0:00:06 > 0:00:10No, Amy, it's definitely not the fifth moon of Sinda Callista.
0:00:10 > 0:00:13I think I can see a Ryman's.
0:00:14 > 0:00:16Amy! Amy!
0:00:19 > 0:00:22Argh!
0:00:24 > 0:00:25Doctor!
0:00:25 > 0:00:26It's saying we're on Earth!
0:00:26 > 0:00:29Essex, Colchester.
0:00:36 > 0:00:38Doctor?!
0:00:38 > 0:00:39It's taking off again.
0:00:41 > 0:00:43Doctor, can you hear me?
0:00:43 > 0:00:45Amy!
0:00:47 > 0:00:49Amy...
0:00:59 > 0:01:02- MAN'S VOICE:- 'Hello? Hello, please? Hello?'
0:01:05 > 0:01:08'I need your help. There's been an accident.'
0:01:14 > 0:01:17'Please, help me.'
0:01:17 > 0:01:20BUZZER
0:01:28 > 0:01:30Hello?
0:01:30 > 0:01:32Please, will you help me?
0:01:34 > 0:01:36Help you?
0:01:36 > 0:01:37What's wrong?
0:01:37 > 0:01:39Something terrible's happened.
0:01:39 > 0:01:41Please help me.
0:01:59 > 0:02:01Craig, what's that on the ceiling?
0:02:01 > 0:02:03- What's what on the ceiling?- That!
0:02:03 > 0:02:05It's coming from upstairs.
0:02:05 > 0:02:07Who lives up there again?
0:02:08 > 0:02:10Just some bloke.
0:02:14 > 0:02:16So what's the plan tonight? Pizza, booze, telly?
0:02:16 > 0:02:18Yeah, pizza, booze, telly.
0:02:18 > 0:02:21- THUMPING AND BANGING - What is he doing up there?
0:02:26 > 0:02:29- You put the advert up yet?- Yeah, did it today, paper shop window.
0:02:29 > 0:02:32"One furnished room available immediately, shared kitchen,
0:02:32 > 0:02:38"bathroom, with 27-year-old male, non smoker, £400 pcm - per calendar month - suit young professional."
0:02:38 > 0:02:42Mmm, sounds ideal. That's your mission in life, Craig.
0:02:42 > 0:02:45- Find me a man!- Yeah, otherwise you'll have to settle for me.
0:02:45 > 0:02:47You'll have to settle for me first.
0:02:47 > 0:02:51- PHONE BEEPING - Oh, Melina again. What?
0:02:51 > 0:02:53..Right.
0:02:53 > 0:02:55..Yeah, but I've kind of got plans.
0:02:57 > 0:02:59- ..No, it's nothing important, it's just Craig.- Oh, thanks, Soph(!)
0:02:59 > 0:03:01Sorry, you know what I mean!
0:03:01 > 0:03:03..OK. I'll talk to Craig, OK.
0:03:03 > 0:03:09Now she's having a Dylan crisis on top of the Clare crisis. It could be another all-nighter.
0:03:09 > 0:03:10I'm sorry, but I really should go.
0:03:10 > 0:03:12Do you mind if I go?
0:03:12 > 0:03:15No, not at all. No, honestly, course not, go.
0:03:15 > 0:03:18- Cos I could stay.- No, go on. - I mean, we've got plans.
0:03:18 > 0:03:21Just pizza.
0:03:21 > 0:03:23Yeah, it's just pizza.
0:03:26 > 0:03:28OK! Right, I'm going.
0:03:28 > 0:03:32- All right, then. Well, um, I'll see you soon.- Yeah.
0:03:32 > 0:03:36All right, and give me a call, I hope everything's OK.
0:03:36 > 0:03:37Thanks, sorry.
0:03:41 > 0:03:43THUMPING AND CRASHING
0:04:00 > 0:04:01Just tell her.
0:04:01 > 0:04:03Just tell her. "I love you."
0:04:05 > 0:04:07"I love you." Oh, jus..
0:04:07 > 0:04:09"Hey, I don't know if you knew..."
0:04:09 > 0:04:11Oh!
0:04:12 > 0:04:15DOORBELL RINGS
0:04:15 > 0:04:16Every time!
0:04:18 > 0:04:20I love you. I love you.
0:04:20 > 0:04:22I love you.
0:04:22 > 0:04:23I love you!
0:04:25 > 0:04:28I love you!
0:04:29 > 0:04:32Well, that's good, cos I'm your new lodger. Do you know,
0:04:32 > 0:04:35this is going to be easier than I expected!
0:05:11 > 0:05:14But I only just put the advert up today, I didn't put my address.
0:05:14 > 0:05:18Well, aren't you lucky I came along? More lucky than you know.
0:05:18 > 0:05:23Less of a young professional, more of an ancient amateur,
0:05:23 > 0:05:25but frankly I'm an absolute dream.
0:05:25 > 0:05:29Hang on, mate, I don't know if I want you staying, and give me back those keys, you can't have those!
0:05:29 > 0:05:31Yes, quite right. Have some rent.
0:05:31 > 0:05:34That's probably quite a lot, isn't it? Looks like a lot.
0:05:34 > 0:05:36Is it a lot? I can never tell.
0:05:42 > 0:05:48Don't spend it all on sweets. Unless you like sweets. I like sweets. Ooh.
0:05:49 > 0:05:52That's how we greet each other nowadays, isn't it? I'm the Doctor.
0:05:52 > 0:05:54Well, they call me the Doctor, I don't know why.
0:05:54 > 0:05:58I call me the Doctor too. Still don't know why.
0:05:58 > 0:06:00- Craig Owens. The Doctor?- Yep.
0:06:00 > 0:06:02- Who lives upstairs?- Just some bloke.
0:06:02 > 0:06:03What does he look like?
0:06:03 > 0:06:05Normal. He's very quiet.
0:06:05 > 0:06:07- LOUD BANG - Usually.
0:06:07 > 0:06:09Sorry, who are you again?
0:06:09 > 0:06:11Hello?! Excuse me?
0:06:11 > 0:06:16Ah! I suppose that's...dry rot?
0:06:16 > 0:06:19- Or damp. Or mildew. - Or none of the above.
0:06:19 > 0:06:20- I'll get someone to fix it. - No, I'll fix it.
0:06:20 > 0:06:23I'm good at fixing rot. Call me the Rotmeister.
0:06:23 > 0:06:24No, I'm the Doctor, don't call me the Rotmeister.
0:06:24 > 0:06:30This is the most beautiful parlour I have ever seen, you're obviously a man of impeccable taste.
0:06:30 > 0:06:31I can stay, Craig, can't I? Say I can.
0:06:31 > 0:06:34- You haven't even seen the room. - The room?- Your room.
0:06:34 > 0:06:37My room? Oh, yes, my room, my room.
0:06:37 > 0:06:40Take me to my room!
0:06:41 > 0:06:45Yeah, this is Mark's old room, he owns the place, moved out about a month ago.
0:06:45 > 0:06:48An uncle he'd never even heard of died and left a load of money.
0:06:48 > 0:06:49How very convenient.
0:06:49 > 0:06:52This'll do just right. In fact...
0:06:52 > 0:06:54BANGING AND GLASS BREAKING
0:06:59 > 0:07:02No time to lose. I'll take it.
0:07:02 > 0:07:04Ah...you'll want to see my credentials.
0:07:04 > 0:07:06There... National Insurance number...
0:07:06 > 0:07:08NHS number...
0:07:08 > 0:07:12- References....- Is that a reference from the Archbishop of Canterbury?
0:07:12 > 0:07:14I'm his special favourite.
0:07:15 > 0:07:17Are you hungry? I'm hungry.
0:07:19 > 0:07:20I haven't got anything in.
0:07:20 > 0:07:25You've got everything I need for an omelette fines herbes! Pour deux!
0:07:25 > 0:07:27So who's the girl on the fridge?
0:07:27 > 0:07:29My friend. Sophie.
0:07:29 > 0:07:32- Girlfriend?- A friend who is a girl. There's nothing going on.
0:07:32 > 0:07:34Ah, that's completely normal. Works for me.
0:07:34 > 0:07:37We met at work about a year ago at the call centre.
0:07:37 > 0:07:40Oh, really, a communications exchange? That could be handy.
0:07:40 > 0:07:43Firm's going down though. The bosses are using a totally rubbish business model.
0:07:43 > 0:07:46I know what they should do, I got a plan all worked out,
0:07:46 > 0:07:49but I'm just a phone drone, I can't go running in saying I know best.
0:07:49 > 0:07:52Why am I telling you this? I don't even know you.
0:07:52 > 0:07:57I've got one of those faces. People never stop blurting out their plans while I'm around.
0:07:57 > 0:07:59Right, where's your stuff?
0:07:59 > 0:08:04Don't worry, it'll materialise, if all goes to plan.
0:08:09 > 0:08:12Oh, which one, which one?! No!
0:08:12 > 0:08:14Why won't you land?!
0:08:19 > 0:08:21Oh, that was incredible!
0:08:21 > 0:08:23That was absolutely brilliant.
0:08:23 > 0:08:25Where did you learn to cook?
0:08:25 > 0:08:28Paris, in the 18th century. No, hang on,
0:08:28 > 0:08:30that's not recent, is it? 17th?
0:08:30 > 0:08:33No, no, no, 20th. Sorry, I'm not used to doing them in the right order.
0:08:33 > 0:08:37Has anyone ever told you that you're a bit weird?
0:08:37 > 0:08:41They never really stop. Ever been to Paris, Craig?
0:08:41 > 0:08:43Nah, I can't see the point of Paris.
0:08:43 > 0:08:46- I'm not much of a traveller. - I can tell from your sofa.
0:08:46 > 0:08:48- My sofa?- You're starting to look like it.
0:08:50 > 0:08:53Thanks, mate, that's lovely!
0:08:53 > 0:08:55No, I like it here.
0:08:55 > 0:08:57I'd miss it, I'd miss...
0:08:57 > 0:09:00- Those keys?- What?
0:09:00 > 0:09:02You're sort of...
0:09:04 > 0:09:05..fondling them.
0:09:05 > 0:09:07- I'm holding them.- Right.
0:09:07 > 0:09:09Anyway...
0:09:09 > 0:09:11these...
0:09:11 > 0:09:13these are your keys.
0:09:13 > 0:09:18- I can stay? - Yeah, you're weird and you can cook, it's good enough for me.
0:09:18 > 0:09:20Right, outdoor, front door,
0:09:20 > 0:09:25- your door.- My door. My place. My gaff. Ha-ha! Yes!
0:09:25 > 0:09:26Me with a key.
0:09:26 > 0:09:30And listen, Mark and I, we had an arrangement where
0:09:30 > 0:09:34if you ever need me out of your hair, just give me a shout, OK?
0:09:36 > 0:09:38Why would I want that?
0:09:38 > 0:09:41In case you want to bring someone round. A girlfriend or...
0:09:41 > 0:09:43a boyfriend?
0:09:43 > 0:09:46Oh, I will. I'll shout if that happens.
0:09:46 > 0:09:49Yes. Something like...
0:09:49 > 0:09:51I WAS NOT EXPECTING THIS!
0:09:51 > 0:09:55By the way, that...
0:09:55 > 0:09:56the rot.
0:09:56 > 0:10:00I've got the strangest feeling we shouldn't touch it.
0:10:08 > 0:10:10Earth to Pond, Earth to Pond.
0:10:10 > 0:10:12Come in, Pond.
0:10:12 > 0:10:14Doctor!
0:10:14 > 0:10:18- Oooh. Sorry!- Could you not wreck my new earpiece, Pond?
0:10:18 > 0:10:21No, I mean, he seems a laugh.
0:10:21 > 0:10:24He's a bit weird, good weird, you know?
0:10:24 > 0:10:28- 'And he just happens to have three grand on him in a paper bag?'- Yeah.
0:10:28 > 0:10:32Wait, wait. "The Doctor"?!
0:10:32 > 0:10:34'Craig, what if he's a dealer?!'
0:10:41 > 0:10:44'Hello. Stop, please.'
0:10:44 > 0:10:47'Can you hear me? I need your help.'
0:10:47 > 0:10:48How's the TARDIS coping?
0:10:48 > 0:10:50See for yourself.
0:10:55 > 0:11:00Ooh, nasty. She's locked in a materialisation loop, trying to land again but she can't.
0:11:00 > 0:11:03And whatever's stopping her is upstairs in that flat.
0:11:03 > 0:11:05So go upstairs and sort it!
0:11:05 > 0:11:08'Please. My little girl's hurt.'
0:11:16 > 0:11:18I don't know what it is yet!
0:11:18 > 0:11:23Anything that can stop the TARDIS from landing is big, scary big!
0:11:23 > 0:11:27Wait...aren't you scared?
0:11:27 > 0:11:31I'm so sorry, but will you help me? Please.
0:11:31 > 0:11:33Help you?
0:11:34 > 0:11:37'A bow tie, are you serious?!'
0:11:37 > 0:11:38Hang on a sec.
0:11:38 > 0:11:40What? Craig, Craig?
0:11:40 > 0:11:45- THE DOCTOR: - ..Orange juice, eocenes Arbuckle, rare tarantula on the table, ooh! >
0:11:45 > 0:11:48I can't go up there until I know what it is and how to deal with it!
0:11:48 > 0:11:53It is vital that this "man" upstairs doesn't realise who and what I am.
0:11:53 > 0:11:54So no sonicking.
0:11:54 > 0:11:59No advanced technology. I can only use this cos we're on scramble.
0:11:59 > 0:12:02To anyone else hearing this conversation, we're talking absolute gibberish.
0:12:02 > 0:12:04Practical eruption in chicken. >
0:12:04 > 0:12:07Descartes Lombardy spiral. >
0:12:07 > 0:12:10All I've got to do is pass as an ordinary human being.
0:12:10 > 0:12:12Simple. What could possibly go wrong?
0:12:12 > 0:12:16- 'Have you seen you?'- So you're just going to be snide? No helpful hints?
0:12:16 > 0:12:20Hmm, well, here's one... bow tie, get rid!
0:12:20 > 0:12:21Bow ties are cool.
0:12:21 > 0:12:26Come on, Amy, I'm a normal bloke, tell me what normal blokes do.
0:12:26 > 0:12:29They watch telly, they play football, they go down the pub.
0:12:29 > 0:12:31I could do those things! I don't, but I could!
0:12:31 > 0:12:34- CRASHING - Hang on. Wait, wait, wait! Amy?!
0:12:34 > 0:12:36SHE SCREAMS
0:12:40 > 0:12:42Interesting.
0:12:43 > 0:12:45Localised time loop.
0:12:45 > 0:12:49- Ow! What's all that?- Time distortion.
0:12:49 > 0:12:53Whatever's happening upstairs, is still affecting you.
0:12:53 > 0:12:54AMY SCREAMS
0:12:54 > 0:12:58MORE SCREAMING
0:13:04 > 0:13:07It's stopped...ish!
0:13:07 > 0:13:10- 'How about your end?' - My end's good.
0:13:10 > 0:13:16'So, doesn't sound great, but nothing to worry about?'
0:13:16 > 0:13:20No, no, no, not really! Just keep the zigzag plotter on full, that'll protect you.
0:13:22 > 0:13:24Ah!
0:13:24 > 0:13:27- Amy, I said the zigzag plotter! - I pulled the zigzag plotter!
0:13:27 > 0:13:30- What, you're standing with the door behind you?- Yes!
0:13:30 > 0:13:33OK, take two steps to your right and pull it again!
0:13:41 > 0:13:45- Oh.- Now, I must not use the sonic.
0:13:45 > 0:13:48- I've got work to do, need to pick up a few items.- Hey!
0:13:50 > 0:13:54- CAT MIAOWING - Ssh!
0:13:57 > 0:13:59Don't get comfortable!
0:14:05 > 0:14:08THE DOCTOR SINGING
0:14:10 > 0:14:12- Doctor!- Hello?!
0:14:12 > 0:14:15How long are you going to be in there?
0:14:15 > 0:14:17Oh, sorry, I like a good soak!
0:14:18 > 0:14:21LOUD THUMPING
0:14:21 > 0:14:23- What the hell was that? - What did you say?
0:14:25 > 0:14:28I'm just going to go upstairs, see if he's OK.
0:14:28 > 0:14:30Sorry?
0:14:42 > 0:14:44What did you say?
0:14:50 > 0:14:51Yes? Hello?
0:14:51 > 0:14:53Craig?
0:14:54 > 0:14:55Ow!
0:14:55 > 0:14:59It's me from downstairs. I heard a big bang.
0:15:01 > 0:15:03No choice...it's sonicking time.
0:15:03 > 0:15:07Thank you, Craig, but I don't need your help.
0:15:09 > 0:15:11Oops!
0:15:12 > 0:15:15- What happened, what's going on? - Is that my toothbrush?
0:15:15 > 0:15:17- Correct. You spoke to the man upstairs?- Yeah.
0:15:17 > 0:15:20- What did he look like?- More normal than you do at the moment.
0:15:20 > 0:15:23- What are you doing?- I thought you might be in trouble.
0:15:23 > 0:15:30Thanks(!) Well if I ever am, you can come and save me with my toothbrush.
0:15:30 > 0:15:34PHONE RINGS
0:15:38 > 0:15:40- Ooh! Hello?- Ah!
0:15:40 > 0:15:43Hello! The Doctor.
0:15:43 > 0:15:46- Right.- You must be Sophie.
0:15:46 > 0:15:48Mm-hm.
0:15:48 > 0:15:49Oh...oh!
0:15:51 > 0:15:54No, Dom's in Malta, there's nobody around. Hang on a sec.
0:15:54 > 0:15:59We've got a match today, pub league, we're one down if you fancy it?
0:15:59 > 0:16:00Pub league? A drinking competition?
0:16:02 > 0:16:05- No...football...play football? - Football. Football!
0:16:05 > 0:16:08Yes, blokes play football! I'm good at football, I think.
0:16:08 > 0:16:10You've saved my life! I've got somebody.
0:16:10 > 0:16:12All right, see you down there.
0:16:12 > 0:16:15- Hey, Soph.- Hey, I thought I'd come early and meet your new flatmate.
0:16:15 > 0:16:18Do you play, Sophie?
0:16:18 > 0:16:21No, Soph just stands on the sidelines, she's my mascot.
0:16:21 > 0:16:24I'm your mascot? Mascot?!
0:16:24 > 0:16:27Well, not my mascot, it's a football match, I can't take a date.
0:16:27 > 0:16:30- I didn't say I was your date. - Neither did I.
0:16:34 > 0:16:36Better get dressed.
0:16:40 > 0:16:44- Oh, the spare kit's just in the bottom drawer.- Bit of a mess.
0:16:46 > 0:16:49- What d'you think? - You didn't say he was gorgeous!
0:16:49 > 0:16:52You unlocked the door. How did you do that? Those are your keys,
0:16:52 > 0:16:54you must have left them last time you came here.
0:16:54 > 0:16:57Yeah, but I... How do you know these are my keys?
0:16:57 > 0:17:00- I've been holding them! - I have got another set.
0:17:00 > 0:17:03- You've got two sets of keys to someone else's house?- Yeah.
0:17:03 > 0:17:04I see!
0:17:04 > 0:17:07You must like it here too.
0:17:19 > 0:17:25So I'm going out, if I hang about the house all the time, him upstairs might get suspicious, notice me.
0:17:25 > 0:17:28Football, OK, well done, that is normal.
0:17:28 > 0:17:30'Yeah, football, all outdoorsy.'
0:17:30 > 0:17:34Now, football's the one with the sticks, isn't it?
0:17:34 > 0:17:39- What are you actually called, what's your proper name? - Just call me the Doctor.- Yeah.
0:17:39 > 0:17:42I can't say to these guys, "Hey, this is my new flatmate, he's called the Doctor."
0:17:42 > 0:17:44- Why not?- Cos it's weird.
0:17:44 > 0:17:47All right, Craig. Soph. All right, mate.
0:17:49 > 0:17:51Hello, I'm Craig's new flatmate.
0:17:51 > 0:17:53- I'm called the Doctor. - All right, Doctor. I'm Sean.
0:17:53 > 0:17:56- Where are you strongest?- Arms.
0:17:57 > 0:18:00No, he means, what position? On the field?
0:18:00 > 0:18:03Not sure. The front? The side?
0:18:03 > 0:18:07- Below?- Are you any good though?
0:18:08 > 0:18:10Let's find out!
0:18:19 > 0:18:21That's not bad.
0:18:23 > 0:18:24Yes. Go!
0:18:26 > 0:18:27One two, one two!
0:18:29 > 0:18:31Go on, Doctor, go on, Doctor!
0:18:34 > 0:18:37CHEERING
0:18:39 > 0:18:41You're brilliant, you're amazing!
0:18:47 > 0:18:50Come on, Craig, show them what you've got!
0:19:04 > 0:19:06I love this game!
0:19:24 > 0:19:27CHANTING: Doctor, Doctor, Doctor, Doctor!
0:19:38 > 0:19:41- CHILD'S VOICE: - 'Please can you help me?
0:19:43 > 0:19:45'Can you help me, please?'
0:19:47 > 0:19:49'Can you help me?'
0:19:51 > 0:19:53Hello?
0:19:59 > 0:20:03I've lost my mum, I don't know where she is. Please can you help me?
0:20:03 > 0:20:05Help you?
0:20:07 > 0:20:10You poor thing, what's happened?
0:20:10 > 0:20:13Can you help me find her?
0:20:13 > 0:20:18You are so on the team! Next week we've got the Crown and Anchor, we'll annihilate them!
0:20:18 > 0:20:21No violence, not while I'm around,
0:20:21 > 0:20:23not today, not ever. I'm the Doctor, the oncoming storm...
0:20:23 > 0:20:26and you meant beat them in a football match, didn't you?
0:20:26 > 0:20:29- Yeah.- Lovely, what sort of time?
0:20:30 > 0:20:32THEY LAUGH
0:20:47 > 0:20:48SHE SCREAMS
0:20:48 > 0:20:50Amy? Amy?
0:20:52 > 0:20:55- It's happening again! Worse! - What does the scanner say?
0:20:56 > 0:21:01A lot of nines. Is it good that they're nines? Tell me it's good that they're all nines!
0:21:01 > 0:21:06Yes, yes, it's...it's good! Zigzag plotter, zigzag plotter, Amy.
0:21:13 > 0:21:14Argh!
0:21:16 > 0:21:19Amy? Are you there?
0:21:22 > 0:21:25- 'Amy?'- Yes, hello.
0:21:25 > 0:21:29Ah, thank heavens. I thought the TARDIS had been flung off
0:21:29 > 0:21:32into the vortex with you inside it, lost forever.
0:21:32 > 0:21:36- You mean that could actually happen!? You have got to get me out of here. - How are the numbers?
0:21:37 > 0:21:40All fives.
0:21:40 > 0:21:41Fives?
0:21:43 > 0:21:45Even better.
0:21:45 > 0:21:49'Still, it means the effect's almost unbelievably powerful and dangerous, but don't worry.'
0:21:49 > 0:21:51Hang on, OK?
0:21:51 > 0:21:56- 'I've got some rewiring to do.' - Hey! You..."hang on"!
0:22:03 > 0:22:05Hello, flatmate.
0:22:05 > 0:22:07Hey, man.
0:22:07 > 0:22:14Listen, Sophie's coming round tonight and I was wondering if you could give us some space?
0:22:14 > 0:22:17Oh, don't mind me. You won't even know I'm here.
0:22:17 > 0:22:19DISTANT EXPLOSION
0:22:19 > 0:22:20That's the idea.
0:22:22 > 0:22:26< Yes, perfect! What a beauty!
0:22:32 > 0:22:34- That's got bigger.- Oh, yeah.
0:22:34 > 0:22:36Are we going out?
0:22:36 > 0:22:40I've had a bit of a weird day, can we do pizza-booze-telly?
0:22:40 > 0:22:41Great, love it! Wait.
0:22:41 > 0:22:45No Melina, no crises, no interruptions.
0:22:45 > 0:22:48Great. Excellent.
0:22:49 > 0:22:51Um, Soph...
0:22:52 > 0:22:54I've...
0:22:58 > 0:23:00I think...
0:23:01 > 0:23:04Where's this going?
0:23:05 > 0:23:07I think that we...
0:23:10 > 0:23:11..should...
0:23:13 > 0:23:15Mm?
0:23:15 > 0:23:16- Hello.- What?
0:23:16 > 0:23:22- Whoops, sorry, don't worry, I wasn't listening, in a world of my own down there.- I thought you were going out?
0:23:22 > 0:23:27Just re-connecting all the electrics, it's a real mess. Where's the on-switch for this?
0:23:27 > 0:23:31- He really is on his way out.- No, I don't mind, if you don't mind.
0:23:31 > 0:23:35- I don't mind, why would I mind? - Then stay, have a drink with us.
0:23:35 > 0:23:40- What, do I have to stay now? - Do you want to stay?- I don't mind.
0:23:40 > 0:23:42- OK!- Great!
0:23:42 > 0:23:44Cos life can seem pointless, Doctor.
0:23:44 > 0:23:50Work, weekend, work, weekend. And there's six billion people on the planet doing pretty much the same.
0:23:50 > 0:23:53Six billion people? Watching you two at work, I'm starting to wonder where they all come from.
0:23:53 > 0:23:57- What? What do you mean by that?- So, the call centre. That's no good?
0:23:57 > 0:23:59What do you really want to do?
0:23:59 > 0:24:02Don't laugh. I only ever told Craig about it.
0:24:02 > 0:24:05I want to work looking after animals.
0:24:05 > 0:24:10Maybe abroad? I saw this orang-utan sanctuary on telly.
0:24:10 > 0:24:14- What's stopping you?- She can't, you need loads of qualifications.
0:24:14 > 0:24:18Yeah, true. Plus it's scary, everyone I know lives round here.
0:24:18 > 0:24:22Craig got offered a job in London, better money, didn't take it.
0:24:22 > 0:24:25What's wrong with staying here? I can't see the point of London.
0:24:25 > 0:24:28Perhaps you'll just have to stay here,
0:24:28 > 0:24:31secure and a little bit miserable until the day you drop.
0:24:31 > 0:24:33Better than trying and failing, eh?
0:24:33 > 0:24:35- You think I'd fail? - Everybody's got dreams, Sophie,
0:24:35 > 0:24:39very few are going to achieve them, so why pretend?
0:24:40 > 0:24:44Perhaps, in the whole universe, a call centre is where you should be?
0:24:44 > 0:24:47- Why are you saying that? That's horrible.- Is it true?
0:24:47 > 0:24:53Of course it's not true. I'm not staying in a call centre all my life, I can do anything I want!
0:24:53 > 0:24:56Oh! Yeah! Right!
0:24:56 > 0:24:59Oh, my God! Did you see what he just did?
0:24:59 > 0:25:02No, what's happening? Are you going to live with monkeys now?
0:25:02 > 0:25:04It's a big old world, Sophie.
0:25:04 > 0:25:07Work out what's really keeping you here, eh?
0:25:07 > 0:25:09I don't know.
0:25:09 > 0:25:11Dunno.
0:25:18 > 0:25:21So, are you going to be taking off then, seeing the world?
0:25:21 > 0:25:23What? Do you think I should?
0:25:23 > 0:25:26Yeah...
0:25:26 > 0:25:29Like the Doctor says, what's keeping you here?
0:25:29 > 0:25:31Yeah, exactly! What?
0:25:33 > 0:25:36- Bye.- See you.
0:25:41 > 0:25:43- See you in a bit.- Yeah.
0:25:52 > 0:25:54Right. Shield's up.
0:25:54 > 0:25:55Let's scan!
0:25:57 > 0:25:59'What are you getting?'
0:25:59 > 0:26:02Upstairs. No traces of high technology.
0:26:02 > 0:26:04Totally normal.
0:26:04 > 0:26:06No no, no, no, it can't be!
0:26:06 > 0:26:07It's too normal.
0:26:07 > 0:26:10Only for you could too normal be a problem.
0:26:10 > 0:26:12You said I could be lost forever. Just go upstairs.
0:26:12 > 0:26:16Without knowing, get myself killed, then you really are lost.
0:26:16 > 0:26:19If I could just get a look in there...
0:26:19 > 0:26:20Hold on.
0:26:20 > 0:26:25Use the data bank, get me the plans of this building - its history, the layout, everything.
0:26:25 > 0:26:28Meanwhile, I shall recruit a spy.
0:26:51 > 0:26:53The Rotmeister...
0:26:54 > 0:26:55Ahh!
0:26:55 > 0:26:57Ow!
0:27:02 > 0:27:04Craig!
0:27:05 > 0:27:09Craig? Breakfast, it's normal.
0:27:09 > 0:27:10Craig?
0:27:13 > 0:27:14Craig!
0:27:16 > 0:27:19Craig, I told you not to touch it! What's that?
0:27:19 > 0:27:22An unfamiliar and obviously poisonous substance.
0:27:22 > 0:27:25"Oh, I know what would be really clever, I'll stick my hand in it!"
0:27:25 > 0:27:27Come on, Craig, breathe.
0:27:29 > 0:27:32Come on, Craig, breathe! Thems are healthy footballer's lungs!
0:27:33 > 0:27:35Right. Reverse the enzyme decay.
0:27:35 > 0:27:38Excite the tannin molecules.
0:27:49 > 0:27:52- I've got to go to work. - On no account. You need rest.
0:27:52 > 0:27:54One more.
0:28:00 > 0:28:04- It's the planning meeting, it's important.- You're important.
0:28:05 > 0:28:08You're going to be fine, Craig.
0:28:23 > 0:28:25What!
0:28:25 > 0:28:28No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!
0:28:41 > 0:28:42Oh, afternoon.
0:28:42 > 0:28:46I'm so sorry, Michael, I don't know what happened, I've got no excuse.
0:28:46 > 0:28:49I think that's not what my screen is telling me, Mr Lang.
0:28:49 > 0:28:52What's he doing here? What are you doing here?
0:28:52 > 0:28:56If that's your attitude, Mr Lang, please take your custom elsewhere.
0:28:56 > 0:28:59No, no, no, that's one of my best clients!
0:28:59 > 0:29:02Craig, how are you feeling? Had some time to kill, I was curious, never worked in an office.
0:29:02 > 0:29:05- Never worked in anywhere. - You're insane!
0:29:05 > 0:29:07Leave off the Doctor, I love the Doctor.
0:29:07 > 0:29:09He was brilliant in the planning meeting.
0:29:09 > 0:29:11You went to the planning meeting?
0:29:11 > 0:29:15I was your representative. We don't need Mr Lang any more. Rude Mr Lang.
0:29:15 > 0:29:18- Here you go, and I found some custard creams!- Sophie, my hero.
0:29:18 > 0:29:21Hi. I went on the web, applied for a wildlife charity thing.
0:29:21 > 0:29:24They said I could always start as a volunteer straight away.
0:29:24 > 0:29:27- Should I do it? - Yeah, great, yeah, good, go for it.
0:29:27 > 0:29:29You look awful. About turn! Bed. Now.
0:29:29 > 0:29:31Who next? Oh, yes.
0:29:33 > 0:29:39Hello, Mr Joergensen. Can you hold? I have to eat a biscuit.
0:29:56 > 0:29:58What the hell?
0:30:00 > 0:30:03CAT MIAOWS
0:30:03 > 0:30:05Have you been upstairs?
0:30:05 > 0:30:07Yes?
0:30:07 > 0:30:09THROATY MIAOW
0:30:11 > 0:30:15You can do it. Show me what's up there? What's behind that door? >
0:30:15 > 0:30:18Try to show me. Ohh, that doesn't make sense! >
0:30:18 > 0:30:21Ever see anyone go up there? Lots of people? Good good. >
0:30:21 > 0:30:25What kind of people? People who never come back down. That's very bad.
0:30:30 > 0:30:34- Oh, hello.- I can't take this any more. I want you to go!
0:30:36 > 0:30:39- You can have this back an' all. - What have I done?
0:30:39 > 0:30:42- For a start, talking to a cat. - Lots of people talk to cats.
0:30:42 > 0:30:45Everybody loves you, you're better at football than me, and my job,
0:30:45 > 0:30:50and now Sophie's all "Oh, monkeys, monkeys!" and then...there's that!
0:30:50 > 0:30:55It's art! A statement on modern society, "Ooh, ain't modern society awful?"
0:30:55 > 0:30:59You've been here three days, the three weirdest days of my life.
0:30:59 > 0:31:02- Your days will get a lot weirder if I go!- I can't do this any more!
0:31:02 > 0:31:06I can't leave this place. I'm like you, I can't see the point of anywhere else.
0:31:06 > 0:31:08Madrid, hah, what a dump! I have to stay.
0:31:08 > 0:31:11- No, you don't, you have to leave! - I can't go!- Just get out!
0:31:11 > 0:31:14Right! Only way! I'm going to show you something,
0:31:14 > 0:31:15but ssh, really, ssh!
0:31:15 > 0:31:18Oh, I am going to regret this. OK, right...
0:31:18 > 0:31:21- First, general background! - Yargh!
0:31:24 > 0:31:26Ohhh!
0:31:26 > 0:31:28Ow!
0:31:28 > 0:31:30- You're a...- Yes.
0:31:30 > 0:31:34- From...- Ssh.- You've got a TARDIS! - Yes. Ssh!
0:31:34 > 0:31:35Eleventh!
0:31:35 > 0:31:37Right... OK, specific detail!
0:31:37 > 0:31:39BOTH: Argh!!
0:31:41 > 0:31:43Amy! Amy!
0:31:46 > 0:31:48You saw my ad in the paper shop window.
0:31:48 > 0:31:52Yes, with this right above it. Which is odd, because Amy hasn't written it yet.
0:31:52 > 0:31:54Time travel, it CAN happen.
0:31:54 > 0:32:00That's a scanner! You used non-technological technology of Lammasteen.
0:32:00 > 0:32:02Shut up!
0:32:12 > 0:32:14Please can you help me?
0:32:15 > 0:32:16Hi.
0:32:16 > 0:32:21- Please. Will you help me? - What's the matter, my love?
0:32:21 > 0:32:24Help you?
0:32:28 > 0:32:29Aaargh!
0:32:29 > 0:32:36- I am never, ever doing that ever ever again... Amy!- That's Amy Pond!
0:32:36 > 0:32:40Oh, of course, you can understand us now, hurrah. Got those plans yet?
0:32:43 > 0:32:47- Still searching for them!- I've worked it out with psychic help from a cat.
0:32:47 > 0:32:51- Cat?- Yes, I know he's got a time engine in the flat upstairs.
0:32:51 > 0:32:52He's using innocent people to try and launch it.
0:32:52 > 0:32:57- Whenever he does, they get burnt up, hence the stain...- From the ceiling? - Well done, Craig.
0:32:57 > 0:33:01- And you, Miss Pond, nearly get thrown off into the Vortex.- Lovely!
0:33:01 > 0:33:06- People are dying up there? People are dying. People are dying.- Amy!
0:33:06 > 0:33:08Doctor!
0:33:08 > 0:33:10They're being killed!
0:33:10 > 0:33:12Someone's up there.
0:33:16 > 0:33:18- 'Doctor!'- Hang on!
0:33:20 > 0:33:24Craig, come on... someone's dying up there.
0:33:24 > 0:33:28It's Sophie. It's Sophie that's dying up there, it's Sophie!
0:33:28 > 0:33:30Doctor! Aaaaargh!
0:33:30 > 0:33:32- Where's Sophie!- Wait, wait! Amy?
0:33:32 > 0:33:36- Are you upstairs?- Just going in! - But you can't be upstairs.
0:33:36 > 0:33:38- Of course I can be upstairs! - Come on!
0:33:38 > 0:33:42No! I've got the plans, you cannot be upstairs, it's a one-storey building.
0:33:42 > 0:33:44'There is no upstairs!'
0:33:51 > 0:33:53What?
0:33:53 > 0:33:56- What?- Oh.
0:33:56 > 0:33:58Oh, of course!
0:34:00 > 0:34:03The time engine isn't IN the flat. The time engine IS the flat!
0:34:03 > 0:34:07Someone's attempt to build a TARDIS.
0:34:07 > 0:34:09No, there's always been an upstairs.
0:34:09 > 0:34:11- Has there? Think about it!- Yes.
0:34:11 > 0:34:16- No. I don't...- Perception filter. It's more than a disguise. It tricks your memory.
0:34:16 > 0:34:18- SCREAMING - Sophie!
0:34:18 > 0:34:20Sophie! Oh, my God, Sophie!
0:34:20 > 0:34:25- Craig!- It's controlling her. It's willing her to touch the activator. - It's not going to have her!
0:34:27 > 0:34:28Ah! Deadlock seal!
0:34:28 > 0:34:30You've got to do something!
0:34:32 > 0:34:35What? Why's it let her go?
0:34:41 > 0:34:45- You will help me.- Right! Stop! Crashed ship, let's see. Hello.
0:34:45 > 0:34:47I'm Captain Troy Handsome of International Rescue.
0:34:47 > 0:34:50- Please state the nature of your emergency.- The ship has crashed.
0:34:50 > 0:34:52The crew are dead. A pilot is required.
0:34:52 > 0:34:54You're the emergency crash program.
0:34:54 > 0:34:57A hologram. You've been luring people up here so you can try them out.
0:34:57 > 0:34:59You will help me, you will help me, you will help me.
0:34:59 > 0:35:04- Craig! Where am I?- Hush! Human brains aren't strong enough, they just burn. You're stupid,
0:35:04 > 0:35:06you just keep trying.
0:35:06 > 0:35:0817 people have been tried.
0:35:08 > 0:35:116,000,400,026 remain.
0:35:11 > 0:35:16- Seriously, what is going on? - The top floor of Craig's building is in reality an alien space ship,
0:35:16 > 0:35:19intent on slaughtering the population of this planet. Any questions? No, good.
0:35:19 > 0:35:22- Yes, I have questions.- The correct pilot has now been found.
0:35:22 > 0:35:24Yes, I was worried you'd say that.
0:35:24 > 0:35:26He means you, Doctor, doesn't he?
0:35:26 > 0:35:28The correct pilot has been found.
0:35:28 > 0:35:32The correct pilot has been found The correct pilot has been found.
0:35:32 > 0:35:37- What's happening?- It's pulling me in! I'm the new pilot!- Could you do it?
0:35:37 > 0:35:39Could you fly the ship safely?
0:35:39 > 0:35:41No, I'm way too much for this ship.
0:35:41 > 0:35:45My hand touches that panel, the planet doesn't blow up, the whole solar system does.
0:35:45 > 0:35:47The correct pilot has been found.
0:35:47 > 0:35:50No...worst choice ever, I promise you. Stop this!
0:35:50 > 0:35:52Doctor, it's getting worse.
0:35:52 > 0:35:55It doesn't want everyone. Craig, it didn't want you!
0:35:55 > 0:35:57I spoke to him and he said I couldn't help him!
0:35:57 > 0:36:00It didn't want Sophie before but now it does. What's changed?
0:36:00 > 0:36:03No! I gave her the idea of leaving!
0:36:03 > 0:36:06It's a machine that needs to leave, it wants people who want to escape!
0:36:06 > 0:36:10And you don't want to leave, Craig, you're Mr Sofa Man.
0:36:10 > 0:36:11Doctor!
0:36:11 > 0:36:12Craig, you can shut down the engine.
0:36:12 > 0:36:16Put your hand on the panel and concentrate on why you want to stay!
0:36:16 > 0:36:19- Craig, no!- Will it work? - Yes!- Are you sure?
0:36:19 > 0:36:20- Yes!- Is that a lie?
0:36:20 > 0:36:22Of course it's a lie!
0:36:22 > 0:36:25It's good enough for me. Geronimo!
0:36:28 > 0:36:31- Craig!- Doctor!
0:36:31 > 0:36:34Craig, what's keeping you here? Think about everything
0:36:34 > 0:36:37that makes you want to stay here! Why don't you want to leave?
0:36:37 > 0:36:39Sophie! And I don't want to leave Sophie!
0:36:39 > 0:36:41I can't leave Sophie! I love Sophie!
0:36:44 > 0:36:46I love you, too, Craig, you idiot!
0:36:48 > 0:36:51- Doctor!- Honestly, do you mean that? - Of course I mean it! Do you mean it?
0:36:51 > 0:36:55- I've always meant it. Seriously though, do you mean it?- Yes.
0:36:55 > 0:36:56- Ugh!- What about the monkeys?
0:36:56 > 0:36:59Oh, not now, not again! Craig, the planet's about to burn!
0:36:59 > 0:37:01For God's sake, kiss the girl!
0:37:01 > 0:37:03Kiss the girl!
0:37:14 > 0:37:16'Doctor!'
0:37:16 > 0:37:18You've done it.
0:37:18 > 0:37:21Aha, you've done it!
0:37:21 > 0:37:26'Oh, now the screen's just zeros! Now it's minus ones, minus twos, minus threes...'
0:37:26 > 0:37:27Big yes!
0:37:27 > 0:37:31DIFFERENT VOICES: Help me. Help me. Help me. Help me.
0:37:31 > 0:37:32Big no.
0:37:32 > 0:37:35- Help me. Help me. Help me. Help me. - Did we switch it off?
0:37:35 > 0:37:40Emergency shutdown, it's imploding, everybody out, out, out!
0:37:40 > 0:37:44Help me. Help me. Help me. Help me. Help me...
0:37:44 > 0:37:46Help me. Help me. Help me...
0:37:46 > 0:37:48- Doctor! - Help me. Help me. Help me...
0:38:10 > 0:38:15Look at them. Didn't they see that? The whole top floor just vanished.
0:38:15 > 0:38:18Perception filter. There never was a top floor.
0:38:30 > 0:38:34- So have we spoiled our friendship, then?- Totally ruined it.
0:38:34 > 0:38:36And what about the monkeys?
0:38:36 > 0:38:38We could save them together, you know.
0:38:38 > 0:38:42Do whatever we want. I could see the point of Paris if you were there with me.
0:38:42 > 0:38:45First let's destroy our friendship completely.
0:38:59 > 0:39:02- Oi! - What, you're trying to sneak off?
0:39:02 > 0:39:04Yes, well, you were sort of...
0:39:04 > 0:39:05busy.
0:39:08 > 0:39:12- I want you to keep these.- Thank you.
0:39:12 > 0:39:15- Cos I might pop back soon, have another little stay.- No, you won't.
0:39:15 > 0:39:19I've been in your head, remember. But I still want you to keep them.
0:39:20 > 0:39:23- Thank you, Craig.- Thank you, Doctor.
0:39:23 > 0:39:29Sophie. Now then. 6,000,400,026 people in the world.
0:39:29 > 0:39:32That's the number to beat.
0:39:33 > 0:39:34Yeah.
0:39:58 > 0:40:03Back in time! You need to go to the paper shop, leave that note for me.
0:40:03 > 0:40:06Right little matchmaker, aren't you? Can't you find me a fella?
0:40:06 > 0:40:10Oh, rectifier's playing up again... Hold on.
0:40:10 > 0:40:12- You write the note and I'll change that will.- You got a pen?
0:40:12 > 0:40:14Make sure it's a red pen.
0:40:46 > 0:40:49There were cracks.
0:40:49 > 0:40:54Through some we saw silence and the end of all things.
0:40:54 > 0:40:55It's the crack in my wall.
0:40:55 > 0:40:59Two parts of space and time that should never have touched, pressed together.
0:40:59 > 0:41:02- All through the universe, rips in the continuum.- How could it be here?
0:41:02 > 0:41:05- How can it be following me?- I don't know yet, but I'm working it out.
0:41:05 > 0:41:11Some sort of space-time catechism? Big enough to put cracks in the universe. But what?
0:41:11 > 0:41:17The universe is cracked. The Pandorica will open, silence will fall.
0:41:17 > 0:41:22Pandorica... Ha! That's a fairytale!
0:41:22 > 0:41:25If it is real, it's here and it's opening.
0:41:25 > 0:41:30- What is it?- A box, a cage a prison.
0:41:30 > 0:41:36There was a goblin or a Trickster, or a warrior, soaked in the blood of a billion galaxies.
0:41:36 > 0:41:41The most feared being in all the cosmos.
0:41:41 > 0:41:43The Pandorica.
0:41:43 > 0:41:45More than just a fairytale.
0:41:46 > 0:41:49- It's opening.- Your world has visitors.
0:41:49 > 0:41:54Daleks, Doctor, and Cyberships, Sontarans, Slitheen, Chelonian, Nestene, Drahvin, Sycorax...
0:41:54 > 0:41:56What's in there, what could justify all this?
0:41:56 > 0:41:58What are you?
0:41:58 > 0:42:00What could you possibly be?
0:42:13 > 0:42:16Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd
0:42:16 > 0:42:20E-mail subtitling@bbc.co.uk