0:00:02 > 0:00:05John Thomson and Simon Day have been friends for over 20 years...
0:00:05 > 0:00:10- Such a good holiday, though. - We're free spirits.- Very lonely.
0:00:10 > 0:00:13..ever since they rose to fame as part of The Fast Show
0:00:13 > 0:00:15in the early '90s.
0:00:15 > 0:00:18What everyone's always wanted to do was build a robot that
0:00:18 > 0:00:22- thinks like a human.- You mean it can't always make up its mind?- No.
0:00:22 > 0:00:25Today they're both married with children,
0:00:25 > 0:00:28enjoying lives of middle-aged responsibility.
0:00:28 > 0:00:31But for three weeks, they've got the chance to become the free spirits
0:00:31 > 0:00:36they once were, learning the ways of the gaucho in Argentina.
0:00:36 > 0:00:41The rugged cowboy, national icon, symbol of freedom and courage.
0:00:44 > 0:00:47The poncho of freedom. Hell yeah, I want to go there.
0:00:47 > 0:00:50Unplugging yourself, no iPads, no iPhone.
0:00:50 > 0:00:52It's a chance to get away from technology.
0:00:52 > 0:00:55They've already had a week of intensive training
0:00:55 > 0:00:56in the sub-tropical north.
0:00:56 > 0:01:00We look like sort of security guards.
0:01:00 > 0:01:04Now they're doing it for real in the wilds of Patagonia
0:01:04 > 0:01:06on a three-day-and-night cattle drive.
0:01:08 > 0:01:11With the correct embrocation, I'll be all right.
0:01:12 > 0:01:17The journey from city slicker to macho gaucho will be testing...
0:01:17 > 0:01:20- Right, honesty time, right? This is becoming hellish.- Yes.
0:01:20 > 0:01:22..and not without peril...
0:01:24 > 0:01:30..as two friends, two amigos, attempt to find the gaucho within.
0:01:30 > 0:01:32# Short of leg and large of head
0:01:32 > 0:01:35# Brave of heart and kind of soul
0:01:35 > 0:01:39# John Thomson will meet his goal to ride a little horse. #
0:01:47 > 0:01:49MUSIC: "Pass The Dutchie" by Musical Youth
0:01:49 > 0:01:53# This generation rules the nation
0:01:53 > 0:01:55# With iration
0:01:57 > 0:02:00# Music happen to be the food of love
0:02:00 > 0:02:04# Sounds to really make you rub and scrub... #
0:02:05 > 0:02:09Argentina's newest gauchos are on their way to report for duty.
0:02:11 > 0:02:14# I said pass the dutchie on the left hand side
0:02:14 > 0:02:16# I said pass the dutchie on the left hand side... #
0:02:18 > 0:02:21Can't wait to get back on a horse.
0:02:21 > 0:02:25- Set up camp near a stream and all that.- I hope we do that, yeah.
0:02:25 > 0:02:28I think we will. They'll know where looks good.
0:02:28 > 0:02:31- They're not going to camp... - What, next to the road?
0:02:34 > 0:02:37John and Simon are joining a team of tradition gauchos
0:02:37 > 0:02:42to bring 200 cattle down a mountain pass over three days and nights.
0:02:42 > 0:02:45It's a far cry from life back home.
0:02:45 > 0:02:49You can't get him camping even in the back garden.
0:02:49 > 0:02:52Walls would be good, though, if we were surrounded by walls.
0:02:52 > 0:02:54- Torch. - HOWLS LIKE ANIMAL
0:02:54 > 0:02:58The maximum he'll go to the park with the kids is an hour.
0:02:58 > 0:03:00I don't know how good he is at roughing it, though.
0:03:00 > 0:03:02He's never been away for three weeks before.
0:03:02 > 0:03:06In fact, I think the longest he's been away is kind of
0:03:06 > 0:03:08three nights, really, maybe five at the most.
0:03:08 > 0:03:09Where's my glasses?
0:03:09 > 0:03:12I need them to see. I can't see a thing, you know.
0:03:12 > 0:03:16Never knew you wore glasses. We're old now, aren't we?
0:03:16 > 0:03:18His beard is very white.
0:03:19 > 0:03:22John's very camp, so it's going to be interesting to see him
0:03:22 > 0:03:26in a kind of testosterone-filled environment.
0:03:26 > 0:03:31- What do you think, guys? Is Daddy adventurous?- Pretty much, yeah.
0:03:31 > 0:03:33- I need a wee, actually, soon. - Do you? I'll stop.
0:03:33 > 0:03:36I said he won't survive without a phone probably,
0:03:36 > 0:03:39but he said, "No, be one with nature and all that."
0:03:41 > 0:03:44Wow! Looks like Iceland... but better.
0:03:48 > 0:03:50From their training ranch in the north,
0:03:50 > 0:03:54John and Simon have travelled 1,500 miles to the foothills
0:03:54 > 0:03:58of the Andes Mountains in Argentina's southernmost region,
0:03:58 > 0:04:02Patagonia, an area four times the size of the UK.
0:04:03 > 0:04:06One of the last corners of the world to be colonised,
0:04:06 > 0:04:08it doesn't get much more rugged than this.
0:04:12 > 0:04:14Could be on our way to Chesterfield, across the peaks.
0:04:16 > 0:04:18For centuries, it's been a place to escape to,
0:04:18 > 0:04:24and 100 years before John and Simon another daring duo ventured here.
0:04:24 > 0:04:26Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid.
0:04:26 > 0:04:28I did say to my wife, I said,
0:04:28 > 0:04:31"Oh, we're going to Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid's ranch."
0:04:31 > 0:04:34She went, "No way!" Cos there are those out there that will
0:04:34 > 0:04:37think that they were just Hollywood creations.
0:04:42 > 0:04:44Oh.
0:04:47 > 0:04:48Here we are.
0:04:50 > 0:04:54- Hope it's not this. - No, I hope it's not that.
0:04:54 > 0:04:57- That's just a hut.- This isn't it? - No.- Are you sure?
0:04:57 > 0:05:01You couldn't get three people in there and a lot of weapons.
0:05:01 > 0:05:05- It's down here, this way. - This isn't it?- Come on.
0:05:08 > 0:05:14In 1901, having become America's most infamous criminals,
0:05:14 > 0:05:16Robert Parker and Harry Longabaugh,
0:05:16 > 0:05:19AKA Butch and Sundance, vanished in Patagonia.
0:05:21 > 0:05:24Joined by Sundance's partner Etta,
0:05:24 > 0:05:27they hid out at this low-key ranch near the town of Cholila.
0:05:32 > 0:05:34Er, they left America and they came here
0:05:34 > 0:05:36and they became folk heroes here.
0:05:36 > 0:05:41They were very popular in the area, they did lots for the community.
0:05:41 > 0:05:44They didn't do any robberies for quite a while and then
0:05:44 > 0:05:45they started doing robberies,
0:05:45 > 0:05:48but all criminals have a dream of going straight, don't they?
0:05:48 > 0:05:51But of course, they never do. Well, some do.
0:05:51 > 0:05:54IMITATES CREAKING DOOR
0:05:57 > 0:05:59- Simple.- Simple.- Simple home.
0:05:59 > 0:06:01There's a chair, there, look. Mud floor.
0:06:03 > 0:06:06Bird poop. These are the...
0:06:06 > 0:06:09This is where they hung their Le Creuset pots.
0:06:09 > 0:06:11- Hey.- Oh, yeah, look.
0:06:12 > 0:06:16- Look at that.- This hole is for resting a gun on.
0:06:16 > 0:06:20Hollywood's 1969 retelling of the Butch and Sundance story
0:06:20 > 0:06:22is revered by many as a classic
0:06:22 > 0:06:26and, for some, a visit to their ranch is a pilgrimage.
0:06:26 > 0:06:27Yeah, the film was brilliant
0:06:27 > 0:06:30and I queued around the block to see it with my dad.
0:06:30 > 0:06:33- Got in to see it...- Saw it so long ago.- It was brilliant.
0:06:33 > 0:06:36- I think I saw it one Christmas. - It was a little bit erotic.
0:06:36 > 0:06:39- It was exciting. It was funny. - I'll have to see it again, you know.
0:06:39 > 0:06:43Everything. Those two performances are enshrined in my childhood memory,
0:06:43 > 0:06:45as much as Sean Connery being in Bond, as being perfect.
0:06:45 > 0:06:47I was looking at stills from the film,
0:06:47 > 0:06:49though, the ginger moustache on Robert Redford.
0:06:49 > 0:06:51There is a little touch of Keith Lemon about him.
0:06:53 > 0:06:56No. It's sacrilege for you to say that.
0:06:57 > 0:07:00It was one of the best films I ever saw as a kid.
0:07:00 > 0:07:04I might have a little ceremony over here in a minute.
0:07:04 > 0:07:06I'm sure they'll do it again soon, Butch Cassidy and Sundance.
0:07:06 > 0:07:09- Oh, I hope not.- Perhaps when someone sees this, it'll fire them up.
0:07:09 > 0:07:12- What, you and me? - Let's try and sell that in Hollywood!
0:07:12 > 0:07:16AMERICAN ACCENT: "These guys, they're too old,
0:07:16 > 0:07:19"they're not buff, I don't get it!"
0:07:19 > 0:07:23The renowned robbers eventually fled Argentina for Bolivia.
0:07:23 > 0:07:25It's claimed they died in a shootout in 1908,
0:07:25 > 0:07:28but their bodies were never found.
0:07:28 > 0:07:31With the help of their translator, Gloria,
0:07:31 > 0:07:35John and Simon recreate an iconic moment in Patagonia's history.
0:07:47 > 0:07:51They press on and eventually reach the farming town of Trevelin,
0:07:51 > 0:07:55where they'll meet the head gaucho who'll be leading the cattle drive.
0:07:55 > 0:07:58- Trevelin.- There we are. Perfect.
0:08:00 > 0:08:02It's a small town of 6,000,
0:08:02 > 0:08:07similar to others in Patagonia in many respects, but with a twist.
0:08:07 > 0:08:08It's Welsh.
0:08:09 > 0:08:13In the 19th century, Argentina needed immigrants from Europe
0:08:13 > 0:08:16to populate this desolate region.
0:08:16 > 0:08:19In 1865, the first Welsh settlers arrived.
0:08:21 > 0:08:25150 men, women and children seeking to create an enclave
0:08:25 > 0:08:29on farming land they'd been told was similar to the Welsh lowlands.
0:08:31 > 0:08:37In 1888, they founded Trevelin, Welsh for "mill town".
0:08:37 > 0:08:41And by 1900, over 4,000 Welsh were in Patagonia.
0:08:42 > 0:08:45The Celtic heritage continues.
0:08:45 > 0:08:4910% of the population here have Welsh as their first language.
0:08:49 > 0:08:53Many road names are Welsh and today it's even raining.
0:08:55 > 0:08:58John and Simon's debut as working gauchos begins tomorrow
0:08:58 > 0:09:01so, for now, it's their choice of R&R.
0:09:05 > 0:09:06Breads with butter.
0:09:08 > 0:09:12- Hot scones.- Hot scones? Oh, lovely.
0:09:12 > 0:09:15Jam and chocolate cake, coffee cake,
0:09:15 > 0:09:18apple cake, cream cake.
0:09:18 > 0:09:20And Welsh cake.
0:09:38 > 0:09:41- La cha?- Gracias.
0:09:42 > 0:09:46- Oh, it's very moist. I didn't think...- Yeah, it's nice.
0:09:46 > 0:09:48Oh, that is gorgeous.
0:09:49 > 0:09:51"Will you marry me?"
0:09:52 > 0:09:56You know me, I love my puddings. That's very nice.
0:09:56 > 0:09:58We feel a bit Welsher now, with this weather.
0:09:58 > 0:10:01- With the weather and the tea. - This looks interesting.
0:10:01 > 0:10:04It's custard tart, it's what me nan used to call a wet nelly.
0:10:10 > 0:10:15- It's cheesecake. There's cheese. What's wrong?- It's cream.
0:10:16 > 0:10:18Excuse me.
0:10:20 > 0:10:22It's so unlike you to do that.
0:10:24 > 0:10:32John has ingested cream. A substance he neither likes nor ever eats.
0:10:33 > 0:10:35You sure your nan didn't call you a wet nelly
0:10:35 > 0:10:37after you've had a bit of cream?
0:10:37 > 0:10:41See here, you won't get wet nellys much wetter than that.
0:10:41 > 0:10:44A large plate of Welsh cakes is the last treat before they're
0:10:44 > 0:10:48back in the saddle for three days riding in the mountains.
0:10:48 > 0:10:49We can't wait.
0:10:49 > 0:10:51Me and Simon were only just saying we can't wait to get
0:10:51 > 0:10:57back on a horse and there's no irony or sarcasm in that comment.
0:10:57 > 0:10:59Just before I left, I was in Wales, oddly enough.
0:10:59 > 0:11:02There was about 12 people in the room and a bloke said,
0:11:02 > 0:11:03"Have you ridden before?"
0:11:03 > 0:11:06I said, "I've had two lessons." And he went, "You'll be fine."
0:11:06 > 0:11:09And the whole place burst out laughing and everyone went...
0:11:09 > 0:11:12And I was like, "Ha-ha... Hm, they're right, actually."
0:11:14 > 0:11:18It's John and Simon's last night of comfort.
0:11:18 > 0:11:22Tomorrow, their new boss will collect them at first light.
0:11:26 > 0:11:29Wardrobe, wardrobe. Wardrobe.
0:11:30 > 0:11:34- IN CAMP VOICE:- Sorry, Simon. Let me get the lint roller out.
0:11:34 > 0:11:37Yeah, all right, John. That's done. You're done now.
0:11:39 > 0:11:41So I've got some wipes in my bag.
0:11:41 > 0:11:44There was a bit of a dilemma as what to take, because Simon went,
0:11:44 > 0:11:49"Oh, I'll just have me toothbrush and me toothpaste."
0:11:49 > 0:11:52But I just put the whole thing in but if I am going to moisturise,
0:11:52 > 0:11:55it will be secret, and I will have to go behind a bush because I don't
0:11:55 > 0:11:58think the gauchos will take too kindly to a man that moisturises.
0:11:58 > 0:12:02What I've tried to do is leave everything from the 21st century
0:12:02 > 0:12:06behind, with the exception of one phone to contact my family
0:12:06 > 0:12:08if we're lucky enough to get a signal.
0:12:08 > 0:12:10Your phone has the whole of the 21st century on it.
0:12:10 > 0:12:12I've never seen a phone with so much on it.
0:12:12 > 0:12:15It's literally, you can do anything on it.
0:12:15 > 0:12:18You can ski on it, you can surfboard on it, it's got 20 different booths
0:12:18 > 0:12:22which can change your face to a monkey, into a nun, into a vampire...
0:12:22 > 0:12:26The head honcho who'll lead the drive is Alejandro Jones.
0:12:26 > 0:12:32- He's very young.- A fifth-generation Welsh gaucho.- Bom dia.- Bom dia.
0:12:35 > 0:12:38- Ola.- He's a young man.- Alejandro. - John.- John?- Yes.- Nice to meet you.
0:12:38 > 0:12:40Nice to meet you. Hello.
0:12:40 > 0:12:43- Simon. How you doing? - Alejandro.- Hi, how you doing?
0:12:50 > 0:12:54- So what do you do for a living?- I'm an actor.- Actor?- Yeah. And comedian.
0:12:54 > 0:12:56Yeah, you'd never know it, though.
0:12:56 > 0:12:58THEY LAUGH
0:12:59 > 0:13:03Alejandro drives John and Simon to the start of the cattle drive,
0:13:03 > 0:13:0850 miles south, to land high in the mountains near Corcovado.
0:13:09 > 0:13:13It's here that 200 cattle have been grazing on rich summer pastures
0:13:13 > 0:13:16but, with winter coming, they must return to the sheltered land
0:13:16 > 0:13:19of the family's 300-acre farm at Trevelin.
0:13:21 > 0:13:24So, it's a two-hour drive to Corcavado,
0:13:24 > 0:13:27but it will be a three-day ride back to Trevelin.
0:13:27 > 0:13:31A rugged trail over mountain passes, crossing rivers
0:13:31 > 0:13:33and camping in the wilderness.
0:13:35 > 0:13:39- So does this land here belong to..? - To my family, yeah.
0:13:41 > 0:13:44- Since my great-grandfather.- Wow.
0:13:44 > 0:13:48Alejandro's ancestry goes back to the very first Welsh settlers.
0:13:48 > 0:13:51His great-great-grandfather, John Daniel Evans,
0:13:51 > 0:13:53was just five years old when he arrived.
0:13:53 > 0:13:55Here we are.
0:13:58 > 0:14:02The cattle drive is a vital part of Alejandro's livelihood
0:14:02 > 0:14:05so he must be confident that John and Simon are up to the task.
0:14:05 > 0:14:10First I'm going to see how they do by the horse.
0:14:10 > 0:14:12IN AMERICAN ACCENT: You wanna see my ass?
0:14:16 > 0:14:18I'll pass on that one.
0:14:18 > 0:14:23They are going to help me or they are going to make me work.
0:14:23 > 0:14:26- Let's saddle.- Saddle up.
0:14:26 > 0:14:29- These horses have names?- Lobito. - Ah, they have names?
0:14:29 > 0:14:32Yes, Lobito is little wolf.
0:14:32 > 0:14:37- What's this horses name?- Oscuro. - Oscuro?- Oscuro.- Means dark.
0:14:39 > 0:14:43They'll be riding on traditional gaucho saddles known as recardos.
0:14:43 > 0:14:46- A welcome mat?- Colour coded.- Yeah.
0:14:47 > 0:14:51Gauchos use two layers of sheepskin for extra comfort.
0:14:51 > 0:14:54It's not uncommon to ride for ten hours a day.
0:14:56 > 0:15:00I hope the horses are strong enough for them.
0:15:00 > 0:15:01Because it depends.
0:15:01 > 0:15:09I've seen many gauchos, big boys, and not slim at all.
0:15:09 > 0:15:14We have tough horses and I hope they match.
0:15:17 > 0:15:19Oh, you didn't put an assist stirrup on. OK.
0:15:22 > 0:15:25- It's long.- I have short legs.
0:15:25 > 0:15:27The helmets and back protectors, however,
0:15:27 > 0:15:30are not standard-issue gaucho kit.
0:15:30 > 0:15:33- It's against bullets? - Yes, as well from...
0:15:33 > 0:15:37- It's good to be sure. - ..snipers.- Yeah.
0:15:40 > 0:15:42Come on, girl.
0:15:42 > 0:15:43- Boy.- Boy. Sorry.
0:15:43 > 0:15:48You must have the technique for riding to help the horse
0:15:48 > 0:15:51and be as one thing, the horse, the saddle, the gaucho.
0:15:54 > 0:16:01You don't have to be on the horse like a potato spack.
0:16:01 > 0:16:03Say that again?!
0:16:03 > 0:16:05- Oh, a potato sack!- Sack. Sorry, sack.
0:16:05 > 0:16:07- Like a potato sack.- You know, like this.- Yes, I do.
0:16:10 > 0:16:14- Oh, it started coming off.- What did? - The saddle.- Your saddle did?
0:16:14 > 0:16:15It started slipping.
0:16:15 > 0:16:17They need time in the saddle
0:16:17 > 0:16:24and tomorrow we will have too much time all through the day.
0:16:25 > 0:16:29Alejandro must collect a few cattle from the woods before the drive
0:16:29 > 0:16:34can begin tomorrow so it's the first outing for his full team.
0:16:34 > 0:16:39Experienced hands Wanny and Diego and newbies John and Simon.
0:16:40 > 0:16:43It's like, "Oh, you've been trained. This is what you're doing."
0:16:43 > 0:16:47There's no like, "You're holding your reins too long or do this, do that."
0:16:47 > 0:16:50It's like, "You, as far as I'm concerned, are trained.
0:16:50 > 0:16:51"Let's get busy."
0:16:52 > 0:16:55But I'm just warning you now, don't expect any heroics.
0:17:00 > 0:17:04GAUCHOS WHISTLE
0:17:14 > 0:17:18DOGS BARK
0:17:19 > 0:17:22COWS MOO
0:17:25 > 0:17:28It's clear that their horses are more lively than the ones
0:17:28 > 0:17:31they trained on in the north.
0:17:31 > 0:17:33Hey, hey.
0:17:33 > 0:17:35Whoa, whoa, whoa.
0:17:37 > 0:17:39Horses are alive, you know.
0:17:39 > 0:17:40You've got to lick them into shape,
0:17:40 > 0:17:42otherwise they'll throw you off, man.
0:17:42 > 0:17:46That was scary because two things happened.
0:17:46 > 0:17:51It hears the dogs bark, it hears the other horses. It's used to going.
0:17:53 > 0:17:56They don't know they've got two novices on their backs so soon as
0:17:56 > 0:18:00they hear "Whayyyy" and "ruff ruff", off they go and they're like...
0:18:00 > 0:18:03- I mean.- You've got holes like that, you've got uneven territory.
0:18:03 > 0:18:05You've got giant moles here that are called tukka-tukka.
0:18:05 > 0:18:07Giant moles that dig... Come here, look at this here.
0:18:07 > 0:18:09- Yeah, show us some holes.- Come here.
0:18:11 > 0:18:12Massive.
0:18:12 > 0:18:15And what happens is the horse puts its foot in that and it goes,
0:18:15 > 0:18:17it panics and goes straight into a gallop.
0:18:17 > 0:18:20It's about balance, isn't it? And we haven't got that.
0:18:20 > 0:18:23You've got to focus for a long time.
0:18:23 > 0:18:27I just want to get the confidence I had in the Pampas here.
0:18:27 > 0:18:30You won't get the confidence you had in the Pampas if a trail's like that.
0:18:30 > 0:18:34We rode up a hill, smooth as smooth.
0:18:34 > 0:18:39Rattled by the challenge that lies ahead, there's more disturbing news.
0:18:39 > 0:18:41Tonight the sleeping arrangements involve
0:18:41 > 0:18:43top and tailing with the herd.
0:18:43 > 0:18:46- COWS MOO LOUDLY - Can you hear this?
0:18:49 > 0:18:54I have a point of concern about the proximity of the beast...
0:18:54 > 0:18:58- The gush urine.- ..and the proximity of the ear
0:18:58 > 0:19:04and the gushing...the gushing flow of the cow through the gap.
0:19:04 > 0:19:08I don't really want to be urinated on in the middle of the night.
0:19:09 > 0:19:13I'm really concerned though because on this terrain you've got to be
0:19:13 > 0:19:16on a horse with all your functions working, all your senses.
0:19:16 > 0:19:18If I don't get a night's sleep, I'm going to be very,
0:19:18 > 0:19:20very scared on a horse tomorrow.
0:19:22 > 0:19:26So after some lamb cooked asado, the traditional gaucho way over
0:19:26 > 0:19:30an open fire, John and Simon decide to preserve their energy.
0:19:30 > 0:19:35Tonight, they'll have one more good night's sleep in a nearby lodge.
0:19:35 > 0:19:36So yeah, we're a bit chipper now
0:19:36 > 0:19:38because it's our last night in a warm room.
0:19:39 > 0:19:42But tomorrow night we will be sleeping al fresco.
0:19:42 > 0:19:44COWS MOO LOUDLY
0:19:54 > 0:19:56Early in the morning back at camp
0:19:56 > 0:20:00Alejandro runs through what lies ahead for the first day's drive.
0:20:03 > 0:20:06We are going, and then this path here...
0:20:06 > 0:20:09Heading north through the forest, they'll follow a track
0:20:09 > 0:20:11climbing higher all morning
0:20:11 > 0:20:13before breaking onto a plateau,
0:20:13 > 0:20:16on the far side of which lies the evening's camp.
0:20:16 > 0:20:18Roughly a 20-mile trek all in.
0:20:19 > 0:20:21That's a good number.
0:20:21 > 0:20:26It's supposed a cow can walk eight leagues,
0:20:26 > 0:20:28that's 40 kilometres.
0:20:28 > 0:20:29OK.
0:20:29 > 0:20:31They're pretty fit, them cows.
0:20:31 > 0:20:35They know they are going to the better fields in winter.
0:20:35 > 0:20:37They know they cannot stay here.
0:20:37 > 0:20:40Sometimes we start from here with snow, and that's better
0:20:40 > 0:20:43because they want to go.
0:20:43 > 0:20:46- They're migrating.- Yeah.
0:20:48 > 0:20:5020 miles.
0:20:50 > 0:20:54I mean, I've been probably a mile on a pony trek with the kids
0:20:54 > 0:20:56where we're led, if that.
0:20:59 > 0:21:01All right?
0:21:01 > 0:21:02Hey!
0:21:08 > 0:21:11That feels comfy today. That's cos he's not moving yet, isn't it?
0:21:17 > 0:21:19- Yeah, it's good.- Fine? - Yeah, yeah, good.
0:21:28 > 0:21:32For the next three days, this will be John and Simon's world.
0:21:34 > 0:21:36200 head of cattle
0:21:36 > 0:21:39made up of 100 calves and 100 mums
0:21:39 > 0:21:42will be persuaded back to Trevelin
0:21:42 > 0:21:46by five horses, five gauchos and eight dogs.
0:21:48 > 0:21:53Increasingly, farmers in this area use cattle trucks for such journeys.
0:21:53 > 0:21:55Alejandro is one of the few
0:21:55 > 0:21:56still moving his cattle
0:21:56 > 0:21:58in the traditional way.
0:22:02 > 0:22:04- Nice weather!- Yeah.
0:22:04 > 0:22:05Yes, just like Manchester.
0:22:05 > 0:22:08- So British, yeah!- Home from home!
0:22:20 > 0:22:22SHOUTING
0:22:22 > 0:22:26For the first few hours, all seems to be going to plan.
0:22:26 > 0:22:29It's quite tranquil when you're trotting through.
0:22:29 > 0:22:32And personally, I can imagine physically,
0:22:32 > 0:22:35in terms of the legs, this time tomorrow
0:22:35 > 0:22:37it'll be a different kettle of fish.
0:22:44 > 0:22:47Yeah, I like when the scenery changes, though.
0:22:47 > 0:22:50That track with the low bushes for ages and ages and ages
0:22:50 > 0:22:52has become a little bit monotonous.
0:22:52 > 0:22:54But it's almost quite meditative.
0:22:55 > 0:22:58CATTLE LOW
0:23:02 > 0:23:05Saddles need constant tightening.
0:23:05 > 0:23:07John's is becoming loose.
0:23:07 > 0:23:08It's going so well, isn't it?
0:23:09 > 0:23:12I was keeping a few in line and I came off the bank
0:23:12 > 0:23:13and I could feel the saddle go, whoop!
0:23:13 > 0:23:16But they spot these things in time.
0:23:20 > 0:23:21OK.
0:23:27 > 0:23:28Simon, full gallop.
0:23:28 > 0:23:29You what?
0:23:29 > 0:23:31I'm on full gallop.
0:23:31 > 0:23:32Cool.
0:23:32 > 0:23:34So you know, when it does go to trot,
0:23:34 > 0:23:36the impact on the old scrotum is...
0:23:36 > 0:23:38Ha-ha!
0:23:38 > 0:23:40..it's so full-on.
0:23:40 > 0:23:43I have a very small scrotum so I don't have to worry about it.
0:23:43 > 0:23:45I've had it shrunk.
0:23:45 > 0:23:47For this very purpose. Freeze-dried.
0:23:47 > 0:23:48Exactly!
0:23:51 > 0:23:53Alejandro calls time for a stop.
0:23:53 > 0:23:55MAN CALLS OUT IN SPANISH
0:24:12 > 0:24:13Oh!
0:24:13 > 0:24:15ALEJANDRO LAUGHS
0:24:15 > 0:24:16Ah!
0:24:16 > 0:24:17Oy!
0:24:22 > 0:24:24Finito, si?
0:24:24 > 0:24:25THEY LAUGH
0:24:25 > 0:24:27We stay here?
0:24:27 > 0:24:28Get wood, fire.
0:24:30 > 0:24:31DOG'S BARK ECHOES
0:24:33 > 0:24:34OK.
0:24:35 > 0:24:40A quick gaucho head count reveals that the team has expanded.
0:24:40 > 0:24:43One thing that I found very strange is,
0:24:43 > 0:24:47a mystery gaucho would appear from nowhere, next to me.
0:24:47 > 0:24:48I'd go, "Who are you?"
0:24:48 > 0:24:52A guy who looked like Dom DeLuise appeared, who I'd never seen before,
0:24:52 > 0:24:56and then the dogs started to, like, multiply.
0:24:56 > 0:24:59I don't know. It's kind of like, "But where did he come from?"
0:24:59 > 0:25:01Unlike the vast estancias in the north,
0:25:01 > 0:25:03with many thousand head of cattle,
0:25:03 > 0:25:07in the foothills of the Andes, cattle farms and their herds
0:25:07 > 0:25:09are much smaller, usually just a few hundred.
0:25:11 > 0:25:14The three-day cattle drive will go through seven farms in all,
0:25:14 > 0:25:17the owners of which are the mystery gauchos,
0:25:17 > 0:25:20catching up with Alejandro as he passes through.
0:25:20 > 0:25:21It's just occurred to me...
0:25:21 > 0:25:25- It's just sort of a neighbourly thing to do.- How lovely is that?
0:25:25 > 0:25:28Not as you might get in the UK -
0:25:28 > 0:25:31"Oi, you! Get off moi la-and!"
0:25:31 > 0:25:33"Who's built a public footpath here?
0:25:33 > 0:25:36"I should have a word with the council."
0:25:36 > 0:25:38Alejandro, let me ask you, how are we doing so far?
0:25:38 > 0:25:41Forget last night. How are we doing?
0:25:41 > 0:25:43Yeah, I couldn't say about last night!
0:25:43 > 0:25:45SIMON LAUGHS
0:25:45 > 0:25:46I think you are doing OK.
0:25:46 > 0:25:48Not bad, is he?
0:25:48 > 0:25:51Tomorrow, about half morning, ten o'clock in the morning,
0:25:51 > 0:25:54halfway, OK? Let's ride.
0:25:54 > 0:25:55Let's ride! Yeah.
0:25:57 > 0:25:59Oi!
0:25:59 > 0:26:00Sh-sh-sh!
0:26:11 > 0:26:13The trail is at its highest point.
0:26:13 > 0:26:17At over 1,000 metres, snow is not rare at this time of year.
0:26:24 > 0:26:26I'm getting used to the horse
0:26:26 > 0:26:28and I think Simon's a bit more confident.
0:26:30 > 0:26:32A few thigh problems, apart from that...
0:26:34 > 0:26:35..we're all right.
0:26:42 > 0:26:44The gauchos and horses keep up the momentum
0:26:44 > 0:26:48but it's the noisy pack of dogs that do much of the legwork.
0:26:48 > 0:26:51It's a different way of doing things to the gauchos up north
0:26:51 > 0:26:53but the challenging terrain here
0:26:53 > 0:26:57requires dogs to quickly go where a horse and gaucho can't.
0:26:57 > 0:27:00If that dog was in a gang, he'd be the one that would start the fight.
0:27:00 > 0:27:03The golden dog.
0:27:03 > 0:27:07It nips, it goes for the ankles, and the cow kicks...
0:27:07 > 0:27:08DOGS BARK
0:27:08 > 0:27:11what if he comes at the horse? Might spook the horses.
0:27:11 > 0:27:12He has, hasn't he?
0:27:12 > 0:27:14Very aggressive, this one.
0:27:14 > 0:27:15Really is.
0:27:15 > 0:27:16Keep me away from him.
0:27:17 > 0:27:20Hey, hey, hey.
0:27:20 > 0:27:22Hey, hey, hey, hoi!
0:27:22 > 0:27:27- ALL:- Hey! Ho! Hey! Ho!
0:27:27 > 0:27:30MUSIC: "Hip Hop Hooray" by Naughty By Nature
0:27:30 > 0:27:32# Hey! Ho!
0:27:32 > 0:27:35# Hey! Ho!
0:27:35 > 0:27:36# Hey! Ho!... #
0:27:37 > 0:27:40HORSE WHINNIES
0:27:40 > 0:27:41Horse started to trot.
0:27:41 > 0:27:43I came up here...
0:27:43 > 0:27:46and the saddle went, and I came off.
0:27:46 > 0:27:48On my shoulder.
0:27:48 > 0:27:50- HORSE NEIGHS - Ssh, ssh!
0:27:50 > 0:27:52I was just winded, that's all.
0:27:52 > 0:27:54Yeah, I was lucky I didn't land on a rock, though.
0:27:57 > 0:28:00Bit of adrenaline going, through there.
0:28:00 > 0:28:01Let's hope that's the last one.
0:28:03 > 0:28:05HE GRUNTS WITH EFFORT
0:28:09 > 0:28:10Oh, hang on.
0:28:11 > 0:28:13- Muchas gracias.- No, de nada.
0:28:17 > 0:28:19Where you been? You all right?
0:28:19 > 0:28:21I had the wind knocked out of me.
0:28:21 > 0:28:23The saddle slipped, I fell off.
0:28:23 > 0:28:27And then, he's tightened the saddle, I'm back on now.
0:28:27 > 0:28:28MAN WHISTLES
0:28:28 > 0:28:29So it did its job.
0:28:31 > 0:28:34Did its job, back protector. Yeah.
0:28:34 > 0:28:37I landed on my shoulder.
0:28:37 > 0:28:39Just knocked me for six, though.
0:28:39 > 0:28:40Bet it did.
0:28:40 > 0:28:42DOGS BARK
0:29:05 > 0:29:08The scenery. That's another thing that keeps spurring you on.
0:29:08 > 0:29:10You hit the brow of a hill then you get to the other side
0:29:10 > 0:29:12and then there's this incredible plateau
0:29:12 > 0:29:14or an amazing valley
0:29:14 > 0:29:16or there's snow-capped mountains
0:29:16 > 0:29:19or some amazing, you know, autumnal colours in a forest.
0:29:19 > 0:29:21Those kind of things keep you going.
0:29:25 > 0:29:28I tell you what, it looked amazing. I was at the back there.
0:29:28 > 0:29:31And then the black of the cows
0:29:31 > 0:29:33and the russets and the burgundies
0:29:33 > 0:29:36and the almost lime-greens of the foliage
0:29:36 > 0:29:38and then seeing the riders, and it was great!
0:29:59 > 0:30:03John and Simon have been riding today for ten hours.
0:30:03 > 0:30:06With the correct embrocation I'll be all right.
0:30:09 > 0:30:11Ooh!
0:30:17 > 0:30:22- After a well-deserved supper... - It's just sausage. I just love sausages.
0:30:22 > 0:30:23..they muck in with the chores,
0:30:23 > 0:30:25building a good fire for the night.
0:30:27 > 0:30:29- It's a bit green that, innit?- Yeah.
0:30:29 > 0:30:33A mixture of live and dead, wasn't it, that one?
0:30:33 > 0:30:35It's kind of like a zombie tree.
0:30:35 > 0:30:39All five gauchos will share a home-made tent tonight, as is
0:30:39 > 0:30:42their way, constructed from a large stick and some tarpaulin.
0:30:42 > 0:30:45No, it doesn't look particularly appealing...
0:30:45 > 0:30:46Oh, I just want to lie down somewhere.
0:30:46 > 0:30:48- I know, so do I.- I'm so tired.
0:30:50 > 0:30:52I'm just going to do it here.
0:30:54 > 0:30:57- It's quite comfy.- Anything's comfy.
0:30:57 > 0:31:00When I was...semi-homeless, I slept on an engine in a car.
0:31:00 > 0:31:03I was so tired. I'd been walking and walking.
0:31:03 > 0:31:06I got into a Bedford van and there was really no room.
0:31:06 > 0:31:09There was an old engine and I just lay on top of the engine,
0:31:09 > 0:31:12the carburettor. Like that. I slept for about an hour. It's horrible.
0:31:12 > 0:31:14You think people are going to come out and go, "What are you doing?"
0:31:14 > 0:31:17- Really?- I slept in a garage once and a bloke came to get his car
0:31:17 > 0:31:20and I went, "Morning," like that. Just walked out.
0:31:20 > 0:31:24- What, did he chase you?- No. He just stared at me. "Morning."
0:31:24 > 0:31:27- You expect to see a tramp. Not a- BEEP- 22-year-old
0:31:27 > 0:31:30in Levi's Sta-Prest and moccasins.
0:31:30 > 0:31:32I went, "Morning," and just strolled off.
0:31:32 > 0:31:35So, you'd think this would be a piece of piss for me.
0:31:38 > 0:31:41Gauchos use every part of their saddles to make comfortable beds.
0:31:43 > 0:31:46Couldn't get... Couldn't get Mo Farah on that.
0:31:46 > 0:31:48LAUGHTER
0:31:49 > 0:31:52This is a truly traditional cattle drive.
0:31:52 > 0:31:55But as modern herding with trucks becomes the norm,
0:31:55 > 0:31:58ancient gaucho customs are in decline.
0:31:58 > 0:31:59For now, Alejandro
0:31:59 > 0:32:02and his team still do things the old-fashioned way.
0:32:02 > 0:32:06Comrades around the campfire at the end of a long day in the saddle.
0:32:23 > 0:32:25HE SINGS:
0:33:20 > 0:33:21APPLAUSE
0:33:21 > 0:33:24- Blimey.- Follow that. - Yes, exactly, we won't be singing.
0:33:24 > 0:33:25LAUGHTER
0:33:25 > 0:33:28- Fantastic.- Very good. - Very passionate.
0:33:28 > 0:33:30Good...good voice as well.
0:33:30 > 0:33:33That kind of song that you don't... you lose that in the cities.
0:33:33 > 0:33:36You have to go back to people like the Pearly Kings,
0:33:36 > 0:33:41who are Cockneys. They would sing "Maybe it's because I'm a Londoner."
0:33:41 > 0:33:44You have to go back to the war. The communities in...
0:33:44 > 0:33:47It doesn't really exist, that kind of pride.
0:33:47 > 0:33:50If it was like this we might have the songs still but...
0:33:50 > 0:33:52you know what I mean?
0:33:52 > 0:33:54- Yeah, I know.- Which is a shame, but...
0:33:56 > 0:33:59- That's the way it is rarely. - Do you know Mah Na Mah Na?
0:33:59 > 0:34:01The Muppets?
0:34:02 > 0:34:05Do you know Mah Na Mah Na...boo-boo ba-doo-ba.
0:34:05 > 0:34:07# Mah na mah na, boo-boo da-boo
0:34:07 > 0:34:10# Mah na mah na, boo-boo ba-do-do... #
0:34:10 > 0:34:13- There you go.- You know this? - It's a bit different.
0:34:14 > 0:34:18He sang a song about place, passion and pride.
0:34:18 > 0:34:20And you're singing a puppet song!
0:34:20 > 0:34:23Well, I'm trying to kind of put hands across the ocean.
0:34:23 > 0:34:27I'm just trying...I'm just seeing how well travelled the Muppets are, and they are.
0:34:27 > 0:34:29LAUGHTER
0:34:36 > 0:34:40Do you want that, Tom? Here we go.
0:34:40 > 0:34:42Ooh, it's a bit chilly.
0:34:48 > 0:34:50If I snore...too bad.
0:34:51 > 0:34:55- Because I can't hear myself. You must tell me.- I'll nudge you.
0:34:55 > 0:34:58I don't know where to go from here so I'll just nudge you.
0:34:58 > 0:35:01- Good night.- Good night, Simon. - Good night, John-Boy, and all that.
0:35:01 > 0:35:02Good night, Jim Bob.
0:35:04 > 0:35:07LAUGHTER It's like Glasto, isn't it?
0:35:17 > 0:35:20It gets cold in the Andes at this time of year.
0:35:20 > 0:35:23Last night it was minus four degrees centigrade.
0:35:23 > 0:35:27It was quite nice having all the bodies by the side of me,
0:35:27 > 0:35:32believe it or not. I got a bit cold and John snored a bit.
0:35:32 > 0:35:35Then it would come and go and I would lie awake trying not to snore
0:35:35 > 0:35:38by going...
0:35:38 > 0:35:39I have slept.
0:35:39 > 0:35:42And I don't ache as much as I thought I would from the horses.
0:35:42 > 0:35:44I may hurt here when I get on.
0:35:44 > 0:35:47Luckily I feel OK, but I have taken 12 Temazepam.
0:35:52 > 0:35:54It's time to hit the trail.
0:35:54 > 0:35:58Last night's singing gaucho is the hot topic of the morning.
0:35:58 > 0:36:02- Alejandro took to the guitar. - Basically like Cat Stevens.
0:36:02 > 0:36:06And sang his own original compositions which completely
0:36:06 > 0:36:08blew everybody away.
0:36:20 > 0:36:24Are you all right, Simon? Lean back into it.
0:36:24 > 0:36:30IMITATING RACING COMMENTATOR: Here he comes, it's Lobito ridden by Simon Day. Coming through between...
0:36:32 > 0:36:33THEY LAUGH
0:36:33 > 0:36:35Everybody seems more relaxed today.
0:36:36 > 0:36:38- Sorry?- The cows seem more relaxed.
0:36:39 > 0:36:41Oh, they're tired, right.
0:36:45 > 0:36:46LAUGHTER
0:36:55 > 0:36:59Today will be the most challenging section of the drive.
0:36:59 > 0:37:02There are another 20 miles to travel and ahead of them
0:37:02 > 0:37:06lie a swamp, the Bagillt river, and a steep descent to the campsite.
0:37:07 > 0:37:11- Go together and they'll be more confident.- It's Laurel And Hardy.
0:37:18 > 0:37:20With the sun beaming, the mood is good
0:37:20 > 0:37:22and the gauchos are enjoying the ride.
0:37:36 > 0:37:40- Of course.- Both John and Simon are recovering alcoholics.
0:37:40 > 0:37:44John's been dry for seven years, Simon for just six months.
0:37:44 > 0:37:48I'm not drinking at all so that... that's not something I'm particularly comfortable with
0:37:48 > 0:37:51when I'm abroad because normally when I go abroad I smash myself to pieces.
0:37:55 > 0:37:56Exactly.
0:37:59 > 0:38:00Yeah?
0:38:41 > 0:38:43The problem is, with going away,
0:38:43 > 0:38:46you've kind of got the freedom to stray.
0:38:46 > 0:38:49So, it's a lot tougher, especially in early recovery,
0:38:49 > 0:38:54to behave yourself. But I think Simon's doing exceptionally well.
0:38:54 > 0:38:56I mean, when I stop drinking, I don't...
0:38:56 > 0:39:00I'm never going to do it again, but it is a daily thing and if you don't
0:39:00 > 0:39:04do it daily, at some point you will maybe have a drink, who knows?
0:39:11 > 0:39:18The trail is challenging, at times steep, uneven and boggy.
0:39:21 > 0:39:25But Alejandro's newest gauchos are starting to gain in confidence.
0:39:27 > 0:39:32For someone who, two days ago, was terrified of the new terrain,
0:39:32 > 0:39:37I speak for me and Simon, I think we're doing remarkably well really.
0:39:37 > 0:39:39I'm very much aware that I'll always get a bit cocky
0:39:39 > 0:39:43and fall off the horse, which I don't want to do.
0:39:43 > 0:39:47I want to get through without falling off a horse.
0:39:47 > 0:39:49I'm a better horseman than I was.
0:39:49 > 0:39:54What I've started to do is to kind of break it up a bit,
0:39:54 > 0:39:57is get a bit more maverick and go...
0:39:57 > 0:40:00go all the places where the senior gauchos go,
0:40:00 > 0:40:04in the bushes and get scratched a bit, you know?
0:40:06 > 0:40:08Just to break it really.
0:40:11 > 0:40:13You get those moments where you go, wow, look at this,
0:40:13 > 0:40:16it's incredible, we're so lucky, it's amazing.
0:40:16 > 0:40:20And then you have sort of an hour or 15 minutes of just...
0:40:20 > 0:40:22a trench and the horses and the cows.
0:40:22 > 0:40:25You've actually got to focus and concentrate. It's very tiring.
0:40:25 > 0:40:28If you didn't have to concentrate it wouldn't be as tiring.
0:40:30 > 0:40:32It's one o'clock.
0:40:32 > 0:40:34They're scheduled to stop for lunch in half an hour
0:40:34 > 0:40:37but suddenly they hit marshland.
0:40:38 > 0:40:40Cows become trapped and start to panic.
0:40:44 > 0:40:45HORSE WHINNIES
0:40:48 > 0:40:51And even experienced riders like Diego struggle to keep
0:40:51 > 0:40:52their horses safe.
0:40:58 > 0:41:02The point where we got stuck today was in a bog.
0:41:02 > 0:41:06Massive swamp marsh type thing.
0:41:06 > 0:41:10And I saw a cow go, "moo". Up to its neck.
0:41:14 > 0:41:19And then I realised, for a novice gaucho, this is not
0:41:19 > 0:41:21the kind of place I should be venturing.
0:41:26 > 0:41:29Hey, don't pass there. It's a broken bridge.
0:41:41 > 0:41:46As more and more cows get into trouble, they start to scatter.
0:41:46 > 0:41:48Separated from the herd and spooked,
0:41:48 > 0:41:52the gauchos have a massive job to bring them back under control.
0:41:53 > 0:41:55Be really quiet, please.
0:42:11 > 0:42:14It's been a terrible couple of hours.
0:42:14 > 0:42:17The animals and gauchos are exhausted.
0:42:17 > 0:42:20Drastically behind schedule, they finally roll in for lunch.
0:42:26 > 0:42:30Has it changed from a lovely adventure to hard work?
0:42:30 > 0:42:32Erm...
0:42:32 > 0:42:33Yeah.
0:42:36 > 0:42:38HE LAUGHS
0:42:38 > 0:42:43That hiccup in the swamp kind of just pushed things
0:42:43 > 0:42:46just that bit too long.
0:42:46 > 0:42:48No, it's hard work, yeah.
0:42:48 > 0:42:50But, you know, it's part of the...
0:42:50 > 0:42:53it was part of the... It was in the brochure.
0:42:53 > 0:42:56I didn't study the brochure that hard, which is probably
0:42:56 > 0:42:58one of my failings in life.
0:42:58 > 0:43:02Now I'm really starting to hate cows with a vengeance.
0:43:02 > 0:43:04I really don't like them.
0:43:04 > 0:43:06Plus we're not sleeping.
0:43:06 > 0:43:11I mean, last night I was next to John, who readily admits
0:43:11 > 0:43:12snores quite a lot.
0:43:12 > 0:43:14I'm a very light sleeper.
0:43:14 > 0:43:17My wife will be laughing about this bit.
0:43:17 > 0:43:20He's being put in a tent away from everyone else because of his snoring.
0:43:20 > 0:43:21I think he's feeling really bad about that.
0:43:21 > 0:43:25I'm going to be there with a ruler. At least 12 foot.
0:43:25 > 0:43:27I don't think that's enough.
0:43:27 > 0:43:30Tonight's campsite is still eight miles away
0:43:30 > 0:43:35and daylight is in short supply. Even Alejandro's getting tense.
0:43:35 > 0:43:37We have four hours to go
0:43:37 > 0:43:40and it's already four o'clock in the afternoon
0:43:40 > 0:43:44so, we'll be arriving, without problems, by eight,
0:43:44 > 0:43:50so it's getting dark at seven, so we are late.
0:43:53 > 0:43:54Oy!
0:43:58 > 0:44:01It's already dusk as they near the biggest river
0:44:01 > 0:44:04they'll cross in the three days. The Bagillt river.
0:44:11 > 0:44:15Oi. Your horse just booted me. Come on.
0:44:15 > 0:44:17Hey! This way.
0:44:41 > 0:44:44But soon there's yet another unscheduled stop
0:44:44 > 0:44:46and frustration builds.
0:44:46 > 0:44:49What's happening? They never tell you what's happening.
0:44:52 > 0:44:56- It's not mine. - Oh, they're separating?
0:44:56 > 0:44:59As the drive passes through other farmers' land,
0:44:59 > 0:45:01it's easy to pick up a tag-along.
0:45:01 > 0:45:03We need another man, two more men.
0:45:03 > 0:45:08But extracting the unwanted cow from Alejandro's 200 takes half an hour.
0:45:10 > 0:45:13- Right, it's honesty time, right. This is becoming hellish.- Yes.
0:45:13 > 0:45:15- It really is.- You told us...
0:45:15 > 0:45:17The thought of, like, how long we're out here for,
0:45:17 > 0:45:20it's like when you go deep sea fishing and you see
0:45:20 > 0:45:23a marlin on the wall and you go, "What if we catch one of those?"
0:45:23 > 0:45:25They went, "It takes 24 hours to land it," and you go,
0:45:25 > 0:45:27"What if we're in the boat?" They go...
0:45:27 > 0:45:29- BLOWS RASPBERRY - That's what it's like.
0:45:30 > 0:45:33I like to know exactly what's happening.
0:45:33 > 0:45:35I like to know if we're going through a river.
0:45:35 > 0:45:37I don't like surprises, hate them.
0:45:37 > 0:45:38Hate surprises.
0:45:38 > 0:45:43And then Alejandro's head count of the herd reveals they're one down.
0:45:43 > 0:45:46- One missing.- Oh, no.- Yeah.
0:45:46 > 0:45:50- What do we do? - We just leave, we are late.
0:45:50 > 0:45:53- We leave it?- Yes.
0:46:06 > 0:46:10The cow is left behind but, with only 200 in the entire herd,
0:46:10 > 0:46:14any lost represent a sizeable financial hit.
0:46:14 > 0:46:16Around £500.
0:46:16 > 0:46:20- Do you know what, Alejandro? I hate these- BLEEP- cows now.
0:46:20 > 0:46:22HE LAUGHS
0:46:23 > 0:46:25Soon it's pitch black.
0:46:28 > 0:46:31And night vision is the only way to see the cattle drive.
0:46:31 > 0:46:34There's a bit of jeopardy involved now.
0:46:34 > 0:46:37MEN WHISTLE AND CALL
0:46:39 > 0:46:42Stop doing the thistles!
0:46:51 > 0:46:55Tomorrow's finish line at Trevelin is temptingly in the distance...
0:46:56 > 0:47:00..but it's still 12 miles and another night outdoors away.
0:47:07 > 0:47:11Two hours later, they finally reach tonight's campsite.
0:47:11 > 0:47:13- That wasn't scary.- No.
0:47:13 > 0:47:14That was fun.
0:47:14 > 0:47:16You know me, I'm a self-deprecating man,
0:47:16 > 0:47:19we have both really come on as riders.
0:47:19 > 0:47:22We have, and that's that.
0:47:33 > 0:47:36Oi! Oi, oi, oi, oi!
0:47:38 > 0:47:3911 hours in the saddle.
0:47:39 > 0:47:40It doesn't feel like it.
0:47:46 > 0:47:50It's been a gruelling day, even for the real gauchos.
0:47:52 > 0:47:54How is your body?
0:47:54 > 0:47:56- My body is old.- Old. Your brain?
0:47:56 > 0:48:00- My brain is confused.- Confused.
0:48:00 > 0:48:04- Yeah, but sorry about your cow, I hope we'll find it.- Yes, I hope so.
0:48:04 > 0:48:09I just think I heard the calf calling the mother.
0:48:09 > 0:48:11- Oh, really?- In the corral.
0:48:11 > 0:48:14- Wow!- Yeah.- Thank you, mate. - Good night, sleep well.
0:48:14 > 0:48:17- Thank you, everybody.- Thank you for today.- Chaps, good night.
0:48:17 > 0:48:19Sleep well.
0:48:19 > 0:48:21Three weeks away
0:48:21 > 0:48:24and a marathon of a day have taken their toll on Simon.
0:48:24 > 0:48:27I miss my family, I miss the kids, I miss my missus.
0:48:27 > 0:48:31You don't miss your water until your well runs dry, as they say.
0:48:31 > 0:48:35Love, I suppose it is. You're missing that, aren't you?
0:48:36 > 0:48:38- Good night, Simon.- Good night, John.
0:48:38 > 0:48:40- Good night.- Thanks very much. Sleep well.- Sleep well.
0:48:40 > 0:48:44For the benefit of Simon, who hasn't slept for almost 40 hours,
0:48:44 > 0:48:47tonight he's in his own tent.
0:48:47 > 0:48:50Also in his own tent, a full 12 feet away,
0:48:50 > 0:48:52is John Thompson.
0:48:52 > 0:48:54Good night. Hopefully I'll sleep well.
0:48:56 > 0:48:58COWS MOO
0:49:00 > 0:49:03SNORING
0:49:03 > 0:49:07Soon the only sounds are a snoring gaucho
0:49:07 > 0:49:09and a calf in the corral,
0:49:09 > 0:49:11calling for its missing mother.
0:49:13 > 0:49:15But in the dead of night she arrives.
0:49:26 > 0:49:29Finally calf and mum are reunited.
0:49:42 > 0:49:45At first light the time has come for Simon
0:49:45 > 0:49:48to deal with a pressing concern,
0:49:48 > 0:49:51one he's been putting off for a while.
0:49:51 > 0:49:52What if it doesn't come out?
0:49:54 > 0:49:56You can tell by the way he's walking.
0:49:57 > 0:50:00I don't know if that is from the riding or the need to go.
0:50:03 > 0:50:06Today is the final stage of the cattle drive.
0:50:06 > 0:50:09Confidence is high but both John and Simon know
0:50:09 > 0:50:13there hasn't always been great faith in their gaucho potential.
0:50:14 > 0:50:19You know the, er... the gaucho in Corrientes,
0:50:19 > 0:50:22the guy who taught us, he said "They won't be able to do it."
0:50:22 > 0:50:23He said we won't do this.
0:50:23 > 0:50:25- He said we wouldn't make it. - We won't make it.
0:50:25 > 0:50:29Well, I would say the same thing two days before.
0:50:29 > 0:50:31- Really?- Yes.
0:50:31 > 0:50:36When I saw you the first time on the horses...
0:50:36 > 0:50:38- Yes.- Yes.- You were worried?
0:50:38 > 0:50:42Yes. And you didn't come with me, yes...
0:50:42 > 0:50:45to get the cows the first time.
0:50:45 > 0:50:49I was worried about the ending.
0:50:49 > 0:50:51We were worried!
0:50:51 > 0:50:55- That is too much thinking and not enough riding.- Yes, too much this.
0:50:55 > 0:50:57Not enough that.
0:50:57 > 0:51:01- But I think you did great. - So far, so good.
0:51:01 > 0:51:04- Yes.- Not finished yet. - No. Almost there.
0:51:19 > 0:51:21There are still ten miles to go
0:51:21 > 0:51:24before the cattle is safely home in Trevelin.
0:51:25 > 0:51:28And after the exertions of yesterday,
0:51:28 > 0:51:32and another night outdoors, our heroes are running on empty.
0:51:32 > 0:51:35I think we've just worn each other out, really.
0:51:35 > 0:51:38It's hard to come up with a topic that kind of
0:51:38 > 0:51:40holds mutual interest any more.
0:51:40 > 0:51:43Do you know if you go to Southend-on-Sea,
0:51:43 > 0:51:44there's four Wimpys.
0:51:44 > 0:51:47- Are there?- Yes, four.
0:51:47 > 0:51:51One minute he's doing funny voices and doing bits out of films
0:51:51 > 0:51:53and I'm like, "Oh, God! I just want to be quiet."
0:51:53 > 0:51:56And the next minute he's been quiet and I'm going, "You all right?"
0:51:56 > 0:52:00It's been 20 years since John and Simon have been away together for this long.
0:52:00 > 0:52:02We're both the same, we're both very childish,
0:52:02 > 0:52:04we're both a bit moany.
0:52:04 > 0:52:07It'd be the same with anyone, anyone you go away with,
0:52:07 > 0:52:10the bad parts of their personality come up.
0:52:10 > 0:52:12So what do you do if you're filming with someone
0:52:12 > 0:52:14and you get absolutely sick of them?
0:52:14 > 0:52:17- And you just, "I don't want to hear another word out of his- BLEEP- mouth,"
0:52:17 > 0:52:19- what do you do then? - You stop swearing.
0:52:19 > 0:52:21What do you mean?
0:52:21 > 0:52:23Don't worry about me swearing on camera, John!
0:52:23 > 0:52:25- You worry about a lot of things I do. - You do!
0:52:25 > 0:52:26Well, don't worry about it.
0:52:26 > 0:52:28I don't want you to come over as some sort of yobbo.
0:52:28 > 0:52:31- Don't worry about how I come over, John.- OK, mate.
0:52:31 > 0:52:33I don't like to be told anything about myself, OK?
0:52:33 > 0:52:37- I go to meetings for that. Nor do you.- I don't mind.- You do.
0:52:37 > 0:52:41- Like what?- Well, I don't want to do it because you'll get upset.- Go on.
0:52:41 > 0:52:44No, it's not my job to do that. It is not my job to judge you.
0:52:44 > 0:52:46- You've changed, mate.- Have I?
0:52:46 > 0:52:47- Yes, you've changed, mate.- How?
0:52:47 > 0:52:49A bright young man to a drug addict.
0:52:49 > 0:52:50THEY LAUGH
0:52:50 > 0:52:52Me and Simon's friendship is safe.
0:52:52 > 0:52:56Don't get me wrong, it's not John. Sometimes John's been my salvation.
0:52:56 > 0:53:00One, two, three, four.
0:53:00 > 0:53:01# This town
0:53:01 > 0:53:02# Ah-ah
0:53:02 > 0:53:05# It's coming like a ghost town
0:53:05 > 0:53:10# All the clubs have been closed down
0:53:10 > 0:53:11# This place
0:53:11 > 0:53:13# It's coming like a ghost town
0:53:14 > 0:53:18# Bands won't play no more
0:53:18 > 0:53:20# Too much fighting on the dance floor
0:53:20 > 0:53:23# Aaah-aah-aaah
0:53:23 > 0:53:26# Aah-aah, aah-aah, aah-aah
0:53:26 > 0:53:29# Aaah-aaah
0:53:29 > 0:53:31# Ah-na-na-na-na, na-na... #
0:53:31 > 0:53:34As they reach the outskirts of Trevelin,
0:53:34 > 0:53:38the trail becomes smoother and it's downhill all the way.
0:53:38 > 0:53:40The gaucho way is that.
0:53:40 > 0:53:42- Or that.- That's the show, that.
0:53:42 > 0:53:43This? What, this?
0:53:43 > 0:53:45It's just this. Right.
0:53:47 > 0:53:48COWS MOO
0:53:48 > 0:53:51There's now only half a mile to go.
0:53:58 > 0:54:00THEY SPEAK IN SPANISH
0:54:00 > 0:54:03Hey! Hey!
0:54:03 > 0:54:05- Hey-hey-hey!- Hey!
0:54:15 > 0:54:16'It's not really hit me yet.
0:54:16 > 0:54:19'It's incredible what we've done, really.
0:54:19 > 0:54:21'It's amazing what we've achieved.'
0:54:21 > 0:54:25'It took a lot out of me, the actual ride.
0:54:25 > 0:54:29'I was running on bravado and sort of adrenaline towards the end.'
0:54:29 > 0:54:32Hey! Hey!
0:54:36 > 0:54:40After three days and 50 miles,
0:54:40 > 0:54:43the cows have come home to the sheltered winter pastures
0:54:43 > 0:54:45of the family's farm.
0:54:51 > 0:54:55I'm tired but I feel good. Happy.
0:54:56 > 0:54:57We've finished!
0:54:59 > 0:55:01- Very good.- Thank you.- Very good.
0:55:01 > 0:55:03When we got that field, I had no idea.
0:55:03 > 0:55:06I thought we'd be at a big farm and it'd be...
0:55:06 > 0:55:08# There'll be a welcome in the hillside... #
0:55:08 > 0:55:09You know, people...
0:55:09 > 0:55:14A male voice choir singing, and Welsh cakes presented to us
0:55:14 > 0:55:18and it was just... an ordinary field.
0:55:18 > 0:55:21No finish line, no cheers, nothing.
0:55:24 > 0:55:27WHISTLING
0:55:27 > 0:55:29- Here we are, done it.- Here we are.
0:55:29 > 0:55:30Let's go back. Let's go back, yeah?
0:55:30 > 0:55:33- To the beginning and do it all again.- Yeah.
0:55:33 > 0:55:38'The only thing that saved the final...arrival at the field
0:55:38 > 0:55:41'was me dismounting.
0:55:45 > 0:55:46'And being trodden on.'
0:55:47 > 0:55:49That's good telly, innit?
0:55:49 > 0:55:51- You all good?- Yeah, I'm fine.
0:55:51 > 0:55:52- And the leg?- Yeah, it's all right.
0:55:52 > 0:55:55- No, it didn't hurt.- OK.- It's OK.
0:55:55 > 0:55:58Yeah, mate. Thanks very much, Lobito.
0:55:58 > 0:56:00You are what they call a rock.
0:56:00 > 0:56:03Oscuro, my four-legged friend.
0:56:03 > 0:56:04The horses did everything for us.
0:56:04 > 0:56:06They're remarkable animals.
0:56:06 > 0:56:11To do that, to take two lumps like us, with very little training,
0:56:11 > 0:56:14and carry us for 26 hours, they were remarkable.
0:56:14 > 0:56:16See you then, my friend.
0:56:17 > 0:56:19He made up for all our deficiencies.
0:56:19 > 0:56:22What I want to know is how he could do all that -
0:56:22 > 0:56:25all he ate was about 12 thistles.
0:56:25 > 0:56:27And he... Where do they get the muscles from?
0:56:27 > 0:56:31Just proves the vegetarian diet works, doesn't it?
0:56:31 > 0:56:34- Thank you much. - Yes, I'll see you later.- Yeah.
0:56:34 > 0:56:38- Fantastic, thank you.- Well... - It's the best thing I've ever done.
0:56:38 > 0:56:39- No, it was.- Thank you.
0:56:39 > 0:56:42- I think you did great.- Thank you.
0:56:42 > 0:56:45- All the best, mate. Thanks. - You're welcome.
0:56:45 > 0:56:47You're a big boy, yes.
0:56:47 > 0:56:48THEY LAUGH
0:56:50 > 0:56:54For John and Simon, it's the end of their gaucho adventure.
0:56:56 > 0:56:57LAUGHTER
0:56:57 > 0:56:58# Ai-ai-ai... #
0:56:58 > 0:57:03'I found parts of this journey quite spiritual, really.
0:57:03 > 0:57:07'To be in the mountains, it's nice just to...
0:57:07 > 0:57:08'be at one with nature.'
0:57:10 > 0:57:13'It's enjoyable, living that lifestyle,
0:57:13 > 0:57:15'and I was amazed how much I enjoyed being round the animals,
0:57:15 > 0:57:17'cos I'm not really a big animal person.
0:57:17 > 0:57:19'If you certainly asked people, they'd say,
0:57:19 > 0:57:22'"Ooh, no, he's not an animal person, he doesn't even like dogs."'
0:57:22 > 0:57:23HE LAUGHS
0:57:24 > 0:57:26'I think it's done me a power of good.
0:57:26 > 0:57:30'I'd like to go home and hope my dear wife and family
0:57:30 > 0:57:32'sort of see a kind of positive change, you know?'
0:57:33 > 0:57:37'You know, they do live a very, very traditional lifestyle.
0:57:39 > 0:57:41'They have their horses, they have their work.
0:57:41 > 0:57:45'You know, I felt it was very real, they love that life.
0:57:45 > 0:57:47'They didn't want to be anywhere else.'
0:57:50 > 0:57:52SINGING IN SPANISH: