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0:00:21 > 0:00:27- Ladies and gentlemen, please give - a warm welcome to Miss Erin Hughes.
0:00:27 > 0:00:29- APPLAUSE
0:00:41 > 0:00:45- I'm a Ms. Yes, a Ms.
0:00:45 > 0:00:50- I've been a Miss, - I've been a Mrs and now I'm a Ms.
0:00:51 > 0:00:53- OK?
0:00:54 > 0:00:57- Well, hello. Is everyone OK?
0:00:57 > 0:00:58- Well, hello. Is everyone OK?- - Yes!
0:00:58 > 0:01:03- Very good. How many of you - here tonight are single? Hands up.
0:01:04 > 0:01:06- Oh. About half of you.
0:01:06 > 0:01:09- Not bad.
0:01:09 > 0:01:13- That means there are - quite a few happily marrieds here.
0:01:14 > 0:01:16- Great.
0:01:16 > 0:01:21- How many of you here tonight - are divorced? Hands up.
0:01:22 > 0:01:24- Estranged.
0:01:28 > 0:01:31- There are about five of you.
0:01:31 > 0:01:35- Just so that you know, - you are my people.
0:01:35 > 0:01:37- Yay!
0:01:37 > 0:01:40- I feel your pain.
0:01:40 > 0:01:44- I'm going to tell you - how to spend your settlements.
0:01:44 > 0:01:46- Booze!
0:01:47 > 0:01:49- CHEERING
0:02:51 > 0:02:54- What did I get from my husband?
0:02:54 > 0:02:58- Well, I got a car. I got a house.
0:02:58 > 0:03:02- And I got - a very nasty dose of thrush.
0:03:06 > 0:03:08- No, not really!
0:03:08 > 0:03:12- But what I got from him - was a new name.
0:03:13 > 0:03:17- Mrs Erin Fleming.
0:03:17 > 0:03:20- Imagine that.
0:03:20 > 0:03:23- A surname that makes me - sound like I'm good at...
0:03:24 > 0:03:25- ..phlegming.
0:03:25 > 0:03:27- Nice, eh?
0:03:27 > 0:03:31- Why couldn't I have fallen - for someone called...
0:03:31 > 0:03:34- ..Martin Angelbody?
0:03:35 > 0:03:37- Life would've been a lot easier.
0:03:39 > 0:03:41- Jo? Red or white?
0:03:42 > 0:03:44- Lovely.
0:03:50 > 0:03:53- Bring the measuring jug with you.
0:04:01 > 0:04:04- I've saved 85.
0:04:05 > 0:04:08- Who's going to look at my feet?
0:04:08 > 0:04:11- You're going - to a wedding in Chester.
0:04:11 > 0:04:13- Why buy a new dress, hat and bag...
0:04:13 > 0:04:16- ..if you're going to wear - horrible shoes?
0:04:16 > 0:04:18- OK, you're right.
0:04:20 > 0:04:24- Don't forget to measure it. - There's a weigh-in tomorrow night.
0:04:28 > 0:04:30- Have you heard from the builder?
0:04:31 > 0:04:34- The bloke who came - to quote for work on the patio?
0:04:34 > 0:04:36- You said he was very chatty.
0:04:36 > 0:04:38- You said he was very chatty.- - He's 10 years younger than me.
0:04:39 > 0:04:41- The riper the fruit, - the better the taste.
0:04:42 > 0:04:45- That's what Sali Cil-Yr-Ywen - used to say.
0:04:45 > 0:04:48- Four Pro Plus points.
0:04:48 > 0:04:51- You'd better not. No, don't. No.
0:04:51 > 0:04:53- You shouldn't.
0:04:53 > 0:04:58- I don't know what I'd have done - without my best friend Joanne.
0:04:58 > 0:05:00- She's been through a divorce too.
0:05:00 > 0:05:02- Mine.
0:05:04 > 0:05:07- She was the one - who wanted to castrate Kevin...
0:05:08 > 0:05:10- ..in the middle of John Lewis...
0:05:10 > 0:05:12- ..with a garlic press.
0:05:14 > 0:05:16- Seriously!
0:05:16 > 0:05:19- Fair play, - Jo's great for saying it as it is...
0:05:19 > 0:05:22- ..especially after - a glass or two of wine.
0:05:22 > 0:05:24- Fair play to her.
0:05:25 > 0:05:27- She's good with men too.
0:05:27 > 0:05:31- We were in a bar the other night and - a man offered to buy her a drink.
0:05:31 > 0:05:34- "No, thanks," she said. - "Why not?" he asked.
0:05:34 > 0:05:38- "It has a strange effect - on my legs," she said.
0:05:39 > 0:05:41- "Does it make them swell?" he asked.
0:05:42 > 0:05:44- "No, it makes them part."
0:05:50 > 0:05:52- Joanne.
0:05:52 > 0:05:57- Anyway, Jo has a new boyfriend now.
0:05:57 > 0:06:00- His name's Marvin.
0:06:00 > 0:06:04- That's right, Marvin.
0:06:04 > 0:06:10- Like this gentleman - in the front row here...
0:06:10 > 0:06:13- ..I'm guessing - Marvin had a shit time in school.
0:06:13 > 0:06:16- Not because they called him gay...
0:06:16 > 0:06:22- ..but because everyone - wanted sexual healing from him.
0:06:22 > 0:06:24- Poor dab.
0:06:28 > 0:06:32- Right then. All you single men, - on your feet, please.
0:06:40 > 0:06:42- You'll have to go back - and buy those shoes.
0:06:43 > 0:06:46- I don't want to look - like mutton dressed as lamb.
0:06:46 > 0:06:50- You're on the pull in this wedding, - don't forget.
0:06:50 > 0:06:52- I don't know if I want to go.
0:06:52 > 0:06:54- You can't pull out now.
0:06:54 > 0:06:56- No, it's just...
0:06:57 > 0:06:59- You might meet someone.
0:06:59 > 0:07:02- You definitely will - when I put you on a dating site.
0:07:02 > 0:07:04- Everyone does it.
0:07:04 > 0:07:07- Maybe even Kevin has.
0:07:09 > 0:07:11- That doesn't help.
0:07:16 > 0:07:18- What's the Welsh word - for fascinator?
0:07:19 > 0:07:21- I don't know.
0:07:22 > 0:07:24- Diddorol?
0:07:24 > 0:07:26- Diddorolyn.
0:07:26 > 0:07:27- Diddorolyn!
0:07:28 > 0:07:30- Ooh, I love your fascinator!
0:07:30 > 0:07:32- And I love yours.
0:07:32 > 0:07:36- I'm going to tickle - Marvin's fancy with my fascinator...
0:07:37 > 0:07:39- ..until I get his full attention.
0:07:47 > 0:07:48- Smile.
0:08:09 > 0:08:11- Are halter-necks good for big boobs?
0:08:11 > 0:08:14- Yes, they're meant to be. Take it.
0:08:15 > 0:08:17- That's what Gok Wan says.
0:08:17 > 0:08:22- "A halter-neck to emphasize - those bad boys." I love Gok.
0:08:22 > 0:08:25- Marvin would be good - on Good Look Naked.
0:08:25 > 0:08:29- Marvin's body's like corrugated - zinc. He doesn't eat carbs.
0:08:30 > 0:08:32- He's a lion in bed.
0:08:32 > 0:08:35- Going out with a hunk - puts real pressure on me.
0:08:39 > 0:08:42- We're going to have - a good clear-out here.
0:08:42 > 0:08:45- Out with the old, in with the new.
0:08:49 > 0:08:51- This is nice.
0:08:54 > 0:08:58- I don't know if I could cope.
0:08:58 > 0:09:02- Go and fetch a bag so that - we can start putting them in.
0:09:04 > 0:09:08- I bought this in Rhodes. - Summer 2008.
0:09:08 > 0:09:10- It was expensive too.
0:09:12 > 0:09:14- It was all over by then.
0:09:14 > 0:09:18- I remember you coming back. - You were slim and brown as a berry.
0:09:18 > 0:09:20- It was scorching there...
0:09:20 > 0:09:22- ..but I felt so cold inside.
0:09:23 > 0:09:25- Your divorce dress.
0:09:25 > 0:09:28- It's four years in August.
0:09:28 > 0:09:31- Four? God!
0:09:31 > 0:09:34- That's the night - you did stand-up for the first time.
0:09:34 > 0:09:36- I didn't force you to do it.
0:09:36 > 0:09:37- I didn't force you to do it.- - I was drunk.
0:09:37 > 0:09:39- You were hilarious...
0:09:40 > 0:09:43- ..ranting about Kevin - and his redundant willy.
0:09:43 > 0:09:46- You're so much happier now.
0:09:46 > 0:09:50- Do you think so? - I'm single, divorced.
0:09:50 > 0:09:54- I'm going to my first wedding - with you as my plus one.
0:09:55 > 0:10:00- You're gorgeous, you own - your own home, you do stand-up.
0:10:01 > 0:10:03- You won't be single for very long.
0:10:03 > 0:10:07- And I'm not a plus anything, - thank you very much.
0:10:07 > 0:10:09- I'm on my way to my target weight.
0:10:09 > 0:10:11- Does it look like I've lost weight?
0:10:11 > 0:10:12- Does it look like I've lost weight?- - Yes.
0:10:12 > 0:10:14- Muscle weighs more than fat.
0:10:14 > 0:10:15- Muscle weighs more than fat.- - I mean it.
0:10:15 > 0:10:19- That's what I like about you. - You're honest.
0:10:19 > 0:10:21- That was Kevin's problem.
0:10:22 > 0:10:25- He wasn't honest with you - or with himself.
0:10:29 > 0:10:32- He was honest for 11 years.
0:10:32 > 0:10:34- Marvin's honest.
0:10:35 > 0:10:38- He's a typical alpha male, - full of witty banter.
0:10:38 > 0:10:40- You'll love him.
0:10:41 > 0:10:43- Oh, my God!
0:10:43 > 0:10:45- You've kept your wedding dress.
0:11:08 > 0:11:10- What was I thinking?
0:11:15 > 0:11:17- Now that's what you call a meringue.
0:11:17 > 0:11:19- Pavlova.
0:11:22 > 0:11:24- Where's the train?
0:11:24 > 0:11:27- That was beautiful. Did you keep it?
0:11:27 > 0:11:30- No. Auntie Luned - made curtains out of it.
0:11:33 > 0:11:35- They're nice too.
0:11:36 > 0:11:40- I remember you walking in, - with that long train behind you.
0:11:40 > 0:11:42- She's the one.
0:11:43 > 0:11:45- It was Kevin who chose it.
0:11:47 > 0:11:49- What do you have there?
0:11:49 > 0:11:50- Do you remember him?
0:11:50 > 0:11:53- Do you remember him?- - Oh, Huw Bach.
0:11:56 > 0:11:58- He was fit.
0:11:59 > 0:12:03- Joanne was like a stalker - chasing Huw Bach at the wedding.
0:12:03 > 0:12:06- She wanted - to keep the tradition alive...
0:12:07 > 0:12:10- ..of the bridesmaid - copping off with the best man.
0:12:10 > 0:12:15- By the first dance, she was - hanging off Huw Bach's neck...
0:12:15 > 0:12:17- ..like a koala bear...
0:12:18 > 0:12:20- ..in satin.
0:12:20 > 0:12:22- Peach. Pissed.
0:12:23 > 0:12:25- Huw Bach was drunk as a skunk too.
0:12:25 > 0:12:28- His stomach - and the room were spinning.
0:12:29 > 0:12:31- But unfortunately...
0:12:31 > 0:12:36- ..Joanne's corsage - got stuck in Huw Bach's suit.
0:12:36 > 0:12:38- The last people saw...
0:12:38 > 0:12:42- ..was Huw Bach - bombing to the toilet to throw up...
0:12:44 > 0:12:47- ..with Joanne - stuck to him like Velcro!
0:12:48 > 0:12:51- It was like a scene - out of James Bond.
0:12:54 > 0:12:56- What's Huw up to these days?
0:12:56 > 0:12:58- I don't know.
0:12:59 > 0:13:01- About two years later, - after Christmas...
0:13:02 > 0:13:05- ..he and Rhodri Goggles - stopped visiting.
0:13:05 > 0:13:07- Did Kevin say why?
0:13:07 > 0:13:11- No. He just said they were pissheads - and needed to grow up.
0:13:14 > 0:13:18- If you ask me, I reckon - they caught him with someone else.
0:13:24 > 0:13:27- What are you going to do with it?
0:13:29 > 0:13:31- I don't know.
0:13:31 > 0:13:33- I don't know.- - You could put it on eBay.
0:13:33 > 0:13:35- No.
0:13:35 > 0:13:37- On Preloved. Like me.
0:13:52 > 0:13:58- When Kevin left, I kept finding - bits of him around the house...
0:13:58 > 0:14:03- ..like a rolled-up sock - resembling a little hedgehog...
0:14:03 > 0:14:06- ..under the bed.
0:14:06 > 0:14:08- Yuck!
0:14:09 > 0:14:13- Or a pair of his pants among - my bloomers, that type of thing.
0:14:13 > 0:14:17- One year, I bought him - a pair of novelty pants.
0:14:17 > 0:14:20- I don't know why...
0:14:20 > 0:14:23- ..but ones - in the shape of an elephant...
0:14:24 > 0:14:26- ..with a large ear here...
0:14:27 > 0:14:29- ..a large ear here...
0:14:30 > 0:14:34- ..and a trunk where you - were meant to put your trunk.
0:14:37 > 0:14:39- If you know what I mean.
0:14:41 > 0:14:45- But Kevin never managed to put - his trunk where it was meant to go.
0:14:52 > 0:14:54- Whoo-hoo!
0:14:58 > 0:15:01- Hello, Kevin!
0:15:03 > 0:15:04- Yuck!
0:15:07 > 0:15:10- I don't have a bodycon dress.
0:15:11 > 0:15:12- Can I try it on?
0:15:12 > 0:15:14- Can I try it on?- - Of course.
0:15:24 > 0:15:27- It's quite stretchy.
0:15:27 > 0:15:29- It's tight on me.
0:15:32 > 0:15:35- It might be easier - if I stepped into it.
0:15:38 > 0:15:42- I'll go out and try it on - for you to have the full effect.
0:15:47 > 0:15:49- It'll look fab with this.
0:15:49 > 0:15:52- Very Kate Middleton.
0:15:52 > 0:15:54- Very.
0:16:05 > 0:16:07- It's quite tight.
0:16:09 > 0:16:11- Flipping heck.
0:16:17 > 0:16:19- Almost there!
0:16:21 > 0:16:23- Ooh! Ooh!
0:16:23 > 0:16:25- LOUD THUD
0:16:25 > 0:16:28- Jo? Are you alright, Jo?
0:16:30 > 0:16:33- Jo! Jo! Can you hear me, Jo?!
0:16:34 > 0:16:35- Jo?!
0:16:35 > 0:16:38- Please answer me. Jo!
0:16:42 > 0:16:43- DOORBELL
0:16:45 > 0:16:46- Hello?
0:16:46 > 0:16:48- Hello?- - Marvin.
0:16:48 > 0:16:50- I'm Marvin.
0:16:50 > 0:16:52- Joanne's Marvin?
0:16:53 > 0:16:55- Hello. I'll go and get Joanne.
0:16:55 > 0:16:56- How is she?
0:16:56 > 0:16:58- How is she?- - Beautiful.
0:17:11 > 0:17:14- Jo!
0:17:14 > 0:17:16- God, how are you?
0:17:16 > 0:17:18- Stiff.
0:17:18 > 0:17:21- I'm sure - you don't want to go to Chester now.
0:17:21 > 0:17:24- Too bloody right. We're still going.
0:17:26 > 0:17:29- Here we are. Right. Careful.
0:17:37 > 0:17:39- Take my coat.
0:17:42 > 0:17:44- Oh!
0:17:44 > 0:17:46- Mind the step.
0:17:50 > 0:17:52- Take your time.
0:17:52 > 0:17:54- Oh!
0:17:57 > 0:17:59- OK, honey puff?
0:17:59 > 0:18:01- Are you comfortable there?
0:18:01 > 0:18:03- Is that better?
0:18:04 > 0:18:06- I'll be OK now, pumpkin.
0:18:06 > 0:18:10- I'd better go to the library.
0:18:19 > 0:18:22- Text me - when you're ready to come home.
0:18:25 > 0:18:28- No alcohol, Erin. - Joanne's on strong painkillers.
0:18:29 > 0:18:30- Yes, alright.
0:18:30 > 0:18:33- Ta-ta, Marvin. - It was nice to meet you.
0:18:38 > 0:18:40- Honey puff? Pumpkin?
0:18:41 > 0:18:44- Oh, that bloody neck brace - is killing me.
0:18:45 > 0:18:46- Joanne!
0:18:46 > 0:18:49- He likes to make a fuss of me - so why should I spoil his fun?
0:18:50 > 0:18:52- So there's nothing wrong with you!
0:18:53 > 0:18:56- The nurse said - I could have broken a bone.
0:18:56 > 0:19:00- If I had, I'd have to wear - that neck brace for a fortnight.
0:19:00 > 0:19:03- The chair was optional - but Marvin insisted.
0:19:03 > 0:19:05- So you're fooling him, are you?
0:19:05 > 0:19:10- There's nothing wrong with a brace - and chair between consenting adults.
0:19:11 > 0:19:12- I could have broken something.
0:19:12 > 0:19:14- I could have broken something.- - You did, actually.
0:19:26 > 0:19:29- Has the bloke phoned to quote?
0:19:29 > 0:19:30- Who?
0:19:30 > 0:19:32- Who?- - Hugh Jackman.
0:19:32 > 0:19:34- Who do you think? The builder.
0:19:34 > 0:19:36- No.
0:19:36 > 0:19:39- He could have phoned you.
0:19:40 > 0:19:43- Get your laptop - for me to create a profile for you.
0:19:43 > 0:19:45- No.
0:19:45 > 0:19:47- Go and fetch the laptop.
0:19:47 > 0:19:50- Go and fetch the laptop.- - The Internet is full of weirdos.
0:19:55 > 0:19:58- There might be - a decent photo of you in here.
0:20:10 > 0:20:15- Kevin's Rolex? I thought you said - he'd lost it when he moved out?
0:20:16 > 0:20:18- He went to the police.
0:20:18 > 0:20:22- I kept it as insurance - in case I was strapped for cash.
0:20:22 > 0:20:26- He had half of everything, - which is more than he deserves.
0:20:27 > 0:20:30- Do you think - I should give it back to him?
0:20:30 > 0:20:33- No, I didn't say that.
0:20:38 > 0:20:41- Ooh! You bought new shoes after all.
0:20:43 > 0:20:45- These are fab.
0:20:45 > 0:20:49- I was in the shop at 9 o'clock. - Don't put them on the table!
0:20:59 > 0:21:04- Ding-dong, Ms Hughes. - Who are you trying to please?
0:21:04 > 0:21:06- Bob the Builder?
0:21:08 > 0:21:10- Starting the dating game again...
0:21:10 > 0:21:14- ..makes you wonder - what your underwear says about you.
0:21:15 > 0:21:20- If you have a picture - of Marge Simpson on your bloomers...
0:21:20 > 0:21:23- ..then you don't deserve - to have sex.
0:21:27 > 0:21:29- What do a man's pants say about him?
0:21:30 > 0:21:34- What about a man who wears those - aertex things with holes in them?
0:21:34 > 0:21:37- They look like teabags!
0:21:37 > 0:21:41- Or what about - if his pants are so tight...
0:21:41 > 0:21:44- ..he's holding back a hernia?
0:21:46 > 0:21:50- Or how about - when you get down to it...
0:21:50 > 0:21:53- ..and the bloke is wearing Spanx?
0:21:58 > 0:22:01- But the biggest concern, - of course...
0:22:01 > 0:22:05- ..is man who wears a thong.
0:22:08 > 0:22:10- Who in his right mind...
0:22:10 > 0:22:13- ..thinks that a piece - of dental floss...
0:22:13 > 0:22:17- ..can keep two tomatoes - and a courgette under control?
0:22:35 > 0:22:37- Kevin was so good-looking.
0:22:38 > 0:22:40- You'd have had beautiful children.
0:22:43 > 0:22:46- Do you ever regret - not having children with him?
0:22:47 > 0:22:49- He didn't want any.
0:22:49 > 0:22:53- I remember reaching the point - in our marriage...
0:22:53 > 0:22:57- ..when I knew - we weren't going to have children.
0:22:57 > 0:22:59- That was that.
0:22:59 > 0:23:01- What a shame.
0:23:02 > 0:23:04- Things changed.
0:23:05 > 0:23:08- Looking back, it's plain to see...
0:23:09 > 0:23:12- ..he didn't want me.
0:23:12 > 0:23:14- He just didn't want me.
0:23:38 > 0:23:42- It's a difficult job - choosing a profile picture...
0:23:42 > 0:23:46- ..because everyone chooses - a younger picture of themselves.
0:23:47 > 0:23:50- Come on, you all do it. - I know you do.
0:23:51 > 0:23:56- But choosing a picture - in school uniform and pigtails...
0:23:56 > 0:23:59- ..is a bit dodgy, isn't it?
0:24:00 > 0:24:05- Especially if you're - a 16-stone trucker from Rhyl...
0:24:05 > 0:24:07- ..and your name's Geoff!
0:24:09 > 0:24:13- Right, you have to think of - three words that best describe you.
0:24:15 > 0:24:16- Warm.
0:24:16 > 0:24:18- Funny.
0:24:18 > 0:24:19- Sexy.
0:24:19 > 0:24:22- Sexy.- - Don't use sexy.
0:24:22 > 0:24:24- Warm. Funny.
0:24:24 > 0:24:26- No, you're right.
0:24:35 > 0:24:37- Here's a tip for you, ladies.
0:24:37 > 0:24:41- If the top of a man's head - has been chopped off a photograph...
0:24:42 > 0:24:47- ..you're guaranteed that - the bloke is as bald as Matt Lucas.
0:24:48 > 0:24:49- DOORBELL
0:24:59 > 0:25:00- Hiya.
0:25:00 > 0:25:02- Hiya.- - Hi.
0:25:09 > 0:25:11- "Up. For. Anything."
0:25:11 > 0:25:15- Those are the three words - you used to describe me.
0:25:15 > 0:25:18- I've had 62 emails - that are either disgusting...
0:25:19 > 0:25:22- ..suggestive - or just downright weird.
0:25:22 > 0:25:24- Really? 62 responses!
0:25:25 > 0:25:27- It's not funny.
0:25:27 > 0:25:30- Give it here. - I'll change the description.
0:25:30 > 0:25:31- How long will you keep this up?
0:25:31 > 0:25:33- How long will you keep this up?- - Only until the wedding.
0:25:40 > 0:25:45- You're cool about creating a new - profile, aren't you? A proper one?
0:25:45 > 0:25:47- Yes.
0:25:49 > 0:25:52- But I doubt anyone - would be interested in me.
0:25:52 > 0:25:55- There's someone out there for you.
0:25:56 > 0:25:58- I loved Kevin.
0:26:01 > 0:26:03- You're better off without him.
0:26:08 > 0:26:10- R&B MUSIC
0:26:18 > 0:26:19- # Hey, girl
0:26:20 > 0:26:22- # You got me going through #
0:26:22 > 0:26:26- # Thinking of something to say - before I lose my... #
0:26:35 > 0:26:39- # Like this
0:26:39 > 0:26:41- # I'll... #
0:26:50 > 0:26:51- MOBILE PHONE VIBRATES
0:27:01 > 0:27:05- "Hiya, babe. Joanne here. - Leave a message after the beep.
0:27:05 > 0:27:08- Joanne here. - Leave a message after the beep."
0:27:35 > 0:27:37- Thank you.
0:27:46 > 0:27:48- Thank you.
0:27:55 > 0:27:59- This feels like saying goodbye - to a lover before going to war.
0:28:00 > 0:28:04- It's easy to confuse a weekend in - Chester with a tour of Afghanistan.
0:28:06 > 0:28:07- Be careful, honey puff.
0:28:07 > 0:28:09- Be careful, honey puff.- - We'll only be away for two nights.
0:28:09 > 0:28:11- Bye, Marvin!
0:28:11 > 0:28:16- Bye-bye, my gorgeous pumpkin! - Be sure to dream about me!
0:28:33 > 0:28:35- Oi! Wait for me!
0:28:36 > 0:28:39- What's all this pumpkin business?
0:28:39 > 0:28:40- He has a nice bottom.
0:28:40 > 0:28:42- He has a nice bottom.- - Like a pumpkin?
0:28:42 > 0:28:44- Two pumpkins, actually.
0:28:46 > 0:28:48- Thank goodness for that.
0:28:48 > 0:28:51- This business with Marvin - and the neck brace is weird.
0:28:52 > 0:28:56- Weird in a good way. Have you had - more responses to your profile?
0:28:57 > 0:29:00- No, but a Derwyn from Swansea - contacted me...
0:29:00 > 0:29:03- ..asking - if I liked dressing up as a clown.
0:29:03 > 0:29:06- Honestly. A clown!
0:29:06 > 0:29:08- What's wrong with that?
0:29:08 > 0:29:10- Weirdo.
0:29:18 > 0:29:21- Hi. Erin Hughes. - I've got a twin room.
0:29:23 > 0:29:26- If you could - just sign there for me, please.
0:29:27 > 0:29:28- Peaches.
0:29:28 > 0:29:31- Peaches.- - We have a message for you.
0:29:34 > 0:29:38- I want a bath - and a large glass of red wine.
0:29:41 > 0:29:44- Can I leave that - for the wedding party, please?
0:29:46 > 0:29:50- Marvin's upgraded us. No man - has ever done that for me before.
0:29:50 > 0:29:53- Really?
0:29:53 > 0:29:59- There are some people - like Joanne who love romance.
0:30:01 > 0:30:04- You know, - that thing called romance.
0:30:04 > 0:30:09- Just silly little gestures - like receiving flowers...
0:30:09 > 0:30:14- ..or a cake - with a message written on it.
0:30:15 > 0:30:20- In fact, I remember Joanne - having a cake with writing on it.
0:30:20 > 0:30:22- But she was disappointed.
0:30:23 > 0:30:25- This is what was written on it.
0:30:25 > 0:30:28- I love you...
0:30:28 > 0:30:32- ..and I want it written - in pink icing with sparkles...
0:30:32 > 0:30:34- ..and a balloon attached to it.
0:30:41 > 0:30:43- A hell of a long cake!
0:30:44 > 0:30:50- It just goes to show that you can - never bank on the IQ of a baker.
0:31:11 > 0:31:15- "I miss you so much, honey puff.
0:31:15 > 0:31:18- "Enjoy the wedding and the bubbles."
0:31:18 > 0:31:22- Upgrade and champagne - - he's such a sweetheart.
0:31:23 > 0:31:27- Yo, Jo, - he hasn't got us an upgrade...
0:31:27 > 0:31:29- ..but a disabled room...
0:31:29 > 0:31:32- ..because of that - blinking neck brace.
0:31:35 > 0:31:38- He was only thinking of me.
0:31:38 > 0:31:40- But you aren't disabled.
0:31:40 > 0:31:43- What if a disabled person - needed the room?
0:31:43 > 0:31:48- And what about the photographs? - Have you thought about that?
0:31:49 > 0:31:52- Marvin will expect to see you - in a neck brace tomorrow...
0:31:53 > 0:31:55- ..so you'll have to wear it.
0:31:55 > 0:32:00- You'll have to wear it around - the hotel in case we lose the room.
0:32:22 > 0:32:24- RAUCOUS LAUGHTER
0:32:34 > 0:32:36- Was it a good night?
0:32:41 > 0:32:43- Lewis Rees, hotel manager.
0:32:44 > 0:32:45- Erin.
0:32:45 > 0:32:48- Joanne. It's nice to meet you.
0:32:49 > 0:32:51- Have you had an accident?
0:32:51 > 0:32:54- Well, I do stand-up comedy...
0:32:54 > 0:32:57- ..and was trying out - something new for the act.
0:32:57 > 0:33:00- I've never met - a stand-up comic before.
0:33:01 > 0:33:03- Joanne?
0:33:03 > 0:33:06- Do you need a hand?
0:33:09 > 0:33:12- You're out of practice there, I see.
0:33:12 > 0:33:15- They're harder than bras - to take off.
0:33:16 > 0:33:17- Thank you.
0:33:18 > 0:33:19- Can I buy you both a drink?
0:33:19 > 0:33:21- Can I buy you both a drink?- - Not for me, thanks.
0:33:21 > 0:33:24- I want some FaceTime - with my boyfriend...
0:33:24 > 0:33:26- ..but Erin would be delighted.
0:33:26 > 0:33:29- Brandy is her tipple. Thank you.
0:33:29 > 0:33:31- Yes, one drink.
0:33:32 > 0:33:35- Goodnight! Enjoy yourselves.
0:33:38 > 0:33:41- I like flirting.
0:33:43 > 0:33:47- There are - three things I do when I'm flirting.
0:33:47 > 0:33:49- Firstly, I flutter my eyelashes.
0:33:50 > 0:33:53- Secondly, I'm funny and charming.
0:33:53 > 0:33:56- And thirdly, I show my tits.
0:33:59 > 0:34:02- But not tonight. Not tonight.
0:34:02 > 0:34:05- Flirting is difficult - when you're out of practice.
0:34:05 > 0:34:09- Taking things - to the next level is impossible.
0:34:09 > 0:34:14- To tell you the truth, - Jo had a nightmarish ordeal.
0:34:15 > 0:34:19- She went to - Keith Plumpton's parents' home...
0:34:20 > 0:34:22- ..to do it for the first time.
0:34:24 > 0:34:27- Keith Plumpton's parents...
0:34:27 > 0:34:29- ..had gone on holiday.
0:34:30 > 0:34:32- Do you know where this one's going?
0:34:35 > 0:34:38- His parents came home early - from their holiday.
0:34:38 > 0:34:42- Jo was butt naked - in the living room.
0:34:44 > 0:34:48- So she went to hide - behind the curtains.
0:34:48 > 0:34:51- Mr and Mrs Plumpton came in...
0:34:51 > 0:34:55- ..and had a perfectly normal - conversation with their son...
0:34:55 > 0:34:59- ..though he was sitting - in the living room in his pants.
0:34:59 > 0:35:02- Anyway, as they - were leaving the living room...
0:35:03 > 0:35:07- ..Mrs Plumpton - turned round and said...
0:35:07 > 0:35:12- .."Keith, that's a lovely shade of - nail varnish under those curtains."
0:35:37 > 0:35:39- Are you still awake?
0:35:39 > 0:35:41- I've been sex-texting Marvin.
0:35:42 > 0:35:43- Eurgh! What, for two hours?
0:35:43 > 0:35:45- Eurgh! What, for two hours?- - He had a dodgy signal.
0:35:52 > 0:35:53- Come on. Spill.
0:35:56 > 0:35:59- Is he married? Single? Divorced?
0:35:59 > 0:36:02- No, yes, yes.
0:36:02 > 0:36:03- What have you been doing?
0:36:03 > 0:36:05- What have you been doing?- - We had a drink.
0:36:05 > 0:36:07- Mr Right is out there somewhere.
0:36:07 > 0:36:09- Mr Right is out there somewhere.- - Don't tell me.
0:36:09 > 0:36:11- Sali Cil-Yr-Ywen!
0:36:12 > 0:36:14- Nothing gets on my pip...
0:36:14 > 0:36:19- ..more than people - offering a cliche...
0:36:19 > 0:36:22- ..when a relationship has ended...
0:36:22 > 0:36:24- ..to make you feel better.
0:36:26 > 0:36:29- Especially if you're the one - who's been dumped. Brilliant!
0:36:30 > 0:36:33- "There are - plenty more fish in the sea."
0:36:33 > 0:36:36- And crabs!
0:36:43 > 0:36:47- You've got a picture of Marvin - on your pillow!
0:36:48 > 0:36:50- He has one of me too.
0:36:50 > 0:36:52- Budge up.
0:36:55 > 0:36:56- KNOCK ON DOOR
0:36:58 > 0:37:00- Good morning.
0:37:06 > 0:37:07- What a sweetheart!
0:37:07 > 0:37:10- What a sweetheart!- - Compliments of the manager.
0:37:21 > 0:37:23- Thank you. One, two, three.
0:37:32 > 0:37:33- You did really well.
0:37:34 > 0:37:38- Some could never have done what - you did today. I'm so proud of you.
0:37:41 > 0:37:43- Having a good time?
0:37:44 > 0:37:47- Yes, thank you. - And thanks for the breakfast too.
0:37:47 > 0:37:48- PEOPLE APPLAUD
0:37:59 > 0:38:02- I should have realized - he was gay straight away.
0:38:03 > 0:38:05- Oh, that's an oxymoron!
0:38:05 > 0:38:07- Never mind!
0:38:10 > 0:38:13- I was the one - stealing his toiletries.
0:38:14 > 0:38:17- He used - Creme de la Mer, for God's sake!
0:38:20 > 0:38:23- Erin...
0:38:23 > 0:38:25- Congratulations.
0:38:29 > 0:38:30- Thank you for coming.
0:38:31 > 0:38:33- Sorry, you haven't met.
0:38:34 > 0:38:36- Lewis, this is Kevin.
0:38:36 > 0:38:38- Lewis, this is Kevin.- - Erin's ex-husband.
0:38:38 > 0:38:41- Congratulations.
0:38:41 > 0:38:45- Lewis Rees. We've spoken - on the phone. I'm the hotel manager.
0:38:45 > 0:38:47- Yes, of course.
0:38:48 > 0:38:50- Greg...
0:38:50 > 0:38:52- ..congratulations.
0:38:54 > 0:38:57- Anyway, I'm back on the market...
0:38:57 > 0:38:59- ..you'll be pleased to hear.
0:39:00 > 0:39:03- And I'm searching for a partner.
0:39:03 > 0:39:05- Wahey!
0:39:05 > 0:39:10- But what if that man - is sitting right under my nose?
0:39:10 > 0:39:12- Wahey!
0:39:13 > 0:39:16- Is there anyone here - with a sensible surname...
0:39:17 > 0:39:19- ..such as Jones, Roberts or Thomas?
0:39:20 > 0:39:23- What about you there with the beard?
0:39:25 > 0:39:27- Come on up. I've chosen my victim.
0:39:28 > 0:39:30- Up you come.
0:39:30 > 0:39:32- Come and stand here.
0:39:33 > 0:39:36- What's your name, sir?
0:39:36 > 0:39:38- Stephen Matthews.
0:39:38 > 0:39:41- Oh, Stephen Matthews. Erin Matthews.
0:39:42 > 0:39:44- Erin Matthews.
0:39:44 > 0:39:48- Congratulations, Stephen, - because you've pulled!
0:39:50 > 0:39:54- See you in the bar later, - Stephen Matthews.
0:39:54 > 0:39:58- I've been Erin Hughes - and you've been blinking marvellous!
0:40:37 > 0:40:40- S4C Subtitles by Adnod Cyf.
0:40:40 > 0:40:41- .