0:00:04 > 0:00:05Are you getting these, too?
0:00:05 > 0:00:07Every day now. Everyone in the road.
0:00:07 > 0:00:09Detective Inspector Mill.
0:00:09 > 0:00:10Here about the postcards.
0:00:10 > 0:00:12It's because we're all millionaires.
0:00:12 > 0:00:13Our houses.
0:00:13 > 0:00:16You wouldn't find a doctor down here before. Or a banker.
0:00:16 > 0:00:19Thank you, Mark. No need to over-elaborate on the terminology,
0:00:19 > 0:00:20we all know you're a clever young man.
0:00:20 > 0:00:23There's no reason why this bonus
0:00:23 > 0:00:26might not be closer to two million than one.
0:00:26 > 0:00:29I buy new, everything top spec. You know me, Mrs Yount,
0:00:29 > 0:00:30my personal guarantee.
0:00:30 > 0:00:32But I have met a wonderful lady here.
0:00:32 > 0:00:35If you're looking for the sender of those postcards,
0:00:35 > 0:00:37how about someone who comes here every morning with a grudge?
0:00:37 > 0:00:39If I return, I will be killed.
0:00:39 > 0:00:42You do know you're not legally permitted to work, don't you?
0:00:42 > 0:00:43- Ms Kwama Lyons.- What do you want?
0:00:43 > 0:00:46Well, why don't we start with you telling me your real name?
0:00:46 > 0:00:47It's me. Iqbal Rashid.
0:00:47 > 0:00:49What you doing here?
0:00:49 > 0:00:50Hope you don't mind me using your laptop.
0:00:50 > 0:00:52- Who's the artist?- It's my grandson.
0:00:52 > 0:00:55- We could perhaps treat the tumour with chemotherapy.- No.
0:00:55 > 0:00:58Don't you think now might be the right time to sell up?
0:00:58 > 0:01:01- It's too late now.- No, it isn't. - Yes, it is. It's too late!
0:01:01 > 0:01:02'I've gone away for a few days...'
0:01:02 > 0:01:05- Turn it off, Conrad!- '..to give you a glimpse of what it's like to be me,
0:01:05 > 0:01:08'you spoilt, lazy, lame excuse of a man!'
0:01:11 > 0:01:18This programme contains some strong language.
0:01:23 > 0:01:26Goodness knows what fresh Alaskan awaits.
0:01:26 > 0:01:29I'm just hoping my absence might have made the penny drop.
0:01:29 > 0:01:31But I'm not holding my breath.
0:01:34 > 0:01:35I am going to have to go, darling,
0:01:35 > 0:01:38there appears to have been some kind of nuclear war.
0:01:41 > 0:01:45LOUD MUSIC THUMPS
0:01:45 > 0:01:48# So if you want
0:01:48 > 0:01:51# To be free
0:01:51 > 0:01:55DOORBELL RINGS # To live your life... #
0:01:56 > 0:01:57Roger!
0:02:00 > 0:02:02- YELLS:- Roger!
0:02:02 > 0:02:06Daddy said bad words, Joshy did a poo
0:02:06 > 0:02:08and Father Christmas brought me an Emperor Zerg.
0:02:08 > 0:02:12- HUNGARIAN ACCENT:- Hello. I'm Matya. Can I help you with your bag?
0:02:12 > 0:02:14Did you bring presents, Mummy?
0:02:15 > 0:02:19- SWEETLY:- Hello. Hello, little man.
0:03:02 > 0:03:04DOOR BUZZES
0:03:08 > 0:03:11BEEP
0:03:24 > 0:03:27It's Autobots fighting Decepticons.
0:03:27 > 0:03:29Oh, that's lovely, darling!
0:03:29 > 0:03:32- There you go.- An agency? On Christmas Day?
0:03:32 > 0:03:34You must have been keen.
0:03:34 > 0:03:37I just finished my last job.
0:03:37 > 0:03:39I have references.
0:03:39 > 0:03:40I'm sure you do.
0:03:40 > 0:03:44Conrad. Mummy might like one of the cakes we made.
0:03:48 > 0:03:53Oooh... They look lovely, darling. Maybe later, though, yes?
0:03:53 > 0:03:54Huh?
0:03:54 > 0:03:58I'm just going to go upstairs and see my grown-up child.
0:03:58 > 0:04:01MUSIC BLARES
0:04:05 > 0:04:10# Oooh Friends are always tellin' me
0:04:12 > 0:04:14# You're a user. #
0:04:17 > 0:04:19Oh, hi! You're back.
0:04:19 > 0:04:21Didn't hear you over the 1990s.
0:04:21 > 0:04:23- Nice break?- Yes, thank you.
0:04:23 > 0:04:26You've met Matya. I've just hired her.
0:04:26 > 0:04:28She's, er, my very own Christmas miracle.
0:04:28 > 0:04:30Well, haven't you been enterprising!
0:04:30 > 0:04:33I hope you weren't too worried about the boys.
0:04:33 > 0:04:36Mind you. They're very resilient, aren't they, children?
0:04:38 > 0:04:40Now... Where to begin?
0:04:40 > 0:04:43- Roger, I really can't be having... - I think we are looking at
0:04:43 > 0:04:45a period of fiscal rectitude.
0:04:45 > 0:04:47Fiscal rectitude?
0:04:47 > 0:04:50Sounds like some sort of internal examination.
0:04:50 > 0:04:51- HE CHUCKLES - Roger, you and I both know
0:04:51 > 0:04:54- your bonus is about to come bouncing home.- Ah, my bonus!
0:04:54 > 0:04:56Yes, now, my bonus... Do you know how much my bonus is this year?
0:04:56 > 0:04:58It's not two million.
0:04:58 > 0:05:00It's not one million. It's £30,000.
0:05:02 > 0:05:04You expect me to believe that, Roger?
0:05:04 > 0:05:06Just grow up!
0:05:06 > 0:05:10- PHONE RINGS - India, darling, Merry Christmas.
0:05:10 > 0:05:12How lovely to hear from you.
0:05:12 > 0:05:14- MUSIC BLARES - No, no, skiing's off this year,
0:05:14 > 0:05:18wrist-slashing tedium - just a little cottage in Minchinhampton.
0:05:18 > 0:05:20Hardly a holiday!
0:05:26 > 0:05:28BEEP Shoes off.
0:05:39 > 0:05:41Turn around, please.
0:05:42 > 0:05:44Feet up.
0:05:45 > 0:05:46And the other.
0:06:37 > 0:06:40- See you later.- See you, mate.- Bye.
0:06:40 > 0:06:42- CHILD CRIES - Say, hello to Daadi.
0:06:42 > 0:06:45'Why are you crying, little baby?
0:06:45 > 0:06:47'Babies do need their sleep, Rohinka.'
0:06:47 > 0:06:48Night, Ammi.
0:06:48 > 0:06:50'Shahid, are you there?
0:06:50 > 0:06:54'I've met a dentist with three daughters - all of them dentists.'
0:06:54 > 0:06:56I've got a dentist, thank you, Ammi.
0:06:56 > 0:06:58Nice Jewish chap in Golders Green.
0:06:58 > 0:07:00'We'll talk some more when I come to visit next week.'
0:07:03 > 0:07:05What?
0:07:05 > 0:07:07- Next week?- 'What?'
0:07:07 > 0:07:10Mum. It's, er, cold this time of year.
0:07:10 > 0:07:11Why don't you try spring, hey?
0:07:11 > 0:07:14'I think you need me to come and speak to the police
0:07:14 > 0:07:17'about those abusive postcards you told me about, Ahmed.
0:07:18 > 0:07:21- 'What?- IN URDU:- Are you coming to the airport this time to pick me up?
0:07:21 > 0:07:23'Or will you be leaving me waiting at Heathrow,
0:07:23 > 0:07:25'at the mercy of muggers and Africans?
0:07:25 > 0:07:28'9.00pm. Terminal 5. Wednesday.
0:07:28 > 0:07:31'Make sure you find out from the travel agent.'
0:07:33 > 0:07:34What?
0:07:36 > 0:07:37What?
0:07:37 > 0:07:39What did you tell her about the postcards for?
0:07:39 > 0:07:41I was making conversation.
0:07:41 > 0:07:43- Nice one.- What, do you think I like having her over?
0:07:43 > 0:07:44Criticising my business,
0:07:44 > 0:07:47my weight, the way I bring up my kids and my conduct as a Muslim.
0:07:47 > 0:07:49She might have a point there.
0:07:49 > 0:07:51It's all right for you. You're under her radar.
0:07:51 > 0:07:53The moment I'm married off to some embarrassed girl, you'll be
0:07:53 > 0:07:56- next in line.- Are you going to denounce arranged marriage?
0:07:56 > 0:07:59Not for you, perhaps. Only chance you've got with those looks.
0:07:59 > 0:08:01HE LAUGHS
0:08:03 > 0:08:04Hello.
0:08:06 > 0:08:08We're going to get the internet material taken down
0:08:08 > 0:08:10and we are well on our way to tracing the owners of the blog,
0:08:10 > 0:08:13but that's not the same thing as finding out who the person or
0:08:13 > 0:08:17persons responsible are. And that's where you come in. The community.
0:08:17 > 0:08:19Eyes and ears.
0:08:19 > 0:08:21The vandalism in the street. The graffiti.
0:08:21 > 0:08:22I want you all to be vigilant.
0:08:22 > 0:08:27We need you to be vigilant. Any strange behaviour. Any detail.
0:08:27 > 0:08:30Any sound. However insignificant...
0:08:30 > 0:08:33Yes? The gentleman there with the blue jumper.
0:08:33 > 0:08:35When you came into our shop, you mentioned
0:08:35 > 0:08:37harassment as one of the likely charges.
0:08:37 > 0:08:40That's just something that happens in their head, though right?
0:08:40 > 0:08:44Like, if I feel harassed by you, that counts as harassment?
0:08:44 > 0:08:46Well, perhaps now isn't the best time for a discussion on the
0:08:46 > 0:08:48etymology of the term harassment.
0:08:49 > 0:08:52The majority of the people in this room are here because
0:08:52 > 0:08:55they feel upset or distressed by these things that have happened.
0:08:55 > 0:08:57It isn't fair to call it something in their heads.
0:08:57 > 0:08:59Will there be compensation of some kind?
0:08:59 > 0:09:01It's not really my area, I'm afraid.
0:09:01 > 0:09:06But are you aware if it has had an effect on the local housing market?
0:09:06 > 0:09:07The purpose of this meeting...
0:09:07 > 0:09:09That traffic warden. The African lady.
0:09:09 > 0:09:11- She had nothing to do with it, then? - Er... No.
0:09:11 > 0:09:13No. The campaign had nothing to do with her as it turns out.
0:09:13 > 0:09:15So why did you arrest her?
0:09:15 > 0:09:18I think we may be straying away from the subject here. Erm...
0:09:18 > 0:09:20I promise you she had nothing to do with the postcards.
0:09:20 > 0:09:23If she was committing criminal acts in our road, then surely...
0:09:23 > 0:09:25She was working illegally,
0:09:25 > 0:09:29in contravention of her refugee status.
0:09:29 > 0:09:30Does that count as a result for you?
0:09:30 > 0:09:33Like, it's the League Cup but it's still a trophy?
0:09:33 > 0:09:34LAUGHTER
0:09:34 > 0:09:37There was footage of my children outside our house
0:09:37 > 0:09:39posted on that website.
0:09:39 > 0:09:42And that's not something anybody wants to happen, but...
0:09:42 > 0:09:43But if it's any comfort,
0:09:43 > 0:09:45it doesn't seem like your children were targeted.
0:09:45 > 0:09:48It looks like a coincidence that they wandered into the film
0:09:48 > 0:09:50while the person or persons unknown were making it.
0:09:50 > 0:09:52A coincidence? Oh, I see.
0:09:52 > 0:09:56Well, since by your own admission you literally don't have a clue,
0:09:56 > 0:09:58then I fail to see how your explanation
0:09:58 > 0:09:59is even remotely reassuring.
0:10:12 > 0:10:15You didn't have to say anything. "Harassment is in the mind,"
0:10:15 > 0:10:16what's that even supposed to mean?
0:10:16 > 0:10:19I was deconstructing his imperialist mode of discourse.
0:10:19 > 0:10:22- Yep. I think that landed.- Look, you were wasting police time.
0:10:22 > 0:10:26I just want them to stop some idiot sending cards and DVDs in the post.
0:10:26 > 0:10:28I don't need you wasting their time.
0:10:28 > 0:10:31Did you notice how he called me "gentleman in the blue jumper"
0:10:31 > 0:10:32to avoid saying Asian?
0:10:32 > 0:10:33Hilarious(!)
0:10:40 > 0:10:42It was a waste of time, really.
0:10:42 > 0:10:45Were the Kamal family there?
0:10:45 > 0:10:47Very nice family. Run the shop.
0:10:49 > 0:10:52I didn't recognise anybody at all. Not a single soul.
0:10:52 > 0:10:54Don't you think that's amazing?
0:10:54 > 0:10:56I would have recognised people.
0:10:56 > 0:10:59I'm not saying you wouldn't have, Mum.
0:10:59 > 0:11:01The Kamal family for a start.
0:11:01 > 0:11:03So you keep saying.
0:11:04 > 0:11:06When you think about it, this is your house,
0:11:06 > 0:11:08but is it...
0:11:08 > 0:11:12is it your HOME...
0:11:12 > 0:11:16any more? I mean, it's bricks and mortar when it comes down to it,
0:11:16 > 0:11:17isn't it?
0:11:17 > 0:11:20- This is where I want to die.- What?
0:11:21 > 0:11:23Who's talking about that?
0:11:23 > 0:11:26You are, aren't you? Isn't that where this is all leading?
0:11:26 > 0:11:28Let's not tiptoe round the tulips.
0:11:29 > 0:11:32I want to die here, where I've lived all my life.
0:11:32 > 0:11:34And I'm sorry if that's inconvenient.
0:11:34 > 0:11:36Am I talking about that, Mum? No, I'm not.
0:11:36 > 0:11:38I'm thinking about where you'd be most comfortable.
0:11:38 > 0:11:42I can move your bed downstairs to my dining room.
0:11:42 > 0:11:45- I've got a downstairs toilet, so... - Well, bully for you!
0:11:49 > 0:11:51Sorry, that wasn't kind.
0:11:55 > 0:11:58Thank you for all you're doing.
0:11:58 > 0:11:59Like what?
0:12:03 > 0:12:08You've never been an easy girl to thank. Like your dad.
0:12:08 > 0:12:11Right, well... Let's not go there now, hey?
0:12:16 > 0:12:19WATER RUNS
0:12:21 > 0:12:24CLOCK TICKS QUIETLY
0:12:34 > 0:12:37MUFFLED SCREAMING
0:12:37 > 0:12:40DOOR SLAMS, ALARM RINGS
0:12:43 > 0:12:47SCREAMING CONTINUES
0:12:52 > 0:12:55SCREAMING CONTINUES
0:13:04 > 0:13:07SPORTS MATCH ON TV
0:14:10 > 0:14:12Oh, Piotr, Piotr.
0:14:12 > 0:14:15HE LAUGHS
0:14:20 > 0:14:23- Mum. - DOOR CLOSES
0:14:23 > 0:14:26What? What? Stop stressing about her.
0:14:28 > 0:14:31I'll come and see Gran. I'll give you a night off.
0:14:31 > 0:14:33Mum. Of course I can look after her.
0:14:33 > 0:14:35I've worked in a hospital for two years.
0:14:37 > 0:14:40You make some arrangements, go out.
0:14:40 > 0:14:41I don't know where. Anywhere.
0:14:41 > 0:14:43Non-negotiable.
0:14:44 > 0:14:45See you then.
0:14:51 > 0:14:52Families, hey?
0:14:52 > 0:14:53Yeah.
0:14:54 > 0:14:56Fuck 'em, hey?
0:14:56 > 0:14:57What did you say?
0:14:57 > 0:15:00Mine. Yours. Just a trick of biology.
0:15:00 > 0:15:02You're...you're saying, "Fuck my family."
0:15:02 > 0:15:03Is that what you're saying?
0:15:03 > 0:15:07You're disrespecting my family? This is my gran we're talking about.
0:15:07 > 0:15:08- Goodfellas. Right?- What?
0:15:08 > 0:15:11Joe Pesci. You know? "Saying I'm funny, I'm a clown? I amuse you?"
0:15:11 > 0:15:14- That's what you're doing, isn't it? - That's you all over, isn't it?
0:15:14 > 0:15:16Everything always reminds you of something else.
0:15:16 > 0:15:20You wouldn't know real anger if it came and bit your bollocks off.
0:15:20 > 0:15:22I don't get it. Are you angry now?
0:15:22 > 0:15:25Yeah. Yeah, that was me being angry. It's a real emotion.
0:15:25 > 0:15:27Sound familiar at all? No?
0:15:27 > 0:15:29You just don't feel anything, do you?
0:15:29 > 0:15:32And until you do, you will always be my assistant,
0:15:32 > 0:15:36secretly thinking that it should be you in the big chair and me
0:15:36 > 0:15:39- running around with the coffees. - I can get angry!
0:15:39 > 0:15:41- My coffee's cold.- Get it yourself.
0:15:43 > 0:15:46I think now you're mistaking anger with petulance.
0:15:46 > 0:15:48Just go and get me a coffee. Quick.
0:16:15 > 0:16:16'Don't trouble me, huh?
0:16:16 > 0:16:19'I hope you have my flight number.
0:16:19 > 0:16:21'Will I bring my own bedding this time or have you replaced
0:16:21 > 0:16:22'those terrible sheets?'
0:16:22 > 0:16:25We have bought new fitted sheets. And a new duvet.
0:16:25 > 0:16:26Nice and warm.
0:16:26 > 0:16:28'Not too warm, I hope.'
0:16:28 > 0:16:29You're breaking up.
0:16:30 > 0:16:32I saw that.
0:16:32 > 0:16:33Don't judge me, Shahid.
0:16:33 > 0:16:35I would never judge you, Rohinka.
0:16:35 > 0:16:37Well, if you do I might just point out that your flat's bigger
0:16:37 > 0:16:38and she could stay at yours.
0:16:38 > 0:16:41I can't see her sharing a sofa with Iqbal, can you?
0:16:41 > 0:16:44No. But it might be good to watch.
0:16:47 > 0:16:49Brilliant.
0:16:49 > 0:16:51This is brilliant!
0:16:53 > 0:16:56- Where will I go?- Well, there must be someone at the mosque
0:16:56 > 0:16:59with a spare room going who doesn't know what you're like.
0:16:59 > 0:17:02That was a joke by the way. It can't be helped.
0:17:02 > 0:17:03It's family. I'm sorry.
0:17:03 > 0:17:08Why would your mum stay here and not with your brother and the kids?
0:17:08 > 0:17:13Because, Iqbal, she wants to work on me. Marriage and all that.
0:17:13 > 0:17:16I think she's got somebody in mind. A dentist from Karachi.
0:17:16 > 0:17:18It isn't fair.
0:17:18 > 0:17:20She has two sisters - also dentists if you're interested.
0:17:20 > 0:17:22That isn't what I mean.
0:17:22 > 0:17:26I know, Iqbal. But if you knew Mamji...
0:17:26 > 0:17:28She's like a drone, mate.
0:17:28 > 0:17:32And you're what the American infidels would call collateral damage.
0:17:54 > 0:17:58Morning. Just these two. Thank you.
0:18:04 > 0:18:05Oh!
0:18:29 > 0:18:32Thank you for keeping the evidence. I'll be in touch.
0:18:32 > 0:18:35It's an escalation, isn't it? It's more serious than before.
0:18:35 > 0:18:37- It's terrorism almost.- I'm not sure I'd call getting a dead animal
0:18:37 > 0:18:40shoved through your door terrorism exactly, but...
0:18:40 > 0:18:43I can't help thinking we are the wrong kind of victim.
0:18:43 > 0:18:46Can you please start taking this problem more seriously?
0:18:46 > 0:18:48I can only keep saying we are doing everything we can.
0:18:48 > 0:18:51- Which we are.- Ah! Hello, erm...
0:18:51 > 0:18:52DI Mill.
0:18:54 > 0:18:57Well, I'll leave you to it. Mr Yount. Mrs Yount.
0:18:58 > 0:19:00- Thank you.- Thank you.
0:19:02 > 0:19:03What did he want?
0:19:03 > 0:19:05We've had a corpse delivered in the post.
0:19:05 > 0:19:07An animal of some kind.
0:19:08 > 0:19:11Right. Right. Well...
0:19:11 > 0:19:13Why don't you tell me about it on the way?
0:19:13 > 0:19:14You do need to get a move on.
0:19:16 > 0:19:21You can't seriously think I'm still coming? I'm completely traumatised.
0:19:28 > 0:19:32COUGHING
0:19:32 > 0:19:35WHEEZING, COUGHING
0:19:39 > 0:19:42SHE WHIMPERS
0:19:43 > 0:19:47Oh, Graham. I didn't mean to disturb you.
0:19:49 > 0:19:50Your mother said you'd be here.
0:19:52 > 0:19:55Yeah. Mum's gone out. She's on a large one.
0:19:57 > 0:19:59That doesn't sound much like your mum.
0:20:00 > 0:20:01Are you all right?
0:20:04 > 0:20:05Stupid question, really.
0:20:07 > 0:20:08Just tired.
0:20:11 > 0:20:15What are you listening to on your whatsit, your hearing aids?
0:20:19 > 0:20:21You wouldn't have heard of it, Gran.
0:20:21 > 0:20:23Hm! Wouldn't be so sure about that.
0:20:24 > 0:20:27The builders have their radios on full blast all day.
0:20:29 > 0:20:32You'll be picking up a fair bit of Polish swear words as well, then.
0:20:32 > 0:20:36SHE LAUGHS, COUGHS
0:20:36 > 0:20:37Are you all right, Gran?
0:20:37 > 0:20:39Do you want some water?
0:20:42 > 0:20:45All I want is to know you'll be all right.
0:20:51 > 0:20:52- SOFTLY:- I know.
0:20:56 > 0:20:57Are you?
0:20:59 > 0:21:00Are you all right?
0:21:06 > 0:21:07Yeah.
0:21:10 > 0:21:12Yeah, I am.
0:21:12 > 0:21:13Why should I believe that?
0:21:15 > 0:21:19How do I know you're not just saying that to keep a dying old lady happy?
0:21:22 > 0:21:23I'll tell you why.
0:21:26 > 0:21:29But don't you go telling anybody else.
0:21:29 > 0:21:30A secret.
0:21:32 > 0:21:33I like that.
0:21:38 > 0:21:41HE WHISPERS
0:21:47 > 0:21:49You know what?
0:21:49 > 0:21:51I think it's a terrible idea. She'll be bored out of her mind.
0:21:51 > 0:21:53It'll be a nice change for her.
0:21:53 > 0:21:58I've been to those things a thousand times before, I find them so vulgar.
0:21:58 > 0:22:00Matya, on the other hand, is from Hungary.
0:22:00 > 0:22:04The nearest she's probably come to genuine luxury is the Easy Jet
0:22:04 > 0:22:06- departure lounge.- Exactly. She'll be out of her depth.
0:22:06 > 0:22:09- With your colleagues? - MOCKING:- Don't be stupid.
0:22:09 > 0:22:13She won't have to talk much, just sit there looking pretty
0:22:13 > 0:22:16and pretending to listen while they go wanking on about shooting
0:22:16 > 0:22:19- and the congestion charge. - (They'll think she's an escort.)
0:22:19 > 0:22:21They're bankers. They'll admire your chutzpah.
0:22:21 > 0:22:24If they interrogate you further, say I'm staying away
0:22:24 > 0:22:26as a protest against your tiny bonus.
0:22:27 > 0:22:31They should be having a charity auction for us, quite frankly.
0:22:31 > 0:22:36Wow! You look so much better in it than I do.
0:22:39 > 0:22:43That, Roger, is your cue to say something flattering to me.
0:22:50 > 0:22:53- CLAPPING, CHEERING - The next lot is...
0:22:53 > 0:22:56a day's fly fishing in Wiltshire.
0:22:56 > 0:22:59Chalk stream. Complete with cream tea.
0:22:59 > 0:23:01And who will give me £500?
0:23:01 > 0:23:04- Is all this just for fishing? - '500.'
0:23:04 > 0:23:06- From a river?- 'Six? 700?'
0:23:06 > 0:23:08You wait, it gets a whole lot more expensive.
0:23:08 > 0:23:10'Nine. 900.'
0:23:10 > 0:23:12And it's all for charity.
0:23:12 > 0:23:13Well, they are very generous.
0:23:13 > 0:23:17No. Just very competitive and ostentatious.
0:23:18 > 0:23:21They haven't got a charitable bone in their body.
0:23:21 > 0:23:22You talk as though you hate it.
0:23:22 > 0:23:25Gone. For £1,300.
0:23:25 > 0:23:27CLAPPING
0:23:27 > 0:23:30Rog. Rog.
0:23:30 > 0:23:32Fuck me, you're a dark horse!
0:23:33 > 0:23:35How much did you pay for her?
0:23:35 > 0:23:37I'll have to change my escort agency.
0:23:37 > 0:23:40If you must know, Arabella's ill. She's our children's nanny.
0:23:42 > 0:23:45So, have you bid yet?
0:23:45 > 0:23:46I don't think so.
0:23:46 > 0:23:48Would you like to?
0:23:48 > 0:23:52- I don't have that money. - No. I do. Go on.
0:23:52 > 0:23:55The next lot is a signed Roger Federer shirt.
0:23:55 > 0:23:57- '2012. Who'll start me...?' - I'll pay. Go on.
0:23:57 > 0:23:59- Come on.- No. no.
0:23:59 > 0:24:01Just to see what it feels like. Go on.
0:24:01 > 0:24:04- Just to see the look on your face. - '800.'
0:24:04 > 0:24:05Somebody start me at 800.
0:24:05 > 0:24:06Go on. Go on.
0:24:06 > 0:24:07'800.'
0:24:07 > 0:24:09That's it.
0:24:09 > 0:24:11That's 800 to the lady in the green dress.
0:24:11 > 0:24:14'Who will give me £900? Over there, yes.
0:24:14 > 0:24:15- '1,000.'- Go on.
0:24:15 > 0:24:18- '1,500.'- Again, again. Go on.
0:24:18 > 0:24:20'1,600.'
0:24:20 > 0:24:23Yes! Come on, one more and we'll get it. One more. Come on.
0:24:23 > 0:24:25- '1,700.'- Go on, go on, go on, go on.
0:24:25 > 0:24:27- '1,800.'- Raise your hand.
0:24:27 > 0:24:291,800.
0:24:29 > 0:24:32'1,800, going once.
0:24:32 > 0:24:34'Going twice.'
0:24:34 > 0:24:36Gone to the lady in the green dress.
0:24:39 > 0:24:40Thank you.
0:24:46 > 0:24:49- Oh, my God. Oh, my God! - Want to get another one?
0:24:55 > 0:24:58POP MUSIC PLAYS SOFTLY
0:25:03 > 0:25:06DOOR OPENS LOUDLY
0:25:26 > 0:25:30DOOR OPENS SOFTLY
0:25:34 > 0:25:37Not much of a night, back this early.
0:25:37 > 0:25:39By your standards, perhaps.
0:25:39 > 0:25:41God knows how you get up for work in the morning.
0:25:42 > 0:25:44You don't need to worry about me.
0:25:44 > 0:25:46Good. Cos I haven't got any worry left.
0:25:47 > 0:25:50Thanks for looking after her for tonight.
0:25:51 > 0:25:53It was nice to see her.
0:25:54 > 0:25:56- We had a nice chat, you know. - No. I don't know.
0:25:56 > 0:26:00She only ever talks to me if she wants to go to the toilet.
0:26:00 > 0:26:02It was mainly me, all right?
0:26:03 > 0:26:06Don't patronise me. And stop talking in that accent.
0:26:06 > 0:26:08You weren't brought up to talk like that.
0:26:09 > 0:26:11How would you know?
0:26:12 > 0:26:13You weren't even there.
0:26:15 > 0:26:18Well, your gran wouldn't like it. How about that?
0:26:18 > 0:26:19Does that count?
0:26:21 > 0:26:22It's not a competition.
0:26:26 > 0:26:29"Palliative care in the community," they call it.
0:26:29 > 0:26:34- What?- What we're doing now. Arguing while Mum dies.
0:26:34 > 0:26:37They give it a title so that it sounds like they're doing something.
0:26:37 > 0:26:39But they're not.
0:26:39 > 0:26:42They gave it a title, that is them doing something.
0:26:43 > 0:26:46Can't you just agree with me that it's tough?
0:26:46 > 0:26:50What is it all for, in the end? Look at this place.
0:26:50 > 0:26:52A lifetime of clutter. Is that all there is?
0:26:52 > 0:26:54There's nothing wrong with this place.
0:26:54 > 0:26:59For God's sake! I'm not saying that there's anything wrong with it!
0:27:07 > 0:27:0820 Silk Cut, please.
0:27:08 > 0:27:11Of course. How is your mother?
0:27:11 > 0:27:15- How is Mrs Howe?- Um... She's, um...
0:27:15 > 0:27:17Oh, um, do you do decorating?
0:27:18 > 0:27:19Yes. From time to time.
0:27:19 > 0:27:22I know that you're a builder. I'm from number 84.
0:27:22 > 0:27:26Do you do painting, papering, refurbishment, that kind of thing?
0:27:26 > 0:27:28When do you want to start doing?
0:27:28 > 0:27:31The sooner the better. As soon as possible.
0:27:31 > 0:27:33Thank you. Thanks.
0:27:34 > 0:27:38Well, now I feel I've corrupted you!
0:27:38 > 0:27:39Why are you saying that?
0:27:39 > 0:27:44Well, because I encouraged you to bid £2,000 for a sweaty T-shirt.
0:27:44 > 0:27:48A sweaty T-shirt worn by Roger Federer. At Wimbledon.
0:27:48 > 0:27:49There is a difference!
0:27:51 > 0:27:54I think I ought to put it by my bed
0:27:54 > 0:27:56so I can see it before I go to sleep.
0:27:56 > 0:27:58Yeah, of course.
0:28:02 > 0:28:05Eh... Don't...don't do that.
0:28:06 > 0:28:08It's still your night out.
0:28:08 > 0:28:10Please. Don't do that now.
0:28:10 > 0:28:11OK.
0:28:13 > 0:28:17It's odd, but I've always had a lot of time for Roger Federer.
0:28:17 > 0:28:21Not least because he's the only cool Roger in the world.
0:28:21 > 0:28:26Well... Apart from Roger Moore that is.
0:28:26 > 0:28:29I'm sure he's very much before your time.
0:28:31 > 0:28:33Hm. Well...
0:28:34 > 0:28:38At least now you'll be able to tell your friends in Hungary it's true.
0:28:38 > 0:28:41The English do have more money than sense!
0:28:42 > 0:28:45Why are you always apologising for what you've got?
0:28:46 > 0:28:49Cos I'm not sure how I got it.
0:28:49 > 0:28:53Because you are clever and you worked hard.
0:28:53 > 0:28:54There's no shame in that.
0:28:56 > 0:29:00When I first came into banking, it was all about relationships.
0:29:04 > 0:29:06And now it's...
0:29:07 > 0:29:08..it's all about maths.
0:29:13 > 0:29:16Let's just say I'm better at the relationships bit.
0:29:16 > 0:29:20I left everybody I loved behind in Hungary...
0:29:22 > 0:29:24..just to come here and earn money.
0:29:26 > 0:29:29I think I am just the same as you and Arabella.
0:29:31 > 0:29:32Right?
0:29:33 > 0:29:35I...I don't think so.
0:29:37 > 0:29:38No.
0:29:42 > 0:29:43Well, you are wrong.
0:29:46 > 0:29:47Time for bed, I think.
0:29:49 > 0:29:53Goodnight, Mr...Roger.
0:29:58 > 0:30:01Oh, and thank you for a lovely evening.
0:30:04 > 0:30:05Oops.
0:30:05 > 0:30:07- Night.- Goodnight, Matya.
0:31:08 > 0:31:09My God.
0:31:11 > 0:31:13To be young and childless.
0:31:13 > 0:31:15You come straight from the party?
0:31:15 > 0:31:16Sleep is for lightweights, Roger.
0:31:16 > 0:31:19ROGER CHUCKLES
0:31:19 > 0:31:23I wouldn't do any flash trading with a hangover if I were you.
0:31:25 > 0:31:26How's Matya?
0:31:27 > 0:31:29I didn't see her this morning.
0:31:29 > 0:31:31Did she have a nice evening?
0:31:33 > 0:31:36Yes. Far as I know.
0:31:38 > 0:31:39You don't know...
0:31:40 > 0:31:41Like, she isn't...
0:31:43 > 0:31:45Is she seeing anybody at the moment, do you know?
0:31:48 > 0:31:51Oh, Mark. Dear me.
0:31:51 > 0:31:55I know you are an ambitious young man and full marks for cheek,
0:31:55 > 0:31:59but I'm afraid Matya is rather out of your league.
0:32:01 > 0:32:04Dear me. Dear me!
0:32:07 > 0:32:10PHONE RINGS
0:33:01 > 0:33:04YELLING
0:33:22 > 0:33:25I don't know why we all have to be here.
0:33:25 > 0:33:26Because last time it was just me
0:33:26 > 0:33:28and for two months we never heard the end of it.
0:33:28 > 0:33:31This time we'll overwhelm her with our love and devotion.
0:33:31 > 0:33:33- She won't know what's hit her. - That doesn't sound like Ammi.
0:33:33 > 0:33:36Hey, you're not allowed to criticise her. You're her golden boy.
0:33:36 > 0:33:38Let's have a bet on what she says first.
0:33:38 > 0:33:39Gambling is un-Islamic.
0:33:39 > 0:33:42That's better. I prefer you without sense of humour.
0:33:42 > 0:33:44I'll go first. It will be,
0:33:44 > 0:33:46"Rohinka, what are you feeding my fatty son?
0:33:46 > 0:33:47"Are you trying to kill him?"
0:33:47 > 0:33:49"The flight was a horror."
0:33:49 > 0:33:51Hello. She'll say, "Hello."
0:33:51 > 0:33:54Of course she will, clever girl!
0:33:58 > 0:33:59Right, she's here.
0:34:07 > 0:34:09- Daadi Jaan!- Ah!
0:34:09 > 0:34:12Gurhyaa!
0:34:12 > 0:34:16- All here this time. - I can see that!
0:34:16 > 0:34:17And nobody minding the till.
0:34:20 > 0:34:23That's a lovely dress you're wearing, Fatima.
0:34:23 > 0:34:27Allah ka shukar, your mum let you wear a dress for once.
0:34:27 > 0:34:29And, Rohinka, what are you feeding my son?
0:34:29 > 0:34:33He has no self-control, you must be his self-control.
0:34:33 > 0:34:34What are you feeding him?
0:34:34 > 0:34:36Or is he stuffing himself with snack food
0:34:36 > 0:34:38because he doesn't like what you cook him?
0:34:38 > 0:34:39He looks like a gol gappa!
0:34:41 > 0:34:43And I don't know what you're laughing about, huh?
0:34:43 > 0:34:4525 years of age and no sign of a wife.
0:34:47 > 0:34:49- IN URDU:- My son!
0:34:49 > 0:34:50Come. Come.
0:35:03 > 0:35:05Do you want the kitchen stripping out?
0:35:05 > 0:35:08Um... Just make it modern, you know?
0:35:08 > 0:35:10We'll get a kit from Ikea. Be basic but solid, you know.
0:35:10 > 0:35:12Something new, that's the main thing.
0:35:12 > 0:35:14Paintwork neutral?
0:35:14 > 0:35:16Chalky Down is very popular.
0:35:21 > 0:35:25We, eh... We can't go in there, I'm afraid.
0:35:25 > 0:35:29But the bathroom will need renovating. Or refitting.
0:35:29 > 0:35:31- It's up to you.- OK.
0:35:33 > 0:35:35If you are having building work,
0:35:35 > 0:35:37DISTANT COUGHING I can sort out permission.
0:35:40 > 0:35:44I know who to talk to at the council and so on.
0:35:44 > 0:35:46We might just leave that to the buyer.
0:35:46 > 0:35:48We just need a rough quote for tarting it up.
0:35:48 > 0:35:50OK. No problem.
0:35:50 > 0:35:52Are you all right to do the other rooms on your own?
0:35:52 > 0:35:54I'll...I'll be in the kitchen.
0:36:54 > 0:36:57SHE BREATHES HEAVILY
0:37:01 > 0:37:02Sorry...
0:37:07 > 0:37:11BREATHING STOPS
0:37:16 > 0:37:18SHE GASPS
0:37:23 > 0:37:26I'm getting a few people in. Other quotes. Rough figures for now.
0:37:26 > 0:37:29I'll have more idea when, um...
0:37:30 > 0:37:32I'm looking for a good job,
0:37:32 > 0:37:36but we're looking to freshen it up a bit before we put it
0:37:36 > 0:37:38on the market, to be honest.
0:37:50 > 0:37:52DOOR SHUTS
0:37:56 > 0:37:58Morning, boss.
0:37:59 > 0:38:01Oh.
0:38:01 > 0:38:04Right.
0:38:04 > 0:38:06- Thanks. - So you've been at it all night?
0:38:08 > 0:38:10More or less.
0:38:10 > 0:38:14What are you...what are you trying to say? I mean...
0:38:15 > 0:38:17I don't know. You got any ideas?
0:38:19 > 0:38:22Well, I mean, there's this wonderful quote by...
0:38:22 > 0:38:23It's cold, mate.
0:38:25 > 0:38:26Off you Trotsky.
0:38:48 > 0:38:51In 2003, I was arrested in Harare,
0:38:51 > 0:38:54interrogated and beaten up. Then I was released.
0:38:54 > 0:38:57Then I was arrested and beaten up again.
0:38:57 > 0:39:00They told me I had 72 hours to leave the country.
0:39:00 > 0:39:03So I was smuggled out by the missionaries.
0:39:03 > 0:39:04Quentina.
0:39:04 > 0:39:08The judge already knows all this.
0:39:08 > 0:39:11It's terrible, but it's not relevant.
0:39:14 > 0:39:16I came to England on a student visa.
0:39:16 > 0:39:17And he will say,
0:39:17 > 0:39:20"And did you always intend to illegally outstay the visa?"
0:39:20 > 0:39:22And I will say, "Yes.
0:39:22 > 0:39:26"I intended to throw myself at the mercy of the British state."
0:39:26 > 0:39:28And he will say, "How have you been supporting yourself
0:39:28 > 0:39:30"since being refused asylum?"
0:39:30 > 0:39:34- I will say, "By working." - By working illegally.- Yes!
0:39:34 > 0:39:37I wanted to give something back to England.
0:39:37 > 0:39:42So instead of collecting my £43 a week allowance, I...I worked.
0:39:42 > 0:39:43I paid my way.
0:39:44 > 0:39:47I don't understand why your law would discourage that.
0:39:47 > 0:39:50That isn't relevant.
0:39:50 > 0:39:53He will ignore that and he will say that you came here with
0:39:53 > 0:39:54the intention of staying illegally.
0:39:54 > 0:39:58And you did so, on the pretext that you were fleeing from persecution.
0:39:58 > 0:39:59But it wasn't a pretext.
0:39:59 > 0:40:02Don't contradict him. It'll piss him off.
0:40:02 > 0:40:06- He doesn't need to like me. - He does, Quentina. He really does.
0:40:07 > 0:40:11In fact, I'd say that's your only chance.
0:40:16 > 0:40:18Well, that...is a problem.
0:40:20 > 0:40:24Because there's only one person I know who thinks I'm likeable.
0:40:32 > 0:40:35PHONE RINGS, DISTANT VOICES
0:40:37 > 0:40:38Quentina!
0:40:40 > 0:40:41Quentina, where are you?
0:40:42 > 0:40:47I don't know why you dragged me all the way here from Karachi for these.
0:40:47 > 0:40:50They just seem like, um, some foolishness.
0:40:50 > 0:40:52I hardly dragged you here, Ammi.
0:40:52 > 0:40:55They love it round here. All that fussing and running around.
0:40:55 > 0:40:58It's that great British middle-class battle cry -
0:40:58 > 0:41:00"Something must be done!"
0:41:00 > 0:41:03Especially if it might have an effect on property prices.
0:41:03 > 0:41:05Those are our neighbours and customers
0:41:05 > 0:41:08- you are talking rubbish about. - I don't know, Ahmed.
0:41:08 > 0:41:11This is a rare example of dear Usman being right about something.
0:41:11 > 0:41:14Nobody's going to be marrying him for his brains, that's for sure!
0:41:14 > 0:41:17Mayra gurhyaa! Will you do me a favour?
0:41:17 > 0:41:20Will you ask your mother to put some sugar in this for me, gurhyaa?
0:41:20 > 0:41:23I think she is trying to poison me!
0:41:25 > 0:41:27- Go on.- Thank you!
0:41:27 > 0:41:29Run, run! Quickly, quickly!
0:41:35 > 0:41:39TV MURMURS, DOOR OPENS
0:41:39 > 0:41:42FOOTSTEPS ON STAIRS
0:41:49 > 0:41:50I think you should come up now.
0:41:59 > 0:42:02SHE WHEEZES
0:42:24 > 0:42:29WHEEZING STOPS
0:43:02 > 0:43:04KNOCK ON DOOR
0:43:04 > 0:43:07I'm starting to think this second wave of crimes is being done
0:43:07 > 0:43:08by somebody new,
0:43:08 > 0:43:11somebody separate from the person who posted the cards.
0:43:11 > 0:43:13A copycat?
0:43:13 > 0:43:15If you like. But I hope this is reassuring.
0:43:15 > 0:43:17We are closing in on the perpetrator. Make no mistake.
0:43:17 > 0:43:19The traffic warden, the African lady,
0:43:19 > 0:43:22you thought that she'd done it, but she wasn't guilty of anything.
0:43:22 > 0:43:26She was guilty of a lot of things, but not the postal campaign.
0:43:26 > 0:43:28So it works like a curse.
0:43:30 > 0:43:31I'm sorry?
0:43:31 > 0:43:35Um, the postcards. They work like a bad luck charm.
0:43:35 > 0:43:37First the traffic warden, then Mum.
0:43:37 > 0:43:40Your mum? Mrs Howe? Why, what's happened to her?
0:43:41 > 0:43:43She died, didn't I tell you?
0:43:44 > 0:43:46No, I don't think you did.
0:43:46 > 0:43:50Last night. Well, early this morning to be precise.
0:43:51 > 0:43:53You don't want to be hearing this stuff now.
0:43:53 > 0:43:55She was the last of her kind.
0:43:55 > 0:43:57She lived here nearly all her adult life.
0:43:57 > 0:43:59She got...
0:43:59 > 0:44:03she got married when she was 21 and never left.
0:44:03 > 0:44:04Can you imagine?
0:44:04 > 0:44:09Staying in the same place for...over 60 years?
0:44:13 > 0:44:15- BEEP - Arms out, please.
0:44:18 > 0:44:19Passport, please.
0:44:25 > 0:44:28I tried to see a different lawyer at the Law Centre.
0:44:28 > 0:44:31I waited all morning, but then I had to get back to work.
0:44:31 > 0:44:35But - she rang me. She's coming to see you.
0:44:38 > 0:44:42Don't rock the boat, Mashinko. Please.
0:44:42 > 0:44:47I know you are trying to help, but you'll make things worse.
0:44:47 > 0:44:49- By standing up for you?- Yes.
0:44:50 > 0:44:51By standing up for me.
0:44:58 > 0:45:00Now, you listen to me, my love.
0:45:00 > 0:45:01Of course.
0:45:01 > 0:45:03Let me just get my pad to take notes.
0:45:03 > 0:45:07This isn't going to help me. I just need you to listen to me.
0:45:14 > 0:45:16I am Quentina Mfeski,
0:45:16 > 0:45:19BSc, MSc, Political Science,
0:45:19 > 0:45:21the University of Zimbabwe.
0:45:21 > 0:45:23I know, you told me you had a degree.
0:45:23 > 0:45:25Are you going to let me finish talking?
0:45:29 > 0:45:32I like to listen to Makoomba,
0:45:32 > 0:45:33Beyonce
0:45:33 > 0:45:36and I still love Brenda Fassie.
0:45:36 > 0:45:37Why are you telling me this now?
0:45:39 > 0:45:41Because I want you to know this about me.
0:45:43 > 0:45:45And because when you think of me, I...
0:45:48 > 0:45:50..I don't want you to think of just
0:45:50 > 0:45:52Quentina the traffic warden or...
0:45:54 > 0:45:56..Quentina the detainee.
0:45:56 > 0:45:57Because...
0:46:01 > 0:46:04Because I don't want you to visit me again.
0:46:08 > 0:46:11You feel an obligation because we went on two dates.
0:46:13 > 0:46:16And I want to release you from that obligation.
0:46:18 > 0:46:20Obligation?
0:46:22 > 0:46:24You really don't understand...
0:46:26 > 0:46:27..how lonely I was.
0:46:29 > 0:46:34I had the church and the job and nothing else.
0:46:35 > 0:46:38And then I had you. And you were kind.
0:46:39 > 0:46:42You were kind and lovely...
0:46:44 > 0:46:46And I'm here.
0:47:26 > 0:47:29Beloved wife of Albert,
0:47:29 > 0:47:33proud mother of Mary and devoted grandmother of Graham.
0:47:35 > 0:47:39I knew Petunia as a regular member of our congregation,
0:47:39 > 0:47:43but over the last few days, I feel I've got to know her a little better.
0:47:44 > 0:47:48She moved into 84 Pepys Road over 60 years ago,
0:47:48 > 0:47:50as a new bride.
0:47:50 > 0:47:53And although she saw many changes over the years,
0:47:53 > 0:47:57she remained a well-known and well-loved member of the community.
0:47:59 > 0:48:01Over the last months of her life,
0:48:01 > 0:48:05she received, like all of those on Pepys Road,
0:48:05 > 0:48:07a series of postcards
0:48:07 > 0:48:12on which the sentence "We want what you have" was written.
0:48:13 > 0:48:18Now, this campaign, intended perhaps to intimidate or amuse,
0:48:18 > 0:48:23was met by Petunia with her usual good humour and stoicism.
0:48:24 > 0:48:28But I think the pranksters who sent these postcards were saying more
0:48:28 > 0:48:32than they knew when they posted the postcards through Petunia's door.
0:48:34 > 0:48:38Because a life lived with patience,
0:48:38 > 0:48:41a life lived with fortitude,
0:48:41 > 0:48:45a life lived with humility and good humour,
0:48:45 > 0:48:47always a kind word for the neighbours,
0:48:47 > 0:48:51always a kind word for newcomers from whatever race.
0:48:52 > 0:48:54Well.
0:48:54 > 0:48:57I think it's fair to say, on reflection,
0:48:57 > 0:49:00that we should all want a little of what Petunia had.
0:49:26 > 0:49:28I'm sorry for your loss.
0:49:29 > 0:49:31Right. Thank you.
0:49:33 > 0:49:36And you're the artist, right?
0:49:36 > 0:49:37What?
0:49:37 > 0:49:40Your grandma had your school paintings all over her wall.
0:49:42 > 0:49:43Right. Yeah. Right.
0:49:43 > 0:49:46When I went to see her about the postcards.
0:49:46 > 0:49:48I'm the police officer investigating.
0:49:48 > 0:49:50Ah, OK.
0:49:50 > 0:49:53- How you getting on with that?- Well, it's funny you should ask me that
0:49:53 > 0:49:56because you've solved a little mystery for me today.
0:49:56 > 0:49:57I'm sorry? I have?
0:49:57 > 0:50:00You appear in one of the photographs of your grandmother's house.
0:50:00 > 0:50:03At the front door. I was wondering who you were.
0:50:03 > 0:50:05Me? Are you sure.
0:50:05 > 0:50:07The latest set, for sure.
0:50:07 > 0:50:09- When were they taken? - I don't know exactly, but they were
0:50:09 > 0:50:12posted on the website this week, so I am guessing fairly recently.
0:50:12 > 0:50:14So why the sudden escalation?
0:50:14 > 0:50:16Your guess is as good as mine at this point.
0:50:16 > 0:50:18But we will find out, don't worry on that score.
0:50:20 > 0:50:21I wasn't.
0:51:10 > 0:51:13SHE SIGHS
0:51:13 > 0:51:14OK.
0:51:14 > 0:51:18Oh, eh... Don't worry. You look after the boys.
0:51:18 > 0:51:20It does me good to do this once in a blue moon.
0:51:20 > 0:51:21Thank you.
0:51:23 > 0:51:25SHE MAKES MOTOR NOISES
0:51:27 > 0:51:28- Matya.- Yep?
0:51:28 > 0:51:32Er, you do know, don't you, that if you ever wanted to bring
0:51:32 > 0:51:33a friend here, we wouldn't mind?
0:51:35 > 0:51:36That is kind. Thank you.
0:51:36 > 0:51:38One more.
0:51:38 > 0:51:41Friend. Boyfriend. Whatever.
0:51:41 > 0:51:43Thank you. I don't have a boyfriend at the moment.
0:51:43 > 0:51:44Right.
0:51:45 > 0:51:49# The wheels on the bus go round and round
0:51:49 > 0:51:50# Round and round
0:51:50 > 0:51:52ALL: # Round and round
0:51:52 > 0:51:55# The wheels on the bus go round and round
0:51:55 > 0:51:58# All day long. #
0:51:58 > 0:52:00I hate to interrupt this heart-warming, slash,
0:52:00 > 0:52:03nauseating scene, but has anyone seen my mobile?
0:52:10 > 0:52:13- TO KIDS:- OK, here we go.
0:52:15 > 0:52:16Bogdan, darling, it's Arabella.
0:52:16 > 0:52:18How busy are you at the moment?
0:52:18 > 0:52:20Come on, come on. We don't have all day!
0:52:28 > 0:52:30Come on. Hurry up.
0:52:34 > 0:52:38Bogdan, darling, five seconds. Literally, five seconds. Come in.
0:52:38 > 0:52:40Wait in the dining room.
0:52:41 > 0:52:43- MATYA:- Matya is coming!
0:52:46 > 0:52:49- Where are...? - SHE GASPS
0:52:49 > 0:52:50Hello!
0:52:52 > 0:52:54Where are you?
0:52:54 > 0:52:57Oh! I see you!
0:52:57 > 0:53:00- CHILD SQUEALS - Oh!
0:53:00 > 0:53:02You are so mine!
0:53:04 > 0:53:05You're it!
0:53:07 > 0:53:09This was a game.
0:53:09 > 0:53:11I know. I'm here to see Mrs Yount.
0:53:11 > 0:53:14Joshy didn't do a poop today.
0:53:15 > 0:53:17I did.
0:53:17 > 0:53:20Oh, mi dispiace, Bogdan, I'm so sorry, I'm racked with guilt.
0:53:20 > 0:53:23Listen, come with me. Can I show you my little thingies?
0:53:23 > 0:53:26I wanted to change the white to one of those Swedish types.
0:53:32 > 0:53:34Two sugars, by the way.
0:53:37 > 0:53:38Pardon?
0:53:38 > 0:53:40When I'm working here. I like two sugars in my tea.
0:53:42 > 0:53:43Like the British builders.
0:53:43 > 0:53:47I don't make tea for workmen. I look after the children.
0:53:47 > 0:53:50It was a joke! Sorry.
0:53:53 > 0:53:55So where are you from?
0:53:57 > 0:54:00- The Ukraine? Czech Republic? - Hungary.
0:54:00 > 0:54:03Ah, like the song.
0:54:03 > 0:54:04What song?
0:54:05 > 0:54:06Budapest.
0:54:06 > 0:54:08I'm from Kecskemet.
0:54:08 > 0:54:10There isn't a song about that.
0:54:11 > 0:54:13Your turn to guess.
0:54:13 > 0:54:17Oh, I don't need to. Arrogant, bad with children, builder - Polish.
0:54:20 > 0:54:22Will you tell Arabella I will call her with the exact quote?
0:54:22 > 0:54:24I am sure you can tell her yourself.
0:54:25 > 0:54:28If that is not beneath you as a Pole and a man.
0:54:28 > 0:54:30Joshua. Conrad.
0:54:30 > 0:54:33Wash your hands for food, darlings!
0:54:33 > 0:54:34Come on!
0:54:39 > 0:54:43HE SWEARS IN POLISH
0:55:19 > 0:55:21IN POLISH: Holy Mother of God.
0:55:33 > 0:55:35BEEP
0:55:39 > 0:55:40No.
0:55:42 > 0:55:45- BEEP - No, no, no.
0:55:45 > 0:55:46What?!
0:56:01 > 0:56:06HELICOPTER WHIRS ALARM CLOCK BEEPS
0:56:26 > 0:56:28They all stack up in order of delivery.
0:56:28 > 0:56:30I know how to stack newspapers, Rohinka.
0:56:31 > 0:56:34- Daadi Jaan?- Ah!
0:56:34 > 0:56:36Here she is. My little gurhyaa.
0:56:36 > 0:56:39Nice sweet tea for Daadi Jaan. Huh?
0:56:39 > 0:56:41Are those boys' pyjamas you're wearing?
0:56:41 > 0:56:43You're funny, Daadi Jaan.
0:56:43 > 0:56:44You shouldn't be up so early.
0:56:46 > 0:56:49You won't be top of the class if you don't get enough sleep.
0:56:49 > 0:56:51That's what I'm always telling her.
0:56:51 > 0:56:54Well, she doesn't seem to take much notice of you.
0:56:54 > 0:56:56Mm-mm!
0:56:56 > 0:57:00Very good, Fatima. Not perfect, but...
0:57:00 > 0:57:03- DOOR BANGS OPEN, WOMEN SCREAM - Police! Stay where you are!
0:57:03 > 0:57:06THEY SCREAM
0:57:06 > 0:57:09DOORS BANG
0:57:09 > 0:57:10Armed police!
0:57:10 > 0:57:13On the floor now! Arms behind your head. Arms behind your head!
0:57:16 > 0:57:18On the floor now!
0:57:18 > 0:57:20Arms behind your head! Arms behind your head!
0:57:20 > 0:57:21Get down!
0:57:21 > 0:57:24It's all right, darling. Let's go and find your mummy.
0:57:24 > 0:57:27My wife and kids. Where are my...where are my wife and kids?
0:57:27 > 0:57:29Where are my wife and kids?
0:57:29 > 0:57:31What are you doing?
0:57:31 > 0:57:33What are you doing, man? Get off! Get off me!
0:57:34 > 0:57:37Stay still! Stay where you are.
0:57:37 > 0:57:40- Show me your hands!- On the floor now! Get down on the ground.
0:57:40 > 0:57:44HELICOPTER WHIRS, YELLING
0:57:49 > 0:57:52- Get down on the ground! - We will not get down.
0:57:52 > 0:57:54Will you get down on the ground, Mum?!
0:57:54 > 0:57:56- You should be ashamed of yourself. - IN URDU:- Ill-mannered.
0:57:56 > 0:57:58You, you! Yes, I'm talking to you!
0:57:58 > 0:58:00Will you just get down, Mum?
0:58:00 > 0:58:02I won't get down. You will have to shoot me, young man.
0:58:02 > 0:58:04- Get down on the ground. - Mum, will you just get down?!
0:58:04 > 0:58:07Is that what you're ready to do? Are you ready to shoot me
0:58:07 > 0:58:10and then go home and tell your mother this is what you did?
0:58:10 > 0:58:11What are you doing?!
0:58:11 > 0:58:13Be quiet! Give me your hand.
0:58:19 > 0:58:21I haven't done anything!