0:00:02 > 0:00:10This programme contains some strong language and some scenes of a sexual nature.
0:00:18 > 0:00:22# Oh, the good life... #
0:00:22 > 0:00:24COUPLE ARGUE
0:00:24 > 0:00:26# Full of fun
0:00:26 > 0:00:30# Seems to be the ideal
0:00:30 > 0:00:32PHONE RINGS
0:00:34 > 0:00:37# Mm, the good life
0:00:37 > 0:00:40# Let's you hide... #
0:00:40 > 0:00:42WOMAN: Don't you dare come back!
0:00:42 > 0:00:43- MAN:- Fine!
0:00:45 > 0:00:47PHONE CONTINUES RINGING
0:00:52 > 0:00:54Hello.
0:00:56 > 0:01:00Oh, I'm not on set, I'm so sorry. I've had, um...
0:01:01 > 0:01:04Do you think you could send a car for me?
0:01:06 > 0:01:09My...driver seems to have...um...
0:01:12 > 0:01:14..gone.
0:01:14 > 0:01:16'It's on its way.'
0:01:16 > 0:01:19Thank you so much.
0:01:20 > 0:01:26# ..To be free and explore the unknown
0:01:33 > 0:01:37- CHILDREN:- You'll never catch me. - I'm gonna catch you.
0:01:41 > 0:01:44CHILDREN CHATTER
0:01:44 > 0:01:47You found it! Clever darling.
0:01:47 > 0:01:50- Can I squirt it on?- I'll squirt it. - Squirt. Squirt?
0:01:50 > 0:01:52- An outrageous slur!- No!
0:01:54 > 0:01:56SNIFFS
0:01:56 > 0:01:57Oh, dear.
0:01:57 > 0:02:00That...isn't Yardley.
0:02:01 > 0:02:04Bugger, bugger, bugger!
0:02:04 > 0:02:06Let's pray it isn't what it smells like.
0:02:06 > 0:02:09Ohh! Bugger!
0:02:09 > 0:02:12I forgot to turn it down!
0:02:13 > 0:02:16Oh, John, didn't you smell it?
0:02:18 > 0:02:20Do you know, I rather think I did.
0:02:20 > 0:02:23You are sacked as my assistant...again.
0:02:25 > 0:02:26Is Christmas ruined, Mum?
0:02:26 > 0:02:29No more than usual.
0:02:29 > 0:02:34Right, first to the top is emperor of the world.
0:02:34 > 0:02:37Ooh, you cheaters!
0:02:37 > 0:02:38Hey, Kim!
0:02:38 > 0:02:41CHATTER
0:02:42 > 0:02:44Bruce! Don't worry,
0:02:44 > 0:02:48- I'm not here for the rent.- Boys... - Hello, Bruce.
0:02:48 > 0:02:50Oh! We're a bird down.
0:02:50 > 0:02:52Oh, dear! Tragedy, bun?
0:02:52 > 0:02:55Turkey-tastrophe, darling.
0:02:56 > 0:02:58Is there enough, do you think, boys?
0:02:58 > 0:03:00I don't know.
0:03:00 > 0:03:03- Well, say yes, to reassure me. - Yes.
0:03:03 > 0:03:07Loaves and fishes, love. Loaves and fishes.
0:03:13 > 0:03:16CHATTER
0:03:16 > 0:03:18Robin, could you answer the door?
0:03:19 > 0:03:21Sprouts, as good as possible.
0:03:21 > 0:03:23Carrots, done.
0:03:23 > 0:03:25We await your command.
0:03:25 > 0:03:27OK. Peas.
0:03:27 > 0:03:29And that's us, we're set.
0:03:29 > 0:03:30Ready, Eddie?
0:03:30 > 0:03:32Go, Flo! (LAUGHS)
0:03:32 > 0:03:36- Am I late?- No, darling, we're not even a little bit drunk yet.
0:03:36 > 0:03:39- Sweetheart, take Joanie's coat upstairs.- Oh, thank you.
0:03:39 > 0:03:41Do you want a hand?
0:03:42 > 0:03:43Ooh!
0:03:43 > 0:03:45Don't tell anyone about the secret ingredient.
0:03:45 > 0:03:48Any more slosh?
0:03:48 > 0:03:49Ah.
0:03:49 > 0:03:51John Le Mesurier, my husband.
0:03:51 > 0:03:54Oh, but of course, you've met, haven't you?
0:03:54 > 0:03:58Joan, isn't it? Charming name. Lovely to have you here and merry Christmas.
0:03:58 > 0:03:59Merry Christmas.
0:03:59 > 0:04:00- Er...- Ah, there you go.
0:04:00 > 0:04:02Ah, very kind of you.
0:04:02 > 0:04:03Are they getting restless?
0:04:03 > 0:04:06Do you want me to tell one of my queasy-making stories?
0:04:06 > 0:04:09No, thank you. I think we're ready.
0:04:09 > 0:04:12I don't know how I could have managed without you. You've saved my life.
0:04:14 > 0:04:16I know. He's a dear, isn't he?
0:04:18 > 0:04:19This is for you.
0:04:23 > 0:04:27- Merry Christmas, one and all. - ALL: Merry Christmas.
0:04:27 > 0:04:29Now, this is Joan.
0:04:29 > 0:04:30ALL: Hello, Joanie.
0:04:30 > 0:04:33And she's single. And you can talk to her about anything.
0:04:35 > 0:04:38Oh, you all look so...
0:04:38 > 0:04:39festive!
0:04:41 > 0:04:45Er, I'd like to propose a toast, to dear Hattie.
0:04:45 > 0:04:47ALL: Hattie...
0:04:47 > 0:04:50- The Christmas fairy! - ALL: The Christmas fairy.
0:05:04 > 0:05:07- Ooh...- Ooh!
0:05:07 > 0:05:08No photos.
0:05:10 > 0:05:13Oh, I say. How's the harness?
0:05:13 > 0:05:16Luckily I'm not planning on having any more children.
0:05:16 > 0:05:19SIGHS
0:05:19 > 0:05:2199% for arms
0:05:21 > 0:05:25at the Dean Sisters Academy of Ballet and Theatrical Dance.
0:05:25 > 0:05:27You were robbed. Are you ready?
0:05:27 > 0:05:28Oh, yes.
0:05:28 > 0:05:30Right. Take it away.
0:05:30 > 0:05:33COGS GRIND
0:05:36 > 0:05:39Oh, it's like being back there.
0:05:51 > 0:05:53Marvellous, Hat.
0:05:53 > 0:05:54GIGGLES
0:05:59 > 0:06:02CREAKING
0:06:03 > 0:06:07Just a minute, Miss Jacques!
0:06:07 > 0:06:10CREAKING AND CLUNKING
0:06:10 > 0:06:12It's not budging.
0:06:12 > 0:06:16- Can't take the weight, can it! - LAUGHTER
0:06:26 > 0:06:28John!
0:06:36 > 0:06:38John?
0:06:54 > 0:06:58# This isn't sometimes
0:06:59 > 0:07:02# This is always... #
0:07:05 > 0:07:06KNOCKS
0:07:06 > 0:07:09Bruce? Are you awake?
0:07:09 > 0:07:11- MAN: Who is it? - Just a minute.
0:07:11 > 0:07:14CLUNKING
0:07:15 > 0:07:17I'm entertaining.
0:07:17 > 0:07:19Oh. Oh...
0:07:19 > 0:07:21Typical babysitter.
0:07:21 > 0:07:22He's hiding under the bed.
0:07:22 > 0:07:24Afraid of the police.
0:07:24 > 0:07:26Right.
0:07:26 > 0:07:30- Well, I'll leave you to it then. - Night-night.
0:07:31 > 0:07:33(Come out.)
0:07:58 > 0:08:00Are you awake, chicken?
0:08:00 > 0:08:04Do you want to get up with Mummy, have a naughty late night?
0:08:04 > 0:08:06MUMBLES
0:08:11 > 0:08:13# Love me or leave me
0:08:13 > 0:08:15# And let me be lonely
0:08:15 > 0:08:19# You won't believe me but I love you only
0:08:19 > 0:08:24# I'd rather be lonely than happy with somebody else... #
0:08:24 > 0:08:27DOOR OPENS
0:08:28 > 0:08:31You're still up.
0:08:31 > 0:08:32Are you all right?
0:08:32 > 0:08:34I'm fine.
0:08:36 > 0:08:38Hey, what's the matter?
0:08:38 > 0:08:40Nothing.
0:08:40 > 0:08:43Just one of those days. Silly really.
0:08:43 > 0:08:44Mm...
0:08:51 > 0:08:54The flying winch broke.
0:08:54 > 0:08:57I was left sort of dangling above the stage.
0:08:57 > 0:08:59Oh, no!
0:09:00 > 0:09:02Humiliating.
0:09:02 > 0:09:03Oh, you poor thing.
0:09:03 > 0:09:06Pretending to be a stupid great fairy!
0:09:06 > 0:09:09You're a fine actress, Hattie. You don't have to do this rubbish.
0:09:09 > 0:09:13I know my casting, John. I'm the silly, frigid, fat girl.
0:09:13 > 0:09:16You're the nation's favourite silly, frigid, fat...
0:09:16 > 0:09:21Oh, there was a call for you. Um, something about leukaemia, I'm not quite sure what.
0:09:21 > 0:09:23There's a do.
0:09:23 > 0:09:25They want me to be guest of honour.
0:09:28 > 0:09:29Sorry.
0:09:29 > 0:09:32Just being a drama queen.
0:09:32 > 0:09:33No, no.
0:09:35 > 0:09:36Do you need to do lines?
0:09:36 > 0:09:38I'd like to help if I can.
0:09:38 > 0:09:40You know I can't manage them without you.
0:09:42 > 0:09:44- All right, so, job scene?- Mm-hm.
0:09:44 > 0:09:45I'll be Sid.
0:09:45 > 0:09:48BELLOWING LAUGHTER
0:09:48 > 0:09:51- You don't believe me, anyway. - Course I believe you, Charlie.
0:09:51 > 0:09:53You're not clever enough to think up an excuse that good.
0:09:53 > 0:09:57- I'm only saying I'm sorry. - Unreasonable of me to sit around here moping,
0:09:57 > 0:09:59expecting you to take me out once a year, Charlie.
0:09:59 > 0:10:01Blimey! I wouldn't say you're being unreasonable, Peg.
0:10:01 > 0:10:03But you don't have to worry about me now, Charlie.
0:10:03 > 0:10:07- I'm going to get a job. - Amazingly, you've put in another couple of Charlies.
0:10:07 > 0:10:10- She only says it every other fucking line! - BOTH LAUGH
0:10:10 > 0:10:14Get a job? Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. What can you do?
0:10:14 > 0:10:17We'll have to see, won't we... BOTH: Charlie!
0:10:17 > 0:10:18BOTH LAUGH
0:10:25 > 0:10:28My star has plummeted, the public have deserted.
0:10:28 > 0:10:30I don't know how I did that.
0:10:30 > 0:10:32I've run these fundraisers for years and never...
0:10:32 > 0:10:34It's an easy mistake, darling.
0:10:34 > 0:10:36I'm organised. I was in the Pay Corps.
0:10:36 > 0:10:40Well, everybody's misread March for April.
0:10:40 > 0:10:43You've taken it in ever such good part. I'd be livid.
0:10:43 > 0:10:47That's because I'm a much nicer person than you, Ron.
0:10:47 > 0:10:51I've had to find a local volunteer to drive you home.
0:10:51 > 0:10:54I'm sorry again. I'm mortified, Miss Jacques.
0:10:54 > 0:10:57- Is he sober? - I'm fairly sure he is.
0:10:57 > 0:10:59Well, that's a start.
0:10:59 > 0:11:01That's him. John Schofield.
0:11:04 > 0:11:09Er, I'd better lock up. I'll, er, see you next month?
0:11:09 > 0:11:10Yes.
0:11:10 > 0:11:12Bye, Ron.
0:11:14 > 0:11:15Let me guess...
0:11:16 > 0:11:18Ron's fault?
0:11:18 > 0:11:21Luckily, he's only a fundraiser for leukaemia.
0:11:21 > 0:11:24He's not actually responsible for finding a cure.
0:11:24 > 0:11:25I'm John.
0:11:25 > 0:11:29I know who you are. Everybody does.
0:11:29 > 0:11:32Are you all right here, or...
0:11:32 > 0:11:35do you need to sit in the back like the Queen?
0:11:35 > 0:11:38Oh, I'd need six months' notice to squeeze my behind in there.
0:11:48 > 0:11:50ENGINE ROARS
0:11:50 > 0:11:53You're not a getaway driver, are you?
0:11:53 > 0:11:57Do all sorts. Sometimes do deliveries for dealers.
0:11:57 > 0:11:58That's why I'm in this.
0:11:58 > 0:11:59It's not yours?
0:11:59 > 0:12:02- It's not stolen! - Just borrowed?
0:12:07 > 0:12:11So, Miss Jacques, why do you put yourself down?
0:12:11 > 0:12:14I beg your pardon?
0:12:14 > 0:12:16Ah, you did it when you were getting in the car.
0:12:16 > 0:12:18I've seen you do it on the box.
0:12:18 > 0:12:21I'm doing very well, thank you.
0:12:21 > 0:12:23YOU are driving ME.
0:12:23 > 0:12:25You don't need to do it.
0:12:25 > 0:12:26You're...
0:12:26 > 0:12:29- (SIGHS)- Anyone can see you're lovely.
0:12:29 > 0:12:31A proper lovely person.
0:12:31 > 0:12:33- Oh, good.- And you're beautiful.
0:12:33 > 0:12:35I've got a nice face!
0:12:35 > 0:12:37You're beautiful.
0:12:41 > 0:12:42Sorry.
0:12:44 > 0:12:46I don't know what it's like being well known.
0:12:46 > 0:12:48Pain in the backside, I'm guessing.
0:12:48 > 0:12:51Cheeky sods like me telling you stuff you don't wanna hear.
0:12:51 > 0:12:56Oh, there are compensations. People are mostly very kind.
0:12:57 > 0:12:59And I get to do evenings like this.
0:12:59 > 0:13:02- Charity?- Yes.
0:13:02 > 0:13:03Why do you bother?
0:13:03 > 0:13:06Because I want to.
0:13:06 > 0:13:08I want to give something back.
0:13:08 > 0:13:11- What...- All right, I do it for purely selfish reasons.
0:13:11 > 0:13:14I'm completely selfish. Happy?
0:13:14 > 0:13:17- It's not what I was saying. - Well, why do you do it then,
0:13:17 > 0:13:21driving a complete stranger home at such short notice? What's in it for you?
0:13:23 > 0:13:25My boy had leukaemia.
0:13:28 > 0:13:31Oh, Christ!
0:13:31 > 0:13:32I'm so sorry.
0:13:34 > 0:13:36When? How is he now?
0:13:36 > 0:13:38No, no, he, er...
0:13:40 > 0:13:42He died.
0:13:44 > 0:13:47- God, John, I'm so sorry.- Yeah...
0:13:49 > 0:13:51That is...
0:13:53 > 0:13:56That's terrible and so wrong and...
0:13:57 > 0:13:59You poor, poor man.
0:14:03 > 0:14:05- I'm sorry, I've got to, er... - Of course you have.
0:14:19 > 0:14:21What was his name?
0:14:22 > 0:14:24John.
0:14:26 > 0:14:27Little John.
0:14:29 > 0:14:30He was four.
0:14:33 > 0:14:34When did he die?
0:14:38 > 0:14:40Nearly a year ago.
0:14:41 > 0:14:44I haven't...
0:14:44 > 0:14:46No, I haven't dealt with it well.
0:14:46 > 0:14:51- Who would?- No, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said anything.
0:14:51 > 0:14:53- Don't be silly. - It doesn't help anything!
0:14:56 > 0:14:59I'm so sorry for that brief unscheduled stop.
0:15:00 > 0:15:03- I shall now get you home.- Yes.
0:15:03 > 0:15:06Take me home, please.
0:15:21 > 0:15:25Well, it was lovely to meet you, John, thank you very much.
0:15:45 > 0:15:49- I'm perfectly fine from here, thank you.- I know you are.
0:15:56 > 0:15:59No, no.
0:16:19 > 0:16:23PIANO PLAYS
0:16:34 > 0:16:36Hello, darling.
0:16:36 > 0:16:38Mix-up over dates.
0:16:38 > 0:16:39Oh, no.
0:16:41 > 0:16:46You know, I've just met the most extraordinary man.
0:16:46 > 0:16:47Have you?
0:16:47 > 0:16:50He drove me back.
0:16:50 > 0:16:52His son died of leukaemia.
0:16:52 > 0:16:55Oh, dear.
0:16:55 > 0:16:56And he, um...
0:16:56 > 0:16:58Why is he extraordinary?
0:17:01 > 0:17:02He was, er...
0:17:04 > 0:17:08I suppose I just felt sorry for him, all he'd been through.
0:17:11 > 0:17:13Drink?
0:17:13 > 0:17:16- I'm going to bed.- It's barely nine.
0:17:16 > 0:17:21Is it? I'm shattered. Is Bruce in?
0:17:23 > 0:17:25Bruce!
0:17:26 > 0:17:28Bruce? Are you up there?
0:17:28 > 0:17:31SOBBING
0:17:31 > 0:17:34- Oh, darling.- No - onions.
0:17:34 > 0:17:36(LAUGHING) Oh, Bruce!
0:17:36 > 0:17:38Oh, Bruce.
0:17:44 > 0:17:49You fade, but I have a true love of the dance.
0:17:49 > 0:17:51Hm?
0:17:51 > 0:17:52Ah!
0:17:52 > 0:17:54What's going on?
0:17:56 > 0:18:00- Tell me to grow up. - You are grown up.
0:18:00 > 0:18:03Tell me to be MORE grown up.
0:18:03 > 0:18:04Hattie...
0:18:08 > 0:18:09No.
0:18:10 > 0:18:11No.
0:18:13 > 0:18:14Goodnight.
0:18:23 > 0:18:24So we're cutting the other lines?
0:18:24 > 0:18:28Yes. It's just a "we're starting our business" set-up scene anyway.
0:18:28 > 0:18:30But all we're left with is a load of leering.
0:18:30 > 0:18:34- I mean, Esma hasn't even got a line. - Oh, she's full of herself today.
0:18:34 > 0:18:36Don't be the shop steward on my account,
0:18:36 > 0:18:38I'm perfectly happy scuttling round.
0:18:38 > 0:18:41OK. You're the boss.
0:18:41 > 0:18:45Thank you for reminding everyone, Hattie. Positions, everyone.
0:18:49 > 0:18:53And away we go. Action.
0:18:53 > 0:18:55Right. May I see your legs, please?
0:18:58 > 0:19:02You've got the job. Next, please, Flo.
0:19:10 > 0:19:13You've got the job.
0:19:13 > 0:19:16Cut! Great. Let's go again. Big close-up on the bust.
0:19:16 > 0:19:19Hers or mine?
0:19:19 > 0:19:21LAUGHTER
0:19:29 > 0:19:31# Hey there
0:19:31 > 0:19:33# You with the stars in your eyes... #
0:19:33 > 0:19:35What are we having for tea?
0:19:35 > 0:19:40There's, er, stew with... all sorts of delicious things.
0:19:40 > 0:19:44I'm Carry On Cabby-ing every day except Tuesday when I'm doing Sykes
0:19:44 > 0:19:46and Friday when I'm in the shop.
0:19:46 > 0:19:48- Wednesday evening?- Spastics.
0:19:48 > 0:19:51Thursday?
0:19:51 > 0:19:53- Radio recording.- Oh.
0:19:54 > 0:19:57And tonight... Tonight is leukaemia.
0:19:57 > 0:20:01- Haven't you already done that? - They got the wrong date, darling.
0:20:01 > 0:20:04Ooh la la! Big guns ce soir.
0:20:04 > 0:20:07Mm. Is that a compliment I hear?
0:20:07 > 0:20:10Well, you do look very lovely, darling.
0:20:10 > 0:20:12Well, thank you, my darling boys.
0:20:12 > 0:20:13DOORBELL RINGS
0:20:13 > 0:20:15That'll be your driver.
0:20:20 > 0:20:22Just a tick.
0:20:24 > 0:20:26Evening, Miss Jacques.
0:20:26 > 0:20:29Reg.
0:20:29 > 0:20:30How are you?
0:20:30 > 0:20:32Bit down if I'm honest.
0:20:32 > 0:20:34Course you are.
0:20:34 > 0:20:36You'll have to tell me all about it on the journey.
0:20:36 > 0:20:38Definitely will, Miss Jacques.
0:20:40 > 0:20:43SIGHS
0:20:49 > 0:20:52Then you stop. OK.
0:20:52 > 0:20:54And away we go...
0:20:58 > 0:20:59Action!
0:21:07 > 0:21:08Right, girls.
0:21:08 > 0:21:10This is it.
0:21:10 > 0:21:14I want you to get out there and grab all the business
0:21:14 > 0:21:17from under their smug male noses.
0:21:17 > 0:21:19I don't care how you do it -
0:21:19 > 0:21:20within reason -
0:21:20 > 0:21:23just get the fares in your cabs.
0:21:23 > 0:21:25GIGGLES
0:21:26 > 0:21:30In the back of the cab, dear, with you in the front!
0:21:31 > 0:21:34Any questions?
0:21:34 > 0:21:37Supposing a male passenger tries to start something?
0:21:37 > 0:21:38Then use this!
0:21:38 > 0:21:41- What's that?- A starting handle.
0:21:41 > 0:21:44And there's nothing better for stopping something.
0:21:44 > 0:21:47Right. In your cabs, girls.
0:21:50 > 0:21:52Well, here goes, Flo.
0:21:52 > 0:21:55I hope I'm doing the right thing.
0:21:55 > 0:21:56Cut! Great.
0:21:56 > 0:21:58We haven't finished yet, Gerald, the scene goes on.
0:21:58 > 0:22:02No point doing the whole scene without the other cars, darling.
0:22:02 > 0:22:05Come on, there's other things to shoot while we're waiting. Onwards!
0:22:07 > 0:22:11It's nice to have a job where I keep my top on! Even in this weather!
0:22:11 > 0:22:13Jobs with clothes can't be knocked, dear.
0:22:13 > 0:22:16Would've been nice to have had a line though.
0:22:16 > 0:22:18I wonder why he dropped me from that scene?
0:22:18 > 0:22:21The fewer the lines the better, isn't that right, Esma?
0:22:21 > 0:22:24- Don't start, it's all right for you. - I'm only teasing.
0:22:24 > 0:22:25- Are you serious?- Yes, I am.
0:22:25 > 0:22:28I'm sick of this "batty old lady" shit.
0:22:28 > 0:22:29And I'm sick of learning lines.
0:22:29 > 0:22:32And I'm sick of resenting too few lines.
0:22:32 > 0:22:35It's the digs, the directors, the auditions, the waiting...
0:22:35 > 0:22:37not to mention the fucking public!
0:22:37 > 0:22:39I won't have a word said against the fucking public!
0:22:39 > 0:22:43She thinks I'm joking. This is the last job for me. I've had it.
0:22:53 > 0:22:56I'm sorry, do you, um...
0:22:56 > 0:22:58mind if I don't join you?
0:22:58 > 0:23:01I'd forgotten he was coming.
0:23:01 > 0:23:04He's a charity worker.
0:23:04 > 0:23:06Just want to go through some dates with him.
0:23:06 > 0:23:09Oh, we'll manage without you somehow, Mother Superior!
0:23:10 > 0:23:12He's a bit of all right.
0:23:12 > 0:23:14I'd do charity work if they were all like that!
0:23:17 > 0:23:19You don't believe her, do you?
0:23:19 > 0:23:23You're not the only one with a touch of strumpet in the eyes.
0:23:32 > 0:23:37- You're surprisingly easy to find. - And very difficult to miss!
0:23:37 > 0:23:42Can you stop doing that... as a favour, to me?
0:23:42 > 0:23:45Why would I do you any favours?
0:23:46 > 0:23:49You know, I'm not really used to chasing women.
0:23:49 > 0:23:50Hm.
0:23:50 > 0:23:53- I'm not being...- Big headed?
0:23:53 > 0:23:55I just don't have to.
0:23:56 > 0:23:59So, this is me being chased, is it?
0:23:59 > 0:24:01No.
0:24:03 > 0:24:05This is you being hunted.
0:24:06 > 0:24:11# You stepped out of a cloud... #
0:24:13 > 0:24:14I'm on your trail.
0:24:14 > 0:24:16# And I will take you away
0:24:16 > 0:24:20# Away from the crowd... #
0:24:20 > 0:24:22There's no escape.
0:24:22 > 0:24:25# And have you all to myself
0:24:25 > 0:24:27# Alone and apart
0:24:27 > 0:24:31# Out of a dream
0:24:31 > 0:24:34# Safe in my heart... #
0:24:49 > 0:24:51Thought I heard you.
0:24:52 > 0:24:55- Noisy ice.- As you're asking.
0:24:57 > 0:24:59Thanks.
0:25:00 > 0:25:02They offered me the part.
0:25:02 > 0:25:05Congratulations. That's lovely.
0:25:05 > 0:25:09I knew they would. Be strong. Say no.
0:25:09 > 0:25:10What?
0:25:10 > 0:25:14If you do another prissy, buttoned-up little clerk,
0:25:14 > 0:25:15you'll be playing them till you die.
0:25:15 > 0:25:17It's good money.
0:25:17 > 0:25:20We've got plenty of money...I think.
0:25:20 > 0:25:22Enough for you to say no.
0:25:22 > 0:25:23Yes.
0:25:23 > 0:25:25Yes, maybe you're right.
0:25:28 > 0:25:31We spend too much time apart as it is.
0:25:31 > 0:25:34At least the Carry Ons are local.
0:25:34 > 0:25:37Let's only do work when it's worth it.
0:25:37 > 0:25:40There's nothing else in the pipeline.
0:25:40 > 0:25:45Good to feel...scared, bit shaky.
0:25:45 > 0:25:46That's what you signed up for.
0:25:48 > 0:25:49How was filming?
0:25:52 > 0:25:54I've had...
0:25:54 > 0:25:56an unusual day.
0:25:56 > 0:25:58Really?
0:25:58 > 0:26:01Yes, that's what's so wonderful about filming, isn't it?
0:26:01 > 0:26:04It really is different every day.
0:26:06 > 0:26:09Thank you for your advice.
0:26:09 > 0:26:12As always, you really are so very wise.
0:26:25 > 0:26:27Are you coming out?
0:26:29 > 0:26:31I'm waiting.
0:26:31 > 0:26:34Why did you buy me underwear?
0:26:35 > 0:26:36I like taking it off.
0:26:36 > 0:26:41LAUGHING I'm surprised you found any in my size!
0:26:44 > 0:26:45Show me.
0:26:58 > 0:27:00Don't act.
0:27:00 > 0:27:01Just stand.
0:27:02 > 0:27:04Stand?
0:27:04 > 0:27:05Just...
0:27:06 > 0:27:08Just stand.
0:27:11 > 0:27:17# You stepped out of a dream
0:27:17 > 0:27:20# You are too wonderful... #
0:27:20 > 0:27:24Yeah...I'd like to take that off.
0:27:25 > 0:27:28# Could there be eyes... #
0:27:28 > 0:27:30Come on, hurry, people, this is in the cinema on Friday!
0:27:30 > 0:27:32LAUGHTER
0:27:36 > 0:27:39It's an interesting sort of life.
0:27:39 > 0:27:42Profumo's having an interesting life, dirty bugger!
0:27:44 > 0:27:46I imagine being an actor might be fun.
0:27:46 > 0:27:51These arseholes see a woman can do one thing, that's all she ever does!
0:27:51 > 0:27:55- I quite like this part.- Well, you're not a hospital harridan and I'm not bonkers.
0:27:55 > 0:27:59They're hardly stretching us, are they?
0:27:59 > 0:28:00You'll always work.
0:28:00 > 0:28:03- You work.- Nah, bits and bobs, I shan't miss it.
0:28:03 > 0:28:06- You would.- I'm never gonna stop.
0:28:06 > 0:28:09- Well, you won't have to. People like you.- They like you.
0:28:09 > 0:28:11Oh, stop it. I mean people.
0:28:11 > 0:28:13You have a public, I haven't.
0:28:13 > 0:28:15They'll stick with you, too...
0:28:15 > 0:28:19unless you balls it up, like this dick!
0:28:20 > 0:28:24You British never forgive people who like a lot of sex.
0:28:30 > 0:28:31I'll treasure that.
0:28:34 > 0:28:35Thank you.
0:28:44 > 0:28:47- BOYS:- But that's too small. - Too small?- Yes. Too small.
0:28:47 > 0:28:49No, we need to make it bigger.
0:28:49 > 0:28:51Bigger, bigger... OK.
0:28:53 > 0:28:56CHILDREN CONTINUE CHATTERING
0:29:04 > 0:29:07Hello, darling. That was a late one for you.
0:29:07 > 0:29:08Yes.
0:29:11 > 0:29:13John...
0:29:13 > 0:29:15This is...
0:29:15 > 0:29:18Oh, yes, your friend is here. He's with the boys in the garden.
0:29:18 > 0:29:19What friend?
0:29:19 > 0:29:22Er, a chap from the charity. Um...John.
0:29:24 > 0:29:28I really should remember that name, shouldn't I? Yeah, he's a lovely chap.
0:29:31 > 0:29:35- You can't do that! - Yes! Go. Go quick.
0:29:35 > 0:29:37Oh, oh, oh, outrageous! Foul!
0:29:37 > 0:29:39That's a penalty.
0:29:39 > 0:29:42- No, ref didn't see it. - You're not the ref.
0:29:42 > 0:29:45Course I am, Robin. Oldest is ref, who's oldest?
0:29:45 > 0:29:47I am. Get in goal.
0:29:47 > 0:29:50What? No, she can't be ref.
0:29:50 > 0:29:53Yes, I can. Those goalposts are far too small, move them over.
0:29:53 > 0:29:55- I'll just pick it up.- Yes!
0:29:55 > 0:29:56Oh, what?!
0:29:56 > 0:29:57WHOOPING AND CHEERING
0:29:57 > 0:30:01Oh, he's on the break! No-one can stop him.
0:30:01 > 0:30:05Oh, what a terrible shot! No, go and get it.
0:30:05 > 0:30:08- Robin, go and help Kim-bo. - Yeah, go and help your brother.
0:30:08 > 0:30:13- What are you doing?- I came about that important thing.
0:30:15 > 0:30:16They're nice lads.
0:30:16 > 0:30:18Yes, thank you.
0:30:18 > 0:30:21- Your bloke's all right too. - I know.
0:30:21 > 0:30:23So...
0:30:23 > 0:30:25I've left my wife.
0:30:27 > 0:30:28What did she say?
0:30:28 > 0:30:30No, don't tell me.
0:30:31 > 0:30:34- Did you mention me? - No, there was no need.
0:30:34 > 0:30:36It was dead in the water.
0:30:36 > 0:30:37She knew it.
0:30:37 > 0:30:39We're not a fling.
0:30:40 > 0:30:42You're the most...
0:30:42 > 0:30:43beautiful...
0:30:44 > 0:30:47..sexy, funny...
0:30:47 > 0:30:49brilliant...
0:30:50 > 0:30:53I wanna touch you all the time.
0:30:53 > 0:30:56You think I've got such a low opinion of myself
0:30:56 > 0:30:59that telling me I'm beautiful will make me throw my life away.
0:30:59 > 0:31:01Yes. Yes.
0:31:04 > 0:31:06- I know what this is.- So do I.
0:31:06 > 0:31:08And I can't face a scandal.
0:31:10 > 0:31:12I thought you might appreciate a little support.
0:31:12 > 0:31:16- Oh, you're a gent, John. - Darling!
0:31:17 > 0:31:20Shouldn't you be going home now, John?
0:31:20 > 0:31:22Cheers. I would, if I had one.
0:31:22 > 0:31:25I'm staying at a mate's. Wife's kicked us out.
0:31:25 > 0:31:29Oh, you must stay here. There's always somebody on the sofa. I insist.
0:31:29 > 0:31:31That's, er...
0:31:31 > 0:31:34Thanks. I really should say yes.
0:31:34 > 0:31:37Then do. It's all right, isn't it, Hattie?
0:31:37 > 0:31:38Absolutely.
0:31:41 > 0:31:45But I won't. I've arranged to stay at a mate's, I don't wanna upset him.
0:31:45 > 0:31:46Dad, Kim's found a fossil.
0:31:46 > 0:31:49You're always welcome. ..Mm, a fossil?
0:31:49 > 0:31:50Cheers.
0:31:50 > 0:31:52Well, that's not actually a fossil, Kim.
0:31:52 > 0:31:54MOUTHS
0:31:57 > 0:31:58WOLF WHISTLE
0:32:03 > 0:32:05Better luck next time...darling.
0:32:05 > 0:32:07Cut!
0:32:07 > 0:32:10Great. Lovely stuff.
0:32:10 > 0:32:11Let's try it again without the line.
0:32:15 > 0:32:16Please hurry up!
0:32:18 > 0:32:20I'm meant to be on set in two minutes!
0:32:20 > 0:32:24Ohhh! Ahhh! Ohhhhh!
0:32:24 > 0:32:27And how was the party?
0:32:27 > 0:32:29Cheap as the film.
0:32:29 > 0:32:32Jolly enough apart from the vows not to do another one.
0:32:33 > 0:32:36It's good to know they're there if you need them.
0:32:36 > 0:32:39They'll go on as long as they make a few quid, I expect.
0:32:39 > 0:32:42- Mm. Did you get the note?- No.
0:32:42 > 0:32:44Bruce is moving out.
0:32:46 > 0:32:49- Oh, no! - He's going to live with Clive.
0:32:49 > 0:32:51The house will feel so empty.
0:32:51 > 0:32:55Yeah...but might be quite nice to have the place to ourselves for a while.
0:32:55 > 0:32:57Do you think?
0:32:58 > 0:33:00We always have a lodger. So much more lively.
0:33:03 > 0:33:05What about John?
0:33:05 > 0:33:09- Who?- Lovely John Schofield. You asked him before.
0:33:09 > 0:33:11Oh, yeah, the wife trouble chappie.
0:33:11 > 0:33:13- Yes.- Yeah, he did seem awfully nice.
0:33:14 > 0:33:17- Then again...- What?
0:33:18 > 0:33:21- Nothing. It's just... - Do you think he'd fit in?
0:33:21 > 0:33:23Oh, we're a doddle to live with.
0:33:23 > 0:33:27And it might be good to have someone around for when you're filming.
0:33:27 > 0:33:28Yes, might be quite useful.
0:33:28 > 0:33:30Oh, I don't know.
0:33:30 > 0:33:33No, just...just us for a while.
0:33:33 > 0:33:36- Perhaps we should think about it. - Yes.
0:33:39 > 0:33:42Well, maybe we could have a trial period.
0:33:47 > 0:33:50I'm sure Hattie would like to have been here,
0:33:50 > 0:33:52but she really is awfully busy.
0:33:52 > 0:33:56Yeah, I've heard that.
0:33:58 > 0:34:02Well, as you can see, everything's here, I think.
0:34:02 > 0:34:04Do you have to get up early?
0:34:04 > 0:34:05Sometimes.
0:34:05 > 0:34:08- And what is it you do? - I'm an entrepreneur.
0:34:08 > 0:34:09Mm?
0:34:10 > 0:34:12- Businessman.- Oh, really?
0:34:12 > 0:34:14Well, I'll leave you to settle in.
0:34:14 > 0:34:17I have to go out now, so do make yourself at home.
0:34:18 > 0:34:19Cheers.
0:34:26 > 0:34:31# I want a little sugar in my bowl
0:34:35 > 0:34:39# I want a little sweetness down in my soul
0:34:40 > 0:34:43# I could stand some lovin'
0:34:43 > 0:34:46# Oh, so bad
0:34:47 > 0:34:51# I feel so funny
0:34:51 > 0:34:53# I feel so sad
0:34:56 > 0:35:01# I wanna little steam on my clothes... #
0:35:01 > 0:35:04KNOCK ON DOOR
0:35:04 > 0:35:06Hello. Who are you?
0:35:06 > 0:35:10I'm John. I'm moving in.
0:35:10 > 0:35:12Bruce. I'm moving out.
0:35:12 > 0:35:13Ah.
0:35:14 > 0:35:16Just...learning my way around...
0:35:17 > 0:35:18Bruce.
0:35:18 > 0:35:22You look like someone who knows his way around already...John.
0:35:25 > 0:35:28# ..I want some sugar in my bowl. #
0:35:30 > 0:35:32SHOUTING AND LAUGHTER
0:35:37 > 0:35:39Be careful, boys, please.
0:35:39 > 0:35:44Call that hiding? That's the first place the monster looks!
0:35:44 > 0:35:47BOYS SHOUT AND GIGGLE
0:35:51 > 0:35:53Oh, I'm starving.
0:35:53 > 0:35:55What shall we cook?
0:35:55 > 0:35:57I really wouldn't know. Hattie cooks.
0:35:57 > 0:36:01- Oh, it's only making a bit of food, it's easy.- I'm sure it is.
0:36:01 > 0:36:03I'll pull up some veg...
0:36:07 > 0:36:09Well, hello, you charming gentlemen.
0:36:11 > 0:36:12My, my, my...
0:36:12 > 0:36:17And before you chain me to one of my many cookers, darling...
0:36:17 > 0:36:18Mm...
0:36:18 > 0:36:21- Hello, John.- All right.
0:36:21 > 0:36:22Welcome to, um...
0:36:22 > 0:36:24- Our home.- Yes.
0:36:24 > 0:36:26Welcome to 67.
0:36:28 > 0:36:29And now you must excuse me.
0:36:29 > 0:36:33I have work to do, souffles to construct.
0:36:49 > 0:36:52Ah, top-up?
0:36:53 > 0:36:56No, thanks, mate. Cheers.
0:37:31 > 0:37:33Why are you sitting there?
0:37:33 > 0:37:35I don't care where I sit.
0:38:09 > 0:38:12Game of cards, anyone?
0:38:17 > 0:38:18I spoke to Howard today.
0:38:18 > 0:38:22He still hasn't found anyone for that conman, so I suggested you.
0:38:22 > 0:38:26That's very sweet of you. But you don't have to suggest me for every part.
0:38:26 > 0:38:27I don't.
0:38:27 > 0:38:31I only suggest you for the ones you'd be good at, which is a lot.
0:38:31 > 0:38:32Oh, thank you.
0:38:36 > 0:38:38Do you think it's going to work out?
0:38:38 > 0:38:39John?
0:38:39 > 0:38:41Mm...
0:38:41 > 0:38:43It was a bit spur of the...
0:38:43 > 0:38:44What do you think?
0:38:44 > 0:38:47- He's a nice chap... - I mean, he's a shot of energy,
0:38:47 > 0:38:51- that's got to be good for a home, hasn't it?- Yeah, yes, yes.
0:38:51 > 0:38:53But it's not seamless though, is it?
0:38:53 > 0:38:57- He's good for the boys.- Yes. I suppose he might be.
0:38:59 > 0:39:02Oh, I don't know, it might be a mistake.
0:39:02 > 0:39:04We said we'd see.
0:39:04 > 0:39:07If you want him to go, then...
0:39:07 > 0:39:12No. Trial period. New force. Bit of a...
0:39:12 > 0:39:14- And all that.- Hm.
0:39:17 > 0:39:18Goodnight, Hattie.
0:39:20 > 0:39:21Goodnight.
0:40:24 > 0:40:26LIGHT SNORING
0:40:53 > 0:40:54DOOR CREAKS
0:41:32 > 0:41:33You're gonna be late.
0:41:35 > 0:41:37- Bye, Mum.- Bye, darling.
0:41:37 > 0:41:39- Bye, Dad.- Bye, Kim.
0:41:39 > 0:41:40Mwah, love you.
0:41:40 > 0:41:43- Bye, Dad.- Bye, Robin. - See you later, Kim-bo.
0:41:54 > 0:41:56CHILDREN: Bye! DOOR SHUTS
0:41:56 > 0:41:58Two eggs, John?
0:41:58 > 0:42:00Hm?
0:42:01 > 0:42:03Yeah. Lovely.
0:42:03 > 0:42:07We might have to develop a system with so many Johns.
0:42:09 > 0:42:11Any takers for Johnny?
0:42:16 > 0:42:19Or we could always have exactly the same thing.
0:42:19 > 0:42:21Do you think we have the same taste?
0:42:21 > 0:42:23- In some things.- Like what?
0:42:26 > 0:42:28Eggs.
0:42:28 > 0:42:29Hm.
0:42:31 > 0:42:32There is that.
0:42:40 > 0:42:42I won't hurt him.
0:42:42 > 0:42:43Or the boys.
0:42:43 > 0:42:47And I can't keep having sex above his head.
0:42:47 > 0:42:49- Very good sex. - Very good sex.
0:42:49 > 0:42:51Exceptionally good sex.
0:42:53 > 0:42:55Tell him it's run its course.
0:42:55 > 0:42:57I can't.
0:42:58 > 0:43:01I couldn't face life without him.
0:43:01 > 0:43:03Sorry.
0:43:03 > 0:43:05And I want the boys to need him.
0:43:05 > 0:43:09- They prefer me.- Don't crow.
0:43:09 > 0:43:10He's theirs.
0:43:10 > 0:43:13And he's my husband.
0:43:14 > 0:43:18He's very dear, very...dear.
0:43:22 > 0:43:24BOTH LAUGH
0:43:25 > 0:43:27Just a little one.
0:43:27 > 0:43:28- Ah...- Thank you, darling.
0:43:28 > 0:43:31- Thank you.- My pleasure.- So kind.
0:43:32 > 0:43:33- Cheers, me dear.- Cheers.
0:43:36 > 0:43:37Mm...
0:43:37 > 0:43:39Ah...
0:43:39 > 0:43:41Too much gin?
0:43:41 > 0:43:42Horse strength.
0:43:42 > 0:43:46He always does something wrong so he won't be asked to do it again.
0:43:46 > 0:43:48- Does that work?- Pretty much.
0:43:50 > 0:43:54When he was quite young, he realised he'd have an easier life
0:43:54 > 0:43:57if he pretended to know fuck all about anything.
0:44:01 > 0:44:02Clown.
0:44:07 > 0:44:10Are you sleeping with him?
0:44:10 > 0:44:13- Is it obvious?- You haven't tried to pair ME off with him.
0:44:15 > 0:44:18- And Bruce dropped a hint. - Oh, naughty boy.
0:44:18 > 0:44:19Does John know?
0:44:19 > 0:44:22Doesn't really notice things like that.
0:44:22 > 0:44:25He's pretty hard not to notice.
0:44:27 > 0:44:30Oh, terrible mistake moving him in.
0:44:30 > 0:44:32I thought it would contain things,
0:44:32 > 0:44:35stop the press from sticking their noses in.
0:44:37 > 0:44:39It's just mess ahead.
0:44:39 > 0:44:41- Tell him to sling his hook.- Who?
0:44:41 > 0:44:43Me laddo.
0:44:43 > 0:44:45Come clean to your old man.
0:44:45 > 0:44:47It's only a bit of sex.
0:44:47 > 0:44:49Marriages survive.
0:44:49 > 0:44:53John's had lapses. We both have.
0:44:53 > 0:44:56But this is utterly different.
0:44:56 > 0:44:59I know this one's a dish, but so's John.
0:44:59 > 0:45:02He's charming.
0:45:02 > 0:45:05He's got lovely legs. And you're both in the biz too.
0:45:05 > 0:45:09You get caught having it off with some bloke ten years
0:45:09 > 0:45:13- younger than you, moving him in... - They'll crucify me, I know.
0:45:14 > 0:45:17It's not that I don't care, I do.
0:45:17 > 0:45:21I have to work. I have to, but...
0:45:21 > 0:45:23Oh, look.
0:45:24 > 0:45:26Him?
0:45:26 > 0:45:27With me?
0:45:27 > 0:45:30You could have anyone you wanted.
0:45:30 > 0:45:31He makes me reckless.
0:45:31 > 0:45:33Everything else is irrelevant.
0:45:33 > 0:45:36My work, my marriage, how I look.
0:45:36 > 0:45:38I don't want to give him up.
0:45:39 > 0:45:42I can't.
0:45:44 > 0:45:47He's unstoppable in bed.
0:45:50 > 0:45:53- You're giddy.- I am.
0:45:53 > 0:45:55I want to be forever.
0:45:56 > 0:45:58Anyone for a top-up?
0:45:58 > 0:46:01Oh, yes, please, darling. Just a little drop.
0:46:01 > 0:46:02I've hardly touched it.
0:46:02 > 0:46:04# Because
0:46:04 > 0:46:09# If you break his heart
0:46:09 > 0:46:11# Somebody's gonna come along... #
0:46:12 > 0:46:14Shush!
0:46:14 > 0:46:17- What?- John's up.
0:46:18 > 0:46:20Really?
0:46:32 > 0:46:33John.
0:46:33 > 0:46:36Oh, what are you doing up? Did I wake you?
0:46:36 > 0:46:38Would you like a glass?
0:46:42 > 0:46:43Mm.
0:46:43 > 0:46:45Let's go back to bed.
0:47:07 > 0:47:10Have a really wonderful time. They're lucky to have you.
0:47:10 > 0:47:14A week seems a long time to be away for just a cough and a spit.
0:47:14 > 0:47:17It's more than that. You'll make it more.
0:47:17 > 0:47:19And so will they when they realise how witty you are.
0:47:19 > 0:47:21Thank you.
0:47:21 > 0:47:23I'll ring you.
0:47:27 > 0:47:29Can't stand long goodbyes.
0:47:30 > 0:47:34Your trial period starts now.
0:47:34 > 0:47:36What do you want to do first?
0:47:43 > 0:47:47Oh, I'm terribly sorry.
0:47:50 > 0:47:55HE LAUGHS Oh... Stop it! Stop it! Get off me!
0:47:55 > 0:47:56Oh...
0:47:56 > 0:47:57Get off me!
0:47:57 > 0:47:59This is it, girl.
0:47:59 > 0:48:01Let's sort this now.
0:48:20 > 0:48:22I forgot my book.
0:48:22 > 0:48:23I wasn't trying to...
0:48:23 > 0:48:25Of course you weren't.
0:48:25 > 0:48:29Oh, John, I apologise, that must have been utterly miserable for you,
0:48:29 > 0:48:31a terrible shock.
0:48:31 > 0:48:34He's no fucking good, you know. He's going to hurt you.
0:48:34 > 0:48:38- That's not your concern. - I know what a remarkable woman you are. I don't think he does.
0:48:38 > 0:48:43Oh, darling, I wouldn't do this to you for someone who didn't love me.
0:48:47 > 0:48:49I wanted to tell you.
0:48:50 > 0:48:52I just couldn't find the...
0:48:54 > 0:48:56I've been such a coward.
0:48:56 > 0:48:58I do understand that.
0:49:01 > 0:49:04But the boys...
0:49:04 > 0:49:07Our family, friends.
0:49:07 > 0:49:09Our work. We're Hattie and John.
0:49:09 > 0:49:11We fit rather well.
0:49:13 > 0:49:16- I thought we did. - We did... We do.
0:49:16 > 0:49:19I haven't stopped loving you.
0:49:23 > 0:49:24Oh, you poor thing.
0:49:28 > 0:49:30I've made a hash, haven't I?
0:49:33 > 0:49:38I don't want to leave you. I can't imagine not being your husband.
0:49:38 > 0:49:40Please don't go.
0:49:40 > 0:49:42I don't want you to go.
0:49:45 > 0:49:48I want you to stay.
0:49:50 > 0:49:53Thank you. I'll stay.
0:50:04 > 0:50:08Obviously... I'm going now.
0:50:08 > 0:50:09Yeah.
0:50:16 > 0:50:17Let me fetch your book.
0:50:24 > 0:50:25Well?
0:50:25 > 0:50:27He forgot his book.
0:50:27 > 0:50:29And...?
0:50:30 > 0:50:32He doesn't want to leave.
0:50:32 > 0:50:35Oh, can't he read the signs?!
0:50:35 > 0:50:38I don't want him to leave either.
0:50:38 > 0:50:39What?
0:50:39 > 0:50:42Why?
0:50:42 > 0:50:44Because I'm married to him.
0:50:46 > 0:50:51If I threw him away, I could do the same to you, and I won't do it.
0:50:51 > 0:50:54He's a lovely, clever man.
0:50:56 > 0:50:59And I want to look after him.
0:50:59 > 0:51:02Stay with him. For now, anyway.
0:51:03 > 0:51:06All right. Let me have a word.
0:51:21 > 0:51:23Am I a prick?
0:51:23 > 0:51:25Er, that's really not for me to say.
0:51:25 > 0:51:29- You treat me like one.- Sorry, please explain, I don't understand what you're talking about.
0:51:29 > 0:51:31Why won't you move out?
0:51:31 > 0:51:36Er, because this is my home, and my wife and family live here.
0:51:36 > 0:51:39And so does your wife's lover.
0:51:39 > 0:51:41Where are your balls?
0:51:41 > 0:51:45Well, they're not in my brain. Now, I know you're looking for some kind of a fight,
0:51:45 > 0:51:48but I think it would be incredibly vulgar, don't you?
0:51:48 > 0:51:51We're clearly going to be living in the same house,
0:51:51 > 0:51:56- so we may as well try to rub along. Don't you agree?- I'll never understand posh people.
0:51:56 > 0:51:58Is this normal for you?
0:51:59 > 0:52:02And I really would like to know how it ends.
0:52:09 > 0:52:13You're not the first, you know. I've weathered the storm before.
0:52:13 > 0:52:17Now, if you don't mind, I've a horror of being late.
0:52:26 > 0:52:27Nothing's changed.
0:52:27 > 0:52:29Yes, it has. He knows now.
0:52:29 > 0:52:32He knew anyway.
0:52:33 > 0:52:37- Let's try and live with it, please. - Bollocks! You're as bad as him.
0:52:37 > 0:52:39I wondered what you saw in him.
0:52:39 > 0:52:42I know now.
0:52:42 > 0:52:44You're the bloody same!
0:52:44 > 0:52:46John, please...
0:52:57 > 0:53:01# While I'm far away from you
0:53:01 > 0:53:05# My baby, woo-oo
0:53:05 > 0:53:11# I know it's hard for you, my baby Woo-oo
0:53:11 > 0:53:15# Because it's hard for me my baby... #
0:53:15 > 0:53:17PHONE RINGS
0:53:17 > 0:53:20# ...And the darkest hour just before dawn... #
0:53:20 > 0:53:21Hello?
0:53:23 > 0:53:27No, I'm afraid he's away filming at the moment, can I take a m...
0:53:29 > 0:53:30Hello?
0:53:43 > 0:53:50I am not turning my life upside down for some...bolter,
0:53:50 > 0:53:52some idiot who runs away at the first...
0:53:54 > 0:53:57- How could you do that?! - I didn't leave you.
0:53:58 > 0:54:00Apparently I can't.
0:54:08 > 0:54:12- Where've you been?- I stayed at a mate's, I need to clear my brain.
0:54:17 > 0:54:18I love you.
0:54:21 > 0:54:23I accept the situation.
0:54:23 > 0:54:24John can stay.
0:54:32 > 0:54:34I'll be your little secret,
0:54:34 > 0:54:37kept inside,
0:54:37 > 0:54:38out of sight.
0:54:40 > 0:54:43But I've got one condition.
0:55:03 > 0:55:06Well, I think I've moved everything that's yours.
0:55:07 > 0:55:10If I haven't,
0:55:10 > 0:55:13bang on the floor...or something.
0:55:15 > 0:55:16I'll let you settle in.
0:55:25 > 0:55:28PIANO PLAYS
0:55:44 > 0:55:48- How was filming? - It was good enough.
0:55:53 > 0:55:55This is going to work, isn't it?
0:55:57 > 0:56:00If we all try jolly hard.
0:56:00 > 0:56:03I really want it to.
0:56:03 > 0:56:06So do I.
0:56:06 > 0:56:08John is upstairs.
0:56:21 > 0:56:24All right, boys, start again.
0:56:24 > 0:56:26- Pass it to me.- OK, here we go.
0:56:26 > 0:56:27One car-rot...
0:56:27 > 0:56:32- Eric's written a lovely script. Very funny.- Oh, good. I'd like to read it.
0:56:32 > 0:56:35- Four car-rot. - So what is this game?
0:56:35 > 0:56:37It's car-rot.
0:56:39 > 0:56:42Now you say five car-rot.
0:56:42 > 0:56:43Five carrot.
0:56:43 > 0:56:46LAUGHS
0:56:46 > 0:56:48Five car-rot.
0:56:48 > 0:56:49- Car-rot.- Yeah.
0:56:49 > 0:56:50Pass it.
0:56:50 > 0:56:52There we are.
0:56:55 > 0:56:58Well, I don't think I'm a natural car-rot player.
0:56:58 > 0:57:00I dunno, I thought you did pretty well.
0:57:00 > 0:57:02Start again. All right, Kim-bo.
0:57:02 > 0:57:03One car-rot.
0:57:03 > 0:57:06Two car-rot.
0:57:06 > 0:57:07Three car-rot.
0:57:07 > 0:57:09- Four car-rot.- Five car-rot.
0:57:09 > 0:57:12- Six car-rot.- Seven car-rot. - Faster.- Eight car-rot.
0:57:12 > 0:57:14I hate seeing him so unhappy.
0:57:14 > 0:57:16He's too vague to be unhappy.
0:57:16 > 0:57:19Well, that's no help.
0:57:19 > 0:57:22He seems the same as usual.
0:57:22 > 0:57:26- What do you want me to say? - I want you to say everything's going to be all right.
0:57:26 > 0:57:29I'm fine with it, myself, but...
0:57:29 > 0:57:32it is a bit perverted, isn't it?
0:57:32 > 0:57:35Three of us in the same house!
0:57:35 > 0:57:38- It's practical.- I like him.
0:57:38 > 0:57:42I don't wanna see him with an arsey face, but...
0:57:42 > 0:57:44I want him to go.
0:57:44 > 0:57:46Oh...
0:57:46 > 0:57:50At some...distant point in the future.
0:57:56 > 0:57:59- Everything's gonna be all right. - Stop it.
0:57:59 > 0:58:02No. No, no. Serious now. Look at me.
0:58:02 > 0:58:04Look at me. I'm serious.
0:58:04 > 0:58:07Everything... Every...
0:58:07 > 0:58:10thing is gonna be all right.
0:58:10 > 0:58:12(LAUGHING) Get off me.
0:58:30 > 0:58:33# You've been acting different
0:58:33 > 0:58:35# I've been told
0:58:36 > 0:58:43# Soothe me I want some sugar in my bowl
0:58:46 > 0:58:47# I want... #
0:58:47 > 0:58:49(LAUGHING) No, no!
0:58:49 > 0:58:51# ...Some steam on my clothes... #
0:58:51 > 0:58:54LAUGHTER DOWNSTAIRS
0:59:27 > 0:59:29GASPING AND MOANING
0:59:29 > 0:59:31HATTIE: Oh, God!
0:59:31 > 0:59:35Oh, oh, oh!
0:59:35 > 0:59:38HATTIE PANTS
0:59:38 > 0:59:39BANGING
0:59:39 > 0:59:42Oh! Oh!
0:59:49 > 0:59:51Morning. How did you sleep?
0:59:51 > 0:59:53Like a child.
0:59:57 > 0:59:59Morning, darling.
1:00:01 > 1:00:03Huh, what's up with you, sulky-pants?
1:00:03 > 1:00:06Nothing throws him. He's all right, aren't you, old chap?
1:00:06 > 1:00:09Just pretending to be grumpy, are you?
1:00:12 > 1:00:13Robin?!
1:00:13 > 1:00:15No, he's fine.
1:00:17 > 1:00:19It's nothing, I'm sure.
1:00:27 > 1:00:31Oh, Eric, don't upset yourself, have supper, go along.
1:00:31 > 1:00:34- STILTED:- Well, we're as good as he is, I'll tell you that.
1:00:34 > 1:00:37Ask Aunty Edith for my defence medal.
1:00:37 > 1:00:43Oh, Eric! Tiddles, where are you?
1:00:43 > 1:00:44Come on, Tiddles.
1:00:46 > 1:00:49Eric, is Tiddles in there with you?
1:00:49 > 1:00:51No.
1:00:51 > 1:00:53We're having soup.
1:00:53 > 1:00:56Ah... Why don't you do it? Keep your hand in.
1:00:56 > 1:00:58- Oh, you're good, keep at it.- No.
1:00:58 > 1:01:00Well, it is my bag, as it were.
1:01:00 > 1:01:04It's fine. Carry on, John.
1:01:06 > 1:01:08That cat has to go.
1:01:08 > 1:01:12Oh, but Eric, he's only a kitten.
1:01:12 > 1:01:15I'm sorry, Hat, it's too much.
1:01:15 > 1:01:18Tomorrow I'm going to find a good home for him.
1:01:18 > 1:01:21But he's got a good home here.
1:01:21 > 1:01:26In that case I'll find a good home for me.
1:01:28 > 1:01:30Oh, Eric!
1:01:31 > 1:01:33It's good.
1:01:58 > 1:02:01There's nowhere else I'd rather be.
1:02:09 > 1:02:11Good.
1:02:21 > 1:02:22Dinner's ready.
1:02:22 > 1:02:24BOTH LAUGH
1:02:26 > 1:02:28It's my responsibility.
1:02:28 > 1:02:30It's my fault.
1:02:30 > 1:02:33- He seems the same to me. - You cheer him up.
1:02:33 > 1:02:37- Can't you take him out to a jazz club or something? - He doesn't seem unhappy.
1:02:37 > 1:02:41Oh. Caught him looking at the wedding photos the other day.
1:02:41 > 1:02:45- Is that proof of mortal despair? - It's very un-John.
1:02:48 > 1:02:51He goes out, won't say where.
1:02:51 > 1:02:53Drinking too much.
1:02:53 > 1:02:55I saw him in the phone box the other day.
1:02:55 > 1:02:59- Why can't he ring from home? - Sounds like he's got a woman.
1:02:59 > 1:03:01Well, he can ring her from here.
1:03:01 > 1:03:04I'd like him to have one of those.
1:03:04 > 1:03:06And she'd be very lucky.
1:03:06 > 1:03:09He's worth having, he really is.
1:03:16 > 1:03:19- Thank you, darling, that was delicious.- A pleasure.
1:03:21 > 1:03:22Are you going, Joan?
1:03:22 > 1:03:25- Yes.- It's wonderful to see you again.
1:03:25 > 1:03:27Have you had a lovely evening?
1:03:27 > 1:03:30Of course. How could I not with Hat?
1:03:31 > 1:03:32Well, I hope to see you again soon.
1:03:32 > 1:03:34Yes.
1:03:34 > 1:03:36So do I.
1:03:52 > 1:03:54Beautiful. Aw.
1:03:57 > 1:03:59Why is John coming?
1:03:59 > 1:04:00It's only a Sykes.
1:04:00 > 1:04:02I don't know.
1:04:04 > 1:04:06Why are you coming?
1:04:06 > 1:04:09Oh, I haven't seen Eric for...
1:04:09 > 1:04:11I just thought I would. Do you mind?
1:04:11 > 1:04:13Are you driving?
1:04:13 > 1:04:16As long as you both sit in the back...
1:04:16 > 1:04:18and I get to wear a cap.
1:04:22 > 1:04:24Ah, you're late!
1:04:24 > 1:04:27- I have never been late for work in my life, young man.- Come on.
1:04:29 > 1:04:30What's that mean?
1:04:30 > 1:04:33- What?- The big stupid face?
1:04:33 > 1:04:36Hello, Eric. Hello, Hattie.
1:04:36 > 1:04:38How are you?
1:04:38 > 1:04:40Let's have some lights, may we?
1:04:44 > 1:04:46We have a big surprise,
1:04:46 > 1:04:48because tonight, Hattie Jacques...
1:04:48 > 1:04:51This Is Your Life.
1:04:51 > 1:04:53You're kidding, of course?
1:04:53 > 1:04:55I'm not kidding of course. Hidden away here tonight
1:04:55 > 1:04:58are all sorts of lovely surprises. You come with me.
1:05:00 > 1:05:02Now, there's nothing to worry about.
1:05:02 > 1:05:03Walk this way.
1:05:03 > 1:05:07Oh, Eamonn, they don't come duller than me!
1:05:07 > 1:05:09You knew about this.
1:05:09 > 1:05:10Mm?
1:05:12 > 1:05:13You ba...
1:05:15 > 1:05:19- Why didn't you tell me?- It's not as if you can appear, is it? - So what do I do?
1:05:19 > 1:05:23I'm sure we can find you a dressing room to wait in. ..Hello, boys.
1:05:23 > 1:05:26Just remember, it's a sham.
1:05:26 > 1:05:31A big pile of poncey show-biz shite!
1:05:31 > 1:05:33I'm her man, John.
1:05:33 > 1:05:37I am. Me.
1:05:37 > 1:05:41Yes, well, this is Hattie's working world, it means an awful lot to her
1:05:41 > 1:05:44and I'm sure she'd appreciate it greatly if you didn't make a scene.
1:05:44 > 1:05:48Hello, boys. Now, we've got to hide from Mummy, so quick, follow me.
1:06:11 > 1:06:12APPLAUSE
1:06:14 > 1:06:16Good evening and thank you.
1:06:16 > 1:06:21Our programme this evening comes from the BBC Television Theatre in London.
1:06:21 > 1:06:25Now, a half an hour ago, the foyer to this theatre was empty.
1:06:25 > 1:06:28But we knew that two famous stars were going to
1:06:28 > 1:06:32walk through this theatre on their way to a recording.
1:06:32 > 1:06:35Ladies and gentlemen, I bring you the incomparable,
1:06:35 > 1:06:38the wonderful Hattie Jacques.
1:06:38 > 1:06:40APPLAUSE
1:06:59 > 1:07:02A rather shaken Hattie Jacques, I might tell you.
1:07:04 > 1:07:05And here to start our story,
1:07:05 > 1:07:08one of the most eminent names in show business,
1:07:08 > 1:07:12star of the small screen, who plays Hattie's identical twin brother,
1:07:12 > 1:07:13Eric Sykes.
1:07:13 > 1:07:16APPLAUSE
1:07:18 > 1:07:20Hey!
1:07:20 > 1:07:22Hey, who's your friend?
1:07:24 > 1:07:27LAUGHTER
1:07:27 > 1:07:29Thank you, Eric.
1:07:31 > 1:07:34Your divisional director in the Red Cross Society,
1:07:34 > 1:07:37who's here again to see you tonight, Miss Vivian Caplow.
1:07:40 > 1:07:46Celebrated actor and Chairman of the Players' Theatre, Mr Leonard Sachs.
1:07:49 > 1:07:52APPLAUSE DROWNS SPEECH
1:07:56 > 1:08:01You left a deep impression on a young actress playing opposite you,
1:08:01 > 1:08:03- Shirley Eaton. - APPLAUSE
1:08:07 > 1:08:11Founder of London's Mermaid Theatre, Bernard Miles.
1:08:14 > 1:08:20And in that year, 1950, you married well-known actor, John Le Mesurier.
1:08:36 > 1:08:38So there's never a dull moment with Hattie?
1:08:38 > 1:08:41No, there isn't, really.
1:08:41 > 1:08:44I would, though... I would like to say that...
1:08:46 > 1:08:50..I'm eternally grateful for the way she runs the home,
1:08:50 > 1:08:53looks after the children...
1:08:53 > 1:08:56looks after me.
1:08:56 > 1:08:58Home comes first, I think I'm right in saying.
1:08:58 > 1:09:00LAUGHTER
1:09:02 > 1:09:05But, for someone who's so very busy all the time,
1:09:05 > 1:09:11and so very much in the public eye all the time...
1:09:11 > 1:09:13to do these things is very difficult...
1:09:16 > 1:09:19..and a jolly neat trick.
1:09:19 > 1:09:22Thank you, John Le Mesurier.
1:09:41 > 1:09:45A jolly...neat...trick.
1:09:46 > 1:09:48A jolly neat trick?
1:09:48 > 1:09:51- Do shut up, John, you're beginning to be a bore.- John?
1:09:51 > 1:09:52What, me?
1:09:53 > 1:09:54That was...
1:09:54 > 1:09:57Oh, I felt such a fraud, such a...
1:09:57 > 1:10:00I can't...
1:10:00 > 1:10:02Oh, it was ghastly.
1:10:02 > 1:10:07I did suspect you wouldn't like it. But I thought you wouldn't want to miss it, if you see what I mean.
1:10:08 > 1:10:11- Did you know about it?- No.
1:10:13 > 1:10:16- There is no other woman, is there? - Sorry?
1:10:16 > 1:10:19All these secret phone calls, it's all been to do with this, hasn't it?
1:10:19 > 1:10:21Yes.
1:10:21 > 1:10:23I'd rather hoped you'd fallen in love.
1:10:25 > 1:10:27There is no-one else.
1:10:28 > 1:10:30Oh, John, what are we going to do with you?
1:10:30 > 1:10:33I don't suspect you have to do anything.
1:10:35 > 1:10:39Come on, let's go and get a drink.
1:10:39 > 1:10:41CHUCKLING
1:10:51 > 1:10:52It's hot, darling.
1:10:52 > 1:10:54Cheers.
1:10:55 > 1:10:57I've got it. I'll follow you through.
1:10:59 > 1:11:00This is ready.
1:11:11 > 1:11:13Ow. Ow!
1:11:19 > 1:11:21Ah, come on. There we go.
1:11:23 > 1:11:25Ooh, oh...
1:11:25 > 1:11:28Thank you. Sprouts ready?
1:11:28 > 1:11:29As they'll ever be.
1:11:32 > 1:11:35Right, let's go, Supergirl.
1:11:36 > 1:11:40Oh, it's so lovely to see you all.
1:11:40 > 1:11:42Make room for Joanie.
1:11:42 > 1:11:46What? The kitchen skivvy's allowed to eat with us?!
1:11:46 > 1:11:49Oh, she is so much more than that.
1:11:49 > 1:11:51Thanks, Hat.
1:11:51 > 1:11:55In fact, if this is nasty, then it's all her fault.
1:11:55 > 1:11:59Oh, despite what she says, the cook!
1:11:59 > 1:12:02- Yes, the cook.- Oh, bless you all.
1:12:04 > 1:12:06Now tuck in and be jolly.
1:12:17 > 1:12:21- Night-night, darling. - Night-night.- Sweet dreams.
1:12:21 > 1:12:23Night, Mum.
1:12:23 > 1:12:26And you waited all night to find that out?
1:12:26 > 1:12:29Well, it seemed rude to ask her to unveil any earlier, but...
1:12:29 > 1:12:33- you don't expect a moustache, do you?- No! No.
1:12:33 > 1:12:35Adventures in Greece?
1:12:35 > 1:12:36Yes.
1:12:36 > 1:12:39- He's impossible.- Yes, he is.
1:12:39 > 1:12:42Oh, I would have thought I was eminently possible.
1:12:43 > 1:12:45Oh, I should go.
1:12:45 > 1:12:48Oh, no, don't. Stay.
1:12:48 > 1:12:50- No, it's late.- I'll show you out.
1:12:51 > 1:12:55- Bye, lovely.- Joan... - Thank you.
1:12:55 > 1:12:57I'll see you soon.
1:12:57 > 1:13:00- Well, goodbye, Joan.- Bye, John. - Lovely to see you again.
1:13:00 > 1:13:04Lovely to see you. Thank you. See you soon.
1:13:07 > 1:13:08Hm, that went well.
1:13:08 > 1:13:11- You should grab that one.- Really? Do you think so?
1:13:11 > 1:13:14Mm. You'll never meet anyone as perfect for you.
1:13:14 > 1:13:16- I thought I had.- Grab her.
1:13:16 > 1:13:19I wouldn't know how to go about it.
1:13:19 > 1:13:21Well, let's make a plan then.
1:13:21 > 1:13:24- No, no, you don't have to, please. - Come on, sit down.
1:13:24 > 1:13:29- Oh.- I'll write it down and you follow my instructions.
1:13:29 > 1:13:31This is completely unnecessary.
1:13:31 > 1:13:32Mm-hm.
1:13:32 > 1:13:35First step, number one.
1:13:35 > 1:13:40- Feel her up?- I'll pencil that in at 5 or 6, shall I?
1:13:40 > 1:13:42Number one is invite her to dinner.
1:13:42 > 1:13:45- What, just like that?- Yes.
1:13:45 > 1:13:48In fact, number one is ring her up.
1:13:48 > 1:13:52Number two is invite her out to dinner during conversation.
1:13:52 > 1:13:57- What shall we talk about? - Just be charming. You can do that without my writing it down.
1:13:57 > 1:13:59I can't do anything without you.
1:14:00 > 1:14:02Oh, John.
1:14:02 > 1:14:05DOOR SHUTS
1:14:05 > 1:14:07Did you walk Jennifer to her car?
1:14:07 > 1:14:08Yeah.
1:14:09 > 1:14:11I'll see you in bed.
1:14:15 > 1:14:19Number three - buy her a huge bunch of flowers.
1:14:23 > 1:14:25Where was she parked?
1:14:25 > 1:14:26Heathrow?!
1:14:26 > 1:14:29Don't start.
1:14:29 > 1:14:31What was I supposed to think?
1:14:31 > 1:14:32That's starting.
1:14:37 > 1:14:39This is such a bird's room.
1:14:41 > 1:14:43There's a man here now.
1:14:43 > 1:14:45We should redecorate.
1:14:46 > 1:14:48Whatever you want.
1:14:53 > 1:14:55We'd never be mates...
1:14:55 > 1:14:56me and you.
1:14:58 > 1:15:00It's all or nothing.
1:15:02 > 1:15:04That scares me.
1:15:26 > 1:15:27KNOCK ON DOOR
1:15:27 > 1:15:29Ah...
1:15:29 > 1:15:31You don't have to knock.
1:15:31 > 1:15:35Well... Um, I thought you might like to know, the plan worked.
1:15:37 > 1:15:41And you won't believe this, but...I've made a decision.
1:15:43 > 1:15:46That's marvellous news.
1:15:46 > 1:15:49I'm so pleased for both of you.
1:15:49 > 1:15:50Joan has found me a place.
1:15:55 > 1:15:57Calls for a drink.
1:16:06 > 1:16:09BOYS CHATTER
1:16:13 > 1:16:17- BOYS:- So, who's gonna bat first? - I'm batting first, I've got the bat.
1:16:17 > 1:16:19Boys...
1:16:19 > 1:16:21- Boys.- Come and sit down.
1:16:26 > 1:16:28Um, we've got something to tell you.
1:16:28 > 1:16:32We're going to have to ask you both to be very grown-up.
1:16:36 > 1:16:39Mummy and Daddy...
1:16:39 > 1:16:41are going to get a divorce.
1:16:43 > 1:16:45You know what that is, don't you?
1:16:50 > 1:16:53Daddy's going to move out into a flat of his own.
1:16:53 > 1:16:57It's very near. Only two Tube stops.
1:16:58 > 1:17:00Will John still live here?
1:17:03 > 1:17:04Yes.
1:17:09 > 1:17:11I've got you both...
1:17:13 > 1:17:14...penknives.
1:17:19 > 1:17:23I thought you're such big boys now, you'd know how to treat them carefully.
1:17:25 > 1:17:27Don't you love each other any more?
1:17:28 > 1:17:31Oh, yes. Always.
1:17:31 > 1:17:34Very, very much.
1:17:44 > 1:17:47- There's a wine merchant's. - And they do deliveries.
1:17:47 > 1:17:48And he can eat here some nights.
1:17:48 > 1:17:51- And I'll cook too. - He won't starve.
1:17:51 > 1:17:53Or be lonely.
1:17:53 > 1:17:55I do worry about him.
1:17:55 > 1:17:58I know. You don't have to.
1:17:58 > 1:18:00Your job now.
1:18:00 > 1:18:04No, I didn't mean that. I meant there's nothing to worry about.
1:18:04 > 1:18:06Everything will be fine.
1:18:06 > 1:18:08Will you be?
1:18:08 > 1:18:10I'm ready.
1:18:10 > 1:18:13And someone will employ me, eventually.
1:18:13 > 1:18:16I hope.
1:18:16 > 1:18:18Boys want to say goodnight.
1:18:20 > 1:18:23It's what I want.
1:18:23 > 1:18:25- The public will no doubt despise me...- No, Hattie.
1:18:25 > 1:18:27..but it is what I want.
1:18:38 > 1:18:40All right?
1:18:40 > 1:18:42Fuck off!
1:18:49 > 1:18:51I'm the Count of Monte Cristo.
1:18:53 > 1:18:55A secret hidden in the castle.
1:18:57 > 1:18:59Don't worry, I haven't read it.
1:18:59 > 1:19:01You're not a bit of rough.
1:19:01 > 1:19:05- That's what it's gonna look like in the divorce court.- Yes.
1:19:05 > 1:19:07You'll be all right though, won't you?
1:19:07 > 1:19:09Why wouldn't I be?
1:19:09 > 1:19:12I'm Eric Sykes's sister, I don't have sex!
1:19:16 > 1:19:18SHE SIGHS
1:19:18 > 1:19:20When the divorce is filed,
1:19:20 > 1:19:24I'll be the adulterer and you'll be the fancy man.
1:19:24 > 1:19:28They'll never forgive me and they'll hate you.
1:19:28 > 1:19:32I'll be hated for you.
1:19:32 > 1:19:35I'll be Mr Jacques.
1:19:35 > 1:19:37I'll be anything.
1:19:37 > 1:19:39I'm your man.
1:19:41 > 1:19:43Yes, you are...my man.
1:19:54 > 1:19:56DOORBELL RINGS
1:20:02 > 1:20:04So what do you think?
1:20:08 > 1:20:10I don't know what to say.
1:20:10 > 1:20:12Just say yes.
1:20:13 > 1:20:16You'll be the scarlet woman.
1:20:16 > 1:20:20Only to the press. To the court I'll be "the guilty party".
1:20:20 > 1:20:24I wanted to be the scarlet woman!
1:20:26 > 1:20:29No-one need ever know about you and John.
1:20:29 > 1:20:30It's so...
1:20:30 > 1:20:33generous of you.
1:20:33 > 1:20:37- Actually, it was the solicitor's idea.- Mm.
1:20:37 > 1:20:40What do you think?
1:20:40 > 1:20:42It's your decision.
1:20:42 > 1:20:44Yes. You decide.
1:20:51 > 1:20:53..Been through this for quite some time.
1:20:53 > 1:20:57- All the relevant documents will be forwarded to me in due course?- Yes.
1:20:57 > 1:21:02Thank you. Well, thank you very much for making it as painless as it was.
1:21:08 > 1:21:11Hm...that went rather well, don't you think?
1:21:11 > 1:21:14Yeah. It's a good divorce.
1:21:16 > 1:21:19I heard one reporter say, "Course, she had to be a thin bird!"
1:21:23 > 1:21:26- Joan...- Stop it.
1:21:28 > 1:21:31I'm eternally grateful.
1:21:31 > 1:21:34It's official. I steal husbands.
1:21:34 > 1:21:37Typical thin bird!
1:21:40 > 1:21:43Our home is your home.
1:21:43 > 1:21:47Really. I want to see you both all the time.
1:21:47 > 1:21:51I love you both so much.
1:21:53 > 1:21:55MAN: John!
1:21:56 > 1:22:00- Oh, they're still out there. - We'll go first.
1:22:14 > 1:22:16Thank you.
1:22:16 > 1:22:19Whatever for?
1:22:20 > 1:22:24For ending our lovely marriage so beautifully.
1:22:27 > 1:22:29Goodbye, my love.
1:22:36 > 1:22:37I'll see you soon, Hattie.
1:22:50 > 1:22:53PRESS SHOUT
1:22:53 > 1:22:57- I don't feel like I deserve this. - Well, maybe you don't.
1:23:00 > 1:23:03- I suppose I should go first. - Thank you.
1:23:05 > 1:23:06I'll get the car.
1:23:37 > 1:23:39PRESS CLAMOUR
1:24:25 > 1:24:28# Your baby loves you now
1:24:29 > 1:24:31# So don't make him blue now
1:24:32 > 1:24:35# You'd better start being true now
1:24:36 > 1:24:38# I'm telling you why
1:24:38 > 1:24:40# Because
1:24:40 > 1:24:43# If you break his heart
1:24:44 > 1:24:47# Somebody's gonna come along and cheer
1:24:47 > 1:24:50# Steal him away from you
1:24:51 > 1:24:53# Somebody like me. #