0:00:52 > 0:00:56ALARM CLOCK RINGS
0:01:05 > 0:01:06That will make you think.
0:02:48 > 0:02:50Stay there!
0:02:59 > 0:03:01SHE GASPS
0:03:09 > 0:03:11THUNDER RUMBLES
0:03:19 > 0:03:20Thank you.
0:03:29 > 0:03:30May I walk with you?
0:03:32 > 0:03:33Fine.
0:03:42 > 0:03:43Good morning, ladies and gentlemen.
0:03:43 > 0:03:45- ALL:- Good morning, sir!
0:03:45 > 0:03:47We have a visitor...this morning.
0:03:49 > 0:03:51Er... Your coat.
0:03:56 > 0:03:58Have a seat there.
0:04:00 > 0:04:04I am afraid there was a slight mishap on the way here.
0:04:04 > 0:04:08I think the corrections will still be legible.
0:04:08 > 0:04:10Max, would you do the honours?
0:04:11 > 0:04:14More work required there.
0:04:14 > 0:04:19No opportunity to honour and respect yourself.
0:04:19 > 0:04:24But Marcus Aurelius was both philosopher and an emperor.
0:04:24 > 0:04:27There's no coincidence, that was the way with the Romans.
0:04:27 > 0:04:31Thought and action were all one.
0:04:31 > 0:04:34I think we were chapter 12, page 42.
0:04:47 > 0:04:51Er... Natalie, perhaps you'd...begin?
0:04:51 > 0:04:55"How can it be that the Gods...
0:04:55 > 0:04:59"overlooked this alone
0:04:59 > 0:05:01"that some lost men...
0:05:01 > 0:05:04"and those very good men,
0:05:04 > 0:05:07"who have had the most...?"
0:05:07 > 0:05:10"Intercourse with the divine."
0:05:11 > 0:05:13Uh, just keep on going.
0:05:53 > 0:05:57"If it is so that we live only a small part of the life
0:05:57 > 0:06:00"that is within us, what happens to the rest?"
0:06:11 > 0:06:13Ah, Mr Gregorius.
0:06:13 > 0:06:17I am afraid your book on Persian grammar has yet to arrive.
0:06:17 > 0:06:19Uh, no, that's not why I came...
0:06:19 > 0:06:21Do you know that book?
0:06:21 > 0:06:24Indeed. I sold it to someone yesterday.
0:06:24 > 0:06:25A woman?
0:06:25 > 0:06:29Yes. She came in, asked for the Portuguese section,
0:06:29 > 0:06:31found this book, sat there,
0:06:31 > 0:06:35read it for an hour or so then became rather upset,
0:06:35 > 0:06:37paid for the book and left.
0:06:37 > 0:06:38How did you come by?
0:06:38 > 0:06:40I found it.
0:06:40 > 0:06:42Beautiful title.
0:06:42 > 0:06:45"Um Ourives Das Palavras"
0:06:45 > 0:06:46"A Goldsmith Of Words."
0:06:51 > 0:06:52Train tickets.
0:06:53 > 0:06:57- Where to?- Lisbon, eventually.
0:06:58 > 0:07:00Leaving in 15 minutes.
0:07:02 > 0:07:05- Thank you. - She was wearing that coat!
0:07:15 > 0:07:16- OVER TANNOY:- Attention please.
0:07:16 > 0:07:20Line ten on platform eight is now leaving...
0:07:22 > 0:07:24What is all this noise?
0:07:26 > 0:07:29- Where is Mr Gregorius? - He left, Mr Kagi.
0:07:29 > 0:07:31He left?
0:07:31 > 0:07:35- There was a woman with him here. - LAUGHTER
0:07:35 > 0:07:36Impossible.
0:07:36 > 0:07:39PHONE RINGS
0:08:13 > 0:08:15"We live here and now.
0:08:15 > 0:08:19"Everything before and in other places is past,"
0:08:19 > 0:08:22"mostly forgotten." PHONE RINGS
0:08:29 > 0:08:32- Hello.- This is Mr Kagi. Where are you?
0:08:34 > 0:08:37- I'm on a train.- A train?
0:08:37 > 0:08:40- Where to?- Lisbon.
0:08:41 > 0:08:44(Would you take care of my books? I left them on my desk.)
0:08:51 > 0:08:54"What could, what should be done...
0:08:54 > 0:08:57"with all the time that lies ahead of us,
0:08:57 > 0:08:59"open and unshaped,
0:08:59 > 0:09:02"feather-light in its freedom
0:09:02 > 0:09:05"and lead-heavy in its uncertainty?
0:09:06 > 0:09:07"Is it a wish?"
0:09:08 > 0:09:11"Dream-like and nostalgic,
0:09:11 > 0:09:16"to stand once again at that point in life..."
0:09:16 > 0:09:19"and be able to take a completely different direction
0:09:19 > 0:09:22"to the one that has made us who we are?"
0:09:26 > 0:09:29CAR HORN BLARES
0:09:39 > 0:09:41CHATTER
0:09:41 > 0:09:43DOG BARKS
0:10:07 > 0:10:09HE SPEAKS PORTUGESE Do you have a room?
0:10:11 > 0:10:14- Where is your luggage? - I don't have any.- Ah.
0:10:16 > 0:10:18I will trust you and give you a room...
0:10:19 > 0:10:21..with a view of the sea.
0:10:28 > 0:10:30There, the sea.
0:10:33 > 0:10:36- Anything else, sir?- Yes
0:10:36 > 0:10:39I want to find the address of the man who wrote this.
0:10:44 > 0:10:45Thank you.
0:10:47 > 0:10:49- Anything else?- No, thank you.
0:11:26 > 0:11:28Good morning, I am looking for Amadeu de Prado.
0:11:30 > 0:11:31One moment.
0:11:48 > 0:11:50I believe you are looking for my brother?
0:11:50 > 0:11:54Yes. Is the doctor in?
0:11:54 > 0:11:55Are you ill?
0:11:55 > 0:11:58No, I'm... I am reading this book.
0:11:58 > 0:12:01I'd very much like to meet him.
0:12:01 > 0:12:04What he writes touches me very deeply.
0:12:07 > 0:12:09You should come inside.
0:12:11 > 0:12:13You may sit.
0:12:14 > 0:12:18Some tea? Red Assam is Amadeu's preference.
0:12:18 > 0:12:20Thank you.
0:12:20 > 0:12:23SHE RINGS BELL
0:12:23 > 0:12:24Tea, Clotilde.
0:12:25 > 0:12:28This is Amadeu's favourite room.
0:12:29 > 0:12:30It's a beautiful room.
0:12:32 > 0:12:34He has read every one of those books.
0:12:39 > 0:12:41Does he still practice as a doctor?
0:12:42 > 0:12:44Where did you get it?
0:12:44 > 0:12:47I came across it in Bern, where I live.
0:12:47 > 0:12:50Only 100 were ever printed.
0:12:50 > 0:12:52I have six copies left.
0:12:55 > 0:12:58I often wondered where the other 94 went.
0:13:02 > 0:13:06- Bern is in Switzerland, is it not?- Yes.
0:13:06 > 0:13:10And the book has travelled? That is a good thing.
0:13:13 > 0:13:17- Has he written anything else? - Nothing that has been published.
0:13:18 > 0:13:21He wanted to be a writer, a philosopher...
0:13:22 > 0:13:25..then he decided to become a doctor.
0:13:25 > 0:13:27He didn't believe people should be in pain.
0:13:31 > 0:13:33- Is that him?- That is our father.
0:13:35 > 0:13:38- He was a famous judge. - So I gather, from the book.
0:13:38 > 0:13:42He and Amadeu had a rather complicated relationship.
0:13:42 > 0:13:44"Consider from the standpoint of eternity,
0:13:44 > 0:13:47"that rather loses its significance."
0:13:47 > 0:13:48Yes.
0:13:49 > 0:13:53- He often said that to Amadeu. - Amadeu does not believe in eternity.
0:13:54 > 0:13:56Unfortunately not.
0:13:57 > 0:13:59I don't mean to pry, but...
0:14:01 > 0:14:04..may I ask how your father died?
0:14:04 > 0:14:06No. No, you may not.
0:14:12 > 0:14:17(If you want to see Amadeu...you will find him in Cemetery Prazeres.)
0:14:24 > 0:14:27- MAN'S VOICE:- "We leave something of ourselves behind
0:14:27 > 0:14:29"when we leave a place.
0:14:30 > 0:14:34"We stay there, even though we go away.
0:14:35 > 0:14:37"And there are things in us
0:14:37 > 0:14:41"that we can find again only by going back there.
0:14:42 > 0:14:46"We travel to our souls when we go to a place
0:14:46 > 0:14:49"that we have covered a stretch of our life...
0:14:50 > 0:14:53"..no matter how brief it may have been.
0:14:54 > 0:14:59"But by travelling to ourselves, we must confront our own loneliness.
0:15:01 > 0:15:03"And isn't it so that everything we do
0:15:03 > 0:15:05"is done out of fear of loneliness?
0:15:08 > 0:15:10"Isn't that why we renounce
0:15:10 > 0:15:13"all the things we will regret at the end of our life?"
0:15:19 > 0:15:23Excuse me. I am looking for Amadeu de Almeida Prado.
0:15:25 > 0:15:27- Prado.- Thank you.
0:15:36 > 0:15:43"When dictatorship is a fact, revolution is a duty."
0:15:57 > 0:15:59HE SCREAMS
0:16:00 > 0:16:03Bloody idiot!
0:16:15 > 0:16:17HE GROANS
0:16:19 > 0:16:22"Is it ultimately a question of self-image,
0:16:22 > 0:16:25"the determining idea one has made for oneself
0:16:25 > 0:16:28"of what one has to have accomplished and experienced
0:16:28 > 0:16:31"so that one can approve of the life one has lived?"
0:16:33 > 0:16:34"If this is the case,
0:16:34 > 0:16:37"the fear of death might be described
0:16:37 > 0:16:41"as the fear of not being able to become whom one planned to be.
0:16:43 > 0:16:45"If the certainty befalls us that it will
0:16:45 > 0:16:48"never be achieved, this wholeness,
0:16:48 > 0:16:52"we suddenly don't know how to live the time
0:16:52 > 0:16:55"that can no longer be part of a whole life."
0:17:06 > 0:17:07Better?
0:17:09 > 0:17:10Or worse?
0:17:11 > 0:17:13Better.
0:17:13 > 0:17:15You feel as if you wrote the book yourself.
0:17:15 > 0:17:16I would have liked to have done.
0:17:16 > 0:17:21He talks about everything that's preoccupied me for years.
0:17:21 > 0:17:23Better or worse?
0:17:24 > 0:17:25Worse.
0:17:26 > 0:17:29Tell me one of these beautiful sentences you read.
0:17:29 > 0:17:34"The real director of life is accident,
0:17:34 > 0:17:36"a director full of cruelty,
0:17:36 > 0:17:39"compassion and bewitching charm."
0:17:39 > 0:17:40By accident, he means fate?
0:17:40 > 0:17:44No, I think he means chance, randomness chance.
0:17:44 > 0:17:47Let's take a break, rest your eyes for a moment.
0:17:49 > 0:17:51You are a man who does not sleep well.
0:17:51 > 0:17:53- You can tell? - The eyes reveal everything.
0:17:55 > 0:17:57Look at these eyes.
0:17:58 > 0:18:01Tell me what they reveal.
0:18:01 > 0:18:03They're melancholic, but hopeful.
0:18:03 > 0:18:05Tired, but persistent.
0:18:05 > 0:18:07Contradictory.
0:18:07 > 0:18:10Why would his sister pretend that he was still alive?
0:18:10 > 0:18:12I have no idea. Shall we resume?
0:18:12 > 0:18:13Oh.
0:18:22 > 0:18:25So you met a woman in a red coat, who disappeared,
0:18:25 > 0:18:28- and you just dropped everything? - Then I read the book.
0:18:29 > 0:18:32I would love to be able to do that, just drop everything.
0:18:32 > 0:18:35- You do that often?- No, I've never done anything like that before.
0:18:35 > 0:18:37Better or worse?
0:18:37 > 0:18:39Uh, better.
0:18:40 > 0:18:43How does that feel?
0:18:43 > 0:18:45You talk about seeing as feeling.
0:18:45 > 0:18:48- Well, isn't it?- I suppose it is.
0:18:48 > 0:18:50- How clear is it - the image? - Very clear.
0:18:52 > 0:18:53And how about this?
0:18:57 > 0:18:58Everything is in focus.
0:19:06 > 0:19:09Sir, we have this new one here.
0:19:12 > 0:19:14"The decisive moment of life,
0:19:14 > 0:19:17"when its direction changes forever,
0:19:17 > 0:19:20"are not always marked by loud and shrill dramatics.
0:19:21 > 0:19:26"In truth, the dramatic moments of a life-determining experience
0:19:26 > 0:19:28"are often unbelievably low-key."
0:19:30 > 0:19:33"When it unfolds, its revolutionary effect
0:19:33 > 0:19:37"and ensures that a life is revealed in a brand-new light,
0:19:37 > 0:19:39"it does that silently.
0:19:41 > 0:19:46"And in this wonderful silence resides its special nobility."
0:19:47 > 0:19:49Now you wonder if the old pair were better.
0:19:49 > 0:19:51- Yes.- But they are not, are they?
0:19:54 > 0:19:56No. They feel very light.
0:19:56 > 0:19:59Getting used to them will take some time.
0:19:59 > 0:20:00Do you take credit cards?
0:20:00 > 0:20:03You can sort all that out with my receptionist.
0:20:04 > 0:20:06Before you go...
0:20:06 > 0:20:07I have an uncle.
0:20:07 > 0:20:10He lives in a nursing home across the Tejo.
0:20:10 > 0:20:13I called him last night and told him about you and the book.
0:20:13 > 0:20:15He knew Amadeu de Prado well.
0:20:15 > 0:20:18I told him you want to know about Amadeu
0:20:18 > 0:20:20and he said he'd talk to you.
0:20:20 > 0:20:22He was in the resistance.
0:20:23 > 0:20:27I must warn you, my uncle can be difficult.
0:20:27 > 0:20:29In what way?
0:20:29 > 0:20:32The generation that lived under the dictator Salazar
0:20:32 > 0:20:36is still battling to come to terms with what happened.
0:20:36 > 0:20:40When the resistance began, the secret police were extremely brutal.
0:20:40 > 0:20:43To this day, people don't like talking about it,
0:20:43 > 0:20:46the perpetrators as well as their victims.
0:20:54 > 0:20:56Uncle Joao, how are you?
0:20:56 > 0:20:58What are you doing here?
0:20:58 > 0:21:01This is the man I was telling you about, Raimund Gregorius -
0:21:01 > 0:21:03- I brought him. - I said I'd talk to him, not you.
0:21:03 > 0:21:05- But...- You can wait in reception.
0:21:05 > 0:21:07We go to the lounge.
0:21:14 > 0:21:18So, you are interested in Amadeu de Prado?
0:21:18 > 0:21:19Yes.
0:21:20 > 0:21:23Mariana tells me you have a book he wrote.
0:21:23 > 0:21:24- Would you like to see it?- No.
0:21:24 > 0:21:27I can imagine what it is like.
0:21:27 > 0:21:28The godless priest.
0:21:30 > 0:21:32That's a good description.
0:21:33 > 0:21:36He was the only visitor they allowed me in prison.
0:21:37 > 0:21:39'Every week he visits,
0:21:39 > 0:21:43'with books and medicines, and cigarettes...
0:21:43 > 0:21:47'which, of course, they take away the moment he leaves.'
0:21:48 > 0:21:51Yeah, he had privileges.
0:21:52 > 0:21:55- What sort of privileges? - The kind you don't want in life.
0:21:58 > 0:22:01- Do you have cigarette? - No, sorry, I don't smoke.
0:22:01 > 0:22:02Pity.
0:22:06 > 0:22:11Mariana tells me that you and Amadeu were in the resistance.
0:22:11 > 0:22:14- And Jorge, his best friend.- Oh, yes, he writes a lot about Jorge.
0:22:14 > 0:22:17They were joined at the heart and the soul...
0:22:17 > 0:22:19for a time.
0:22:19 > 0:22:24But Amadeu, he was too soft for the resistance.
0:22:24 > 0:22:27He only joined because he feel guilty.
0:22:29 > 0:22:32Mariana tells me you are from Switzerland.
0:22:32 > 0:22:33Yes, Bern.
0:22:34 > 0:22:37There was never a revolution in Switzerland, was there?
0:22:37 > 0:22:42No. Somehow they've always managed to avoid such things.
0:22:42 > 0:22:45They won't know what it's like to live without trusting,
0:22:45 > 0:22:49never to trust your friends or family.
0:22:50 > 0:22:53I met his sister, Adriana.
0:22:53 > 0:22:57She... She acts as if he is still alive
0:22:57 > 0:22:59and she wears black, as is if in mourning.
0:23:12 > 0:23:15You can only fill my cup halfway.
0:23:29 > 0:23:32No-one has ever done that for me before.
0:23:45 > 0:23:49- Yeah... - HE CHUCKLES
0:23:49 > 0:23:55A gift from PIDE, the Portuguese Secret Police.
0:23:55 > 0:24:00Rui Lus Mendes was his name.
0:24:00 > 0:24:031973...
0:24:03 > 0:24:04in the springtime.
0:24:16 > 0:24:17I'm home.
0:24:26 > 0:24:27Who are you?
0:24:28 > 0:24:30Where's my wife?
0:24:30 > 0:24:33She kindly took your children for a walk.
0:24:35 > 0:24:38This woman that knows all the names,
0:24:38 > 0:24:40where do I find her?
0:24:40 > 0:24:41I do not know.
0:24:43 > 0:24:45I do not know what you are talking about.
0:24:48 > 0:24:51Your wife tells me you are an excellent pianist.
0:24:52 > 0:24:56Will you play for me...and my friends?
0:24:58 > 0:24:59Please.
0:25:11 > 0:25:13Can I see you hands, please?
0:25:38 > 0:25:41- What should I play? - Play us your favourite.
0:25:44 > 0:25:47HE PLAYS PIANO
0:25:56 > 0:25:58They say she has a photographic memory.
0:26:00 > 0:26:01Is that true?
0:26:07 > 0:26:09HE GROANS
0:26:19 > 0:26:22I ask you once more, where is she?
0:26:25 > 0:26:27HE GROANS
0:26:36 > 0:26:38HE SCREAMS
0:26:43 > 0:26:45What made it all that more terrible
0:26:45 > 0:26:48was that someone said,
0:26:48 > 0:26:52"Amadeu, he saved Mendes' life."
0:26:54 > 0:26:57BELL RINGS
0:26:57 > 0:27:02Dinnertime. They-they serve us early here, like in prison.
0:27:02 > 0:27:05Not for the inmates, you understand, but for the staff.
0:27:07 > 0:27:11I'm glad he's finally been able to tell someone about it.
0:27:12 > 0:27:15I just wish it had been me.
0:27:15 > 0:27:18It is often easier to speak to a stranger.
0:27:19 > 0:27:21With my family, it's a bit different.
0:27:21 > 0:27:25Pain is something we pretend happens to other people.
0:27:26 > 0:27:28When Uncle Joao disappeared,
0:27:28 > 0:27:32our parents told us he had gone to Brazil to work.
0:27:32 > 0:27:35Then, after the Revolution, when he was released,
0:27:35 > 0:27:38they told us he'd had an accident with his hands.
0:27:40 > 0:27:42- He is very fond of you.- He is?
0:27:44 > 0:27:46He said you are the only one from the family who ever visits.
0:27:46 > 0:27:50He is always so grumpy, I don't blame the others.
0:27:50 > 0:27:52- What else did he say? - He said he wished you were married.
0:27:52 > 0:27:55- SHE GASPS - I hate him!
0:27:57 > 0:27:59Then, when you visited, there'd be children.
0:28:00 > 0:28:03He actually said that? That he's fond of me?
0:28:09 > 0:28:10Do you have children?
0:28:10 > 0:28:14No. I have my students...
0:28:14 > 0:28:17but the faces change every year, so I try not to get too fond of them.
0:28:37 > 0:28:39I think now you are staying another day.
0:28:41 > 0:28:43Yes, I might have to.
0:28:43 > 0:28:44Nice glasses.
0:29:35 > 0:29:37Father Bartolomeu?
0:29:37 > 0:29:39Yes.
0:29:39 > 0:29:44Joao Eca tells me that you buried Amadeu de Prado.
0:29:45 > 0:29:50I would prefer to be remembered at the man who taught Amadeu,
0:29:50 > 0:29:52not the one who buried him.
0:29:54 > 0:29:58Amadeu was 12 years old when he first came to the school.
0:29:58 > 0:30:01He came with no bag, no books.
0:30:01 > 0:30:03He had read them all, you see.
0:30:03 > 0:30:05Everything was in his head.
0:30:07 > 0:30:11What does he say about the school in his book?
0:30:19 > 0:30:21"For 1,922 days,
0:30:21 > 0:30:25"I attended the Liceu, where my Father sent me,
0:30:25 > 0:30:28"the strictest school in the whole country.
0:30:28 > 0:30:30"By the third day I, realised I had to count the days
0:30:30 > 0:30:33"so as not to be crushed by it."
0:30:35 > 0:30:37He hated it that much?
0:30:40 > 0:30:43Were Jorge and Amadeu in the same class?
0:30:43 > 0:30:45Uh, no, not at first.
0:30:45 > 0:30:50Amadeu skipped two grades.
0:30:50 > 0:30:52He was that bright, you see.
0:30:52 > 0:30:55And for two years, they were in the same class.
0:30:55 > 0:30:59Or I should say, they were in a class of their own.
0:30:59 > 0:31:01Amadeu, the aristocrat,
0:31:01 > 0:31:03and Jorge, the working class boy.
0:31:03 > 0:31:07They had a very noted curiosity, those two.
0:31:07 > 0:31:09They would lie to their mothers
0:31:09 > 0:31:13that they were going to spend the night at a friend's house.
0:31:13 > 0:31:15Instead, they came here.
0:31:24 > 0:31:25How did you find them, Jorge?
0:31:25 > 0:31:28I was sleeping here, then I found the floor was loose.
0:31:31 > 0:31:34- Jean-Paul Sartre.- Karl Marx.
0:31:34 > 0:31:36Henry Miller.
0:31:36 > 0:31:38My God, if we found these books...
0:31:38 > 0:31:40We would end up in Tarrafal,
0:31:40 > 0:31:43along with all the other political prisoners.
0:31:43 > 0:31:45But your father would never allow that, would he, Amadeu?
0:31:45 > 0:31:48He would get Grand Minister Salazar personally intervene
0:31:48 > 0:31:51and have the case thrown out of court.
0:31:51 > 0:31:53You think it is a joke my father is a judge?
0:31:53 > 0:31:55I think it is a joke that the son of a green grocer
0:31:55 > 0:31:59is friends with the son of a judge. That is funny.
0:31:59 > 0:32:01HE LAUGHS
0:32:01 > 0:32:02You have to admit!
0:32:06 > 0:32:10Amadeu would have been unhappy wherever he was.
0:32:12 > 0:32:14He never played games with the other boys.
0:32:15 > 0:32:17He never let himself go...
0:32:19 > 0:32:22..except one time.
0:32:24 > 0:32:26Nobody forgot that time.
0:32:30 > 0:32:32Make room there, boys. Make room.
0:32:51 > 0:32:54- My father is here.- Of course he's here. What did you expect?
0:32:54 > 0:32:56You should read this, Jorge. You wrote most of them anyway.
0:32:56 > 0:33:00They are your words - I only helped you choose them.
0:33:00 > 0:33:03- Amadeu, which is our religion? - Loyalty.
0:33:03 > 0:33:05What are our values?
0:33:05 > 0:33:08Truth...above all else.
0:33:08 > 0:33:10Exactly. Just keep your eyes on me and you'll be fine.
0:33:13 > 0:33:14As is traditional,
0:33:14 > 0:33:19we end our ceremony with a grade 12's graduation speech.
0:33:19 > 0:33:22In this year, that honour will be bestow
0:33:22 > 0:33:25to Amadeu de Almeida Prado.
0:33:25 > 0:33:27APPLAUSE
0:33:52 > 0:33:55I would not like to live in a world without cathedrals.
0:33:56 > 0:33:57I need their beauty and grandeur
0:33:57 > 0:34:00against the dirty colours of military uniforms.
0:34:03 > 0:34:05I love the powerful words of the Bible.
0:34:06 > 0:34:08I need the force of its poetry.
0:34:09 > 0:34:13I need it against the decay of language
0:34:13 > 0:34:15and the dictatorship of worthless slogans.
0:34:19 > 0:34:21But there is another world I do not wish to live in...
0:34:23 > 0:34:26..a world in which independent thinking is disparaged
0:34:26 > 0:34:30and the finest things we can experience denounced as sin.
0:34:30 > 0:34:32A world in which our love
0:34:32 > 0:34:36is demanded by tyrants, oppressors and assassins.
0:34:37 > 0:34:40And, most absurdly, people are exhorted from the pulpit
0:34:40 > 0:34:44to forgive these creatures and even to love them.
0:34:46 > 0:34:50It is for this reason we cannot just put the Bible aside -
0:34:50 > 0:34:52we have to throw it away completely -
0:34:52 > 0:34:55for it speaks only of a vain, holier-than-thou God.
0:34:57 > 0:35:01In his omnipresence, the Lord observes us, day and night.
0:35:01 > 0:35:03He takes note of our acts and thoughts,
0:35:03 > 0:35:07but what is a man without secrets?
0:35:07 > 0:35:10Without thoughts and wishes that he, and he alone, knows?
0:35:11 > 0:35:13Does the Lord our God not consider
0:35:13 > 0:35:16He's stealing our soul with his unbridled curiosity,
0:35:16 > 0:35:18a soul that should be immortal?
0:35:20 > 0:35:23But who would, in all seriousness, want to be immortal?
0:35:23 > 0:35:25How boring to know that what happens today,
0:35:25 > 0:35:28this month, this year, does not matter?
0:35:28 > 0:35:30Nothing would count.
0:35:31 > 0:35:34No-one here knows what it would be like to live eternally
0:35:34 > 0:35:37and it's a blessing we never will.
0:35:38 > 0:35:40One thing I can assure you,
0:35:40 > 0:35:45it would be hell, this endless paradise of immortality.
0:35:45 > 0:35:51It is death and only death that gives each moment beauty and horror.
0:35:51 > 0:35:54Only through death is time a living thing.
0:35:54 > 0:35:57Why does the Lord not know this?
0:35:57 > 0:35:59Why does He threaten us with an...endlessness
0:35:59 > 0:36:01that can only be unbearably desolate?
0:36:07 > 0:36:10I would not want to live in a world without cathedrals.
0:36:10 > 0:36:13I need the lustre of their windows...
0:36:13 > 0:36:16their cool stillness, their imperious silence.
0:36:18 > 0:36:22I need the holiness of words, the grandeur of great poetry,
0:36:22 > 0:36:26but just as much I need the freedom
0:36:26 > 0:36:30to rebel against everything that is cruel in this world,
0:36:30 > 0:36:32for the one is nothing without the other.
0:36:32 > 0:36:34And no-one may force me to choose.
0:36:40 > 0:36:44APPLAUSE
0:37:18 > 0:37:19What did you think?
0:37:21 > 0:37:25I thought you would deliver a speech in Latin.
0:37:26 > 0:37:29But then only a very few would have understood it.
0:37:39 > 0:37:41Are you friends with that boy?
0:37:42 > 0:37:44We are the best of friends.
0:37:49 > 0:37:51All of those faces, and more...
0:37:53 > 0:37:55..came to his funeral.
0:37:55 > 0:37:58He died on the day of the Revolution...
0:37:59 > 0:38:02..and so they all brought red carnations.
0:38:04 > 0:38:07I dare not speak any words about God
0:38:07 > 0:38:13after what Amadeu called "His empty promises",
0:38:13 > 0:38:17but I did allow myself one religious word.
0:38:20 > 0:38:21Amen.
0:38:21 > 0:38:22- ALL:- Amen.
0:38:36 > 0:38:38I was very proud of him.
0:38:39 > 0:38:41Then why did you never tell him, Papa?
0:39:24 > 0:39:30To this day, I never found out what secret bound those two together
0:39:30 > 0:39:32and what it had to do with Amadeu.
0:39:41 > 0:39:44- My brother is not here.- I know.
0:39:45 > 0:39:51- Go away.- I know what happened - he had an aneurysm.
0:39:51 > 0:39:52It's in the book.
0:39:54 > 0:39:55How do you live with that?
0:39:55 > 0:39:59Knowing, at any time, blood vessel could burst,
0:39:59 > 0:40:01flooding your brain with blood?
0:40:03 > 0:40:06I only found out after, when I discovered his writings.
0:40:08 > 0:40:10He never told anyone...
0:40:11 > 0:40:13..not even me.
0:40:13 > 0:40:16I am sorry. I didn't mean to upset you.
0:40:17 > 0:40:18No, wait.
0:40:21 > 0:40:23Let me show you where we worked.
0:40:32 > 0:40:34People came, day and night...
0:40:36 > 0:40:37..to see him...
0:40:38 > 0:40:39..to be healed.
0:40:41 > 0:40:44No-one should be in pain, he always used to say.
0:40:45 > 0:40:47The door was always open.
0:40:51 > 0:40:53I met Joao Eca.
0:40:55 > 0:40:59He mentioned that Amadeu was in the resistance...
0:40:59 > 0:41:02(Ha. The resistance.)
0:41:05 > 0:41:08And that he saved Mendes' life.
0:41:16 > 0:41:19It was late in the evening.
0:41:22 > 0:41:24There were terrible shouts...
0:41:26 > 0:41:27..across the square.
0:41:29 > 0:41:32SHOUTING
0:41:39 > 0:41:42CAR HORN BLARES The Police!
0:41:51 > 0:41:53We need help!
0:41:59 > 0:42:00Get the doctor.
0:42:02 > 0:42:04In there!
0:42:11 > 0:42:14Amadeu, you need to come, now.
0:42:24 > 0:42:26Is this...?
0:42:34 > 0:42:36Out. Out!
0:42:53 > 0:42:54Adriana.
0:42:54 > 0:42:57SHOUTING OUTSIDE
0:43:45 > 0:43:48You're a traitor. Traitor!
0:43:48 > 0:43:49Traitor.
0:43:52 > 0:43:54- You are a traitor!- I'm a doctor.
0:43:54 > 0:43:56- ALL:- You're a traitor!
0:43:56 > 0:43:58You hear me? A doctor!
0:43:58 > 0:44:00- ALL:- You are a traitor!
0:44:28 > 0:44:31We sat him down in this very chair and washed his face.
0:44:32 > 0:44:34His beautiful face.
0:44:36 > 0:44:40After that, people stopped coming...even Jorge.
0:44:40 > 0:44:41That really hurt him.
0:44:44 > 0:44:45Do you know of Jorge?
0:44:45 > 0:44:47I know they were great friends.
0:44:49 > 0:44:52- Why is the world so cruel? - I often ask myself that.
0:44:52 > 0:44:55- It is if it doesn't care. - God doesn't care.
0:44:57 > 0:44:59Amadeu was right about that.
0:45:03 > 0:45:05I would like to be alone now.
0:45:07 > 0:45:10- May I call on you again?- Why?
0:45:12 > 0:45:15His life, his world, was...
0:45:17 > 0:45:20..extraordinary. Makes mine seem so insignificant.
0:45:26 > 0:45:29- Do you have cigarettes?- Which brand? - Um...
0:45:49 > 0:45:51You brought them?
0:45:51 > 0:45:52No, wait, wait.
0:45:52 > 0:45:56Everyone here is a spy - worse than the damn fascists.
0:45:56 > 0:45:57We go outside.
0:46:00 > 0:46:02You didn't telephone me just to get cigarettes.
0:46:02 > 0:46:03I called because...
0:46:03 > 0:46:06talking to you makes me sleep better last night.
0:46:11 > 0:46:13Amadeu, he never smoked -
0:46:13 > 0:46:15he's the only one who didn't.
0:46:15 > 0:46:17Jorge, he smoked like a chimney.
0:46:31 > 0:46:34- Jorge...is he still alive? - I don't know.
0:46:36 > 0:46:41I never talked to him after what happened with Estefania.
0:46:41 > 0:46:43No-one knew how to.
0:46:43 > 0:46:45It was too personal.
0:46:46 > 0:46:48Who is Estefania?
0:46:49 > 0:46:52The woman who remembered everything.
0:46:52 > 0:46:55That's why they picked me up, to get to her.
0:46:58 > 0:47:00Lieutenant Nicholas Ribeiro.
0:47:02 > 0:47:07Benfica. 28 December.
0:47:07 > 0:47:11Telephone, 857-2463.
0:47:13 > 0:47:157th Article.
0:47:19 > 0:47:21Captain Carlos Peixe.
0:47:23 > 0:47:25Sintra, 47 Rua... CAR APPROACHES
0:47:25 > 0:47:27Sh!
0:47:39 > 0:47:42KNOCK ON DOOR Jorge!
0:47:42 > 0:47:44- Is that Amadeu de Prado?- Jorge!
0:47:45 > 0:47:50- Are you in there?- Let him in. - KNOCKING CONTINUES
0:48:00 > 0:48:02Why have you been avoiding me?
0:48:02 > 0:48:04Everyone else I can understand, but you?
0:48:04 > 0:48:06I am not avoiding you.
0:48:06 > 0:48:09- You are lying, Jorge. We do not lie to each other!- Shh!
0:48:22 > 0:48:25I want to join the resistance.
0:48:25 > 0:48:26Because of guilt?
0:48:28 > 0:48:30As a doctor, I had no choice.
0:48:30 > 0:48:34As a doctor, you should have injected poison into his heart,
0:48:34 > 0:48:36not adrenaline.
0:48:41 > 0:48:43Sit, Amadeu.
0:48:53 > 0:48:56Aren't you going to introduce me to your friends?
0:48:56 > 0:48:57This is Joao.
0:49:00 > 0:49:03And this is Estefania.
0:49:06 > 0:49:08I was going to introduce you sooner, but...
0:49:08 > 0:49:10The resistance keeps us busy.
0:49:11 > 0:49:13Isn't she beautiful?
0:49:22 > 0:49:25What if you first assignment was to kill your father?
0:49:35 > 0:49:37- Why?- Because he is a judge...
0:49:38 > 0:49:40..part of the fascist regime.
0:49:52 > 0:49:56Don't be upset, Amadeu. I was just testing you.
0:49:59 > 0:50:03You knew it, straight away. Even Jorge would see it.
0:50:04 > 0:50:08Estefania, she was completely drawn to him.
0:50:11 > 0:50:13And the names and addresses?
0:50:13 > 0:50:17Members of the armed forces sympathetic to our cause.
0:50:17 > 0:50:20She had them stock piled in her head,
0:50:20 > 0:50:23more than 200 names,
0:50:23 > 0:50:28waiting for the day we call them, to rise up against the fascists.
0:50:35 > 0:50:38PHONE RINGS
0:50:48 > 0:50:50- Can I have my key, please? - Of course, sir.
0:51:15 > 0:51:16Is Miss de Prado at home?
0:51:16 > 0:51:19She asked for you to wait, if you come.
0:51:30 > 0:51:32Why you bring back the past?
0:51:33 > 0:51:36I want to know how it felt to be Amadeu.
0:51:37 > 0:51:39Did you know him?
0:51:48 > 0:51:51Amadeu, you must eat.
0:51:51 > 0:51:54You need to be strong for your final exams.
0:52:03 > 0:52:06SHE CHOKES
0:52:13 > 0:52:15Stand up.
0:52:22 > 0:52:23Sit down.
0:52:23 > 0:52:24Momma, come help me.
0:52:29 > 0:52:31I have to do this, otherwise you will die.
0:52:31 > 0:52:33Take your hands away.
0:52:34 > 0:52:36Adriana, trust me.
0:53:03 > 0:53:05AIR HISSES
0:53:06 > 0:53:08Clotilde, call an ambulance!
0:53:10 > 0:53:13The ambulance and the doctor came
0:53:13 > 0:53:15and Adriana was rushed to hospital.
0:53:22 > 0:53:24You can leave us now, Clotilde.
0:53:34 > 0:53:36The doctor said I did the right thing.
0:53:43 > 0:53:44Why do you say nothing?
0:53:46 > 0:53:50- Why do you judge me so? - BELL DINGS
0:53:55 > 0:53:58The intervention is called tracheotomy.
0:53:58 > 0:54:00If I hadn't have done it, we would have carried her out in a coffin.
0:54:07 > 0:54:09I too shall have a cup of tea, Clotilde.
0:54:13 > 0:54:14So now you know.
0:54:16 > 0:54:19From then on, I was indebted to him...
0:54:20 > 0:54:22..just as Rui Mendes was indebted to him.
0:54:25 > 0:54:26The police knew very well the
0:54:26 > 0:54:29clinic was been used as a cover for the resistance -
0:54:29 > 0:54:31they never came and searched.
0:54:31 > 0:54:33People would drop off envelopes of money and...
0:54:33 > 0:54:36names, addresses, maps.
0:54:39 > 0:54:41And then she would come.
0:54:43 > 0:54:45Next.
0:54:48 > 0:54:50Why have you not called me? I left messages.
0:54:52 > 0:54:54I have something for Joao.
0:55:00 > 0:55:03I have to talk to you. I cannot go on with Jorge.
0:55:05 > 0:55:06Leave us.
0:55:10 > 0:55:11Adriana, leave us.
0:55:15 > 0:55:17Then one night, it-it all ended.
0:55:18 > 0:55:19How?
0:55:19 > 0:55:21Something had happened...
0:55:21 > 0:55:25I do not know what, but that was the last time I ever saw her.
0:55:34 > 0:55:37- There are patients waiting for you.- Send them away.
0:55:37 > 0:55:40- We do not send patients away?! - Do it now.
0:55:40 > 0:55:43If someone comes to the door, do not answer it.
0:55:43 > 0:55:44Switch off the lights. We are not here.
0:56:02 > 0:56:04Amadeu!
0:56:04 > 0:56:07BANGING CONTINUES
0:56:07 > 0:56:09Amadeu!
0:56:23 > 0:56:25Joao Eca is at the door.
0:56:26 > 0:56:28I'll be back.
0:56:37 > 0:56:39Amadeu!
0:56:39 > 0:56:40Come, come in.
0:56:44 > 0:56:46Where is she?
0:56:47 > 0:56:49Estefania.
0:56:49 > 0:56:51I don't know. She went one way, I went another.
0:56:53 > 0:56:56Jorge came to me - the problem is Estefania.
0:56:57 > 0:56:59What do you mean?
0:57:00 > 0:57:03He wants... He wants to eliminate her.
0:57:04 > 0:57:05What?
0:57:07 > 0:57:10He said, if they get to her, they'll get the names.
0:57:11 > 0:57:14It will be the end of it.
0:57:14 > 0:57:16Jorge wants to kill Estefania?
0:57:16 > 0:57:19If she or Jorge come here, call me.
0:57:21 > 0:57:24- You understand?- I understand.
0:57:24 > 0:57:26Okay.
0:57:30 > 0:57:31What a mess.
0:57:44 > 0:57:45What are you going to do?
0:57:48 > 0:57:51Pack a bag and some food - I am taking the car.
0:57:51 > 0:57:54- To where?- Away from here.
0:57:56 > 0:57:59- With her?- Of course with her.
0:58:00 > 0:58:03No, please no, Amadeu!
0:58:03 > 0:58:06I beg you, don't do this thing!
0:58:06 > 0:58:08Tell them she's here.
0:58:08 > 0:58:11Don't go away with her, I beg you!
0:58:11 > 0:58:13Please, don't go!
0:58:17 > 0:58:19Do as I say.
0:58:21 > 0:58:24Don't do this thing, it's wrong!
0:58:25 > 0:58:28Something terrible will happen, I know it will!
0:58:33 > 0:58:37He stepped over me - I'll never forget that.
0:58:38 > 0:58:40He stepped over me...
0:58:41 > 0:58:44..like I was...nothing.
0:59:29 > 0:59:31Could I have a coffee, please?
0:59:33 > 0:59:36- Hello?- Mr Kagi, it's me.
0:59:36 > 0:59:39I am sorry I missed your call yesterday.
0:59:39 > 0:59:42Don't tell me you are still in Lisbon?
0:59:42 > 0:59:44- Yes, I am.- Where are you staying?
0:59:44 > 0:59:47Hotel Silva - you wouldn't have heard of it.
0:59:47 > 0:59:48Is it raining in Bern?
0:59:48 > 0:59:51I can't keep teaching your class, you have to come back.
0:59:51 > 0:59:54If you don't come back, I am going to have to get replacement for you.
0:59:54 > 0:59:56Do you want me to do that?
0:59:56 > 0:59:59- Perhaps. - I need a yes or no, Raimund.
0:59:59 > 1:00:01Mr Kagi, I have to go. I'm sorry.
1:00:12 > 1:00:15DOG BARKS
1:01:17 > 1:01:19Why are you following me?
1:01:30 > 1:01:32Where does this come from?
1:01:32 > 1:01:35His sister, Adriana, came across his notes.
1:01:35 > 1:01:37She put them together in a book.
1:01:37 > 1:01:39I came across that in Bern, Switzerland.
1:01:42 > 1:01:44I want to know what happened to Estefania.
1:01:44 > 1:01:46- Why?- Amadeu is dead.
1:01:47 > 1:01:50Adriana does not know. You are the only one who does.
1:01:50 > 1:01:53Get the hell out of here!
1:01:53 > 1:01:54Get out!
1:01:55 > 1:01:57- MAN:- Shh!
1:01:59 > 1:02:02- Why has my uncle started smoking again?- What?
1:02:03 > 1:02:05The doctor from the nursing home called me,
1:02:05 > 1:02:09and told me a stranger visited him and brought him some cigarettes.
1:02:09 > 1:02:12- Well, he asked me for some. - Are you trying to kill him?
1:02:12 > 1:02:13He already has emphysema!
1:02:13 > 1:02:16Yeah, but he enjoys smoking. Why deny him that pleasure?
1:02:16 > 1:02:18Because it's bad for him.
1:02:18 > 1:02:22So is living in that nursing home - it reminds him of being in prison.
1:02:26 > 1:02:29- How are your new glasses? - I'm getting used to them.
1:02:30 > 1:02:32Would you have dinner with me?
1:02:36 > 1:02:38I thought you'd never ask.
1:02:39 > 1:02:42If-if-if Jesus had been put to death with a guillotine,
1:02:42 > 1:02:46we would all be praying before a big, shiny blade.
1:02:46 > 1:02:49Or-or if he'd been electrocuted, we'd be genuflecting in front of a chair.
1:02:49 > 1:02:53THEY LAUGH
1:02:53 > 1:02:55But can you really do that?
1:02:55 > 1:02:59Nobody disliked to be another person without being the other person.
1:02:59 > 1:03:03You can imagine what it's like to be that other person.
1:03:03 > 1:03:06"Imagination is our last sanctuary" -
1:03:06 > 1:03:07that's one of his lines.
1:03:07 > 1:03:11Though he also said, "Intimacy is our last sanctuary."
1:03:12 > 1:03:14You remember the lines verbatim.
1:03:14 > 1:03:17Well, that's because they... They mean something to me.
1:03:17 > 1:03:20Poor Estefania, she... she remembered everything,
1:03:20 > 1:03:25even trivial things - numbers, names, phone numbers, addresses...
1:03:25 > 1:03:27To have a memory like that must drive you mad.
1:03:29 > 1:03:31Sorry, I am going on.
1:03:33 > 1:03:34I haven't talked as much as this for years.
1:03:34 > 1:03:37No, no. I'm fascinated.
1:03:40 > 1:03:43May I ask you how long you have been on you own?
1:03:44 > 1:03:46Five and a half years.
1:03:46 > 1:03:49But before that, you spoke to you wife?
1:03:49 > 1:03:50Yes...
1:03:50 > 1:03:53but it...
1:03:53 > 1:03:55usually landed me in trouble.
1:03:55 > 1:03:56What kind of trouble?
1:03:56 > 1:03:59Well, we threw a party for her colleagues...
1:03:59 > 1:04:02well...our friends,
1:04:02 > 1:04:05and she found this quote from Pessoa.
1:04:06 > 1:04:13"Fields are greener in their description than their actual greenness."
1:04:13 > 1:04:16And somebody said, "Oh, that's a beautiful sentence."
1:04:16 > 1:04:19I said, "Yes, but only a very few people will ever understand it."
1:04:20 > 1:04:26And there was this terrible silence and then she said, my wife...
1:04:26 > 1:04:30She said, "And I suppose you are one of the chosen few?"
1:04:33 > 1:04:35So, that was the end of that party.
1:04:37 > 1:04:39But you were right.
1:04:39 > 1:04:42Yes, but it...was arrogant.
1:04:42 > 1:04:44Stupid and arrogant.
1:04:44 > 1:04:47And is that why she left you, because of your arrogance?
1:04:47 > 1:04:52No. I think she left me because she found me...
1:04:53 > 1:04:55..boring.
1:05:00 > 1:05:02We are still in touch.
1:05:02 > 1:05:04She called the other day.
1:05:04 > 1:05:06She wanted me to move my books out of the garage
1:05:06 > 1:05:09because her new boyfriend wanted somewhere to park his car.
1:05:09 > 1:05:12SHE LAUGHS
1:05:12 > 1:05:14I don't know why I am telling you all of this.
1:05:21 > 1:05:25- Would you like to dance? - No, I can't. I can't dance.
1:05:27 > 1:05:28You see?
1:05:30 > 1:05:31Boring.
1:05:38 > 1:05:40Thank you.
1:05:41 > 1:05:43I enjoyed that.
1:05:43 > 1:05:45Raimund...
1:05:45 > 1:05:47you are not boring.
1:05:49 > 1:05:52My uncle would like to see you again.
1:05:52 > 1:05:53Will you take him some cigarettes?
1:06:00 > 1:06:04DOG BARKS
1:06:15 > 1:06:17- Jorge is still alive.- You met him?
1:06:17 > 1:06:19Still running the same pharmacy,
1:06:19 > 1:06:22smoking cigarette while he serves his customers.
1:06:23 > 1:06:25- You brought some?- Yes, I did.
1:06:28 > 1:06:31Estefania was in the house when I was there?
1:06:31 > 1:06:33She found them together in his study.
1:06:35 > 1:06:37No wonder he lied to me...
1:06:37 > 1:06:40because, you know, he never lied.
1:06:40 > 1:06:42He could not tolerate dishonesty.
1:06:42 > 1:06:45What had happened earlier that night?
1:06:45 > 1:06:48Jorge's place become too small
1:06:48 > 1:06:54and so we hired a room in an old warehouse for our meetings.
1:06:54 > 1:06:59We pretended it was a literacy class - Estefania's idea.
1:07:01 > 1:07:03We were so naive.
1:07:03 > 1:07:05Nuno, you will be in charge of the railways.
1:07:05 > 1:07:07The numbers you will call are -
1:07:07 > 1:07:12Lisbon, 642-3518,
1:07:12 > 1:07:14contact name, Leonardo.
1:07:14 > 1:07:20Port, 235-5900, contact name, Julius.
1:07:20 > 1:07:24The signal for the take over will come from Radio Renaissance now.
1:07:24 > 1:07:28It will be the song that was banned, the song by...
1:07:28 > 1:07:30DOOR OPENS
1:07:34 > 1:07:36Excuse me. Are you lost?
1:07:36 > 1:07:39Is this the literacy class?
1:07:39 > 1:07:42Yes, we were just finishing. Please take a seat.
1:07:46 > 1:07:53Most letters have more than one pronunciation except the letter "X"
1:07:53 > 1:07:56and I will explain that in more detail next week.
1:07:56 > 1:07:58Thank you all.
1:08:03 > 1:08:06What is a professor of music doing here?
1:08:07 > 1:08:11I met someone who cannot read.
1:08:11 > 1:08:14I wanted to see for myself what kind of course it was
1:08:14 > 1:08:16before recommending it.
1:08:16 > 1:08:18Hmm-hmm.
1:08:18 > 1:08:21What is this person's name?
1:08:21 > 1:08:26Um... Caspian. HE LAUGHS
1:08:26 > 1:08:28How original(!)
1:08:29 > 1:08:32Sit down, all of you! Nobody leaves this room!
1:08:39 > 1:08:41(Shh-shh!)
1:08:47 > 1:08:48(Out! Out!)
1:09:13 > 1:09:15SIRENS BLARE IN DISTANCE
1:09:19 > 1:09:21(Joao!)
1:09:22 > 1:09:24Give me your gun.
1:09:24 > 1:09:26What for?
1:09:26 > 1:09:28We have to do what is right for the resistance.
1:09:29 > 1:09:31What happened to the others?
1:09:31 > 1:09:33Estefania and Amadeu, they got away, but...
1:09:33 > 1:09:35they're gonna find her and then she will talk.
1:09:36 > 1:09:40The others, they don't know much. But Estefania, she knows everything.
1:09:40 > 1:09:42Hey, hey. Hey, hey, Jorge...
1:09:42 > 1:09:44What are you talking about?
1:09:45 > 1:09:47You want to kill Estefania?
1:09:47 > 1:09:49No. No, no.
1:09:49 > 1:09:53I don't want to, but I have to.
1:09:53 > 1:09:56One life for many lives. Give it to me.
1:09:57 > 1:09:59Joao, give it to me.
1:10:02 > 1:10:04I never find out what really happened.
1:10:05 > 1:10:07Did he tell you?
1:10:07 > 1:10:11No. When I asked him, he tell me to...get lost.
1:10:13 > 1:10:17I need to know. I can't tell you how many times I wish
1:10:17 > 1:10:20that I never gave him that gun.
1:10:24 > 1:10:28Three days later, Mendes, he picked me up.
1:10:29 > 1:10:34He broke my hands and my spirit...
1:10:34 > 1:10:37but I never give him one single name.
1:10:39 > 1:10:42You-you-you tell that to Jorge.
1:10:42 > 1:10:43He owes me.
1:10:48 > 1:10:52"In youth, we live as if we were immortal.
1:10:52 > 1:10:55"Knowledge of mortality dances around us
1:10:55 > 1:10:59"like a brittle paper ribbon that barely touches our skin.
1:11:00 > 1:11:03"When in life does that change?
1:11:05 > 1:11:08"When does the ribbon tighten,
1:11:08 > 1:11:10"until finally it strangles us?"
1:11:10 > 1:11:13PHONE RINGS
1:11:20 > 1:11:21Mr Kagi?
1:11:21 > 1:11:23Have you made a decision yet?
1:11:26 > 1:11:28No.
1:11:28 > 1:11:29A woman came asking for you.
1:11:29 > 1:11:32She said she met you on a bridge, or something.
1:11:33 > 1:11:35A Portuguese woman?
1:11:35 > 1:11:38I told her where you were and she left.
1:11:38 > 1:11:41If you decide not to come back, I need your keys.
1:11:41 > 1:11:44- Will you post them to me? - No, this woman...
1:11:44 > 1:11:46Did-did she leave her name?
1:11:46 > 1:11:48No.
1:11:48 > 1:11:49Goodbye, Mr Kagi.
1:12:24 > 1:12:27Joao Eca wants to know what happened to Estefania.
1:12:28 > 1:12:30He says you owe him.
1:12:30 > 1:12:32I owe no-one anything.
1:12:37 > 1:12:39Do you know what they did to his hands?
1:12:41 > 1:12:43Those hands that used to play Mozart?
1:12:43 > 1:12:45He didn't give them one name.
1:12:45 > 1:12:48If he had, you wouldn't be standing here.
1:12:48 > 1:12:51You think you can blackmail me with guilt?
1:12:51 > 1:12:53You don't know who you are dealing with!
1:12:56 > 1:13:01Could I have killed her? That is the question!
1:13:04 > 1:13:08Don't you know we don't talk about...about the resistance here?
1:13:08 > 1:13:11We bury our history and move on!
1:13:16 > 1:13:17You want a drink?
1:13:23 > 1:13:26You are sitting where Amadeu used to sit,
1:13:26 > 1:13:29until this thing with Mendes happened, then we...
1:13:32 > 1:13:35We have the list of reasons for loyalty -
1:13:35 > 1:13:39guilt towards others...
1:13:39 > 1:13:42shared suffering, common struggle, common strength,
1:13:42 > 1:13:45weaknesses, need for closeness...
1:13:46 > 1:13:49..common hatred, shared humour and so on.
1:13:52 > 1:13:55- What about love? - He didn't believe in it.
1:13:55 > 1:13:57Avoided the word as too sentimental.
1:13:57 > 1:14:00There are only three things that are important to him -
1:14:00 > 1:14:03desire, pleasure and security.
1:14:05 > 1:14:07Desire...Jorge.
1:14:09 > 1:14:12I don't trust people who don't drink.
1:14:20 > 1:14:22Have a cigarette.
1:14:35 > 1:14:36HE COUGHS
1:14:38 > 1:14:39You are OK?
1:14:41 > 1:14:43Yeah.
1:14:43 > 1:14:46- Joao still loves to smoke.- He would.
1:14:48 > 1:14:50HE LAUGHS
1:14:50 > 1:14:52What?
1:14:52 > 1:14:56The night after we graduated from Coimbra University,
1:14:56 > 1:14:59me as a pharmacist, Amadeu as a doctor...
1:15:06 > 1:15:09- What?- Come, I have something to show you.
1:15:25 > 1:15:26What do you think?
1:15:29 > 1:15:31So? It's a... It's a pharmacy.
1:15:31 > 1:15:33Yes. It's yours.
1:15:39 > 1:15:40Come in.
1:15:48 > 1:15:50I need a pharmacist I can trust
1:15:50 > 1:15:53if I am going to be writing up prescriptions.
1:15:53 > 1:15:54Here.
1:16:01 > 1:16:04I could not believe what he had given me.
1:16:06 > 1:16:10After that, I never thought we could lose our friendship.
1:16:13 > 1:16:15I never thought it possible.
1:16:17 > 1:16:21I'm not much to look at, I know I'm an ugly bastard,
1:16:21 > 1:16:23so, when she came along...
1:16:25 > 1:16:27God, she was beautiful.
1:16:28 > 1:16:32I thought some of her would somehow rub off on me.
1:16:32 > 1:16:34HE LAUGHS
1:16:34 > 1:16:37At least that's what I think I thought.
1:16:41 > 1:16:44And this is Estefania.
1:16:46 > 1:16:48I was going to introduce you, but...
1:16:48 > 1:16:50The resistance keeps us busy.
1:16:53 > 1:16:54Isn't she beautiful?
1:17:01 > 1:17:05It was the way she took my hand and removed it from her neck.
1:17:06 > 1:17:08Her eyes penetrating him.
1:17:08 > 1:17:12We'll think about it, Amadeu, and get back to you.
1:17:12 > 1:17:14All right?
1:17:20 > 1:17:22Perhaps we can use your clinic as a drop.
1:17:28 > 1:17:30Why did you take my hand off your neck?
1:17:31 > 1:17:33Did I?
1:17:41 > 1:17:44Have you ever been in love?
1:17:44 > 1:17:47So that not even food matters? Not even words?
1:17:49 > 1:17:52- I am not sure.- You would be sure. You would know.
1:17:54 > 1:17:56You always know.
1:17:57 > 1:18:00- You're thinking of him.- What?
1:18:02 > 1:18:04HE SIGHS
1:18:15 > 1:18:17You wish I was Amadeu.
1:18:22 > 1:18:24Does he mention me in the book?
1:18:27 > 1:18:29A lot.
1:18:29 > 1:18:32Well, I am surprised she published it. Adriana hated me.
1:18:32 > 1:18:34Wanted him for herself,
1:18:34 > 1:18:36did not even want to share him with her father.
1:18:36 > 1:18:40- You know what happened to him?- No.
1:18:40 > 1:18:42A few months before the revolution,
1:18:42 > 1:18:45he went to Amadeu and asked for stronger pain killers for his back.
1:18:46 > 1:18:49Adriana came every week to the pharmacy for the pills,
1:18:49 > 1:18:52but he never took them - he hoarded them.
1:18:53 > 1:18:57A week after Amadeu died, he swallowed over 100.
1:18:58 > 1:19:01The newspapers said he died after a long illness.
1:19:02 > 1:19:05Catholics don't appreciate suicide.
1:19:05 > 1:19:07Hmm.
1:19:09 > 1:19:11(Everyone out!)
1:19:18 > 1:19:19Estefania, come with me.
1:19:42 > 1:19:43CAR APPROACHES
1:19:43 > 1:19:45HORN BLARES
1:20:24 > 1:20:27If I had the gun then, I might have shot her.
1:20:35 > 1:20:37And when you got the gun?
1:20:38 > 1:20:40'I went strict to Amadeu's clinic.
1:20:42 > 1:20:44'I knew they would be there.'
1:20:44 > 1:20:47DOORBELL RINGS
1:20:48 > 1:20:51- Where are they?- They've gone.
1:20:51 > 1:20:53- Don't lie to me... - They've gone, Jorge.
1:20:53 > 1:20:56CAR ENGINE STARTS
1:21:22 > 1:21:24Jorge.
1:21:35 > 1:21:36Give me the gun.
1:21:59 > 1:22:01HE SOBS
1:22:29 > 1:22:32Estefania, is she...?
1:22:32 > 1:22:33Is she still alive?
1:22:36 > 1:22:40I bumped into her two years ago.
1:22:40 > 1:22:43She was here, attending some seminar or...
1:22:46 > 1:22:48I asked her how she was.
1:22:50 > 1:22:53She told me she was teaching history.
1:22:53 > 1:22:54Where?
1:22:54 > 1:22:57At the University of Salamanca in Spain.
1:23:00 > 1:23:02And...your pharmacy...
1:23:04 > 1:23:07Why do you leave the lights on at night?
1:23:07 > 1:23:09HE LAUGHS
1:23:12 > 1:23:15To remind me of Amadeu.
1:23:26 > 1:23:28HE GROANS
1:23:39 > 1:23:41HE GROANS
1:24:08 > 1:24:10Mr da Silva, could I have my bill, please?
1:24:10 > 1:24:14- Are you going back to Switzerland, sir?- Yes, via Spain.
1:24:14 > 1:24:18They say the weather right now in Switzerland is terrible -
1:24:18 > 1:24:20rain, snow and wind.
1:24:20 > 1:24:22I have to go. Could I have my bill, please?
1:24:22 > 1:24:23Excuse me.
1:24:28 > 1:24:30Hello.
1:24:32 > 1:24:35I want to thank you for what happened on the bridge.
1:24:37 > 1:24:40- I've been reading your book. - I don't want it.
1:24:43 > 1:24:45I just want to thank you for what you did.
1:24:50 > 1:24:51I've got your coat.
1:24:56 > 1:24:57You left it behind.
1:25:03 > 1:25:04Tell me your name.
1:25:09 > 1:25:11Catarina Mendes.
1:25:13 > 1:25:14Yes...
1:25:16 > 1:25:17..that Mendes.
1:25:20 > 1:25:23I am the granddaughter of the "Butcher of Lisbon".
1:25:26 > 1:25:29I didn't know who he was until I read the book.
1:25:31 > 1:25:34You can't blame yourself for what you grandfather did.
1:25:34 > 1:25:35You don't understand.
1:25:39 > 1:25:41I loved him.
1:25:42 > 1:25:44I cried at his funeral
1:25:44 > 1:25:48and I did not understand why so many other people were not crying.
1:25:54 > 1:25:55Anyway...
1:25:57 > 1:26:01..it will take some time, but I'll learn to live with this.
1:26:13 > 1:26:16This would be the same road they took.
1:26:16 > 1:26:20But at night and in great danger.
1:26:20 > 1:26:21And in love.
1:26:26 > 1:26:29I was moved to see my uncle cry like that.
1:26:29 > 1:26:30I don't know what pleased him more -
1:26:30 > 1:26:35the news Estefania was alive, or the carton of cigarettes we gave him.
1:26:35 > 1:26:36SHE LAUGHS
1:26:40 > 1:26:43So, you return to your school and continue teaching?
1:26:45 > 1:26:46If they'll have me.
1:26:49 > 1:26:51I am sure I'll come back and visit.
1:27:13 > 1:27:14Are you sure she'll be in?
1:27:16 > 1:27:18She said she'd be here.
1:27:18 > 1:27:19Are you coming?
1:27:19 > 1:27:21I'll wait in the car.
1:27:21 > 1:27:22No.
1:27:26 > 1:27:29Go, Raimund. I'll be fine here. Take your time.
1:27:33 > 1:27:34Welcome, Raimund.
1:27:37 > 1:27:39- I'm Estefania. - Thank you so much for meeting me.
1:27:41 > 1:27:43Do you have the book?
1:27:44 > 1:27:45I do.
1:27:52 > 1:27:55He looks just as I remember him.
1:27:55 > 1:27:58So long ago and still so vivid.
1:27:59 > 1:28:02- Would you like some tea?- Thank you.
1:28:03 > 1:28:04What about your friend?
1:28:04 > 1:28:07Oh, no. She is... She is happy in the car.
1:28:07 > 1:28:09I joined the resistance
1:28:09 > 1:28:13after my father was arrested in 1971 for sabotage.
1:28:15 > 1:28:17They sent him to Tarrafal.
1:28:17 > 1:28:19- You have heard of it?- Yes.
1:28:22 > 1:28:26It was also known as the "Campo da Morte Lenta" -
1:28:26 > 1:28:29"The Camp of the Slow Death".
1:28:30 > 1:28:33It took them two years to kill him.
1:28:34 > 1:28:36And that is how I met Jorge.
1:28:37 > 1:28:39I need someone strong.
1:28:39 > 1:28:41Someone to protect me.
1:28:42 > 1:28:44I thought that was love.
1:28:47 > 1:28:49But then I met Amadeu.
1:28:58 > 1:29:00A new light fell on everything.
1:29:02 > 1:29:05My whole life.
1:29:07 > 1:29:09I could not sleep any more.
1:29:11 > 1:29:13I went to the clinic as often as I could...
1:29:14 > 1:29:17..despite Adriana's looks.
1:29:19 > 1:29:23He wanted to take me in his arms, but he kept rejecting me.
1:29:23 > 1:29:27"Jorge", he would say, "What about Jorge?" I began to hate Jorge.
1:29:29 > 1:29:31- Do you mind if I smoke?- No. Please.
1:29:33 > 1:29:36Jealousy is a terrible emotion.
1:29:36 > 1:29:39SIRENS BLARE
1:29:43 > 1:29:45SHE SIGHS
1:30:11 > 1:30:15I could tell from his shoulders he had seen us.
1:30:15 > 1:30:19Awful. Awful.
1:30:20 > 1:30:24But, in a way, I was relieved it was done.
1:30:26 > 1:30:28Are you sure your friend is all right?
1:30:28 > 1:30:31Oh, yes. She is fine in the car.
1:30:32 > 1:30:34We drove through the night.
1:30:36 > 1:30:39Amadeu kept questioning me.
1:30:39 > 1:30:42Was he searching for me or for life?
1:30:42 > 1:30:46He wanted to know everything, my whole life, my...
1:30:46 > 1:30:49memories,
1:30:49 > 1:30:53thoughts, fantasies, dreams... It was relentless.
1:30:53 > 1:30:57It was almost a relief when, 5km from the border,
1:30:57 > 1:30:59he stopped and hid me in the trunk.
1:31:13 > 1:31:14Passport.
1:31:34 > 1:31:38- Why are you travelling to Spain? - I am going to visit relatives.
1:31:39 > 1:31:41Get out of the car, please.
1:32:09 > 1:32:11Keys.
1:32:14 > 1:32:17Do you know Major Rui Lus Mendes of PIDE?
1:32:17 > 1:32:19What about him?
1:32:21 > 1:32:23I want you to call him. I have his home number.
1:32:25 > 1:32:28I want you to tell him you are treating me like a criminal.
1:32:42 > 1:32:44INDISTINCT SPEECH
1:32:44 > 1:32:46He wants to talk to you.
1:32:53 > 1:32:56This is Dr Amadeu de Prado.
1:32:56 > 1:32:58You are asking too much of me.
1:32:58 > 1:33:01You took my life away from me - I want it back now.
1:33:05 > 1:33:07Give the phone back to my man.
1:33:11 > 1:33:14SHE SOBS
1:33:14 > 1:33:18Ironic that I should ultimately be saved...
1:33:18 > 1:33:20by the Butcher of Lisbon.
1:33:28 > 1:33:29That night...
1:33:31 > 1:33:34..we drove to Finisterra and slept in the car.
1:34:12 > 1:34:14We'll go away.
1:34:16 > 1:34:18We'll take a ship to the Amazon,
1:34:18 > 1:34:21to a new world, where only you and I exist.
1:34:25 > 1:34:27I'll write books...
1:34:27 > 1:34:31we'll invent a new language that only you and I understand.
1:34:36 > 1:34:38We'll go up the river as far as it will take us.
1:34:41 > 1:34:45Back in time and into the future.
1:34:45 > 1:34:46The very beginning of the end.
1:34:48 > 1:34:50What would I do?
1:34:51 > 1:34:53You'll share it with me.
1:34:55 > 1:35:01The same air, the same feelings, same tastes.
1:35:04 > 1:35:06These things that you want...
1:35:06 > 1:35:09you want them for yourself, not for me.
1:35:09 > 1:35:11I want them for both of us.
1:35:12 > 1:35:15He was hungry for me and for life...
1:35:17 > 1:35:19..but the journey he wanted to take
1:35:19 > 1:35:22was into his own soul, not into mine.
1:35:34 > 1:35:36I cannot do it, Amadeu.
1:35:40 > 1:35:41What do you mean?
1:35:42 > 1:35:45You want more than I can ever give you...
1:35:47 > 1:35:49..and I'm not ready.
1:35:55 > 1:35:56I'm so sorry.
1:36:18 > 1:36:20I have friends in Salamanca.
1:36:21 > 1:36:23Will you take me to them?
1:36:29 > 1:36:31He drove me to Salamanca...
1:36:34 > 1:36:36..he shook my hand...
1:36:37 > 1:36:40..he wished me well and left.
1:36:46 > 1:36:48The next I heard, he was dead.
1:36:51 > 1:36:54I always felt I killed him.
1:36:56 > 1:36:58He had an aneurysm.
1:36:58 > 1:37:00An aneurysm?
1:37:00 > 1:37:03A blood vessel burst in his brain.
1:37:03 > 1:37:05He... He'd had it for a long time.
1:37:13 > 1:37:16Did you...go to his funeral?
1:37:31 > 1:37:34You didn't really think I would do it, did you?
1:37:37 > 1:37:39It is no longer important.
1:37:58 > 1:38:00SHE SOBS
1:38:02 > 1:38:06So what happened to the names and telephone numbers
1:38:06 > 1:38:08you had in you head?
1:38:09 > 1:38:11Lisbon,
1:38:11 > 1:38:15331-4518, contact name, Carlos.
1:38:16 > 1:38:21Sintra, 245-102, contact name, Nuno.
1:38:22 > 1:38:25I wrote them all down and passed them on to someone safe.
1:38:26 > 1:38:30A few months later, they were used to initiate the revolution.
1:38:33 > 1:38:35Your friend must be very tired of waiting.
1:38:41 > 1:38:44- You can keep the book, if you like. - Thank you.
1:38:44 > 1:38:48I'm probably more ready for him now than I was back then.
1:38:49 > 1:38:52- Goodbye, Raimund. - Goodbye, Estefania.
1:39:11 > 1:39:15"We leave something of ourselves behind when we leave a place...
1:39:16 > 1:39:20"..we stay there, even though we go away.
1:39:21 > 1:39:26"And there are things in us that we can find again
1:39:26 > 1:39:27"only by going back there.
1:39:29 > 1:39:32"We travel to our souls when we go to a place
1:39:32 > 1:39:35"that we have covered a stretch of our life,
1:39:35 > 1:39:37"no matter how brief it may have been."
1:39:45 > 1:39:47This is me.
1:39:50 > 1:39:52Well, we've still got...
1:39:54 > 1:39:56..five minutes.
1:39:58 > 1:39:59Thank you for...
1:40:02 > 1:40:04..telling me I wasn't boring.
1:40:10 > 1:40:12But when I think of their lives...
1:40:14 > 1:40:16..Amadeu, Estefania, the others,
1:40:16 > 1:40:20their lives full of such vitality,
1:40:20 > 1:40:24- intensity...- So much so it broke them apart in the end.
1:40:24 > 1:40:25But they lived.
1:40:29 > 1:40:31Whereas my life...
1:40:36 > 1:40:38..apart from these last few days...
1:40:43 > 1:40:46And now you are going back to it.
1:40:58 > 1:41:00Oh, why don't you just stay?
1:41:01 > 1:41:03What?
1:41:04 > 1:41:06Why don't you just stay?