0:01:16 > 0:01:19Thank you! Thank you very much, sir!
0:01:21 > 0:01:25Goodnight, Mr Moqtadi. Goodnight.
0:01:30 > 0:01:32TYRES SQUEAL
0:01:40 > 0:01:43HORN BLARES
0:01:50 > 0:01:52TYRES SQUEAL
0:02:09 > 0:02:12CLOCK BUZZES
0:02:17 > 0:02:19BUZZER STOPS
0:02:22 > 0:02:25SIREN OUTSIDE It's Monday, Mary Beth.
0:02:25 > 0:02:27Mmm...
0:02:27 > 0:02:31Monday, Wednesday, Friday are YOUR days.
0:02:31 > 0:02:33Mm-hm.
0:02:34 > 0:02:38Come on - the kids need breakfast! Up and at 'em!
0:02:40 > 0:02:44Mm-hm... I start kickin' in two seconds.
0:02:44 > 0:02:46All right, all right, I'm up!
0:02:46 > 0:02:49You sure it isn't Tuesday?
0:02:49 > 0:02:52Yesterday was Sunday.
0:02:52 > 0:02:55Feels like Tuesday.
0:03:56 > 0:03:59I'd like syrup on mine, Grandma. Coming up.
0:03:59 > 0:04:06Mom never makes French toast during the week. She works hard! She doesn't have time to fuss.
0:04:06 > 0:04:11The guys at school think it's neat that Mom's a cop. Nobody messes with you.
0:04:11 > 0:04:18But sometimes I'd like a normal mom. Like on TV, that serves lemonade and drives you to cub scouts.
0:04:18 > 0:04:21And serves chocolate-chip cookies.
0:04:21 > 0:04:27Oh, hi, Mom! Hey. Grandma's making French toast. You didn't have to go to all that trouble!
0:04:27 > 0:04:32I'm an early riser. ..You look lovely. I like your pearl!
0:04:32 > 0:04:34Thank you!
0:04:34 > 0:04:40So, how about egg-salad sandwiches for lunch? We have some left over from yesterday. I HATE egg salad!
0:04:40 > 0:04:45Me, too. Egg salad tastes like cardboard! That's all we got.
0:04:45 > 0:04:51Mary Beth, I made a couple of roast-beef sandwiches for the boys to take to school. All right!
0:04:51 > 0:04:57I was at the deli and I got it for their lunch. Thank you, Muriel. There's fresh coffee there.
0:04:57 > 0:05:03Oh, great. So...whaddya say, guys? We make chocolate-chip cookies this weekend?
0:05:03 > 0:05:08Yeah! I'll bake some this afternoon. I've nothing else to do.
0:05:11 > 0:05:18How long's she staying? Two weeks or so - till they finish painting her apartment. Two weeks?!
0:05:18 > 0:05:24Want to come and stay at my place? Why? Mothers-in-law and wives always have problems.
0:05:24 > 0:05:30According to who? Everybody! Don't you watch Johnny Carson?! I read an interesting article
0:05:30 > 0:05:37about marital discord within the extended nuclear family. Expands on Freud's Oedipal Theory.
0:05:37 > 0:05:42Paul, no Oedipal theories before lunch! ..Muriel and I get on fine.
0:05:42 > 0:05:45The Lieutenant wants to see you girls right now.
0:05:45 > 0:05:53Women, Isbecki. WOMEN! Girls are under 18 and don't have detective shields. Touchy this morning!
0:05:53 > 0:05:59Her mother-in-law's staying. Oh. My condolences. I LIKE my mother-in-law.
0:05:59 > 0:06:05One advantage of being single is not having a mother-in-law. Of course, there are more exciting advantages.
0:06:05 > 0:06:10Please, Isbecki, would you spare us the details?! Come on, Mary Beth.
0:06:12 > 0:06:18You wanted to see us, Lieutenant? Yeah. Listen to this, will you? Virgo - that's me.
0:06:18 > 0:06:25"You will see hopes and dreams come to fruition." That's terrific, sir. Do you believe this garbage? Nah.
0:06:25 > 0:06:32Me, neither. ..OK, go to Lexington General Hospital. They brought in an apparent hit-and-run victim.
0:06:32 > 0:06:38Sol Klein - a cutter in the garment district. If he's conscious, get a statement, and check for witnesses
0:06:38 > 0:06:44at 64th and Lex. Right. What about you, Lacey? What's your sign? Taurus, sir.
0:06:44 > 0:06:51Taurus, huh? Taurus... "Communicate with loved ones. An unexpected visit." That must mean Muriel.
0:06:51 > 0:06:55Muriel? Oh, it's Harv's mother, sir. She's staying with us.
0:06:55 > 0:07:01That's rough. If anyone can handle that, YOU can. There's nothing to handle. I like her.
0:07:01 > 0:07:07That's what I mean - great attitude! Makes the best of a bad situation.
0:07:07 > 0:07:12It's not... We should probably get started. Case and all...
0:07:16 > 0:07:19I like my mother-in-law. OK.
0:07:23 > 0:07:30Three cracked lumbar ribs, broken clavicle, perforated spleen, multiple contusions and concussion.
0:07:30 > 0:07:36Will he make it? The prognosis is fair. Nothing life-threatening. When can we talk to him?
0:07:36 > 0:07:42Depends how he comes out of the anaesthesia. There's often residual trauma. We may know tomorrow.
0:07:42 > 0:07:49Is there anything you can tell us about what might have happened? I'm not trained in forensic medicine!
0:07:49 > 0:07:56Just an opinion. We won't sue you for malpractice! He WAS hit by a car? I'd say a big car, going fast.
0:07:56 > 0:08:00Way too fast. Knocked the body over there to the kerb.
0:08:00 > 0:08:04Who found the victim? Subway conductor going to work at 4.00am.
0:08:04 > 0:08:12People probably passed him, thinking he was drunk. Thank you. Thanks. Let us know about the rubber sample.
0:08:15 > 0:08:17It's you.
0:08:21 > 0:08:28Hi. We're detectives from the 14th precinct. We want to ask you about the accident. Did you see anything?
0:08:28 > 0:08:35I haven't seen anything in 51 years, lady! Sorry, didn't realise. You want to talk to Sly.
0:08:35 > 0:08:38He sells pretzels across the street.
0:08:40 > 0:08:43Thank you, sir! Thank you.
0:08:46 > 0:08:51Are you Sly? Yeah. The news vendor said that maybe you could help us.
0:08:51 > 0:08:55That depends. Do you know why a hummingbird hums? Why?
0:08:55 > 0:09:00Because it don't know the words! ..Pretzels? Yeah, two.
0:09:00 > 0:09:06Sly, there was a hit-and-run here last night, between 10.00 and 12.00. You know anything about it?
0:09:06 > 0:09:10You know how many cops it takes to change a light bulb? How many? Ten.
0:09:10 > 0:09:16One to CHANGE the light bulb, nine to write out the report! Did you see anything last night?
0:09:16 > 0:09:23I saw the whole thing go down! You did? Mm-hm. I was pushing my cart back to the garage on 63rd.
0:09:23 > 0:09:28I saw him get wasted. ..Do you know three ways to spread news? Last one.
0:09:28 > 0:09:30Telephone, telegraph...
0:09:30 > 0:09:34tell a woman! Not funny. Why didn't you report it?
0:09:34 > 0:09:39Sly don't have nothin' to do with no dead man - no how, no, sir!
0:09:39 > 0:09:43You mess with stiffs...you next. You didn't do anything? Nothing...
0:09:43 > 0:09:51except remember the licence plate. You got the plate off the car that hit him?! Care for another pretzel?
0:09:53 > 0:09:58Forget the pretzels. What was the plate number, Sly?
0:09:58 > 0:10:01O-I-L...
0:10:01 > 0:10:04B-U-X.
0:10:04 > 0:10:11Can you give me that spelling again? 'Hassan. H-A-S-S-A-N. Middle name, bin - B-I-N.
0:10:11 > 0:10:16'Last name, Moqtadi. That's M-O-Q-T-A-D-I.'
0:10:16 > 0:10:19Vehicle registration address?
0:10:19 > 0:10:22'Care of Republic of Zamir - Z-A-M-I-R.
0:10:22 > 0:10:27'Mission to the United Nations, 647 East 52nd Street.'
0:10:29 > 0:10:35I got it. Thank you. ..You heard of a place called Zamir? It's an oil sheikdom in the Persian Gulf.
0:10:35 > 0:10:40How do you know that? I do the New York Times crossword every day.
0:10:40 > 0:10:47If that guy's a diplomat, we can't touch him. He didn't have DPL plates. So let's nail him! Here...
0:10:59 > 0:11:01Thank you.
0:11:02 > 0:11:04Thank you.
0:11:06 > 0:11:10I feel like I'm in the middle of the Arabian Nights!
0:11:10 > 0:11:15Too strong? Put that stuff in your car, it'd run fast!
0:11:15 > 0:11:19I am Said Jamal, Deputy Chief of Mission, at your service.
0:11:19 > 0:11:24Mr Jamal, I am Det Cagney, this is Det Lacey, from the 14th precinct.
0:11:24 > 0:11:30We're trying to contact Hassan bin Moqtadi. Please, be seated. Thank you.
0:11:30 > 0:11:36I trust that any inconvenience that Mr Moqtadi may have caused to your city is not of a serious nature?
0:11:36 > 0:11:44It's a few parking tickets. With our diplomatic community, we prefer to do these things personally.
0:11:44 > 0:11:49Your hospitality is appreciated. Is Mr Moqtadi officially attached to this mission?
0:11:49 > 0:11:54Let us say he is filially attached. I beg your pardon?
0:11:54 > 0:11:59He's the son of our Minister of the Interior, Sheik Moqtadi bin Amir.
0:11:59 > 0:12:04Oh. Well, I trust he's enjoying New York. The weather's beautiful.
0:12:04 > 0:12:11Anything that Mr Moqtadi can do to help with your duties, he will be pleased to perform. I'm sure.
0:12:11 > 0:12:17I don't suppose you know where we could find him, Mr Jamal, do you?
0:12:17 > 0:12:21He generally lunches between noon and 2.00.
0:12:21 > 0:12:27Any particular place? He has a table reserved at Le Maquereau Pourri.
0:12:27 > 0:12:31I beg your pardon? Le Maquereau Pourri. Oh.
0:12:31 > 0:12:35Really, Hassan? That'd just be so super! When you smile,
0:12:35 > 0:12:41you have little creases under your eyes which I find completely irresistible.
0:12:43 > 0:12:45To us.
0:12:49 > 0:12:52INAUDIBLE CONVERSATION
0:12:52 > 0:12:59That's him? Come on, Mary Beth. Oh, excuse me, would you mind terribly if I had him come out here?
0:12:59 > 0:13:05What, we're not dressed properly? No, we would just prefer to avoid an incident.
0:13:06 > 0:13:09All right, go ahead. Thank you.
0:13:09 > 0:13:16Nice place, huh? It's gorgeous. What do you figure - 70 bucks for lunch, if you get the house wine?
0:13:16 > 0:13:19The house wine costs 70 bucks!
0:13:20 > 0:13:25He's not bad-looking. Mmm...if you like that type.
0:13:25 > 0:13:32Hello. Maurice tells me you wanted to see me. Yes. We have information that a car registered in your name
0:13:32 > 0:13:38was in an accident. We wondered if you'd come to the precinct, answer a few questions.
0:13:38 > 0:13:44Surely it can wait till after lunch? We're on OUR lunch hour now, sir! Certainly. ..Maurice?
0:13:44 > 0:13:51Be so kind as to tell Miss Brandenmeyer to order dessert. I'll be back shortly.
0:13:51 > 0:13:56I want to splash water on my hands. I'll be right with you. Of course.
0:14:05 > 0:14:08Oh, no, thanks - we'll wait here.
0:14:09 > 0:14:16He looks a like young Omar Sharif. He's got crooked teeth. You know, Christine, you're very critical.
0:14:16 > 0:14:23That's your trouble with men - you want them all to be perfect. No! I just have a thing about teeth.
0:14:23 > 0:14:27When do we tell him the whole story? In the car.
0:14:29 > 0:14:36You think he's onto us? Maybe. What's he going to do?! There's only one door to the men's room.
0:14:36 > 0:14:42Window. Window! Have you got a window in the men's room? Wait - you can't go in there!
0:14:42 > 0:14:48How could you?! There was a window in the bathroom. No kidding(!) You don't have windows in your bathroom?
0:14:48 > 0:14:54I got a window in MY bathroom! What did you expect us to do - go in there with him(?) Yeah!
0:14:54 > 0:15:01A suspect has to go to the can, YOU go to the can. We'll get him, sir. You'd better! Now, get out of here!
0:15:01 > 0:15:06Wait a minute. I, uh... I didn't mean to yell. It's just...
0:15:06 > 0:15:12You blow a collar like this, it makes us all look bad. Yes, sir. You know what I mean?
0:15:12 > 0:15:18So, uh...you go into the shower with him next time, if you have to. ..Right?
0:15:19 > 0:15:21Right, sir.
0:15:23 > 0:15:27He didn't mean to yell. Could have fooled me!
0:15:27 > 0:15:34What happened in there? Nothing, Petrie. Absolutely nothing. It was a very loud nothing!
0:15:34 > 0:15:40LaGuardia, did you ever go into a ladies' room to make a collar? All the time. Years ago, I worked Vice,
0:15:40 > 0:15:47and the hookers used to run into the john at Penn Station. And you'd FLUSH them out! Come on. I'm sorry.
0:15:47 > 0:15:54We used to go in there like marines, and, I tell you, they'd come at us with everything! Hatpins, umbrellas,
0:15:54 > 0:16:01whatever they had. That was before the Miranda decision. Ah. You didn't have to read 'em their rights.
0:16:01 > 0:16:04I remember one day in Queens...
0:16:08 > 0:16:12Oh, how do they drink this stuff?! It's a ritual of politeness.
0:16:12 > 0:16:13Oh, how do they drink this stuff?! It's a ritual of politeness.
0:16:13 > 0:16:19Yeah, well, skipping out the bathroom window wasn't too polite. So this time, we put cuffs on him.
0:16:19 > 0:16:25We are very pleased to receive you once more. Mr Jamal, I'm afraid this time will not be so pleasant.
0:16:25 > 0:16:31We have a warrant for the arrest of Hassan bin Moqtadi. Arrest? He's the primary suspect
0:16:31 > 0:16:38in an assault and endangerment. I don't understand! Mr Moqtadi's car was seen leaving an accident site,
0:16:38 > 0:16:45where an elderly man was very badly injured. I see! Well, I shall discuss the matter with him now.
0:16:45 > 0:16:51Mr Jamal, you don't understand. We are here to arrest him. That's out of the question! Look,
0:16:51 > 0:16:59we want to do this without a scene. Mr Moqtadi is not a registered diplomat and has no immunity.
0:16:59 > 0:17:06Yes, but he is a citizen of Zamir, and you are on territory belonging to Zamir! We're on 1st and 52nd.
0:17:06 > 0:17:13The diplomatic status accredited by your State Department provides for extra territorial sovereignty.
0:17:13 > 0:17:21You have no jurisdiction in here. And Sol Klein is in hospital, in a bad way, because of Mr Moqtadi!
0:17:21 > 0:17:28Most regrettable. Many of us do not approve of the manner in which Mr Moqtadi comports himself. However,
0:17:28 > 0:17:34you Americans should be sensitive to the principle of inviolability of diplomatic legations.
0:17:34 > 0:17:41May I remind you of your country's reaction when YOUR embassy was violated in Tehran? Just a minute!
0:17:41 > 0:17:47If you care to pursue the matter, I suggest you proceed through the usual diplomatic channels. Good day.
0:17:54 > 0:18:00I'm not going to put any uniforms out there. The way to nail him is to get him to make a run for the airport.
0:18:00 > 0:18:04So he could stay there forever? That's the law. What about tear gas?
0:18:04 > 0:18:11Forget tear gas, Isbecki. Why don't we drop a neutron bomb(?) Why are you always so sarcastic?
0:18:11 > 0:18:18You bring out the best in me(!) If you had some regular attention from a REAL man... Don't worry about me!
0:18:18 > 0:18:24Knock it off! We'll stake this place out around the clock. Four-hour shifts, detectives only.
0:18:29 > 0:18:37I hate stakeouts! We'll play gin rummy. You still owe me $1.46. Did you have plans for tonight? No.
0:18:37 > 0:18:43Muriel's taking the kids to dinner and a movie. How's it going? Great! Place is spotless, dinner's made.
0:18:43 > 0:18:48It's like having full-time help. Think she's applying for the job(?)
0:18:49 > 0:18:57Ive got to cancel a date. Who's the guy? Nobody special. Jack Brydell. Very successful corporate lawyer,
0:18:57 > 0:19:02with a ski chalet in Vermont, season tickets to the Lincoln Centre and eyes like Paul Newman!
0:19:02 > 0:19:08He's not married, gay, or going through a mid-life crisis! ..Jack Brydell, please.
0:19:08 > 0:19:14Chris Cagney. Yes, I'll hold. He sounds wonderful, Chris. I'm sorry you had to cancel.
0:19:14 > 0:19:21Where was he taking you? This northern Italian place on 56th. They make veal you would kill for.
0:19:22 > 0:19:24And then...who knows?
0:19:24 > 0:19:28How's his teeth? Perfect.
0:19:28 > 0:19:30Hello, Jack?
0:19:30 > 0:19:34TV: 'Dallas, Los Angeles, Chicago and Baltimore.
0:19:34 > 0:19:40'Among the boroughs, Brooklyn had the largest number of homicides...' Harv, I'm bored with this show.
0:19:40 > 0:19:44Can I ask you a serious question? Sure.
0:19:44 > 0:19:47What do you think of love in the afternoon?
0:19:47 > 0:19:53You'd rather watch a soap? No, dear. Us. Muriel's got the kids, we got the house,
0:19:53 > 0:19:59I don't have to be on stakeout for three hours, 26 minutes. And I think you're gorgeous...and sexy.
0:19:59 > 0:20:06What do you say? I've been thinking about what Christine said about my mom. Oh! That she wants to move in.
0:20:06 > 0:20:14You think she's right? Probably. There's no room. She wants to help us buy a house on the Island.
0:20:14 > 0:20:17So? So, I think that she comes with the house.
0:20:17 > 0:20:20Baby, I couldn't do that to you.
0:20:20 > 0:20:24Harv, if you want your mother to move in with us, that's OK with me.
0:20:24 > 0:20:28I like Muriel. We can make it work. You want to continue in the bedroom?
0:20:28 > 0:20:31We can't! You got a headache(?)
0:20:31 > 0:20:33I'm talking about my mother!
0:20:33 > 0:20:38Harv, your mother is scared... of being all by herself.
0:20:38 > 0:20:40She's feeling old and alone.
0:20:40 > 0:20:44That's the point - she ISN'T old! She's 62! Before my father died,
0:20:44 > 0:20:51she was a spitfire - on the go, lots of friends. Now she sits alone, or comes here. And makes French toast.
0:20:51 > 0:20:58Yeah. What she needs is a life of her own, not just to be somebody's grandmother. Yeah.
0:20:58 > 0:21:04So will you talk to her? Me?! Yeah. She's YOUR mother! But you're a woman. You'll know how to tell her.
0:21:04 > 0:21:10Harvey... You're good at this stuff. Harvey... I'll make it worth your while.
0:21:10 > 0:21:15TV: 'The son of the Minister of the Interior of Zamir...' Harv, look!
0:21:15 > 0:21:20'If you're NOT guilty of the crime, why not come forward?
0:21:20 > 0:21:27'You must know the political climate in New York. I'd hardly get a fair trial. You want a change of venue?
0:21:27 > 0:21:34'Of course! Might I remind you, I am an Arab. The victim of this alleged incident is a Jew.
0:21:34 > 0:21:39'New York City has a million people of Jewish descent.' Hypocrite.
0:21:39 > 0:21:44That's a smokescreen. Who is he? A criminal! We're going to nail him,
0:21:44 > 0:21:48because he's trying to restart the Arab-Israeli War on 52nd Street.
0:21:53 > 0:21:56I don't believe it. I do not believe it!
0:21:56 > 0:22:00Some undercover stakeout! Yeah.
0:22:00 > 0:22:03He did it - he started a war!
0:22:07 > 0:22:12How long has this been going on? Since the six o'clock news. They move fast.
0:22:12 > 0:22:19You two might as well go. This guy isn't going any place with all these uniforms around. We'll stick around.
0:22:26 > 0:22:30Nothin' better happenin', huh?
0:22:33 > 0:22:39It's a circus! It's news. Yeah? So was the guy in the Texas Tower!
0:22:39 > 0:22:45I hate it! And what about the victims? What about the Sol Kleins? Mary Beth, could you lighten up?!
0:22:45 > 0:22:52This could be a long night! Yeah. And he's going to be up there having press conferences and banquets!
0:22:55 > 0:22:58Speaking of banquets...
0:22:58 > 0:23:00they left us dinner. Here.
0:23:00 > 0:23:03You're joking?!
0:23:15 > 0:23:17I'm going to take ten minutes.
0:23:26 > 0:23:29Hi. Hi, Mom. How was the stakeout?
0:23:29 > 0:23:36Did you sit in the car and eat pizza and drink beer like Dirty Harry? We ate pretzels. ..Morning, Muriel.
0:23:36 > 0:23:41Morning, dear. Grandma's making pancakes. So I see. I'll do it! I don't mind! No, I'll do breakfast.
0:23:41 > 0:23:47Since when? You only do good stuff on weekends. Since now. I thought, since you were up late...
0:23:47 > 0:23:49That was very thoughtful, Muriel.
0:23:51 > 0:23:57But not too well-done, Mom. Yeah, with plenty of syrup, right? Right.
0:23:57 > 0:24:02There's egg-salad sandwiches in the fridge for lunch. I made 'em last night. Oh, Mom! "Oh, Mom!"
0:24:06 > 0:24:10They tell me I was hit by a Rolls-Royce.
0:24:10 > 0:24:11Not bad, huh?
0:24:11 > 0:24:19We know who the driver is, and we have a witness. We just have a tiny legal problem making the arrest.
0:24:19 > 0:24:26Listen, I know all about it. It's on the news. If I got hit by a Jew, it would have hurt just as much.
0:24:26 > 0:24:32We'll get him, Mr Klein, I promise. I don't understand the big deal. Look at this!
0:24:32 > 0:24:39I got flowers from people I don't even know! "Get well, Mr Klein." "You're a hero, Mr Klein!"
0:24:39 > 0:24:42What kind of hero? I got run over by a car!
0:24:42 > 0:24:45You know what I'd like? What?
0:24:45 > 0:24:49First...I'd like everybody to leave me alone.
0:24:49 > 0:24:51Second, I'd like someone to tell me
0:24:51 > 0:24:54how I'm going to pay the hospital bill.
0:24:54 > 0:24:59You don't have medical insurance? You know how much that stuff costs?
0:24:59 > 0:25:04No, sir - the department covers us. You should thank God it does.
0:25:04 > 0:25:10At these prices, you have to die to get your money's worth! I'm sorry.
0:25:10 > 0:25:14Is it true... this guy is worth $20 million?
0:25:14 > 0:25:19That's what the papers say. You'd think he could afford a chauffeur!
0:25:21 > 0:25:23Cagney, Lacey.
0:25:27 > 0:25:31Have a seat. Detective Lacey. Cagney. Inspector.
0:25:31 > 0:25:33Inspector, you want to fill them in?
0:25:33 > 0:25:37It's about this Moqtadi business. Do you know who he is?
0:25:37 > 0:25:44He seems to be a spoiled brat. And a felon. He's also the son of the Minister of the Interior for Zamir.
0:25:44 > 0:25:52We know that. You might NOT know that our country is in negotiations for a long-term oil deal.
0:25:52 > 0:25:58Now, the talks are very sensitive right now. This doesn't help. He ran over... Moreover...
0:25:58 > 0:26:05this department is being made to look very bad in the media, and this is a no-win situation for us.
0:26:05 > 0:26:10Excuse me, Inspector. Are you saying we should just drop it?!
0:26:10 > 0:26:16I'm saying, Detective, the entire situation might be taken out of our hands very soon.
0:26:16 > 0:26:22There are high-level discussions going on in Washington. What kind of discussions? A deal.
0:26:22 > 0:26:30We kick it down to a misdemeanour, he says, "I'm sorry, and sayonara." Where does that leave Sol Klein?
0:26:30 > 0:26:37He can sue Moqtadi. And chase him to the courts for years?! That is, if he can extradite him from Zamir!
0:26:37 > 0:26:43Look, between you and me, I don't like letting a felon cop out to a misdemeanour...
0:26:43 > 0:26:49but if you can catch him NOW, he may get an indictment before Washington intervenes.
0:26:49 > 0:26:57Trick is getting him out of that mission. Any suggestions? We'll have to keep on watching him.
0:26:57 > 0:27:00Inspector? None that'll hold up in front of a judge!
0:27:02 > 0:27:08You know what ticks me off, Inspector? In this guy's country, you steal a piece of fruit,
0:27:08 > 0:27:14they cut your hand off! He comes here, runs over a man, nearly kills him, and we can't touch him!
0:27:18 > 0:27:21Mary Beth, we have to spill Isbecki and Petrie.
0:27:22 > 0:27:24Excuse us.
0:27:30 > 0:27:37The Rangers blew it. Two goals up, seven minutes left, and they still blew it! Listen to this, Isbecki.
0:27:37 > 0:27:44"In an exclusive interview with this reporter, Mr Hassan bin Moqtadi was quoted as saying,
0:27:44 > 0:27:50" 'I am a political prisoner, under house arrest, just like Lech Walesa was in Poland.' "
0:27:50 > 0:27:56Can you beat this man for nerve? If Leclerc hadn't cross-checked the guy in front of the ref...!
0:28:15 > 0:28:20Where were you going to have dinner tonight? This little French place on Columbus Avenue...
0:28:20 > 0:28:27with Vicky. Vicky. This a new one? Yeah. I met her in a revolving door outside of Gimbels.
0:28:27 > 0:28:30She's a nude dancer on Canal Street.
0:28:30 > 0:28:33How do you find them, Victor?
0:28:34 > 0:28:37It's like this radar system inside my mind.
0:28:37 > 0:28:43I hear this little "blip" on a screen, I turn around, and there they are.
0:28:59 > 0:29:06They got everything backwards in those Arab countries. It's great to have four or five wives...
0:29:06 > 0:29:10but they keep them covered, with veils and stuff.
0:29:10 > 0:29:12It's custom. It's stupid.
0:29:12 > 0:29:15Victor! WE have customs, too.
0:29:15 > 0:29:20You wouldn't like it if somebody made fun of baseball and apple pie.
0:29:20 > 0:29:23Huh! Who'd make fun of baseball?!
0:29:23 > 0:29:29It's your discard. ..Stop me if I eat one more pretzel! Stakeouts are so fattening.
0:29:29 > 0:29:36What is the knock on? Eight. ..HE'S up there eating caviar. It's like Louis XIV - "Let 'em eat pretzels!"
0:29:36 > 0:29:39That was Marie Antoinette.
0:29:40 > 0:29:43Huh! Look at that.
0:29:43 > 0:29:46What, they ran out of caviar(?)
0:29:46 > 0:29:51Sooner or later, he'll get tired of caviar and he'll want a hot dog.
0:29:51 > 0:29:56What is the big deal, anyway? What is it - fish eggs? Supposed to be an aphrodisiac. ..Your turn.
0:29:58 > 0:30:02No kidding! Mmm. Are you speaking from experience?
0:30:02 > 0:30:06No! I just read it...somewhere.
0:30:11 > 0:30:13That was fast!
0:30:20 > 0:30:22Mary Beth... Mmm?
0:30:22 > 0:30:26You ever heard of a delivery man wearing $200 Italian shoes?
0:30:30 > 0:30:34Hey, fella! Hold it right there! Hey!
0:30:34 > 0:30:36HEY!
0:30:39 > 0:30:42MOQTADI! Get that man!
0:30:42 > 0:30:46Police! Damn it! Out of the way! Look out here!
0:30:51 > 0:30:53Police!
0:30:54 > 0:30:56Moqtadi!
0:30:56 > 0:30:59Out of the way, people!
0:30:59 > 0:31:01Excuse us!
0:31:01 > 0:31:04CAR HORNS BEEP
0:31:13 > 0:31:17On the bus! He's there! Take that door!
0:31:17 > 0:31:21Hey! Hold it! Hey! Shut it down, driver!
0:31:21 > 0:31:25Hey! Will you stop the bus?! Open the door! Police! Stop the bus!
0:31:26 > 0:31:31Police officers. Everybody off the bus! Step off the bus, please.
0:31:31 > 0:31:38All right, move it! Take it nice and slow. Everybody slow down. Let me see you all! One at a time.
0:31:38 > 0:31:43Let's go here. Come on, move, lady. Thank you. Easy, easy... All right?
0:31:58 > 0:32:00Oops.
0:32:00 > 0:32:02A bus?!
0:32:02 > 0:32:10A bus. It must be the first time in the history of this department that a suspect made a getaway on a bus!
0:32:10 > 0:32:16A New York City bus, in broad daylight, with officers in hot pursuit!
0:32:16 > 0:32:23He went out the emergency exit. And last time, he went out the bathroom window. Who is this guy - Houdini(?)
0:32:25 > 0:32:27A bus! A bus.
0:32:27 > 0:32:31A big, fat, slow bus!
0:32:32 > 0:32:34Has he gone? Mm-hm.
0:32:36 > 0:32:41I'll take the airport, you take the harbour patrol, then we can both do train stations and bus stations!
0:32:41 > 0:32:44PHONE RINGS
0:32:46 > 0:32:5014th Squad, Detective Petrie. ..I beg your pardon?
0:32:50 > 0:32:56Six feet tall, 180lbs. Dark complexion, carrying a passport from the Republic of Zamir.
0:32:56 > 0:33:02No, Detective Cagney is on extension 192. I don't know where - somewhere in the Persian Gulf!
0:33:02 > 0:33:08You don't have to know where, in order to pick him up! She'll pick up when she's available. ..Who?
0:33:08 > 0:33:13Looks like Omar Sharif...except for the teeth. I'll hold. One minute.
0:33:13 > 0:33:21I need some help on a suspect who is fleeing jurisdiction. ..OK, I'll hold. Moqtadi. M-O-Q-T-A-D-I.
0:33:21 > 0:33:28Chris... Just a minute. ..Cuff him to something that weighs at least a ton! There's a call for you on 192.
0:33:28 > 0:33:35I can't take it. I'm up to my bangs here. Yes, I AM holding! I think you want to talk to him. Who is it?
0:33:35 > 0:33:38Hassan bin Moqtadi.
0:33:45 > 0:33:52Detective Cagney. YOU hold! Don't be cute, Mr Moqtadi - no, I did NOT enjoy it!
0:33:52 > 0:33:56You just added resisting arrest to the charges. Where are you?
0:33:56 > 0:33:59Back with the caviar, huh?
0:34:00 > 0:34:07I'm not in a position to negotiate. You come in here and we'll see how willing the District Attorney is...
0:34:07 > 0:34:14YOU think it over! And the next time you leave your chateau, you'd better be wearing sneakers!
0:34:14 > 0:34:17Damn it! Right.
0:34:23 > 0:34:26Got your message. Mmm.
0:34:26 > 0:34:32Want to see us? Yes, ma'am. Did you hear the one about the guy who talked dirty to his plants?
0:34:32 > 0:34:36Arrested for making an obscene FERN call!
0:34:36 > 0:34:42That's cute, Sly. You got something for us? Mary Beth, that one was funny. It was funny.
0:34:42 > 0:34:49Sorry, but if I never see another pretzel again, it'll be too soon. Don't get all bent out of shape!
0:34:49 > 0:34:54This is very humorous(!) You got something for us?! ..What is this?
0:34:54 > 0:34:56A putting-me-out-of-business notice.
0:34:56 > 0:35:03Some nosy flat-foot says I don't have no business licence. I think some corrections are in order.
0:35:03 > 0:35:05DO you...have a licence?
0:35:05 > 0:35:12Madam, I am a true believer in free enterprise, but the worry of all this is affecting my memory.
0:35:12 > 0:35:19I keep thinking that guy that was driving that car was a midget, bald, maybe even a brother,
0:35:19 > 0:35:24but definitely not an Arab. See, the worry is affecting my mind!
0:35:24 > 0:35:30We'll do what we can, Sly. Soon as you get your licence. Tomorrow morning. Today. Now!
0:35:30 > 0:35:33It's a deal.
0:35:33 > 0:35:37Uh, can I ask you ladies something serious?
0:35:37 > 0:35:39How do you feel about...knishes?
0:35:39 > 0:35:46Is this a joke? Jewish potato pies. I'm thinking about diversifying my business.
0:35:46 > 0:35:50I've heard THAT one. MARY BETH CHUCKLES
0:35:54 > 0:35:58KEY TURNS IN LOCK
0:35:58 > 0:36:05Oh! I thought you'd be asleep by now. Is it late? It's after midnight. Must be a terrific book!
0:36:05 > 0:36:07Where's Harv? Asleep.
0:36:07 > 0:36:10Mary Beth...could we talk?
0:36:10 > 0:36:12Oh, sure!
0:36:13 > 0:36:18I know I've been a burden on you and Harvey - I'm in the way...
0:36:18 > 0:36:22Not true. I'm leaving tomorrow. They finished painting?
0:36:24 > 0:36:30They finished three days ago. The truth is... I didn't want to go back there.
0:36:30 > 0:36:33What's wrong, Muriel?
0:36:33 > 0:36:36I don't know what to do.
0:36:36 > 0:36:38About what?
0:36:38 > 0:36:45About my life! I get up in the morning, make breakfast, read the newspaper, straighten up.
0:36:45 > 0:36:52Then I look at the clock. It's only 10.30. And I don't know what to do, so I straighten up some more.
0:36:52 > 0:36:58You don't know what it's like, not having anybody to... share your life with.
0:36:58 > 0:37:01I feel...so useless.
0:37:02 > 0:37:06My...partner lives alone. What does SHE do?
0:37:06 > 0:37:13Well, she works hard. Sometimes I think that's why she's such a good cop, cos she has no distractions.
0:37:13 > 0:37:20Is she happy? Yeah, I think she is. She's honest with herself. She has things that she loves. Like what?
0:37:20 > 0:37:23Uh...like Vermont...
0:37:23 > 0:37:26and sports cars, sushi... Ugh!
0:37:26 > 0:37:29..Mozart, men with perfect teeth...
0:37:29 > 0:37:36I envy her. I was married to Charlie for 35 years. It's so hard to change!
0:37:36 > 0:37:40But not impossible. I don't even know where to start.
0:37:40 > 0:37:45How about a job? Or a course? Or a hobby, or a man?
0:37:45 > 0:37:51I couldn't take up with another man! I told you four things, and all you heard was "man"!
0:37:51 > 0:37:57That one, I at least have experience with. But at MY age! Muriel, you're not an old lady!
0:37:57 > 0:38:05You're bright, attractive. You make perfect French toast. Charlie would not want you sitting around
0:38:05 > 0:38:10straightening up all day. You know what I'd do if I were you? What?
0:38:10 > 0:38:17If I were you...uh...for openers, I would sleep in tomorrow morning. Let somebody else make breakfast.
0:38:17 > 0:38:25Then I'd explore the city - go by Queens College, and the new school, and get their extension catalogue.
0:38:25 > 0:38:31I'd go to a news stand, get Manhattan magazine, which has listings of concerts and museums,
0:38:31 > 0:38:38and, Muriel, get the classifieds! Maybe someone would pay you to make French toast. You never know.
0:38:38 > 0:38:43If that didn't work, I'd buy myself new shoes. That always works for me.
0:38:45 > 0:38:49You need to get some sleep! Ah... Go on now.
0:38:51 > 0:38:53Mary Beth. Mm-hm?
0:38:53 > 0:38:55Thanks.
0:38:55 > 0:38:57For what?
0:38:59 > 0:39:01Good night, Muriel.
0:39:07 > 0:39:15Maybe we SHOULD negotiate with him. Oh! It's a stalemate! He's not coming out, we can't get in.
0:39:15 > 0:39:21None of this is helping Sol. The thought of a deal with him makes me sick. It's done all the time!
0:39:21 > 0:39:26Dope peddlers cop to possession, hookers cop to loitering... And lawyers get rich and it stinks.
0:39:26 > 0:39:28HORN BEEPS
0:39:28 > 0:39:31Just... I can't stand him.
0:39:32 > 0:39:35Morning. Morning, sir. Morning.
0:39:36 > 0:39:40I'm afraid I have some rough news for you.
0:39:40 > 0:39:45They offered a deal. 100 bucks and a traffic citation.
0:39:45 > 0:39:52I don't believe it. They're calling in the ambassador at 4.00 this afternoon. Does Moqtadi know this?
0:39:52 > 0:39:59I'M not even supposed to know. Friend of mine in the State Dept called me this morning. ..Sorry.
0:39:59 > 0:40:01Samuels in? Yes, sir.
0:40:06 > 0:40:10Mary Beth... What? Moqtadi doesn't know.
0:40:10 > 0:40:12So?
0:40:16 > 0:40:20I am pleased you decided to reconsider my offer.
0:40:20 > 0:40:27Your offer was to negotiate. Let's negotiate. Is the coffee good, Officer Lacey?
0:40:27 > 0:40:34Very good. In my country, when you shop for a bride, you are invited to her parents' house for coffee.
0:40:34 > 0:40:42It is a ritual of negotiation. When the bride price is presented, your host asks, "Is the coffee good?"
0:40:42 > 0:40:46If you like the terms, you answer, "Yes, the coffee is good."
0:40:46 > 0:40:50That's fascinating, Mr Moqtadi, but we have not settled on any terms.
0:40:50 > 0:40:55I am confident we will. The present situation does not benefit anyone.
0:40:57 > 0:41:02We want Sol Klein taken care of. She's very direct...isn't she?
0:41:02 > 0:41:06Things move more quickly in New York than Zamir.
0:41:06 > 0:41:13If we drop the criminal charges against you, what will you do for Mr Klein? Perhaps a modest sum,
0:41:13 > 0:41:17to help him out. How modest? Shall we say...
0:41:17 > 0:41:20$1,000?
0:41:23 > 0:41:27That wouldn't even TOUCH his hospital bill!
0:41:27 > 0:41:33I am doing this out of a desire to avoid an unpleasant situation. I have not been convicted of anything.
0:41:33 > 0:41:39You will be! Felony assault, reckless endangerment... And let's not forget resisting arrest!
0:41:40 > 0:41:43You're facing a prison sentence.
0:41:51 > 0:41:53Then, I will pay his hospital bill.
0:41:53 > 0:41:59And what about the time that he lost at work? I'll pay that, too.
0:41:59 > 0:42:05And I think Mr Klein will need a month's vacation after he leaves hospital. Shall we say...
0:42:05 > 0:42:08$5,000, on top of his expenses?
0:42:14 > 0:42:16Oh...
0:42:16 > 0:42:21you drive a very hard bargain. Not as hard as the District Attorney!
0:42:21 > 0:42:23Oh!
0:42:23 > 0:42:27So...Mr Moqtadi, how do you like the coffee?
0:42:27 > 0:42:30A little expensive...
0:42:30 > 0:42:32but satisfactory.
0:42:32 > 0:42:34Good. Let's get going.
0:42:34 > 0:42:37I'll write you a cheque.
0:42:37 > 0:42:40Oh...that coffee's gone bad again.
0:42:40 > 0:42:47Oh...yeah. Surely you don't think I'd write a cheque, drawn on insufficient funds?
0:42:47 > 0:42:52Last time we did business together, you ducked out the window.
0:42:52 > 0:42:58So all of us should go to the bank and draw a cashier's cheque for Sol Klein. If you insist.
0:42:58 > 0:43:01My bank is at 54 and Madison. It's a pleasure.
0:43:04 > 0:43:08Mary Beth...I just had another idea. What is that?
0:43:08 > 0:43:15I think Mr Moqtadi should make a small donation - in your own name - to a worthy charity,
0:43:15 > 0:43:22you know, what with all the trouble he's caused New York. Whatever charity you like, I'll give...$500.
0:43:22 > 0:43:24Good!
0:43:24 > 0:43:28How about the United Jewish Appeal? Very worthy.
0:43:28 > 0:43:31After you, sir.
0:43:36 > 0:43:43How did you pull it off? We were charming, sir. He'll be furious when the deal comes from Washington.
0:43:43 > 0:43:49Let him sue us. You should have cleared this with me first. We would have, sir,
0:43:49 > 0:43:53but you were busy with Inspector Marquette. Lacey, you're full of...
0:43:53 > 0:43:56Coffee, sir. Thick, black coffee.
0:43:56 > 0:44:02You know what the word "chutzpa" means? I grew up in New York, sir. Get outta here, both of you!
0:44:04 > 0:44:08Mary Beth, your mother-in-law is waiting to see you. Oh, thanks.
0:44:08 > 0:44:13Listen, we've been chatting. She's a very nice lady! I told you!
0:44:13 > 0:44:21Is Harvey's father as nice as she is? He WAS. He died a couple of years ago. Oh. Oh, that's too bad.
0:44:21 > 0:44:24Listen, do you think she might be interested in...?
0:44:24 > 0:44:27Paul, ask her for her number.
0:44:29 > 0:44:34You look gorgeous. I just wanted to come by and say thank you again.
0:44:34 > 0:44:38That dress is terrific! You think so? Absolutely.
0:44:38 > 0:44:40..I didn't keep you long, did I?
0:44:40 > 0:44:48No, I was talking to that nice detective. LaGuardia. Like the airport. Like the mayor! Nice name.
0:44:48 > 0:44:51I'd better go. Harvey's waiting in the car. Muriel,
0:44:51 > 0:44:58I'm going to the Museum of Modern Art on Monday. You want to come? Sure! It's a date - one o'clock.
0:44:58 > 0:45:02That'd be great! I'll see you then. See you.
0:45:02 > 0:45:04Bye!
0:45:06 > 0:45:08LaGuardia?
0:45:08 > 0:45:11Yeah? You like French toast?
0:45:48 > 0:45:52Subtitles by BBC Broadcast