Mea Culpa

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0:00:50 > 0:00:54HE REVS ENGINE

0:00:59 > 0:01:01ENGINE STALLS

0:01:32 > 0:01:35So, you'll go through everything with the undertaker, yeah?

0:01:35 > 0:01:38I'll, um, I'll sort the flowers.

0:01:38 > 0:01:40I'll call everyone, let them know it's this Thursday.

0:01:40 > 0:01:43And Mum will have the kids tonight and tomorrow, OK?

0:01:43 > 0:01:46Yeah, that's good. That's good.

0:01:49 > 0:01:51Where are the car keys?!

0:01:51 > 0:01:53Just take it easy, OK?

0:01:54 > 0:01:57They're here, here they are.

0:01:59 > 0:02:03Once the funeral's out the way, things will be back to normal, OK?

0:02:03 > 0:02:05Come here. Come on.

0:02:07 > 0:02:09It's OK.

0:02:09 > 0:02:10It's OK.

0:02:14 > 0:02:17HE SIGHS

0:02:39 > 0:02:44SIREN BLARES

0:02:52 > 0:02:54Referral forms?

0:02:54 > 0:02:56Yeah, they're behind the...

0:02:56 > 0:02:58Ah, sorry, Tess.

0:02:58 > 0:02:59Tell me you ordered them?

0:02:59 > 0:03:02- I meant to, but...- How do we keep on top of the paperwork, Noel?

0:03:02 > 0:03:04I'm so...

0:03:04 > 0:03:09- Morning!- Morning. - Um, I'm looking for Mr Jordan?

0:03:09 > 0:03:12- Right, if you take a seat, I'll let him... You are?- Sam Nicholls.

0:03:15 > 0:03:17Excuse me, are you all right?

0:03:21 > 0:03:24- Has she been here long?- No.

0:03:24 > 0:03:26Not booked in. Maybe she's waiting on someone.

0:03:26 > 0:03:30It's just, people usually look up. But, she's not.

0:03:30 > 0:03:34PHONE RINGS

0:03:38 > 0:03:40Miss. Miss!

0:03:42 > 0:03:44- You're not supposed to... - Mr Jordan?

0:03:44 > 0:03:47Dr Nicholls. This is Dr Nicholls, everyone, she's joining us.

0:03:47 > 0:03:49- Tomorrow, I thought it was? - Ah, yeah, about that.

0:03:49 > 0:03:52Could I have a quick word with you when you're free?

0:03:52 > 0:03:56Noel, will you show her through to my office, I'll be along shortly.

0:03:56 > 0:03:57What happened to him?

0:03:59 > 0:04:00He's a postman.

0:04:00 > 0:04:04He was naughty, doing his rounds on his motorbike and his bag strap

0:04:04 > 0:04:06got caught in the wheel and...

0:04:06 > 0:04:08He's going to lose that arm.

0:04:08 > 0:04:09Thanks for sharing that.

0:04:09 > 0:04:12I'm aware of the possibility. Let's hope it doesn't happen.

0:04:12 > 0:04:15I'm sure Orthopaedics and Plastics have their own opinion.

0:04:15 > 0:04:20Yes, you're quite right, Mr Jordan. Let them try everything else, first.

0:04:20 > 0:04:22Good luck to him.

0:04:37 > 0:04:39You've been reading that for an hour.

0:04:48 > 0:04:49Can I?

0:04:51 > 0:04:52Paul?

0:05:09 > 0:05:12You don't believe it, do you?

0:05:12 > 0:05:13He was depressed.

0:05:13 > 0:05:16You...you can't read anything into that.

0:05:17 > 0:05:19The last thing he did...

0:05:22 > 0:05:24..before he...

0:05:26 > 0:05:28..before he took his own life...

0:05:30 > 0:05:32..he sent this to me.

0:05:33 > 0:05:36But he wasn't thinking about you, he...

0:05:36 > 0:05:39I'm sorry, he wasn't thinking about anyone but himself, he...

0:05:45 > 0:05:48Look, after the funeral, we'll report it to the diocese.

0:05:48 > 0:05:50- Let them...- They'll cover it up.

0:05:52 > 0:05:53That's what they do.

0:05:55 > 0:05:56No-one's going to believe...

0:05:56 > 0:05:58No, I don't believe it!

0:05:58 > 0:06:02I've known Father Vincent since I was a girl, there's no way he'd...

0:06:02 > 0:06:05- HE SHOUTS - He was going to take his own life!

0:06:07 > 0:06:10Why would he lie?

0:06:11 > 0:06:12(Oh!)

0:06:16 > 0:06:17So...

0:06:18 > 0:06:20- Dr Nicholls.- Sam.

0:06:20 > 0:06:23- Sit down.- So, how is he?

0:06:23 > 0:06:26- How's who?- The postman?

0:06:27 > 0:06:29Still attached to his arm, thank you for asking.

0:06:31 > 0:06:33Starting as you mean to continue?

0:06:33 > 0:06:35You keep speaking your mind.

0:06:35 > 0:06:37Fearless is good.

0:06:37 > 0:06:40I've been looking forward to working with you.

0:06:40 > 0:06:42I used to read your papers in my bivvy at night.

0:06:42 > 0:06:45Well, I hope they helped you get to sleep.

0:06:45 > 0:06:49So, why did you come a day early, then?

0:06:49 > 0:06:52Well, I was hoping to get out with the paramedics, recce the place.

0:06:52 > 0:06:54If that would be OK?

0:06:54 > 0:06:56I'll see what I can do.

0:06:56 > 0:06:58- So, you're in the army?- Yeah.

0:06:58 > 0:07:00- How long are you around? - Nine-month secondment.

0:07:00 > 0:07:03Oh, we got a fella here, he's ex-army, name's Big Mac.

0:07:03 > 0:07:07Don't get him started though, you'll need industrial-strength earmuffs.

0:07:07 > 0:07:11Oh, um, I need a B&B just for tonight. Who should I talk to?

0:07:11 > 0:07:12Talk to Noel.

0:07:12 > 0:07:15- Two hours, I've been waiting! - I appreciate that.

0:07:15 > 0:07:17We'll get you seen as soon as we can.

0:07:17 > 0:07:20- Well, do that instead of playing with toys!- Oi!

0:07:20 > 0:07:21Excuse me, mate.

0:07:21 > 0:07:23Noel, I start work here as of tomorrow.

0:07:23 > 0:07:26- Could you book me in a B&B? DIXIE:- Sam, got a shout!

0:07:26 > 0:07:28- Hang on.- Nothing fancy. - That's not my job!

0:07:28 > 0:07:30How much longer will I have to wait?

0:07:30 > 0:07:32Can you hang on, please? Hello, Holby...

0:07:32 > 0:07:36- Look, I want my leg seen to, now! - Could you just back off, please?

0:07:36 > 0:07:38Just get me a doctor.

0:07:42 > 0:07:44PHONE RINGS

0:07:46 > 0:07:49- Holby. - CLEARS THROAT

0:07:49 > 0:07:50Holby ED.

0:07:50 > 0:07:53You need to calm down, Paul.

0:07:53 > 0:07:56- You've not been thinking clearly since Fran died.- No! Do not call him!

0:07:56 > 0:07:59- You need to hear this from Father Vincent.- Too right!

0:07:59 > 0:08:01Too right, I do!

0:08:02 > 0:08:05DOOR BANGS

0:08:06 > 0:08:09I want a screen put up on the reception desk.

0:08:09 > 0:08:11Scarlett? Can we start working through this board?

0:08:11 > 0:08:15- There's a couple of patients about to turn red.- Yeah, I'm on it.- Tess!

0:08:15 > 0:08:17You know I don't like screens there.

0:08:17 > 0:08:19- We'll talk about it later.- Later?

0:08:19 > 0:08:23If I spend less time debating this and more time treating the patients,

0:08:23 > 0:08:26they won't lose their rag and you wouldn't need a screen!

0:08:26 > 0:08:27So, later.

0:08:29 > 0:08:31Right.

0:08:31 > 0:08:33And he's still in theatre, yeah?

0:08:33 > 0:08:35How is his arm?

0:08:36 > 0:08:38OK. Let me know what happens, thank you.

0:08:40 > 0:08:42Hi, yes, it's Noel Garcia in the ED.

0:08:42 > 0:08:45I want to speak to someone about getting a screen installed

0:08:45 > 0:08:47on the reception desk.

0:08:47 > 0:08:49Oh, that's grand.

0:08:49 > 0:08:51And have you a hymn sorted out?

0:08:51 > 0:08:52DOORBELL RINGS

0:08:55 > 0:08:56Good.

0:08:57 > 0:08:59How's the nerves?

0:08:59 > 0:09:01DOORBELL RINGS

0:09:02 > 0:09:03Well, I'm only going to marry you

0:09:03 > 0:09:05the once, you know, Bridget!

0:09:05 > 0:09:07All right, God bless, ta-ra now.

0:09:07 > 0:09:10DOORBELL IS RUNG IMPATIENTLY

0:09:10 > 0:09:11- Hello.- Where is he?

0:09:11 > 0:09:13What? Paul!

0:09:13 > 0:09:15What did you do to Francis?

0:09:15 > 0:09:17- HE BELLOWS - What did you do to my brother?!

0:09:21 > 0:09:23Excuse me? That's my action figure.

0:09:24 > 0:09:27- My son always loved Stealthior. - Me, too.

0:09:27 > 0:09:30- He was always the coolest.- Oh.

0:09:30 > 0:09:31Loved?

0:09:31 > 0:09:34Sorry, do you need to see a doctor?

0:09:36 > 0:09:38Then, can I ask why you're here?

0:09:38 > 0:09:40Gareth died here.

0:09:41 > 0:09:44A year ago, today.

0:09:45 > 0:09:46I'm sorry.

0:09:47 > 0:09:51Look, I don't want to get in the way.

0:09:52 > 0:09:54But I need to be here.

0:09:56 > 0:09:57If that's OK?

0:10:04 > 0:10:07I didn't do anything to your brother.

0:10:07 > 0:10:09- I'm calling the police.- Shut up! - Paul.- Shut up.

0:10:09 > 0:10:11- We could talk about...- Shut up!

0:10:11 > 0:10:12Read this.

0:10:12 > 0:10:13"Paul.

0:10:13 > 0:10:17- "I'm sorry I haven't written or phoned..."- Louder!

0:10:17 > 0:10:18He needs to hear this!

0:10:20 > 0:10:24"I'm sorry I haven't written or phoned for a long time.

0:10:24 > 0:10:26"I'm such a hopeless brother."

0:10:26 > 0:10:28I'm sorry, I...

0:10:28 > 0:10:29- Keep going! - Read it. Read it.

0:10:29 > 0:10:31"All I have is despair

0:10:31 > 0:10:32"and hate.

0:10:32 > 0:10:34"There is nothing good in life.

0:10:34 > 0:10:37"I can't remember a single moment of happiness since Father Vincent

0:10:37 > 0:10:39"destroyed my life."

0:10:39 > 0:10:40Oh, Paul, please.

0:10:40 > 0:10:41Father Vincent.

0:10:41 > 0:10:44"I've never got over what he did to me.

0:10:44 > 0:10:47"All I want is to stop feeling like this.

0:10:47 > 0:10:49"All I want is to feel nothing."

0:10:50 > 0:10:53Nothing. His life was a mess.

0:10:53 > 0:10:56- And it was always someone else's fault.- Lying. Stop lying!

0:10:56 > 0:10:59He couldn't cope with this world.

0:10:59 > 0:11:00My heart breaks for him.

0:11:00 > 0:11:04I...I tried to do the best I could for the both of yous.

0:11:04 > 0:11:06To make men of you.

0:11:06 > 0:11:07But come on, Paul. In the end...

0:11:07 > 0:11:10he was just weak.

0:11:10 > 0:11:11Paul?

0:11:11 > 0:11:14Paul, I think you should leave now.

0:11:14 > 0:11:16- No!- What? Wait.

0:11:17 > 0:11:19Please, Paul. I think you should go now.

0:11:19 > 0:11:21Oh, do something!

0:11:21 > 0:11:23No!

0:11:23 > 0:11:24Put down the knife. Paul, please.

0:11:24 > 0:11:27- Put down the knife! Please! - Let Go!- Please!

0:11:27 > 0:11:28FATHER VINCENT GASPS

0:11:35 > 0:11:36Oh!

0:11:36 > 0:11:37Oh!

0:11:38 > 0:11:40- Call an ambulance!- No.

0:11:40 > 0:11:42- Call an ambulance!!- NO!

0:11:42 > 0:11:45HELEN PANTS

0:11:50 > 0:11:53I had a call from upstairs, wanting to know if Mr Jordan and I

0:11:53 > 0:11:57OK'd the installation of a screen on reception.

0:11:58 > 0:12:00I made the call, Tess.

0:12:00 > 0:12:02- Hmm.- Look, I deal with stroppy patients all of the time,

0:12:02 > 0:12:05and when they're losing their rag cos they're having to wait,

0:12:05 > 0:12:07it's me who gets it.

0:12:07 > 0:12:08Sister Bateman?

0:12:08 > 0:12:12That's Seonaidh Lucas. Her son died here a year ago.

0:12:15 > 0:12:17Yes, I remember. He drowned.

0:12:18 > 0:12:20(Yeah.)

0:12:21 > 0:12:23Would you like Noel to call your husband?

0:12:23 > 0:12:25Oh, no, no, no.

0:12:25 > 0:12:26Thank you.

0:12:26 > 0:12:29We're not together any more.

0:12:29 > 0:12:32He, er... moved on!

0:12:32 > 0:12:35I mean...

0:12:35 > 0:12:37we lost our only child.

0:12:37 > 0:12:39Is it right...

0:12:39 > 0:12:41to move on?

0:12:44 > 0:12:48He's bleeding to death, Paul, please, just call an ambulance!

0:12:48 > 0:12:51Look, I'll explain what happened to Fran.

0:12:51 > 0:12:53I'll tell them you're not violent.

0:12:53 > 0:12:56- Just please, please call an ambulance!- Put the phone down!

0:12:57 > 0:12:59Just give me time to think!

0:12:59 > 0:13:01Nobody move!

0:13:09 > 0:13:10- How, eh...- Ambulance.

0:13:10 > 0:13:13How dangerous is he?

0:13:13 > 0:13:16- He's not!- I'm in the Saint Maria Goretti Priests' House...

0:13:16 > 0:13:18It's... He's got a temper

0:13:18 > 0:13:20but I've never seen him like this.

0:13:20 > 0:13:22Up until Fran we were happy.

0:13:22 > 0:13:24One of the priests has had an accident. Heart attack.

0:13:24 > 0:13:26Just, get here fast.

0:13:26 > 0:13:29He's dying.

0:13:44 > 0:13:48- Is there any other family you'd like us to contact?- Ah, honestly it's...

0:13:48 > 0:13:49it's fine.

0:13:57 > 0:13:59Did you get to say goodbye to him?

0:14:00 > 0:14:02I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I didn't...

0:14:02 > 0:14:04It's OK.

0:14:05 > 0:14:06He...

0:14:06 > 0:14:08was a beautiful boy.

0:14:08 > 0:14:10Eh?

0:14:11 > 0:14:15And he was going to be such a wonderful man.

0:14:15 > 0:14:17And he loved his superheroes!

0:14:19 > 0:14:224.45...

0:14:22 > 0:14:25a year ago, today.

0:14:27 > 0:14:31And there weren't any superheroes for him then, were there?

0:14:36 > 0:14:38Excuse me, I...

0:14:38 > 0:14:40I've just got to, um...

0:14:45 > 0:14:47SIREN BLARES

0:14:47 > 0:14:48Right, here we go.

0:14:49 > 0:14:51London Road.

0:14:53 > 0:14:55They're here.

0:14:55 > 0:14:57Hello? Ambulance!

0:14:58 > 0:14:59In here.

0:15:03 > 0:15:05Hang on, this isn't what we...

0:15:05 > 0:15:08I put pressure on but it won't stop bleeding.

0:15:08 > 0:15:11It's all right, I've got it. OK.

0:15:11 > 0:15:13- Whoa!- Arterial bleed!

0:15:13 > 0:15:16- OK, keep your hands back for me, please?- His resps are low.

0:15:16 > 0:15:17He's tachy at 130.

0:15:17 > 0:15:19OK, we need to get fluids in

0:15:19 > 0:15:23and I need to stop this bleed as soon as possible, or he dies.

0:15:23 > 0:15:26OK, keep your hands nice and hard for me. Firm pressure.

0:15:29 > 0:15:31Look, we can save him,

0:15:31 > 0:15:34but I need to get some stuff from the ambulance first, OK?

0:15:34 > 0:15:36- PAUL:- You'll call the police.

0:15:36 > 0:15:38- I won't have time.- Jeff.

0:15:41 > 0:15:42Oh, OK.

0:15:42 > 0:15:44All right, mate.

0:15:44 > 0:15:46Could you, uh, just let my friend pass, please?

0:15:46 > 0:15:49Then we can try and help your mate.

0:15:49 > 0:15:51Is that all right with you?

0:15:51 > 0:15:52I won't be long.

0:15:52 > 0:15:54Just let me pass, OK?

0:15:54 > 0:15:56- JEFF: Thank you. - DIXIE: Thank you.

0:15:59 > 0:16:01OK, crack on, then.

0:16:15 > 0:16:17How we doing?

0:16:22 > 0:16:23What's that?

0:16:23 > 0:16:25Celox.

0:16:25 > 0:16:28As soon as it's in contact with the blood it clots it.

0:16:28 > 0:16:30OK.

0:16:30 > 0:16:31You're lucky.

0:16:31 > 0:16:33Lucky?

0:16:33 > 0:16:36Lucky-ish. One of the perks of being an army doc -

0:16:36 > 0:16:39- toys civilians can only dream about.- He's not going to die?

0:16:39 > 0:16:42He's got a chance. That's all.

0:16:42 > 0:16:45- OK, give me four minutes of firm pressure, Jeff.- All right.

0:16:46 > 0:16:50- Sounding a bit wheezy to me?- Yeah.

0:16:50 > 0:16:51Vincent, please.

0:16:51 > 0:16:53Just tell me what you did to him!

0:16:53 > 0:16:54Did to who?

0:16:54 > 0:16:56My brother. He abused my brother.

0:16:57 > 0:16:59FATHER VINCENT: Oh. Oh, no!

0:16:59 > 0:17:02- We need to get him to hospital fast. - I didn't.- No.

0:17:02 > 0:17:04He and the church will get their story straight. Tell me.

0:17:04 > 0:17:07- I didn't.- Tell me what you did to him. Just tell me.

0:17:07 > 0:17:08- Take it easy.- Tell me!

0:17:08 > 0:17:09Tell me!

0:17:09 > 0:17:10DIXIE: Jeff!

0:17:10 > 0:17:13- Oof!- Just calm down, all right?

0:17:13 > 0:17:16- Whoa, whoa.- Whoa, whoa, easy, easy.

0:17:16 > 0:17:19PAUL PANTS

0:17:21 > 0:17:24- Sam! We need you back here. - OK, let's elevate this leg.

0:17:24 > 0:17:28I'm going to get some wheels. Can you come with me, please, mate?

0:17:28 > 0:17:29Israeli bandage on.

0:17:29 > 0:17:31One, two...three!

0:17:31 > 0:17:33It's all right, stay calm. Are you still with us?

0:17:33 > 0:17:36Yeah, the screen should come about here, Tess.

0:17:36 > 0:17:39- You spoken to Mr Jordan? - You were out of order doing this.

0:17:39 > 0:17:42No, no. I got the message. My safety isn't high on your priorities.

0:17:42 > 0:17:45It isn't high on anyone's priorities.

0:17:45 > 0:17:47I do take your safety very seriously.

0:17:47 > 0:17:49Later?

0:17:50 > 0:17:52OK.

0:17:52 > 0:17:54I'll look into it with Mr Jordan.

0:17:54 > 0:17:55Thank you.

0:18:05 > 0:18:07Oh, no!

0:18:08 > 0:18:10HE SIGHS

0:18:16 > 0:18:20- OK, push in another unit of saline. - I'm way ahead of you.

0:18:20 > 0:18:22OK.

0:18:23 > 0:18:25He's more tachycardic.

0:18:25 > 0:18:27Resps 30.

0:18:27 > 0:18:29He's barely moving any air.

0:18:30 > 0:18:32Central cyanosis.

0:18:34 > 0:18:36You asthmatic? He's having an asthma attack.

0:18:36 > 0:18:37Floor it, Jeff!

0:18:37 > 0:18:38Hang on,

0:18:38 > 0:18:41- what's this clown doing? - CAR HORN BEEPS

0:18:41 > 0:18:44SIREN BLARES

0:18:44 > 0:18:46CAR HORN BEEPS

0:18:51 > 0:18:52Hang on!

0:18:54 > 0:18:55SAM AND DIXIE: Whoa!

0:18:55 > 0:18:57Geez, what the hell was that?!

0:18:57 > 0:18:58Some clown's just rammed us!

0:18:58 > 0:19:01Give me five milligrams of Salbutamol and a nebuliser.

0:19:01 > 0:19:04- It's on its way. Here it comes again, Jeff!- Hold on!

0:19:04 > 0:19:06SIREN BLARES

0:19:08 > 0:19:09TYRES SQUEAL

0:19:09 > 0:19:12The nebuliser! I can't give him this without it.

0:19:12 > 0:19:15The chamber fell out when we swerved, that was the last one.

0:19:15 > 0:19:18- What? There aren't any more nebulisers?- Afraid not.

0:19:18 > 0:19:21I'm going to slow down. Hang on!

0:19:23 > 0:19:25SAM AND DIXIE: Whoa!

0:19:38 > 0:19:41PAUL REVS ENGINE

0:19:43 > 0:19:44Jeff, we can't stop!

0:19:52 > 0:19:54SIREN BLARES

0:19:54 > 0:19:553006 to control.

0:19:55 > 0:19:58Urgent backup needed on the approach to Holby Interchange.

0:19:58 > 0:20:01I'm being rammed off the road.

0:20:05 > 0:20:09Stats at 88%. I'm going to push in more O2.

0:20:09 > 0:20:12- You think that'll help?- Without nebulisers that's all we've got.

0:20:12 > 0:20:15Got nothing in your bag? Nothing us civilians can just dream of?

0:20:17 > 0:20:18Here he comes!

0:20:18 > 0:20:21SIREN BLARES

0:20:23 > 0:20:24OK, hang on!

0:20:28 > 0:20:30Just keep it steady, Jeffrey!

0:20:30 > 0:20:31Steady? Great. Anything else?

0:20:31 > 0:20:35- I need 200 mils of Hydrocortisone. - OK, on it.

0:20:35 > 0:20:37All right, brace yourselves!

0:20:46 > 0:20:48PARAMEDICS SCREAM

0:21:14 > 0:21:15Oof!

0:21:23 > 0:21:25I'm not finished with him!

0:21:25 > 0:21:26I'd say you are.

0:21:26 > 0:21:28POLICE SIREN BLARES

0:21:28 > 0:21:31DIXIE PANTS

0:21:33 > 0:21:34- JEFF:- You all right?

0:21:34 > 0:21:35Oof, yeah.

0:21:35 > 0:21:38Yeah, I think so.

0:21:38 > 0:21:39You OK?

0:21:39 > 0:21:41Yeah, yeah. Ha! Ha-ha!

0:21:43 > 0:21:46How long till another ambulance gets here?

0:21:46 > 0:21:48I dunno. Five minutes.

0:21:48 > 0:21:49That's too long.

0:21:49 > 0:21:51He needs to get into hospital now.

0:21:51 > 0:21:53Let's press-gang that police car.

0:21:53 > 0:21:55Come on.

0:21:55 > 0:21:57Come on, then. Let's get him out.

0:21:57 > 0:21:58- Aah!- Argh!

0:22:12 > 0:22:17MUSIC: "Faint" by Linkin Park

0:22:20 > 0:22:24# I can't feel the way I did before

0:22:24 > 0:22:26# Don't turn your back on me

0:22:26 > 0:22:28# I won't be ignored

0:22:28 > 0:22:29# Time won't heal

0:22:29 > 0:22:31# This damage anymore

0:22:31 > 0:22:33# Don't turn your back on me

0:22:33 > 0:22:36# I won't be ignored

0:22:36 > 0:22:40# I can't feel the way I did before

0:22:40 > 0:22:42# Don't turn your back on me

0:22:42 > 0:22:44# I won't be ignored

0:22:44 > 0:22:46# Time won't heal

0:22:46 > 0:22:47# This damage anymore

0:22:47 > 0:22:49# Don't turn your back on me

0:22:49 > 0:22:53# I won't be ignored

0:22:53 > 0:22:56# No, hear me out now

0:22:56 > 0:22:58# You're gonna listen to me

0:22:58 > 0:22:59# Like it or not

0:22:59 > 0:23:01# Right now

0:23:01 > 0:23:03# Hear me out, now

0:23:03 > 0:23:05# You're gonna listen to me

0:23:05 > 0:23:06# Like it or not

0:23:06 > 0:23:07# Right now

0:23:07 > 0:23:10# I can't feel the way I did before

0:23:10 > 0:23:12# Don't turn your back on me

0:23:12 > 0:23:15# I won't be ignored... #

0:23:15 > 0:23:19PHONE RINGS

0:23:25 > 0:23:28SIREN BLARES

0:23:29 > 0:23:31Right, quick as you can.

0:23:32 > 0:23:33One, two, three...

0:23:33 > 0:23:37- And again, fellas. - And again.- One, two, three...

0:23:37 > 0:23:40OK. Come on, Vincent, stay with me.

0:23:40 > 0:23:42OK. This is Father Vincent McConnell, he's 57.

0:23:42 > 0:23:44Stabbed with a kitchen knife.

0:23:44 > 0:23:47Tess, I'd like to nip out. It's, erm, Seonaidh Lucas.

0:23:47 > 0:23:50She...left this photo of her son and I'd like to return it.

0:23:50 > 0:23:52Oh, stick it in the post. We're very busy.

0:23:52 > 0:23:54I just want to check that she's OK.

0:23:54 > 0:23:57Half an hour. Only half an hour.

0:23:57 > 0:23:59Let's give him Salbutamol nebs back-to-back.

0:23:59 > 0:24:01Start the first with five mils of Salbutamol

0:24:01 > 0:24:03and 0.5 of Ipratropium, Tess.

0:24:03 > 0:24:04GCS, Dixie?

0:24:04 > 0:24:09His GCS was 12, his BP's been maintained at 90 systolic,

0:24:09 > 0:24:11his pulse is 84.

0:24:11 > 0:24:15He's lost maybe, em... a litre of blood,

0:24:15 > 0:24:18and he's had two litres of normal saline.

0:24:19 > 0:24:22All right, OK. On three.

0:24:22 > 0:24:24One, two. three!

0:24:24 > 0:24:27- Any idea what triggered the asthma attack?- None at all.

0:24:27 > 0:24:31Possibly stress. I treated him with a Celox strip and an Israeli bandage.

0:24:31 > 0:24:32- Who's she?- The new doctor.

0:24:32 > 0:24:34- I thought she starts tomorrow. - Keen, ain't she?

0:24:34 > 0:24:36She can hear you.

0:24:36 > 0:24:37- TESS:- Are you two OK?

0:24:37 > 0:24:39Yeah, I think so.

0:24:39 > 0:24:40Get yourselves sorted out.

0:24:40 > 0:24:43Vincent, I'm Dr Zoe Hanna. You're in hospital now.

0:24:43 > 0:24:44No! Don't touch that!

0:24:44 > 0:24:46It must be removed in theatre.

0:24:46 > 0:24:50We're just checking the bleed is stable, which it is for now.

0:24:50 > 0:24:53Tess, there's not much going on in there. Can I have a chest x-ray,

0:24:53 > 0:24:56a blood gas and some hydrocortisone?

0:24:56 > 0:24:59Let's prep for intubation, who knows what might happen.

0:24:59 > 0:25:00Thank you.

0:25:08 > 0:25:10- How did we all get out of that alive?- My driving.

0:25:10 > 0:25:11ALL LAUGH

0:25:17 > 0:25:19Oh, how could this happen?!

0:25:19 > 0:25:21Uh, I don't know.

0:25:21 > 0:25:24# Become so tired

0:25:24 > 0:25:27# So much more aware

0:25:27 > 0:25:28# I'm becoming this

0:25:28 > 0:25:31# All I want to do

0:25:31 > 0:25:33# Is be more like me

0:25:33 > 0:25:35# And be less like you

0:25:35 > 0:25:38# Can't you see that you're smothering me?

0:25:38 > 0:25:41# Holding too tightly

0:25:41 > 0:25:42# Afraid to lose control... #

0:25:42 > 0:25:44DOORBELL RINGS

0:25:47 > 0:25:49DOORBELL RINGS

0:25:51 > 0:25:53DOORBELL RINGS

0:25:58 > 0:26:00DOORBELL RINGS

0:26:06 > 0:26:08Seonaidh, sorry, Mrs Lucas.

0:26:10 > 0:26:11You forgot this.

0:26:18 > 0:26:20Thank you.

0:26:22 > 0:26:23Excuse me.

0:26:37 > 0:26:39DOORBELL RINGS

0:26:47 > 0:26:48Sorry, um...

0:26:48 > 0:26:50I was just wondering...

0:26:51 > 0:26:52..are you OK?

0:26:52 > 0:26:53Yes.

0:26:57 > 0:26:59Well, em, since I'm here.

0:27:00 > 0:27:04It'd be great to look at your son's action figure collection.

0:27:05 > 0:27:07It'll only take a second.

0:27:10 > 0:27:11SHE MOUTHS

0:27:30 > 0:27:32Oh, wow!

0:27:33 > 0:27:34- Can I?- Mm.

0:27:39 > 0:27:40The Amazing Falcon!

0:27:43 > 0:27:46I didn't even know it was anything special.

0:27:46 > 0:27:50This guy was selling it at a car boot sale.

0:27:52 > 0:27:54You know, that Christmas...

0:27:55 > 0:27:58..we spent a fortune on a bike and...

0:28:00 > 0:28:01..bought his docking station.

0:28:03 > 0:28:06And I think that cost just under a tenner

0:28:06 > 0:28:08and I'd never seen him so thrilled.

0:28:08 > 0:28:13- No wonder.- I've never understood why.- It's the Millennium edition.

0:28:13 > 0:28:14(Oh!)

0:28:14 > 0:28:15Really hard to get hold of.

0:28:15 > 0:28:18Silver trim on the wings.

0:28:18 > 0:28:21- It only appeared in one edition of the comic.- (Oh!)

0:28:21 > 0:28:25It's really cool that a kid of his age would know that.

0:28:25 > 0:28:26What?

0:28:26 > 0:28:28It is cool!

0:28:28 > 0:28:30No, I...

0:28:30 > 0:28:32That's exactly what he would say.

0:28:32 > 0:28:34(Oh.)

0:28:37 > 0:28:38Are you OK?

0:28:38 > 0:28:40Yeah.

0:28:41 > 0:28:44He always used to take one of these everywhere.

0:28:45 > 0:28:47But not that day.

0:28:49 > 0:28:51I just thought it was him growing up, you know?

0:28:54 > 0:28:56What happened?

0:29:00 > 0:29:01Well...

0:29:02 > 0:29:04..he went boating with his dad...

0:29:07 > 0:29:09..and, er...

0:29:11 > 0:29:12..he was drowning

0:29:12 > 0:29:14when I was with a friend!

0:29:14 > 0:29:15Having a cocktail!

0:29:17 > 0:29:19And planning where to meet them both for dinner.

0:29:19 > 0:29:21Yeah.

0:29:24 > 0:29:264.45 they said he died.

0:29:29 > 0:29:31And I wasn't there.

0:29:35 > 0:29:37I wasn't there!

0:29:39 > 0:29:42Oh, I'm...I'm sorry. Sorry.

0:29:47 > 0:29:49All right.

0:29:49 > 0:29:51You know, a nurse could do this.

0:29:51 > 0:29:54Well, we don't want you using it as an excuse to thrown a sickie

0:29:54 > 0:29:56on your first day, do we?

0:29:56 > 0:29:57OK, ready?

0:29:57 > 0:30:01- You know when I said fearless is good?- Yup.

0:30:01 > 0:30:02Well, alive is better.

0:30:04 > 0:30:06Any word from that postman?

0:30:08 > 0:30:11They're going to amputate.

0:30:11 > 0:30:12Go on, say it.

0:30:12 > 0:30:14Say what?

0:30:14 > 0:30:15"I told you so."

0:30:15 > 0:30:18Just remember, Dr Nicholls,

0:30:18 > 0:30:21you are not always going to be right.

0:30:21 > 0:30:24They keep telling me that.

0:30:26 > 0:30:29So, did they get the guy that did this to you?

0:30:36 > 0:30:38Oh, look, I'm sorry.

0:30:38 > 0:30:40I really shouldn't have, er....

0:30:40 > 0:30:43I think you should be getting back to work now.

0:30:43 > 0:30:45I'll go, em...

0:30:45 > 0:30:47This is a liberty, I know,

0:30:47 > 0:30:48but...

0:30:49 > 0:30:52I brought some telephone numbers for you.

0:30:52 > 0:30:57It's Samaritans, hospital psych department, counsellors.

0:30:58 > 0:31:00You don't look surprised.

0:31:01 > 0:31:04Look, I may well be out of order saying this.

0:31:04 > 0:31:06But I don't think you're coping.

0:31:06 > 0:31:07What happened to Gareth,

0:31:07 > 0:31:11it wasn't your fault

0:31:11 > 0:31:12and you mustn't blame yourself.

0:31:12 > 0:31:15I know it's easier to say that but it is true.

0:31:18 > 0:31:21Don't try and deal with this all by yourself.

0:31:25 > 0:31:28You will call those numbers, won't you?

0:31:29 > 0:31:31You really don't give up, you, do you?

0:31:31 > 0:31:34Nope.

0:31:34 > 0:31:36Well, your bosses are very lucky...

0:31:36 > 0:31:38having you there.

0:31:39 > 0:31:41Cheers for that.

0:31:43 > 0:31:46Well, I really have to crack on so you should go back to work.

0:31:46 > 0:31:48Um, yeah.

0:31:48 > 0:31:50I never knew your son.

0:31:50 > 0:31:53But I'm sure he'd want you to keep going.

0:31:56 > 0:32:00- Are you feeling a bit more comfortable, Vincent?- Ah. Am I...

0:32:03 > 0:32:07..am I...going to...die?

0:32:07 > 0:32:08You're going to be fine.

0:32:08 > 0:32:12Ah...bad...liar.

0:32:12 > 0:32:13Zoe, the wound's oozing a little.

0:32:15 > 0:32:17Wayne, pressure bandage, please.

0:32:37 > 0:32:40DIXIE GASPS

0:32:40 > 0:32:41I thought I told you.

0:32:41 > 0:32:44Yeah, I wouldn't have you any other way, princess.

0:32:44 > 0:32:46- I think we deserve a doughnut, don't you?- Mmm!

0:32:46 > 0:32:47And you!

0:32:50 > 0:32:51Mmmm!

0:32:51 > 0:32:53Right, let's have a brew, eh, Jeff?

0:33:02 > 0:33:04Resps at 30.

0:33:04 > 0:33:05Sats down to 87%.

0:33:05 > 0:33:07I thought his asthma was on the mend?

0:33:07 > 0:33:09Not any more. We must move this up a gear

0:33:09 > 0:33:11before the arterial bleed kicks off again.

0:33:11 > 0:33:15Vincent, we're moving you to theatre where the vascular surgeons...

0:33:15 > 0:33:16You know the risks?

0:33:17 > 0:33:19Yes.

0:33:19 > 0:33:21Well, I'm not convinced he's ready to move yet.

0:33:25 > 0:33:27Don't question my judgment in front of my patient.

0:33:27 > 0:33:32Where's Joe? Not going... anywhere, till I make confession.

0:33:32 > 0:33:37- Right now, your treatment is our biggest priority.- No! No treatment.

0:33:37 > 0:33:41If he makes it upstairs! We must control the bleed down here.

0:33:41 > 0:33:44You understand? If you ask us to stop, you're risking your life?

0:33:44 > 0:33:45Yes, get Joe.

0:33:45 > 0:33:47I'm afraid this is my patient.

0:33:47 > 0:33:49Excuse me. He wants us to stabilise him,

0:33:49 > 0:33:52so that he can get his colleague to hear his final confession.

0:33:52 > 0:33:54What?

0:33:55 > 0:33:58Vincent, any delay could significantly reduce

0:33:58 > 0:34:00your chances of survival.

0:34:00 > 0:34:01Do you understand that?

0:34:01 > 0:34:04Yes! Get Joe!

0:34:04 > 0:34:06Get Joe!

0:34:06 > 0:34:08Oh, get Joe.

0:34:09 > 0:34:10That's him!

0:34:24 > 0:34:27SHE BREATHES DEEPLY

0:34:39 > 0:34:43SHE SOBS

0:35:02 > 0:35:04TOILET FLUSHES

0:35:12 > 0:35:16FATHER VINCENT WHEEZES

0:35:19 > 0:35:22Need...last...rite...

0:35:23 > 0:35:25..make confession.

0:35:27 > 0:35:29I don't know, that...

0:35:30 > 0:35:31..I can do it, Vincent.

0:35:33 > 0:35:35You need someone else.

0:35:37 > 0:35:39No. No-one else!

0:35:39 > 0:35:40You, Joe!

0:35:43 > 0:35:45I die...

0:35:47 > 0:35:48..in sin.

0:36:10 > 0:36:12Er, hello, em...

0:36:15 > 0:36:18SHE SOBS

0:36:23 > 0:36:25I think I need to talk to someone!

0:36:26 > 0:36:28I, er...

0:36:28 > 0:36:30I think I need help.

0:36:34 > 0:36:36SHE EXHALES DEEPLY

0:36:39 > 0:36:40Yeah.

0:36:44 > 0:36:46Excuse me, please.

0:36:46 > 0:36:49Sorry, excuse me. Sorry.

0:36:49 > 0:36:51- I said half an hour.- I know.

0:36:51 > 0:36:54I'm sorry. I'll make up the time!

0:36:54 > 0:36:56I've got good news.

0:36:56 > 0:36:58I discussed it with Mr Jordan,

0:36:58 > 0:37:01and we're recommending that you get your screen.

0:37:03 > 0:37:04What?

0:37:04 > 0:37:08Don't know if I want it any more, Tess.

0:37:08 > 0:37:12- It'll get between us and the public. - What is wrong with you today, Noel?!

0:37:15 > 0:37:17FATHER VINCENT WHEEZES

0:37:17 > 0:37:19The brother!

0:37:19 > 0:37:21The brother!

0:37:21 > 0:37:25This...is about the brother?

0:37:28 > 0:37:30If it's too painful to speak, don't.

0:37:31 > 0:37:33Just nod.

0:37:34 > 0:37:35OK.

0:37:36 > 0:37:41Did you...abuse...the brother?

0:37:41 > 0:37:43FATHER VINCENT WHEEZES

0:37:50 > 0:37:51Vincent?

0:37:51 > 0:37:54This is your last confession,

0:37:54 > 0:37:57your last chance to cleanse your soul of sin.

0:37:57 > 0:37:59Do you understand?

0:38:00 > 0:38:02Good.

0:38:06 > 0:38:09Did you...abuse Paul's brother?

0:38:14 > 0:38:16No! No!

0:38:24 > 0:38:25Stop!

0:38:27 > 0:38:29Just wait, stop!

0:38:32 > 0:38:34Stop!

0:38:34 > 0:38:35Come here!

0:38:44 > 0:38:46I don't want to hurt you!

0:38:46 > 0:38:48No, you only tried to kill me

0:38:48 > 0:38:49and two other paramedics!

0:38:49 > 0:38:51I didn't mean to.

0:38:51 > 0:38:54- That's not what it's about. - Then what is it about?

0:38:54 > 0:38:55Let's hear the excuses.

0:38:55 > 0:38:57Excuses?!

0:38:57 > 0:38:59Is it cos your brother killed himself?

0:39:01 > 0:39:03You think you know everything, don't you?

0:39:03 > 0:39:05You know nothing!

0:39:09 > 0:39:10We were altar boys, Fran and me.

0:39:10 > 0:39:13Fran was younger than me.

0:39:13 > 0:39:15Fran changed once Father Vincent

0:39:15 > 0:39:17had got his hands on him.

0:39:17 > 0:39:20But you don't... you don't know what happened?

0:39:24 > 0:39:25What did you do to that boy?

0:39:25 > 0:39:28HE WHEEZES

0:39:28 > 0:39:30Did you...

0:39:30 > 0:39:32did you abuse him sexually?

0:39:32 > 0:39:33No!

0:39:33 > 0:39:36No, no, not that!

0:39:36 > 0:39:37- Then...- I didn't!

0:39:37 > 0:39:38..what did you do?

0:39:38 > 0:39:41All...his...fault...

0:39:41 > 0:39:45he...drove...me...mad...

0:39:45 > 0:39:47with...no...respect...!

0:39:51 > 0:39:55That's...the way it was...then.

0:39:55 > 0:39:57No.

0:39:57 > 0:39:59This is your confession, Vincent.

0:39:59 > 0:40:03And it is worthless unless you face your sins and repent.

0:40:05 > 0:40:08You abused...that boy.

0:40:08 > 0:40:11Do you accept that?

0:40:11 > 0:40:13Do you repent?

0:40:13 > 0:40:14HE WHEEZES

0:40:14 > 0:40:17Do you ask for God's forgiveness?

0:40:18 > 0:40:20Then you have to be honest.

0:40:23 > 0:40:26How far...did this abuse go?

0:40:30 > 0:40:32We used to muck about on the altar.

0:40:33 > 0:40:35Father Vincent hated it.

0:40:38 > 0:40:40Whenever he caught us, he'd give me a smack.

0:40:42 > 0:40:45He used to say he'd given up on me.

0:40:45 > 0:40:47But not Francis.

0:40:52 > 0:40:54He used to kick me out.

0:40:58 > 0:41:01I left Francis alone with him!

0:41:07 > 0:41:09Francis changed.

0:41:11 > 0:41:13We didn't talk about it at first but...

0:41:15 > 0:41:18It's like he killed something inside of him.

0:41:21 > 0:41:25- I should've protected him.- Hey...

0:41:25 > 0:41:27I should've...

0:41:27 > 0:41:31made him tell me what happened.

0:41:31 > 0:41:34But...I just didn't think that...

0:41:39 > 0:41:42I let Francis down, then.

0:41:42 > 0:41:45I can't let him down now!

0:41:45 > 0:41:48So that's my excuse.

0:41:53 > 0:41:55I can't stand by any more. He's barely breathing.

0:41:55 > 0:41:56One minute.

0:41:56 > 0:41:59- Enough.- No!- Listen! We haven't got time for this.

0:41:59 > 0:42:03He's barely breathing and we need to intubate him.

0:42:03 > 0:42:04Ten more seconds, please?

0:42:04 > 0:42:07Vincent, how far did this abuse go?

0:42:07 > 0:42:09You bullied him?

0:42:09 > 0:42:11You beat him?

0:42:11 > 0:42:12Only Francis.

0:42:12 > 0:42:15He was a child! In your care!

0:42:16 > 0:42:19Weeks? Months?

0:42:20 > 0:42:22Years?

0:42:22 > 0:42:27- Years. - FATHER VINCENT WAILS

0:42:27 > 0:42:29Only you and that boy know what damage you did,

0:42:29 > 0:42:31but do you admit to God that...

0:42:33 > 0:42:36..that you put that boy on a road that led him to kill himself?

0:42:36 > 0:42:39Do you admit these sins to God?

0:42:40 > 0:42:42Absolution.

0:42:42 > 0:42:45Absolu... MACHINE BEEPS

0:42:45 > 0:42:46He's in VF.

0:42:46 > 0:42:49- You're going to have to stand back! - It is not finished!- It is now!

0:42:49 > 0:42:51Gel pads!

0:42:54 > 0:42:56PADS BUZZ

0:42:56 > 0:42:58Charging... Clear!

0:42:58 > 0:42:59Shocking.

0:42:59 > 0:43:02You can't go near him.

0:43:02 > 0:43:03Not like that.

0:43:03 > 0:43:06I've got no choice now. There's no turning back.

0:43:06 > 0:43:09I know they're just going to toss me in jail...

0:43:09 > 0:43:11Give me the screwdriver, I'll get you in.

0:43:11 > 0:43:12You don't believe me.

0:43:12 > 0:43:13(I do. I do.)

0:43:13 > 0:43:15I believe you!

0:43:19 > 0:43:20There are no guarantees,

0:43:20 > 0:43:23but this is your only chance of getting the answers you need.

0:43:42 > 0:43:46PHONES RING

0:44:06 > 0:44:08Just stay close to me and look straight ahead.

0:44:08 > 0:44:09You gave me your word.

0:44:09 > 0:44:13HEART MACHINE BLEEPS

0:44:15 > 0:44:17- No, no, no, no!- Paul!

0:44:20 > 0:44:21Get out!

0:44:21 > 0:44:22Don't get too close.

0:44:22 > 0:44:24What did he do to Francis?

0:44:24 > 0:44:27- You know I can't divulge... - Tell me!

0:44:28 > 0:44:30I used to leave them alone together.

0:44:30 > 0:44:33He did many terrible things to your brother.

0:44:33 > 0:44:35But he did not do that.

0:44:35 > 0:44:36No output.

0:44:36 > 0:44:39He fears for his soul and I believe him.

0:44:39 > 0:44:40Clear!

0:44:40 > 0:44:42He confessed?

0:44:44 > 0:44:45Shocking!

0:44:45 > 0:44:49- He's under control.- I'm arresting you on suspicion of attempted murder.

0:44:49 > 0:44:50Yeah, we've got an output.

0:44:50 > 0:44:52Great, let's go.

0:44:52 > 0:44:55Paul Caffrey, I'm arresting you on suspicion of attempted murder.

0:44:55 > 0:44:57God, the father of mercies...

0:44:58 > 0:45:02..through the death and resurrection of your son,

0:45:02 > 0:45:05has reconciled the world to us.

0:45:05 > 0:45:06Hold the lift!

0:45:06 > 0:45:08For the forgiveness of sins

0:45:08 > 0:45:11and through the ministry of the church,

0:45:11 > 0:45:13may God give you pardon and peace.

0:45:13 > 0:45:15And I absolve you of your sins.

0:45:15 > 0:45:18- Vascular surgery.- Up or down?

0:45:18 > 0:45:22In the name of the Father and of the Son,

0:45:22 > 0:45:25and of the Holy Spirit.

0:45:39 > 0:45:42Ever since I can remember I've gone to church.

0:45:42 > 0:45:44Paul wasn't happy about it, but...

0:45:45 > 0:45:47I took the kids.

0:45:47 > 0:45:48Every Sunday.

0:45:50 > 0:45:52But right now...

0:45:53 > 0:45:55..I feel like God's abandoned me.

0:46:01 > 0:46:04Faith is nothing

0:46:04 > 0:46:06if it's not tested.

0:46:08 > 0:46:12If it's easy, it's worthless.

0:46:17 > 0:46:18Please,

0:46:18 > 0:46:21let me help your family heal.

0:46:33 > 0:46:35Do you think he'll survive?

0:46:35 > 0:46:36Who knows.

0:46:36 > 0:46:39Either way, what we did will be forgotten.

0:46:39 > 0:46:42Moaning about someone else nabbing all the glory?

0:46:42 > 0:46:45Sure you weren't in the army?

0:46:45 > 0:46:49Me?! Camouflage makes my backside look huge!

0:46:51 > 0:46:52Look, um...

0:46:52 > 0:46:54sorry about arguing with you earlier.

0:46:54 > 0:46:58- I was out of order.- I'm meeting Jordan at The Vine for a drink.

0:46:58 > 0:47:00You can buy me one if you like.

0:47:00 > 0:47:01The Vine?

0:47:01 > 0:47:04Yeah, it's a wine bar around the corner from...

0:47:04 > 0:47:08But you're not really a wine bar kind of girl, are you?

0:47:11 > 0:47:14Maybe I'll pop in for one. I'll see you later.

0:47:19 > 0:47:21Oh, I booked you into a B&B.

0:47:21 > 0:47:23- Ah! You're a star.- No problem.

0:47:23 > 0:47:26All part of the service. Em...

0:47:26 > 0:47:29- Here's the address and I've drawn you a map.- Oh, great.

0:47:29 > 0:47:31Thank you.

0:47:31 > 0:47:33How do I get to The Bull And Gate?

0:47:33 > 0:47:36They're letting me buy the paramedics a drink.

0:47:36 > 0:47:37Apparently it's a tradition.

0:47:37 > 0:47:39Yeah.

0:47:39 > 0:47:41How old are you?

0:47:43 > 0:47:46Old enough to take you to the pub if you can wait five minutes?

0:47:46 > 0:47:50- I'd like to drop my bike off first if that's all right.- No problem.

0:47:50 > 0:47:53- The pub's a short stagger from your B&B.- Excellent.

0:48:24 > 0:48:27Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

0:48:27 > 0:48:30E-mail subtitling@bbc.co.uk