0:00:02 > 0:00:06This programme contains strong language
0:00:06 > 0:00:08What are you doing?
0:00:08 > 0:00:11Nothing. I'm just recording something.
0:00:11 > 0:00:12OK.
0:00:13 > 0:00:17Oh! Don't...
0:00:17 > 0:00:20Don't delete the stuff we recorded the other night.
0:00:20 > 0:00:23- The intimate stuff.- Go away.
0:00:26 > 0:00:27OK.
0:00:34 > 0:00:37Hiya. I, uh...
0:00:37 > 0:00:39I just wanted to say a few things
0:00:39 > 0:00:43because I might not be here when you're old enough to understand.
0:00:44 > 0:00:46There's so much I want to say to you
0:00:46 > 0:00:51but now I'm here doing it, of course, I'm not sure where to start.
0:00:51 > 0:00:54I'm Anna, by the way.
0:00:54 > 0:00:55I'm your mum.
0:00:56 > 0:00:58And I love you very much.
0:01:35 > 0:01:36CAMERA BEEPS
0:01:36 > 0:01:38Just so you know, we're recording this
0:01:38 > 0:01:40as part of the assessment process.
0:01:40 > 0:01:44Do I look at the camera? Do I look at... You?
0:01:44 > 0:01:46- This is all very...- I know.
0:01:46 > 0:01:50I'm going to need you to be as relaxed about this as possible.
0:01:50 > 0:01:53Easily said but very difficult to do, I know.
0:01:53 > 0:01:57Now, after this chat, we'll go and see Danielle, OK?
0:01:57 > 0:01:58OK.
0:01:58 > 0:02:00So tell me about Tom.
0:02:00 > 0:02:02You've never done a midnight skinny dip?!
0:02:02 > 0:02:05There's something about the water at midnight.
0:02:05 > 0:02:07- You've seen Gremlins, right? - You're not convincing me here.
0:02:07 > 0:02:10It's freezing. People are going to be watching.
0:02:10 > 0:02:12- There's a party going on right there, you know.- Fuck 'em.
0:02:12 > 0:02:15- Shoes off.- Oi, stop!
0:02:15 > 0:02:16Don't worry, I'll look after you.
0:02:16 > 0:02:19- OK, well, maybe I won't entirely believe you on that one.- Why?
0:02:19 > 0:02:21Because A - you're blind and B - you're drunk.
0:02:21 > 0:02:23Partially sighted, if you don't mind.
0:02:23 > 0:02:26It's dark. I imagine you're pretty blind right now.
0:02:26 > 0:02:30You're a bit fucking forward, aren't you? I don't even know your name.
0:02:31 > 0:02:34What's your name again?
0:02:34 > 0:02:35Anna.
0:02:35 > 0:02:38Well, Anna...
0:02:38 > 0:02:39I'm Tom.
0:02:41 > 0:02:45And right now I'm going to rip your clothes off
0:02:45 > 0:02:48and throw you in the pool, because you need it.
0:02:49 > 0:02:52Trust me. You need it.
0:03:05 > 0:03:08- She's kind.- In what way?
0:03:08 > 0:03:10Sorry, I don't understand.
0:03:10 > 0:03:14Just describe how she's kind.
0:03:14 > 0:03:15She's...
0:03:16 > 0:03:20She doesn't like people being hurt.
0:03:20 > 0:03:22She doesn't ever laugh at You've Been Framed because
0:03:22 > 0:03:26she's worried that they're hurt. She always shares her chips. She's kind.
0:03:26 > 0:03:29- I'm not here to catch you out, Tom.- Aren't you?
0:03:32 > 0:03:36OK, if I were to ask you to describe your relationship,
0:03:36 > 0:03:37what word would you use?
0:03:38 > 0:03:40Saucy.
0:03:43 > 0:03:44I don't know. Happy.
0:03:48 > 0:03:50THEY PANT
0:04:00 > 0:04:02When you look at me like that,
0:04:02 > 0:04:05what do you see?
0:04:05 > 0:04:09I mean, are these Kim Kardashian tits in your eyes? Are you...?
0:04:09 > 0:04:11I can make most things out.
0:04:14 > 0:04:15So what do you see?
0:04:18 > 0:04:19In this light...
0:04:21 > 0:04:24..you're a very lovely blur.
0:04:24 > 0:04:26SHE LAUGHS
0:04:29 > 0:04:33OK... My turn for a question.
0:04:36 > 0:04:39How much of that did you feel?
0:04:39 > 0:04:44I mean... You can feel?
0:04:44 > 0:04:47Yes, Tom. I can feel.
0:05:00 > 0:05:04So I suppose me getting anal without you realising is
0:05:04 > 0:05:06completely out of the question, then.
0:05:09 > 0:05:12THEY LAUGH
0:05:17 > 0:05:20In life, and you'll learn this,
0:05:20 > 0:05:23there's moments when everything changes.
0:05:24 > 0:05:26Pregnant?
0:05:26 > 0:05:27Yeah.
0:05:30 > 0:05:34'When I found out about you, I couldn't believe it, and even though
0:05:34 > 0:05:38'they said having you might be a bit tricky, I didn't think twice.'
0:05:38 > 0:05:41Ultimately it's down to you, of course, Anna.
0:05:41 > 0:05:44Because these risks are not minimal risks.
0:05:45 > 0:05:49I think maybe we should talk about this. I'm just saying...
0:05:49 > 0:05:52You think what? My whole fucking life has been a risk!
0:05:56 > 0:05:58You OK, Tom?
0:05:58 > 0:06:02- You seem a bit troubled.- No, I'm...
0:06:02 > 0:06:05I'm just... I'm frustrated that I'm not saying the right thing.
0:06:05 > 0:06:07And what do you think the right thing to say is?
0:06:07 > 0:06:09If I knew that, I'd be saying is, wouldn't I?
0:06:09 > 0:06:12Look, you keep asking me to constantly spout different ways
0:06:12 > 0:06:15of describing her, the situations we've been in, how I feel
0:06:15 > 0:06:17and I really, I lack the adjectives.
0:06:17 > 0:06:21You seem to actually have a very extensive vocabulary, Tom.
0:06:21 > 0:06:24Yes, but the only word I can think of when describing
0:06:24 > 0:06:26me, her and Dani is "happy" and...
0:06:28 > 0:06:31..I've already used that word up.
0:06:31 > 0:06:33MONITOR BEEPS
0:06:36 > 0:06:37- MUFFLED:- Ten...
0:06:39 > 0:06:41..nine...
0:06:43 > 0:06:45..eight...
0:06:49 > 0:06:50..seven...
0:07:09 > 0:07:11- You should be with her. - They said I'd get in the way.
0:07:11 > 0:07:14- Well, you should have insisted. - And if I'd got in the way?
0:07:14 > 0:07:16Well, they could have sat you in the corner.
0:07:24 > 0:07:28Your father read in a magazine that it's very important for a baby
0:07:28 > 0:07:31to feel his father's skin. Apparently it's bonding.
0:07:31 > 0:07:33Apparently it's quite the thing now
0:07:33 > 0:07:35for fathers to stand around with their tops off.
0:07:35 > 0:07:38- Did Dad stand around with his top off?- Of course he didn't!
0:07:41 > 0:07:45Even if he had, he was getting a bit flabby even then.
0:07:47 > 0:07:50She could die, Mum.
0:07:50 > 0:07:53I know. I know.
0:07:55 > 0:07:58'I want you to be a fighter, Dani. There'll be times in your life
0:07:58 > 0:08:01'when you're told that something is impossible,
0:08:01 > 0:08:03'that you can't do something,
0:08:03 > 0:08:07'you can't be something, and when that happens, you need to fight.'
0:08:08 > 0:08:10I'm sorry this is difficult.
0:08:10 > 0:08:13It's a process which decides what's best for Danielle.
0:08:13 > 0:08:15And who decides that?
0:08:15 > 0:08:17Us here at Children's Services,
0:08:17 > 0:08:21your key worker and everyone who's looking out for you.
0:08:21 > 0:08:26We're here to make sure Danielle gets the level of care she needs,
0:08:26 > 0:08:29and whether or not you can provide that care.
0:08:29 > 0:08:32And we will need to consider all options, I'm afraid,
0:08:32 > 0:08:34including fostering.
0:08:45 > 0:08:49You're doing really well. OK?
0:08:51 > 0:08:53Dani...
0:08:53 > 0:08:54She's alive.
0:08:57 > 0:08:58You're both alive.
0:09:04 > 0:09:06Do you know how dangerous it was for Anna?
0:09:08 > 0:09:11We risked everything for her, for Dani.
0:09:14 > 0:09:16So, it went well.
0:09:16 > 0:09:19- Am I gripping too tight or walking too fast?- No, no.
0:09:19 > 0:09:23- I don't know if you can see, but she's...- I can see enough.
0:09:23 > 0:09:25She's a beautiful little girl.
0:09:49 > 0:09:53Dani is going to have a number of obstacles in her life.
0:09:53 > 0:09:55She may be disabled herself.
0:09:55 > 0:09:58She certainly has disabled parents.
0:09:59 > 0:10:01I know this is hard, Tom,
0:10:01 > 0:10:04but the truth is, we don't know how long Anna will be around
0:10:04 > 0:10:06and your sight is getting worse.
0:10:08 > 0:10:11We have to be sure Dani is going to be safe.
0:10:15 > 0:10:19OK, so, Danielle Watson...
0:10:20 > 0:10:23Yeah. Both parents are disabled.
0:10:23 > 0:10:27It was touch and go whether mum would even survive the birth
0:10:27 > 0:10:30but the hospital want to discharge them in the next couple of days.
0:10:30 > 0:10:33Mum's disability is severe.
0:10:33 > 0:10:38She's grown up repeatedly being told she only has two years to live.
0:10:38 > 0:10:42She has a rare muscle wasting disease which may have been
0:10:42 > 0:10:44passed down to baby.
0:10:46 > 0:10:49- Tom's her principal carer, is that right?- Yeah.
0:10:49 > 0:10:53He provides a lot of care. They're both fiercely independent.
0:10:53 > 0:10:57Someone comes in daily to help with the basics, but that's it.
0:10:59 > 0:11:01Any timescale on the sight loss?
0:11:01 > 0:11:04Tom has lost most of his peripheral vision.
0:11:04 > 0:11:07His dad had lost his sight entirely by the time he was Tom's age.
0:11:09 > 0:11:11So we have a partially sighted man
0:11:11 > 0:11:15who is going to attempt to care for both his partner and his child
0:11:15 > 0:11:18with the assumption that both cases will deteriorate
0:11:18 > 0:11:20- as the child grows up.- Yeah.
0:11:22 > 0:11:24These are very challenging circumstances
0:11:24 > 0:11:26in which to place a baby.
0:11:35 > 0:11:37Are you sure this is Dani?
0:11:37 > 0:11:39Ha-ha, very funny!
0:11:39 > 0:11:43You've taken pictures of what looks like an Asian baby.
0:11:43 > 0:11:46That's her. That's Dani.
0:11:48 > 0:11:50Oh, my God, she's gorgeous!
0:11:54 > 0:11:55Have you seen them yet?
0:11:57 > 0:12:01The people with clipboards and social workers looking at us sideways?
0:12:34 > 0:12:36DANI GURGLES
0:12:36 > 0:12:37Ssh.
0:12:46 > 0:12:48SHE MOUTHS
0:12:58 > 0:13:00- Have you held her yet?- No.
0:13:00 > 0:13:02Hang on.
0:13:06 > 0:13:07It helps with bonding.
0:13:07 > 0:13:10- You look ridiculous. - Give me my daughter, Anna.
0:13:20 > 0:13:21Hello!
0:13:35 > 0:13:36Hi.
0:13:41 > 0:13:44So, as you know, the doctors are allowing you home tonight, Anna.
0:13:44 > 0:13:46And Dani?
0:13:46 > 0:13:49Dani is a more complicated issue. That's why I'm here.
0:13:49 > 0:13:52- Is there something wrong?- No. No.
0:13:52 > 0:13:55Is there any sign that she's got my condition?
0:13:55 > 0:13:59- Anna! They won't know that yet.- Then why do they need to keep her in?
0:14:01 > 0:14:05A decision has been made that we should use this as an opportunity
0:14:05 > 0:14:08to assess whether you're able to meet Danielle's needs.
0:14:08 > 0:14:11We're going to undertake what we call a Child In Need assessment.
0:14:11 > 0:14:14- And what does that mean? - Well, in this case it means
0:14:14 > 0:14:18coming to the family room here at the hospital every day,
0:14:18 > 0:14:21spending as much time as you want with Danielle, doing everything
0:14:21 > 0:14:24- you would for her at home... - But with you watching us?
0:14:24 > 0:14:27With you marking us, ready at any moment to take our child away.
0:14:27 > 0:14:30- It's not like that, Tom. - What? Am I lying?
0:14:34 > 0:14:37MUSIC: Not About Angels by Birdy
0:14:37 > 0:14:39# We know full well there's just time
0:14:44 > 0:14:48# So is it wrong to dance this line?
0:14:53 > 0:14:57# If your heart was full of love
0:14:59 > 0:15:05# Could you give it up?
0:15:10 > 0:15:16# Cos what about, what about angels?
0:15:19 > 0:15:22# They will come, they will go... #
0:15:22 > 0:15:25ALARM BEEPS
0:15:31 > 0:15:34# Don't give me up... #
0:15:34 > 0:15:37Two hours.
0:15:37 > 0:15:39We see her again in two hours.
0:15:40 > 0:15:46# Don't give me up
0:15:51 > 0:15:55# How unfair, it's just our luck
0:15:59 > 0:16:03# Found something real that's out of touch
0:16:07 > 0:16:11# But if you'd searched the whole wide world... #
0:16:11 > 0:16:13- You OK?- OK.
0:16:15 > 0:16:19# Would you dare to let it go?
0:16:24 > 0:16:28# It's not about, not about angels
0:16:28 > 0:16:33# Angels. #
0:16:33 > 0:16:34So these are my two colleagues.
0:16:34 > 0:16:37This is Polly. She's an occupational therapist,
0:16:37 > 0:16:40- and Jeremy here is a family centre worker.- Hi.
0:16:40 > 0:16:45Hi, I'm Tom. I'm a dad, and this is Anna. She's a mum.
0:16:45 > 0:16:47Right, well, this is where we'll be.
0:16:50 > 0:16:53Let's see how you get on over the next few days,
0:16:53 > 0:16:57then we'll work out what's the next best step. OK?
0:16:59 > 0:17:01Don't be afraid to ask me anything.
0:17:01 > 0:17:03Don't be afraid to ask me to do anything.
0:17:06 > 0:17:08Thanks, Jeremy.
0:17:08 > 0:17:09DANI CRIES
0:17:09 > 0:17:11Coming, Dani.
0:17:15 > 0:17:17Don't cry. It's all right.
0:17:25 > 0:17:27She likes it.
0:17:29 > 0:17:32- Oh!- Hiya! Hiya!
0:17:32 > 0:17:35Who's this, then? Hello!
0:17:37 > 0:17:39Hiya!
0:17:39 > 0:17:41Look at her looking at you.
0:17:41 > 0:17:43- Oh!- She looks like you.
0:17:47 > 0:17:49Hey!
0:17:49 > 0:17:50DANI SNEEZES
0:17:50 > 0:17:52Oh, bless you!
0:17:54 > 0:17:57Oh, there's a big yawn.
0:17:57 > 0:17:59- AUTOMATED VOICE: - 'Put in eight grams.'
0:18:04 > 0:18:07'I hope you find this out for yourself one day,
0:18:07 > 0:18:10'but nothing prepares you for being a parent.
0:18:12 > 0:18:14'Life suddenly seems to make sense.
0:18:28 > 0:18:32'But at the same time, you worry you'll make mistakes.
0:18:33 > 0:18:37'I just hope we didn't make too many with you.
0:18:37 > 0:18:40'As long as you try your best, that's all you can do.
0:18:43 > 0:18:46'Truth is, no-one's perfect, are they?'
0:19:05 > 0:19:07- Hey, Mum.- 'Hiya.'
0:19:07 > 0:19:10- I got Dani to sleep.- 'Really?'- Yeah.
0:19:10 > 0:19:11Yeah, listen.
0:19:11 > 0:19:13DANI SNORES
0:19:15 > 0:19:19- 'How old is she now?' - 11 days but she's changed so much.
0:19:21 > 0:19:22So when are you coming up?
0:19:34 > 0:19:35Boo!
0:19:37 > 0:19:40This is my colleague, Mike.
0:19:40 > 0:19:46- Hello there.- Do you mind if I call you Social Worker 454?
0:19:46 > 0:19:47Call me what you like.
0:19:47 > 0:19:51He's here today to run through some emergency scenarios with you both.
0:19:51 > 0:19:55What happens if Dani burns herself or hurts herself
0:19:55 > 0:19:56or suddenly falls ill?
0:19:56 > 0:19:59Sort of like The Krypton Factor but slightly less assault-coursey.
0:19:59 > 0:20:03- Is that a joke?- Yeah, it's a pretty bad one, that, too.
0:20:03 > 0:20:05The truth is, you're here to see
0:20:05 > 0:20:07whether I'm going to kill our baby, right?
0:20:08 > 0:20:10Um...
0:20:10 > 0:20:13And we've got some DVDs we need you to watch.
0:20:13 > 0:20:17'Bring it up to the boil and when large bubbles are breaking on the surface, gently lower the eggs...'
0:20:17 > 0:20:19Is this a how-to-cook DVD?
0:20:19 > 0:20:22Your mother said she'd given you some frozen meals.
0:20:22 > 0:20:24She's been giving me frozen meals because looking after Anna
0:20:24 > 0:20:27and coming here every day, sometimes it's a bit of a challenge.
0:20:27 > 0:20:30I'm not Gordon Ramsay but I know how to boil a fucking egg.
0:20:30 > 0:20:34- Tom, please don't swear in front of Dani.- They're going to examine us on how to boil an egg.
0:20:34 > 0:20:36Look, I know. I just want Dani home.
0:20:36 > 0:20:41For fuck's sake. Look, I may be going blind but I'm not incapable...
0:20:42 > 0:20:44..and I'm not stupid, and...
0:20:46 > 0:20:47..I know how to cook.
0:20:50 > 0:20:53The hospital are pushing for a decision about the room.
0:20:53 > 0:20:55What are you thinking?
0:20:55 > 0:20:57- Speaking frankly?- Please!
0:20:58 > 0:21:01Dad is a pain in the arse.
0:21:01 > 0:21:04He won't accept that they might not cope on their own.
0:21:04 > 0:21:08We've suggested more help, some support groups, all voluntary,
0:21:08 > 0:21:10but he doesn't like that idea.
0:21:10 > 0:21:13In fact, he doesn't like any of the ideas we suggested.
0:21:13 > 0:21:16A social services agnostic?
0:21:16 > 0:21:18They definitely love their baby
0:21:18 > 0:21:21but his hostility is not helping their case.
0:21:21 > 0:21:24I just hope it doesn't become more of a concern.
0:21:26 > 0:21:29So, do we let baby go home or not?
0:21:29 > 0:21:32- It's a tough one.- It is.
0:21:34 > 0:21:37SAWING
0:21:42 > 0:21:45Ah, you're making something!
0:21:45 > 0:21:49I'm adapting something. This is a computer changing table.
0:21:49 > 0:21:53- What?- For when Dani comes home, so you can change her,
0:21:53 > 0:21:57so you can get your chair underneath, and this is just the start
0:21:57 > 0:22:01because I have zese plans, I have zese great plans, and with zem
0:22:01 > 0:22:03we'll take over ze vorld!
0:22:05 > 0:22:07I just wanted to do something good.
0:22:10 > 0:22:15I'm sorry. For losing my temper in there, in front of them.
0:22:15 > 0:22:17What if she doesn't come home?
0:22:22 > 0:22:25Then I'll change it back into a computer table.
0:22:25 > 0:22:28I mean, I've probably already broken it, but I can try.
0:22:30 > 0:22:33DANI CRIES
0:22:34 > 0:22:36Is she enjoying it?
0:22:36 > 0:22:37Uh...
0:22:37 > 0:22:39TOM LAUGHS
0:22:39 > 0:22:40Seems like it.
0:22:41 > 0:22:44- You like that!- Yeah.- Good.
0:22:48 > 0:22:51- She had enough, yeah?- Yeah.- OK.
0:22:53 > 0:22:55- Careful, she's slippy.- Yep.
0:22:55 > 0:22:57Ssh! Ssh!
0:22:57 > 0:23:01Ssh! Hey!
0:23:01 > 0:23:02Hey!
0:23:08 > 0:23:10Hey...
0:23:13 > 0:23:15- Shit!- Tom!
0:23:15 > 0:23:16Tom!
0:23:16 > 0:23:19The floor's wet! Why did neither of you tell me the floor was wet?
0:23:19 > 0:23:21Is this one of your tests, is it?
0:23:21 > 0:23:24Did you fucking put oil down like Wile E Coyote, trying to make me...
0:23:24 > 0:23:27- Tom!- Just calm down.- Tom, is she OK?
0:23:27 > 0:23:29Is she OK, is she?
0:23:29 > 0:23:32Yeah, she's fine. She's fine.
0:23:32 > 0:23:34Just calm down, OK?
0:23:35 > 0:23:37This isn't... This isn't my bathroom
0:23:37 > 0:23:40and I know where things are in my bathroom
0:23:40 > 0:23:43- and I've got a mat to stop me slipping...- It's OK, Tom.
0:23:43 > 0:23:47- It's not my bathroom, so it's not... - It's OK.- It's not a fair reflection.
0:23:50 > 0:23:52Hey...
0:24:08 > 0:24:10SHE SIGHS
0:24:15 > 0:24:20PHONE RINGS
0:24:23 > 0:24:24Hi.
0:24:26 > 0:24:29When there are no waves, the incoming tide can create...
0:24:29 > 0:24:32PHONE RINGS
0:24:32 > 0:24:36Hello? Yeah.
0:24:36 > 0:24:37Yeah.
0:24:40 > 0:24:41OK...
0:24:44 > 0:24:46Who is it?
0:24:46 > 0:24:48Thank you, thank you.
0:24:51 > 0:24:53They say we can bring her home.
0:24:53 > 0:24:57Well, they're moving the assessment from the hospital to here,
0:24:57 > 0:24:59so it's not over, but...
0:24:59 > 0:25:02Let's hold on to the small victories. Dani's coming home!
0:25:07 > 0:25:08There she is!
0:25:12 > 0:25:14- Do you want me to...? - No, I've got it.
0:25:14 > 0:25:16Hello, Dani.
0:25:25 > 0:25:28- Left a bit!- Thank you.
0:25:30 > 0:25:32Are you ready to take our child?
0:25:37 > 0:25:38Hi, Dani.
0:25:40 > 0:25:41Come on!
0:25:47 > 0:25:49Come on!
0:26:01 > 0:26:04INDISTINCT
0:26:05 > 0:26:06Sweetheart.
0:26:08 > 0:26:10Hey, baby.
0:26:13 > 0:26:15I just want to remind you
0:26:15 > 0:26:18that the supervision doesn't stop because she's home.
0:26:20 > 0:26:24We will be visiting to make sure you're coping OK.
0:26:24 > 0:26:26Will we get any advanced warning?
0:26:26 > 0:26:27No.
0:26:29 > 0:26:31So you could come at any time?
0:26:31 > 0:26:35Until the assessment is complete, that will be necessary, yeah.
0:26:41 > 0:26:43Can we be alone with our baby, please?
0:26:45 > 0:26:46Course.
0:26:56 > 0:26:59And this is your room.
0:26:59 > 0:27:00What are you saying to her?
0:27:00 > 0:27:02That you chose the colours
0:27:02 > 0:27:05and that she's probably going to have to choose her own clothes
0:27:05 > 0:27:06from quite a young age!
0:27:12 > 0:27:15'I grew up living each day at a time.
0:27:15 > 0:27:17'I didn't let myself think about the future.'
0:27:20 > 0:27:22'Now it's all I can think about.
0:27:22 > 0:27:26'Whatever you decide to be, Dani, be you.'
0:27:27 > 0:27:29'It's your life.'
0:27:31 > 0:27:32'Live by your own rules.'
0:27:36 > 0:27:39DANI CRIES
0:27:41 > 0:27:43I'll get it.
0:27:43 > 0:27:44I know you will.
0:27:46 > 0:27:47How can I help you?
0:27:51 > 0:27:53Shall I just bring her to you?
0:27:53 > 0:27:55I'm going to bring her to you.
0:27:58 > 0:28:00- Hi, you all right? - Yeah, you all right?
0:28:04 > 0:28:07DANI CRIES
0:28:21 > 0:28:24DANI CRIES
0:28:24 > 0:28:26I'll get it...
0:28:26 > 0:28:28- Her.- Sorry.
0:28:30 > 0:28:33DOOR BUZZES
0:28:33 > 0:28:36TIRED: Oh, shit, it's her.
0:28:36 > 0:28:38- Are any of the lights on?- No.
0:28:38 > 0:28:40DOOR BUZZES AGAIN
0:28:40 > 0:28:42Where do you think we are?
0:28:42 > 0:28:44- The zoo.- I love the zoo.
0:28:44 > 0:28:47DOOR BUZZES AGAIN
0:28:47 > 0:28:50- DANI GURGLES LOUDLY - Hey...
0:28:50 > 0:28:52ANNA SHUSHES HER
0:28:59 > 0:29:01DANI CRIES
0:29:01 > 0:29:03TOM GROANS
0:29:05 > 0:29:09Just let us get some sleep, hey, Dani. Just an hour.
0:29:12 > 0:29:14- Hey.- Hey.
0:29:36 > 0:29:39DANI GURGLES AND CRIES
0:29:43 > 0:29:45DOOR BUZZES
0:30:01 > 0:30:03- TOM'S MUM:- 'Oh, she's a lovely girl.
0:30:03 > 0:30:05'Yeah, she loves Tom.
0:30:05 > 0:30:07'It's just...'
0:30:09 > 0:30:11We did always have a question of...
0:30:13 > 0:30:16Well, it's a very serious condition.
0:30:16 > 0:30:19- Very.- And it's brilliant that Tom has taken on some of the care
0:30:19 > 0:30:22but the truth is... Well...
0:30:22 > 0:30:25I do believe in people trying to achieve their potential.
0:30:25 > 0:30:26It's important, yes.
0:30:31 > 0:30:33- Where are you going?- To the kitchen.
0:30:33 > 0:30:35- What if she slips?- She's fine.
0:30:35 > 0:30:39- What if she slips while you're out of the room?- I'm here.
0:30:39 > 0:30:42- TOM'S DAD:- 'When you're like me, like Tom,'
0:30:42 > 0:30:43you make a choice
0:30:43 > 0:30:46whether you're going to be defined by your condition.
0:30:48 > 0:30:51- Anna...- Well, she doesn't have such a choice.
0:30:54 > 0:30:57I've been knitting, you know, for the baby.
0:30:57 > 0:30:58Knitting a lot.
0:31:01 > 0:31:02But I do worry...
0:31:03 > 0:31:05..what the baby could inherit.
0:31:06 > 0:31:09The...challenges she will have to face.
0:31:12 > 0:31:16I mean...she could have inherited both conditions.
0:31:18 > 0:31:19Both.
0:31:22 > 0:31:26DANI BREATHES SOFTLY
0:31:33 > 0:31:35DANI GURGLES
0:31:37 > 0:31:39She's been sick again, Tom.
0:31:41 > 0:31:43Hey. Will you fetch a cloth?
0:31:48 > 0:31:50HE GROANS SLEEPILY
0:31:50 > 0:31:51Thank you.
0:31:53 > 0:31:57Oh, my God, Tom! Are you all right?
0:31:57 > 0:32:00Fucking hell! Am I bleeding?
0:32:00 > 0:32:02Come here, let me have a look.
0:32:02 > 0:32:04DOOR BUZZES
0:32:04 > 0:32:06Tom?
0:32:07 > 0:32:09DOOR BUZZES AGAIN
0:32:14 > 0:32:16Are you sure you're OK?
0:32:16 > 0:32:20Ah, where are we this time? Cinema? Park?
0:32:20 > 0:32:22Maybe a tall bridge to jump off?
0:32:22 > 0:32:25PHONE RINGS
0:32:26 > 0:32:27Shit.
0:32:29 > 0:32:30It's here.
0:32:32 > 0:32:35HE TURNS THE RINGER DOWN
0:32:36 > 0:32:39DOOR BUZZES AGAIN
0:32:40 > 0:32:42DOOR CONTINUES BUZZING
0:32:50 > 0:32:52Have you been ringing a while?
0:32:52 > 0:32:55- Sorry, I was in the shower. - Is that right?
0:33:01 > 0:33:03DOOR OPENS
0:33:03 > 0:33:04Are you all right?
0:33:04 > 0:33:06Yeah, I just... I just hurt myself.
0:33:06 > 0:33:08In the shower.
0:33:13 > 0:33:14Hey.
0:33:32 > 0:33:35- Hello, Thomas.- Hello, Laura.
0:33:35 > 0:33:37You look lovely.
0:33:37 > 0:33:38You look tired.
0:33:38 > 0:33:40Yeah, well, it's been tough.
0:33:40 > 0:33:42I'm sure it has been.
0:33:55 > 0:33:56I've missed you, Mum.
0:33:59 > 0:34:01I've missed you, too.
0:34:10 > 0:34:11And this is one we made earlier!
0:34:17 > 0:34:20Hello.
0:34:21 > 0:34:22Hello!
0:34:24 > 0:34:25Oh...
0:34:26 > 0:34:28I know.
0:34:28 > 0:34:30I know, darling.
0:34:30 > 0:34:33HOOVERING
0:34:56 > 0:34:58So what's this rice dish, Alice?
0:34:58 > 0:35:01Oh, it's a mushroom risotto.
0:35:01 > 0:35:04Oh! It's very tasty.
0:35:04 > 0:35:06So you're vegetarians?
0:35:06 > 0:35:11No, sometimes we find we like vegetarian food.
0:35:11 > 0:35:13It's very nice of you to cook for us, Mum.
0:35:15 > 0:35:17She smells gorgeous.
0:35:17 > 0:35:19And the food is too, of course.
0:35:29 > 0:35:31- Shall we wet the baby's head?- Mum.
0:35:31 > 0:35:32We should wet the baby's head!
0:35:32 > 0:35:36It's sparkling wine, we'll just have to pretend it's champagne.
0:35:37 > 0:35:39CORK POPS/ THEY CHUCKLE
0:35:42 > 0:35:43What?!
0:35:43 > 0:35:47We're all here to celebrate and we're all here to help.
0:35:47 > 0:35:50- We're all in this together.- Yes!
0:35:50 > 0:35:51What does that mean?
0:35:52 > 0:35:56Well, it just means that we're all going through this together.
0:35:56 > 0:35:57What, really?!
0:35:57 > 0:36:00I had no idea, thank you(!)
0:36:00 > 0:36:02Thank you.
0:36:02 > 0:36:05Thank you for being in the trenches with us.
0:36:05 > 0:36:07You know, I feel quite overwhelmed
0:36:07 > 0:36:10at the support you've all shown us, actually.
0:36:10 > 0:36:12- Tom!- It took you weeks to visit your grandkid.
0:36:14 > 0:36:15Well, that's not because...
0:36:15 > 0:36:17You should have been there at the birth, for Anna.
0:36:17 > 0:36:20- Yeah, I know but that's... - You should have been there, Laura.
0:36:20 > 0:36:22There's no excuses.
0:36:23 > 0:36:27I didn't come to the birth because I didn't think she'd survive it.
0:36:27 > 0:36:28And because...
0:36:30 > 0:36:32..I wasn't sure that I wanted to meet the baby
0:36:32 > 0:36:35that they said would kill my daughter.
0:36:42 > 0:36:44Now, who wants a drink?
0:36:47 > 0:36:49'My husband left when...'
0:36:49 > 0:36:52Well, he left about six months after we got the diagnosis.
0:36:54 > 0:36:57There are times when I've wished I'd gone with him.
0:36:57 > 0:36:59But I didn't.
0:36:59 > 0:37:02I didn't find out until she was two she was ill, you know.
0:37:02 > 0:37:06And I was told then that she'd live till she was four.
0:37:06 > 0:37:08And then when she got past four, I was told maybe six.
0:37:08 > 0:37:10And then when she got past six, maybe eight.
0:37:10 > 0:37:13And, you know, just on and on like that.
0:37:15 > 0:37:18- Are you a mother? - BELINDA:- Yeah. Yeah, I am.
0:37:18 > 0:37:19A good one?
0:37:19 > 0:37:20I hope so.
0:37:20 > 0:37:23Difficult though, isn't it?
0:37:23 > 0:37:25I mean, it's difficult to judge
0:37:25 > 0:37:28what being a good parent actually means, don't you think?
0:37:28 > 0:37:31Do you know what I felt when I found out that she was pregnant?
0:37:31 > 0:37:32Furious.
0:37:32 > 0:37:33Because how dare she?
0:37:33 > 0:37:35You know, after I'd gone through all of that,
0:37:35 > 0:37:37how dare she be so reckless with herself?
0:37:37 > 0:37:39How dare she do that to me?
0:37:42 > 0:37:44That's what makes me a bad mum.
0:37:46 > 0:37:48Because I made it all about me...
0:37:50 > 0:37:52..when it should've been about her.
0:38:00 > 0:38:01I don't want you to go!
0:38:03 > 0:38:04You'll be fine.
0:38:07 > 0:38:08Mum...
0:38:11 > 0:38:13I've got to get back, love.
0:38:13 > 0:38:15I'm sorry.
0:38:21 > 0:38:23You'll be fine!
0:38:25 > 0:38:27'My daughter will be a better mum
0:38:27 > 0:38:30'if you just give her a chance.'
0:38:33 > 0:38:35DOOR CLOSES
0:38:38 > 0:38:41WIND CHIMES TINKLE
0:38:55 > 0:38:57'I've been lucky to have your dad.
0:38:57 > 0:38:59'Next to you, meeting him
0:38:59 > 0:39:02'was the best thing that ever happened to me.'
0:39:05 > 0:39:08'But there's a lot you need to know about him.
0:39:08 > 0:39:11'For starters, he's got a lot of pride.
0:39:11 > 0:39:14'And because he doesn't see too well,
0:39:14 > 0:39:17'he sometimes acts like there's a dragon to fight
0:39:17 > 0:39:20'and he puts his armour on far too far in advance.
0:39:20 > 0:39:24'But he does it because he loves us both so much.'
0:39:30 > 0:39:32TV PLAYS
0:39:32 > 0:39:33She's down.
0:39:37 > 0:39:38It took three stories
0:39:38 > 0:39:42and a song I made up on the spot about a carrot,
0:39:42 > 0:39:44but she's down.
0:39:46 > 0:39:47Do you want to hear it?
0:39:47 > 0:39:49It's actually quite... It's quite elaborate.
0:39:49 > 0:39:53Well, it's basically a version of ABBA'S Fernando.
0:39:55 > 0:39:58# Can you hear my stalk, Danielle?
0:39:59 > 0:40:01# Can you hear my stalk?
0:40:01 > 0:40:04# It's singing to you, Danielle. #
0:40:12 > 0:40:15It would be nice if every once in a while
0:40:15 > 0:40:16you had a little tidy up.
0:40:21 > 0:40:23Right, I'm getting a beer.
0:40:23 > 0:40:27- I thought you didn't approve of alcohol.- What?
0:40:27 > 0:40:30You told my mother you didn't approve of HER drinking alcohol.
0:40:30 > 0:40:31I didn't.
0:40:31 > 0:40:35But I've had a long day and I need a beer.
0:40:37 > 0:40:40Interesting, though - one rule for her, one rule for you.
0:40:40 > 0:40:42- I'm not the reason your mum left. - Weren't you?
0:40:42 > 0:40:45Honestly, this "I miss my mummy" act, it's getting kind of dull.
0:40:45 > 0:40:47Well, maybe this place such a mess
0:40:47 > 0:40:49- because she's not here to help us tidy up.- Maybe.
0:40:49 > 0:40:52Or maybe it's because I'm the only one that does anything around here.
0:40:52 > 0:40:56- Tom!- When was the last time you used that changing table, eh?
0:40:56 > 0:40:59When was the last time you did anything but just hold her?
0:40:59 > 0:41:01- I'm in a chair! - And I can't fucking see!
0:41:01 > 0:41:04DANI STARTS TO CRY
0:41:09 > 0:41:11I need a bath, Tom.
0:41:13 > 0:41:15I smell. I need a bath.
0:41:15 > 0:41:19- Now?- Yes, now. I need a bath.
0:41:19 > 0:41:21I'm tired, OK?
0:41:21 > 0:41:23We'll do it later.
0:41:23 > 0:41:24It's just...
0:41:25 > 0:41:30- ..you take my carer's allowance, so technically I employ you.- What?
0:41:32 > 0:41:33Fuck your allowance!
0:41:33 > 0:41:36Fine, I'll manage myself!
0:41:36 > 0:41:38- Uh! - DANI SCREAMS
0:41:38 > 0:41:39Now I've got to pick you up, yeah?
0:41:39 > 0:41:41Your fucking temper tantrum means I get to pick you up
0:41:41 > 0:41:44and you're fucking heavy so that's... It's going to be easy, isn't it?
0:41:46 > 0:41:48SHE CRIES
0:41:48 > 0:41:52Anna, I've already got one fucking baby to look after.
0:41:52 > 0:41:53Anna.
0:41:55 > 0:41:58Fine, go on, let's see how far you get. Go on.
0:42:02 > 0:42:05DANI CONTINUES CRYING
0:42:08 > 0:42:11ANNA CRIES
0:42:18 > 0:42:20Why was it your decision?!
0:42:20 > 0:42:23That's what I can't understand.
0:42:23 > 0:42:24Why was it your decision?
0:42:24 > 0:42:27Because it's my body, Tom!
0:42:27 > 0:42:30SOBBING: Yes, but you're going to die.
0:42:30 > 0:42:32And I can't do this without you!
0:42:35 > 0:42:37So why was it ever your fucking decision?
0:42:41 > 0:42:42You know what she is?
0:42:43 > 0:42:45She is the future
0:42:45 > 0:42:48and I don't know if I can look after her
0:42:48 > 0:42:49and it terrifies me.
0:42:51 > 0:42:54The future is so much more easier for you than it is for me.
0:42:54 > 0:42:57I'm sorry, but that is true. That is so true.
0:43:01 > 0:43:03DOOR SLAMS
0:43:03 > 0:43:05DANI CONTINUES CRYING
0:43:19 > 0:43:21- BELINDA:- Hey, I'm on my way home.
0:43:21 > 0:43:24I was thinking I might get a bottle of wine maybe.
0:43:24 > 0:43:26Yeah?
0:43:27 > 0:43:30Yeah, great. OK. Love you.
0:43:32 > 0:43:34- Tom?- I didn't know where to go.
0:43:36 > 0:43:37I wanted to abort her.
0:43:40 > 0:43:43Do you know how much I regret wanting to abort her? But I did.
0:43:43 > 0:43:46- Because I didn't want to lose... - Let's get you a cab.
0:43:48 > 0:43:51How am I supposed to let myself love her
0:43:51 > 0:43:55if every day I think that you might come and take her away forever?
0:43:57 > 0:44:00I've already got one of them on a temporary fucking buy-back basis
0:44:00 > 0:44:01and I can't...
0:44:01 > 0:44:03I can't cope with two.
0:44:04 > 0:44:05I'm sorry.
0:44:05 > 0:44:07It's OK.
0:44:08 > 0:44:11- I'm sorry for being inappropriate. - No, don't.
0:44:11 > 0:44:13Let me... Let me drive you home at least.
0:44:15 > 0:44:16I don't want your help.
0:44:19 > 0:44:20I just want my baby.
0:44:22 > 0:44:24I just want to be a dad.
0:44:26 > 0:44:27I just don't want this.
0:44:39 > 0:44:42DOOR OPENS
0:44:42 > 0:44:44TV PLAYS IN BACKGROUND
0:45:23 > 0:45:26LAUGHTER ON TV
0:46:02 > 0:46:03Morning.
0:46:05 > 0:46:06Morning.
0:46:08 > 0:46:11- How's Dani?- She's fine.
0:46:11 > 0:46:14I've changed her and I've fed her.
0:46:14 > 0:46:15Thank you.
0:46:15 > 0:46:17Pleasure.
0:46:17 > 0:46:20Next question, how did I end up here?
0:46:22 > 0:46:24It turns out you sleepwalk!
0:46:24 > 0:46:26That's exciting.
0:46:28 > 0:46:32- I don't know what to say. - Why didn't you sleep in here?
0:46:32 > 0:46:34It didn't feel right without your permission
0:46:34 > 0:46:36and I didn't want to wake you up.
0:46:38 > 0:46:39Sit down.
0:46:49 > 0:46:52I've never had to look after anything before.
0:46:52 > 0:46:55I see her drowning in the bath and I can't get to her.
0:46:55 > 0:46:58And I see her falling off the changing table
0:46:58 > 0:47:01and smashing her head open on the floor
0:47:01 > 0:47:03and me with these fucking shit arms and shit legs?
0:47:03 > 0:47:06Why have you never said any of this before?
0:47:06 > 0:47:09If we're both scared we're not up to this...
0:47:10 > 0:47:13..can't we just be scared together?
0:47:13 > 0:47:15- Mutual fear?- Exactly!
0:47:19 > 0:47:20Come here.
0:47:49 > 0:47:50'As I've watched you grow, Dani,
0:47:50 > 0:47:53'I've pictured the girl you'll be in five years.
0:47:53 > 0:47:55'And the woman you'll be in 20.
0:47:56 > 0:47:58'Whatever happens,
0:47:58 > 0:48:00'know that your dad loves you more than anything.
0:48:00 > 0:48:02'And if he can, he'll always try
0:48:02 > 0:48:04'to guide you in the right direction.'
0:48:04 > 0:48:06- Oh!- My leg?
0:48:06 > 0:48:09I don't know but something just went where it shouldn't!
0:48:14 > 0:48:17'No-one has ever given me what you've given me.
0:48:17 > 0:48:18'So thank you...
0:48:20 > 0:48:21'..you're my miracle.
0:48:29 > 0:48:30'And I'm sorry if being our daughter
0:48:30 > 0:48:32'has given you challenges in life.'
0:48:35 > 0:48:37There are times when I feel so stuck in this chair.
0:48:40 > 0:48:42And I hope you never feel stuck with us,
0:48:42 > 0:48:44because we'd never want that.
0:48:46 > 0:48:50If you need to run or you need to fly,
0:48:50 > 0:48:52go fly. You know?
0:48:52 > 0:48:54Anna, your bath's ready. We need to get a move on.
0:48:57 > 0:48:58So that's it for now.
0:49:01 > 0:49:05And just know, always know,
0:49:05 > 0:49:06that we love you.
0:49:11 > 0:49:12OK.
0:49:26 > 0:49:29Come here. It'll be fine.
0:49:32 > 0:49:33It will, won't it?
0:49:36 > 0:49:38- Tom, if we lose her...- We won't.
0:49:38 > 0:49:41- DANI GURGLES - Shh-shh-shh-shhh.
0:49:42 > 0:49:44She's here.
0:49:45 > 0:49:47Does she look happy or sad?
0:49:47 > 0:49:49She doesn't look either.
0:49:52 > 0:49:53We're ready for you.
0:50:03 > 0:50:06Maybe you think I was selfish to have a baby,
0:50:06 > 0:50:09a baby that may have inherited my disability,
0:50:09 > 0:50:12knowing that I may well die before she grows up.
0:50:13 > 0:50:16But we've got more love for Dani right now
0:50:16 > 0:50:19that loads of people give their kids in a whole lifetime.
0:50:22 > 0:50:24And it's how much you love your child that counts.
0:50:26 > 0:50:29Isn't that what sets them up for life?
0:50:29 > 0:50:32I did doubt having a child, I did.
0:50:32 > 0:50:34But then I held her and...
0:50:36 > 0:50:40As soon as I did that, nothing else mattered but her.
0:50:40 > 0:50:43I know I need to ask for more help than I get.
0:50:43 > 0:50:48And I'm blind, pun intended, to my own failings most of the time.
0:50:48 > 0:50:49And I'm...
0:50:49 > 0:50:55Well, I've spoken to Mike, here, about setting up more concerted help.
0:50:55 > 0:50:58But other dads with faults get to have a go, don't they?
0:50:59 > 0:51:03Don't you think Tom could have found an easier girlfriend than me?
0:51:03 > 0:51:05Well, maybe not easier...
0:51:05 > 0:51:07We had sex on the second date!
0:51:07 > 0:51:10But certainly he could have made it easier for himself.
0:51:12 > 0:51:15He chose the girl he has to help shit every now and again.
0:51:17 > 0:51:23My parents are judgmental and...difficult.
0:51:23 > 0:51:25Her mother is...
0:51:27 > 0:51:32..overemotional, a bit weak and drinks too much.
0:51:33 > 0:51:35Is that good parenting?
0:51:37 > 0:51:39Who tested them?
0:51:39 > 0:51:41You've watched us for months now
0:51:41 > 0:51:44and yeah, we've had our ups and downs, but Dani's fine.
0:51:44 > 0:51:47Better than fine. She's thriving!
0:51:47 > 0:51:50We're not drug addicts who've neglected our baby.
0:51:50 > 0:51:53We know how to look after our daughter.
0:51:53 > 0:51:56Just because we don't know what will happen tomorrow,
0:51:56 > 0:51:59that doesn't mean that we shouldn't be able to live life to the full.
0:52:01 > 0:52:04That doesn't mean that we shouldn't get to love.
0:52:07 > 0:52:11- BELINDA:- Thanks, Tom. I think that's all we need.
0:52:17 > 0:52:20'We can only see what's in front of us.
0:52:20 > 0:52:22'We're not fortune tellers.'
0:52:22 > 0:52:26'They've had Dani for four months now without incident.
0:52:26 > 0:52:28'Haven't they earned our trust?'
0:52:28 > 0:52:32'We have to ask ourselves what is best for Danielle.'
0:52:32 > 0:52:35'I have to say I'm not convinced.'
0:52:35 > 0:52:40'Now he's accepted help, we can offer them an allowance'
0:52:40 > 0:52:43so that they can arrange the child care that they need themselves.
0:52:43 > 0:52:46'OK, let's retain some perspective.'
0:52:46 > 0:52:48Do we honestly believe this little girl
0:52:48 > 0:52:52would be better in a home that requires this much help?
0:52:52 > 0:52:54Whatever the claim may be,
0:52:54 > 0:52:57she will have to take some care responsibility.
0:52:57 > 0:52:59That's not necessarily the case.
0:52:59 > 0:53:02I had to separate a mother and daughter a couple of years ago.
0:53:02 > 0:53:04The mother was profoundly disabled
0:53:04 > 0:53:08and the daughter was living in absolute squalor.
0:53:08 > 0:53:10Yeah, but when structures are in place...
0:53:10 > 0:53:14This is a couple who failed to answer the door when visits were made.
0:53:16 > 0:53:18I don't trust it.
0:53:18 > 0:53:20On Dani's behalf, I don't trust it.
0:53:53 > 0:53:55Hi.
0:53:55 > 0:53:56Hi.
0:53:56 > 0:53:57Can I come in?
0:53:59 > 0:54:00Yeah...
0:54:07 > 0:54:11OK, so, I won't keep you in suspense.
0:54:11 > 0:54:14The decision's been made to downgrade Dani.
0:54:14 > 0:54:15I knew it!
0:54:15 > 0:54:18- Well, we're going to sue you, take you to court.- Tom!
0:54:18 > 0:54:21- We're going to sue the authorities... - Tom!- What?
0:54:21 > 0:54:23I'm not sure downgrading is a bad thing.
0:54:23 > 0:54:25No, it's not.
0:54:25 > 0:54:27In fact, it's a good thing.
0:54:27 > 0:54:29It's a very good thing.
0:54:29 > 0:54:31What, so...so we can keep her?
0:54:31 > 0:54:33Well, we will be checking in with you
0:54:33 > 0:54:35to make sure everything is going well.
0:54:41 > 0:54:44Just to be clear, this won't be the last time that you see me.
0:54:50 > 0:54:54Oh, but I want to see you, Belinda. I do! I want to see you.
0:54:55 > 0:54:57This hasn't been an easy decision.
0:54:58 > 0:55:02But we believe that you're going to be good parents.
0:55:05 > 0:55:06She's ours!
0:55:08 > 0:55:10You're ours, Dani!
0:55:18 > 0:55:22MUSIC: Hold Back The River by James Bay