38:50OK.
0:38:57 > 0:38:59So we're interacting now
0:38:59 > 0:39:03and they love playing with the boat, it's like an activity for them.
0:39:03 > 0:39:07The most important thing is to not make splashes, so don't kick.
0:39:07 > 0:39:10No kicking or anything as you're getting out there,
0:39:10 > 0:39:13just use your arms to pull yourself up.
0:39:13 > 0:39:15And the other important thing is to make squeaking noises
0:39:15 > 0:39:17through your snorkel, so...
0:39:17 > 0:39:20- SHE SQUEAKS THROUGH SNORKEL - Just like that, OK?
0:39:20 > 0:39:21Just do that for me for me?
0:39:21 > 0:39:24JOHN SQUEAKS THROUGH SNORKEL Your wetsuit's not small enough.
0:39:26 > 0:39:30- Ready, mate, straight in. - Straight in, pull yourself up.
0:39:30 > 0:39:32That's it.
0:39:32 > 0:39:34Don't kick, don't kick.
0:39:34 > 0:39:36Foot in the loop.
0:39:36 > 0:39:39Head down, that's the way. Keep it down, keep it down.
0:39:43 > 0:39:46JOHN YELLS IN WATER
0:39:51 > 0:39:53Sometimes in life you try something
0:39:53 > 0:39:55and then you find out that you're just no good at it.
0:39:55 > 0:39:59I'd just learnt that I wasn't as good at underwater yodelling
0:39:59 > 0:40:01as I thought I would be.
0:40:01 > 0:40:03The dolphins just aren't interested.
0:40:03 > 0:40:05Flippery bastards.
0:40:05 > 0:40:09What I needed to do was just go "Eeeeeeee."
0:40:10 > 0:40:14When the dolphins come back, I'm ready to give it another go.
0:40:14 > 0:40:16Nice and easy.
0:40:16 > 0:40:19- That's it.- Here they come, look down, look down, here they come.
0:40:32 > 0:40:34Wow! We're doing it.
0:40:48 > 0:40:51I think I've drank the whole sea.
0:40:51 > 0:40:54I've swallowed all of Australia's ocean.
0:41:08 > 0:41:09I have to be honest,
0:41:09 > 0:41:12I like looking at the sea more than I like being on it.
0:41:12 > 0:41:16I'm bouncing around and the sea sickness, that wasn't great,
0:41:16 > 0:41:18but the actual experience was brilliant.
0:41:18 > 0:41:22The closeness of the dolphins by the boat, that was good.
0:41:22 > 0:41:25Getting in the water and, uh...
0:41:25 > 0:41:27screaming like a madman whilst hanging on to a rope...
0:41:30 > 0:41:32"Eeeeeeeeeeeeeee."
0:41:32 > 0:41:34I think all the dolphins were just...
0:41:34 > 0:41:37I think they'd just come over to see who the lunatic is.
0:41:41 > 0:41:44In my eyes, coming as an outsider, in the 22 years,
0:41:44 > 0:41:48there seems to be a sense of being an Australian has changed.
0:41:48 > 0:41:50Mm-hm.
0:41:50 > 0:41:52You've only got to look at Shane Warne's face
0:41:52 > 0:41:54to see how much that's changed.
0:41:56 > 0:41:59That's true. Ah, look, it has changed, it's changed terribly.
0:41:59 > 0:42:05I mean, we in Australia hate to be labelled as the Stubbies
0:42:05 > 0:42:08and the blue singlet and the flip-flops.
0:42:08 > 0:42:10- Yeah, flip-flops.- That's it.
0:42:10 > 0:42:13We hate to think like that these days.
0:42:13 > 0:42:16None of us really are like that. There isn't any left.
0:42:16 > 0:42:21- I mean, we've learnt how to be snags, I guess, new-age...- Snags?
0:42:21 > 0:42:23...new-age guy, yeah. Sensitive new-age guys.
0:42:23 > 0:42:25Sensitive new-age guys?
0:42:29 > 0:42:34This looks like everyone's image of Australia
0:42:34 > 0:42:39and it looks like everyone's image of paradise and it is.
0:42:39 > 0:42:42The route that I've kind of taken now as opposed to the route
0:42:42 > 0:42:45that I did last time...
0:42:45 > 0:42:48I stayed about half an hour inland.
0:42:48 > 0:42:51I missed all of this, which was just mental.
0:42:51 > 0:42:57And you think, I want to grab hold of me 25-year-old self and say,
0:42:57 > 0:43:00"Slow down, you're missing everything,
0:43:00 > 0:43:03"you're in too much of a rush." At the time that I was here,
0:43:03 > 0:43:07I wasn't sure what I was going to go back to or if I should get married.
0:43:08 > 0:43:11But there was never a consideration that I'd stay in Australia.
0:43:11 > 0:43:13And it's not that I don't love it,
0:43:13 > 0:43:16it's just that the people I love aren't here.
0:43:20 > 0:43:25Leaving Forster, I head north on the road that I'd cycled on last time
0:43:25 > 0:43:28up to Port Macquarie.
0:43:28 > 0:43:32I'm reminded how it felt back then acclimatising,
0:43:32 > 0:43:37not to the wildlife of Australia or even the landscape or the heat,
0:43:37 > 0:43:39but to the loneliness.
0:43:39 > 0:43:44And it's that solitude that made me find some silly things amusing,
0:43:44 > 0:43:47it was the kind of thing that just kept me going.
0:43:47 > 0:43:48Daft things...
0:43:48 > 0:43:50like this sign.
0:43:54 > 0:43:56And when I was looking through me old photographs,
0:43:56 > 0:44:00there's a picture of me on me bike by this
0:44:00 > 0:44:01and so we've discovered it again,
0:44:01 > 0:44:03so I'm recreating it.
0:44:08 > 0:44:12Last time, that photo was the closest I got to a koala.
0:44:12 > 0:44:14So I'm heading further north to Port Macquarie
0:44:14 > 0:44:16to discover more about them.
0:44:16 > 0:44:20It's an animal I've always loved, it's a national symbol of Australia
0:44:20 > 0:44:23but it's also an animal that's suffered more than most
0:44:23 > 0:44:24by the invasion of man.
0:44:26 > 0:44:29Not only has it lost its natural habitat through building,
0:44:29 > 0:44:32it's also suffered from devastating bushfires,
0:44:32 > 0:44:35which has meant that in the last 20 years,
0:44:35 > 0:44:39the population of koalas in this region has dropped by two thirds.
0:44:42 > 0:44:44At the Koala Hospital in Port Macquarie,
0:44:44 > 0:44:48the volunteers are doing everything they can to save this iconic animal.
0:44:50 > 0:44:55Well, she was found abandoned, just found on the ground
0:44:55 > 0:44:57and no sign of her mother anywhere.
0:44:57 > 0:44:59- So...- So when, like, when you opened it then,
0:44:59 > 0:45:02her first thing was to reach out and grab you.
0:45:02 > 0:45:03Well, yeah.
0:45:03 > 0:45:06Is that their natural instinct, to hold on to somebody?
0:45:06 > 0:45:07Yeah, I'm her mother.
0:45:09 > 0:45:11How old is she?
0:45:11 > 0:45:14She's probably around eight or nine months.
0:45:17 > 0:45:18You know, people say to me,
0:45:18 > 0:45:22"When you rear a koala and then it comes over here,
0:45:22 > 0:45:25- "how can you let them go? I mean, I'd get too attached to them."- Yeah.
0:45:25 > 0:45:29And well, sure, you get attached to them but that's what you do it for.
0:45:29 > 0:45:31Do you want to see if he's friendly?
0:45:31 > 0:45:33Sniff his nose, nose-to-nose.
0:45:34 > 0:45:36- Hmm.- Hmm.- Oh, yeah.
0:45:36 > 0:45:38- What do you think? - That's all right.
0:45:38 > 0:45:40Sharp noise.
0:45:40 > 0:45:42See, I'm the koala whisperer.
0:45:50 > 0:45:54All the volunteers who handle these wild animals have been trained
0:45:54 > 0:45:57by wildlife biologist, Shane Flanagan.
0:45:57 > 0:45:58So what are we doing?
0:45:58 > 0:46:03We're doing an ultrasound to look at chlamydia.
0:46:03 > 0:46:05- So...- Oh, great(!)
0:46:05 > 0:46:07Yeah. Do you want to pop up on the table?
0:46:09 > 0:46:10Be quiet, dear.
0:46:10 > 0:46:12Wonder if he's a dog attack?
0:46:14 > 0:46:16- Oh.- Oh, oh, oh, hello.
0:46:16 > 0:46:19Ah, mate, you stink.
0:46:19 > 0:46:22- He does stink. - Oh, my goodness.
0:46:22 > 0:46:25- Oh, look at his bum.- Oh.
0:46:25 > 0:46:26- All right, let's see then.- Oh.
0:46:26 > 0:46:28Oh, my goodness.
0:46:30 > 0:46:32He hums, doesn't he?
0:46:32 > 0:46:35Eh?
0:46:35 > 0:46:37Is chlamydia a new disease to koalas,
0:46:37 > 0:46:40or is this always happened with them?
0:46:40 > 0:46:42It's always a disease you see expressed
0:46:42 > 0:46:44when there's disturbed habitat.
0:46:44 > 0:46:47You don't really see it in clean, healthy populations in the bush,
0:46:47 > 0:46:49so it's a stress-related illness.
0:46:49 > 0:46:52- Are they very territorial?- Yes.
0:46:52 > 0:46:54Yeah, all koalas are very territorial.
0:46:54 > 0:46:57They all have their specific home ranges that they stay with
0:46:57 > 0:46:58for their entire lives.
0:46:58 > 0:47:02- And hence why when we come along and rip out all the habitat...- Yeah.
0:47:02 > 0:47:04..why all these problems happen,
0:47:04 > 0:47:06because it's sort of... They become refugees, you know,
0:47:06 > 0:47:08they all end up piled on top of each other.
0:47:08 > 0:47:11And that'd be like you and all your neighbours, all of your houses
0:47:11 > 0:47:14bulldozed and you all had to move in down the road with other neighbours.
0:47:14 > 0:47:17They wouldn't like you all living in their backyards, would they?
0:47:17 > 0:47:19It's exactly the same with them.
0:47:19 > 0:47:23So, what I've got to do now is stick a swab right up inside his urethra
0:47:23 > 0:47:26which means going into his penis.
0:47:28 > 0:47:31Every male of every species now feels sorry for him.
0:47:33 > 0:47:36But every female gets great delight from doing this.
0:47:36 > 0:47:39There we are, here we have a male koala's penis.
0:47:39 > 0:47:43- What are you doing now, doing a swab to test it?- For chlamydia.
0:47:43 > 0:47:46And if he's got chlamydia, what would you give him, antibiotics?
0:47:46 > 0:47:48Yeah.
0:47:49 > 0:47:50See, back to bed again.
0:47:50 > 0:47:54So... you're not being too cruel?
0:47:54 > 0:47:58- I mean, that gets all tucked away? - See, I'm glad you noticed.
0:47:58 > 0:48:01Marsupials are back-to-front from placental mammals, which you are.
0:48:01 > 0:48:04You have yours round the other way.
0:48:04 > 0:48:08Koalas have their testicles on top and the penis underneath
0:48:08 > 0:48:11and the penis is tucked away nicely for protection.
0:48:11 > 0:48:16Wouldn't you like that? Marsupials tuck it away nicely for protection.
0:48:16 > 0:48:20Some people would say that it looks like I have got it tucked away.
0:48:22 > 0:48:23My wife thinks I'm a koala.
0:48:25 > 0:48:29Now you can go home and tell her, "I'm a marsupial."
0:48:29 > 0:48:32- And do they mate for life or is it...?- No!
0:48:32 > 0:48:36Of course they don't do that. What a stupid question that was.
0:48:36 > 0:48:38He's got a sexually transmitted disease.
0:48:38 > 0:48:40Does he mate for life?
0:48:40 > 0:48:42They're like all teenagers today who...
0:48:42 > 0:48:45- How about we leave it at that? - Spreading it around.- Yeah.- Yeah.
0:48:45 > 0:48:47No, they're all quite promiscuous.
0:48:48 > 0:48:50- Right, off?- Off.
0:48:50 > 0:48:53- Hey, wake up now. Hey, wake up. - Oh, oh, look at that.- Wake up.
0:48:56 > 0:48:57There you go, son.
0:49:01 > 0:49:03- That's the recovery ward.- Yeah.
0:49:03 > 0:49:05Is it? That basket?
0:49:05 > 0:49:07Yeah. Ah, works well.
0:49:15 > 0:49:18So what's the best thing about being here? Cos to me,
0:49:18 > 0:49:21it just seems a lovely place to spend time
0:49:21 > 0:49:25- but it's hard work as well, isn't it?- It is.
0:49:25 > 0:49:27- There's a lot involved to keep the hospital running.- Yeah.
0:49:27 > 0:49:31And so you're fundraising all year round just to keep it running.
0:49:31 > 0:49:34We get no funding from anybody so we have to raise...
0:49:34 > 0:49:38I think it's probably over 270,000 a year just to run this place.
0:49:38 > 0:49:41- Yeah, for all the bills. - And that's done by ourselves.
0:49:41 > 0:49:44We have a fundraising group that specialises in that,
0:49:44 > 0:49:47But our... And you can do this, you can adopt a koala before you go,
0:49:47 > 0:49:50because our adoptions are one of our biggest fundraisers
0:49:50 > 0:49:52to help this place go.
0:49:52 > 0:49:55You know what, the truth is I'm doing this trip
0:49:55 > 0:49:58- and the idea is I'm recreating a trip I did...- They were telling me.
0:49:58 > 0:50:01..when I was 25, before I got married,
0:50:01 > 0:50:03because I didn't want to marry this girl
0:50:03 > 0:50:05and then I got back and I married her.
0:50:05 > 0:50:08And we've been married now for 20 years
0:50:08 > 0:50:13and she's a wildlife enthusiast and it's her birthday tomorrow.
0:50:13 > 0:50:16- Oh.- So that's what I'll do for her birthday.- Ah.
0:50:16 > 0:50:18So I'm just going to, like,
0:50:18 > 0:50:22"Melanie, that's what I've got you for your birthday."
0:50:22 > 0:50:24Yeah? Not Barbara, the koala.
0:50:24 > 0:50:26THEY ALL LAUGH
0:50:30 > 0:50:33There's always going to be that battle about the humans
0:50:33 > 0:50:34wanting to live where animals live.
0:50:34 > 0:50:38And you've got to remember, you know, we're new to this habitat
0:50:38 > 0:50:40and every tree that's cut down has an effect.
0:50:40 > 0:50:45But the community support for this shows that people are conscious
0:50:45 > 0:50:49of it, they're not just steamrolling ahead with it.
0:50:49 > 0:50:51One of the things that strikes me about Australia
0:50:51 > 0:50:54is that you can never stop learning when you come here.
0:50:54 > 0:50:58Things are changing so rapidly for this country but a lot of that
0:50:58 > 0:51:02change has happened in the last 200 years since Europeans arrived.
0:51:02 > 0:51:05And it's very easy to forget that people have lived here
0:51:05 > 0:51:08for thousands of years before it was ever settled.
0:51:08 > 0:51:12For the aboriginals, this coast was rich with food and water
0:51:12 > 0:51:14and their people thrived.
0:51:16 > 0:51:20I'm heading further north, along the New South Wales coast,
0:51:20 > 0:51:21to Coffs Harbour,
0:51:21 > 0:51:25once one of the most important aboriginal settlements in Australia.
0:51:27 > 0:51:31It's home to the Gumbaynggirr, who are known as "the sharing people"
0:51:31 > 0:51:33and Mark Flanders is a tribal elder.
0:51:36 > 0:51:39My people have lived on this coastal section here
0:51:39 > 0:51:42we estimate probably the last 6,000, 8,000 years.
0:51:42 > 0:51:45So this idea that the aboriginal culture was nomadic,
0:51:45 > 0:51:47is that not really true?
0:51:47 > 0:51:49It depends on how many resources you have in the area.
0:51:49 > 0:51:52You got lots of food around, you're not going to go far at all,
0:51:52 > 0:51:54you're going to hang there a lot longer.
0:51:54 > 0:51:57But in general, we are quite nomadic, we are moving around country.
0:51:57 > 0:51:59We're going from one place to another
0:51:59 > 0:52:01- cos you know a ceremony is happening somewhere up the coast.- Yeah.
0:52:01 > 0:52:04You're going to pack up all the men, women and children,
0:52:04 > 0:52:05off you go up and practice ceremony
0:52:05 > 0:52:08and probably come back there in a couple of years' time.
0:52:08 > 0:52:11So we're always moving around but still coming back to country.
0:52:12 > 0:52:14So what's all this red rock?
0:52:14 > 0:52:17This is the soft ochre rock that my people used to crush up and make
0:52:17 > 0:52:21into paint for doing the ceremony, where they paint their bodies up.
0:52:21 > 0:52:23Presumably, it paints red?
0:52:23 > 0:52:28Yeah, you got red, you got your yellows, your browns, even white.
0:52:28 > 0:52:29- All comes out of this?- Yeah.
0:52:29 > 0:52:32And if you want it darker just add a bit of charcoal with it,
0:52:32 > 0:52:34so you get a wide range of colours.
0:52:34 > 0:52:37So can you show us a piece that you can do that with?
0:52:37 > 0:52:40Yeah, I'll get a bit of soft ochre up here and you can crush it up.
0:52:40 > 0:52:42Oh, wow, look at that, it's beautiful colours, innit?
0:52:42 > 0:52:44We'll find you a nice, soft piece, John.
0:52:44 > 0:52:47Give you that bit there and we'll get a hammer stone for you.
0:52:47 > 0:52:50- Just put it on there and just crush it up.- Just grind it, yeah?
0:52:50 > 0:52:53Yeah, just bang it, crush it.
0:52:53 > 0:52:56- And you get school kids doing this? - Yeah.
0:52:56 > 0:52:58Is this a new thing,
0:52:58 > 0:53:02- school excursions to study aboriginal culture?- Yeah.
0:53:02 > 0:53:06They're going home in a lot more positive mind-frame.
0:53:06 > 0:53:10And they're going home telling their parents about it, you know,
0:53:10 > 0:53:13and changing their parents' thoughts on aboriginal culture.
0:53:13 > 0:53:15- Yeah.- See, that's nice and fine there now.
0:53:15 > 0:53:17And what you do, just spit on it and...
0:53:17 > 0:53:19- I'll do it the authentic way. - That's the way.
0:53:19 > 0:53:22Cos obviously they had plastic bottles of water, didn't they...
0:53:22 > 0:53:24Oh, of course, yeah.
0:53:24 > 0:53:26..2,000 years ago. Of course they did.
0:53:29 > 0:53:31- There you are.- Yeah, that's the way.
0:53:31 > 0:53:35- So this is really the first example of a false tan?- Yes.
0:53:35 > 0:53:37Cos I do this and then I do that.
0:53:37 > 0:53:40That's it, look, you've got an instant Aussie tan now, huh.
0:53:40 > 0:53:43- Look at that, yeah.- Yeah. - It's St Tropez. Look at that.
0:53:43 > 0:53:46There's a lot of girls in Liverpool who'd pay a lot of money for this.
0:53:46 > 0:53:48They'd like that, eh.
0:53:53 > 0:53:55For thousands of years, they prospered
0:53:55 > 0:53:58and then the Europeans arrived in Coffs Harbour.
0:53:58 > 0:54:01They cut down the forest and fenced off the best land
0:54:01 > 0:54:04and took it all for themselves.
0:54:04 > 0:54:06But it was the way that they treated indigenous women
0:54:06 > 0:54:09in particular that triggered violence.
0:54:09 > 0:54:13A handful of settlers were killed but the reprisals were terrible.
0:54:13 > 0:54:16Local aboriginals were chased from their camp near Red Rock
0:54:16 > 0:54:19and massacred when they tried to swim to the beach.
0:54:22 > 0:54:24How many people are we talking?
0:54:24 > 0:54:27We're not really sure, we just know that it happened.
0:54:27 > 0:54:30Couldn't tell you any numbers at all
0:54:30 > 0:54:35but we just know that a couple of then, two, escaped to tell the story.
0:54:35 > 0:54:38- There's no excuse. - Yeah. No, you're right.
0:54:38 > 0:54:41We were on the flora and fauna list of Australia as just another species
0:54:41 > 0:54:44until 1967 when we had the referendum.
0:54:44 > 0:54:47You know, we were just regarded as animals.
0:54:47 > 0:54:49They had no respect for the country that we're on,
0:54:49 > 0:54:52let alone the people that were on that country.
0:54:52 > 0:54:55But we had to get onto it, we had to reconcile and say,
0:54:55 > 0:54:57"Yes, it happened."
0:54:57 > 0:55:00For reconciliation to happen, it takes that...
0:55:00 > 0:55:03I suppose that forgiveness, as well.
0:55:03 > 0:55:06- Forgiveness is part of it, yeah. - It's a big thing to have.- Mm.
0:55:06 > 0:55:08But we've got to get onto it.
0:55:08 > 0:55:11We're going to be here for a long time yet and so will our children.
0:55:11 > 0:55:13- Yeah.- And that's the main thing we have to promote,
0:55:13 > 0:55:16look after this landscape for our children.
0:55:16 > 0:55:19- You might come here and have kids here one day.- Mate.
0:55:19 > 0:55:23I was here 22 years ago, I'm just waiting to bump into a 21-year-old.
0:55:23 > 0:55:25Ah, you might, on that push-bike!
0:55:32 > 0:55:36As the light fades, Mark takes me to a special place
0:55:36 > 0:55:39normally reserved just for his people.
0:55:39 > 0:55:43So would this be the time of day that you'd be getting the stories
0:55:43 > 0:55:45- as a kid from the elders?- Yeah.
0:55:45 > 0:55:49When you're sitting down and relaxing round the campfire
0:55:49 > 0:55:52just learning about country, where you're from,
0:55:52 > 0:55:54where your boundaries are in your country.
0:55:54 > 0:55:57Explain Dreamtime to me, cos as I understand it,
0:55:57 > 0:56:01- it's the explanation of why we're here.- That's right.
0:56:01 > 0:56:06The old people say that when you're born onto this Earth
0:56:06 > 0:56:11and then live a life as we do now, you learn about your totems,
0:56:11 > 0:56:14the things that you will specialise here.
0:56:14 > 0:56:18So your totem is the thing that you know most about in your mob?
0:56:18 > 0:56:20Yeah, well, it's my...
0:56:20 > 0:56:22Would have been passed on down through me family.
0:56:22 > 0:56:26My grandmother's totem is fire, so you got to learn about fire.
0:56:26 > 0:56:28I love fire, I love being around it.
0:56:30 > 0:56:32So you learn about your totem here on Earth.
0:56:32 > 0:56:34You go through your stages of learning,
0:56:34 > 0:56:36gathering all that knowledge and passing it on.
0:56:36 > 0:56:39Then you will die, the old people will come and get you,
0:56:39 > 0:56:40take you back to the Dreaming.
0:56:40 > 0:56:43That's why you often hear the old people say,
0:56:43 > 0:56:47"Oh, we've been here forever, our spirit has been here forever."
0:56:47 > 0:56:51- Could you ever see yourself living anywhere else?- I couldn't.
0:56:51 > 0:56:54I have lived in other places in Australia
0:56:54 > 0:56:57but something drew me back home again
0:56:57 > 0:57:00and I want to come back to me own country, me homeland.
0:57:00 > 0:57:03I'll be here forever. I love this place so much.
0:57:05 > 0:57:07Well, if you're here in 22 years' time,
0:57:07 > 0:57:09I might be passing by on a bike again.
0:57:09 > 0:57:11I hope you do, mate, yeah.
0:57:11 > 0:57:13Can't guarantee it, I've got to be honest.
0:57:15 > 0:57:16Oh, mate.
0:57:19 > 0:57:21- Do you want milk?- I don't have milk.
0:57:21 > 0:57:25All right, let's have it without milk.
0:57:25 > 0:57:29- Cheers, John, all the best, mate. - Cheers, Mark, all the best, mate.
0:57:29 > 0:57:32- Thanks for a great day. - All right, thank you.
0:57:32 > 0:57:34Ah, that's nice.
0:57:37 > 0:57:42Next time, I head further north into the heartland of Australia.
0:57:42 > 0:57:44I haven't eaten meat for 27 years.
0:57:44 > 0:57:48Well, you should be ashamed of yourself, John.
0:57:48 > 0:57:49Beautiful.
0:57:49 > 0:57:51He's not moved since he arrived.
0:57:51 > 0:57:53Oh, shit!
0:57:53 > 0:57:55It's just Australian, innit, you know what I mean?