0:00:02 > 0:00:05- I changed my plans, Michael. Worried you might intervene.- How is she?
0:00:05 > 0:00:07Not good. She won't tell you that, but she's not good.
0:00:07 > 0:00:11I'm scared there's no Heaven. Death is just the end.
0:00:11 > 0:00:14- And I'm scared of that end. - So, how's the flashbacks going?
0:00:14 > 0:00:16Flash-forwards, these days.
0:00:16 > 0:00:19It's purgatory, people telling each other bitter truths.
0:00:19 > 0:00:21You made me a self-loathing wreck!
0:00:21 > 0:00:23And the phone rang.
0:00:23 > 0:00:26Helen Oyenusi about Vernon.
0:00:26 > 0:00:29I didn't pick up. A few hours later, he was dead.
0:00:29 > 0:00:30They won't let me see him.
0:00:30 > 0:00:33Some police officers in my parish have... They've killed a young man.
0:00:33 > 0:00:37They're all colluding, protecting the officers responsible.
0:00:37 > 0:00:39I'd like to bury my son.
0:00:43 > 0:00:51This programme contains some strong language
0:00:52 > 0:00:57# Broken windows in empty hallways
0:00:57 > 0:01:01# A pale dead moon in a sky streaked with grey
0:01:03 > 0:01:08# Human kindness is overflowing
0:01:08 > 0:01:12# And I think it's gonna rain...
0:01:12 > 0:01:14# Today. #
0:01:25 > 0:01:28I'm going to sprinkle Roz's coffin with holy water now.
0:01:28 > 0:01:31To remind us of her baptism.
0:01:35 > 0:01:37Jesus said to her,
0:01:37 > 0:01:39"I am the resurrection and the life.
0:01:39 > 0:01:43"Whoever believes in me shall live, even in death.
0:01:43 > 0:01:47"And whoever lives and believes in me shall never die."
0:01:50 > 0:01:54Eternal rest grant unto her, oh, Lord.
0:01:54 > 0:01:57And let perpetual light shine upon her.
0:01:57 > 0:01:59May she rest in peace.
0:01:59 > 0:02:00Amen.
0:02:00 > 0:02:04May her soul and the souls of all the faithful departed,
0:02:04 > 0:02:07through the mercy of God, rest in peace.
0:02:07 > 0:02:08Amen.
0:02:12 > 0:02:14WOMAN CRIES
0:02:45 > 0:02:47- May I scrounge a lift from you?- Yes.
0:02:52 > 0:02:53She was never religious.
0:02:54 > 0:02:57No?
0:02:57 > 0:02:58No. HE LAUGHS
0:03:00 > 0:03:02So how did you meet?
0:03:02 > 0:03:04She came to see me.
0:03:05 > 0:03:07To tell you what she decided to do?
0:03:10 > 0:03:12I can't tell you that, Chloe.
0:03:15 > 0:03:16Did she talk about us?
0:03:16 > 0:03:17Oh, yes.
0:03:19 > 0:03:21She said she loved you very much. You and the boys.
0:03:23 > 0:03:24It didn't stop her, though, did it?
0:03:26 > 0:03:28- Didn't her letter explain it all? - No.
0:03:30 > 0:03:32That was all about how much she loved us.
0:03:37 > 0:03:39Do you think she wanted you to talk her out of it?
0:03:41 > 0:03:43Perhaps.
0:03:43 > 0:03:45Did you try?
0:03:47 > 0:03:49Yes, I tried very hard.
0:03:53 > 0:03:54I'm going to pay it all back.
0:03:54 > 0:03:59- Oh... No-one expects that of you. - I expect it of me.
0:04:01 > 0:04:04It'll take me years, but I'm going to pay it all back.
0:04:04 > 0:04:06Every penny.
0:04:16 > 0:04:19Thanks very much. I appreciate it. Hiya.
0:04:30 > 0:04:32Chloe says she's going to pay it all back.
0:04:34 > 0:04:37Do you know how much?
0:04:37 > 0:04:41Yeah, just over 230,000, I think she said.
0:04:41 > 0:04:42Yeah.
0:04:45 > 0:04:47The night she told me...
0:04:47 > 0:04:48I couldn't sleep.
0:04:50 > 0:04:51I was so angry.
0:04:52 > 0:04:57And now if you pay me it back, I'd...burn it.
0:05:00 > 0:05:01She lost it all on the machines?
0:05:01 > 0:05:03Yeah.
0:05:03 > 0:05:05Well, that helps.
0:05:06 > 0:05:09I thought she robbed me because she could, but...
0:05:09 > 0:05:13- she did it because she had to. - Yeah. She did.
0:05:15 > 0:05:18They're all in a pension scheme at work.
0:05:18 > 0:05:19Lump sum on death.
0:05:21 > 0:05:22And death in service pays double.
0:05:25 > 0:05:26Oh, the irony, Father.
0:05:28 > 0:05:30In life, she lost it all.
0:05:31 > 0:05:33In death, she hit the jackpot.
0:05:37 > 0:05:40- You don't need to reproach yourself about it.- You want to bet?
0:05:42 > 0:05:43No pun intended.
0:05:44 > 0:05:47I told her I was phoning the police. That's what did it.
0:05:47 > 0:05:51Look, she'd resolved to kill herself weeks before.
0:05:51 > 0:05:53It was the shame that did it.
0:05:53 > 0:05:57What you said, it...didn't make any difference.
0:06:00 > 0:06:01I want to believe that so much.
0:06:01 > 0:06:03It's the truth.
0:06:04 > 0:06:05It's the truth.
0:06:09 > 0:06:10Thank you.
0:06:15 > 0:06:16Yeah, take care.
0:06:28 > 0:06:30It's cold.
0:06:30 > 0:06:33Right. We'll see if she's in.
0:06:33 > 0:06:34You all right?
0:06:38 > 0:06:39Hey, love...
0:06:41 > 0:06:42I'm sorry to bother you.
0:06:42 > 0:06:45- Are you a friend of Helen's? - I'm her brother.
0:06:45 > 0:06:47Oh, lovely to meet you.
0:06:47 > 0:06:50I'm Carl. I live just across the road.
0:06:55 > 0:06:56I'm so sorry for your loss.
0:06:59 > 0:07:01Have you come far?
0:07:01 > 0:07:03Trinidad.
0:07:03 > 0:07:04Well, I won't keep you.
0:07:04 > 0:07:07Would you mind passing these on to Helen for me?
0:07:07 > 0:07:10Tell her I've been meaning to call over for ages,
0:07:10 > 0:07:12but I didn't like to intrude.
0:07:14 > 0:07:17You can't get anything like these around here.
0:07:17 > 0:07:19I had to go all the way into town to get them.
0:07:19 > 0:07:21Gladioli.
0:07:22 > 0:07:24Flamboyant rather than garish, I feel.
0:07:26 > 0:07:29Boys, take your luggage and go and stand by the door.
0:07:29 > 0:07:31- Why?- Why?
0:07:31 > 0:07:33Boys, luggage.
0:07:35 > 0:07:36I hope she likes them.
0:07:39 > 0:07:41You can leave them there with the rest.
0:07:44 > 0:07:47- Well, I was hoping perhaps that you could...- There is fine.
0:07:53 > 0:07:55Maybe I'll just leave it for now, then.
0:08:05 > 0:08:07Are you well, Michael?
0:08:07 > 0:08:08Me? Yeah.
0:08:10 > 0:08:14You seemed troubled...at mass.
0:08:14 > 0:08:15Helen!
0:08:17 > 0:08:19Oh!
0:08:20 > 0:08:23SHE SCREAMS
0:08:29 > 0:08:32They were sending him home.
0:08:32 > 0:08:37He was "the least unwell", they said.
0:08:37 > 0:08:41Michael said, "Least unwell isn't well,"
0:08:41 > 0:08:42and they agreed...
0:08:44 > 0:08:47..but they needed his bed for someone a lot worse than him.
0:08:49 > 0:08:51So he came home.
0:08:51 > 0:08:54And he got worse and worse.
0:08:58 > 0:09:01He asked me to phone Michael,
0:09:01 > 0:09:04and I did, but Michael was asleep in bed...
0:09:06 > 0:09:09So I phoned the crisis team.
0:09:11 > 0:09:14If I hadn't done that, he'd be alive today...
0:09:14 > 0:09:19The crisis team came, but Vernon had the chain on the door
0:09:19 > 0:09:21and he put the knife to his throat
0:09:21 > 0:09:24and he said he'd kill himself before he let them in.
0:09:26 > 0:09:28So they phoned the police.
0:09:30 > 0:09:33Why they did that, I don't understand,
0:09:33 > 0:09:35and the police came and...
0:09:37 > 0:09:38Where was he shot?
0:09:38 > 0:09:40There.
0:09:40 > 0:09:41No.
0:09:42 > 0:09:44Where in his body?
0:09:47 > 0:09:49In his heart.
0:09:51 > 0:09:52KNOCKING
0:09:53 > 0:09:55I'll get it.
0:09:55 > 0:09:57KNOCKING
0:10:03 > 0:10:05KNOCKING
0:10:05 > 0:10:06What's going on?
0:10:06 > 0:10:10Just need a quick word about those boys of yours.
0:10:10 > 0:10:13- Yes?- One of them pushed the other against my door.
0:10:13 > 0:10:15When I asked them to move, they shouted abuse at me.
0:10:15 > 0:10:18- Abuse? - Called me a queer, to be precise.
0:10:18 > 0:10:21Now, look, I'm pushing 50,
0:10:21 > 0:10:23I can do without this kind of crap on my own doorstep, yeah?
0:10:23 > 0:10:25You approached my sons?
0:10:25 > 0:10:27I asked them to move, yes.
0:10:27 > 0:10:28Did you touch them?
0:10:28 > 0:10:30Of course I didn't. What are you implying?
0:10:30 > 0:10:34Don't go anywhere near my sons again, you hear me?
0:10:34 > 0:10:37Well, it's no wonder they carry on like that, if that's your attitude.
0:10:37 > 0:10:39What do you expect? They're children.
0:10:39 > 0:10:41I expect an apology.
0:10:41 > 0:10:42No.
0:10:42 > 0:10:44For them to apologise, they'd have to talk to you,
0:10:44 > 0:10:47and my children will have nothing to do with the likes of you.
0:10:47 > 0:10:49- The likes of me?- Yes.
0:10:49 > 0:10:50What do you mean by that?
0:10:50 > 0:10:51You know exactly what I mean.
0:10:51 > 0:10:53I'm gay, is that what you're saying?
0:10:53 > 0:10:55I don't really recognise that word.
0:10:55 > 0:10:58I'm gay, therefore your boys can call me queer.
0:10:58 > 0:11:02Fine, so next time I see you in the street I can call you nigger, yeah?
0:11:02 > 0:11:03Bye.
0:11:04 > 0:11:06What did you just say?
0:11:06 > 0:11:09I said they call me queer, I call you...
0:11:09 > 0:11:13Hey, Daniel! What the hell's going on?
0:11:13 > 0:11:14Ask him.
0:11:19 > 0:11:21Are you OK?
0:11:21 > 0:11:23What was all that about?
0:11:23 > 0:11:25What did you say to him?
0:11:25 > 0:11:27Hey, are you all right?
0:11:28 > 0:11:31You need to put something on that. Some frozen peas.
0:11:31 > 0:11:33I don't need your advice, thank you very much.
0:11:38 > 0:11:40Nothing to say for yourselves?
0:11:40 > 0:11:42I mean, what the hell do you think you're playing at?
0:11:42 > 0:11:44Get upstairs and get out of my sight.
0:11:44 > 0:11:46I don't want to hear from you!
0:11:48 > 0:11:50What's going on?
0:11:50 > 0:11:52Nothing, Helen.
0:11:52 > 0:11:55Come on, let's go inside.
0:12:42 > 0:12:44Hello. Can we come in?
0:12:44 > 0:12:46Yeah.
0:12:52 > 0:12:54He's coming home?
0:12:54 > 0:12:55Sorry?
0:12:55 > 0:12:57Vernon. He's coming home?
0:12:57 > 0:13:00Mrs Oyenusi, we're so sorry for your loss
0:13:00 > 0:13:02and we offer our heartfelt condolences,
0:13:02 > 0:13:05but we're not here about Vernon.
0:13:06 > 0:13:08So why are you here?
0:13:09 > 0:13:11Are you Mrs Oyenusi's brother?
0:13:11 > 0:13:13Yes.
0:13:13 > 0:13:14Could I take your name please, sir?
0:13:14 > 0:13:16Daniel. Daniel Martin.
0:13:16 > 0:13:18And how are you spelling that?
0:13:18 > 0:13:22M-A-R-T-I-N. Why?
0:13:22 > 0:13:25Mr Martin, we've received a complaint that you assaulted
0:13:25 > 0:13:28a man just outside at roughly 2.15 this afternoon.
0:13:28 > 0:13:30What are you talking about?
0:13:30 > 0:13:31Is this a joke?
0:13:31 > 0:13:33We wouldn't joke about something as serious as this.
0:13:33 > 0:13:35Serious?
0:13:35 > 0:13:39Sir, the man alleges it was a homophobic attack. A hate crime.
0:13:39 > 0:13:43If found guilty of a hate crime, you will go to prison, sir.
0:13:43 > 0:13:45Yes, sir. Very serious.
0:13:45 > 0:13:51More serious than the killing of a black teenager by white police officers?
0:13:51 > 0:13:53I see what you're doing here, officer.
0:13:53 > 0:13:54You've killed a young man,
0:13:54 > 0:13:58therefore discredit him and all his family, yeah?
0:13:58 > 0:14:00Did you assault Carl McKenna, sir?
0:14:00 > 0:14:01Carl!
0:14:01 > 0:14:05He came here hurling racist abuse, but I did not assault him.
0:14:05 > 0:14:07Carl wouldn't do that.
0:14:07 > 0:14:11He says you witnessed it, Father. It is Father, is it?
0:14:11 > 0:14:13Yeah, Michael will do.
0:14:13 > 0:14:16What did you see, Michael?
0:14:17 > 0:14:19I'll need some time to think about that.
0:14:19 > 0:14:22- Time?- Yeah.
0:14:22 > 0:14:26It's a very simple thing, Michael. Just tell us what you saw.
0:14:26 > 0:14:27- Simple?- Yeah.
0:14:27 > 0:14:29Lots of officers witnessed Vernon's death,
0:14:29 > 0:14:31yet not one of them has said what they saw.
0:14:31 > 0:14:33Why is that, if it's so simple?
0:14:39 > 0:14:41How long will you need to think about it?
0:14:43 > 0:14:45I don't know, a day or two.
0:14:53 > 0:14:56KNOCKING
0:15:02 > 0:15:03Hello again.
0:15:05 > 0:15:07What do you want?
0:15:07 > 0:15:10Frozen peas. Put them on the pain.
0:15:10 > 0:15:13Wrap them in a cloth first or they'll stick to it.
0:15:13 > 0:15:16You've had direct experience, have you?
0:15:16 > 0:15:17Yeah.
0:15:17 > 0:15:20Before I was a priest, I was a professional gobshite.
0:15:20 > 0:15:22Quite a few people took a swing at me.
0:15:25 > 0:15:27I'm Michael.
0:15:27 > 0:15:30Carl. What can I do for you, Michael?
0:15:30 > 0:15:31Can I come in?
0:15:31 > 0:15:32It's not the Ritz.
0:15:32 > 0:15:34Oh, I don't mind.
0:15:36 > 0:15:38MUSIC PLAYS
0:15:41 > 0:15:45Quentin Crisp says after the third year the dust doesn't get any worse.
0:15:45 > 0:15:47I live in hope.
0:15:49 > 0:15:52Oh, listen. Get out, you, will you?
0:15:53 > 0:15:57Sorry. Have a seat, Father. Let me turn that off.
0:15:57 > 0:15:58Ah, thanks.
0:15:58 > 0:16:00Would you like a drink? A cup of tea, or anything...?
0:16:00 > 0:16:03No, no, I'm fine. Thank you.
0:16:17 > 0:16:19Brenda.
0:16:19 > 0:16:21My mum.
0:16:25 > 0:16:27Forgive me, Father, it's the only thing that stops
0:16:27 > 0:16:30my poor little nerves from jangling since she passed.
0:16:33 > 0:16:35I'm not ready to let go of her just yet, you know?
0:16:37 > 0:16:39Yeah, some people never scatter the ashes.
0:16:39 > 0:16:42Others find it helps them let go.
0:16:42 > 0:16:43I smoked some.
0:16:45 > 0:16:46Sorry?
0:16:46 > 0:16:50When they first came back, I sprinkled a tiny bit into a spliff.
0:16:51 > 0:16:53I was beside myself,
0:16:53 > 0:16:57I hoped it would make her a part of me forever, you know?
0:16:57 > 0:17:00But I've since read very little of the body remains,
0:17:00 > 0:17:03so the only thing I got inside me was oak veneer.
0:17:06 > 0:17:09It'll be three months on Thursday.
0:17:13 > 0:17:15The dreaded C word.
0:17:16 > 0:17:19I never knew it was possible to miss someone so much.
0:17:19 > 0:17:23I'm 49 years of age, I've never left home.
0:17:23 > 0:17:25We did everything together.
0:17:36 > 0:17:37What do you want?
0:17:39 > 0:17:42I want to talk to you about this afternoon.
0:17:46 > 0:17:47Why?
0:17:47 > 0:17:50Well, I want to hear your side of the story.
0:17:55 > 0:17:56I have to go to the shops.
0:17:56 > 0:17:59I'll tell it to you on the way, OK?
0:18:07 > 0:18:11I love it here. I cut through most days.
0:18:22 > 0:18:24Just look at that stonework.
0:18:24 > 0:18:26It's sublime, isn't it?
0:18:29 > 0:18:31Catacomb!
0:18:32 > 0:18:34Catacomb.
0:18:37 > 0:18:41Did you ever hear such a terrifying word in your entire life?
0:18:41 > 0:18:43Catacomb.
0:18:52 > 0:18:56I first saw him getting out of a cab outside Helen's.
0:18:56 > 0:19:00I approached him and I asked him to pass on some flowers to her,
0:19:00 > 0:19:02but he refused.
0:19:02 > 0:19:04He didn't give an explanation.
0:19:04 > 0:19:06He didn't have to.
0:19:06 > 0:19:09Homophobia can be very subtle like that, you know? You just know.
0:19:09 > 0:19:11Yeah.
0:19:11 > 0:19:15Then a few hours later, his boys were messing about outside my door
0:19:15 > 0:19:18and one of them pushed the other against it, so I went out
0:19:18 > 0:19:22and I asked them, politely, to move further down the street.
0:19:24 > 0:19:27They called me a queer and ran off, laughing.
0:19:29 > 0:19:32So I knocked at Helen's, and I told him what happened.
0:19:34 > 0:19:37Now, instead of reprimanding them, he warned me
0:19:37 > 0:19:41never to approach his children again, like I'm some kind of a...
0:19:41 > 0:19:42- Yeah.- You know.
0:19:45 > 0:19:48When I realised there was no apology forthcoming, I couldn't help myself.
0:19:48 > 0:19:50I turned around to him and I told him, I said, yeah,
0:19:50 > 0:19:54maybe when I see you walking down the street I might feel compelled
0:19:54 > 0:19:57- to call you by a certain name and see how you like it.- Yeah.
0:20:01 > 0:20:03It was at that point that you entered stage left
0:20:03 > 0:20:05for the dramatic finale.
0:20:08 > 0:20:12Look, there's never any justification for violence,
0:20:12 > 0:20:15but that family, they've already suffered so much.
0:20:15 > 0:20:17You don't have to tell me, Father.
0:20:17 > 0:20:22What those bastards - excuse my French - did to poor Vernon.
0:20:24 > 0:20:25That was unforgivable.
0:20:26 > 0:20:31He was a good lad. He always gave me the time of day.
0:20:31 > 0:20:34Look, I'm not trying to make excuses for him,
0:20:34 > 0:20:37but he'd just arrived on a very long flight
0:20:37 > 0:20:38from a totally different culture,
0:20:38 > 0:20:41he was jet-lagged, grieving...
0:20:41 > 0:20:46I'm grieving, I don't go round punching innocent people in the face.
0:20:48 > 0:20:49Entrez.
0:20:51 > 0:20:53What are you doing?
0:20:53 > 0:20:57Sorry, Father, but I'm gaggin'. My nerves...
0:21:00 > 0:21:03I don't really think you should be...doing that here.
0:21:03 > 0:21:06What else do you think phone boxes are for these days?
0:21:06 > 0:21:10Oh, someone's been on the beak here.
0:21:11 > 0:21:13Cocaine.
0:21:18 > 0:21:21So what made you become a priest?
0:21:21 > 0:21:24Oh, please tell me it was sunbeams through the window,
0:21:24 > 0:21:28bathing you in iridescent light, and the sound of heavenly choirs...
0:21:28 > 0:21:31If only it had been that obvious.
0:21:31 > 0:21:34Don't mind me, I watch too many films.
0:21:36 > 0:21:38Are you celibate?
0:21:38 > 0:21:39Yes.
0:21:40 > 0:21:43I am, too - not by choice, I can tell you.
0:21:46 > 0:21:48Are you allowed to have a wank?
0:21:50 > 0:21:51HE LAUGHS
0:21:51 > 0:21:54I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked.
0:21:54 > 0:21:56I've often wondered but I've never had the chance to ask until now.
0:21:56 > 0:21:59Let's face it, it's not every day you find yourself skinning up
0:21:59 > 0:22:02with a Catholic priest in a public phone box now, is it?
0:22:07 > 0:22:11The church teaches that any sexual activity outside marriage is wrong.
0:22:13 > 0:22:16I'll take that as a yes, then, shall I?
0:22:42 > 0:22:45Mind the cat now.
0:22:45 > 0:22:48The cat never took a liking to me.
0:22:48 > 0:22:51The only reason I look after the bastard is for Brenda.
0:22:56 > 0:22:59Thanks very much, I enjoyed that.
0:22:59 > 0:23:00Yeah.
0:23:03 > 0:23:04Do you sleep down here?
0:23:04 > 0:23:06Hmm?
0:23:06 > 0:23:08I said, do you sleep down here?
0:23:08 > 0:23:12I don't really like going upstairs since Brenda passed.
0:23:12 > 0:23:15Besides, it's freezing up there and I've got no gas.
0:23:16 > 0:23:18How do you mean?
0:23:18 > 0:23:22They've got me on one of these pre-paid meter things, you know.
0:23:22 > 0:23:23But it's not worth putting anything on it.
0:23:23 > 0:23:25Why not?
0:23:25 > 0:23:26Cos I owe them a fortune,
0:23:26 > 0:23:30so if I put a tenner on the key they take most of it back straight away
0:23:30 > 0:23:33and then shit's run out again before you know it...
0:23:33 > 0:23:34But it's been perishing.
0:23:34 > 0:23:38You wouldn't believe the heat that little beauty gives out.
0:23:39 > 0:23:42So how... How do you do your cooking?
0:23:42 > 0:23:44I don't.
0:23:45 > 0:23:48Well, look, I can't do anything about your gas,
0:23:48 > 0:23:51but I can arrange vouchers for the food bank
0:23:51 > 0:23:53if you ever felt you needed...
0:23:53 > 0:23:54What?
0:23:54 > 0:23:57You think I don't know what this is really about?
0:24:00 > 0:24:04You want me to forget everything, don't you?
0:24:04 > 0:24:05Yeah.
0:24:05 > 0:24:08Helen's going through hell right now.
0:24:08 > 0:24:11- I know.- This is the last thing she needs.- I know.
0:24:11 > 0:24:13He's come over to ease her grief, but he's adding to it.
0:24:13 > 0:24:16I know. I'm more than happy to forget everything, Michael.
0:24:17 > 0:24:20Well, thank you, Carl, thank you. I appreciate that.
0:24:20 > 0:24:25The moment he comes over here and shakes my hand, it's all forgotten.
0:24:31 > 0:24:33All right, thanks.
0:24:46 > 0:24:47Shake his hand?
0:24:49 > 0:24:53Father, I'm disappointed you would even suggest such a thing.
0:24:53 > 0:24:54I just think for the sake of...
0:24:54 > 0:24:57Have you forgotten what he called me?
0:24:57 > 0:25:01Daniel, would it be so hard to swallow your pride just this once?
0:25:01 > 0:25:04Helen, this isn't about pride, this is about what is right.
0:25:04 > 0:25:06I'm sure if you actually spoke to Carl
0:25:06 > 0:25:08you'd be able to find some common ground.
0:25:08 > 0:25:12He's grieving too. He only lost his mother a few months back.
0:25:13 > 0:25:17Are you seriously comparing his grief to what we are going through?
0:25:17 > 0:25:19No! No, of course not, I'm just saying...
0:25:19 > 0:25:24- Father, my sister has lost her only son...- Yes.
0:25:24 > 0:25:26..I have lost my nephew
0:25:26 > 0:25:30and the only thing we care about right now is bringing Vernon home.
0:25:30 > 0:25:32Everything else is totally irrelevant,
0:25:32 > 0:25:36so as far as I am concerned, that man can go to hell.
0:25:52 > 0:25:55- Oh!- He's got a strike!
0:25:55 > 0:25:57Is he going to snatch victory out of the jaws of defeat?
0:25:57 > 0:26:00- It helps to go halfway down the alley, doesn't it?- Bollocks!
0:26:00 > 0:26:02Any closer, you could have pushed 'em over.
0:26:02 > 0:26:05- Hey! My foot was behind that line. - Were it shite.- It were!
0:26:05 > 0:26:07What do we do if it's a foul throw?
0:26:07 > 0:26:09- Were it a foul?- Yes!
0:26:09 > 0:26:11- No, it was not. It was not. - He's cheated.
0:26:11 > 0:26:14He has to feel sorry for his opponents,
0:26:14 > 0:26:19up against a man at the peak of his power.
0:26:19 > 0:26:21We'll never hear the last of this, now.
0:26:21 > 0:26:23There's people on the pitch.
0:26:23 > 0:26:25We're watching your feet.
0:26:25 > 0:26:28Yeah. They think it's all over...
0:26:28 > 0:26:29Over that line, it's a foul.
0:26:29 > 0:26:32- Oh, it's bang-on.- Oh, no!
0:26:32 > 0:26:34- It is now!- Bloody hell!
0:26:34 > 0:26:36Bloody hellfire!
0:26:36 > 0:26:38I can't believe it!
0:26:38 > 0:26:39Can you believe that?
0:26:55 > 0:26:58Behold the Lamb of God,
0:26:58 > 0:27:03behold him who takes away the sins of the world.
0:27:03 > 0:27:06Blessed are those called to the supper of the lamb.
0:27:08 > 0:27:10- BOTH:- Lord, I am not worthy
0:27:10 > 0:27:14that you should enter under my roof,
0:27:14 > 0:27:21but only say the word and my soul shall be healed.
0:27:38 > 0:27:39The body of Christ.
0:27:59 > 0:28:02The blood of Christ.
0:28:02 > 0:28:03Amen.
0:28:39 > 0:28:43Oh, Mam.
0:28:47 > 0:28:49Oh, Mam!
0:28:59 > 0:29:01KNOCKING
0:29:01 > 0:29:04Open that door! I know you're in there!
0:29:04 > 0:29:06Come on, open the door,
0:29:06 > 0:29:09I can't be standing on this doorstep all day and night!
0:29:09 > 0:29:13Come on! Open up! I want my money.
0:29:13 > 0:29:17I saw him go in there!
0:29:17 > 0:29:18Come on!
0:29:40 > 0:29:42Oh, hello.
0:29:43 > 0:29:45Do you want to come through?
0:29:59 > 0:30:00You're not used to this?
0:30:02 > 0:30:05It's how it is these days.
0:30:05 > 0:30:08I could turn the chair around, face that way.
0:30:10 > 0:30:13We could go elsewhere, somewhere traditional.
0:30:13 > 0:30:14Please.
0:30:18 > 0:30:21Right. Follow me.
0:30:33 > 0:30:35You go in there. I go in here.
0:30:43 > 0:30:45Is that better?
0:30:45 > 0:30:47Yes, thank you.
0:30:50 > 0:30:55I confess to Almighty God, to Blessed Mary Ever Virgin,
0:30:55 > 0:30:58to Blessed Michael the Archangel,
0:30:58 > 0:31:01to the Holy Apostles Peter and Paul,
0:31:01 > 0:31:04to all the Saints and to you, my Father,
0:31:04 > 0:31:08that I have sinned exceedingly in thought, word and deed.
0:31:08 > 0:31:11Through my fault. Through my fault.
0:31:11 > 0:31:13Through my most grievous fault.
0:31:20 > 0:31:21Father?
0:31:25 > 0:31:29May God help you to confess your sins with true sorrow.
0:31:33 > 0:31:35I have examined my conscience, Father,
0:31:35 > 0:31:38and punching that man is not on it.
0:31:38 > 0:31:41I did it in righteous anger,
0:31:41 > 0:31:45the same anger that made Christ drive the money-men from the temple.
0:31:46 > 0:31:50When a white man calls a black man a nigger, he must be punished.
0:31:50 > 0:31:53He only used that word because your boys had called him queer
0:31:53 > 0:31:56and you refused to do anything about it.
0:31:56 > 0:31:58Those words are nowhere near equivalent.
0:31:58 > 0:32:01You can hide your sexuality, I can't hide this.
0:32:01 > 0:32:04You really believe Carl McKenna could hide the kind of man he is?
0:32:04 > 0:32:06Yes, but he chooses not to.
0:32:06 > 0:32:09In fact, he goes further. He advertises it.
0:32:09 > 0:32:14And, in doing that, he is a danger to my sons, to all our sons.
0:32:14 > 0:32:16- Why?- Because homosexual boys get bullied, Father.
0:32:16 > 0:32:18As do heterosexual.
0:32:18 > 0:32:20Much more homosexual than heterosexual.
0:32:20 > 0:32:22Their lives are made a misery.
0:32:22 > 0:32:26Yes, in which case, we should all try to be more tolerant.
0:32:26 > 0:32:30Teenage boys are not tolerant, Father. They're vicious.
0:32:30 > 0:32:31They turn on you if you stammer,
0:32:31 > 0:32:33if you limp, if you lisp.
0:32:33 > 0:32:37But show them you're homosexual and they turn on you quickest of all.
0:32:38 > 0:32:41You call them gay in this country.
0:32:41 > 0:32:42They're not gay.
0:32:42 > 0:32:46They're sad. So, so sad.
0:32:46 > 0:32:49And I will make sure that my boys know that.
0:32:49 > 0:32:52Better to live a lie than reveal a truth like that.
0:32:53 > 0:32:56- You say your anger is righteous? - Yes.
0:32:56 > 0:32:58- In the eyes of God, I assume.- Yes.
0:32:58 > 0:33:00But not in the eyes of the law.
0:33:00 > 0:33:03In the eyes of the law, you have committed a serious crime
0:33:03 > 0:33:06- and you will go to prison for it. - Yes.
0:33:06 > 0:33:07- Unless...- Yes?
0:33:07 > 0:33:11..you apologise. Shake hands.
0:33:11 > 0:33:14That would be utterly insincere.
0:33:14 > 0:33:16Nevertheless.
0:33:21 > 0:33:24You can resolve this, Father.
0:33:24 > 0:33:25How?
0:33:25 > 0:33:28You did not see me strike that man.
0:33:33 > 0:33:35You want me to lie to the police?
0:33:35 > 0:33:37Have they not lied to us?
0:33:37 > 0:33:40To expose myself to Carl McKenna as a liar, and then say Mass,
0:33:40 > 0:33:43give out the holy sacrament? You're asking me to do that?
0:33:43 > 0:33:47It's no worse than what you're asking of me.
0:33:47 > 0:33:50To say I'm sorry when I am not.
0:33:50 > 0:33:55To go against my faith, my Catholicism. And for what?
0:33:55 > 0:33:57Fear of imprisonment?
0:33:57 > 0:34:00That is cowardice.
0:34:00 > 0:34:03That is hypocrisy. I will not do it.
0:34:04 > 0:34:07And I am disgusted that a Catholic priest should ask me to.
0:34:12 > 0:34:15'SMOKE ALARM'
0:34:23 > 0:34:27SCRAPING, ALARM CONTINUES
0:34:42 > 0:34:44I'm not doing it.
0:34:45 > 0:34:47"I am not your skivvy," Mum said.
0:34:59 > 0:35:01KNOCKING
0:35:01 > 0:35:03Father Kerrigan?
0:35:06 > 0:35:09KNOCKING
0:35:09 > 0:35:10Are you in there, sir?
0:35:13 > 0:35:15PHONE RINGS
0:35:15 > 0:35:17What's he doing to you?
0:35:17 > 0:35:18Hello.
0:35:18 > 0:35:22Hi, Andrew. It's Michael Kerrigan. I need some advice.
0:35:22 > 0:35:26- Right.- There's two coppers outside.- 'Yeah, I know.'
0:35:26 > 0:35:29- You know?- Yeah.
0:35:29 > 0:35:33- Have they come to take me in to make a statement?- Yeah.
0:35:33 > 0:35:38- Have I got to make that statement? - Well, no...
0:35:38 > 0:35:40No, you don't have to.
0:35:40 > 0:35:44If I make that statement and Daniel's found guilty, what will he get?
0:35:44 > 0:35:46I'd say four to six years.
0:35:46 > 0:35:49'It's a hate crime, you see. But you know that when he's done it,'
0:35:49 > 0:35:52Michael, he'll be thrown out the country, won't be allowed back in.
0:35:52 > 0:35:54'Which means he'll never see Helen again.
0:35:54 > 0:35:56'It's horrible, isn't it?
0:35:56 > 0:36:00'Seeing other people suffer for your principles?'
0:36:02 > 0:36:04I know that I couldn't do it.
0:36:06 > 0:36:09- Thanks.- 'You're welcome.'
0:36:11 > 0:36:13BARKING
0:36:26 > 0:36:28KNOCKING
0:36:28 > 0:36:31Look Carl, you've got to remember that in his country
0:36:31 > 0:36:33it's still illegal to be gay.
0:36:33 > 0:36:35You can make all the excuses you want,
0:36:35 > 0:36:39this has nothing to do with the colour of his skin or what country he's from.
0:36:39 > 0:36:42This is about religion and nothing else.
0:36:42 > 0:36:45Now, every morning I look out of my window and I see
0:36:45 > 0:36:48tiny, little kids heading off to that school of yours,
0:36:48 > 0:36:52and guess what? Yeah, they'll also be taught that being gay is a sin.
0:36:52 > 0:36:56That it's perfectly acceptable to treat people like me with contempt.
0:36:56 > 0:36:59It's a cycle of hatred perpetuated by your church
0:36:59 > 0:37:03and I'll tell you what. As far as I'm concerned,
0:37:03 > 0:37:07the world will be a better place when Catholicism and every other
0:37:07 > 0:37:10goddamn religion has been consigned to history.
0:37:10 > 0:37:12My church teaches compassion for all human beings
0:37:12 > 0:37:15regardless of religion, race, sexuality.
0:37:15 > 0:37:18And it also teaches that I'm a sinner,
0:37:18 > 0:37:20which is something that you go along with, Michael,
0:37:20 > 0:37:23cos if you didn't, yeah, you'd be on the dole.
0:37:23 > 0:37:26Look, I'm not asking you to do this for me, or for him.
0:37:26 > 0:37:30I'm asking you to do it for Helen. She's suffered enough, Carl.
0:37:30 > 0:37:32And if you had any idea how much I'd suffered,
0:37:32 > 0:37:35you wouldn't dream of putting me in this position.
0:37:35 > 0:37:39Now, the police told me that if anyone tries to intimidate me
0:37:39 > 0:37:41or put pressure on me to drop the charges,
0:37:41 > 0:37:44that I am to report them immediately.
0:37:44 > 0:37:46I'm not trying to put pressure on you.
0:37:46 > 0:37:48Have you made your statement yet?
0:37:49 > 0:37:51Have you?
0:37:53 > 0:37:57And you make out that you're impartial? Just go, Father.
0:37:57 > 0:37:59I think we both know whose side you're really on.
0:37:59 > 0:38:02Believe me, Carl, I'm on no-one's side.
0:38:02 > 0:38:06I'm like the man with a chip on both shoulders.
0:38:06 > 0:38:09I'm just as screwed up about straight sex as I am gay.
0:38:09 > 0:38:12I will make a statement, yeah, and I'll tell the absolute truth,
0:38:12 > 0:38:16but right now, there's nothing I'd like more than to get
0:38:16 > 0:38:18the four of us together in a room,
0:38:18 > 0:38:20because I'm sick of this Ban Ki-Moon act.
0:38:22 > 0:38:23Oh, please tell me you're joking.
0:38:23 > 0:38:27Look! If not for me, then for Helen.
0:38:37 > 0:38:41This is to remind us of the presence of Christ
0:38:41 > 0:38:45and to enable us to speak truth with compassion.
0:38:55 > 0:39:01All I've ever wanted is to set a good example to my sons
0:39:01 > 0:39:05and protect them from the evils of this world,
0:39:05 > 0:39:07and in here,
0:39:07 > 0:39:11I know that homosexuality is one of them.
0:39:11 > 0:39:14And not because I'm homophobic
0:39:14 > 0:39:18or repulsed by what two men choose to do together,
0:39:18 > 0:39:23but in the Bible, it clearly states
0:39:23 > 0:39:27that homosexuals will not inherit the Kingdom of God.
0:39:27 > 0:39:29I was raised a Catholic too.
0:39:30 > 0:39:33I loved it, believed it with all my heart.
0:39:36 > 0:39:38But I also knew that I was different.
0:39:41 > 0:39:45I even wondered if God was calling me to be a priest.
0:39:45 > 0:39:48But I soon realised, no, I was just gay.
0:39:48 > 0:39:51I prayed and prayed for God to make it stop,
0:39:51 > 0:39:53to make me normal,
0:39:53 > 0:39:55but He didn't listen.
0:39:57 > 0:40:00Now, I'd been brought up to believe that being gay was a sin,
0:40:00 > 0:40:02that God hated gay people,
0:40:02 > 0:40:04so why would I choose such a thing, hmm?
0:40:04 > 0:40:08Why would I choose such a thing when I knew it meant
0:40:08 > 0:40:12that the church that I loved would no longer welcome me?
0:40:14 > 0:40:15Choose?
0:40:15 > 0:40:16Don't make me laugh.
0:40:16 > 0:40:19This will hurt you both,
0:40:19 > 0:40:23but in these circumstances, I cannot lie.
0:40:24 > 0:40:28Daniel, you have always been holier than thou.
0:40:29 > 0:40:33Carl, you have always been one to light the blue touchpaper
0:40:33 > 0:40:35and then run away.
0:40:35 > 0:40:37And now you have met.
0:40:37 > 0:40:39And it is a match made in hell.
0:40:40 > 0:40:45Two stupid, stubborn men refusing to back down,
0:40:45 > 0:40:50locking horns, totally forgetting the only thing that should matter -
0:40:50 > 0:40:52bringing Vernon home.
0:40:52 > 0:40:56Yeah, the world is full of gay men
0:40:56 > 0:41:00who can hide their sexuality, live a lie,
0:41:00 > 0:41:05but do you seriously believe that that was ever an option for me?
0:41:05 > 0:41:09The way I am, the way I speak, it's not some affectation.
0:41:09 > 0:41:14It's not some show, it's not trying to shock or intimidate anyone.
0:41:14 > 0:41:17It's just the way I was born
0:41:17 > 0:41:19and I make no apology for that.
0:41:19 > 0:41:21At least not any more, I don't.
0:41:21 > 0:41:24And if you believe in God, then you also have to believe
0:41:24 > 0:41:27that it was your God who created me this way.
0:41:27 > 0:41:31You were in pain, Carl, angry.
0:41:31 > 0:41:36Just waiting for someone to come along for you to lash out,
0:41:36 > 0:41:38and you want to know how I know that?
0:41:38 > 0:41:41Because I feel exactly the same.
0:41:41 > 0:41:43I feel just as angry as you.
0:41:43 > 0:41:46I know what it feels like when the person you love most of all
0:41:46 > 0:41:49in this world is taken from you.
0:41:49 > 0:41:53When your only reason to wake up in the morning is no longer there.
0:41:53 > 0:41:55I wasn't even going to report it.
0:41:55 > 0:41:58I didn't think they'd take it seriously,
0:41:58 > 0:42:00but credit where credit is due,
0:42:00 > 0:42:02I was amazed how supportive they were.
0:42:02 > 0:42:05When I was growing up back in the '80s,
0:42:05 > 0:42:07gay-bashing was virtually the national sport,
0:42:07 > 0:42:12and most people in this country were gold medallists.
0:42:12 > 0:42:15But now finally things are starting to change.
0:42:15 > 0:42:18And hallelujah for that, because the only way to stamp out
0:42:18 > 0:42:22this kind of hatred is to come down heavy on those who perpetrate it.
0:42:22 > 0:42:26A sinner needs a priest, yes,
0:42:26 > 0:42:29but first let him be contrite,
0:42:29 > 0:42:32ashamed, penitent.
0:42:33 > 0:42:36This man is none of those things.
0:42:37 > 0:42:40His mincing, his voice,
0:42:40 > 0:42:44his innuendos all announce that he is ready to sin again,
0:42:44 > 0:42:48that he is proud of it, boastful of it.
0:42:50 > 0:42:53This is a sin that my church has utterly condemned,
0:42:53 > 0:42:56so how can a priest find it so amusing?
0:43:01 > 0:43:06I didn't intend to speak but I suppose I should answer that, yeah?
0:43:06 > 0:43:09- Yes.- I am not amused by it,
0:43:09 > 0:43:11I'm amused by him.
0:43:11 > 0:43:12- Really?- Yeah.
0:43:14 > 0:43:16I suppose we were all teenagers once.
0:43:16 > 0:43:20- Yeah.- Confused at times about our sexuality.
0:43:21 > 0:43:23Yeah.
0:43:23 > 0:43:24So how did you feel, Father,
0:43:24 > 0:43:27when you thought you might be a homosexual?
0:43:34 > 0:43:38The candle is still burning, Christ is still here,
0:43:38 > 0:43:42encouraging us to speak truth.
0:43:42 > 0:43:46How did you feel, when you thought you might be a homosexual?
0:43:50 > 0:43:52It was the 1970s...
0:43:52 > 0:43:55How did you feel?
0:44:01 > 0:44:04Erm, suicidal.
0:44:06 > 0:44:08Thank you.
0:44:19 > 0:44:21Enough of this small talk.
0:44:29 > 0:44:30Thank you, Father.
0:44:36 > 0:44:39Bye, Michael.
0:45:09 > 0:45:14MUSIC: Sisters Are Doin' It for Themselves by Eurythmics
0:45:17 > 0:45:20# Now there was a time
0:45:20 > 0:45:23# When they used to say
0:45:23 > 0:45:27# That behind every great man
0:45:27 > 0:45:31# There had to be a great woman
0:45:31 > 0:45:35# But in these times of change
0:45:35 > 0:45:38# You know that it's no longer true
0:45:38 > 0:45:42# So we're comin' out of the kitchen
0:45:42 > 0:45:46# Cos there's somethin' we forgot to say to you
0:45:46 > 0:45:52# Sisters are doing it for themselves
0:45:52 > 0:45:54# Standing on their... #
0:45:54 > 0:46:00# We are the champions, my friends
0:46:02 > 0:46:07# And we'll keep on fighting till the end
0:46:10 > 0:46:13# We are the champions
0:46:13 > 0:46:17# We are the champions
0:46:17 > 0:46:20# No time for losers
0:46:20 > 0:46:25# Cos we are the champions
0:46:25 > 0:46:29# Of the world! #
0:46:32 > 0:46:34CHEERING
0:46:56 > 0:46:58KNOCKING
0:47:01 > 0:47:02Thanks again.
0:47:06 > 0:47:08He punched a man and I saw it.
0:47:08 > 0:47:10I'll have to say I saw it.
0:47:10 > 0:47:13He'll go down for it and he'll see himself as some kind
0:47:13 > 0:47:14of Catholic martyr when he does.
0:47:14 > 0:47:16- No other way?- No.
0:47:16 > 0:47:21Thanks. Carl won't back down and why should he?
0:47:21 > 0:47:23Daniel won't either.
0:47:23 > 0:47:26I know what I should say - "Daniel, thanks to Catholic teaching,
0:47:26 > 0:47:28"you're a totally fucked-up human being,
0:47:28 > 0:47:30"but that's OK cos so was I.
0:47:30 > 0:47:33"Ignore everything the church says on the subject of sex, Daniel.
0:47:33 > 0:47:36"I do that. Every priest I know does that.
0:47:36 > 0:47:38"You can quote scripture till you're blue in the face,
0:47:38 > 0:47:42"papal pronouncements, edicts, whatever, they are all utter shite."
0:47:45 > 0:47:47Or words to that effect.
0:47:48 > 0:47:50Didn't you want sugar?
0:47:50 > 0:47:53Yeah.
0:47:53 > 0:47:55Good job I didn't take up smoking.
0:47:56 > 0:47:59- I'm sorry to bring this one on you as well.- You're OK.
0:47:59 > 0:48:01I can cope usually, honest.
0:48:01 > 0:48:03You're fine, man.
0:48:03 > 0:48:06It's a bit like buses, isn't it?
0:48:06 > 0:48:09You wait all your life for a decent dilemma to come along
0:48:09 > 0:48:13and then three arrive at the one time.
0:48:13 > 0:48:14What can I do?
0:48:14 > 0:48:16Well, we could pray to the Lord.
0:48:16 > 0:48:18He usually comes up with something.
0:48:18 > 0:48:20Not this time, Peter.
0:48:20 > 0:48:24Irresistible force meets immovable object.
0:48:24 > 0:48:26I need a miracle.
0:48:28 > 0:48:30Hello.
0:48:31 > 0:48:33Yes?
0:48:35 > 0:48:37Vernon can come home!
0:48:46 > 0:48:50# Lord of all hopefulness
0:48:50 > 0:48:54# Lord of all joy
0:48:54 > 0:48:58# Whose trust, ever childlike
0:48:58 > 0:49:00# No cares can destroy... #
0:49:00 > 0:49:02Father?
0:49:02 > 0:49:06It's Vernon, Father.
0:49:06 > 0:49:08Vernon.
0:49:12 > 0:49:15# Your bliss in our hearts, Lord
0:49:15 > 0:49:19# At the break of the day
0:49:29 > 0:49:32# Lord of all eagerness
0:49:32 > 0:49:36# Lord of all faith
0:49:36 > 0:49:40# Whose strong hands were skilled at
0:49:40 > 0:49:44# The plane and the lathe
0:49:44 > 0:49:47# Be there at our labours... #
0:49:47 > 0:49:49Thank you, Helen.
0:49:51 > 0:49:53Please.
0:49:53 > 0:49:56I'll be five minutes.
0:50:12 > 0:50:14Oh.
0:50:14 > 0:50:16Would you like to come through, please?
0:50:18 > 0:50:23# Your hands swift to welcome
0:50:23 > 0:50:27# Your arms to embrace
0:50:27 > 0:50:31# Be there at our homing
0:50:31 > 0:50:35# And give us, we pray
0:50:35 > 0:50:39# Your love in our hearts, Lord
0:50:39 > 0:50:43# At the eve of the day... #
0:50:50 > 0:50:53Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee.
0:50:53 > 0:50:55Blessed art thou amongst women
0:50:55 > 0:50:57and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus.
0:50:57 > 0:51:00- ALL:- Holy Mary, mother of God,
0:51:00 > 0:51:03pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death.
0:51:03 > 0:51:05Amen.
0:51:05 > 0:51:08Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee.
0:51:08 > 0:51:10Blessed art thou amongst women
0:51:10 > 0:51:13and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus.
0:51:13 > 0:51:15- ALL:- Holy Mary, mother of God,
0:51:15 > 0:51:18pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death.
0:51:18 > 0:51:19Amen.
0:51:35 > 0:51:39# Lord of all kindliness
0:51:39 > 0:51:43# Lord of all grace
0:51:43 > 0:51:47# Your hands swift to welcome
0:51:47 > 0:51:51# Your arms to embrace
0:51:51 > 0:51:55# Be there at our homing
0:51:55 > 0:52:00# And give us, we pray
0:52:00 > 0:52:04# Your love in our hearts, Lord
0:52:04 > 0:52:08# At the eve of the day
0:52:17 > 0:52:22# Lord of all gentleness
0:52:22 > 0:52:25# Lord of all calm
0:52:25 > 0:52:29# Whose voice is contentment
0:52:29 > 0:52:33# Whose presence is balm
0:52:33 > 0:52:37# Be there at our sleeping
0:52:37 > 0:52:41# And give us, we pray
0:52:41 > 0:52:46# Your peace in our hearts, Lord
0:52:46 > 0:52:49# At the end of the day. #
0:52:49 > 0:52:50Barcelona?
0:52:50 > 0:52:52Yes.
0:52:56 > 0:52:58Why Barcelona?
0:53:00 > 0:53:02We used to watch them together.
0:53:02 > 0:53:04He liked Messi.
0:53:06 > 0:53:08Something Messi.
0:53:08 > 0:53:09Lionel Messi.
0:53:13 > 0:53:17Yes. I know you like Messi, Vernon. I've seen your room.
0:53:19 > 0:53:22If there's a shred of comfort I can take from this,
0:53:22 > 0:53:25it's that deep down I'm glad God took him before me.
0:53:29 > 0:53:30Why?
0:53:32 > 0:53:34The number of sleepless nights I've had worried about
0:53:34 > 0:53:37what would become of him if anything ever happened to me.
0:53:41 > 0:53:43He was such a kind and loving boy,
0:53:43 > 0:53:46but when he was having one of his episodes, he was so...
0:53:48 > 0:53:51..difficult.
0:53:51 > 0:53:52I knew no matter how hard I prayed,
0:53:52 > 0:53:55the chances of him ever leading a normal life were slim.
0:53:57 > 0:54:00I worried about him growing old,
0:54:00 > 0:54:03the thought of him ending up in some institution,
0:54:03 > 0:54:06with nobody in the world to love him.
0:54:11 > 0:54:12Brenda understood how I felt.
0:54:14 > 0:54:15Carl's mother.
0:54:18 > 0:54:22We both had sons who were troubled in their own ways.
0:54:22 > 0:54:25That's why we felt such affinity.
0:54:29 > 0:54:30Yes?
0:54:33 > 0:54:34This is unfair.
0:54:34 > 0:54:37What is unfair?
0:54:37 > 0:54:39I cannot argue with you.
0:54:40 > 0:54:42I cannot contradict you in these circumstances.
0:54:42 > 0:54:44Why not?
0:54:44 > 0:54:48You have done nothing BUT contradict me since the moment you arrived
0:54:48 > 0:54:50so why stop now?
0:54:50 > 0:54:52Because he home?
0:54:52 > 0:54:55Is he more dead now than he was before,
0:54:55 > 0:54:58more dead now that you can see him?
0:54:58 > 0:55:03Her son and mine both had difficulties growing up,
0:55:03 > 0:55:06were both picked on because they were different
0:55:06 > 0:55:09and we bonded because of it,
0:55:09 > 0:55:12because they were so alike!
0:55:13 > 0:55:17When Brenda was diagnosed, she came to me
0:55:17 > 0:55:20worried about what would become of Carl.
0:55:20 > 0:55:24I promised her that I would always keep an eye out for her
0:55:24 > 0:55:26and I intend to keep that promise.
0:55:26 > 0:55:31She was a good mother who never once tried to change him,
0:55:31 > 0:55:36but accepted him for who he was and I so admired her for that.
0:55:36 > 0:55:41Her love was unconditional and that's exactly how it should be.
0:55:45 > 0:55:49Daniel...
0:55:49 > 0:55:53I wouldn't care if my son was straight,
0:55:53 > 0:55:56gay or anything else,
0:55:56 > 0:56:00just so long as I can see that beautiful smile once more.
0:56:13 > 0:56:15KNOCKING
0:56:17 > 0:56:18I'll get that.
0:56:26 > 0:56:28Can I speak to Helen, please?
0:56:28 > 0:56:31Yeah, come in.
0:56:34 > 0:56:35Look, It's fine. Honest.
0:56:54 > 0:56:56I knew you'd have him in that shirt.
0:57:00 > 0:57:02I'm stopping all this right now.
0:57:04 > 0:57:08I'm telling them whatever I need to tell them to get it all to stop.
0:57:08 > 0:57:10Thank you.
0:57:10 > 0:57:13I'm not doing it for him.
0:57:13 > 0:57:15I'm doing it for you.
0:57:15 > 0:57:18And for Vernon.
0:57:21 > 0:57:24Brenda would be so proud of you.
0:57:27 > 0:57:28Yeah.
0:57:38 > 0:57:39Praise the Lord.
0:57:43 > 0:57:46KNOCKING
0:57:48 > 0:57:50There's more Christianity in your little finger
0:57:50 > 0:57:52than in that man's entire body.
0:57:52 > 0:57:55Yeah, why don't you tell that to your bishop?
0:57:55 > 0:57:59Tell it to your pope. Shout it from the rooftops, why don't you?
0:57:59 > 0:58:01There's no use coming around here and whispering it to me,
0:58:01 > 0:58:03you bloody hypocrite.
0:58:09 > 0:58:14# Tell me what it's like in heaven
0:58:14 > 0:58:19# I hope it's kinder than it is down here
0:58:19 > 0:58:24# With all the trials and tribulations
0:58:24 > 0:58:28# All the worry and living in fear
0:58:28 > 0:58:32# We are lost, we are scattered
0:58:32 > 0:58:35# We're balmy and we're battered
0:58:37 > 0:58:41# We might be bruised but we're not broken
0:58:41 > 0:58:45# Hallelujah
0:58:45 > 0:58:47# Hallelujah... #