6: The Ice Warriors - Cold War

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:00:17. > :00:22.Hello, it's Joel here again in the TARDIS. Welcome to the second night

:00:23. > :00:25.of Doctor Who's Greatest Monsters And Villains Weekend, where we find

:00:26. > :00:30.the greatest Monsters and Villains, as voted for by you. If you missed

:00:31. > :00:33.last night's rundown from ten through to seven, firstly, what

:00:34. > :00:37.could have been more important than this, guys?

:00:38. > :00:43.Other than perhaps the release of Clara's Christmas work-out DVD.

:00:44. > :00:48.So no need to jump in the TARDIS and go back 24 hours to see what you've

:00:49. > :00:53.missed when I can simply show you. In at ten it was those rhino-headed

:00:54. > :01:00.Judoon. At nine, those Homo reptilia the Silurians. Ready to serve at

:01:01. > :01:07.eight, it's the Ood. And being wound up by the Doctor at seven, it is of

:01:08. > :01:11.course the Clockwork Droids. And coming tonight, I'll be taking you

:01:12. > :01:18.from six right through to four. So stay tuned. Next up it's our

:01:19. > :01:27.favourite helmet-headed reptilians from Mars. It is of course the Ice

:01:28. > :01:31.Warriors. It is a native of the planet Mars. We go way back. They

:01:32. > :01:33.first appeared with the second Doctor back in 1967 in The Ice

:01:34. > :01:35.Warriors. Hmmm, catchy.

:01:36. > :01:39.The Ice Warriors have made appearances in a number of stories

:01:40. > :01:45.over the years, first showing up as planet plunderers intent on taking

:01:46. > :01:49.over the Earth. We will be invincible X Mac Then invading to

:01:50. > :01:55.take over the Earth's transmat system. Whatever that is. But

:01:56. > :01:57.suddenly, when they reappear with the third Doctor, they had renounced

:01:58. > :02:07.violence and joined the Galactic Federation before getting a little

:02:08. > :02:10.lairy again. How very convenient! Those Martians haven't changed much

:02:11. > :02:13.over the years, have they? But the one consistent thread throughout is

:02:14. > :02:17.their strict warrior code of honour and conduct. For example, it is a

:02:18. > :02:20.huge dishonour for an Ice Warrior to remove their armour. I live by the

:02:21. > :02:24.same rules, guys. And by "armour" I mean "pants" and by "dishonour" I

:02:25. > :02:27.mean "embarrassment for me and my family at Christmas". In this

:02:28. > :02:30.incarnation, we finally see what the Ice Warriors look like without all

:02:31. > :02:33.their armour and get-up. Like when Heat magazine shows you pap shots of

:02:34. > :02:37.your favourite celebs leaving the gym or that moment in "Snog Marry

:02:38. > :02:47.Avoid?" When they're handed the wet wipes. Definitely snog. But the real

:02:48. > :02:50.reason why the Ice Warriors have made this exclusive list of Doctor

:02:51. > :02:53.Who Monsters and Villains is that they are literally the coolest

:02:54. > :03:06.aliens in the galaxy. Watch and learn.

:03:07. > :03:27.You are our prisoner! My warriors will soon destroy those primitives.

:03:28. > :03:30.Which others shall blink first? Coming up, we have the first

:03:31. > :03:34.appearance of the Ice Warriors in over 39 years. And what a return it

:03:35. > :03:37.is, when the most revered Ice Warrior of all turns up after being

:03:38. > :03:41.frozen for over 5,000 years, only to find himself on a Russian nuclear

:03:42. > :03:44.sub. This of course is the great Ice Warrior Skaldak in Cold War.

:03:45. > :03:54.Five thousand years isn't such a long time,

:03:55. > :04:09.'Signal is genuine. Signal is genuine.

:04:10. > :04:54.We were about to blow up the world, Professor.

:04:55. > :05:03.This is the Captain. Drill abandoned. All hands, stand down.

:05:04. > :05:08.With respect, sir, we must run it again. Tomorrow.

:05:09. > :05:11.Comrade Captain, the NATO exercises...

:05:12. > :05:20.Sir, American aggression gets more intolerable by the day.

:05:21. > :05:29.Did you have your specimen stowed OK?

:05:30. > :05:33.Well, at least we have something to show

:05:34. > :05:37.for our little hunting expedition. What is it? A mammoth?

:05:38. > :06:00.Professor wants you thawed out back in Moscow, but...

:06:01. > :07:15.ALARM BLARING Hold the bridge, port side!

:07:16. > :07:20.Descending to 200 metres. We're under attack!

:07:21. > :07:27.METALLIC CREAKING Bring her up, bring her up!

:07:28. > :07:42.Not Vegas then! No. No, this is much better!

:07:43. > :07:52.410. 420! Turbines still not responding!

:07:53. > :07:57.Ah! Sideways momentum! You've still got sideways momentum!

:07:58. > :08:00.What? Your propellers work independently of the main turbines.

:08:01. > :08:04.You can't stop her going down but you can manoeuvre the sub laterally!

:08:05. > :08:12.Geographical anomaly to starboard - probably an underwater ridge.

:08:13. > :08:18.Look, we have just a chance to stop the descent if we settle on it.

:08:19. > :08:28.Lateral thrust to starboard - all propellers! Sir? Now!

:08:29. > :08:31.You're going to let this madman give the orders? Lateral thrust!

:08:32. > :09:08.It seems we owe you our lives - whoever you are.

:09:09. > :09:12.I'll hold you to that. Might come in handy!

:09:13. > :09:18.Yes, I know, it's a WOMAN. Now search them!

:09:19. > :09:28.East and West standing on the brink of nuclear oblivion.

:09:29. > :09:31.Lots of itchy fingers on the button. Isn't it always like that? Sort of.

:09:32. > :09:34.But there are flash points and this is one - hair, shoulder pads, nukes.

:09:35. > :09:50.Clara! Doctor! Clara! METALLIC THRUMMING

:09:51. > :10:13.Captain, we didn't know the type of your ship out here...

:10:14. > :10:16.Yeah, well, that's till the rescue ship comes. IF it comes!

:10:17. > :10:23.Oh, the sinking is just a coincidence, is it? Who are you?

:10:24. > :10:27.You know what? Just this once, no dissembling, no psychic paper,

:10:28. > :10:28.no pretending to be an Earth Ambassador.

:10:29. > :10:31.Doctor - me and Clara, time travellers. Clara, you OK?

:10:32. > :10:35.We arrived here out of thin air! You saw it happen! I didn't.

:10:36. > :10:37.Your problem, mate, not mine! We were sinking... Yes. What happened?

:10:38. > :10:40.We sank. No, what happened to the TARDIS? Never mind that. Listen...

:10:41. > :10:43.Captain, breath's precious down here. Let's not waste it, eh?

:10:44. > :10:50.What does it matter how we arrived? The important thing is to get...

:10:51. > :11:00.Number one priority, not suffocating!

:11:01. > :11:05.Eh? Ah, oh, thank you! Finally, seeing sense!

:11:06. > :11:08.Now, what sort of state is the sub in? Doctor!

:11:09. > :11:11.What about the radio? Can we send a... DOCTOR! What?!

:11:12. > :11:38.We were drilling for oil in the ice. I thought I'd found a mammoth.

:11:39. > :11:54...WAY back. A Martian? You can't be serious.

:11:55. > :11:58.Doctor! Just keeping it light, Clara, they're scared.

:11:59. > :12:00.They're scared? I'M scared! GUN CLICKING

:12:01. > :12:02.No, no, no, no, no, no! ELECTRONIC WHINING

:12:03. > :12:05.Please, please, Wait! Just...there's no need for this!

:12:06. > :12:09.You're confused, disorientated - of course you are.

:12:10. > :12:12.You've been lying dormant in the ice for, for how long?

:12:13. > :12:20.Can't blame you if you've got out of the wrong side of bed.

:12:21. > :12:24.Please, just, why don't you tell us your name?

:12:25. > :12:26.What're you talking about? It has a name?

:12:27. > :12:29.Of course it has a name - and a rank. This is a soldier.

:12:30. > :13:25.Sovereign of the Tharsisian caste, vanquisher of the Phobos Heresy.

:13:26. > :13:30.The greatest hero the proud Martian race has ever produced.

:13:31. > :14:15.The Ice Warriors have a different creed, Clara. A different code.

:14:16. > :14:19.By his own standards, Skaldak is a hero.

:14:20. > :14:22.It was said his enemies honoured him so much

:14:23. > :14:25.they'd carve his name into their own flesh before they died.

:14:26. > :14:28.Oh, yeah, very nice. He sounds lovely.

:14:29. > :14:30.An Ice Warrior? Explain. There isn't time! Try me.

:14:31. > :14:33.Martian reptile known as the Ice Warrior. When Mars turned cold,

:14:34. > :14:36.they had to adapt. They're bio-mechanoid - cyborgs.

:14:37. > :14:47.Bit of a design flaw, I always wondered why they never sorted it.

:14:48. > :15:06.Find me, my brothers. If you are still out there.

:15:07. > :15:19.Why are we listening to this nonsense, Captain?

:15:20. > :15:23.These people are clearly enemy agents. Eh?

:15:24. > :15:29.Pretty bad spies, mate. I don't even speak Russian!

:15:30. > :15:36.Am I speaking Russian? How come I'm speaking Russian?

:15:37. > :15:42.Are THEY speaking Russian? Seriously? Now?!

:15:43. > :15:48.In my opinion, Comrade Captain, this creature is a Western weapon.

:15:49. > :15:54.A weapon? Survival suit. What is the alternative?

:15:55. > :15:58.Correction. It's a BIG green man from Mars.

:15:59. > :16:01.I do not appreciate your levity, Professor.

:16:02. > :16:05.Why does that not surprise me? Maybe they're telling the truth.

:16:06. > :16:10.Yes. A revolutionary concept, I know.

:16:11. > :16:13.It's essential that we inform Moscow of what we have found!

:16:14. > :16:16.The radio's out of action, in case you hadn't noticed, Stepashin.

:16:17. > :16:19.They have our last position. They will find us.

:16:20. > :16:23.Well, the Cold War won't stay cold for ever, Captain.

:16:24. > :16:27.For God's sake, Stepashin, you're like a stuck record!

:16:28. > :16:32.I want you back on repairs immediately,

:16:33. > :16:35.we need to keep this ship alive. Dismissed.

:16:36. > :16:59.All we needed to do was let Skaldak go and he'd have forgotten us...

:17:00. > :17:04.but you've attacked him. You declared war.

:17:05. > :17:07."Harm one of us and you harm us all."

:17:08. > :17:09.That's the ancient Martian code. BEEPING

:17:10. > :17:14.You hear that? Skaldak's sent out a distress call.

:17:15. > :17:17.He'll bring down the fires of hell just for laying a glove on him!

:17:18. > :17:20.Unless you talk to it? I'm the only one who can.

:17:21. > :17:22.No. Out of the question. We're not losing you.

:17:23. > :17:27.I'll do it. What? You can talk to it through me.

:17:28. > :17:30.Skaldak won't talk to you! You're an enemy soldier!

:17:31. > :17:33.How would he know that? A soldier knows another soldier.

:17:34. > :17:35.He'll smell it on you! Smell it on you a mile off.

:17:36. > :17:39.And he wouldn't smell it on you, Doctor?

:17:40. > :17:41.Just let me in there before it's too late.

:17:42. > :17:57.Well, there really is only one choice, isn't there?

:17:58. > :18:04.No! No way. You're not going in there alone, Clara.

:18:05. > :19:09."Sovereign of the Tharsisian caste..."

:19:10. > :19:13."Sovereign of the Tharsisian caste. By the moons, I honour thee."

:19:14. > :19:53.Please, let us help you. You're not our enemy.

:19:54. > :20:09.I think he wants to speak to the organ-grinder, not to the monkey.

:20:10. > :20:14.You're restrained until we can trust each other, Skaldak.

:20:15. > :20:19.and don't even think about using that sonic weapon.

:20:20. > :20:25.I was Fleet Commander of the Nix Tharsis.

:20:26. > :20:51.5,000 years, now my daughter will be...dust!

:20:52. > :20:55.'No, no, no, listen. Your people live on, Skaldak!'

:20:56. > :21:02.And Mars will rise again, I promise you. Just, let me help you.

:21:03. > :21:18.No listen, Clara, don't get too close.

:21:19. > :21:41.Gone, what do you mean, gone?! It's got out!

:21:42. > :21:45.It is time I learned the measure of my enemies.

:21:46. > :21:48.'And what this vessel is capable of.'

:21:49. > :21:53.Harm one of us and you harm us all!

:21:54. > :22:04.HISSING Clara! Get out of there! GET OUT!

:22:05. > :22:12.Actually, I've never seen one out of its armour before.

:22:13. > :22:14.Won't it be more vulnerable out of its shell?

:22:15. > :23:00.How did I do? Was I OK? This wasn't a test, Clara.

:23:01. > :23:21.Skaldak got no answer from his Martian brothers.

:23:22. > :23:46.But what can he do stuck down here like the rest of us?

:23:47. > :23:51.This sub's stuffed with nuclear missiles, Zhukov.

:23:52. > :23:55.What do you think Skaldak's going to do when he finds that out?

:23:56. > :24:00."How BAD can it be? How bad can it be?"

:24:01. > :25:40...the reactor is drowned, we are totally reliant on battery power

:25:41. > :25:47.Rescue is unlikely but we still have a mission to fulfil.

:25:48. > :25:51.then we are all that stands between this creature

:25:52. > :25:56.Control of one missile is all he needs.

:25:57. > :26:05.I know I can rely on every one of you to do his duty without fail.

:26:06. > :26:20.this mewling time of peace, it doesn't suit us.

:26:21. > :26:29...and...together...we can form an alliance.

:26:30. > :26:45.Both sides are capable of completely obliterating the other.

:26:46. > :26:49.It's a state we call mutually assured destruction.

:26:50. > :27:08.Even if a missile did get launched, that wouldn't be...it, would it?

:27:09. > :27:13.I mean, what if they fired one by accident, what would happen then?

:27:14. > :27:16.I told you, Clara. Earth is like a storm waiting to break, right now.

:27:17. > :27:18.Both sides baring their teeth, talking up war.

:27:19. > :27:23.But the world didn't end in 1983, did it? Or I wouldn't be here.

:27:24. > :27:26.New. History's in flux. It can be changed.

:27:27. > :27:41.One team stays here to guard the bridge.

:27:42. > :27:47.Well, it's either that or we stay here and wait for him to kill us.

:27:48. > :27:53.Is it true you've never seen one outside of its shell suit?

:27:54. > :27:59.For an Ice Warrior to leave its armour is the gravest dishonour.

:28:00. > :28:03.Skaldak is desperate, he is deadly and we have got to find him.

:28:04. > :28:09.No, no, it was on the floor with this. Ah!

:28:10. > :28:46.So, why have you got a cattle prod on a submarine?

:28:47. > :28:51.We run across them when we're drilling.

:28:52. > :28:58.I'd swap one for an Ice Warrior any day. Cuddlier!

:28:59. > :29:17.What? Duran Duran - one of my favourites.

:29:18. > :29:42.Don't worry about it. Think of something else.

:29:43. > :29:54.Course I know it. We do it at karaoke.

:29:55. > :30:02.You speak excellent Russian, my dear,

:30:03. > :30:09.but sometimes I don't understand a word you're talking about.

:30:10. > :30:13.If we get out of here, we'll be bloody heroes!

:30:14. > :30:18.The first people in the world to discover a genuine, living...

:30:19. > :30:25.I don't know. You hear stories, don't you?

:30:26. > :30:35.Stories about the things the Kremlin don't want us to...

:30:36. > :31:15.No, Professor. Not savage, forensic. Well, he's...dismantled them.

:31:16. > :31:18.Skaldak's learning. Learning all about you.

:31:19. > :32:01.It's a young man's game, all this dashing about!

:32:02. > :32:10.I mean, I went in there and did the scary stuff, didn't I?

:32:11. > :32:14.I went in there with the Ice Warrior and it went OK.

:32:15. > :33:47.The Doctor told you, it's just the boat settling.

:33:48. > :34:06.And the Doctor, what he said, is it true?

:34:07. > :34:55.Martian Law decrees that the people of this planet are forfeit.

:34:56. > :34:58.I now have all the information I require.

:34:59. > :35:02.It will take only one missile to begin the process.

:35:03. > :35:08.Grand Marshal, there is no need for this. Listen to me...

:35:09. > :35:12.My distress call has not been answered. It will never be answered.

:35:13. > :35:19.There is nothing left for me except my revenge.

:35:20. > :35:33.There is something left for you, Skaldak. Mercy.

:35:34. > :35:36.Mercy? You must wear that armour for a reason, my friend.

:35:37. > :35:38.Let's see, shall we? No, Captain, wait!

:35:39. > :35:40.I will do whatever it takes to defend my world, Doctor.

:35:41. > :35:43.Yes, great, fine, good, but we're getting somewhere here.

:35:44. > :35:46.We're negotiating, "jaw-jaw not war-war".

:35:47. > :35:51.Very well, we'll negotiate but from a position of strength.

:35:52. > :35:55.Excellent tactical thinking, my congratulations, Captain.

:35:56. > :35:59.Unfortunately, your position is not, perhaps,

:36:00. > :36:26.How did it do that? Sonic tech, Clara.

:36:27. > :36:36.My world is dead but now there will be a second red planet!

:36:37. > :37:22.Where is the honour in condemning billions of innocents to death?

:37:23. > :37:24.5,000 years ago Mars was the centre of a vast empire.

:37:25. > :37:29.The people of Earth had only just begun to leave their caves.

:37:30. > :37:31.Five thousand years isn't such a long time,

:37:32. > :37:34.they're still just frightened children. Still primitive.

:37:35. > :37:42.I am Skaldak! This planet is forfeit under Martian Law.

:37:43. > :37:45.Then teach them! Teach them, Grand Marshal!

:37:46. > :37:52.Is this how you want history to remember you?

:37:53. > :37:56.Grand Marshal Skaldak - Destroyer of Earth?

:37:57. > :37:58.Because that's what you'll be if you send those missiles.

:37:59. > :38:04.Five billion lives extinguished. No chance for goodbyes.

:38:05. > :38:06.A world snuffed out like a candle flame!

:38:07. > :38:11.you leave me no choice. I'm a Time Lord, Skaldak.

:38:12. > :38:15.I know a bit about sonic technology myself.

:38:16. > :38:29.before you can even reach that button, Grand Marshal.

:38:30. > :38:49.Look in to my eyes and tell me you're capable of doing this.

:38:50. > :39:02.Look into my eyes, Skaldak, come on! Face-to-face.

:39:03. > :39:23.Why did you hesitate? Back there, in the dark.

:39:24. > :39:25.You were going to kill this man, remember?

:39:26. > :39:32.Why show compassion then, Skaldak, and not now?

:39:33. > :39:36.The Doctor's right...billions will die...

:39:37. > :39:40...mothers, sons, fathers...daughters.

:39:41. > :40:23.My people live, they have come for me!

:40:24. > :40:54.We're surfaced, your people have saved us.

:40:55. > :41:14.ALARM BEEPING We did it! We did it!

:41:15. > :41:18.No. No, no, no, no, no! It's still armed.

:41:19. > :41:53.# I'm lost and I'm found and I'm hungry like the wolf. #

:41:54. > :42:47.The TARDIS! Where's the TARDIS? You never explained.

:42:48. > :42:50.Oh, well, don't worry about that. Stop saying that! Where is it?

:42:51. > :42:57.I've been tinkering...breaking her in.

:42:58. > :43:07.Huh? I reset (the HADS!) The Hostile Action Displacement System!

:43:08. > :43:11.If the TARDIS comes under attack, gunfire, time-winds, the...sea,

:43:12. > :43:28.Oh! Ha, see, right on cue! Brilliant!

:43:29. > :44:12.I am talking to the spirit that inhabits this house.

:44:13. > :44:16.You didn't come here for the ghost, did you?

:44:17. > :44:23.(Do you feel like you are being watched?)

:44:24. > :44:27.(Are you coming? Where? To find the ghost?)

:44:28. > :44:34.The Caliburn Ghast, the Maiden in the Dark, the Witch of the Well.

:44:35. > :45:45.Hi, I'm Sam, live with a quick check on the Saturday sport.

:45:46. > :45:50.Disappointment for England: they lost 30-22 to New Zealand in rugby

:45:51. > :45:54.union's autumn internationals. Wales hammered Argentina 40-6. Australia

:45:55. > :45:58.beat Ireland. To rugby league's World Cup: England

:45:59. > :46:00.and France are battling it out in their quarterfinal in Wigan. It's

:46:01. > :46:01.live over on BBC