0:00:35 > 0:00:42This programme contains some strong language and some scenes which some viewers may find upsetting.
0:01:01 > 0:01:03Thank you.
0:01:03 > 0:01:07- What do you say? Grisen? Grisen? - Grisen.- Grisen.- Yeah, grisen.
0:01:07 > 0:01:08Yeah, grisen!
0:01:08 > 0:01:11- With a smile.- Yeah. I love the sound of Danish. It is very, very charming.
0:01:11 > 0:01:14We are very charming people.
0:01:14 > 0:01:18Particularly when we were raping and pillaging Vikings.
0:01:18 > 0:01:19Taking over England, remember?
0:01:19 > 0:01:23I think it was about 1,000 years ago for maybe three or four years.
0:01:23 > 0:01:26Long years. Very, very important period, I think.
0:01:26 > 0:01:30Well, let's raise our glasses to, um, Canute the Great.
0:01:30 > 0:01:31Knut den Store!
0:01:31 > 0:01:33- Kn...Knut den Store?- Yes.
0:01:34 > 0:01:37- Knut den Store.- Very Good.
0:01:37 > 0:01:39And to the school of architecture.
0:01:39 > 0:01:41Very nice of them to assign you five days of lectures.
0:01:41 > 0:01:44And I want to thank you for daring to go out with me here in Copenhagen.
0:01:44 > 0:01:47- But I dare! - We might make the headlines.
0:01:47 > 0:01:50Who is that dark stranger having dinner with the former PM?
0:01:50 > 0:01:53I don't think anyone cares.
0:01:58 > 0:02:03So I completely forgot about it, and when I came back, there was no-one there.
0:02:03 > 0:02:06So I planned this whole scene - I knew exactly what to say,
0:02:06 > 0:02:09exactly what to do, and... Are you OK?
0:02:09 > 0:02:11Yeah, I'm fine.
0:02:13 > 0:02:15- You don't look so good. - Just need some more water.
0:02:15 > 0:02:17Honestly, you really don't look...
0:02:17 > 0:02:20You know what? I'm just going to go to the lavatory.
0:02:20 > 0:02:23CHAIR CLATTERS
0:02:24 > 0:02:26You going to be all right?
0:02:33 > 0:02:35- Oh! - HE SPLUTTERS
0:05:45 > 0:05:48PHONE RINGS
0:08:20 > 0:08:21Hello.
0:08:22 > 0:08:27- Hey.- Aww! Are they keeping you here?
0:08:27 > 0:08:30Danish health care system is very thorough. You did a good job.
0:08:33 > 0:08:34I thought it was just food poisoning.
0:08:34 > 0:08:39No, I'm afraid it's a little more complicated than that. Erm...
0:08:39 > 0:08:42I'm... I'm allergic to antibiotics.
0:08:42 > 0:08:45Why have you been taking antibiotics if you are allergic?
0:08:45 > 0:08:47I didn't think I had. That's what's complicated.
0:08:47 > 0:08:49They ran some tests
0:08:49 > 0:08:53and apparently the antibiotics were in the roast pork.
0:08:53 > 0:08:55- What?- I know, sounds silly.
0:08:55 > 0:08:58No, it sounds...disgusting.
0:08:58 > 0:09:01Well, apparently the pig had been injected with a special
0:09:01 > 0:09:05kind of oil-based antibiotic that's hardly used any more,
0:09:05 > 0:09:08and it must have been slaughtered before the quarantine period
0:09:08 > 0:09:11for medicated animals had fully expired.
0:09:11 > 0:09:13I've never heard anything like that before.
0:09:13 > 0:09:16It's because it hardly ever happens. It is a once-in-a-lifetime thing.
0:09:16 > 0:09:18Last time it happened was in the '60s.
0:09:20 > 0:09:23I'm just so happy you were there to share it with me.
0:09:25 > 0:09:26Does anyone know?
0:09:26 > 0:09:29Erm... There's been some front pages.
0:09:29 > 0:09:31A lot of gossip, and...
0:09:32 > 0:09:33..a YouTube clip.
0:09:35 > 0:09:38- Somebody filmed us? - And it's incredibly popular.
0:09:38 > 0:09:41- Over 100,000 hits this morning. - Oh, my God!
0:09:41 > 0:09:46100,000 people have seen me throw up on the former Prime Minister?
0:09:46 > 0:09:48I've got you some papers.
0:09:48 > 0:09:50Do you know when they're letting you out of here?
0:09:50 > 0:09:53- They say maybe tomorrow.- Yeah?
0:09:53 > 0:09:55Yeah.
0:09:55 > 0:10:00I've had to postpone my lectures, so I'll be here for a few more days.
0:10:00 > 0:10:03I'll come and pick you up tomorrow and take you to your hotel.
0:10:03 > 0:10:05- No, you don't have to do that. - No, but I will.
0:10:05 > 0:10:08And I've sent your clothes to the dry cleaners. I'll bring them as well.
0:10:08 > 0:10:11- You're too kind.- I know.
0:14:15 > 0:14:18KNOCK AT DOOR
0:17:28 > 0:17:30So, how did your children take it?
0:17:31 > 0:17:34Well, they thought it was pretty funny, actually.
0:17:34 > 0:17:37A little embarrassing. But, erm...
0:17:37 > 0:17:39Well, they asked lots of questions about you.
0:17:39 > 0:17:43- I think they'd quite like to meet you.- That's really sweet.
0:17:44 > 0:17:47Tell me about your plans. Still going ahead with the lectures?
0:17:47 > 0:17:50Yeah, yeah. It's just three days of two-hour lectures.
0:17:50 > 0:17:51It's not a problem.
0:17:51 > 0:17:54But you're not well and you're going to stay in that hotel.
0:17:54 > 0:17:55Oh, I'll be fine.
0:17:56 > 0:17:59Look at you, you're not fine!
0:17:59 > 0:18:02- Old man! - THEY LAUGH
0:18:02 > 0:18:05I know you're not dying, but you're not well.
0:18:08 > 0:18:11You should be staying at my place. Why don't you come and stay with me?
0:18:11 > 0:18:13The kids went to their father's.
0:18:15 > 0:18:17Yeah?
0:18:17 > 0:18:18Please?
0:18:18 > 0:18:21- I can't cook, though. - I can cook.- Yeah?
0:25:38 > 0:25:41PHONE RINGS
0:27:28 > 0:27:31PIGS SQUEAL
0:27:41 > 0:27:45PIGLET SQUEALS
0:30:16 > 0:30:19PIGLET SQUEALS
0:30:45 > 0:30:46- Have you got a grater? - Cupboard.
0:30:46 > 0:30:48- Here?- Yes.
0:31:06 > 0:31:10So, risotto with mushrooms, lemon rind and parsley.
0:31:10 > 0:31:12Ah! It looks amazing! Wow!
0:31:16 > 0:31:20I'm sorry, I... I have to watch this.
0:31:20 > 0:31:23I love news that I don't understand.
0:31:34 > 0:31:38- What?- I'm sorry, I'm saying that he's made of Teflon.
0:31:38 > 0:31:41He just, he doesn't bow. He's...
0:31:44 > 0:31:46- You worry too much.- Oh, do I?
0:31:46 > 0:31:48I'm the leader of a party that no-one knows exists,
0:31:48 > 0:31:51and this man, can't even get him to recognise us.
0:31:51 > 0:31:53He hasn't mentioned our name.
0:31:53 > 0:31:58People have to know that we are a real political party now.
0:31:58 > 0:32:00TV OFF, OPERA ON STEREO
0:32:02 > 0:32:07I've noticed that there's been quite a lot of pigs on the news recently.
0:32:08 > 0:32:10That's a bit of a coincidence, isn't it,
0:32:10 > 0:32:13that it all started round about the time that I was ill?
0:32:13 > 0:32:17Yeah, I might have used you politically a little bit.
0:32:17 > 0:32:19- Oh, you might have?- Yeah.
0:32:19 > 0:32:24I might have, you know...completely exploited it, really. I'm sorry.
0:32:25 > 0:32:29- Oh, well. I guess that's what you have to do.- I guess so.
0:32:45 > 0:32:46What?
0:32:51 > 0:32:52You know...
0:32:59 > 0:33:03- Suddenly, you and me are... - Ah, I see.
0:33:03 > 0:33:05We're a couple having a TV dinner.
0:33:05 > 0:33:08- Exactly.- It's fine.- Is it?
0:33:08 > 0:33:11Yes. Trust me, this is good.
0:33:24 > 0:33:26And now we have to have sex.
0:33:26 > 0:33:28- Is that so?- I'm afraid it is.
0:33:32 > 0:33:36I wanted to fuck you at the hospital, but it didn't seem appropriate.
0:33:36 > 0:33:38No.
0:34:36 > 0:34:38DOOR BUZZER SOUNDS
0:34:41 > 0:34:43INSISTENT BUZZING
0:36:02 > 0:36:04DOOR SLAMS
0:37:10 > 0:37:12PHONE RINGS
0:41:36 > 0:41:39THEME TUNE PLAYS
0:44:05 > 0:44:07PRESENTER CLEARS THROAT
0:53:09 > 0:53:11COMPUTER BLEEPS
0:54:12 > 0:54:17- Are you reading already?- They're saying we won as a party, but...
0:54:17 > 0:54:20- The pigs lost. - Yeah, something like that.
0:54:22 > 0:54:26- Well, there's some truth to that, isn't there?- I don't know.
0:54:27 > 0:54:30You get what you wanted, recognition,
0:54:30 > 0:54:32and the pigs will at least get a commission.
0:54:36 > 0:54:39I loved your risotto. I'm sorry, I forgot to say.
0:54:39 > 0:54:40It was a labour of love.
0:54:46 > 0:54:47I have to go.
0:54:48 > 0:54:49OK.
0:54:51 > 0:54:52Take care.
0:54:54 > 0:54:56Don't eat pigs you can't trust.
0:54:58 > 0:54:59See you.
0:55:01 > 0:55:02Soon, I hope.