0:00:02 > 0:00:04- What did you do? - I treated you women very badly.
0:00:04 > 0:00:06You dirty, filthy beast! You little horror!
0:00:06 > 0:00:09She needs you, Michael, and she needs to have total faith in you.
0:00:09 > 0:00:11I mean, why would you destroy all that just to clear
0:00:11 > 0:00:13- your own conscious? - I can't do that while I'm hiding
0:00:13 > 0:00:15an inconvenient truth of my own.
0:00:15 > 0:00:18There are four betting shops in Hoar Cross Road.
0:00:18 > 0:00:20No bank, no post office, no chemist.
0:00:20 > 0:00:21But four betting shops.
0:00:21 > 0:00:24Why four, when everyone round there is skint?
0:00:24 > 0:00:27In a week or two, my boss is going to find out.
0:00:27 > 0:00:31Please don't kill yourself. I will show you how to atone.
0:00:31 > 0:00:32Promise me you won't kill yourself?
0:00:32 > 0:00:40This programme contains some strong language and scenes which some viewers may find upsetting.
0:00:46 > 0:00:49# Broken windows and empty hallways
0:00:50 > 0:00:55# A pale dead moon in a sky streaked with grey
0:00:57 > 0:01:02# Human kindness is overflowing
0:01:02 > 0:01:07# And I think it's gonna rain today. #
0:01:19 > 0:01:21HE BREATHES HEAVILY
0:01:31 > 0:01:33You were a bloody awful mother!
0:01:33 > 0:01:34And you, a horrible son!
0:01:34 > 0:01:37To scream at your child like that!
0:01:37 > 0:01:39To make your hatred so obvious!
0:01:39 > 0:01:42Your bed, a disgrace! You dirty, little horror!
0:01:42 > 0:01:44My dad's not here, cos life with you,
0:01:44 > 0:01:46that was his purgatory.
0:01:46 > 0:01:47You are here!
0:01:47 > 0:01:49What a hypocrite you are.
0:01:49 > 0:01:51Yeah! Hypocrite or no, I'd never destroy my own child!
0:01:51 > 0:01:54Not a child, a dog!
0:01:54 > 0:01:56A dirty, stinking dog!
0:01:56 > 0:01:58- Something wrong with you! - It were no big thing.
0:01:58 > 0:02:00Something seriously wrong with you!
0:02:00 > 0:02:02If you don't want to see me again, you tosser, fine!
0:02:02 > 0:02:05Everyone said it! "That Michael Kerrigan, what a headcase he is!"
0:02:05 > 0:02:07- You were two sluts! - You meant nothing, nothing to me!
0:02:07 > 0:02:08Yeah, you were two sluts, you were!
0:02:08 > 0:02:11You especially, chewing all the way through it!
0:02:11 > 0:02:13"Don't go near that prick," that's what we told each other.
0:02:13 > 0:02:14Oh, yeah? What did you expect?
0:02:14 > 0:02:18How can anyone have respect for two little sluts like you?
0:02:18 > 0:02:21All that ever mattered to you was that!
0:02:21 > 0:02:23Oh! Who wants to bring up an arrogant child?
0:02:23 > 0:02:26Hey? Slightest sign, you knock it out of them.
0:02:26 > 0:02:27Always at it.
0:02:27 > 0:02:30Trouble is, you knock out confidence,
0:02:30 > 0:02:32and ambition and pride and self-esteem!
0:02:32 > 0:02:34Always at it.
0:02:34 > 0:02:37You made me a self-loathing wreck!
0:02:37 > 0:02:41But that's OK, cos I was not arrogant!
0:02:41 > 0:02:42TRAIN HORN BLARES
0:02:57 > 0:02:59- You're going to have to save me. - What with, you pillock?
0:02:59 > 0:03:01- "What with?"- Yeah.
0:03:01 > 0:03:03Can you stop talking over the table, for God's sake?
0:03:03 > 0:03:05Hey, hey! You talk over the table.
0:03:05 > 0:03:07- I don't.- Oh, no, you don't.- I don't.
0:03:07 > 0:03:10- Shut it, Saint Bloody Michael. - But every time I've got a decent
0:03:10 > 0:03:12- chance of winning a hand, you do. - You know what I've got, don't you?
0:03:12 > 0:03:14- Yeah.- Yeah, right, well, then I repeat - save me.
0:03:14 > 0:03:16And I repeat - what with?
0:03:16 > 0:03:17You've got the ace of spades!
0:03:17 > 0:03:19Why are you telling everybody what you've got?
0:03:19 > 0:03:21I mean, where's the skill in that?
0:03:21 > 0:03:23I gave him three cards at the beginning of this game
0:03:23 > 0:03:24and then you gave me three cards.
0:03:24 > 0:03:26Same bloody cards, different colour!
0:03:26 > 0:03:29The whole point of playing cards is you don't know what each
0:03:29 > 0:03:31other's got. I mean, what's the point in playing if you don't...
0:03:31 > 0:03:36- You cheating shit!- Where's the skill, where's the pleasure?
0:03:36 > 0:03:37I can't lose. Leave.
0:03:37 > 0:03:39- You've had it, anyway. - That's it, he's home.
0:03:39 > 0:03:40You cheating get!
0:03:40 > 0:03:43You need to calm down a bit you do, I'll tell you that.
0:03:43 > 0:03:45Anyway, I've got to get off.
0:03:46 > 0:03:48- Mam'll be all right. Beth's with her.- Give me that here.
0:03:48 > 0:03:51It's just that she's been with her all day, so she'll want to get off.
0:03:51 > 0:03:54- All right.- And give my regards. - Yeah.
0:03:56 > 0:03:58- Don't forget your money. - Take it steady out there.
0:03:58 > 0:04:00- See you.- Enjoy your winnings.
0:04:12 > 0:04:14KNOCK ON DOOR
0:04:15 > 0:04:17- Hi.- Hiya, forgot my key.
0:04:17 > 0:04:18Michael's here, Mam.
0:04:19 > 0:04:21Hiya, Mam. Be up soon!
0:04:21 > 0:04:23How is she?
0:04:23 > 0:04:26Not good. She won't tell you that, but she's not good.
0:04:26 > 0:04:28- Right.- Who won?- Guess.
0:04:28 > 0:04:31- Bye, Mam! Bye. - See you, ta-ra.
0:04:35 > 0:04:38It was the night Joe played in the Sheffield and Hallamshire final,
0:04:38 > 0:04:41and those two coppers came for my dad.
0:04:41 > 0:04:43He hadn't paid a fine or something.
0:04:44 > 0:04:46Court order.
0:04:49 > 0:04:54Anyway, the last thing our Joe sees before he disappears up the street
0:04:54 > 0:04:57is Dad getting marched down it by these two coppers.
0:04:57 > 0:05:00But they only take him to the bottom and they let him go.
0:05:00 > 0:05:04Anyway, Dad comes back and I said, "Why did they let you go?"
0:05:04 > 0:05:06And he says, "You can't get blood out of a stone, son."
0:05:08 > 0:05:10But our Joe hadn't seen any of this.
0:05:10 > 0:05:12He thinks Dad's in the nick.
0:05:12 > 0:05:15So, we're up in the stands at Bramall Lane,
0:05:15 > 0:05:17me and me dad, floodlights and everything.
0:05:17 > 0:05:18And the teams come out.
0:05:18 > 0:05:21And I'm desperate for Joe to see that Dad's with me,
0:05:21 > 0:05:24so I'm shouting out "Joe! Joe!"
0:05:24 > 0:05:27But Joe can't see, because of the floodlights.
0:05:27 > 0:05:28He can hear me, but he can't see me.
0:05:28 > 0:05:33So I start shouting, "Me Dad's here! Me Dad's here!"
0:05:33 > 0:05:36And everyone in the stand's looking round at me, thinking what
0:05:36 > 0:05:38I'm going on about.
0:05:38 > 0:05:41But I don't care, just so long as our Joe don't have to play
0:05:41 > 0:05:44the biggest game of his life thinking me dad's in the nick.
0:05:44 > 0:05:46"Me Dad's here! Me Dad's here!"
0:06:05 > 0:06:07Mum!
0:06:07 > 0:06:09They're ruined. Actually ruined!
0:06:09 > 0:06:11Dickhead. You're paying for them!
0:06:11 > 0:06:13Mum told me to do the washing and I have.
0:06:13 > 0:06:15He did it on purpose. He did it on purpose!
0:06:15 > 0:06:17- No, I never! - You did! You so did!
0:06:17 > 0:06:19I said, "Separate the whites," didn't I? Didn't I say?
0:06:19 > 0:06:21I did! I made a pile of them, but they must have been
0:06:21 > 0:06:24- rolled up somewhere.- Mum, tell him. - Where you going?- School.
0:06:24 > 0:06:26- Without eating? - I'll get something there.
0:06:26 > 0:06:28Why did you tell him to do the washing anyway?
0:06:30 > 0:06:31Because he has to learn.
0:06:31 > 0:06:33But he can't even wash himself.
0:06:33 > 0:06:34Shut your face, right now!
0:06:34 > 0:06:36I'm not doing it any more, and if you've any sense,
0:06:36 > 0:06:38neither should you.
0:06:38 > 0:06:39So he has to learn.
0:06:41 > 0:06:42They have to learn.
0:06:53 > 0:06:55Come here.
0:06:55 > 0:06:56There he is.
0:06:58 > 0:06:59He's a good boy.
0:07:05 > 0:07:07- Where are you going? - Work.
0:07:07 > 0:07:09- What, you not giving me a lift? - No.
0:07:09 > 0:07:10Why didn't you say?
0:07:10 > 0:07:12Make sure everything's locked.
0:07:12 > 0:07:14- What?- What's she doing? - I don't know.
0:07:16 > 0:07:17What are you doing?
0:07:19 > 0:07:21BELLS RING
0:07:31 > 0:07:34Brothers and sisters, let us acknowledge our sins.
0:07:37 > 0:07:42And so prepare ourselves to celebrate the sacred mysteries.
0:07:43 > 0:07:45'You're a thief, Kerrigan.
0:07:45 > 0:07:47'A thief!'
0:07:47 > 0:07:49What is he, boys?
0:07:49 > 0:07:52- BOYS ALL SHOUT:- Thief! Thief! Thief! Thief!
0:07:52 > 0:07:54Thief! Thief! Thief! Thief!
0:07:54 > 0:07:56Thief! Thief! Thief! Thief!
0:07:56 > 0:07:58A thief!
0:08:08 > 0:08:11The school stopped asking me for dinner money,
0:08:11 > 0:08:14so I stopped asking my mam for it.
0:08:14 > 0:08:19Went on for over a year and then they realised their mistake,
0:08:19 > 0:08:21and asked me what I'd done with all the money.
0:08:21 > 0:08:22I said I'd spent it.
0:08:24 > 0:08:27Better to be thought a thief than a pauper.
0:08:29 > 0:08:31Yeah. Is that a sin?
0:08:43 > 0:08:45I confess to Almighty God...
0:08:46 > 0:08:49- CONGREGATION JOINS:- And to you, my brothers and sisters,
0:08:49 > 0:08:53that I have greatly sinned, in my thoughts and in my words,
0:08:53 > 0:08:57in what I have done and in what I have failed to do.
0:08:57 > 0:08:59Through my fault, through my fault,
0:08:59 > 0:09:02through my most grievous fault.
0:09:02 > 0:09:06Therefore, I ask blessed Mary, ever-virgin, all the angels
0:09:06 > 0:09:09and saints and you, my brothers and sisters.
0:09:09 > 0:09:11Bernadette Jenkins is here.
0:09:12 > 0:09:15She gets the results of her scan Tuesday morning,
0:09:15 > 0:09:18so she's asked us to remember her in our prayers.
0:09:18 > 0:09:22And Helen Oyenusi's with us again today,
0:09:22 > 0:09:26which reminds me to remind you of tonight's candlelit vigil outside
0:09:26 > 0:09:29Laurel Road Police Station.
0:09:29 > 0:09:30All are welcome.
0:09:30 > 0:09:32Including police officers, Andrew.
0:09:33 > 0:09:35No implied criticism here.
0:09:53 > 0:09:55PHONE RINGS
0:09:57 > 0:09:59Hello, Michael Kerrigan.
0:09:59 > 0:10:01It's Roz Demichelis, Michael.
0:10:01 > 0:10:03Oh, how are you?
0:10:04 > 0:10:05Good, yeah, you?
0:10:05 > 0:10:07Yeah, I'm good, thank you.
0:10:08 > 0:10:10What's that?
0:10:10 > 0:10:11Microwave.
0:10:11 > 0:10:13I'm doing Singapore noodles.
0:10:13 > 0:10:16Is there no end to this man's talents?
0:10:17 > 0:10:19Listen, I can see into my boss's office.
0:10:19 > 0:10:21He's on the phone.
0:10:22 > 0:10:28There's a cheque on his desk for £1,900, payable to Elaine Coombs.
0:10:28 > 0:10:30But there is no Elaine Coombs. Elaine Coombs is me.
0:10:33 > 0:10:37If he's on to accounts, and I think he is, he'll be getting told
0:10:37 > 0:10:39that there are well over 100 similar cheques,
0:10:39 > 0:10:41payable to Elaine Coombs.
0:10:45 > 0:10:46All signed by me.
0:10:47 > 0:10:50Totals £232,648.
0:10:54 > 0:10:57I think he just said, "I can't believe it."
0:10:59 > 0:11:01I think he said it again.
0:11:04 > 0:11:06He's getting off the phone.
0:11:08 > 0:11:10He's coming out, he's coming over.
0:11:12 > 0:11:15So, yeah, so, I think that would be...
0:11:15 > 0:11:18Can I see you in the office, Roz?
0:11:18 > 0:11:20- Yeah. Just finish this call. - Yeah.
0:11:26 > 0:11:29Not to put too fine a point on it, Michael, but I am fucked.
0:11:29 > 0:11:30Can I help?
0:11:32 > 0:11:33Can I come and see you?
0:11:33 > 0:11:34Yes. When?
0:11:37 > 0:11:40Well, he's going to sack me, so I've got the rest of the day free.
0:11:41 > 0:11:44Unless he calls the police, but I'm going to ask him to defer
0:11:44 > 0:11:46that till tomorrow. So...
0:11:47 > 0:11:49..this afternoon?
0:11:49 > 0:11:50Yeah, three o'clock?
0:11:52 > 0:11:53Yeah. I'll see you then.
0:11:54 > 0:11:56Enjoy your noodles.
0:12:16 > 0:12:18What is it?
0:12:18 > 0:12:21I'm hoping you can sort something out, Roz.
0:12:21 > 0:12:24I'm praying you can sort it out.
0:12:24 > 0:12:25I'll do my best.
0:12:26 > 0:12:28Take a look at this.
0:12:31 > 0:12:33A cheque's been returned.
0:12:33 > 0:12:35- Why?- No date.
0:12:38 > 0:12:39Who's Elaine Coombs, Roz?
0:12:46 > 0:12:48Me.
0:12:51 > 0:12:54At least one cheque a month.
0:12:55 > 0:12:59All for just under two grand so they don't need countersigning.
0:13:02 > 0:13:04How much altogether?
0:13:07 > 0:13:11- Didn't they tell you? - They can only go back six years.
0:13:11 > 0:13:13I assume you've been at it longer than that.
0:13:18 > 0:13:20Eight years altogether.
0:13:22 > 0:13:24£232,648.
0:13:31 > 0:13:33Why?
0:13:34 > 0:13:36- I'm a thief.- No, no, no.
0:13:38 > 0:13:39Why?
0:13:41 > 0:13:42Why did you steal from me?
0:13:42 > 0:13:43What made you do it?
0:13:47 > 0:13:48- You want the truth?- Yeah.
0:13:51 > 0:13:53- The idiotic truth?- Yes.
0:13:58 > 0:13:59Coke.
0:14:04 > 0:14:05Nah.
0:14:05 > 0:14:08No, large gin and tonic, you're off your head.
0:14:08 > 0:14:11You snort 230K's worth of coke, I'd notice.
0:14:15 > 0:14:16It's gone, Jamie.
0:14:21 > 0:14:23I lived the good life for a while and now it's all gone.
0:14:23 > 0:14:24You're lying!
0:14:25 > 0:14:27Oh, you look good, Roz.
0:14:28 > 0:14:30You always look good.
0:14:30 > 0:14:32But I don't believe you've spent 250,000 on yourself
0:14:32 > 0:14:34over the last few years.
0:14:36 > 0:14:40You've lived in the same house since the day you married that gobshite.
0:14:40 > 0:14:43Your last holiday was a fortnight in Windermere,
0:14:43 > 0:14:45which doesn't exactly count as an exotic holiday.
0:14:45 > 0:14:47You've got a company car!
0:14:47 > 0:14:49So where's all this money?
0:14:49 > 0:14:50It's gone.
0:14:54 > 0:14:56You pay me it back...
0:14:56 > 0:14:57I don't phone the police.
0:14:57 > 0:15:00You're sacked, yeah, but no police involved.
0:15:00 > 0:15:01You don't pay me back...
0:15:03 > 0:15:07..you go down, Roz, and you go down for years.
0:15:07 > 0:15:11And if you think it's worth it, if you think you can just do
0:15:11 > 0:15:14a few years, come out with 200 grand stashed away somewhere,
0:15:14 > 0:15:16well think again.
0:15:16 > 0:15:18Cos they'll be all over you like a rash.
0:15:18 > 0:15:20They'll go through everything, Roz.
0:15:20 > 0:15:24Every penny you've spent, every bloody postage stamp you bought!
0:15:24 > 0:15:26They won't let you away with a carrot!
0:15:26 > 0:15:27They'll find nothing.
0:15:27 > 0:15:30And I'll do my bit too, cos I want my money back.
0:15:30 > 0:15:32I want every single penny back...
0:15:32 > 0:15:35and I won't rest till I've got it.
0:15:35 > 0:15:36I'll be watching you like a hawk.
0:15:36 > 0:15:37It's all gone, Jamie.
0:15:37 > 0:15:39- It can't all be gone! - Please, not my face.
0:15:47 > 0:15:51230 grand she's robbed, this thieving bitch!
0:15:51 > 0:15:52230 grand!
0:15:58 > 0:16:00Police, please.
0:16:00 > 0:16:02Can I ask you to wait till tomorrow, Jamie?
0:16:02 > 0:16:03What?
0:16:05 > 0:16:08- I've got things to do tonight. - What kind of things?
0:16:09 > 0:16:11- Things.- Tough.
0:16:15 > 0:16:16With the kids.
0:16:19 > 0:16:20I have things with the kids.
0:16:32 > 0:16:34Thank you.
0:17:07 > 0:17:11Then he told them that I was the thieving bitch who'd robbed
0:17:11 > 0:17:12200 grand off him.
0:17:14 > 0:17:16And I wished he had punched me.
0:17:20 > 0:17:22You think he's calling out there?
0:17:24 > 0:17:25Yeah.
0:17:26 > 0:17:27I do too.
0:17:31 > 0:17:34There are lots of different versions of the stations of the cross.
0:17:36 > 0:17:41Some have Christ falling three times, some just once.
0:17:41 > 0:17:47But some end with Christ entombed, some with him rising.
0:17:48 > 0:17:50But no matter what version you're looking at...
0:17:51 > 0:17:57there's one that's never there, and that's Christ calling out,
0:17:57 > 0:18:03on the cross, in despair, "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?"
0:18:04 > 0:18:08I think that's because they can't handle it.
0:18:08 > 0:18:12Christ, the Son of God, in despair.
0:18:12 > 0:18:13What chance have we got?
0:18:15 > 0:18:16But I'd always have that one.
0:18:18 > 0:18:19He knew despair, he understands.
0:18:22 > 0:18:25You know, one of the last people he spoke to alive, Roz,
0:18:25 > 0:18:27was a common thief.
0:18:29 > 0:18:31He'll speak to you.
0:18:32 > 0:18:35He'll be saying, right up to the very end,
0:18:35 > 0:18:37"Choose hope, not despair.
0:18:39 > 0:18:40"Life, not death."
0:19:01 > 0:19:03Is there any way you can pay it back?
0:19:05 > 0:19:07Have you got any money tied up in the house?
0:19:08 > 0:19:10No.
0:19:10 > 0:19:12Convince the judge you can pay it back.
0:19:12 > 0:19:15You see, you'd be looking at three years rather than four or five.
0:19:15 > 0:19:19You do half, don't forget. Get three years, that's only 18 months.
0:19:19 > 0:19:22And it's white collar, so you'll spend most of it in an open prison.
0:19:25 > 0:19:26How do you know all that?
0:19:26 > 0:19:28Internet.
0:19:37 > 0:19:38I'm grateful, Michael.
0:19:40 > 0:19:41I am.
0:19:42 > 0:19:44But I'm not going to prison. I'm afraid.
0:19:47 > 0:19:48Why?
0:19:49 > 0:19:50I mean, why now?
0:19:50 > 0:19:53You've done the hardest bit, you've faced him and told him.
0:19:53 > 0:19:56No, that's not the hardest bit.
0:19:56 > 0:19:58It's everyone knowing.
0:19:58 > 0:20:01Neighbours, friends, all wetting themselves with glee.
0:20:05 > 0:20:08You said that you've lived with shame, Michael, but you haven't.
0:20:08 > 0:20:10It's guilt that you've lived with.
0:20:10 > 0:20:13Guilt over the way you treated those women.
0:20:15 > 0:20:18Tell the world and then that's shame.
0:20:24 > 0:20:26Did you tell him it went on machines?
0:20:28 > 0:20:29- No.- Why not?
0:20:32 > 0:20:33I'd sooner him despise me than pity me.
0:20:37 > 0:20:39Yeah.
0:20:44 > 0:20:47Would you fuck me, Michael, please?
0:20:47 > 0:20:48What?
0:20:49 > 0:20:51I think you heard.
0:20:55 > 0:20:56I can't.
0:20:57 > 0:21:02I'm sure it would be a wonderful experience, but I can't.
0:21:05 > 0:21:07I'll be dead tomorrow, so nobody would know.
0:21:10 > 0:21:15I'll be dead tomorrow, so it's the least you can do.
0:21:16 > 0:21:19It's the least any gentleman can do.
0:21:21 > 0:21:22Yeah, well, I can't.
0:21:25 > 0:21:27You get a lot of offers?
0:21:28 > 0:21:30Yeah, a few.
0:21:30 > 0:21:32You get more wearing the collar though?
0:21:33 > 0:21:35- Yeah.- Yeah.
0:21:41 > 0:21:42How were you going to do it?
0:21:43 > 0:21:45We're here to talk about you, Roz.
0:21:47 > 0:21:48Was it a train?
0:21:49 > 0:21:51- Have you got your mobile?- Yeah.
0:21:53 > 0:21:55Put my number in, will you?
0:21:57 > 0:21:58How were you going to do it?
0:21:59 > 0:22:04My number is 07700900481.
0:22:07 > 0:22:09Just give it to me again.
0:22:09 > 0:22:14Yeah, 07700900481.
0:22:15 > 0:22:17Right.
0:22:17 > 0:22:19Phone me if you change your mind.
0:22:19 > 0:22:22If at any point you change your mind, early on, late on,
0:22:22 > 0:22:25very late on, phone me and I'll get to you.
0:22:26 > 0:22:28I won't change my mind.
0:22:28 > 0:22:30Well, promise me if you do then you'll call me?
0:22:32 > 0:22:33I promise.
0:22:39 > 0:22:41Where will you do it?
0:22:45 > 0:22:46At home, in my bed.
0:22:51 > 0:22:52Will the kids find you?
0:22:52 > 0:22:54No, no, they'll be at school.
0:22:57 > 0:22:58My ex, Paul's coming over.
0:22:58 > 0:23:00He thinks to fix the radiator in my bedroom.
0:23:00 > 0:23:02- He'll find me. - Please don't do it, Roz.
0:23:04 > 0:23:07How many politicians have there been caught with their fingers
0:23:07 > 0:23:10in the till? They're worse than you, cos they're bloody hypocrites.
0:23:10 > 0:23:13Laying down the law for others, breaking it themselves.
0:23:13 > 0:23:15They come out of prison and throw themselves into penal reform
0:23:15 > 0:23:18and campaigns for this, that and the other.
0:23:18 > 0:23:21Prison's the making of them, Roz, and it can be for you.
0:23:21 > 0:23:24Fight them. Fight those bloody machines and go to prison
0:23:24 > 0:23:26and come back out and fight them again.
0:23:26 > 0:23:28- I can't.- You can!
0:23:30 > 0:23:32You can.
0:23:32 > 0:23:34Look, there's a meeting tomorrow down at the council.
0:23:34 > 0:23:36- You come along... - No, I can't.
0:23:36 > 0:23:38Then let me tell someone about this. Let me...
0:23:38 > 0:23:39No!
0:23:50 > 0:23:52Will you join me in a prayer?
0:23:54 > 0:23:55Yeah.
0:23:58 > 0:23:59- Shall we?- Yeah.
0:24:05 > 0:24:07This is Roz Demichelis, Lord.
0:24:09 > 0:24:12She doesn't know how much you love her, how much she matters to you.
0:24:14 > 0:24:16Can you find some way of showing her?
0:24:18 > 0:24:19Thank you, Lord.
0:24:19 > 0:24:21- Amen.- Amen.
0:24:33 > 0:24:35Phone me, Roz, and I'll get to you.
0:24:46 > 0:24:48I'll get to you, Roz, I promise.
0:25:01 > 0:25:04You go to any food bank and you ask them what they need most
0:25:04 > 0:25:06and they'll tell you pasta. It's cheap and nutritious.
0:25:06 > 0:25:09You can feed an army. Bit of pasta, bit of sauce.
0:25:12 > 0:25:13How long's that now?
0:25:15 > 0:25:16Five minutes.
0:25:16 > 0:25:19Right. Is there any pink showing?
0:25:19 > 0:25:20No.
0:25:20 > 0:25:23That's the main thing. You don't want any pink.
0:25:24 > 0:25:26Open the sauce.
0:25:27 > 0:25:31Pink inside a steak's fine, but pink in a pan of mince, is a no-no.
0:25:31 > 0:25:33Right, pour the sauce in.
0:25:34 > 0:25:36Put the whole thing in.
0:25:40 > 0:25:41Are you watching this?
0:25:41 > 0:25:45- Yeah.- I am no longer cooking for you, do you understand that?
0:25:45 > 0:25:48Get that straight. I am not cooking for you.
0:25:50 > 0:25:51So what are you going to do?
0:25:51 > 0:25:53Chlo'll do it.
0:25:53 > 0:25:55No, she won't.
0:25:56 > 0:25:58She will be no man's skivvy.
0:25:59 > 0:26:02- So you need to watch how it's done, yeah?- Right.- Right.
0:26:05 > 0:26:07OK.
0:26:08 > 0:26:11Is it boiling?
0:26:11 > 0:26:14- Yeah.- All right, just turn it down and let it simmer.
0:26:17 > 0:26:18You don't want to boil it dry.
0:26:22 > 0:26:24All right, spaghetti.
0:26:24 > 0:26:26How much do you think we need for four?
0:26:29 > 0:26:31- All of it.- Yeah.
0:26:32 > 0:26:33Whack it in.
0:26:51 > 0:26:52You think it's bad, yeah?
0:26:54 > 0:26:55Yeah.
0:26:57 > 0:26:59Well, wait till you taste his pudding.
0:27:11 > 0:27:13- What are you doing?- What?
0:27:15 > 0:27:17- For God's sakes!- What?
0:27:17 > 0:27:19You don't turn it on until it's full and it's nowhere near full!
0:27:19 > 0:27:21Right, whatever!
0:27:21 > 0:27:23Don't talk to me like that!
0:27:23 > 0:27:25Running it when it's empty costs me money.
0:27:25 > 0:27:26I'm the one that has to find that.
0:27:26 > 0:27:30- It's not empty! - It's virtually empty, look at it.
0:27:30 > 0:27:33And this, this is just ridiculous.
0:27:33 > 0:27:36Common sense should tell you that that's just wrong.
0:27:36 > 0:27:37- Why?- Because...
0:27:38 > 0:27:41..spoons and forks should face the same way.
0:27:41 > 0:27:45If they face the same way they take up less space
0:27:45 > 0:27:48and we want this thing as full as possible before we switch it on,
0:27:48 > 0:27:50because it costs money to run.
0:27:50 > 0:27:51- Right?- Right!
0:27:53 > 0:27:56So spoons and forks the same way in future, yeah?
0:27:56 > 0:27:57Yeah.
0:27:57 > 0:27:59And what's this?
0:27:59 > 0:28:00A plate.
0:28:01 > 0:28:03It's filthy.
0:28:03 > 0:28:05They're all filthy.
0:28:05 > 0:28:06That's why they're in there.
0:28:06 > 0:28:09No, you rinse them before you put them in.
0:28:09 > 0:28:10There's two reasons for that.
0:28:10 > 0:28:12One, if you rinse them before you put them in,
0:28:12 > 0:28:14you don't clog the machine.
0:28:14 > 0:28:18- Two, we want it as full as possible before we turn it on, yes?- Yes.
0:28:18 > 0:28:21That's been established beyond all reasonable doubt, right?
0:28:21 > 0:28:25- Yes!- So there's going to be dishes in here overnight that are dirty.
0:28:26 > 0:28:29- I don't want them stinking up the kitchen.- Right!
0:28:41 > 0:28:42I'm so sick of this house.
0:28:49 > 0:28:52And I'm so sick of you and him acting the eejit.
0:28:52 > 0:28:54I'm just so sick of it!
0:29:10 > 0:29:11KNOCK ON DOOR
0:29:15 > 0:29:16Yeah?
0:29:16 > 0:29:18Can I come in?
0:29:18 > 0:29:19Yes.
0:29:23 > 0:29:24What you doing?
0:29:26 > 0:29:28Writing a letter to Auntie Jackie.
0:29:28 > 0:29:30She's on e-mail.
0:29:30 > 0:29:31I know.
0:29:32 > 0:29:34She likes getting letters.
0:29:36 > 0:29:37I brought you this.
0:29:39 > 0:29:40Thanks.
0:29:44 > 0:29:45Are you all right?
0:29:48 > 0:29:49Yeah.
0:29:52 > 0:29:54I'm sorry.
0:30:16 > 0:30:17Right.
0:30:29 > 0:30:30Write.
0:30:32 > 0:30:33I will.
0:30:45 > 0:30:53CROWD SINGS AMAZING GRACE
0:32:01 > 0:32:02Thanks for this.
0:32:06 > 0:32:09So how's the flashbacks going?
0:32:09 > 0:32:11Oh, I'm excelling myself.
0:32:11 > 0:32:12Flash forwards these days...
0:32:14 > 0:32:15..to purgatory.
0:32:15 > 0:32:19Cold wind, thin air, people telling each other bitter truths,
0:32:19 > 0:32:21purgatory as other people.
0:32:24 > 0:32:25Thanks.
0:32:28 > 0:32:31Someone in confession has told me she's going to kill herself.
0:32:33 > 0:32:35You believe her?
0:32:35 > 0:32:36Totally.
0:32:38 > 0:32:40I asked her if I could tell someone about it -
0:32:40 > 0:32:42openly, I mean - and she said no.
0:32:47 > 0:32:48What can I do?
0:32:52 > 0:32:53Is it imminent?
0:32:53 > 0:32:55Tomorrow.
0:32:55 > 0:32:57And have you told her if she changes her mind that she can...?
0:32:57 > 0:32:59Yeah, I've given my mobile number.
0:33:03 > 0:33:05I used to relish these prospects, Peter.
0:33:07 > 0:33:10All those stories of Catholic martyrs going to their deaths
0:33:10 > 0:33:13before breaking the seal of the confession.
0:33:16 > 0:33:18Yeah, I'll have some of that.
0:33:20 > 0:33:22They might even make me a saint.
0:33:24 > 0:33:27- But I never envisaged this. - No.
0:33:28 > 0:33:31I see it now for what it is, of course, the seal.
0:33:31 > 0:33:33It's a sales pitch.
0:33:33 > 0:33:35The best ever. Every religion wishes it had it.
0:33:35 > 0:33:38That's all it is, a bloody sales pitch.
0:33:38 > 0:33:40"Ten billion confessions heard, not one revealed.
0:33:40 > 0:33:42"Buy now while stocks last."
0:33:47 > 0:33:49Tell me I should tell someone.
0:33:55 > 0:33:56I'm back on the sugar.
0:34:02 > 0:34:05I know. It's pathetic, isn't it?
0:34:07 > 0:34:09I just didn't want you to know.
0:34:09 > 0:34:10Yeah.
0:34:12 > 0:34:15You see, the thing is, you could tell someone, and that someone
0:34:15 > 0:34:19could intervene and the likelihood is,
0:34:19 > 0:34:21is the next day she might kill herself.
0:34:21 > 0:34:24Only the next day, she doesn't have the option to call you,
0:34:24 > 0:34:25because guess what?
0:34:27 > 0:34:29What?
0:34:29 > 0:34:30You've betrayed her.
0:34:34 > 0:34:36Aye.
0:34:40 > 0:34:43- Do you know what we should do? - What?
0:34:43 > 0:34:44Pray.
0:34:47 > 0:34:49I nearly said, "Is that all?" God forgive me.
0:34:51 > 0:34:55Lord, lift up our weary spirits...
0:34:55 > 0:35:00- BOTH:- So that we might find rest and eternal peace within you.
0:35:00 > 0:35:05May we stand on mountains and walk on stormy seas.
0:35:05 > 0:35:08Give us that unspeakable joy to dance in the rain.
0:35:08 > 0:35:10- Amen.- Amen.
0:35:50 > 0:35:51See you, Mum!
0:37:49 > 0:37:50There we go.
0:37:52 > 0:37:53That's my boy.
0:39:10 > 0:39:12Father, it's shrunk!
0:39:14 > 0:39:16It's shrunk!
0:39:16 > 0:39:17Oh! Fantastic!
0:39:22 > 0:39:24Stay with your granny.
0:39:26 > 0:39:27There's a good boy.
0:39:30 > 0:39:31It's going to be nice.
0:39:45 > 0:39:46Surprise, surprise.
0:39:47 > 0:39:48Come in.
0:39:56 > 0:39:58Why are you here?
0:39:58 > 0:40:01I was hoping you would look after Woody for me.
0:40:01 > 0:40:02Who's Woody?
0:40:03 > 0:40:05The dog!
0:40:05 > 0:40:06Why? Where are you going?
0:40:08 > 0:40:10Work's really busy.
0:40:10 > 0:40:12He's on his own too much.
0:40:12 > 0:40:14What would I do with a dog?
0:40:15 > 0:40:17I thought he could keep you company.
0:40:17 > 0:40:19Do the kids not look after him?
0:40:19 > 0:40:20They're always out.
0:40:20 > 0:40:22You can't just give their dog away.
0:40:22 > 0:40:23He's my dog.
0:40:26 > 0:40:27They won't even notice.
0:40:30 > 0:40:31Will you take him or not?
0:40:33 > 0:40:35It'd need walking.
0:40:35 > 0:40:38Just for the toilet and then a little run later.
0:40:38 > 0:40:39It's no big deal.
0:40:39 > 0:40:42- Where would I take it? - Out the back field.
0:40:42 > 0:40:43Will you stop saying "it"?
0:40:44 > 0:40:46It's a boy.
0:40:49 > 0:40:50How long for?
0:40:53 > 0:40:56I'm not sure.
0:40:56 > 0:40:57A while.
0:40:58 > 0:41:00Will you come and see him?
0:41:10 > 0:41:11He won't cost you anything.
0:41:15 > 0:41:17Whatever.
0:41:18 > 0:41:20Can he stay?
0:41:20 > 0:41:21Yes.
0:41:28 > 0:41:31He sleeps upstairs, on the bed. Is that all right?
0:41:31 > 0:41:33- Are you sick?- No.
0:41:33 > 0:41:35Got a fella?
0:41:38 > 0:41:40- So what's wrong with you? - Nothing.
0:41:58 > 0:42:02Make sure you take water up to bed with you.
0:42:02 > 0:42:04And don't feed him shite food, or chocolate.
0:42:43 > 0:42:46PHONE RINGS
0:42:53 > 0:42:54Hi.
0:42:54 > 0:42:55Where are you?
0:42:57 > 0:42:59- Work.- Nan's been on.
0:43:01 > 0:43:03You've given her the dog?
0:43:05 > 0:43:07- Yeah.- Why?
0:43:09 > 0:43:11I don't want to look after him any more.
0:43:11 > 0:43:12Well, I'll look after him.
0:43:12 > 0:43:14'No, you won't, Chlo.'
0:43:14 > 0:43:16You'll do it for a week and then you'll get fed up again.
0:43:16 > 0:43:18She says you're acting strange.
0:43:18 > 0:43:19I'm acting strange?
0:43:20 > 0:43:21'What's wrong?'
0:43:23 > 0:43:24Nothing.
0:43:24 > 0:43:25Honestly.
0:43:28 > 0:43:29Bye.
0:44:19 > 0:44:20Are you going anywhere nice?
0:44:23 > 0:44:24I hope so.
0:44:33 > 0:44:35- What's the alternative? - Anything.
0:44:35 > 0:44:36Well, what exactly? A Harvey Nicks?
0:44:36 > 0:44:38I dunno. A charity shop, anything.
0:44:38 > 0:44:40Anything but another bloody betting shop.
0:44:40 > 0:44:42You wouldn't even get a charity shop.
0:44:42 > 0:44:45Look, there's four boarded up shops there already. This'll be five.
0:44:45 > 0:44:47Fine.
0:44:47 > 0:44:49Better boarded up than sucking the people dry,
0:44:49 > 0:44:50because that's all they're doing.
0:44:50 > 0:44:53I'm sorry, Father, but I'm getting a little bit sick of this, actually.
0:44:53 > 0:44:55- Is it all right if I speak my mind? - Yeah.
0:44:55 > 0:44:57Just forget your prayer that you've said at the start.
0:44:57 > 0:44:59- Please do.- OK.
0:44:59 > 0:45:01Well, I'm sorry, but I'm finding all of this
0:45:01 > 0:45:03a little bit hypocritical, actually.
0:45:03 > 0:45:06These machines are evil when they're in our betting shops,
0:45:06 > 0:45:08but they're fine when they're in your social club, Father.
0:45:08 > 0:45:10Two of them you've got.
0:45:10 > 0:45:12I mean, if gambling was so bad, then how come so much of it
0:45:12 > 0:45:14goes on in your parish?
0:45:14 > 0:45:16The spot the ball, the bonus ball, the raffle.
0:45:16 > 0:45:19You lose that, Father, and you'd be skint, you know it.
0:45:21 > 0:45:25Now, the firm I work for, it employs 15,000 people.
0:45:25 > 0:45:27That's 15,000 wage packets, on top of rates,
0:45:27 > 0:45:30corporation tax and God knows what else.
0:45:30 > 0:45:32You've got to see it's crucial, Father.
0:45:32 > 0:45:35First, I'm sorry I've upset you, Jean.
0:45:35 > 0:45:38Second, the machines in Saint Nick's
0:45:38 > 0:45:41are nothing like those in your shops.
0:45:41 > 0:45:43Ours take ten pence coins, yours take £10 notes.
0:45:45 > 0:45:48We'll come back to this, Jean, if that's OK.
0:45:48 > 0:45:52This is Roz Demichelis, everyone.
0:45:52 > 0:45:56I hope you don't mind, but I've invited her along today because she
0:45:56 > 0:45:58can speak from...
0:45:58 > 0:46:00personal experience on this matter. So...
0:46:02 > 0:46:03Isn't that right, Roz?
0:46:05 > 0:46:06Yeah.
0:46:09 > 0:46:10Yes.
0:46:32 > 0:46:33I'm Roz.
0:46:35 > 0:46:38I'm 45. I have three kids.
0:46:41 > 0:46:44For the past eight years, I've worked full time as an
0:46:44 > 0:46:47office manager in Bolthursts.
0:46:49 > 0:46:53Before that, I was a stay at home mum, which was nice.
0:46:54 > 0:46:56I have a good life.
0:47:00 > 0:47:01Had a good life.
0:47:07 > 0:47:12Yesterday, my boss, who's been a good friend to me...
0:47:13 > 0:47:16..found out that I took...
0:47:17 > 0:47:20..I've been taking - as in stealing - from him and his company.
0:47:25 > 0:47:30£232,648 is the total that I've...
0:47:31 > 0:47:32..taken from him.
0:47:35 > 0:47:36Stole from him.
0:47:45 > 0:47:49I used the money, the vast majority of it...
0:47:51 > 0:47:52..I put into...
0:47:54 > 0:47:56..machines in betting shops.
0:47:57 > 0:48:00Some of it was on online bingo,
0:48:00 > 0:48:04but most of it, I'd say 200 grand, it went into machines.
0:48:07 > 0:48:12I grew up, went to school, went to college, got a job,
0:48:12 > 0:48:16got a house, had kids, got a dog.
0:48:19 > 0:48:20I...
0:48:22 > 0:48:24I'm not anxious or depressed.
0:48:24 > 0:48:27I don't drink or snort coke
0:48:27 > 0:48:29and I'm not stupid.
0:48:31 > 0:48:33I'm not the cleverest person in the world.
0:48:33 > 0:48:37But I have a B in O-level Maths,
0:48:37 > 0:48:44and I know that the odds of feeding a machine and coming out on top
0:48:44 > 0:48:45are very slim.
0:48:48 > 0:48:49But that is what I did.
0:48:51 > 0:48:53I just started and I couldn't stop.
0:48:56 > 0:48:59If you'd have told me ten years ago, if you'd said
0:48:59 > 0:49:03that I would wind up here, I would have laughed in your face.
0:49:07 > 0:49:09I suppose everybody has their thing.
0:49:12 > 0:49:14The thing that makes them feel something...
0:49:17 > 0:49:19..when they can't feel anything.
0:49:21 > 0:49:23Or when they want to disappear.
0:49:27 > 0:49:30And those machines, they were my thing.
0:49:31 > 0:49:33I cared more about them than anything.
0:49:35 > 0:49:39And if my boss, my friend...
0:49:41 > 0:49:42..hadn't found out...
0:49:44 > 0:49:46..they would still be my thing.
0:49:51 > 0:49:54That's it.
0:49:54 > 0:49:55I mean, that's all, really.
0:49:59 > 0:50:00Just...
0:50:01 > 0:50:03I would say, just don't think that this is something
0:50:03 > 0:50:06that happens to other people.
0:50:06 > 0:50:07You know, other people that aren't like you,
0:50:07 > 0:50:11other people different from you.
0:50:11 > 0:50:14It could happen to your kid, you, your mother, your brother.
0:50:17 > 0:50:19Just don't let them near them.
0:50:21 > 0:50:22Because they are evil.
0:50:28 > 0:50:30That's it really. That's all.
0:50:33 > 0:50:34Just...
0:50:44 > 0:50:46I don't really have anything else to say.
0:50:46 > 0:50:49- Would it be OK if I leave? - Yeah.
0:50:49 > 0:50:50Yes.
0:51:28 > 0:51:29Well?
0:51:35 > 0:51:36Know-all.
0:52:08 > 0:52:09You did it.
0:52:12 > 0:52:14Central College, Garmoyle, please.
0:52:16 > 0:52:17You broke all the rules.
0:52:19 > 0:52:21Yes, put me through, please. Thanks.
0:52:24 > 0:52:25I'm only bending one.
0:52:26 > 0:52:29Oh, hello. You have a student there called Chloe Demichelis?
0:52:31 > 0:52:34The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ and the love of God and the
0:52:34 > 0:52:37communion of the Holy Spirit be with you all.
0:52:37 > 0:52:38- ALL:- And with your spirit.
0:52:39 > 0:52:41Brothers and sisters...
0:52:45 > 0:52:50..let us acknowledge our sins, and so prepare ourselves to celebrate
0:52:50 > 0:52:52the sacred mysteries.
0:52:52 > 0:52:57- ALL:- I confess to Almighty God and to you, my brothers and sisters,
0:52:57 > 0:53:02that I have greatly sinned in my thoughts and in my words,
0:53:02 > 0:53:06in what I have done and what I have failed to do.
0:53:07 > 0:53:09Through my fault, through my fault,
0:53:09 > 0:53:12through my most grievous fault.
0:53:12 > 0:53:17Therefore, I ask blessed Mary, ever virgin, all the angels and saints
0:53:17 > 0:53:22and you, my brothers and sisters, to pray for me to the Lord, our God.
0:53:23 > 0:53:25May Almighty God have mercy on us,
0:53:25 > 0:53:29forgive us our sins and bring us to everlasting life.
0:53:29 > 0:53:30Amen.
0:53:30 > 0:53:32Lord have mercy.
0:53:32 > 0:53:33Lord have mercy.
0:53:33 > 0:53:35- Christ have mercy. - Christ have mercy.
0:53:35 > 0:53:36Lord have mercy.
0:53:36 > 0:53:38- ALL:- Lord have mercy.
0:53:38 > 0:53:41I believe in God, the Father almighty,
0:53:41 > 0:53:46creator of heaven and Earth, and in Jesus Christ, his only Son,
0:53:46 > 0:53:50our Lord, who was conceived by the Holy Spirit,
0:53:50 > 0:53:55born of the Virgin Mary, suffered under Pontius Pilate,
0:53:55 > 0:53:58was crucified, died and was buried.
0:54:00 > 0:54:02He descended into hell.
0:54:02 > 0:54:05On the third day, he rose again from the dead.
0:54:05 > 0:54:09He ascended into heaven and is seated at the right hand of God,
0:54:09 > 0:54:11the Father almighty.
0:54:11 > 0:54:14From there, he will come to judge the living and the dead.
0:54:15 > 0:54:20I believe in the Holy Spirit, the holy Catholic Church,
0:54:20 > 0:54:23the communion of saints, the forgiveness of sins,
0:54:23 > 0:54:25the resurrection of the body,
0:54:25 > 0:54:27and everlasting life.
0:54:27 > 0:54:29Amen.
0:54:29 > 0:54:32- The Lord be with you. - And be with your spirit.
0:54:32 > 0:54:33Lift up your hearts.
0:54:33 > 0:54:35We lift them up to the Lord.
0:54:35 > 0:54:37Let us give thanks to the Lord, our God.
0:54:37 > 0:54:40It is right and just.
0:54:40 > 0:54:43Holy, holy, holy Lord God of hosts.
0:54:43 > 0:54:46Heaven and Earth are full of your glory.
0:54:46 > 0:54:48Hosanna in the highest.
0:54:48 > 0:54:52Blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord.
0:54:52 > 0:54:54Hosanna in the highest.
0:54:54 > 0:54:57Through him and with him and in him,
0:54:57 > 0:55:00O God, almighty Father, in the unity of the Holy Spirit,
0:55:00 > 0:55:04all glory and honour is yours, forever and ever.
0:55:04 > 0:55:06Amen.
0:55:06 > 0:55:10At the Saviour's command and formed by divine teaching we dare say...
0:55:10 > 0:55:15Our Father, who art in Heaven, hallowed be thy name,
0:55:15 > 0:55:20thy kingdom come, thy will be done on Earth as it is in Heaven.
0:55:20 > 0:55:25Give us this day our daily bread, and forgive us our trespasses
0:55:25 > 0:55:28as we forgive those who trespass against us.
0:55:29 > 0:55:33And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.
0:55:34 > 0:55:37Deliver us, Lord, we pray, from every evil.
0:55:37 > 0:55:42Graciously grant peace in our days that, by the help of your mercy,
0:55:42 > 0:55:45we may be always free from sin and safe from all distress.
0:56:06 > 0:56:12As we await the blessed hope and the coming of our Saviour, Jesus Christ.
0:56:12 > 0:56:17For the kingdom, the power and the glory are yours now and forever.
0:56:17 > 0:56:23Lamb of God, you take away the sins of the world, have mercy on us.
0:56:23 > 0:56:27Lamb of God, you take away the sins of the world, have mercy on us.
0:56:28 > 0:56:33Lamb of God, you take away the sins of the world, grant us peace.
0:56:34 > 0:56:35Behold the Lamb of God.
0:56:35 > 0:56:36MICHAEL'S PHONE RINGS
0:56:36 > 0:56:39Behold him who takes away the sins of the world.
0:56:39 > 0:56:43Blessed are those called to the supper of the lamb.
0:56:43 > 0:56:48Lord, I am not worthy that you should enter under my roof,
0:56:48 > 0:56:51but only say the word and my soul shall be healed.
0:56:53 > 0:56:55- The body of Christ.- Amen.
0:56:57 > 0:56:59- The body of Christ.- Amen.
0:57:24 > 0:57:26- ROZ:- 'I changed my plans, Michael.
0:57:26 > 0:57:29'Worried you might intervene.
0:57:29 > 0:57:31'Which would have been touching, but misguided.
0:57:33 > 0:57:34'Bye, Michael.'
0:58:03 > 0:58:05# We are lost
0:58:05 > 0:58:07# We are scattered
0:58:08 > 0:58:10# We're barmy and we're battered
0:58:11 > 0:58:16# We might be bruised but we're not broken
0:58:17 > 0:58:20# Hallelujah
0:58:20 > 0:58:22# Hallelujah
0:58:23 > 0:58:28# We might be bruised but we're not broken. #