Ethel & Ernest

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0:00:31 > 0:00:35There was nothing extraordinary about my mum and dad,

0:00:35 > 0:00:37nothing dramatic.

0:00:38 > 0:00:40No divorce or anything,

0:00:40 > 0:00:42but they were my parents

0:00:42 > 0:00:46and I wanted to remember them by doing a picture book.

0:00:50 > 0:00:54It's a bit odd, really, having a book about my parents up there

0:00:54 > 0:00:58in the bestseller list among all the football heroes and cook books.

0:01:00 > 0:01:02They'd be proud of that, I suppose.

0:01:02 > 0:01:05But probably rather embarrassed too.

0:01:07 > 0:01:09I imagine they would say, "It wasn't like that."

0:01:11 > 0:01:14Or, "How can you talk about that?"

0:01:15 > 0:01:18Well, I have.

0:01:18 > 0:01:20And this is their story.

0:01:26 > 0:01:29ENGINE WHIRS

0:01:39 > 0:01:41BELL DINGS

0:01:43 > 0:01:45HORSE'S HOOVES CLOPPING

0:02:04 > 0:02:07- Bye, Mum!- Bye, dear.

0:02:07 > 0:02:10- Ta-ta, Ern, mate.- Ta-ta.

0:02:12 > 0:02:14Ta-ta.

0:02:19 > 0:02:21Hurry up with that dusting, Ethel.

0:02:21 > 0:02:24There's the fire to stoke and the beds to make.

0:02:24 > 0:02:26Yes, madam. I won't be long.

0:02:37 > 0:02:40BELL DINGS

0:02:42 > 0:02:43SHE GASPS

0:02:43 > 0:02:45HE CHUCKLES

0:02:45 > 0:02:49Ethel! Aren't you finished yet?

0:02:49 > 0:02:50Yes, madam.

0:02:51 > 0:02:53Sorry, madam.

0:03:06 > 0:03:08Hey, hey! SHE GASPS

0:03:13 > 0:03:15RAIN FALLS HEAVILY

0:03:15 > 0:03:18Ethel! Where are you?

0:03:18 > 0:03:19Coming, madam.

0:03:19 > 0:03:21THUNDERCLAP

0:03:27 > 0:03:28Hm...

0:03:33 > 0:03:35BIRDSONG

0:03:35 > 0:03:36Ethel!

0:03:36 > 0:03:38Ethel!

0:03:38 > 0:03:40- Ethel?!- Oh.

0:03:44 > 0:03:47BELL RINGS

0:03:47 > 0:03:50Yes, yes, I'm coming!

0:03:50 > 0:03:52D'oh!

0:03:54 > 0:03:56Hello, duck.

0:03:56 > 0:03:57Oh! Oh, it's you.

0:03:57 > 0:03:59Thought I'd introduce myself.

0:03:59 > 0:04:02You've waved that blooming duster at me enough times.

0:04:02 > 0:04:05Oh, no, I didn't mean to. It was just that...

0:04:05 > 0:04:06Name's Ernest.

0:04:06 > 0:04:10- Oh! I'm Ethel.- That's a nice name.

0:04:10 > 0:04:13Well, Ethel, how about coming to the pictures with me?

0:04:13 > 0:04:15Oh, well, I...

0:04:15 > 0:04:17They've got lots for me to do.

0:04:17 > 0:04:20- What time you knock off? - I finish about seven.

0:04:20 > 0:04:23Perfect! They're showing Hangman's House at the local.

0:04:23 > 0:04:25- You mean, the Coronation?- Yes.

0:04:25 > 0:04:28- Starts at eight. I could meet you there.- Thank you. That...

0:04:28 > 0:04:31- That would be very nice.- Grand.

0:04:31 > 0:04:33And these, they're for you.

0:04:33 > 0:04:35SHE GASPS

0:04:35 > 0:04:37They're...lovely.

0:04:37 > 0:04:40- See you about a quarter to, then. - Yes.

0:04:40 > 0:04:42Yes, I'll be there!

0:04:43 > 0:04:45BIKE BELL DINGS

0:04:45 > 0:04:47Oh!

0:04:48 > 0:04:50Ernest...

0:04:52 > 0:04:54RAIN FALLS HEAVILY

0:04:57 > 0:04:59Two, please.

0:05:02 > 0:05:07ORGAN PLAYS JOLLY TUNE

0:05:16 > 0:05:19- (Victor McLaglen.)- Who's he?

0:05:19 > 0:05:21- Him up there.- Oh.

0:05:22 > 0:05:24My favourite.

0:05:24 > 0:05:25Oh...

0:05:27 > 0:05:30JAZZY TUNE PLAYS

0:05:36 > 0:05:39CHATTER AND LAUGHTER

0:05:39 > 0:05:42Oh, Ernest, doesn't it sound wonderful?

0:05:42 > 0:05:44Cor blimey, eh?

0:05:44 > 0:05:46Five shillings to get in!

0:05:46 > 0:05:48A bit posh if you ask me.

0:05:49 > 0:05:52Tell you what, it's under a shilling at our church hall

0:05:52 > 0:05:54next Saturday.

0:05:54 > 0:05:56- Are you on?- Oh, Ernest!

0:05:56 > 0:05:58HE LAUGHS

0:06:06 > 0:06:07HE SNIFFS

0:06:07 > 0:06:12- Lovely flowers, darling.- Oh, that's Dad. He's potty about the garden.

0:06:12 > 0:06:15- Did you ALL grow up here? - Yes, 11 of us.

0:06:15 > 0:06:19Bob, Beaty, Mag, Edie, me, Frank, Flo, Jessie, George, Joe and Bill.

0:06:19 > 0:06:21Cor blimey! SHE CHUCKLES

0:06:21 > 0:06:24Come and meet Mum and Dad.

0:06:24 > 0:06:25Ernest, your tie.

0:06:25 > 0:06:29- Want to make a good impression. - Oh, yes, darling.

0:06:30 > 0:06:32George was killed in the war,

0:06:32 > 0:06:35Bob died as a baby and Beaty died at two and a half.

0:06:37 > 0:06:39- Poor little kiddies.- Hm.

0:06:41 > 0:06:42Hello, dear.

0:06:42 > 0:06:46Mum, this is Ernest.

0:06:46 > 0:06:49Very pleased to meet you, uh, Mrs Bowyer.

0:06:59 > 0:07:01You haven't asked me to your home yet, dear.

0:07:01 > 0:07:04Yeah, well, it's not as nice as yours, darling.

0:07:04 > 0:07:06What do you mean, "not as nice"?

0:07:06 > 0:07:10Well, there's scrap iron, rag-and-bone men,

0:07:10 > 0:07:13there's fights outside the pubs. Women, too.

0:07:13 > 0:07:15The coppers won't go down there.

0:07:15 > 0:07:17The last one that did go, they bashed him up,

0:07:17 > 0:07:20then sat on him and blew his whistle to fetch more coppers.

0:07:20 > 0:07:22Oh! Ernest.

0:07:22 > 0:07:24It's not your cup of tea, darling.

0:07:32 > 0:07:36Am I to understand that you wish to leave us?

0:07:36 > 0:07:37Yes, madam.

0:07:37 > 0:07:39To get married?

0:07:39 > 0:07:41Yes, madam.

0:07:41 > 0:07:43To a man?!

0:07:43 > 0:07:45Yes, madam.

0:07:45 > 0:07:46Well...

0:07:47 > 0:07:49..I hope you know what you're doing.

0:07:49 > 0:07:51Ever so sorry, madam.

0:07:58 > 0:08:00Give us your box, darlin'.

0:08:00 > 0:08:02Oh!

0:08:02 > 0:08:05I don't like leaving them. They're so helpless.

0:08:05 > 0:08:07They can't do a thing for themselves.

0:08:07 > 0:08:09Hm. Serve 'em right.

0:08:09 > 0:08:11Bloated plutocrats!

0:08:11 > 0:08:13There's no need to swear, Ernest.

0:08:13 > 0:08:14What?

0:08:16 > 0:08:19Don't worry about them. They'll soon get another skivvy.

0:08:19 > 0:08:21I was not a skivvy!

0:08:21 > 0:08:25I was a lady's maid and, what's more,

0:08:25 > 0:08:27I'm going to be married!

0:08:27 > 0:08:29So am I!

0:08:29 > 0:08:31THEY LAUGH

0:08:44 > 0:08:46Oh, it's lovely.

0:08:46 > 0:08:48But £825?

0:08:48 > 0:08:51Can we afford that mortgage business?

0:08:51 > 0:08:54Yeah, it's easy. I'll be getting three guineas a week soon.

0:08:54 > 0:09:00Besides, we've got 25 years. 19...55, it'll be ours.

0:09:02 > 0:09:04A wrought-iron gate, your ladyship.

0:09:04 > 0:09:06SHE GIGGLES

0:09:06 > 0:09:07You silly.

0:09:07 > 0:09:11Oh, and look, Ernest, a marble pillar!

0:09:16 > 0:09:18LAUGHS: Look at this.

0:09:18 > 0:09:20Oh!

0:09:21 > 0:09:26Oh, Ernest. There's so much space.

0:09:26 > 0:09:30- We could get those electric lights put in.- Yeah, nice and modern.

0:09:30 > 0:09:33Brother Fred's got a wireless. He can hear Germany.

0:09:33 > 0:09:35Whatever would you want to hear Germany for?

0:09:38 > 0:09:41Oh! A French window!

0:09:42 > 0:09:45Oh, Ernest, there's a bathroom!

0:09:45 > 0:09:47Blimey! A lav too.

0:09:47 > 0:09:49Er, come along, Ernest.

0:09:49 > 0:09:51TOILET FLUSHES

0:09:51 > 0:09:53Hm! Ha!

0:09:54 > 0:09:59Enormous bedroom! Four windows in one room!

0:09:59 > 0:10:01It'll cost a fortune for curtains.

0:10:01 > 0:10:04A bit different to home, eh, darling?

0:10:04 > 0:10:06Lots of rooms for two people.

0:10:06 > 0:10:09Perhaps there'll be more than two one day.

0:10:12 > 0:10:16- What? Lodgers, you mean?- No! - SHE CHUCKLES

0:10:17 > 0:10:20This could be our baby's room.

0:10:20 > 0:10:22Nice and warm over the kitchen.

0:10:22 > 0:10:25Let's get rid of this old range.

0:10:25 > 0:10:27Cor! This boiler came out of the ark.

0:10:27 > 0:10:28SHE CHUCKLES

0:10:28 > 0:10:31# I held your hand when I touched a moonbeam

0:10:31 > 0:10:32# And now you're in... #

0:10:32 > 0:10:35Hello, puss. CAT MEOWS AND PURRS

0:10:35 > 0:10:38- Oh!- A fair bit of garden.

0:10:38 > 0:10:39More than down home.

0:10:39 > 0:10:42Oh, I've always wanted my own bit of garden.

0:10:42 > 0:10:44Good little shed for my bike and workshop.

0:10:44 > 0:10:46Hey, mind you keep it tidy.

0:10:46 > 0:10:49Don't you start bossing me about before we get married!

0:10:49 > 0:10:53- HE LAUGHS - Oh, Ernest, I can't believe it.

0:10:53 > 0:10:57- We'll have a kitchen AND a scullery. - A sitting room AND a dining room.

0:10:57 > 0:10:59- A garden AND a shed. - Don't forget the hall.

0:10:59 > 0:11:01And the bathroom! Luxury!

0:11:01 > 0:11:05- Oh! - THEY LAUGH

0:11:05 > 0:11:08CHURCH BELLS RING

0:11:08 > 0:11:11Yes, that's it. Hold... Hold to that there, if you could.

0:11:11 > 0:11:14That's it, lovely. That's it, Mrs Briggs. Lovely. Very nice.

0:11:14 > 0:11:17Now, hold there. Hold it there. Big smiles.

0:11:17 > 0:11:18We'll have one more of those.

0:11:18 > 0:11:22Go on, Ern. Let's see a kiss for the bride. Go on, Ern.

0:11:23 > 0:11:26CHEERING

0:11:28 > 0:11:31Yeah, one more. One more, please, everybody.

0:11:31 > 0:11:33JAZZY TUNE PLAYS

0:11:33 > 0:11:35# Ooh

0:11:35 > 0:11:40# What a little moonlight can do... #

0:11:43 > 0:11:47Isn't the bedroom huge?

0:11:47 > 0:11:50We'll need some cases under the bed for our clothes.

0:11:50 > 0:11:52A wardrobe, Ernest!

0:11:52 > 0:11:55Oh. Oh, yes. Course.

0:11:57 > 0:11:59WHISTLING

0:12:04 > 0:12:06HE WHISTLES

0:12:13 > 0:12:16IN HIGH-PITCHED VOICE: Good morning, madam. How many today, please?

0:12:16 > 0:12:18Just you keep off my clean step, young man.

0:12:18 > 0:12:20- HE LAUGHS - Oh!

0:12:20 > 0:12:21- SHE LAUGHS - Oh, Ernest!

0:12:21 > 0:12:24I got a round that finishes down our road, Ette.

0:12:24 > 0:12:25That's nice, dear.

0:12:25 > 0:12:29I should be done about 12. Then I can get going on that old range.

0:12:29 > 0:12:30HE GRUNTS

0:12:30 > 0:12:34I'll be glad to see the back of that thing.

0:12:34 > 0:12:36It's a pig, duck.

0:12:36 > 0:12:40One of those nice new gas cookers, that's what we need.

0:12:40 > 0:12:42Oh! CLANGING

0:12:42 > 0:12:43Careful, Ernest!

0:12:43 > 0:12:45Whoa-ho!

0:12:45 > 0:12:47# Any old iron, any old iron

0:12:47 > 0:12:49# Any, any, any old iron

0:12:49 > 0:12:50# You look neat, talk about a treat

0:12:50 > 0:12:52# You look dapper from your napper to your feet... #

0:12:52 > 0:12:56Ernest, don't sing those dreadful cockney songs.

0:12:56 > 0:12:58# Dressed in style, brand-new tile

0:12:58 > 0:13:00# And your father's old green tie on

0:13:00 > 0:13:03# But I wouldn't give you tuppence for your old watch and chain

0:13:03 > 0:13:05# Old iron, old iron. # HE HUMS "SHAVE AND A HAIRCUT"

0:13:05 > 0:13:07All right! CLANGING

0:13:07 > 0:13:08Hey!

0:13:08 > 0:13:10Oh.

0:13:10 > 0:13:12SHE COUGHS That's done the job.

0:13:12 > 0:13:14GRUNTING AND SCRAPING

0:13:14 > 0:13:16That's it. Smashing bed.

0:13:16 > 0:13:19Nearly new. Mahogany, I think.

0:13:19 > 0:13:20Whoop!

0:13:20 > 0:13:22Good springs, look.

0:13:22 > 0:13:24- BED SQUEAKS Newlyweds need good springs.- Oh!

0:13:24 > 0:13:25Come and try it out, darling.

0:13:25 > 0:13:27Certainly not, Ernest.

0:13:27 > 0:13:29It's broad daylight!

0:13:29 > 0:13:31HE LAUGHS

0:13:33 > 0:13:37- I finished the new draining board, darling!- Oh, lovely.

0:13:37 > 0:13:40Fits over the edge. Removable for cleaning.

0:13:40 > 0:13:43What with that and the new cooker...

0:13:43 > 0:13:45We're in clover! SHE LAUGHS

0:13:46 > 0:13:47There. Bang on!

0:13:49 > 0:13:53Huh! It says here over two million unemployed.

0:13:53 > 0:13:55I'm lucky to be a milkman, Ette.

0:13:55 > 0:13:58I hate coal under the stairs.

0:13:58 > 0:14:02Coal dust gets everywhere and it's so common.

0:14:02 > 0:14:05Ha! I'll build a brick bunker in the garden, then.

0:14:05 > 0:14:07(That'd be lovely.)

0:14:08 > 0:14:11What do you reckon, Ette? Ho-ho!

0:14:11 > 0:14:14Oh, Ernest, it's far too big.

0:14:15 > 0:14:17I'll make some nice loose covers.

0:14:17 > 0:14:20Came out of a posh hotel. A bargain!

0:14:20 > 0:14:24I've made a curtain for under the tank. It'll hide the pipes.

0:14:24 > 0:14:27I'll keep my outdoor clothes there. The pipes will dry them off.

0:14:27 > 0:14:30Oh, but your coats smell of stale milk, Ernest.

0:14:30 > 0:14:31Yeah, sorry.

0:14:33 > 0:14:35Do you think you'll ever be promoted?

0:14:35 > 0:14:37No bloomin' fear. Not me.

0:14:37 > 0:14:42Yard foreman, stuck in a tin shed all day, adding up rows of figures?

0:14:42 > 0:14:45Blow that for a lark. I like the fresh air!

0:14:45 > 0:14:47I could have married...

0:14:47 > 0:14:49a deep-sea diver.

0:14:49 > 0:14:52- Well, why didn't you?- Because...

0:14:52 > 0:14:53I didn't love him.

0:15:00 > 0:15:03CLOCK TICKS QUIETLY

0:15:05 > 0:15:08Why do you keep that picture of a baby on the wall?

0:15:08 > 0:15:10Why do you think?!

0:15:10 > 0:15:12Well, it's not a relative, is it?

0:15:12 > 0:15:15We've been married over two years.

0:15:15 > 0:15:18- I'll soon be 37! - SHE CRIES

0:15:19 > 0:15:21Oh. Eh...

0:15:23 > 0:15:25Don't cry.

0:15:25 > 0:15:27- I'm sorry. - SHE SOBS

0:15:27 > 0:15:31Oh, shush, shush, shush.

0:15:31 > 0:15:34I know. I know.

0:15:36 > 0:15:38RAIN FALLS

0:15:41 > 0:15:44Evening Standard! Late news, late news!

0:15:44 > 0:15:47Hitler wins power in Germany.

0:15:48 > 0:15:52- Here you go, Rich.- Ta, Ern. Evening Standard!

0:15:52 > 0:15:55- Cor blimey.- Hitler wins power in Germany!

0:15:58 > 0:15:59This bloke, Adolf Hitler...

0:15:59 > 0:16:02Says they're publishing his book over here.

0:16:02 > 0:16:05- Mein Kampf, it's called.- Oh!

0:16:05 > 0:16:07That's nice of him.

0:16:07 > 0:16:08Huh?

0:16:17 > 0:16:19HE GRUNTS

0:16:22 > 0:16:23Ette!

0:16:25 > 0:16:27- Surprise, dear.- Oh.

0:16:27 > 0:16:29- New mirror!- It's lovely!

0:16:29 > 0:16:31How ever did you get it home?

0:16:31 > 0:16:34- I walked it back on my bike pedal. - How much was it?

0:16:34 > 0:16:37Only half a dollar. I got it off of didicoy down home.

0:16:37 > 0:16:40I've got a surprise for you too.

0:16:40 > 0:16:42- Oh, yes?- I've been to...

0:16:42 > 0:16:46um...the doctor.

0:16:47 > 0:16:49Oh... And?

0:16:49 > 0:16:52- You mean?- Mm.

0:16:52 > 0:16:53- We're...?- Yeah.

0:16:53 > 0:16:55We're going to...?

0:16:55 > 0:16:57Yippee!

0:16:57 > 0:16:59- I can't believe it!- Oh, Ette!

0:16:59 > 0:17:01THEY LAUGH

0:17:01 > 0:17:03# Blue skies are round the corner... #

0:17:03 > 0:17:06- Happy birthday, darling. - Oh, Ernest.

0:17:07 > 0:17:12And your cards! They get bigger every year. This one is all padded.

0:17:12 > 0:17:13SHE LAUGHS

0:17:13 > 0:17:16But my best present isn't due until January.

0:17:16 > 0:17:19- HE LAUGHS More tea, Ette.- Mm-hm.

0:17:19 > 0:17:22# Won't you feel happy to be

0:17:23 > 0:17:26# Sharing the sunshine with me? #

0:17:26 > 0:17:28WIND HOWLS

0:17:35 > 0:17:38- FAINT SCREAMING - One more push, Mrs Briggs.

0:17:38 > 0:17:40- SHE SCREAMS - Very good.

0:17:40 > 0:17:43Goodness gracious me! What a fuss!

0:17:43 > 0:17:46You'll wake the neighbours, so you will.

0:17:46 > 0:17:48WHISTLING

0:17:58 > 0:18:01Oh, my God! Ette!

0:18:01 > 0:18:03Wait!

0:18:05 > 0:18:07HE PANTS

0:18:14 > 0:18:16Steady now, Mr Briggs.

0:18:16 > 0:18:20You will surely not be bringing those bottles into the birth room.

0:18:20 > 0:18:22Sorry, Mrs... Madam, nurse.

0:18:22 > 0:18:24- Is she...?- It's a boy.

0:18:25 > 0:18:27- Is she...?- Mother is well.

0:18:28 > 0:18:30Oh, thank God for that.

0:18:31 > 0:18:34Get as much rest as you can now, Mrs Briggs.

0:18:34 > 0:18:35Baby is doing fine.

0:18:35 > 0:18:38Thank you, Doctor.

0:18:38 > 0:18:40Hello, Doctor.

0:18:40 > 0:18:41Ette.

0:18:41 > 0:18:43Oh, Ernest!

0:18:44 > 0:18:45Oh!

0:18:47 > 0:18:50- When was it?- About five.

0:18:50 > 0:18:53I was just doing Ashland Grove.

0:18:53 > 0:18:56Nearly ran out of stelerised.

0:18:56 > 0:18:59How do you feel? You...you look done in.

0:18:59 > 0:19:00Tired.

0:19:02 > 0:19:04It's all red.

0:19:04 > 0:19:07He. It's a he.

0:19:07 > 0:19:09Oh, yes. DOCTOR CLEARS THROAT

0:19:09 > 0:19:12Mr Briggs, a word.

0:19:12 > 0:19:14Yes, Doctor.

0:19:19 > 0:19:22- It was touch and go.- Oh?

0:19:22 > 0:19:24Your wife is 38.

0:19:24 > 0:19:26There had better not be any more.

0:19:28 > 0:19:29But we wanted a proper family.

0:19:29 > 0:19:32More children, no more wife.

0:19:32 > 0:19:34I'm sorry.

0:19:34 > 0:19:36Good day to you.

0:19:41 > 0:19:43BABY CRIES

0:19:51 > 0:19:55Right a bit, Ette. Don't want the nappies in the picture.

0:19:55 > 0:19:57That's it.

0:19:57 > 0:19:59Hold it.

0:19:59 > 0:20:00I don't have to tell YOU to smile.

0:20:00 > 0:20:02BABY COOS HE LAUGHS

0:20:06 > 0:20:10This MP's pleading that working-class flats should be

0:20:10 > 0:20:13built with bathrooms. Labour MP, of course.

0:20:13 > 0:20:16They always say if you give the working-class a bath,

0:20:16 > 0:20:17they keep the coal in it.

0:20:17 > 0:20:21Oh, yeah? I haven't noticed much coal in our bath.

0:20:21 > 0:20:24Ernest! We are not working class!

0:20:24 > 0:20:26Ha!

0:20:26 > 0:20:27DOORBELL RINGS

0:20:29 > 0:20:31Oh, it's you.

0:20:31 > 0:20:35- Hello, Ette. I've come to see the baby.- Hm.

0:20:35 > 0:20:36Come in.

0:20:36 > 0:20:38Oh, how are you, ducks?

0:20:38 > 0:20:41Ernest, it's your stepmother...

0:20:41 > 0:20:43again.

0:20:43 > 0:20:44Hello, Mum.

0:20:44 > 0:20:48I brought you a couple of bottles of stout

0:20:48 > 0:20:50and some coal.

0:20:50 > 0:20:52Oh, thanks.

0:20:52 > 0:20:53Thanks, Mum. No need.

0:20:53 > 0:20:56Now, where's my little boy?

0:20:57 > 0:20:59Oh, ain't he grown?

0:20:59 > 0:21:02- RADIO:- 'This is the BBC in London.'

0:21:02 > 0:21:04- What?- 'There now follows the news.'

0:21:04 > 0:21:07'German Chancellor Adolf Hitler announced today new laws that

0:21:07 > 0:21:10'will forbid Jews remaining as German citizens...'

0:21:10 > 0:21:13'Ere, Ern, turn that blessed wireless thing off.

0:21:13 > 0:21:16I don't want that man hear what I'm saying.

0:21:16 > 0:21:17THEY GIGGLE

0:21:17 > 0:21:19'Prime Minister Neville Chamberlain said

0:21:19 > 0:21:21'that a new meeting's going to be held...'

0:21:28 > 0:21:31Here, Ette, did you know if you're a Jew in Germany,

0:21:31 > 0:21:34you're forbidden to marry a German?

0:21:34 > 0:21:35- SLEEPILY:- Hm?

0:21:35 > 0:21:38I'd hate to marry a German.

0:21:38 > 0:21:39No...

0:21:40 > 0:21:42HE SIGHS

0:21:43 > 0:21:47Cor! This gas copper's a real luxury.

0:21:47 > 0:21:50Just turn the tap and strike a match.

0:21:50 > 0:21:51SHE CHUCKLES

0:21:51 > 0:21:54BBC's going to start tel-e-vision later this year.

0:21:54 > 0:21:57What's that when it's at home?

0:21:57 > 0:22:00Well, it looks like a wireless set with pictures on top of it.

0:22:00 > 0:22:02Moving pictures?

0:22:02 > 0:22:03Talkies?

0:22:03 > 0:22:05Yeah.

0:22:05 > 0:22:08It'll be like going to the pictures without going out.

0:22:08 > 0:22:11What, you just sit and look at it?

0:22:11 > 0:22:13- Yeah.- Hm...

0:22:13 > 0:22:16Suppose it might be all right for the gentry.

0:22:19 > 0:22:21- Oh! - BABY CRIES

0:22:21 > 0:22:23Oh!

0:22:23 > 0:22:27- BABY CRIES - Let's see that nappy, then.

0:22:27 > 0:22:30Oh. Another lot of washing.

0:22:30 > 0:22:32SHE CHUCKLES

0:22:33 > 0:22:37It says the average family needs £6 week to keep it

0:22:37 > 0:22:38above the poverty line.

0:22:38 > 0:22:41- What's the poverty line? - Don't know.

0:22:41 > 0:22:43Just wish I earned £6 a week,

0:22:43 > 0:22:45what with the nipper growing up so fast.

0:22:48 > 0:22:50JAZZY MUSIC PLAYS

0:22:52 > 0:22:56- Whee! - CHILD LAUGHS

0:22:56 > 0:22:59Hey-hey! That's the way to do it, boysie!

0:22:59 > 0:23:00Again, again!

0:23:00 > 0:23:03Oh, Ernest, he's getting such a big boy.

0:23:03 > 0:23:07- No, he's not. He's skinny like me. - Wiry, Ernest.

0:23:07 > 0:23:10And tall and lovely hair.

0:23:10 > 0:23:12All those curls.

0:23:13 > 0:23:15Oh, look! That's new.

0:23:15 > 0:23:18They're serving teas in the balcony.

0:23:18 > 0:23:21There's waitresses in aprons and caps.

0:23:21 > 0:23:23Looks a bit posh.

0:23:23 > 0:23:26- Whee!- Maybe some other time, my dear.- Again!

0:23:26 > 0:23:29Yes...some other time.

0:23:33 > 0:23:35HE HUMS

0:23:35 > 0:23:37SOBBING

0:23:40 > 0:23:43Whatever's up, darling? What are you crying for?

0:23:43 > 0:23:47- I've had it done!- What? What?

0:23:47 > 0:23:50- His hair.- Eh?

0:23:50 > 0:23:54They've cut it all off. His beautiful curls!

0:23:54 > 0:23:57Well, blimey, it's got to be done, Ette.

0:23:57 > 0:24:00We can't have him running around like a blooming girl all his life!

0:24:00 > 0:24:03He's not a baby any more. He'll be off to school in no time.

0:24:03 > 0:24:05- SOBBING:- I know!

0:24:05 > 0:24:08Hello, boysie. SHE CONTINUES CRYING

0:24:08 > 0:24:10What's wrong with Mum?

0:24:11 > 0:24:13SHE HOWLS

0:24:19 > 0:24:21Mum! Mum!

0:24:21 > 0:24:23Raymond, dear, shouldn't you be in school?

0:24:23 > 0:24:25Mum, Mum! Ahh!

0:24:25 > 0:24:27Whatever are you home for?

0:24:27 > 0:24:30You mustn't come home in the middle of the day.

0:24:30 > 0:24:33- HE PANTS - Did you cross that main road?

0:24:33 > 0:24:34You must have done.

0:24:34 > 0:24:37- I can't find the sit-down lavatories!- You can't find the...?

0:24:39 > 0:24:40(We showed you them.)

0:24:40 > 0:24:42No, they're girls'. Girls sit down!

0:24:42 > 0:24:46- No, there's boy sitting-downs as well.- No, there isn't.

0:24:46 > 0:24:50It's all girls! Look out, I want to go number twos!

0:24:50 > 0:24:52FOOTSTEPS THUD UPSTAIRS DOOR SLAMS

0:24:52 > 0:24:54Nice day again, Mrs Bennet.

0:24:54 > 0:24:57Yes, lovely, Mrs Briggs.

0:24:57 > 0:24:59TOILET FLUSHES

0:25:02 > 0:25:07HITLER SHOUTS IN GERMAN OVER RADIO

0:25:09 > 0:25:13Sounds like that Hitler's on the warpath good and proper.

0:25:13 > 0:25:14Oh.

0:25:14 > 0:25:17Just hark at 'em.

0:25:17 > 0:25:19They're all barmy.

0:25:19 > 0:25:22Our George was killed in the last one.

0:25:23 > 0:25:24And brother Tom.

0:25:25 > 0:25:28It doesn't seem all that long ago.

0:25:28 > 0:25:30RAYMOND GIGGLES IN GARDEN

0:25:30 > 0:25:32My poor old mother never got over it.

0:25:37 > 0:25:39SEAGULLS CRY

0:25:40 > 0:25:42HE GIGGLES

0:25:42 > 0:25:45This television is going to be on one and a half hours every evening.

0:25:45 > 0:25:47Dreadful.

0:25:47 > 0:25:50It'll be like going to the pictures every day.

0:25:51 > 0:25:55Blimey! There's a photo here of the Duke and Duchess of Windsor

0:25:55 > 0:25:57shaking hands with Hitler.

0:25:57 > 0:25:59Oh, he can't be so bad, then.

0:25:59 > 0:26:01What?

0:26:04 > 0:26:06Look, Mum.

0:26:06 > 0:26:08- RADIO:- 'The Prime Minister, Neville Chamberlain,

0:26:08 > 0:26:12'returned from Germany today and spoke to crowds at Heston airport

0:26:12 > 0:26:14'with the promise of peace.'

0:26:14 > 0:26:18- CHAMBERLAIN:- 'I had another talk

0:26:18 > 0:26:20'with the German Chancellor, Herr Hitler.

0:26:22 > 0:26:29'And here is the paper which bears his name upon it, as well as mine.'

0:26:29 > 0:26:32CHEERING OVER RADIO

0:26:32 > 0:26:36Cor, Ette. Old Chamberlain is giving Hitler half of Czechoslovakia.

0:26:36 > 0:26:38Oh, yes?

0:26:38 > 0:26:41He says it's peace with honour. Peace in our time.

0:26:41 > 0:26:44Think goodness for that. Don't you want that bit of toast, Ernest?

0:26:44 > 0:26:47Nah. No, thanks, dear.

0:26:53 > 0:26:55Evening Standard!

0:26:57 > 0:26:59Ta, Ern.

0:27:03 > 0:27:04You there, Ette?

0:27:04 > 0:27:06In here!

0:27:06 > 0:27:08Hitler's marched into Prague now.

0:27:08 > 0:27:10He'll be coming down our road soon.

0:27:10 > 0:27:13Adolf Hitler? In Wimbledon Park?

0:27:13 > 0:27:17It says here the government is going to spend £200,000

0:27:17 > 0:27:19on air-raid shelters.

0:27:19 > 0:27:20We'd better get ourselves ready.

0:27:20 > 0:27:23Oh, not on the table, Ernest!

0:27:23 > 0:27:25GRUNTING

0:27:25 > 0:27:29It's going to be very stuffy with all this blackout up, Ernest.

0:27:29 > 0:27:32Not half as stuffy as a gas-proof room would be.

0:27:32 > 0:27:34Poisoned gas?!

0:27:34 > 0:27:35Oh, I hadn't thought of that!

0:27:35 > 0:27:37You have to bung up the chimney,

0:27:37 > 0:27:39tape over the cracks around the doors and windows,

0:27:39 > 0:27:42put wet newspapers in between the floorboards.

0:27:42 > 0:27:44It's a right old barney. RAYMOND GIGGLES

0:27:44 > 0:27:45Rarr!

0:27:45 > 0:27:47- RAYMOND GIGGLES - Oh, Raymond! Behave.

0:27:47 > 0:27:50This isn't a game, you know?

0:27:50 > 0:27:53# Underneath the spreading chestnut tree...

0:27:53 > 0:27:56- BOTH: - # Mr Chamberlain and said to me

0:27:56 > 0:27:59# If you want your gas masks fitted free

0:27:59 > 0:28:03# Join the blinking ARP. #

0:28:03 > 0:28:04RAYMOND LAUGHS

0:28:06 > 0:28:09"Read this booklet until you know by heart what it contains."

0:28:09 > 0:28:12Oh, I wish I had a proper gas mask carrier.

0:28:12 > 0:28:16Not a soppy old cardboard box and string. It's not fair!

0:28:16 > 0:28:18- CRASHING - Oh, dear.

0:28:18 > 0:28:21Ernest! Ernest, can you hear me?

0:28:21 > 0:28:23- No!- I can!

0:28:23 > 0:28:25Be quiet, son. RAYMOND GIGGLES

0:28:27 > 0:28:31Can you beat it? IRA bombs in London, Manchester and Birmingham.

0:28:31 > 0:28:32When will it end?

0:28:32 > 0:28:36Oh, those Irish, they're just like the blessed Arabs and Jews.

0:28:36 > 0:28:39- Always at it.- Yes, and don't forget the Serbs and Croats.

0:28:39 > 0:28:43They're just as bad. Then there's the Hindus and the Muslims.

0:28:43 > 0:28:47Why can't they all just be like us and live in peace?

0:28:49 > 0:28:51- RADIO:- 'We interrupt this broadcast with an announcement from

0:28:51 > 0:28:54'the Prime Minister in London.'

0:28:56 > 0:28:59'I am speaking to you from the Cabinet Room

0:28:59 > 0:29:01'of 10 Downing Street...'

0:29:01 > 0:29:03# Underneath the spreading chestnut tree... #

0:29:03 > 0:29:06- Shush! It's the Prime Minister. - # Mr Chamberlin said to me... #

0:29:06 > 0:29:08Shush, dear!

0:29:08 > 0:29:11'..handed the German government a final note,

0:29:11 > 0:29:16'stating that unless we heard from them by 11 o'clock

0:29:16 > 0:29:19'that they were prepared at once to withdraw

0:29:19 > 0:29:22'their troops from Poland,

0:29:22 > 0:29:25'a state of war would exist between us.

0:29:27 > 0:29:28'I have to tell you now

0:29:28 > 0:29:32'that no such undertaking has been received...

0:29:33 > 0:29:39'..and that, consequently, this country is at war with Germany.'

0:29:39 > 0:29:40ERNEST SWITCHES OFF RADIO

0:29:41 > 0:29:44Blimey, duck.

0:29:44 > 0:29:45This is it.

0:29:45 > 0:29:48- SHE WHIMPERS - Mum?

0:29:51 > 0:29:54AIR-RAID SIREN BLARES

0:30:00 > 0:30:04AIR-RAID SIREN CONTINUES

0:30:18 > 0:30:20- RADIO:- 'The government announced today

0:30:20 > 0:30:23'that one and a half million children are to be evacuated.

0:30:23 > 0:30:25'Children living in big cities and towns...'

0:30:25 > 0:30:27- No!- '..are to be moved temporarily from their homes...'

0:30:27 > 0:30:30- No, they're not taking ours away. - Course they are.

0:30:30 > 0:30:34No, they're not. Over my dead body!

0:30:34 > 0:30:37- It'll be over HIS dead body, then. Is that what you want?- Oh...

0:30:37 > 0:30:38Oh, Ernest!

0:30:38 > 0:30:40Well, that's exactly what will happen. He's got to go.

0:30:40 > 0:30:42ETHEL SOBS

0:30:42 > 0:30:46Oh, sorry, darling. Come on.

0:30:46 > 0:30:49- Don't cry.- My little baby...

0:30:49 > 0:30:52- Don't cry, love.- My baby...

0:30:52 > 0:30:53I know...

0:30:55 > 0:30:58STEAM HISSES TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWS

0:31:03 > 0:31:05INDISTINCT TANNOY ANNOUNCEMENT

0:31:05 > 0:31:07DOG BARKS

0:31:07 > 0:31:09HUBBUB

0:31:11 > 0:31:13TRAIN WHISTLE IN BACKGROUND

0:31:16 > 0:31:18You be a good boy now, Raymond.

0:31:20 > 0:31:22Come on, then.

0:31:22 > 0:31:24Up you go, son. That's it.

0:31:24 > 0:31:26RAYMOND GRUNTS

0:31:26 > 0:31:28Bye, son.

0:31:28 > 0:31:32- We'll send you some things in the post.- Stand clear now!

0:31:32 > 0:31:34I know, I know...

0:31:34 > 0:31:35GUARD BLOWS WHISTLE

0:31:35 > 0:31:38TRAIN WHISTLE

0:31:46 > 0:31:49Bye, darling. Bye...

0:31:49 > 0:31:51Bye, son.

0:32:03 > 0:32:05He's gone!

0:32:05 > 0:32:09- He's gone...- Don't cry, darling.

0:32:09 > 0:32:11He'll be safe down the country.

0:32:13 > 0:32:15He's only five!

0:32:16 > 0:32:18ETHEL SOBS

0:32:25 > 0:32:27DISTANT TRAIN WHISTLE

0:32:39 > 0:32:41Ernest!

0:32:41 > 0:32:43Ernest, it must be from Raymond.

0:32:43 > 0:32:45Yes! Yes!

0:32:45 > 0:32:51"Dear Mum and Dad, Aunty Flo and Aunty Betty are very nice ladies."

0:32:51 > 0:32:55Look, he's done some drawings, too.

0:32:55 > 0:32:59"I sleep on a camp bed in Aunty Flo's bedroom."

0:32:59 > 0:33:01Aw, poor little mite.

0:33:01 > 0:33:06"I get the milk in a can. It is not in bottles because it is cows."

0:33:06 > 0:33:08Milk not in bottles? Blimey.

0:33:08 > 0:33:12"I rode on a carthorse's back when we got the hay.

0:33:12 > 0:33:14"I nearly did the splits.

0:33:14 > 0:33:16"Yours sincerely, Raymond."

0:33:16 > 0:33:18"Yours sincerely"!

0:33:18 > 0:33:20THEY LAUGH

0:33:20 > 0:33:22MUSIC PLAYS

0:33:23 > 0:33:25ERNEST WHEEZES

0:33:25 > 0:33:27# There's a place for your hat... #

0:33:27 > 0:33:29Mind my antirrhinums, Ernest.

0:33:29 > 0:33:31ERNEST GRUNTS

0:33:31 > 0:33:33I hope you know what you're doing.

0:33:33 > 0:33:36Eh? Course, duck. You just wait.

0:33:36 > 0:33:39# I've got the deepest shelter in town... #

0:33:39 > 0:33:42That's it. All done.

0:33:42 > 0:33:45Is that it? Finished?

0:33:45 > 0:33:47Is it really bombproof?

0:33:47 > 0:33:49You'll have to wait and see.

0:33:49 > 0:33:51# And I've got central heat

0:33:51 > 0:33:53# But to make it complete... #

0:33:53 > 0:33:54CAT MEOWS

0:33:58 > 0:34:01Russia's invaded Finland now.

0:34:01 > 0:34:03I thought they'd invaded Poland.

0:34:03 > 0:34:07- Yes, they have.- But you said Germany's invaded Poland.

0:34:07 > 0:34:12- Yes, that's right.- Well, who was it invaded Czechoslovakia?- Germany.

0:34:12 > 0:34:15Germany's always invading someone.

0:34:15 > 0:34:19- I expect they'll invade Russia one day.- Cor blimey! Not likely.

0:34:19 > 0:34:23- They're in league.- Or Russia will invade Germany.- Oh, don't be daft.

0:34:23 > 0:34:26Well, if they all keep invading one another,

0:34:26 > 0:34:27we'll end up invading someone.

0:34:27 > 0:34:31Oh, Ette, you just don't understand politics.

0:34:33 > 0:34:34D'oh! Now look.

0:34:34 > 0:34:36Blessed shelter!

0:34:38 > 0:34:39BIRDSONG

0:34:42 > 0:34:45Do you think they ever will come down our road, Ernest?

0:34:45 > 0:34:47I expect it will be OK.

0:34:47 > 0:34:51They say Hitler's assured Holland and Belgium of his friendship.

0:34:51 > 0:34:53Oh, that's nice.

0:34:55 > 0:34:57What do you think? It's all right, eh?

0:34:57 > 0:35:00I thought firemen had those nice brass helmets with curly tops.

0:35:00 > 0:35:04No, blokes have been getting electrocuted in those.

0:35:04 > 0:35:05At last!

0:35:05 > 0:35:07Churchill's taken over.

0:35:07 > 0:35:11- "Blood, toil, tears and sweat." - Ernest!

0:35:11 > 0:35:15- Don't. Disgusting.- It's your gentry talking. His words, not mine.

0:35:15 > 0:35:18Yes, but he was talking to the common people.

0:35:18 > 0:35:21He wouldn't use words like that in his own home.

0:35:22 > 0:35:23HE SIGHS

0:35:23 > 0:35:28- CHURCHILL:- 'What General Weygand has called the Battle of France is over.

0:35:29 > 0:35:32'The Battle of Britain is about to begin.'

0:35:32 > 0:35:34'Upon this battle depends'

0:35:34 > 0:35:38the survival of Christian civilisation.

0:35:38 > 0:35:41But the whole fury and might of the enemy

0:35:41 > 0:35:44'must very soon be turned on us.

0:35:45 > 0:35:49'Hitler knows that he will have to break us in this island

0:35:49 > 0:35:51'or lose the war.'

0:35:51 > 0:35:53AIR-RAID SIREN

0:35:53 > 0:35:55'If we can stand up to him,

0:35:55 > 0:35:59'all Europe may be free, and the life of the world

0:35:59 > 0:36:04'may move forward into broad sunlit uplands.

0:36:06 > 0:36:08'But if we fail,

0:36:08 > 0:36:13'then the whole world, including the United States,

0:36:13 > 0:36:17'will sink into the abyss of a new dark age.'

0:36:18 > 0:36:20MORSE-CODE RECEIVERS BEEP

0:36:20 > 0:36:23'Let us therefore brace ourselves to our duties,

0:36:23 > 0:36:29'and so bear ourselves that if the British Empire and its Commonwealth

0:36:29 > 0:36:32'last for 1,000 years,

0:36:32 > 0:36:34'men will still say...

0:36:35 > 0:36:38'..this was their finest hour.'

0:36:43 > 0:36:47"Broad, sunlit uplands."

0:36:47 > 0:36:50Good old Winston! Our finest hour!

0:36:50 > 0:36:54MUSIC: We'll Meet Again by Ross Parker and Hughie Charles

0:37:00 > 0:37:04They're starting to take away our nice gate and railings.

0:37:04 > 0:37:07- I'll make a wooden gate. - Oh, it's a shame.

0:37:07 > 0:37:09They want saucepans too.

0:37:09 > 0:37:11They make 'em into Spitfires.

0:37:11 > 0:37:15Funny to think of our front gate being a Spitfire.

0:37:19 > 0:37:22ENGINES START UP

0:37:32 > 0:37:34DRAMATIC MUSIC

0:37:47 > 0:37:51BOMBS WHISTLE

0:37:51 > 0:37:54EXPLOSIONS

0:37:54 > 0:37:57AIR-RAID SIREN

0:38:03 > 0:38:06INDISTINCT SHOUTING

0:38:06 > 0:38:08EXPLOSION

0:38:19 > 0:38:22Front door's halfway up the stairs.

0:38:24 > 0:38:26It's spoiled my loose covers.

0:38:26 > 0:38:28AMBULANCE BELL RINGS

0:38:28 > 0:38:30Could've been worse, Ette.

0:38:30 > 0:38:32We got off light.

0:38:32 > 0:38:35I'm glad Raymond was well clear of all this.

0:38:35 > 0:38:37Perhaps when we've got this mess cleared up

0:38:37 > 0:38:40we could take a trip down to Dorset and give him a visit.

0:38:43 > 0:38:45HORSES' HOOVES CLOPPING

0:38:46 > 0:38:49Mum! Dad! Look at me!

0:38:49 > 0:38:50Look!

0:38:50 > 0:38:52Raymond, be careful, dear.

0:38:52 > 0:38:57No need to worry about him, Ethel. He's got quite used to things now.

0:38:59 > 0:39:01PIGS GRUNT

0:39:02 > 0:39:05Oh! Lovely country smells, eh, boysie?

0:39:07 > 0:39:12- Are the pigs like that because of the blackout?- Oh, Ette.

0:39:12 > 0:39:14- PIG GRUNTS - Ooh!

0:39:14 > 0:39:15RAYMOND LAUGHS

0:39:15 > 0:39:17Come along, Raymond. We've seen the pigs.

0:39:17 > 0:39:19ERNEST LAUGHS

0:39:19 > 0:39:20SHEEP BLEAT

0:39:20 > 0:39:24He's fitted into the school very well, hasn't he, Flo?

0:39:24 > 0:39:28- It's as if he's always been here. - Oh, good...

0:39:28 > 0:39:32Mum, the boys at school all have boots.

0:39:32 > 0:39:36They're common boys, Ethel, from Lambeth and Bermondsey.

0:39:36 > 0:39:37Can I have boots?

0:39:37 > 0:39:39Certainly not, Raymond.

0:39:39 > 0:39:41Oh...

0:39:44 > 0:39:47I've always dreamed of a cottage in the country.

0:39:47 > 0:39:50Down here it's hard to believe there's a war on.

0:39:50 > 0:39:52Come on, piggies.

0:39:52 > 0:39:54BIRDSONG

0:39:58 > 0:40:01HAMMERING ERNEST GRUNTS

0:40:01 > 0:40:04That Mr Morrison and his soppy shelter's

0:40:04 > 0:40:06ruined my nice dining room.

0:40:06 > 0:40:08Government precautions, dear.

0:40:08 > 0:40:10Still, at least we won't have to go out into the cold.

0:40:10 > 0:40:13- ETHEL LAUGHS - You look like you're in the zoo.

0:40:13 > 0:40:16I'll paint it brown to tone in with the furniture.

0:40:16 > 0:40:18A nice pastel brown, Ernest.

0:40:21 > 0:40:23CLOCK TICKS QUIETLY

0:40:23 > 0:40:25Blimey.

0:40:25 > 0:40:26What?

0:40:26 > 0:40:28Germany's invaded Russia!

0:40:29 > 0:40:31I wish I'd betted you sixpence.

0:40:31 > 0:40:34AIR-RAID SIREN Oh!

0:40:34 > 0:40:36Night, dear.

0:40:36 > 0:40:37Night.

0:40:37 > 0:40:39AIR-RAID SIREN CONTINUES

0:40:40 > 0:40:42UPBEAT MUSIC

0:40:42 > 0:40:44# Singing in the bath tub

0:40:44 > 0:40:47# Happy once again... #

0:40:47 > 0:40:50Ernest, what on earth are you doing with that ruler?

0:40:50 > 0:40:55Marking five inches. You're only allowed five inches of water.

0:40:55 > 0:40:59But if you were fat, it'd be higher up.

0:40:59 > 0:41:02Yeah, well, the King's done it at Buckingham Palace.

0:41:02 > 0:41:06It's not fair, fat people getting a deeper bath.

0:41:06 > 0:41:09They say you're supposed to share the bath too, darling.

0:41:09 > 0:41:10Disgusting!

0:41:10 > 0:41:13- We share ours. - But not at the same time.

0:41:15 > 0:41:16ERNEST LAUGHS

0:41:18 > 0:41:20DRAMATIC MUSIC

0:41:25 > 0:41:28AIR-RAID SIREN

0:41:28 > 0:41:30FIRE ENGINE BELL RINGS

0:41:30 > 0:41:32Over here! Go on, go on!

0:41:32 > 0:41:34Jerry's got a direct hit.

0:41:34 > 0:41:36Those buildings are going to topple!

0:41:36 > 0:41:40- Is there anyone in 'em? - Don't know. Hope to God not!

0:41:40 > 0:41:43- Ted!- Over here, Ern! On the left. That!

0:41:43 > 0:41:46- Go on, left window.- Come on!

0:41:46 > 0:41:47Left.

0:41:47 > 0:41:49ROARING

0:41:49 > 0:41:52GLASS SMASHES MEN SCREAM

0:41:52 > 0:41:53Watch out!

0:42:01 > 0:42:04DISTANT AMBULANCE BELL

0:42:10 > 0:42:12DOOR UNLOCKS AND OPENS

0:42:13 > 0:42:14DOOR CLOSES

0:42:14 > 0:42:17FOOTSTEPS

0:42:17 > 0:42:19Oh, at last.

0:42:21 > 0:42:22Are you all right?

0:42:24 > 0:42:25Tired.

0:42:27 > 0:42:29Been in the docks.

0:42:30 > 0:42:3214 hours.

0:42:32 > 0:42:35Here. Let me get your boots off.

0:42:37 > 0:42:38- There.- Loads of dead.

0:42:39 > 0:42:41Little kiddie.

0:42:42 > 0:42:44All in bits.

0:42:45 > 0:42:46I had to...

0:42:48 > 0:42:50HE SOBS

0:42:50 > 0:42:52There, there.

0:42:52 > 0:42:54Have a good cry.

0:42:54 > 0:42:55HE SOBS

0:42:58 > 0:43:02- CHOIRBOY: - # The holly bears a prickle

0:43:02 > 0:43:05# As sharp as any thorn... #

0:43:05 > 0:43:11Cor! This Beveridge report! Sickness pay, unemployment pay,

0:43:11 > 0:43:14old age pensions, kiddies' welfare,

0:43:14 > 0:43:16free medicines, free hospitals.

0:43:16 > 0:43:19Don't read, Ernest. Help!

0:43:19 > 0:43:22Social security from the cradle to the grave.

0:43:22 > 0:43:24The welfare state.

0:43:24 > 0:43:28It's what the workers have always fought for. We've won!

0:43:28 > 0:43:30- It'll have to be paid for. - Course it will.

0:43:30 > 0:43:33We'll all chip in, that's the whole idea.

0:43:33 > 0:43:37You can't chip in if you're out of work, or off sick, or on a pension.

0:43:37 > 0:43:39No, well...

0:43:39 > 0:43:41Course not. It's all got to be worked out.

0:43:41 > 0:43:45It's economics, see? Economics will see to it.

0:43:45 > 0:43:47There.

0:43:47 > 0:43:49All done.

0:43:49 > 0:43:52# The holly bears a prickle... #

0:43:52 > 0:43:54Oh, Ernest.

0:43:54 > 0:43:56I know. I know.

0:43:56 > 0:44:00# And Mary bore sweet Jesus Christ

0:44:00 > 0:44:03# On Christmas Day in the morn... #

0:44:06 > 0:44:09- Aunty Flo.- Yes, dear?

0:44:09 > 0:44:12Mm... I wish I could sleep in my own bed again.

0:44:12 > 0:44:16- Course you do, dear.- That Mr Hitler's on the run now, Raymond.

0:44:16 > 0:44:19I'm sure you'll be back in London soon enough.

0:44:21 > 0:44:23There. All done.

0:44:26 > 0:44:28DOOR CLOSES

0:44:28 > 0:44:30You there?!

0:44:30 > 0:44:34- What's up, Ette? - Dearest, I've been promoted.

0:44:34 > 0:44:36- Clerk, grade B3.- Cor!

0:44:36 > 0:44:40No more packing parcels in that rotten freezing warehouse?

0:44:40 > 0:44:42No, I'm going to work in an office.

0:44:42 > 0:44:44THEY LAUGH

0:44:44 > 0:44:45And that's not all, Ette.

0:44:45 > 0:44:48Look, a letter from our boy.

0:44:48 > 0:44:50They reckon he can come home now.

0:44:50 > 0:44:53Oh! Oh, Ernest!

0:44:57 > 0:44:59RAYMOND STRAINS AND LAUGHS

0:45:00 > 0:45:02That's it, son.

0:45:02 > 0:45:05# Dig, dig, dig Feel your muscles getting big

0:45:05 > 0:45:08# Keep on pushing in the spade

0:45:08 > 0:45:11# The turnip tops The potatoes and the carrots

0:45:11 > 0:45:15# Cannot sprout without your aid

0:45:15 > 0:45:17BOTH: # Don't mind the worms

0:45:17 > 0:45:19# Just ignore the squirms

0:45:19 > 0:45:22# When your back aches Laugh with glee!

0:45:22 > 0:45:25# And keep on digging till we give our foes a wigging

0:45:25 > 0:45:28# Dig, dig, dig to victory! #

0:45:28 > 0:45:30RAYMOND CHEERS

0:45:30 > 0:45:33- Cup of tea, boysie?- Thanks, Dad.

0:45:33 > 0:45:35That country air has got you fit.

0:45:37 > 0:45:40DISTANT RUMBLING

0:45:41 > 0:45:44- Dad? - RUMBLING GETS LOUDER

0:45:44 > 0:45:45Come on, son!

0:45:45 > 0:45:48- Down the shelter! Run! - Take cover!

0:45:50 > 0:45:52Doodlebug!

0:45:53 > 0:45:55Get down, son! Get down!

0:45:59 > 0:46:01RUMBLING STOPS

0:46:01 > 0:46:02Engine's cut out.

0:46:02 > 0:46:04Christ, it's coming down!

0:46:08 > 0:46:11EXPLOSION

0:46:15 > 0:46:18Cor. That was close.

0:46:18 > 0:46:22- I didn't know they were bright blue underneath, Dad.- Come on, son.

0:46:22 > 0:46:25Shelter. Before any more of the blighters come over.

0:46:25 > 0:46:26AMBULANCE BELL

0:46:26 > 0:46:29We'd better get you back down the country tomorrow.

0:46:29 > 0:46:31FAINT RUMBLING

0:46:34 > 0:46:35EXPLOSION

0:46:39 > 0:46:41EXPLOSION

0:46:41 > 0:46:42ETHEL SHUDDERS

0:46:44 > 0:46:48Crikey, dear. Sounds like a lot got through tonight.

0:46:49 > 0:46:52RUMBLING STOPS

0:46:52 > 0:46:54I can't hear anything.

0:46:54 > 0:46:56Hold tight, duck.

0:46:58 > 0:47:02GLASS SMASHES ETHEL SCREAMS

0:47:05 > 0:47:07BIRDSONG

0:47:09 > 0:47:12Some shelter! Full of glass.

0:47:12 > 0:47:16Morrison shelters! That Mr Morrison must be a proper twerp.

0:47:16 > 0:47:19Good job the boy wasn't in it.

0:47:19 > 0:47:21He's only been gone two days.

0:47:24 > 0:47:27The old Dorothy Perkins is still in bloom.

0:47:27 > 0:47:29She survived.

0:47:29 > 0:47:31Pity he didn't take his teddy with him.

0:47:31 > 0:47:32ETHEL GASPS

0:47:32 > 0:47:34Oh, Ernest.

0:47:34 > 0:47:37How much more of this is there going to be?

0:47:39 > 0:47:41PIANO MUSIC CHEERING

0:47:43 > 0:47:45CHATTER AND LAUGHTER

0:47:52 > 0:47:54CHEERING AND LAUGHTER

0:47:57 > 0:48:02- Ernest?- What?- Careful, that's your second glass of beer.

0:48:02 > 0:48:06- Victory in Europe, Ette!- Yeah! - CHEERING

0:48:06 > 0:48:10MUSIC: The Lambeth Walk by Douglas Furber and L Arthur Rose

0:48:10 > 0:48:12- # Any time you're Lambeth way... # - Look! Look at Dad!

0:48:12 > 0:48:15# Any evening, any day

0:48:15 > 0:48:17# You'll find us all

0:48:17 > 0:48:20# Doing the Lambeth walk, oi!

0:48:20 > 0:48:22# Every little Lambeth gal

0:48:22 > 0:48:24# With her little Lambeth pal

0:48:24 > 0:48:27# You'll find 'em all

0:48:27 > 0:48:29# Doing the Lambeth walk, oi!

0:48:29 > 0:48:31# Everything's free and easy

0:48:31 > 0:48:33# Do as you darn well pleasey

0:48:33 > 0:48:38# Why don't you make your way there? Go there, stay there! #

0:48:38 > 0:48:42Come on, Arthur! It's VE Day!

0:48:42 > 0:48:45Cheer up. You look like a dog that's lost its tail!

0:48:45 > 0:48:47I lost my boy.

0:48:47 > 0:48:49Oh, yeah...

0:48:50 > 0:48:52I'm sorry, mate.

0:48:53 > 0:48:55I'm sorry, I forgot.

0:48:55 > 0:48:57Sorry.

0:48:57 > 0:48:59PIANO MUSIC LAUGHTER

0:49:14 > 0:49:19# When you come to the end

0:49:19 > 0:49:22# Of a perfect day... #

0:49:22 > 0:49:26Cor. Just think, there'll never be another war.

0:49:26 > 0:49:30Jessie's Bob is still fighting the Japs, don't forget.

0:49:30 > 0:49:34And you can knock this thing down...

0:49:34 > 0:49:35CLANKING

0:49:35 > 0:49:37..when I finish tidying it.

0:49:39 > 0:49:44# ..or the joy that the day has brought... #

0:49:44 > 0:49:46BIRDSONG

0:49:49 > 0:49:51Look. It's come up.

0:49:51 > 0:49:53- What's that, son?- A pear tree.

0:49:53 > 0:49:55Aunty Flo gave me the pips from a pear we ate.

0:49:55 > 0:49:58Better not get too big - it will block out all the light.

0:49:58 > 0:50:00Don't discourage the boy, Ernest.

0:50:00 > 0:50:02I like a nice pear.

0:50:04 > 0:50:06DRAMATIC NEWSREEL MUSIC

0:50:09 > 0:50:10Darling!

0:50:10 > 0:50:12Labour's won!

0:50:12 > 0:50:14We're in! HE LAUGHS

0:50:14 > 0:50:16Such a shame for poor Mr Churchill.

0:50:16 > 0:50:20The working man will be all right now. At last!

0:50:20 > 0:50:22He saved our bacon in the war.

0:50:22 > 0:50:24- Bloody marvellous!- Ernest!

0:50:24 > 0:50:28Mr Churchill never swears. He's a gentleman.

0:50:29 > 0:50:31- I'm Labour, Mum.- Shush, dear.

0:50:33 > 0:50:34- RADIO:- 'It is now estimated

0:50:34 > 0:50:37'that casualties from the atomic bomb

0:50:37 > 0:50:40'dropped on the city of Hiroshima could exceed 100,000 dead.'

0:50:40 > 0:50:43100,000 dead from one bomb!

0:50:43 > 0:50:47Well, at least it'll put paid to wars.

0:50:47 > 0:50:51- Eh? Why?- Well, you can't fight a war with bombs like that.

0:50:51 > 0:50:55- Why not?- Everyone'd be dead the first day.

0:50:55 > 0:50:56Mm.

0:51:07 > 0:51:09Oh!

0:51:09 > 0:51:12He's passed the scholarship!

0:51:12 > 0:51:15He's going to the grammar school!

0:51:15 > 0:51:18Hmm. I hope he won't get too posh for us.

0:51:18 > 0:51:20Oh, Ernest.

0:51:25 > 0:51:27RAYMOND STRAINS

0:51:29 > 0:51:33And there. There we are. Now turn around, sonny. Show Mummy.

0:51:33 > 0:51:35Oh, Raymond!

0:51:35 > 0:51:38You do look smart.

0:51:38 > 0:51:40Oh, wait a minute.

0:51:42 > 0:51:45Can't have a dirty face, can we?

0:51:45 > 0:51:47Not at the grammar school.

0:51:47 > 0:51:49Quite so, madam.

0:51:49 > 0:51:51- Languages, eh?- Oh, yes.

0:51:51 > 0:51:55He has to do French and Latin. And maths.

0:51:55 > 0:51:56Oh, like arithmetic?

0:51:56 > 0:52:00No, not just arithmetic. Um, it's called alge...

0:52:00 > 0:52:04Um, alge-bra.

0:52:04 > 0:52:06Oh. And sport?

0:52:06 > 0:52:11- Does he do his football? - Oh, no. They play rugger.

0:52:11 > 0:52:12Ethel!

0:52:12 > 0:52:14Oh, sorry, must go.

0:52:16 > 0:52:20- You shouldn't go on about it to Mrs Bennet, dear.- Why not?

0:52:20 > 0:52:23Well, her boy didn't get in anywhere. He's a bricklayer now.

0:52:23 > 0:52:28- I don't see why I shouldn't be proud of my own son.- Yeah? Well, OK.

0:52:30 > 0:52:33UPBEAT MUSIC

0:52:38 > 0:52:41- Hey, hey!- Mum! Look!

0:52:44 > 0:52:47- What do you reckon?- Smashing, Dad!

0:52:47 > 0:52:51- It's electric, son.- I hope you can keep control of it, Ernest.

0:52:51 > 0:52:55- Can I have a go on it?- Just you keep away from it.- Oh...- It's dangerous.

0:52:55 > 0:52:57ERNEST LAUGHS See you later.

0:53:01 > 0:53:03Bye!

0:53:07 > 0:53:08ERNEST WHISTLES

0:53:08 > 0:53:10DOG BARKS IN BACKGROUND

0:53:12 > 0:53:14Hello, Ern.

0:53:14 > 0:53:15Hello, Alf.

0:53:17 > 0:53:18Ta.

0:53:18 > 0:53:20- How goes it, then?- Oh, not good.

0:53:20 > 0:53:23My old lady, she's getting a bit much.

0:53:23 > 0:53:25Oh?

0:53:26 > 0:53:30- Rows, you mean? Money? - No, no, no. You know...

0:53:30 > 0:53:31The other.

0:53:31 > 0:53:34- Mm?- It's the change.

0:53:34 > 0:53:36She's on the change.

0:53:36 > 0:53:39Too demanding. Do you know what I mean?

0:53:39 > 0:53:41I can't cope. It's too much for me.

0:53:41 > 0:53:45So...if you ever fancy, you know...

0:53:47 > 0:53:50- You'd be doing me a favour.- Eh?

0:53:50 > 0:53:52What? You mean, er...?

0:53:52 > 0:53:54I'll be out next Saturday, football.

0:53:54 > 0:53:55Fulham's at home. So...

0:53:55 > 0:53:57You mean, you...?

0:53:59 > 0:54:02Yeah, like I say, you'd be doing me a favour.

0:54:04 > 0:54:08Ah, blimey, no. No, mate. No, I couldn't. Sorry, no.

0:54:08 > 0:54:10I've got a barrow to push.

0:54:10 > 0:54:12Er, no hard feelings.

0:54:12 > 0:54:14Nor me neither.

0:54:15 > 0:54:17Ta-da, Alf.

0:54:17 > 0:54:19- See you, Ern.- Alf!

0:54:19 > 0:54:22MUSIC: The Laughing Policeman by Charles Jolly

0:54:25 > 0:54:27# I know a fat old policeman

0:54:27 > 0:54:29# He's always on our street

0:54:29 > 0:54:31# A fat and jolly red-faced man

0:54:31 > 0:54:32# He really is a treat

0:54:32 > 0:54:34# He's too kind for a policeman

0:54:34 > 0:54:36# He's never known to frown

0:54:36 > 0:54:39# And everybody says he is the happiest man in town

0:54:39 > 0:54:43# Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha

0:54:43 > 0:54:46# Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha

0:54:46 > 0:54:50# Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha

0:54:50 > 0:54:54# Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha... #

0:54:54 > 0:54:56- Mrs Briggs?- Yes.

0:54:56 > 0:54:59Detective Sergeant Burnley, CID.

0:54:59 > 0:55:01Oh, no. Whatever is...?

0:55:01 > 0:55:04Your son was apprehended breaking and entering the golf club

0:55:04 > 0:55:07and stealing valuable billiard cues.

0:55:07 > 0:55:08- No!- He's lucky.

0:55:08 > 0:55:11This time we're letting him off with a caution.

0:55:11 > 0:55:12In you go, sunshine.

0:55:12 > 0:55:15Next time, it will be borstal.

0:55:15 > 0:55:16SHE GASPS

0:55:16 > 0:55:19No. No, it's not possible. He...

0:55:19 > 0:55:21He goes to grammar school!

0:55:29 > 0:55:31You wicked, wicked boy!

0:55:31 > 0:55:32I could kill you!

0:55:32 > 0:55:35- Sorry, Mum.- How could you?

0:55:35 > 0:55:37Borstal? Borstal!

0:55:37 > 0:55:39Whatever's going on?

0:55:41 > 0:55:42Well?

0:55:44 > 0:55:45THEY SOB

0:55:49 > 0:55:53- I see your boy came home in a police van.- Yes.

0:55:53 > 0:55:55Yes, he did. That's right.

0:55:55 > 0:55:57He's been helping the police with their investigations.

0:55:57 > 0:56:00- In a Black Maria?- Yes.

0:56:00 > 0:56:03He reported some stolen property he found in the woods.

0:56:03 > 0:56:06The Chief Inspector said he was a very clever boy.

0:56:07 > 0:56:08Hmm.

0:56:15 > 0:56:18Look. More scrap Anderson.

0:56:18 > 0:56:20Oh, fits perfect.

0:56:20 > 0:56:24We'll own all the coal soon. They're going to nationalise it.

0:56:24 > 0:56:26I bet we still have to pay for it.

0:56:26 > 0:56:28Of course we'll have to pay for it, you daft ha'p'orth.

0:56:28 > 0:56:30So we won't own it, then, will we?

0:56:30 > 0:56:34Well, er, not exactly, but it means the profits will go

0:56:34 > 0:56:37to the government instead of lining the pockets of the bosses.

0:56:37 > 0:56:40- And then the government gives the money to us?- No.

0:56:40 > 0:56:41So what's the difference, then?

0:56:43 > 0:56:48Cor. 50,000 GI brides going to America. Kiddies with them, too.

0:56:48 > 0:56:51Children? But they're not married!

0:56:51 > 0:56:53Yeah, well.

0:56:53 > 0:56:56I expect some of them jumped the gun a bit.

0:56:56 > 0:56:59You know what they say about the Yanks? One yank and they're down!

0:57:01 > 0:57:05- What are down?- Er, well, I don't know. It's just a saying.

0:57:05 > 0:57:06ETHEL HUFFS

0:57:17 > 0:57:19Yaaay!

0:57:19 > 0:57:22BELL RINGS ERNEST LAUGHS

0:57:23 > 0:57:27Blimey. There's going to be 1,000 miles of motorway.

0:57:27 > 0:57:29A terrific network.

0:57:29 > 0:57:33What about the green belt? All that lovely country?

0:57:33 > 0:57:36Yeah, well, it'll bypass it, I expect.

0:57:36 > 0:57:40I thought you said there were going to be lots of bypasses already.

0:57:40 > 0:57:43Yeah, well, so there are. It will bypass the bypasses, then.

0:57:43 > 0:57:45And what about the ring roads?

0:57:45 > 0:57:49Look, it will bypass the ring roads AND bypass the bypasses.

0:57:49 > 0:57:53- And bypass the green belt? - Yes, and bypass the green belt!

0:57:53 > 0:57:55That's all right, then.

0:57:55 > 0:57:56HE SIGHS

0:57:57 > 0:57:59Only it does seem a bit of a muddle.

0:57:59 > 0:58:01DISTANT CHURCH BELL TOLLS

0:58:11 > 0:58:12He's passed!

0:58:12 > 0:58:15He's passed the School Certificate.

0:58:16 > 0:58:18It says he's matric...

0:58:18 > 0:58:21matriculated. Or something.

0:58:21 > 0:58:22Is that good?

0:58:22 > 0:58:24Well, of course it's good!

0:58:24 > 0:58:26- What does it mean? - I don't know what it means.

0:58:26 > 0:58:28Not our place to know.

0:58:31 > 0:58:33ERNEST WHISTLES "THE LAMBETH WALK"

0:58:35 > 0:58:37- Morning, Mr Briggs.- Lovely morning.

0:58:40 > 0:58:42ETHEL SOBS

0:58:45 > 0:58:47Whatever's the matter, dear?

0:58:47 > 0:58:53He says he wants to leave the grammar school and go to art school!

0:58:53 > 0:58:55Art school?!

0:58:55 > 0:58:58- Oh, blimey.- Such a shame.

0:58:58 > 0:59:00He could've gone to Oxford and Cambridge

0:59:00 > 0:59:02and got a nice job in an office.

0:59:02 > 0:59:06He could've been a foreman, or even maybe a manager.

0:59:06 > 0:59:08ETHEL SOBS

0:59:08 > 0:59:10CLOCK TICKS QUIETLY

0:59:12 > 0:59:14There's no money in it.

0:59:14 > 0:59:17He'll never earn a living at it.

0:59:17 > 0:59:20That lot's all long hair, drink and...

0:59:20 > 0:59:22- and nude women.- Oh, Ernest!

0:59:26 > 0:59:28- RADIO:- 'It was confirmed today

0:59:28 > 0:59:31'that Russia has exploded its first atomic bomb.

0:59:31 > 0:59:34'The test took place in a remote area of Kazakhstan...'

0:59:34 > 0:59:37Russia explodes an atomic bomb.

0:59:37 > 0:59:40Oh, blimey. That's been and gawn and done it.

0:59:40 > 0:59:42Ernest, do speak properly.

0:59:47 > 0:59:48CAT MEOWS

0:59:49 > 0:59:51RAYMOND LAUGHS

0:59:55 > 1:00:00Dad, when you come home from work, why don't you wash in the bathroom?

1:00:00 > 1:00:02Blimey, son. I'm filthy, look.

1:00:02 > 1:00:04Yes, I know, but that's what the bathroom is for.

1:00:04 > 1:00:07No, I couldn't wash in the bathroom. Not in this state.

1:00:07 > 1:00:10But this is the kitchen, Dad. Mum cooks in it.

1:00:10 > 1:00:12- Ooh-ooh!- No, I couldn't, son.

1:00:12 > 1:00:15- Not in the bathroom.- Oh, Dad!

1:00:15 > 1:00:18Hello, dear. Had a good day at college?

1:00:18 > 1:00:20FOOTSTEPS THUD UPSTAIRS

1:00:20 > 1:00:22Oh, what's up with him?

1:00:22 > 1:00:24They call it adolescence, dear.

1:00:24 > 1:00:26They don't understand.

1:00:26 > 1:00:28That launderette is a godsend.

1:00:28 > 1:00:32I did the whole blessed lot for 2/9 and it's all bone dry.

1:00:32 > 1:00:35I could get an electric thermostat for the tank.

1:00:35 > 1:00:37Hot water in the summertime, all modern.

1:00:37 > 1:00:40Electric thermostat, electric fridge, electric milk float.

1:00:40 > 1:00:43My old mum and dad never knew the meaning of the word.

1:00:43 > 1:00:45- What word, duck?- Electric!

1:00:45 > 1:00:49Down home, there was nothing electric in the whole blessed house.

1:00:49 > 1:00:50We all grew up all right.

1:00:50 > 1:00:52Two of you died as children, dear.

1:00:52 > 1:00:54What's that got to do with electric?

1:00:54 > 1:00:57Well, it's progress, Ette. Scientific.

1:00:57 > 1:00:59It's scientific progress.

1:01:00 > 1:01:02Blimey, what's this?

1:01:02 > 1:01:04Meat ration to be cut by tuppence.

1:01:04 > 1:01:09That's the lowest it's ever been and six years after the end of the war!

1:01:09 > 1:01:11We had more meat under Mr Churchill.

1:01:11 > 1:01:13Yeah, all right.

1:01:13 > 1:01:16- Middle of the Blitz we had more meat.- Yes!

1:01:17 > 1:01:19- Battle of Britain...- All right!

1:01:19 > 1:01:21You can't blame Hitler now.

1:01:21 > 1:01:22No!

1:01:22 > 1:01:25Just your Labour government.

1:01:25 > 1:01:26HE SIGHS

1:01:29 > 1:01:35MUSIC: Sous Le Ciel De Paris by Edith Piaf

1:01:35 > 1:01:37- Bye, Mum!- Bye, dear.

1:01:41 > 1:01:43Have you finished your sketch?

1:01:43 > 1:01:44Just look at the pair of them.

1:01:44 > 1:01:48Her in black stockings and just look at his hair!

1:01:48 > 1:01:50Well, they're art students, dear.

1:01:50 > 1:01:52He'll grow out of it when he gets a proper job.

1:01:52 > 1:01:55He'll never get a proper job with hair like that!

1:02:03 > 1:02:05Cor blimey.

1:02:05 > 1:02:07There's a candidate here in the general election.

1:02:07 > 1:02:10Not only is she a woman, but she is 26.

1:02:10 > 1:02:12I'm old enough to be her father.

1:02:12 > 1:02:15AND she's a Tory. What is the world coming to?

1:02:15 > 1:02:18I thought your Labour believed in equal rights for everybody?

1:02:18 > 1:02:21Well, yeah, of course, but...blimey!

1:02:21 > 1:02:24She's old enough to be married, have a baby, go to work,

1:02:24 > 1:02:27drive a car, be in the Army, fly a plane in the war.

1:02:27 > 1:02:29Yeah, but...

1:02:29 > 1:02:31Blimey. I'd like to see her do MY job.

1:02:31 > 1:02:34She doesn't want your job. She wants to be an MP.

1:02:34 > 1:02:37- She's educated. - And I'm not, I suppose?

1:02:37 > 1:02:40Well, no, you're not educated, are you, dear?

1:02:40 > 1:02:41Nor am I.

1:02:41 > 1:02:43We couldn't be MPs.

1:02:45 > 1:02:46- Aw!- Oh.

1:02:46 > 1:02:48Who wants to be an MP anyway, eh?

1:02:48 > 1:02:50THEY CHUCKLE

1:02:51 > 1:02:53CROCKERY CLATTERS

1:02:53 > 1:02:57Cheese ration cut to one ounce!

1:02:57 > 1:03:01Seven years after the war - one ounce.

1:03:01 > 1:03:03It's not enough for a mousetrap.

1:03:03 > 1:03:06There's your Tory government for you, look.

1:03:06 > 1:03:08Your Mr Churchill's cheese.

1:03:08 > 1:03:11I hope you washed your hands before touching that cheese.

1:03:18 > 1:03:19It's my call-up papers.

1:03:19 > 1:03:23- ETHEL GASPS - I'm going in the Royal Corps of Signals.

1:03:23 > 1:03:25Well, don't you go and get sent to that Korean War.

1:03:25 > 1:03:27Oh, that's all over, bar the shouting.

1:03:27 > 1:03:31It isn't! Mrs Hammond's boy, Michael,

1:03:31 > 1:03:33was killed there only last week.

1:03:33 > 1:03:35Blimey. Was he?

1:03:35 > 1:03:38He used to help me on the milk round when he was a nipper.

1:03:38 > 1:03:40He was just 19.

1:03:44 > 1:03:47Then, when you come to attention...

1:03:47 > 1:03:48Attention!

1:03:48 > 1:03:50You have to slam your boot down so hard

1:03:50 > 1:03:53- the blood spurts through your lace holes.- Oh, don't, dear.

1:03:53 > 1:03:54It's true, Mum.

1:03:54 > 1:03:58- Are you going to do parachute jumping, son?- No.

1:03:58 > 1:04:00I'm going to be a draughtsman in an office.

1:04:00 > 1:04:03Oh, good. That's nice, an office.

1:04:03 > 1:04:06And thank goodness you've had a proper haircut at last.

1:04:06 > 1:04:07ERNEST LAUGHS

1:04:07 > 1:04:10Mrs Morgan's boy is going to be an officer.

1:04:10 > 1:04:13- Oh, yeah?- Don't YOU want to be an officer, dear?

1:04:13 > 1:04:16Not likely, Mum. They want head boys, team captains,

1:04:16 > 1:04:18prefects, preferably public school.

1:04:18 > 1:04:21I'm just a common little suburban grammar school oik.

1:04:21 > 1:04:24Oh, but the uniform is so much nicer, dear.

1:04:24 > 1:04:26And you could wear nice brown shoes.

1:04:26 > 1:04:29Boots - they're so common.

1:04:33 > 1:04:35RINGING TONE

1:04:37 > 1:04:39Our very own phone.

1:04:39 > 1:04:40Who'd have believed it?

1:04:40 > 1:04:43Oh, dear, what shall I do if it rings when you're out?

1:04:43 > 1:04:46Well, answer it, you daft ha'p'orth!

1:04:46 > 1:04:47I don't think I like it.

1:04:49 > 1:04:51- PHONE RINGS - Argh!

1:04:51 > 1:04:53Oh, quick, quick, quick, Ernest! It's going off!

1:04:55 > 1:04:56Ahem!

1:04:57 > 1:04:59Hello?

1:04:59 > 1:05:01Yes?

1:05:01 > 1:05:03No.

1:05:04 > 1:05:06Oh, right, goodbye.

1:05:08 > 1:05:10Wrong number, dear.

1:05:13 > 1:05:16MUSIC: Theme from Dixon Of Dock Green

1:05:23 > 1:05:25Oh, Ernest.

1:05:25 > 1:05:27It's just like the pictures.

1:05:27 > 1:05:29Yes, we might get Victor McLagen.

1:05:29 > 1:05:32- He's dead. - They could still put him on.

1:05:32 > 1:05:34Oh, I prefer Tyrone Power.

1:05:34 > 1:05:35He's more modern.

1:05:35 > 1:05:37PHONE RINGS

1:05:37 > 1:05:39Oh.

1:05:41 > 1:05:43You get it, Ernest.

1:05:47 > 1:05:49PHONE STOPS RINGING

1:05:50 > 1:05:52Oh, blessed thing!

1:05:54 > 1:05:56RAYMOND GRUNTS

1:05:57 > 1:06:01Fancy our little boy having a motorbike.

1:06:01 > 1:06:03It's a scooter, Ette.

1:06:03 > 1:06:05Lambretta. They're Italian.

1:06:05 > 1:06:08He's far too young for motorbikes.

1:06:08 > 1:06:12And I see it's back to the long hair already.

1:06:12 > 1:06:14Well, he's demobbed now, dear.

1:06:18 > 1:06:22- Cheerio, Mum!- Bye, dear! - Cheerio, Dad!- Bye, son!

1:06:31 > 1:06:33He's got three certificates now.

1:06:33 > 1:06:35Yeah, but they're only art certificates.

1:06:35 > 1:06:37They won't get him a job.

1:06:37 > 1:06:39One is from London University.

1:06:39 > 1:06:42- Yeah, I know, but...- He can put letters after his name.

1:06:42 > 1:06:44Just like a doctor.

1:06:47 > 1:06:48CAT MEOWS

1:06:48 > 1:06:50Hello, Susie.

1:06:54 > 1:06:58It says they're wanting to legalise homosexuality.

1:06:58 > 1:06:59Oh.

1:06:59 > 1:07:01What's that?

1:07:01 > 1:07:03Well, you know.

1:07:03 > 1:07:05It's like two blokes...

1:07:05 > 1:07:07only instead of with a woman,

1:07:07 > 1:07:10it's sort of with one another, like.

1:07:10 > 1:07:13I don't know what you're rambling on about, Ernest,

1:07:13 > 1:07:14and I don't think you do either.

1:07:14 > 1:07:17I'll put the kettle on, shall I, duck?

1:07:17 > 1:07:19A nice cup of tea.

1:07:19 > 1:07:21SHE TUTS

1:07:36 > 1:07:38Surprise, dear!

1:07:38 > 1:07:40- What?- Hey, presto!

1:07:40 > 1:07:43Mind, the sun will fade my loose covers.

1:07:43 > 1:07:44Look.

1:07:44 > 1:07:46What?

1:07:46 > 1:07:49- Do you see anything?- No.

1:07:49 > 1:07:51Nothing new, different?

1:07:51 > 1:07:53No.

1:07:53 > 1:07:55That green car?

1:07:55 > 1:07:56Well, what about it?

1:07:56 > 1:07:59Triumph Herald. It wasn't there yesterday.

1:07:59 > 1:08:02There's always different cars stuck outside our house nowadays.

1:08:02 > 1:08:04Well, that one is special.

1:08:04 > 1:08:06What's special about it?

1:08:06 > 1:08:08It's ours!

1:08:08 > 1:08:10Oh, don't be daft, Ernest.

1:08:10 > 1:08:12Come on, dear. Get in.

1:08:12 > 1:08:14Oh, er...

1:08:14 > 1:08:17I don't like to. I've still got my pinny on.

1:08:17 > 1:08:19- And I haven't done my hair. - Come on!

1:08:21 > 1:08:23Is it really yours?

1:08:23 > 1:08:25Ours, darling.

1:08:25 > 1:08:28Shut the door. We'll go for a spin.

1:08:28 > 1:08:29ENGINE STARTS

1:08:40 > 1:08:43I didn't know you could drive a proper car.

1:08:43 > 1:08:44HE LAUGHS

1:08:57 > 1:08:58Letter from Raymond.

1:08:58 > 1:09:02Crumbs! The average male manual worker earns

1:09:02 > 1:09:07£13, 2s and 11d a week. Blimey! I must be below average, then.

1:09:07 > 1:09:09Oh, it doesn't apply to you, Ernest.

1:09:09 > 1:09:11You're not a manual worker.

1:09:12 > 1:09:15Oh, he's going to be a teacher.

1:09:15 > 1:09:18Oh, good. That's a bit more regular.

1:09:18 > 1:09:20- It's in a college of art. - That's better.

1:09:20 > 1:09:23Thank God it's not just an art school.

1:09:23 > 1:09:25- Part time. - Well, part time is no good.

1:09:25 > 1:09:27That's more for women.

1:09:27 > 1:09:29One day a week, look.

1:09:29 > 1:09:30Blimey.

1:09:30 > 1:09:34He gets almost as much for one day as I get for the whole bloody week.

1:09:34 > 1:09:35Ernest!

1:09:36 > 1:09:39Oh, "See you on the 30th.

1:09:39 > 1:09:42"I'll be bringing...Jean with me."

1:09:44 > 1:09:48MUSIC: Little Things by Dave Berry

1:09:48 > 1:09:50Here they come, Ette.

1:09:52 > 1:09:54Hello, Mum. Dad.

1:09:54 > 1:09:56This is Jean.

1:09:56 > 1:09:58Hello, Jean.

1:09:58 > 1:10:00Hello.

1:10:00 > 1:10:01Hello, dear.

1:10:01 > 1:10:03D'oh! Look at you.

1:10:03 > 1:10:04Here's a comb.

1:10:04 > 1:10:06RAYMOND SIGHS

1:10:06 > 1:10:08Mum, I haven't seen you for a month.

1:10:08 > 1:10:10I've just brought my future wife to meet you.

1:10:10 > 1:10:12I do not want a comb!

1:10:16 > 1:10:18Right, then.

1:10:18 > 1:10:22JEAN GIGGLES I'll, um...put the kettle on.

1:10:23 > 1:10:25RAYMOND SIGHS

1:10:31 > 1:10:32Sorry, Mum.

1:10:32 > 1:10:34Oh, come and sit down, dear.

1:10:34 > 1:10:36Lovely to see you.

1:10:36 > 1:10:37And you too, Jane.

1:10:37 > 1:10:39Jean, Mum.

1:10:39 > 1:10:40I thought you'd like...

1:10:40 > 1:10:43Oh, thank you, dear.

1:10:43 > 1:10:45Whatever is it?

1:10:45 > 1:10:47- It's a bottle of wine, Mum.- Wine?!

1:10:47 > 1:10:50- Oh, dear. I don't know... - Got a corkscrew anywhere?

1:10:50 > 1:10:52Wine! Oh, dear.

1:10:54 > 1:10:57- It's all right, Mum. It won't explode.- I don't like bangs.

1:10:59 > 1:11:01Oh!

1:11:01 > 1:11:02THEY LAUGH

1:11:02 > 1:11:05- Bye, Mum. Bye, Dad. - Cheerio, son.

1:11:05 > 1:11:08I do wish you'd get a nice car, dear.

1:11:08 > 1:11:10A van is cheaper, Mum.

1:11:10 > 1:11:14- No purchase tax! - But a car is so much nicer.

1:11:16 > 1:11:18Bye!

1:11:21 > 1:11:24- She was a nice kid, wasn't she? - She didn't say much.

1:11:24 > 1:11:26She's shy. Very shy.

1:11:26 > 1:11:27Like you, sweetheart.

1:11:27 > 1:11:29Hair all over the shop.

1:11:29 > 1:11:31- Too tall. - She can't help that, dear.

1:11:31 > 1:11:34- She's all legs. - Never mind her legs, Ernest.

1:11:34 > 1:11:38She needs a perm and he needs a good haircut.

1:11:43 > 1:11:44Oh, no.

1:11:44 > 1:11:48He says they're going to get married in a registry office.

1:11:48 > 1:11:51- Well, that's the modern way, Ette. - Oh, it's horrible.

1:11:51 > 1:11:53Yes, but neither of them is religious.

1:11:53 > 1:11:55I don't want him to be religious,

1:11:55 > 1:11:57I just want him to get married in a church!

1:11:58 > 1:12:00It's so much nicer.

1:12:07 > 1:12:11And when are you going to start a family, dear?

1:12:11 > 1:12:15Well, I don't know, really, Mum. Probably not at all.

1:12:15 > 1:12:18Goodness me, whyever not? I want to be a granny.

1:12:18 > 1:12:21Well, Jean's got problems, Mum.

1:12:21 > 1:12:23Brain trouble.

1:12:23 > 1:12:25- Brain trouble?- Yeah.

1:12:25 > 1:12:29Well, that's what I call it, as a sort of joke.

1:12:29 > 1:12:32She goes in and out of the loony bin.

1:12:32 > 1:12:34You mean she's...

1:12:35 > 1:12:39- WHISPERS:- She's mental? - Yeah, well, that's one word for it.

1:12:40 > 1:12:43The other word is schizophrenia.

1:12:43 > 1:12:45Oh, dear.

1:12:45 > 1:12:46Poor thing.

1:12:50 > 1:12:53So, I won't be a granny after all.

1:12:53 > 1:12:55Never mind, Mum.

1:13:02 > 1:13:05BIRDSONG

1:13:15 > 1:13:17What a dump.

1:13:17 > 1:13:18"Dump"?!

1:13:18 > 1:13:21Mum, the Government has designated this

1:13:21 > 1:13:23an Area of Outstanding Natural Beauty,

1:13:23 > 1:13:25an AONB. It's official.

1:13:28 > 1:13:29Well, I still say it's a dump.

1:13:29 > 1:13:32The South Downs are at the end of the garden.

1:13:32 > 1:13:34I give up, I give up.

1:13:40 > 1:13:44Son, it's the sort of place I always dreamed about.

1:13:45 > 1:13:46I know, Dad.

1:13:46 > 1:13:48I know.

1:13:53 > 1:13:55CLOCK TICKS QUIETLY

1:13:57 > 1:14:01They seem very happy down there, despite the schizo business.

1:14:01 > 1:14:03Yes, I suppose so.

1:14:03 > 1:14:06I was hoping he'd send his washing home.

1:14:06 > 1:14:09Oh, Ette, don't be daft. He's married!

1:14:09 > 1:14:11- Yes, I know. - HAMMERING

1:14:11 > 1:14:13What's that?

1:14:13 > 1:14:15My retirement certificate.

1:14:15 > 1:14:1937 years' service with the Royal Arsenal Co-operative Society.

1:14:19 > 1:14:22I'm not sure I want THAT on the front room wall.

1:14:22 > 1:14:25Well, that's where it's going, Ethel.

1:14:28 > 1:14:31- RADIO:- 'That's one small step for man...

1:14:33 > 1:14:36'..one giant leap for mankind.'

1:14:37 > 1:14:38Cor blimey!

1:14:39 > 1:14:41Man on the moon, Ette.

1:14:41 > 1:14:44- Oh.- Man on the moon.

1:14:44 > 1:14:46Fantastic, eh?

1:14:46 > 1:14:48What's he doing there?

1:14:49 > 1:14:51Well, just walking about a bit.

1:14:51 > 1:14:53And then what?

1:14:53 > 1:14:55Come back, I suppose.

1:14:55 > 1:14:57Perhaps they'll have a picnic.

1:14:58 > 1:15:00That'd be nice.

1:15:00 > 1:15:04I think the tea would blow away when it came out of the thermos.

1:15:04 > 1:15:06Why? Is it windy up there?

1:15:06 > 1:15:08No, it's gravity, dear.

1:15:08 > 1:15:09Oh, I see.

1:15:09 > 1:15:14Look. He's going to pick up some pebbles to take home.

1:15:14 > 1:15:16Just like kiddies at the seaside.

1:15:19 > 1:15:20Turn it off, will you?

1:15:26 > 1:15:29CLOCK TICKS QUIETLY

1:15:34 > 1:15:37Did you have a good journey, dear?

1:15:37 > 1:15:38Oh, yes. OK, Mum.

1:15:38 > 1:15:40Fine, fine.

1:15:40 > 1:15:42Much traffic on the road?

1:15:42 > 1:15:48Well, the A23 was a bit choked up, wasn't it?

1:15:48 > 1:15:52Um, but after Sutton, it sort of thinned out a bit

1:15:52 > 1:15:54and, um, you know...

1:15:54 > 1:15:56got better.

1:15:59 > 1:16:01Here's a comb, dear.

1:16:05 > 1:16:07Thanks, Mum.

1:16:07 > 1:16:09CLOCK TICKS QUIETLY

1:16:09 > 1:16:12RAIN FALLS HEAVILY

1:16:15 > 1:16:18Remember we used to bring the pram up here?

1:16:18 > 1:16:21It's me in the pram now.

1:16:22 > 1:16:26They used to do nice teas in the balcony before the war.

1:16:26 > 1:16:29Waitresses in aprons and caps.

1:16:30 > 1:16:32We never did go, did we, dear?

1:16:32 > 1:16:34Yes. It was lovely.

1:16:36 > 1:16:39The yobbos smashed all the windows.

1:16:39 > 1:16:42Well, that's your Labour Party for you.

1:16:49 > 1:16:52FAINT MOANS

1:16:52 > 1:16:54ETHEL GASPS AND MOANS

1:16:54 > 1:16:57- Mr Briggs! Mr Briggs!- What?

1:16:57 > 1:16:59Is there a telephone? I need to call an ambulance.

1:16:59 > 1:17:01Downstairs, Doctor. Front room.

1:17:05 > 1:17:07Ethel?

1:17:07 > 1:17:09DOCTOR DIALS PHONE DOWNSTAIRS

1:17:11 > 1:17:14MUSIC: In Dulci Jubilo

1:17:20 > 1:17:23Why are they all staring at me?

1:17:26 > 1:17:29Oh, they're not staring at you, Mum. It's the television.

1:17:29 > 1:17:31They've put it right by your bed.

1:17:32 > 1:17:37I don't like them staring at me and I don't like being in Charity Ward.

1:17:37 > 1:17:39It doesn't mean charity, Mum.

1:17:39 > 1:17:41It's a girl's name.

1:17:42 > 1:17:44What's that music?

1:17:44 > 1:17:46I can hear music.

1:17:46 > 1:17:47Carols, Mum.

1:17:47 > 1:17:50On the television. It's Christmas.

1:17:50 > 1:17:52There's the tree, look.

1:17:52 > 1:17:55Oh, I hope I'll be home in time for Christmas.

1:17:56 > 1:17:59- When is it?- It was yesterday, Mum.

1:17:59 > 1:18:02You had your presents yesterday.

1:18:10 > 1:18:12Look at all your cards.

1:18:12 > 1:18:15Mm? Lovely flowers.

1:18:15 > 1:18:16Yes, lovely.

1:18:16 > 1:18:18Aren't I a lucky girl?

1:18:18 > 1:18:20HE SNIFFS

1:18:24 > 1:18:26Listen, dear.

1:18:26 > 1:18:30(Who was that old man in here just now?)

1:18:30 > 1:18:32Oh, Mum.

1:18:32 > 1:18:33That was Dad.

1:18:34 > 1:18:36Dad?

1:18:36 > 1:18:38You know. Ernest?

1:18:38 > 1:18:40Your husband.

1:18:40 > 1:18:42My husband?

1:18:42 > 1:18:43Yes.

1:18:43 > 1:18:46Not Victor McLagen?

1:18:46 > 1:18:48No, Mum.

1:18:48 > 1:18:50I thought he was dead.

1:18:53 > 1:18:55Lovely...

1:18:55 > 1:18:57lovely flowers, Mum.

1:18:57 > 1:19:00Oh, yes. Lovely.

1:19:00 > 1:19:02Aren't I a lucky girl?

1:19:10 > 1:19:13ERNEST DIALS PHONE

1:19:17 > 1:19:20RINGING TONE

1:19:20 > 1:19:21Son?

1:19:21 > 1:19:22Is that you?

1:19:22 > 1:19:24'Yes.'

1:19:24 > 1:19:26The hospital, they just phoned.

1:19:26 > 1:19:29- 'Oh, right.'- She's...

1:19:30 > 1:19:32I'm going up there.

1:19:33 > 1:19:35- 'I'll leave now.'- OK.

1:19:35 > 1:19:38- I'll see you there.- 'Bye, Dad.'

1:19:38 > 1:19:41'RAYMOND SOBS' Steady on, old son.

1:19:41 > 1:19:43Steady on.

1:20:04 > 1:20:06Why's she on a trolley?

1:20:06 > 1:20:08I don't know, son.

1:20:08 > 1:20:10Look, bloody tissues and Vim right by her face.

1:20:11 > 1:20:14They've put her teeth in all crooked.

1:20:14 > 1:20:16I know, son.

1:20:17 > 1:20:19I don't know.

1:20:25 > 1:20:27CUTLERY SCRAPES

1:20:32 > 1:20:35I still keep laying the table for two, duck.

1:20:36 > 1:20:38Daft, innit, Susie, puss?

1:20:44 > 1:20:46Nice daffs, aren't they?

1:20:48 > 1:20:51NEWS THEME MUSIC

1:20:58 > 1:21:01- NEWSREADER:- '..Retailers tell the Government they accept...'

1:21:01 > 1:21:03I'll get cocoa in a minute, dear.

1:21:03 > 1:21:07'..Employers offered to resume paying for...'

1:21:07 > 1:21:10CLOCK TICKS

1:21:13 > 1:21:16Goodnight, Susie. SUSIE MEOWS

1:21:28 > 1:21:29Argh!

1:21:29 > 1:21:30Oh!

1:21:32 > 1:21:34Argh!

1:21:34 > 1:21:35CAT MEOWS

1:21:35 > 1:21:37Aargh!

1:21:37 > 1:21:38Ohh!

1:21:47 > 1:21:49CAT MEOWS

1:21:49 > 1:21:51It's OK, Susie.

1:21:55 > 1:21:57PHONE RINGS

1:21:57 > 1:22:00HE PANTS

1:22:00 > 1:22:02WIND HOWLS

1:22:05 > 1:22:08PHONE CONTINUES RINGING

1:23:05 > 1:23:08FOOTSTEPS ON STAIRS

1:23:09 > 1:23:13I suppose I'd better get the Salvation Army to take it all away.

1:23:34 > 1:23:36I grew it from a pip.

1:23:54 > 1:23:57# I can see your shadow

1:23:59 > 1:24:02# Underneath the moon

1:24:04 > 1:24:08# Maybe a winter cloudburst

1:24:10 > 1:24:13# Heading this way soon

1:24:15 > 1:24:18# Heading this way soon

1:24:21 > 1:24:24# In the blink of an eye

1:24:24 > 1:24:26# Many songs have been sung

1:24:26 > 1:24:29# Many lives have gone by

1:24:31 > 1:24:33# We will never give up

1:24:33 > 1:24:37# We will hold on to love

1:24:37 > 1:24:39# With no reason to cry

1:24:58 > 1:25:00# In the blink of an eye

1:25:00 > 1:25:03# Many songs have been sung

1:25:03 > 1:25:06# Many lives have gone by

1:25:09 > 1:25:11# We will never give up

1:25:11 > 1:25:14# We will hold on to love

1:25:14 > 1:25:17# With no reason to cry

1:25:19 > 1:25:22# I can see your shadow

1:25:25 > 1:25:27# Underneath the moon

1:25:30 > 1:25:33# Maybe a winter cloudburst

1:25:35 > 1:25:38# Heading this way soon. #