0:00:40 > 0:00:42Come on! Feel the burn!
0:00:42 > 0:00:46WORKOUT MUSIC PLAYS IN BACKGROUND
0:00:46 > 0:00:47Ride with your legs!
0:00:59 > 0:01:02If you're talking, you're not working hard enough!
0:01:08 > 0:01:10And hike it up a gear!
0:01:17 > 0:01:19And feel the beat, come on!
0:01:26 > 0:01:30OK, that's it for today, everyone. Great work.
0:01:30 > 0:01:32Same time next week.
0:01:35 > 0:01:37Please, Alex, I...I just want to talk.
0:01:41 > 0:01:45- Take it, it's all I've got. - I don't want money.
0:01:47 > 0:01:49I'm...dying.
0:01:50 > 0:01:52No, you're lying.
0:01:53 > 0:01:56I've got pancreatic cancer.
0:02:00 > 0:02:02Oh, Ruth. This is Jock.
0:02:02 > 0:02:06He's got no idea how old he is, and according to a witness he was involved in an altercation
0:02:06 > 0:02:09with another gentleman of the road over the affections of a lady.
0:02:09 > 0:02:13Right, Jock, I'm Dr Winters. I'll need to take a look at your hand.
0:02:13 > 0:02:18- OK, he's been drinking?- Yeah. Meths, I think...- Right, I've got this.
0:02:18 > 0:02:20- All right, guys?- See ya.
0:02:22 > 0:02:25This'll make you laugh. Fella goes into a clothes shop, right,
0:02:25 > 0:02:29he says to the assistant, "I'm looking for the camouflage trousers,"
0:02:29 > 0:02:32and the assistant says "Good, aren't they?"
0:02:32 > 0:02:34What?
0:02:34 > 0:02:37- It's a joke.- Yeah, well, they're meant to be funny.
0:02:37 > 0:02:40- Blimey, how long are you going to keep this up?- I don't know, Jeff.
0:02:40 > 0:02:44A baby lost his father cos I was too busy making a stupid point about a tea break.
0:02:44 > 0:02:47- What d'you reckon? A couple of days do it(!)- Come on, mate.
0:02:47 > 0:02:50You have to let it go, move on, put it behind you, get the old mojo back.
0:02:50 > 0:02:55Wow! That's four completely useless platitudes in one sentence.
0:02:55 > 0:02:57You've been practising, haven't you?
0:03:03 > 0:03:05A few months.
0:03:05 > 0:03:07Three at the most.
0:03:11 > 0:03:12Is this another scam?
0:03:13 > 0:03:16I know I don't deserve your trust.
0:03:16 > 0:03:18The truth at last...
0:03:19 > 0:03:20The irony is...
0:03:21 > 0:03:24..I give up drinking and I give up gambling,
0:03:24 > 0:03:26and start to get my life straight...
0:03:26 > 0:03:28then this happens.
0:03:28 > 0:03:31Yes, I know.
0:03:31 > 0:03:32It's true, though.
0:03:32 > 0:03:35I'm done with it.
0:03:37 > 0:03:40Henry! Say hello to Alex, my little sister.
0:03:40 > 0:03:43Nice to finally meet you. I've heard a lot about you.
0:03:43 > 0:03:46Look, I don't want to embarrass you so I'll keep this simple.
0:03:46 > 0:03:49The regulars had a whip-round for you.
0:03:49 > 0:03:52- There's just shy of a grand in there.- Mate...
0:03:52 > 0:03:55- I can't take that. - You can, and you will.
0:03:55 > 0:03:58Do me a favour, don't insult us by refusing to take it.
0:04:02 > 0:04:04I don't know what to say.
0:04:05 > 0:04:09Right, Jock, you have spontaneous bacterial peritonitis,
0:04:09 > 0:04:12which is a side-effect of your liver disease.
0:04:12 > 0:04:16When you've sobered up we'll give you some antibiotics. Do you understand?
0:04:17 > 0:04:21No. He's going to need to sleep the booze off before we discharge him.
0:04:21 > 0:04:24You know, er, Jock's actually on my list of baby names.
0:04:24 > 0:04:27Really? You want to name our baby after a tramp?
0:04:27 > 0:04:30He's not a relation, is he, cos you look a bit...?
0:04:30 > 0:04:33Ha! Yeah! Not this Jock. Just Jock, you know?
0:04:33 > 0:04:37And if it was a girl I was thinking maybe... Marilyn.
0:04:37 > 0:04:40- Marilyn? As in Marilyn Monroe? - No, as in this dog I had when I was a kid.
0:04:40 > 0:04:43It's funny, she could do back-flips on command.
0:04:43 > 0:04:46Then when she got old, you mentioned back-flips to her and she'd go for you.
0:04:46 > 0:04:49- Loved that dog. - Let me think about it.
0:04:49 > 0:04:52Oh, I've thought about it and that would be a "no".
0:04:52 > 0:04:55Listen, I was wondering, er, if you'd given any thought to,
0:04:55 > 0:04:59you know, coming off the lithium, now that you're pregnant?
0:04:59 > 0:05:02Look, do you mind if we don't discuss this right now?
0:05:02 > 0:05:06- Maybe you should talk to your psychiatrist about it. - I've spoken to Andrew.
0:05:06 > 0:05:08Yeah? That's great. What did he say?
0:05:09 > 0:05:14Well, he said, erm, mentally I'm stable, I'm holding down a job, a relationship.
0:05:14 > 0:05:20And bearing in mind the possible dangers of taking lithium in the first trimester,
0:05:20 > 0:05:22he thinks I should come off it.
0:05:22 > 0:05:24Well, that's great news, isn't it?
0:05:24 > 0:05:27Hey. I know this is scary.
0:05:27 > 0:05:30Scary? It doesn't even come close.
0:05:30 > 0:05:33And like I said, I really don't want to talk about this now, not here.
0:05:36 > 0:05:38MOBILE BLEEPS
0:05:41 > 0:05:43- Work?- Yeah, yeah, sorry.
0:05:43 > 0:05:47I've got a studio full of yummy-mummies waiting for me. I've got to go.
0:05:47 > 0:05:48Erm...
0:05:50 > 0:05:52Er... I can I call you?
0:05:52 > 0:05:56Yeah. I've, er, got someone I'd like you to meet.
0:05:57 > 0:06:01- Patrick, my fiancee. - You're getting married?!- Yeah.
0:06:05 > 0:06:06It's good to see you.
0:06:10 > 0:06:14That fence down the garden needs a few nails in it
0:06:14 > 0:06:18- or it'll come down first proper storm you get.- It's all right, Granddad, I can do it.
0:06:18 > 0:06:20HE COUGHS
0:06:20 > 0:06:25Course you can! But I enjoy doing it. Keeps me active.
0:06:26 > 0:06:30Get to my age, it's a case of use it or lose it.
0:06:33 > 0:06:36- Chris!- Yeah, just a second.
0:06:38 > 0:06:40Need to talk to you!
0:06:44 > 0:06:45Hey!
0:06:45 > 0:06:47Hello!
0:06:47 > 0:06:50Hello. Ah! What's that cheesy grin for?
0:06:52 > 0:06:54No. Not here.
0:06:54 > 0:06:57He can't hear you, he's deaf as a post.
0:06:57 > 0:07:01Hey! As old as the hills and daft as a brush but not as deaf as a post.
0:07:01 > 0:07:03No, Chris, it's private.
0:07:03 > 0:07:05MOBILE PHONE RINGS
0:07:05 > 0:07:07Oh.
0:07:09 > 0:07:11Hello, Mum.
0:07:13 > 0:07:14Yeah...
0:07:15 > 0:07:17Now, this is going to sound mad...
0:07:17 > 0:07:20but I don't think I've ever been this happy.
0:07:20 > 0:07:23MUSIC: "Poker Face" by Lady Gaga
0:07:23 > 0:07:24Lime and soda?
0:07:26 > 0:07:28Here. Here's to family.
0:07:36 > 0:07:38I tell you what...
0:07:38 > 0:07:41I'm going to have a small one, just the one.
0:07:43 > 0:07:46After all, it's not every day you find your long lost sister, is it?
0:07:54 > 0:07:57HE GROANS IN PAIN
0:08:21 > 0:08:22Yes, fine.
0:08:24 > 0:08:27All right, come on, Granddad, I'll give you a lift home.
0:08:28 > 0:08:32Bloody electrics. Give it a few taps for me.
0:08:38 > 0:08:39Chris?
0:08:39 > 0:08:43LIGHT SIZZLES
0:08:43 > 0:08:45EXPLOSION
0:08:49 > 0:08:51FLAMES ROAR
0:08:52 > 0:08:54Argh!
0:08:54 > 0:08:57Chris! CHRIS!
0:08:58 > 0:09:04'Gamely as ever, watched by Shark, though. In between them, a bad mistake by A Thousand Dreams!
0:09:04 > 0:09:06'Mr Speculator and Shark, they now go on!
0:09:06 > 0:09:09'Mr Speculator, three for him this season!
0:09:09 > 0:09:11'Mr Speculator wins it from Shark...'
0:09:11 > 0:09:14Ever have one of those days where everything just...falls into place?
0:09:14 > 0:09:16Come on, come on...
0:09:26 > 0:09:30Control, this is 3006. We're at the scene, over.
0:09:30 > 0:09:32'Fire crew and police are on their way.'
0:09:32 > 0:09:36Bringing up the rear as usual. OK, kid, let's go.
0:09:36 > 0:09:38Help me! Help me!
0:09:40 > 0:09:44- Help me!- OK, love. What's his name? - It's Chris.
0:09:44 > 0:09:48- Chris. OK, mind yourself. Chris, can you hear me son?- How's my face?
0:09:48 > 0:09:50Some pretty bad burns to his face, Dixie.
0:09:50 > 0:09:54- Sweetheart, I need you to calm down if you can. - Terry, get him out.
0:09:54 > 0:09:56Terry? What, there's someone still inside?
0:09:58 > 0:10:01Hey, hey, hey! Where you going? Don't go in there! Dixie!
0:10:01 > 0:10:06FLAMES ROAR
0:10:07 > 0:10:09Terry!
0:10:09 > 0:10:13Terry! Argh!
0:10:13 > 0:10:16Terry, can you hear me, darling?
0:10:16 > 0:10:18OK, OK.
0:10:18 > 0:10:22My name's Dixie, I'm a paramedic, I need to get you out of here, OK?
0:10:22 > 0:10:24- Can you walk?- Yeah.- Good lad, let's get you up, on three.
0:10:24 > 0:10:27One, two, three... OK, sweetheart.
0:10:27 > 0:10:29One, two...
0:10:29 > 0:10:32- SHE YELLS WITH THE STRAIN - ..three. OK.
0:10:38 > 0:10:42HE BREATHES SHARPLY
0:10:57 > 0:11:00SIREN WAILS
0:11:04 > 0:11:07OK, Chris, we're going to be at the hospital soon.
0:11:07 > 0:11:09Feel free to step on it!
0:11:09 > 0:11:14And what did you think YOU were doing going in there?
0:11:21 > 0:11:24This is Chris Carey, he's got flash burns to his face and his arms.
0:11:24 > 0:11:28- GCS of 12. Sats of 96%. - OK, let's get him through to Resus!
0:11:28 > 0:11:31- Zoe, can you look at Dixie's arms for me, please?- No, I'm fine!
0:11:31 > 0:11:34- Dixie.- Honestly, they're just superficial.
0:11:34 > 0:11:37- They still need treating. Come with me.- Oh, come on, mate...- Shut up!
0:11:37 > 0:11:41- We need to get you checked over... - No, no, no! I want to be with him!
0:11:41 > 0:11:45All right! You will see him soon. We need to get you checked over separately, OK?
0:11:46 > 0:11:50- I want my sister called. - Plenty of time for that, mate. Let's get you inside first.
0:11:50 > 0:11:52- I've got her number here.- All right.
0:11:52 > 0:11:56- Airway clear, no sign of nasal hair singing or stridor. - Looks like mainly simple erythema.
0:11:56 > 0:12:01Some partial thickness blistering to neck and arms. Let's give him five more morphine,
0:12:01 > 0:12:04continue with the fluids, Parkland formula.
0:12:04 > 0:12:06OK, Chris? Can you feel pain anywhere else?
0:12:06 > 0:12:12GCS is low, Sats are down. He would have been exposed to hot gases.
0:12:12 > 0:12:14We need to get X-ray down here ASAP
0:12:14 > 0:12:17and start him on five nebulised Salbutamol.
0:12:17 > 0:12:22Hi, I'm Dr Keogh. Can you hear me? Can you tell me what happened in the explosion?
0:12:22 > 0:12:25- Excellent. - Soot and debris in the vomit.
0:12:25 > 0:12:28He was KO'd and there's evidence of a head injury.
0:12:28 > 0:12:32- We need to rule out a bleed. - OK, let's get that chest X-ray, get him up to CT, Stat.
0:12:32 > 0:12:36OK, Terry. Are you on any medication?
0:12:36 > 0:12:40Warfarin. Irregular heart beat.
0:12:40 > 0:12:42Had it for years.
0:12:42 > 0:12:46- How's Chris doing?- Well, once we're done here, we'll find out for you.
0:12:48 > 0:12:51- How bad is it?- Bad enough.
0:12:51 > 0:12:55We'll need to X-ray that leg but it could've been a lot worse. You've been very lucky.
0:12:55 > 0:12:57Right, we'll need to aspirate these blisters.
0:12:57 > 0:13:00- Might be a little bit uncomfortable. - Can Maria come in?
0:13:01 > 0:13:03Yeah, sure.
0:13:08 > 0:13:09How is he?
0:13:10 > 0:13:13Erm... He's hurt his head.
0:13:13 > 0:13:16And they're taking him for a scan.
0:13:16 > 0:13:20Maria, I'm so sorry. I knew that light was dodgy.
0:13:20 > 0:13:23I don't understand.
0:13:23 > 0:13:27The electrics in the garage. I shouldn't have tried to fix them myself.
0:13:28 > 0:13:29This is your fault?
0:13:31 > 0:13:35- He's fighting for his life! - I'm sorry...- Charlie, can you...?
0:13:35 > 0:13:38D'you know what I was going to tell him? I'm pregnant.
0:13:38 > 0:13:41I couldn't tell him because YOU were there, as usual, listening!
0:13:41 > 0:13:44- But...- What if he dies and he never even knows?!
0:13:44 > 0:13:46SHE GASPS IN PAIN
0:13:46 > 0:13:49- Maria!- All right, let's get you to a cubicle and get you checked over.
0:13:49 > 0:13:53Let's make sure you and your baby are all right.
0:13:54 > 0:13:56BP is 120 over 80.
0:13:57 > 0:14:00Before you collapsed, were you feeling light headed at all?
0:14:00 > 0:14:03I've got pancreatic cancer. I was in agony.
0:14:03 > 0:14:05I see.
0:14:05 > 0:14:08We'll sort some pain relief out for you, make you more comfortable.
0:14:10 > 0:14:12Any vomiting or nausea?
0:14:14 > 0:14:17- No.- OK, let's have a look.
0:14:17 > 0:14:20OK, no yellowing of the skin...
0:14:22 > 0:14:24..or the eyes.
0:14:24 > 0:14:26Look, I'm here. Don't worry.
0:14:27 > 0:14:30Is he going to be OK?
0:14:30 > 0:14:34- I'm afraid we don't know yet.- Would you mind finding someone who does?
0:14:35 > 0:14:38- Yeah, of course. Lloyd?- (Thank you.)
0:14:40 > 0:14:42- Find Jordan, yeah?- All right.
0:14:43 > 0:14:46- OK, right. Can I go back to work now, please?- Yes.
0:14:46 > 0:14:51But do me a favour, Dixie. Next time you decide to play Wonder Woman, will you do it on my day off?
0:14:54 > 0:14:57You got time to do an ultrasound?
0:14:59 > 0:15:03Chest X-ray's clear, head's NAD, too.
0:15:03 > 0:15:07- Must've been down to inhalation. - Yeah, lucky man.
0:15:07 > 0:15:11Let's keep him on half-hourly neuros and repeat gases in an hour, OK?
0:15:11 > 0:15:14Can we get a bed organised for him?
0:15:14 > 0:15:17- I think we can manage.- Excellent.
0:15:17 > 0:15:19I knew you'd come in handy.
0:15:22 > 0:15:24Is he always that patronising?
0:15:24 > 0:15:28I know. What a dinosaur! Frankly I'm surprised he didn't ask you to iron his shirts.
0:15:28 > 0:15:31- I know I would have. - Oh, ha-ha(!)
0:15:35 > 0:15:38Don't do the scary eyes, Jeff.
0:15:39 > 0:15:42- You shouldn't have gone in there. You could've died.- But I didn't.
0:15:42 > 0:15:45- But you could have.- But I didn't and neither did the old man.
0:15:45 > 0:15:49We follow procedure, Dix, remember? How many times have you told me that?
0:15:49 > 0:15:53"Wait for the Fire Brigade, make sure the building's safe," then we go in.
0:15:53 > 0:15:56And find a dead man! You were the one who said I'd lost me mojo...
0:15:56 > 0:16:00- Come on, mate, you know what I meant. - Yeah, I do. And you were right.
0:16:00 > 0:16:03And today I've got it back.
0:16:05 > 0:16:08OK, just want to have a little look in your eyes.
0:16:11 > 0:16:13Mm-hm.
0:16:13 > 0:16:18Pupil reaction seems fine. I gather you've not vomited or had any dizziness since you collapsed?
0:16:18 > 0:16:23Can we get this cleaned and dressed, please?
0:16:23 > 0:16:26Your brain sits in a cushion of fluid.
0:16:26 > 0:16:30It's there to protect it. And if your brain hits your skull hard enough...
0:16:30 > 0:16:32..it can be very serious,
0:16:32 > 0:16:35which is one of the reasons I want to keep you in overnight, to observe you.
0:16:35 > 0:16:38Pain there? What about there? Yeah, OK.
0:16:40 > 0:16:43- Who's your oncologist? - Er...
0:16:43 > 0:16:44HE GROANS SLIGHTLY
0:16:44 > 0:16:49- Dr Fawcett, at St James. - Dr Dominic Fawcett?- Yeah.
0:16:53 > 0:16:56Have you had any unexplained weight loss at all?
0:16:58 > 0:17:01- How much alcohol have you had today? - None.
0:17:03 > 0:17:06Can you tell me how long I've got left?
0:17:06 > 0:17:10No. Which is the second reason I want to keep you in overnight.
0:17:10 > 0:17:14Right, let's get some bloods, please, FBC, U&Es, LFTs,
0:17:14 > 0:17:17venous blood gas and an amylase. That's it for now.
0:17:21 > 0:17:23What d'you think?
0:17:23 > 0:17:28I think we wait until the test results are back before we jump to any conclusions, don't you?
0:17:28 > 0:17:29- Yeah. Er, Mr Jordan...- Mm?
0:17:29 > 0:17:34- What? Come on. - Er, there is something else...
0:17:34 > 0:17:37- er, not involving a patient.- Right...
0:17:37 > 0:17:38It's delicate.
0:17:40 > 0:17:41Thanks.
0:17:41 > 0:17:44That's the confirmation.
0:17:44 > 0:17:48- And the sound you can hear is your baby's heart beat.- And it's OK?
0:17:48 > 0:17:52Everything looks fine to me. You'll still need to be checked by someone from Obs and Gynae.
0:17:52 > 0:17:56- Charlie, can you sort that? - Yes, sure. Is this you first baby?
0:17:56 > 0:18:00We've had a few false alarms but, erm...
0:18:01 > 0:18:03..we ended up going for IVF.
0:18:03 > 0:18:09- Right. How many tries? - This was our third. But this isn't how it was supposed to be.
0:18:09 > 0:18:13It was supposed to be all smiles and people congratulating you.
0:18:13 > 0:18:18Not here, sitting here worried sick if your husband's going to live to see his child.
0:18:20 > 0:18:25Erm... Thank you, erm, for putting my mind at rest.
0:18:25 > 0:18:28(OK.)
0:18:28 > 0:18:30And, erm, what about the pain I had?
0:18:30 > 0:18:32- Has it come back at all?- No.
0:18:32 > 0:18:35Well, then it's almost certainly nothing to worry about.
0:18:35 > 0:18:38You just have to try and avoid stress as much as possible.
0:18:38 > 0:18:40I know this is as stressful as it can get
0:18:40 > 0:18:44but you have to try and stay calm for your baby.
0:18:44 > 0:18:45Can you do that?
0:18:45 > 0:18:48All right. Let's get you back to Resus.
0:18:52 > 0:18:54Congratulations.
0:18:54 > 0:18:55The baby.
0:18:55 > 0:18:58Sorry, I couldn't help overhear...
0:18:58 > 0:19:01No, it's OK. Thank you.
0:19:01 > 0:19:03- Hey, hey, hey, what's wrong? - It's all messed up...
0:19:03 > 0:19:09Nah! You're going to be OK. You've got to be now, haven't you?
0:19:09 > 0:19:13Maria, Chris has been asking for you.
0:19:14 > 0:19:18- All right?- Yeah, yeah! - See? I can always tell.
0:19:23 > 0:19:26Terry, you've got a shard of glass embedded in your leg
0:19:26 > 0:19:29which I'll remove so I'll need you to stay very still for me.
0:19:29 > 0:19:32- When can I talk to Chris? - Soon.
0:19:32 > 0:19:36He's doing well so you can put your mind at easy on that. And we've checked Maria over, she's fine.
0:19:36 > 0:19:39Right, sharp scratch.
0:19:39 > 0:19:40HE BREATHES IN SHARPLY
0:19:40 > 0:19:44OK. It must be nice having your family close.
0:19:44 > 0:19:47Well, it's nice for me.
0:19:47 > 0:19:51It's not so nice for them having a silly old duffer getting in the way,
0:19:51 > 0:19:53nearly blowing them to kingdom come.
0:19:53 > 0:19:55I'm sure they don't think that.
0:19:55 > 0:19:59I was a bloody useless old man to Chris's dad.
0:19:59 > 0:20:03I made sure I didn't make the same mistake with my grandson.
0:20:03 > 0:20:06Well, I'm sure Chris appreciates it.
0:20:06 > 0:20:07I hope so.
0:20:07 > 0:20:11He's like me, he's a grafter.
0:20:11 > 0:20:14Puts his shoulder to it and works through the bad times.
0:20:14 > 0:20:17You're very proud of him, aren't you?
0:20:19 > 0:20:21We're close.
0:20:21 > 0:20:22We were.
0:20:27 > 0:20:28And there it is.
0:20:28 > 0:20:30Wow.
0:20:30 > 0:20:35We'll just clean and dress the wound. Can I get a check X-ray please? OK.
0:20:35 > 0:20:36Thank you.
0:20:44 > 0:20:48Ruth. Good. I was hoping to catch you.
0:20:51 > 0:20:54I really thought I was going to lose you.
0:20:54 > 0:20:57Huh. You can't get rid of me that easily.
0:20:58 > 0:21:00And, I've got something to tell you.
0:21:03 > 0:21:05You're going to be a dad.
0:21:06 > 0:21:08You're joking?
0:21:08 > 0:21:09It's finally happened?
0:21:09 > 0:21:13You're pregnant?
0:21:13 > 0:21:15I just had an examination and they've confirmed it.
0:21:17 > 0:21:20- We're having a baby?- Yeah!
0:21:23 > 0:21:27We've checked your X-rays and both your lungs are working normally.
0:21:27 > 0:21:32No sign of pneumothorax - a collapsed lung. You inhaled smoke, but the head injury's uncomplicated.
0:21:32 > 0:21:35Scan came back clear. So all in all,
0:21:35 > 0:21:37you have been very lucky.
0:21:37 > 0:21:39So, er, what happens now?
0:21:39 > 0:21:43Well, we'll keep you under obs for a while and, er, see how you do.
0:21:43 > 0:21:46And, um, what about scarring?
0:21:46 > 0:21:50- There'll be some discoloration... fade with time.- See? Everything's going to be perfect.
0:21:52 > 0:21:54Look, um, I know it's a little bit too soon
0:21:54 > 0:21:58- but do you mind if I go and phone my mum and tell her?- Of course not.
0:21:58 > 0:22:00Quick as I can, yeah?
0:22:05 > 0:22:08Just looking at your injuries here...
0:22:08 > 0:22:13and, it looks like they were caused by some kind of petrol bomb.
0:22:13 > 0:22:17- You, er, you think there was a bomb? - Well, no, not a bomb as such.
0:22:17 > 0:22:22- I'm just talking about the type of burn.- Well, the van had a full tank, didn't it? It went up.
0:22:22 > 0:22:25She's an army doctor. It's a mindset.
0:22:25 > 0:22:27This is Holby, not Helmand.
0:22:35 > 0:22:37Things are fine.
0:22:41 > 0:22:45- Oh, you mean with the pregnancy? - Hmm.- Yeah, it's OK.
0:22:45 > 0:22:46Ruth,
0:22:46 > 0:22:50have you given any thought to how you're going to handle the medication?
0:22:50 > 0:22:54- Jay's spoken to you, hasn't he? - Hm.
0:22:54 > 0:22:58- You know, he had no right to go behind my back.- He's concerned.
0:22:58 > 0:23:01Look, I do know the issues around this.
0:23:01 > 0:23:06I know that there's probably a 10% chance of the lithium causing a congenital heart defect...
0:23:06 > 0:23:09which means there's a 90% chance of it not.
0:23:09 > 0:23:11Set against that, the risk, if I do stop taking it,
0:23:11 > 0:23:15- of having a relapse and causing God knows what damage.- Ruth.
0:23:15 > 0:23:20I'm aware of how hard you fought to get well after your illness.
0:23:20 > 0:23:22Then you know why I need to work this out for myself.
0:23:22 > 0:23:26But you're not on your own now. You don't have to do this by yourself.
0:23:26 > 0:23:27- I know that.- Do you?
0:23:30 > 0:23:31Yeah.
0:23:34 > 0:23:36Look, just talk to Jay.
0:23:36 > 0:23:39Discuss it with him. Include him.
0:23:39 > 0:23:41You know he won't let you down.
0:23:48 > 0:23:52So. Do you believe him about this explosion?
0:23:52 > 0:23:54You think he's making the whole thing up?
0:23:54 > 0:23:59OK, now you're being intentionally obtuse. It means dull-witted and mutton-headed.
0:23:59 > 0:24:02- I know what it means. - Only because I just told you.
0:24:02 > 0:24:05In fact, I know that he's lying.
0:24:05 > 0:24:07- Oh?- Take it from me.
0:24:07 > 0:24:11There's no way a van exploded next to him with a full tank.
0:24:11 > 0:24:15If it had, they'd still be searching for bits of him to identify.
0:24:15 > 0:24:20- Thank you, Inspector. This interests you because?- It interests me because it is interesting!
0:24:20 > 0:24:25- It also interests me that you don't find it interesting.- A dog playing the piano is interesting.
0:24:25 > 0:24:27All right, children. Enough bickering, please.
0:24:29 > 0:24:32Hello there, could I speak to Dr Fawcett?
0:24:32 > 0:24:35Well, I should hope he is busy! Tell him it's Nick Jordan at Holby City ED.
0:24:35 > 0:24:37And it is important.
0:24:39 > 0:24:43- Hiya.- Hi... - How are Chris and Terry doing?
0:24:43 > 0:24:46Yeah, yeah, um, they're OK, they're gonna be OK.
0:24:46 > 0:24:48Your arms?
0:24:48 > 0:24:50Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm fine.
0:24:50 > 0:24:51Back at work now.
0:24:51 > 0:24:54I, er, just found out I'm pregnant!
0:24:54 > 0:24:56- Yeah?- Yeah!
0:24:56 > 0:24:58You're not going to forget today in a hurry!
0:24:58 > 0:25:01Dix! We've got a shout.
0:25:01 > 0:25:06- Um, I just wanted to thank you for what you did.- No, it's all right. Just doing my job.
0:25:11 > 0:25:14Ah, Mrs Carey? Yeah, I thought so,
0:25:14 > 0:25:19I wasn't sure. These officers would like to have a few words with you about the explosion.
0:25:19 > 0:25:23Right, Mr Scotton. I have some remarkably good news for you. You don't have cancer.
0:25:27 > 0:25:31- What? So...what's wrong with me? - You have chronic pancreatitis.
0:25:31 > 0:25:34It's far less serious, and it's treatable.
0:25:35 > 0:25:40- So I'm not dying? - No, with lifestyle changes, you can expect a normal lifespan.
0:25:40 > 0:25:43Fatty foods of course are the things you need to avoid.
0:25:43 > 0:25:49Alcohol you should avoid completely. Right now you need pain relief, so let's get some fluid into the veins.
0:25:49 > 0:25:52Your blood sugar level is high, so we'll start you on some insulin.
0:25:52 > 0:25:56Jay, let's start him on a sliding scale of three units per hour.
0:25:56 > 0:25:59- They said I had cancer. - I spoke to Dr Fawcett.
0:25:59 > 0:26:02They said they've been trying to get hold of you for some time,
0:26:02 > 0:26:06- asking you to come in as a matter of urgency.- I didn't open the letters. - You should have.
0:26:06 > 0:26:11You share the name and date of birth of a very unfortunate man who,
0:26:11 > 0:26:16as we speak, is coming to terms with a diagnosis of stage four pancreatic cancer.
0:26:18 > 0:26:22If you have any questions, I'm here. And so is Dr Fawcett.
0:26:22 > 0:26:25Call him, go and see him. OK?
0:26:30 > 0:26:36- You'll be around for your sister's wedding after all. - I don't want her to know.
0:26:36 > 0:26:37You're kidding, aren't you?
0:26:40 > 0:26:44- She has to know if you haven't got cancer.- And I'll tell her. When I'm ready.- Come on, man.
0:26:44 > 0:26:48- She must be out of her mind worrying about you.- Lloyd. With me, please.
0:26:51 > 0:26:55- What's he playing at? It's his sister.- I don't know, Lloyd, you tell me.
0:26:55 > 0:26:59- What is he playing at?- I won't lie. - No-one's asking you to.- Good, cos...
0:26:59 > 0:27:01- We've got no right to tell her, either.- You reckon?
0:27:01 > 0:27:06He's an adult, he's of sound mind. We have to observe patient...
0:27:06 > 0:27:09confidentiality, that's right.
0:27:09 > 0:27:10And when I say we, I mean you.
0:27:10 > 0:27:15Oh, and while you're at it, you need to check his blood sugar levels as well.
0:27:20 > 0:27:23Oh, hey. You've been gone ages.
0:27:25 > 0:27:28I've, erm... I've just been interviewed by the police.
0:27:28 > 0:27:31Asking if I knew what caused the explosion.
0:27:31 > 0:27:32Er...
0:27:32 > 0:27:36- what did you say? - Just what Terry said.
0:27:36 > 0:27:40That he thought it was the electrics in the garage. They want to speak to you both.
0:27:40 > 0:27:43Yeah, well, that's just procedure, isn't it?
0:27:43 > 0:27:47- So they can go over everything for the insurance company.- Yeah.
0:27:47 > 0:27:49Hey, don't worry, it's gonna be fine.
0:27:49 > 0:27:54- Chris, is there something you're not telling me? - No, Maria, I swear I...
0:27:56 > 0:28:01Hey, er...Doc? When you going to have me up and out of here? Can't be clogging up your beds forever.
0:28:01 > 0:28:04I'm sure we can find you a wheelchair from somewhere.
0:28:04 > 0:28:06I'm afraid you won't be leaving us any time soon.
0:28:06 > 0:28:10- I need some water. - Maria, please, no, don't...
0:28:19 > 0:28:21I just need to check your blood sugar levels.
0:28:21 > 0:28:24MOBILE PHONE RINGS
0:28:24 > 0:28:27I've got to take this, sorry.
0:28:29 > 0:28:31Look, mate. I know this is all wrong
0:28:31 > 0:28:34but I'm fighting to keep hold of my sister here.
0:28:34 > 0:28:37If this is how you want to deal with it.
0:28:42 > 0:28:46Look, I don't know the story with you and Alex.
0:28:46 > 0:28:48You're right. You don't know.
0:28:48 > 0:28:53Until today, I hadn't spoken to her in seven years.
0:28:54 > 0:28:56When I was dying, I was happy...
0:28:56 > 0:29:01I thought, yes, I can finally be that person, you know, the...
0:29:01 > 0:29:04the brother she deserves.
0:29:06 > 0:29:07A few months...
0:29:08 > 0:29:11I can hold it together that long.
0:29:11 > 0:29:14And if dying's what it takes to make her look up to me again, then...
0:29:14 > 0:29:15huh, fair enough.
0:29:15 > 0:29:19So you think you can build a new relationship on a lie?
0:29:19 > 0:29:20Believe me, I've told bigger lies than this.
0:29:20 > 0:29:25I'm sure you have. And lost her for seven years.
0:29:30 > 0:29:35Um, I told them I'm not going to be coming into work for a while, so...
0:29:35 > 0:29:38- You didn't have to do that. - You're my big brother.
0:29:38 > 0:29:40What else am I going to say?
0:29:44 > 0:29:45Give us a moment?
0:29:56 > 0:29:58- He's telling her the truth. - Yeah?
0:30:00 > 0:30:03Whatever he's done, she'll understand. Family's family.
0:30:09 > 0:30:13Maybe you should tell her that, eh?
0:30:23 > 0:30:26Is this important? Cos I'm done here.
0:30:26 > 0:30:27I don't get it.
0:30:27 > 0:30:31I love my brother. But he is an addict. Gambling, drinking, lying.
0:30:31 > 0:30:34Do you have any idea what that means?
0:30:34 > 0:30:36It means he needs support.
0:30:36 > 0:30:40It means he will steal his dying father's credit cards and rack up
0:30:40 > 0:30:4497 grand's worth of debts in three nights on the internet.
0:30:44 > 0:30:48It means he will steal from his friends... Do you want more?
0:30:48 > 0:30:51Because that is just the tip of the iceberg.
0:30:52 > 0:30:56He was terrified of telling you he didn't have cancer.
0:30:58 > 0:31:02He was scared you'd walk out on him. Guess he was right.
0:31:09 > 0:31:11Are you OK?
0:31:14 > 0:31:17Just messed things up...again.
0:31:17 > 0:31:19With your girlfriend?
0:31:19 > 0:31:22Alex? She's my sister.
0:31:25 > 0:31:28I'm sure it'll be fine.
0:31:29 > 0:31:31See. Told you.
0:31:37 > 0:31:40- This is it, Roddy. Last chance. - No more lies, I promise.
0:31:42 > 0:31:43And the money, the £1,000?
0:31:43 > 0:31:46It's going straight back. As soon as I get out of here.
0:32:03 > 0:32:06OK, nice and easy. Get your feet on the floor...good.
0:32:06 > 0:32:12Oh! Maria, darling. Are you all right?
0:32:12 > 0:32:15Yeah. I'm so sorry I had a go at you earlier.
0:32:15 > 0:32:18Don't be silly. I deserved it.
0:32:18 > 0:32:20So I'm going to be a great-granddad?
0:32:20 > 0:32:22You'll need to take things easy for a while.
0:32:22 > 0:32:26The leg will hurt, but it's fine. I'll give you a few minutes, OK.
0:32:26 > 0:32:27Thank you.
0:32:29 > 0:32:32I was telling Chris here, I'm far too young.
0:32:32 > 0:32:36Mr Carey, the police are waiting to interview you. Think you're well enough?
0:32:36 > 0:32:38D'you mind if I finish speaking to my granddad?
0:32:38 > 0:32:40Whatever, take your time.
0:32:43 > 0:32:45I just feel so bloody guilty.
0:32:45 > 0:32:49- Honestly, you have got nothing to feel guilty about. - Yep, Chris is right.
0:32:49 > 0:32:50It was an accident.
0:32:52 > 0:32:55Er...I need help!
0:32:55 > 0:32:59Granddad? Granddad, can you hear me? Please!
0:32:59 > 0:33:02- OK, this is just to help you breathe, what's his name? - Terry...
0:33:02 > 0:33:06- Is he going to be OK? - Terry, can you open your eyes for me? Squeeze my finger?
0:33:06 > 0:33:08- Pulse is fast and irregular. - GCS is down to eight.
0:33:08 > 0:33:11Oh, right, his belly's rigid, this is an abdominal bleed.
0:33:11 > 0:33:15Possible splenic rupture. He's on Warfarin. We'll need to reverse that.
0:33:15 > 0:33:19- OK, get me 10mg of vitamin K and Beriplex.- He needs to go to Theatre immediately.
0:33:19 > 0:33:21- I'll call the surgical Reg. - Terry can you hear me?
0:33:21 > 0:33:24I want you to keep breathing for me!
0:33:24 > 0:33:26He's going to die, isn't he?
0:33:26 > 0:33:28Chris, you have got to tell me what's been going on.
0:33:28 > 0:33:30- I told you.- You're lying.
0:33:30 > 0:33:32No.
0:33:32 > 0:33:36Whatever it is, we can work it out, but you've got to tell me the truth.
0:33:36 > 0:33:37If I mean anything to you.
0:33:37 > 0:33:39You're everything.
0:33:41 > 0:33:46The explosion. It was because of something you did, wasn't it?
0:33:51 > 0:33:55The beriplex isn't working fast enough. His BP's not responding.
0:33:55 > 0:33:58What about Factor seven? We use it in the field to stop uncontrollable haemorrhage.
0:33:58 > 0:34:00On 20-year-old front-line troops, maybe.
0:34:00 > 0:34:03Give it to this guy, we risk turning his blood to soup
0:34:03 > 0:34:05- and killing him with a heart attack. - It's your call.
0:34:05 > 0:34:08Well, we can't wait any longer. We need to move him.
0:34:08 > 0:34:11Call the pharmacy. Get the Factor seven up there.
0:34:14 > 0:34:17- He's lost his output.- OK, change that. He's not going to make it.
0:34:17 > 0:34:19We'll have to deal with him in here...
0:34:19 > 0:34:24The truth is, the business isn't working.
0:34:24 > 0:34:29This guy I know gets petrol and sells it for less than half price.
0:34:29 > 0:34:34- I dunno where he gets it. I don't ask any questions.- You said the business was doing well.
0:34:34 > 0:34:36- You said that everything was fine. - I did it for you.
0:34:36 > 0:34:40No, you know what? I was doing it for me.
0:34:40 > 0:34:44Right, this was my business, my big idea.
0:34:44 > 0:34:47And I was desperate to keep it afloat.
0:34:47 > 0:34:52- And the thought of you knowing that I was a failure... - You are not a failure.
0:34:52 > 0:34:55I felt ashamed. Like I'd let you down...
0:34:57 > 0:34:59Yeah, I'm going to be late home tonight.
0:34:59 > 0:35:02Yeah, well, something's come up.
0:35:03 > 0:35:05Yep, it's my brother.
0:35:05 > 0:35:07I know, I know, but...
0:35:07 > 0:35:11Look, I'll explain everything when I see you. OK, yeah, I love you too.
0:35:11 > 0:35:13All right, bye.
0:35:29 > 0:35:30What's happened?
0:35:32 > 0:35:37Tell him...just tell him he's had his last second chance.
0:35:38 > 0:35:39Alex, wait.
0:35:46 > 0:35:48Er, give us a minute, please mate?
0:35:48 > 0:35:53- Look, this isn't what you think.- No? - No. Look at the horse's name!
0:35:53 > 0:35:56I can't believe you spent all that money on a bet.
0:35:56 > 0:35:59- Those people thought you were dying. - No, look!
0:35:59 > 0:36:02Fireworks Night. November the 5th. Your birthday.
0:36:02 > 0:36:06Remember...that's what we used to call you, our little Firework.
0:36:06 > 0:36:10Hm? It's what we used to call you. Me, Mum, Dad. Look!
0:36:10 > 0:36:13It's on at 20-1. 20-1!
0:36:13 > 0:36:15And I know it's gonna win.
0:36:16 > 0:36:19Look, look! I thought I had three months to live.
0:36:19 > 0:36:22I didn't want to die before your wedding.
0:36:22 > 0:36:25I thought, if I gave you the money, you could bring it forward.
0:36:25 > 0:36:26You said you were broke.
0:36:36 > 0:36:38He's been in asystole for ten minutes.
0:36:38 > 0:36:42Dylan, he's gone.
0:36:42 > 0:36:45Er, time of death, 15.32.
0:36:49 > 0:36:52- This is my fault. - Don't be ridiculous.
0:36:52 > 0:36:55He was my patient. It's down to me.
0:36:55 > 0:36:57I've seen blast victims too many times.
0:36:57 > 0:36:58I'm the one who missed it.
0:36:58 > 0:37:02Can we stop this? We did everything we could. All we can do is learn from it.
0:37:02 > 0:37:04But that won't make his family feel better, will it?
0:37:04 > 0:37:08No, but it will the next family in this situation, OK?
0:37:08 > 0:37:09OK?
0:37:16 > 0:37:20So how many times has she walked out on you before?
0:37:23 > 0:37:26This isn't really the end, you know that?
0:37:26 > 0:37:30It's over. I'm not going to be needing her number.
0:37:33 > 0:37:37And you're a bad liar. Either practise more or give it up.
0:37:39 > 0:37:41So this is you, is it?
0:37:41 > 0:37:45After seven years you have one day with her and then...
0:37:47 > 0:37:49And I prove, beyond a shadow of a doubt,
0:37:49 > 0:37:53that I'm still the same toxic...parasite.
0:37:55 > 0:37:59I don't have cancer - I am the cancer.
0:38:05 > 0:38:07We did everything we could.
0:38:10 > 0:38:12But he seemed OK.
0:38:13 > 0:38:15Well, his initial tests were fine,
0:38:15 > 0:38:18but he had massive blood loss in his abdomen.
0:38:18 > 0:38:21When he was laying down, he was OK,
0:38:21 > 0:38:25but when he stood up, he had something called postural hypotension
0:38:25 > 0:38:27which made his blood pressure drop.
0:38:28 > 0:38:33The Warfarin he was taking meant we couldn't control the bleed and stabilise him.
0:38:34 > 0:38:37We tried to get him to theatre, but he suffered a cardiac arrest.
0:38:40 > 0:38:41I'm really sorry.
0:38:52 > 0:38:54I need to speak with the police.
0:38:54 > 0:38:55No.
0:38:55 > 0:38:57I've got to tell them what happened.
0:38:57 > 0:39:01What will they do to you?
0:39:01 > 0:39:06I dunno. But whatever they do, I deserve it and more.
0:39:06 > 0:39:08And what will we do without you?
0:39:08 > 0:39:10You'll be better off.
0:39:10 > 0:39:15Chris, we're about to start a family.
0:39:15 > 0:39:17We have got no money. We are nothing without you!
0:39:20 > 0:39:25God forgive me for saying this, but what if it was Terry who stored the petrol?
0:39:25 > 0:39:26- No.- Yeah!
0:39:26 > 0:39:31- If it was his petrol and you didn't know anything about it. - I won't do that to him.
0:39:31 > 0:39:35I can't bring a baby up on my own, Chris. I need you with me.
0:39:37 > 0:39:39We both do.
0:39:44 > 0:39:49Ah, so, er, Lloyd, this bloke, he's a...bit of an expert on the gee-gees like?
0:39:49 > 0:39:54He's an alcoholic and compulsive gambler who's driven his sister away.
0:39:54 > 0:39:57- Ah, it is a terrible thing, the drink.- And the gambling?
0:39:57 > 0:40:00Well, yeah, that an' all. Erm, although, you know, it, er,
0:40:00 > 0:40:03doesn't do any harm to have a little flutter now and again, does it?
0:40:03 > 0:40:06Firework Night.
0:40:06 > 0:40:10BLEEPING
0:40:12 > 0:40:17Roddy? Roddy! Mr Jordan!
0:40:17 > 0:40:18Roddy!
0:40:20 > 0:40:23- Mr Scotton.- He's hypoglycaemic.
0:40:23 > 0:40:26Get me 50 mills of 20% dextrose IV, please, 500 millS infusion of 10%,
0:40:26 > 0:40:30that should wake him up pretty quickly. Thank you.
0:40:30 > 0:40:34- He's tried to kill himself. - Yeah. So it would seem.
0:40:34 > 0:40:38Let's run the 500 in stat over the next hour and then repeat the BM.
0:40:38 > 0:40:42Mr Scotton? Mr Scotton?
0:40:42 > 0:40:45There he is.
0:40:47 > 0:40:49Just give me two minutes, Jeff.
0:40:54 > 0:40:56Is everything all right?
0:40:56 > 0:41:01No. Erm...Chris's granddad.
0:41:01 > 0:41:03He...erm...he died.
0:41:03 > 0:41:06I'm so sorry.
0:41:06 > 0:41:11I've erm...got to speak to Chris. Thank you.
0:41:14 > 0:41:18Yes, you can help.
0:41:18 > 0:41:23He didn't make it. The old fella, Terry.
0:41:23 > 0:41:25What, the one you saved?
0:41:25 > 0:41:27Yeah...the one I saved.
0:41:29 > 0:41:32Well, we do what we can, eh?
0:41:32 > 0:41:34You were right. What you said.
0:41:34 > 0:41:36Yeah.
0:41:36 > 0:41:37What did I say?
0:41:37 > 0:41:40Look, you're no good to anyone dead, are ya, eh?
0:41:40 > 0:41:42Especially not me.
0:41:42 > 0:41:47Yeah, well, thanks for sticking by me. I owe you one.
0:41:47 > 0:41:51Yeah? In that case I'll have a nice ham and tomato sarnie please. Suggestion of mustard.
0:41:52 > 0:41:55I didn't mean it quite so literally.
0:41:55 > 0:41:57Lob in a cup o' Rosie and we'll call it quits, eh?
0:41:57 > 0:41:59Come on.
0:41:59 > 0:42:01You'll have to lend me a tenner.
0:42:01 > 0:42:03I've left it in me other trousers.
0:42:14 > 0:42:15Where's Chris?
0:42:15 > 0:42:17He's gone to talk to the police.
0:42:22 > 0:42:24Are you OK?
0:42:24 > 0:42:29No. I've done something really bad.
0:42:29 > 0:42:34And I wouldn't've asked him to do it if there was any other way, but...
0:42:34 > 0:42:40I was scared I was gonna lose him, that he'd go to prison, and Terry, he would do anything for Chris.
0:42:41 > 0:42:43He loves him.
0:42:47 > 0:42:48I need to stop him.
0:42:56 > 0:42:57Yes! Yes! Yes!
0:42:59 > 0:43:04- Mac!- Yes, sorry, it's a.. it's a...maintenance issue...
0:43:04 > 0:43:06it's been very temperamental of late...
0:43:06 > 0:43:10You were on a gambling site there, weren't you?
0:43:10 > 0:43:12Ah, no, no, I...I'm very hurt that you'd, er...
0:43:12 > 0:43:17Yeah, I did. And, and you won! Well, we won, right? You know.
0:43:17 > 0:43:20Fireworks Night. 20-1. You've won the best part of 20 grand
0:43:20 > 0:43:22and I've got 900 quid! Eh?
0:43:22 > 0:43:23High five!
0:43:25 > 0:43:26Fair enough.
0:43:30 > 0:43:32It's my lucky day.
0:43:38 > 0:43:39Chris...
0:43:42 > 0:43:45I don't want you to do it. It's not right.
0:43:45 > 0:43:47I've already spoken to the police.
0:43:49 > 0:43:53I couldn't lie. He's my granddad.
0:43:53 > 0:43:56I told them the truth.
0:43:58 > 0:43:59All of it.
0:44:02 > 0:44:04They've arrested me.
0:44:04 > 0:44:09As soon as I get out of here, I've got to go to the police station.
0:44:09 > 0:44:13It looks like they're going to charge me with manslaughter.
0:44:34 > 0:44:39Couldn't even kill myself properly. Such is my form, eh?
0:44:41 > 0:44:45You shouldn't have done it. Should have let me die.
0:44:45 > 0:44:47Better for everybody.
0:44:47 > 0:44:49Funnily enough, that's not our job.
0:44:52 > 0:44:54Well, I'll try it again.
0:44:54 > 0:44:56The odds are in my favour, I'll do it properly next time.
0:44:56 > 0:45:00And if we're around, we'll save you again.
0:45:03 > 0:45:07She was right, you know. Alex. I didn't do it for her.
0:45:07 > 0:45:10I mean, I did, but really it was, er...
0:45:10 > 0:45:13I'd have found another reason to do it.
0:45:13 > 0:45:18Is winning really that important to you?
0:45:18 > 0:45:23Winning doesn't matter. It's just an occasional by-product.
0:45:23 > 0:45:26Do you wanna know the best moment for a real gambler?
0:45:26 > 0:45:30What, when, when your horse romps home at 100/1?
0:45:30 > 0:45:32Hm. I knew you'd say that.
0:45:32 > 0:45:36No. It's when all the money's gone,
0:45:36 > 0:45:41when you've blown the lot and there's no-one else to rip off.
0:45:42 > 0:45:45You feel at peace then. You think it's over.
0:45:45 > 0:45:50You've hit rock bottom and you can finally sleep.
0:45:50 > 0:45:54Then you wake up the next morning and it starts all over again.
0:45:56 > 0:45:58Excuse me. 'Scuse me?
0:45:59 > 0:46:01I've got something for you.
0:46:24 > 0:46:27Got something for you, too.
0:46:31 > 0:46:36Give your sister one more call? Another roll of the dice?
0:46:50 > 0:46:53Hey. Heard you had a tough day.
0:46:53 > 0:46:55I've had better.
0:46:57 > 0:46:59Hang on a sec... What's this?
0:46:59 > 0:47:02- Hey! - Are they for me?
0:47:02 > 0:47:07Uh-huh. It was either that or a particularly sorry-looking bunch of carnations, so...
0:47:07 > 0:47:10- Good call. You can't eat carnations.- Exactly.
0:47:10 > 0:47:12And these are my favourites.
0:47:14 > 0:47:17Listen, about earlier, you know, me getting on at you.
0:47:17 > 0:47:23- It's all right. - No it's not. I shouldn't have pressurised you like that, OK?
0:47:23 > 0:47:27I know I need to come off the lithium. And I will.
0:47:29 > 0:47:35But, Jay... the places I went to in my head...
0:47:35 > 0:47:40unless you've been there, you'll never understand
0:47:40 > 0:47:44how frightening the thought of going back there is.
0:47:47 > 0:47:49I don't think I could get through it again.
0:47:49 > 0:47:51It's not gonna happen again.
0:47:53 > 0:47:56- How do you know? - Because I won't let it.
0:48:08 > 0:48:10You're sure?
0:48:10 > 0:48:11No.
0:48:14 > 0:48:16Yeah.
0:48:47 > 0:48:49Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd
0:48:49 > 0:48:52Email subtitling@bbc.co.uk