Dinosaurs on a Spaceship

Download Subtitles

Transcript

0:00:02 > 0:00:05Bye then! Lovely meeting you, sorry about the mess.

0:00:05 > 0:00:11You think I'll let you leave without me,

0:00:11 > 0:00:13after what we've just been through?

0:00:13 > 0:00:16You've got the Egyptian people to rule, Queen Nefertiti.

0:00:16 > 0:00:18They'll need reassuring after that weapon-bearing

0:00:18 > 0:00:21giant alien locust attack we just stopped, rather brilliantly.

0:00:21 > 0:00:23- HOOTER SOUNDS - Sorry!

0:00:23 > 0:00:27- Got it set to temporal newsfeed... Oh, that's interesting! - What is?- Nothing!

0:00:27 > 0:00:30Not at.. Ohh! Never been there, exciting!

0:00:35 > 0:00:38Craft size approximately ten million square kilometres.

0:00:38 > 0:00:42A ship the size of Canada, coming at Earth very fast.

0:00:42 > 0:00:43Any signs of life?

0:00:43 > 0:00:46We sent up a drone craft, it took these readings.

0:00:46 > 0:00:48Crikey Charlie, look at that!

0:00:48 > 0:00:51Ooh, I know someone who'd love a look. And the Ponds!

0:00:51 > 0:00:53Mustn't forget the Ponds! Haven't seen them in ages.

0:00:53 > 0:00:57I'm riffing, people usually stop me when I'm riffing, or carry on without me.

0:00:57 > 0:00:59Can you communicate with this craft?

0:00:59 > 0:01:02She's with me. Good question, Neffy.

0:01:02 > 0:01:06No. No response on any channel in any recognised language.

0:01:06 > 0:01:12If it comes within 10,000 kilometres of Earth, we send up missiles.

0:01:12 > 0:01:15Oh, Indira, I liked you before you said missiles.

0:01:15 > 0:01:18How long till the ship gets that close?

0:01:18 > 0:01:20Six hours, nineteen minutes.

0:01:20 > 0:01:23Right, better get a shift on then! Leave it with us. Come on then, Neffy!

0:01:23 > 0:01:25We're going to need help.

0:01:26 > 0:01:28More stew?

0:01:28 > 0:01:31Where have you been, man?! Seven months! You were popping out for some liquorice!

0:01:31 > 0:01:34I had two very disappointed dancers on my hands!

0:01:34 > 0:01:35Not that I couldn't manage.

0:01:37 > 0:01:42Riddell, listen, I've found... well, something.

0:01:42 > 0:01:45No, no, no, no, no, no. I shan't fall for that again.

0:01:50 > 0:01:52What is it?

0:01:52 > 0:01:54I've no idea. Do you want to find out?

0:01:59 > 0:02:00I think it's the fitting.

0:02:00 > 0:02:02Dad, it's not the fitting, it just needs a new bulb.

0:02:02 > 0:02:04- You're wobbling the ladder. - I'm not!

0:02:04 > 0:02:06I don't want another loft incident.

0:02:06 > 0:02:08- How's my side, Brian? - Perfect as ever, Amy.

0:02:08 > 0:02:10Thank you, Brian!

0:02:10 > 0:02:13I don't know what he said to you to make you marry him,

0:02:13 > 0:02:15but he's a lucky man.

0:02:15 > 0:02:17- METALLIC THRUMMING - Not here! Not now!

0:02:17 > 0:02:20- Did you leave the back door open? - What is he doing?!

0:02:20 > 0:02:21I'm going to kill him!

0:02:23 > 0:02:24Hello!

0:02:24 > 0:02:27You weren't busy, were you? Well, even if you were,

0:02:27 > 0:02:29it wasn't as interesting as this probably is.

0:02:29 > 0:02:33Didn't want you to miss it. Now, just a quick hop.

0:02:40 > 0:02:42Everybody grab a torch!

0:02:49 > 0:02:51Spiders.

0:02:51 > 0:02:55Don't normally get spiders in space.

0:02:55 > 0:02:57What the...?

0:02:57 > 0:02:58Don't move!

0:02:58 > 0:03:01D'you really think I'm that stupid I wouldn't notice?

0:03:01 > 0:03:03How did you get aboard? Transmat? Who sent you?

0:03:03 > 0:03:05Doctor... >

0:03:06 > 0:03:09..that's my dad.

0:03:09 > 0:03:11- Well, frankly, that's outrageous. - What?

0:03:11 > 0:03:15You think you can bring your dad along without asking? I'm not a taxi service!

0:03:15 > 0:03:17You materialised around us!

0:03:17 > 0:03:21Oh, well, that's fine then, my mistake.

0:03:21 > 0:03:24Hello, Brian, how are you? Nice to meet you. Welcome, welcome!

0:03:24 > 0:03:28This is the gang. I've got a gang - yes! Come on then, everyone!

0:03:29 > 0:03:33- Tell him something, quick. - Yes, thank you!

0:03:35 > 0:03:37I'm not entirely sure what's going on.

0:03:37 > 0:03:40You know when Amy and I first got married and we went travelling?

0:03:40 > 0:03:43- To Thailand. - More the entirety of space and time.

0:03:43 > 0:03:45In that police box.

0:03:45 > 0:03:48LOUD THUDDING

0:03:52 > 0:03:55All right, where are we, and what is that noise?

0:03:55 > 0:03:56And hello! Ten months!

0:03:56 > 0:04:01Orbiting Earth - well, I say orbiting, more like pre-crashing on a spaceship -

0:04:01 > 0:04:04don't know, and hello, Pond.

0:04:04 > 0:04:07Ten months, time flies. Never really understood that phrase.

0:04:07 > 0:04:09This is Neffy, this is Riddell. They're with me.

0:04:09 > 0:04:13With you? They're with you, are they the new us? Is that why we haven't seen you?

0:04:13 > 0:04:15No, they're just people. They're not Ponds!

0:04:15 > 0:04:20I thought we might need a gang, not really had a gang before, it's new.

0:04:20 > 0:04:22LIFT MECHANISM WHIRRS

0:04:27 > 0:04:28- It's coming down. - What is it?

0:04:28 > 0:04:31No idea.

0:04:38 > 0:04:41CREATURES ROAR

0:04:42 > 0:04:44Not possible!

0:04:44 > 0:04:46Run!

0:04:49 > 0:04:51Doctor!

0:04:51 > 0:04:56I know! Dinosaurs! On a spaceship!

0:05:33 > 0:05:36DINOSAURS ROAR

0:05:44 > 0:05:46In here!

0:05:53 > 0:05:57DINOSAURS ROAR AND CRASH

0:06:03 > 0:06:07(I could take one of them, short blow, up into the throat.)

0:06:07 > 0:06:09(Or not. We've just found dinosaurs, in space.

0:06:09 > 0:06:10(We need to preserve them.)

0:06:10 > 0:06:13- (And who's going to preserve us?) - Sshh!

0:06:35 > 0:06:39OK, so, how? And whose ship?

0:06:39 > 0:06:41There's so much to discover,

0:06:41 > 0:06:44think how much wiser we'll be by the end of all this.

0:06:44 > 0:06:50Sorry. Sorry. Are you saying dinosaurs are flying a spaceship?

0:06:50 > 0:06:52Brian, please! That would be ridiculous.

0:06:52 > 0:06:55- They're probably just passengers. Did I mention missiles?- Missiles?!

0:06:55 > 0:06:57Didn't want to worry you.

0:06:57 > 0:07:00Anyway, six hours is a lifetime... not literally a lifetime,

0:07:00 > 0:07:05that's what we're trying to avoid. And we're all really clever!

0:07:05 > 0:07:07Let's see what we can find out.

0:07:07 > 0:07:08(Come on.)

0:07:13 > 0:07:15Eugh!

0:07:15 > 0:07:18How many dinosaurs do you think are on here?

0:07:22 > 0:07:25Oh, well done, whoever you are.

0:07:25 > 0:07:26Looking for engines.

0:07:26 > 0:07:31Thank you, computer. Look at that, different sections have different engines,

0:07:31 > 0:07:33but these look like the primary clusters.

0:07:33 > 0:07:37Where are we now, computer? We need to get down to these engines...

0:07:39 > 0:07:42- What happened? - Oh, great!

0:07:42 > 0:07:44..and find out how...

0:07:44 > 0:07:46What?!

0:07:46 > 0:07:49We're outside. We're on a beach.

0:07:49 > 0:07:53Teleport! Oh, I hate teleports. Must have activated on my voice.

0:07:53 > 0:07:57Ah, yes, well, thank you, Arthur C Clarke!

0:07:57 > 0:08:02Teleport, obviously, I mean, we're on a spaceship, with dinosaurs, why wouldn't there be a teleport?

0:08:02 > 0:08:05In fact why don't we just teleport now?!

0:08:06 > 0:08:08Is he all right?

0:08:08 > 0:08:11He hates travelling. Makes him anxious. He only goes to the paper shop and golf.

0:08:11 > 0:08:13What did you bring him for?

0:08:13 > 0:08:17I didn't! Why can't you just phone ahead, like any normal person?

0:08:19 > 0:08:21Can somebody tell me where we are, now?

0:08:24 > 0:08:28Well, it's not Earth. Doesn't taste right, too metallic.

0:08:28 > 0:08:30BIRDLIKE SCREECHING

0:08:30 > 0:08:32Is that a kestrel?

0:08:32 > 0:08:33I do hope so.

0:08:33 > 0:08:36- The beach is humming. - Is it? Oh, yes!

0:08:36 > 0:08:39Right, well, don't just stand there, you two, dig!

0:08:39 > 0:08:42I'm going to look at rocks. Love a rock.

0:08:42 > 0:08:45- Dig with what? - Ah! Well!

0:08:47 > 0:08:49Did you just have that on you?

0:08:49 > 0:08:54Of course! What sort of a man doesn't carry a trowel?

0:08:54 > 0:08:55Put it on your Christmas list.

0:08:55 > 0:08:57Dad, I'm 31. I don't have a Christmas list any more.

0:08:57 > 0:08:59I do!

0:09:01 > 0:09:02METALLIC TING

0:09:04 > 0:09:08There's a floor under this beach!

0:09:08 > 0:09:12'Doctor! Doctor!'

0:09:12 > 0:09:16Did you hear that? Did you hear what he called him?

0:09:16 > 0:09:19Doctor! After all this time!

0:09:21 > 0:09:23Bring them to me.

0:09:25 > 0:09:29There are clearly more than just two of those creatures.

0:09:29 > 0:09:31Hey, put that away, I need you sober.

0:09:31 > 0:09:35It's medicinal. And I don't take orders from females.

0:09:35 > 0:09:40Then learn. Any man who speaks to me that way, I execute.

0:09:40 > 0:09:42You're very welcome to try.

0:09:44 > 0:09:47Sorry, what was your name again?

0:09:47 > 0:09:49Lady of the Two Lands,

0:09:49 > 0:09:54wife of the Great King Amenhotep, Queen Nefertiti of Egypt.

0:09:54 > 0:09:55I'll be damned...

0:09:55 > 0:10:02Oh, my God! Queen Nefertiti! I learned all about you at school. You're awesome! Big fan, high-five!

0:10:03 > 0:10:07Yeah, bit behind on that. You're really famous.

0:10:07 > 0:10:08Ssh! Listen.

0:10:08 > 0:10:12LOUD, RUMBLING SNORTS

0:10:19 > 0:10:23OK. At a guess, T-Rex.

0:10:23 > 0:10:25Not yet full size.

0:10:25 > 0:10:27We're in the middle of a dinosaur nest.

0:10:27 > 0:10:28I propose a retreat.

0:10:30 > 0:10:32Or perhaps forwards.

0:10:32 > 0:10:35Agreed. Just don't wake the baby.

0:10:57 > 0:10:59Who are you, anyway?

0:10:59 > 0:11:04John Riddell. Big game hunter on the African plains. I'm sure you've heard of me, too.

0:11:04 > 0:11:07- No.- You clearly have some alarming gaps in your education.

0:11:07 > 0:11:12Or men who hunt defenceless creatures just don't impact on history.

0:11:12 > 0:11:14Face it, she's way cooler than you.

0:11:14 > 0:11:18And you, Amy? Are you also a queen?

0:11:19 > 0:11:22Yes. Yes, I am.

0:11:24 > 0:11:29See! Metal floor, screens in rocks. It was just a short-range teleport.

0:11:29 > 0:11:32- We're still on the ship. - No. We're outside, on a beach.

0:11:32 > 0:11:34- No, it's part of the ship, Dad. - Don't be ridiculous.

0:11:34 > 0:11:36Well, it is quite ridiculous, also brilliant.

0:11:36 > 0:11:40That's why the system teleported us here - I wanted the engines.

0:11:40 > 0:11:45This is the engine room! Hydro-generators.

0:11:45 > 0:11:48I have literally no idea what he's saying.

0:11:48 > 0:11:50A spaceship powered by waves.

0:11:50 > 0:11:53Fabulously impossible! Oh, think of the things we could learn from this ship

0:11:53 > 0:11:55if we manage to stop it being blown to pieces.

0:11:55 > 0:11:59- Plus, not dying. - Bad news is - can't shut the wave systems down in time.

0:11:59 > 0:12:02Takes...takes way too long.

0:12:02 > 0:12:06- If these are the engines, there must be a control room. - That's what we need to find.

0:12:06 > 0:12:10Now, what do we do about the things that aren't kestrels?

0:12:10 > 0:12:13CREATURES SCREECHING

0:12:13 > 0:12:14Oh, my Lord.

0:12:17 > 0:12:19Are those pterodactyls?

0:12:19 > 0:12:21Yes. On any other occasion, I'd be thrilled.

0:12:21 > 0:12:24Exposed on a beach, less than thrilled. We should be going.

0:12:24 > 0:12:26- Where?- Definitely away from them!

0:12:26 > 0:12:30- That's the plan?! - Amendments welcome! Move away from the pterodactyls!

0:12:30 > 0:12:32I think they might be noticing!

0:12:32 > 0:12:36- Amended plan - run! - Can't we just teleport or something?

0:12:36 > 0:12:38No, local teleport's burned out on arrival.

0:12:45 > 0:12:48There's an opening in the cliffs over there!

0:12:48 > 0:12:50Come on, run!

0:12:50 > 0:12:52I'm trying!

0:13:02 > 0:13:03Are you all right?

0:13:03 > 0:13:07Yeah, I'm fine. What do we do now? There's no way back out there.

0:13:07 > 0:13:09Through the cave, come on.

0:13:09 > 0:13:11LOUD THUDDING

0:13:11 > 0:13:13That suggestion was a work in progress.

0:13:13 > 0:13:15We're trapped!

0:13:15 > 0:13:18Yes, thanks for spelling it out.

0:13:18 > 0:13:20Doctor, whatever's down there is coming this way.

0:13:20 > 0:13:23Spelling-it-out is hereditary, wonderful!

0:13:23 > 0:13:25That sound's getting nearer!

0:13:42 > 0:13:44We're very cross with you!

0:13:50 > 0:13:53Bit of weedkiller wouldn't go amiss in here.

0:13:53 > 0:13:55Whoever was running this vessel left in a hurry.

0:13:55 > 0:13:58Maybe a plague came and took them.

0:13:58 > 0:14:00No, there'd be corpses and bones.

0:14:00 > 0:14:03Unless the animals ate them.

0:14:03 > 0:14:06Whoa, Chuckle Brothers, lighten up, would ya?

0:14:08 > 0:14:10COMPUTER HUMS INTO LIFE

0:14:10 > 0:14:12How did you know how to do that?

0:14:12 > 0:14:15I've spent enough time with the Doctor to know

0:14:15 > 0:14:17whenever you enter somewhere new, press buttons.

0:14:17 > 0:14:19What else have you learned from him?

0:14:19 > 0:14:22Don't stop at button-pressing.

0:14:24 > 0:14:27- 'One hundred and seventeen years...' - Data records.

0:14:28 > 0:14:32- Ship's owners? - Could be. Come on, help us out...

0:14:32 > 0:14:33'..will remain cryogenic...'

0:14:33 > 0:14:35DINOSAUR SNARLS AND SNORTS

0:14:39 > 0:14:43'..space sleep... I will continue to work...'

0:14:43 > 0:14:46How about a picture? Come on, for me!

0:14:46 > 0:14:48'..far beyond our mapping...'

0:14:49 > 0:14:51Look! It's beautiful.

0:14:54 > 0:14:56'I can't tell how far we have come.

0:14:58 > 0:15:01'Far enough to avoid the destructive impact forecast for our planet.

0:15:03 > 0:15:05'Far enough for me to feel a profound sense of loss.'

0:15:05 > 0:15:06What is that?

0:15:08 > 0:15:10Silurian.

0:15:10 > 0:15:14You're going straight on the naughty step!

0:15:14 > 0:15:16(What's the escape plan?)

0:15:16 > 0:15:19Why do we want to escape?

0:15:19 > 0:15:21(They have us hostage.)

0:15:21 > 0:15:24They're taking us somewhere. We might learn from it.

0:15:24 > 0:15:27Oh, you see? So clever. I missed you, Rory!

0:15:27 > 0:15:30- Don't do that.- What if they kill us? - They wouldn't do that!

0:15:30 > 0:15:33You're not going to kill us, are you, rusty?

0:15:33 > 0:15:37- Who are you calling Rusty?! - Have you seen yourself lately?

0:15:37 > 0:15:39You try being on this ship for two millennia,

0:15:39 > 0:15:41see how YOUR paintwork does!

0:15:41 > 0:15:45Don't listen to him, he's just being mean cos we captured him.

0:15:45 > 0:15:49- Oh, my goodness...- Whoa.- Ooh.

0:15:50 > 0:15:55Herbivore, Brian, don't panic. Triceratops. Ha! Beautiful.

0:15:55 > 0:15:58- Shall I shoot it?- We're not supposed to shoot the creatures, stupid!

0:15:58 > 0:16:00- Stop calling me stupid! - IT ROARS

0:16:00 > 0:16:04"Rargh" yourself! Hello, cutie-pie.

0:16:04 > 0:16:08Who's a lovely Tricey then, eh? Yes, you are.

0:16:08 > 0:16:10Yes, you are.

0:16:10 > 0:16:12What do I do?! What do I do?!

0:16:14 > 0:16:15What's it doing?!

0:16:18 > 0:16:22You don't have any vegetable matter in your trousers, do you, Brian?

0:16:22 > 0:16:23Only my balls.

0:16:24 > 0:16:28- I'm sorry? - Golf balls. Grassy residue.

0:16:28 > 0:16:31What're you carrying those around for?

0:16:33 > 0:16:36Urgh! Eurgh!

0:16:37 > 0:16:39- Argh!- Aw, bless.

0:16:39 > 0:16:42Get it away from me!

0:16:42 > 0:16:44- Throw one.- Really?

0:16:44 > 0:16:47Is this what you want? Is it?

0:16:51 > 0:16:53And breathe out.

0:16:55 > 0:16:59Right! Take us to your leader.

0:16:59 > 0:17:01- Really?- Too good to resist.

0:17:02 > 0:17:05Of the 50 species loaded,

0:17:05 > 0:17:08only one has had any difficulty in surviving.

0:17:08 > 0:17:11All the others are thriving

0:17:11 > 0:17:14and we expect them to be able to repopulate.

0:17:14 > 0:17:17We're on an ark. A Silurian ark.

0:17:17 > 0:17:22Lizard people herding dinosaurs on to a space ark?! Absolute tommy-rot.

0:17:22 > 0:17:25Only an idiot denies the evidence of their own eyes.

0:17:25 > 0:17:26Egyptian queen or not,

0:17:26 > 0:17:29- I shall put you across my knee and spank you.- Oh, Lord.

0:17:29 > 0:17:33Try and I'll snap your neck in a heartbeat.

0:17:33 > 0:17:36Mm. Well, they certainly bred firecrackers in your time

0:17:36 > 0:17:39Aw, no, no, no. Please, don't start flirting.

0:17:39 > 0:17:41I will not have flirting companions!

0:17:41 > 0:17:45If the Doctor trusts Amy, so do I. Stop doubting her.

0:17:48 > 0:17:51- If this ship was built by... - Silurians, yeah.

0:17:51 > 0:17:53Where are they?

0:17:54 > 0:17:56Surprisingly good question.

0:17:56 > 0:17:59Display life signs for homo reptilia.

0:18:03 > 0:18:05But where have they gone?

0:18:05 > 0:18:08Perhaps they found another world, left the ship.

0:18:08 > 0:18:10Why are the dinosaurs still on board?

0:18:10 > 0:18:11And why is the ship coming back to Earth?

0:18:11 > 0:18:15It doesn't make sense. What's changed between then and now?

0:18:15 > 0:18:18Wait - computer, show me the ship at launch with all life signals.

0:18:22 > 0:18:25Now show me the ship today with all life signals.

0:18:25 > 0:18:28Thousands less. But why? I mean...

0:18:28 > 0:18:30Show me both images, then and now, side by side.

0:18:30 > 0:18:32What are you looking for?

0:18:32 > 0:18:35OK, two images, spot the difference. What changed?

0:18:35 > 0:18:37What happened to the Silurians?

0:18:37 > 0:18:40- The centre. - Computer, zoom in to the centre.

0:18:40 > 0:18:42- Oh, no.- What is it?

0:18:44 > 0:18:46Another spacecraft.

0:18:47 > 0:18:49This ship's been boarded before.

0:19:01 > 0:19:04Love what you've done with the place down here.

0:19:04 > 0:19:06Let him in. Open the gate. >

0:19:14 > 0:19:18- PIANO MUSIC PLAYS - It's fine. It's fine.

0:19:18 > 0:19:20He's not interested in YOU.

0:19:20 > 0:19:23Look, you need to learn some manners.

0:19:23 > 0:19:25No, YOU need to learn some manners!

0:19:25 > 0:19:27No, YOU do!

0:19:27 > 0:19:30No, YOU do! Mr...Manners!

0:19:30 > 0:19:35Fantasia in F Minor for four hands.

0:19:37 > 0:19:40- You know it.- Know it?

0:19:40 > 0:19:43Say hello to hands three and four!

0:19:43 > 0:19:45Schubert kept tickling me to try and put me off.

0:19:45 > 0:19:48Franz the Hands. Oh, that takes me back.

0:19:48 > 0:19:51Well, this is...

0:19:51 > 0:19:52cosy.

0:19:54 > 0:19:56It's fate you came.

0:19:58 > 0:20:01Is it? I'm the Doctor

0:20:01 > 0:20:03Yes, I know.

0:20:04 > 0:20:07- I'm Solomon. - COMPUTER BEEPS

0:20:07 > 0:20:08What's that?

0:20:10 > 0:20:14System malfunction, ignore it.

0:20:14 > 0:20:16What happened to you?

0:20:16 > 0:20:20I was attacked. Three raptors. They cornered me.

0:20:21 > 0:20:25The robots rescued me, but it was nearly too late

0:20:25 > 0:20:27Ah, yes. The robots.

0:20:28 > 0:20:31They're...unusual.

0:20:31 > 0:20:35I got them cheap, from a concession on Illyria Seven.

0:20:36 > 0:20:39The robots did as best they could with my legs, but...

0:20:40 > 0:20:43..you can help me so much more.

0:20:44 > 0:20:49Oh, a "doctor" doctor! I see.

0:20:49 > 0:20:51Let's have a look.

0:20:55 > 0:20:58They chewed through part of the bone in my legs.

0:21:02 > 0:21:05- HE GASPS WITH PAIN - Yes, very nasty.

0:21:07 > 0:21:09But you can repair them.

0:21:13 > 0:21:16If you tell me how you came by so many dinosaurs.

0:21:19 > 0:21:22- COMPUTER BEEPS - Injure the older one.

0:21:24 > 0:21:25What?

0:21:26 > 0:21:29Dad! Dad...

0:21:31 > 0:21:34It's all right, Dad, it's OK, it's OK.

0:21:36 > 0:21:39I don't respond well to violence, Solomon.

0:21:41 > 0:21:44And I don't like questions, Doctor.

0:21:44 > 0:21:47You boarded without my permission.

0:21:47 > 0:21:50Now, fix me or the next bolt will be fatal.

0:21:52 > 0:21:55I will take you apart cog by cog,

0:21:55 > 0:21:57and melt you down when all this is over.

0:21:57 > 0:22:00Oh, I'm so scared(!) Actually, I might be.

0:22:00 > 0:22:02A little bit of oil just came out.

0:22:03 > 0:22:06Stay still. It's just a burn, it's nothing serious.

0:22:06 > 0:22:09- What's that?- Well, you carry a trowel, I carry a medpack.

0:22:09 > 0:22:10It's all about the pockets in our family.

0:22:10 > 0:22:13This is an ice patch. It cools the skin.

0:22:13 > 0:22:16- Never seen one of those.- I look out for cool stuff wherever we go.

0:22:16 > 0:22:22Some people it's cars and hardware, for me it is nursing supplies.

0:22:22 > 0:22:24Now...painkiller.

0:22:24 > 0:22:26Now, this won't hurt.

0:22:26 > 0:22:29- Ow!- I lied.

0:22:29 > 0:22:31It won't hurt from now on, though.

0:22:31 > 0:22:35- All right. You're done.- Thanks.

0:22:35 > 0:22:37S'all right.

0:22:38 > 0:22:41You get to see my awesome nursing skills in action for once.

0:22:41 > 0:22:43PHONE RINGS What's that?

0:22:43 > 0:22:46Your phone's ringing. In space!

0:22:46 > 0:22:49You get used to it. I have to take this. The wife.

0:22:49 > 0:22:51- Hello, Mrs.- Where are you?

0:22:51 > 0:22:53Still on board.

0:22:53 > 0:22:58Met some pterodactyls and some rusty robots, that I'm going to MELT DOWN.

0:22:58 > 0:23:00Rory, this is a Silurian ship.

0:23:00 > 0:23:03How did you get on board, Doctor?

0:23:06 > 0:23:10Oh, I never talk about myself with a gun pointed at me.

0:23:10 > 0:23:12Let's talk about you.

0:23:12 > 0:23:15Your cosy little craft embedded in a vast, old ship.

0:23:17 > 0:23:20- Very observant.- I'm a Sagittarius.

0:23:20 > 0:23:21Probably.

0:23:21 > 0:23:24I'm transporting it to the Roxborne Peninsula.

0:23:24 > 0:23:28The commerce colony. You're a trader.

0:23:28 > 0:23:32I search out opportunities for profit across the nine galaxies.

0:23:32 > 0:23:37Ah, the purple light. That's what it was.

0:23:37 > 0:23:40An IV system - identify and value:

0:23:40 > 0:23:42the database of everything across space and time,

0:23:42 > 0:23:44allocated a market value.

0:23:45 > 0:23:47Argos for the universe.

0:23:49 > 0:23:51You were trying to find out how much I'm worth.

0:23:51 > 0:23:53Would you like to know?

0:24:08 > 0:24:10You don't exist.

0:24:11 > 0:24:12It's never done that.

0:24:12 > 0:24:16That's me. Worthless.

0:24:16 > 0:24:19Unlike these creatures you have on board.

0:24:19 > 0:24:21Very valuable...

0:24:22 > 0:24:25- ..given they're extinct. - DEVICE WHINES

0:24:25 > 0:24:27HE GROANS WITH PAIN

0:24:27 > 0:24:31Done, sit up. Very slowly.

0:24:31 > 0:24:34Doctor? Amy.

0:24:34 > 0:24:36I need to take this.

0:24:37 > 0:24:39Amy.

0:24:39 > 0:24:42This is an ark, built by the Silurians. They were looking for another planet.

0:24:43 > 0:24:46- Where are they now?- None on board.

0:24:46 > 0:24:49- I mean, thousands of stasis pods - all empty.- I'll see you soon.

0:24:54 > 0:24:56(Be ready.)

0:24:56 > 0:25:00The pain in my legs. It's gone.

0:25:00 > 0:25:02I can move them. Thank you, Doctor.

0:25:05 > 0:25:07What did you do to the Silurians?

0:25:08 > 0:25:10We ejected them.

0:25:12 > 0:25:15The robots woke them from cryo-sleep a handful at a time,

0:25:15 > 0:25:17and jettisoned them from the airlocks.

0:25:19 > 0:25:22We must have left a trail of dust and bone.

0:25:22 > 0:25:25Because you wanted the dinosaurs.

0:25:25 > 0:25:28Their ship crossed my path.

0:25:28 > 0:25:32I sent out a distress signal. They let me board.

0:25:32 > 0:25:37But when I saw the cargo, things became more complex.

0:25:37 > 0:25:39Piracy and then genocide.

0:25:39 > 0:25:41Very emotive words, Doctor.

0:25:41 > 0:25:43Oh, I'm a very emotive man.

0:25:43 > 0:25:46The lizards wouldn't negotiate.

0:25:46 > 0:25:48I made them a generous offer.

0:25:48 > 0:25:51The creatures on board this ship are not objects to be sold or traded.

0:25:51 > 0:25:53I feel like you're judging me.

0:25:53 > 0:25:56You said Roxborne Peninsula, so why are you heading to Earth?

0:25:56 > 0:25:58You're on the wrong course.

0:26:01 > 0:26:02Oh.

0:26:03 > 0:26:08You don't know how. Ha! Brilliant.

0:26:08 > 0:26:10You couldn't change the pre-programmed course.

0:26:10 > 0:26:13Without instructions, the ship defaulted, returned home.

0:26:13 > 0:26:16Oh, dear.

0:26:16 > 0:26:20The Silurians outwitted you, even after you'd massacred them.

0:26:20 > 0:26:25So now you're a prisoner on the ship that you hijacked.

0:26:25 > 0:26:26Not now you're here.

0:26:26 > 0:26:29You're going to help me to where I want to go, Doctor.

0:26:29 > 0:26:32Little bit of news, Solomon. You're being targeted by missiles.

0:26:34 > 0:26:36Get off this ship...

0:26:39 > 0:26:41..while you still can.

0:26:41 > 0:26:45You think I believe that?

0:26:45 > 0:26:48You just want them for yourself.

0:26:48 > 0:26:51You won't profit from me, Doctor.

0:26:51 > 0:26:53Don't ever judge me by your standards.

0:26:55 > 0:26:58Well, don't just stand there, Rory! Hey, he wants to see you.

0:26:58 > 0:27:01Dad, up!

0:27:05 > 0:27:09- What're we doing?!- Just do exactly as I do!- Doctor, no!

0:27:09 > 0:27:10Geronimo!

0:27:15 > 0:27:19- Did you call? - What're you doing?! Stop them!

0:27:19 > 0:27:21- All right! Don't shout. - Useless machines!

0:27:25 > 0:27:30- Go, Tricey! Run like the wind! - TRICERATOPS BELLOWS

0:27:34 > 0:27:36How do you start a triceratops?!

0:27:38 > 0:27:41- There they are. - I know! I saw them before you.

0:27:43 > 0:27:45Tricey, fetch!

0:27:46 > 0:27:50Ha-ha! That-a-boy! Yee-hah!

0:27:52 > 0:27:54Come on, Tricey!

0:27:56 > 0:27:59Woo-hoo!

0:27:59 > 0:28:02- They've stolen a dinosaur! - I can see that.

0:28:04 > 0:28:07Come on, Tricey! Faster, baby!

0:28:13 > 0:28:15Whoa!

0:28:15 > 0:28:18They're turning off, we're losing them!

0:28:18 > 0:28:21- Which way did they go? - I thought you were looking!

0:28:21 > 0:28:24No! Now they've got away.

0:28:24 > 0:28:26We definitely used to be faster.

0:28:27 > 0:28:31- I'm riding a dinosaur! On a spaceship!- I know!

0:28:31 > 0:28:35- I only came round to fix your light! - Come on, Tricey!

0:28:37 > 0:28:39Where are the brakes?!

0:28:39 > 0:28:41- ALL:- Whoa!

0:28:44 > 0:28:46Argh!

0:28:54 > 0:28:57THEY GROAN

0:28:57 > 0:29:00TRICERATOPS GRUNTS

0:29:07 > 0:29:10Good, that worked! OK...

0:29:10 > 0:29:13Where are we now? Ooh.

0:29:13 > 0:29:18Incoming message from Earth. Hello, Earth! How are things?

0:29:18 > 0:29:22Doctor, the ship's coming through the atmosphere.

0:29:22 > 0:29:25- I have to start the missile program. - No. No, no, no - don't do that,

0:29:25 > 0:29:27everything's under control here, turning round any moment.

0:29:27 > 0:29:29Need a bit of wriggle room on the timings...

0:29:29 > 0:29:33- I can't do that. - You can, of course you can. Tiny bit more time, Indira, please.

0:29:33 > 0:29:35This ship contains the most precious cargo...

0:29:35 > 0:29:39'My only responsibility is the Earth's safety.'

0:29:39 > 0:29:43I'm launching the missiles. Goodbye, Doctor.

0:29:43 > 0:29:47No Indira! Hey, come back! Please!

0:29:47 > 0:29:49- LOUDSPEAKER:- 'Target identified.

0:29:49 > 0:29:51'Navigation systems locking on to target.

0:29:51 > 0:29:56'Missile launch procedure initiated. Estimated impact: 30 minutes.'

0:29:58 > 0:30:01Now these are what we need - dinosaur protection.

0:30:04 > 0:30:05No weapons!

0:30:07 > 0:30:09Anaesthetic.

0:30:09 > 0:30:11These are stun guns. You're almost clever.

0:30:11 > 0:30:14Enough to make a dinosaur take a nap.

0:30:14 > 0:30:16Even the Doctor couldn't object to that.

0:30:16 > 0:30:19You and the Doctor... Are you his queen?

0:30:19 > 0:30:20No, no, I'm Rory's queen.

0:30:20 > 0:30:24Wife. I'm his wife. Please don't tell him I said I was his queen -

0:30:24 > 0:30:26I'll never hear the end of it.

0:30:26 > 0:30:30- And the Doctor, does he have a queen?- I thought you had a husband.

0:30:30 > 0:30:33A male equivalent of a sleeping potion.

0:30:33 > 0:30:35You clearly need a man of action and excitement.

0:30:35 > 0:30:38One with a very large weapon.

0:30:41 > 0:30:45So, human sleeping potion or walking innuendo. Take your pick.

0:30:47 > 0:30:50'That's very bad indeed. Completely unhelpful.

0:30:50 > 0:30:53'Doesn't this ship have any defence systems installed?'

0:30:53 > 0:30:55Good thinking, Rory!

0:30:55 > 0:30:57Computer, show us weapons and defence systems.

0:30:59 > 0:31:01Well, that was a waste of time, wasn't it?

0:31:01 > 0:31:04- Getting my hopes up like that. - What ship doesn't have weapons?

0:31:04 > 0:31:07The ancient species, Rory - still full of hope.

0:31:07 > 0:31:08What about the control deck?

0:31:08 > 0:31:10You said we should go to the control deck next.

0:31:10 > 0:31:14- It's too late, it won't make any difference.- We could at least try.

0:31:14 > 0:31:18- It won't work, Rory. The missiles are locked on. - So, what? We're just giving up?

0:31:18 > 0:31:20I don't know.

0:31:20 > 0:31:22I don't know.

0:31:24 > 0:31:26You were telling the truth, Doctor.

0:31:26 > 0:31:29Earth has launched missiles.

0:31:29 > 0:31:31This vessel is too clumsy to outrun them,

0:31:31 > 0:31:34but I have my own ship.

0:31:34 > 0:31:36You won't get your precious cargo on board, though.

0:31:36 > 0:31:40It'll just be you and your metal tantrum machines.

0:31:40 > 0:31:44- We do not have tantrums!- Shut up!

0:31:47 > 0:31:49You're right, Doctor.

0:31:49 > 0:31:53I can't keep the dinosaurs and live myself.

0:31:53 > 0:31:56But I had the IV system scan the entire ship

0:31:56 > 0:31:59and it found something even more valuable.

0:31:59 > 0:32:02Utterly unique.

0:32:02 > 0:32:07I don't know where you found it or how you got it here, but I want it.

0:32:07 > 0:32:10I don't know what you're talking about.

0:32:10 > 0:32:12Earth Queen Nefertiti of Egypt.

0:32:14 > 0:32:17'A face stamped across history.'

0:32:17 > 0:32:20Give her to me and I'll let the rest of you live.

0:32:25 > 0:32:26No.

0:32:28 > 0:32:31You think I won't punish those who get in my way?

0:32:31 > 0:32:33Whatever their worth?

0:32:39 > 0:32:42TRICERATOPS ROARS

0:32:47 > 0:32:50TRICERATOPS WHIMPERS

0:32:58 > 0:33:01TRICERATOPS WHIMPERS

0:33:18 > 0:33:20You must be very proud.

0:33:20 > 0:33:24Bring her to me. Or the robots will make their way through your corpses.

0:33:29 > 0:33:31- Bring her now.- No.

0:33:41 > 0:33:43What are you doing?

0:33:43 > 0:33:45I demanded to be brought here.

0:33:45 > 0:33:48- No, no, no, no - no way.- It isn't your choice, Doctor. It's mine.

0:33:48 > 0:33:51Listen to me, if you go with him, I can't guarantee your safety

0:33:51 > 0:33:54You saved my people. I am in your debt.

0:33:54 > 0:33:57No. No debts, you don't owe me anything

0:33:57 > 0:34:00- Then I do it of my own will. - Neffy, Neffy, Neffy...

0:34:00 > 0:34:02No! Take her, I shoot you.

0:34:02 > 0:34:05Put your weapon down. Let me make my choice.

0:34:05 > 0:34:07Do it, boy.

0:34:19 > 0:34:22My bounty increases.

0:34:22 > 0:34:25And what an extraordinary bounty you are.

0:34:25 > 0:34:27Never touch me.

0:34:31 > 0:34:35I like my possessions to have spirit.

0:34:36 > 0:34:38It means I can have fun breaking them.

0:34:40 > 0:34:44And I will break you in, with immense pleasure.

0:34:48 > 0:34:53Thank you, Doctor. Computer? Take us back to my ship.

0:34:56 > 0:34:59COMPUTER: 'Hostile targeting in progress.

0:34:59 > 0:35:01'Hostile targeting in progress.

0:35:01 > 0:35:04'Hostile targeting in progress.

0:35:04 > 0:35:08'Hostile targeting in progress.

0:35:08 > 0:35:14- 'Hostile targeting in progress.' - Bingo.- What is it? Doctor?

0:35:14 > 0:35:16OK, Control deck.

0:35:16 > 0:35:19So, what's the plan?

0:35:19 > 0:35:22Come on. The missiles are locked on to us, we can't outrun them,

0:35:22 > 0:35:25we have to save the dinosaurs and get Nefertiti back from Solomon, isn't it obvious?!

0:35:25 > 0:35:27It's sort of the opposite of obvious.

0:35:27 > 0:35:3117 minutes before the missiles hit, we need to turn this ship around.

0:35:31 > 0:35:33You said it was too late, there wasn't any time.

0:35:33 > 0:35:36Ah, yes, but I didn't have this plan then, did I?

0:35:36 > 0:35:39Riddell? Keep an eye out for dinosaurs.

0:35:39 > 0:35:41I was rather hoping you'd say that.

0:35:41 > 0:35:44No killing any. Rory, Brian, get rid of the cobwebs.

0:35:50 > 0:35:53Come on, come on. We're not moving.

0:35:53 > 0:35:55METAL CLANGS

0:35:57 > 0:36:01He's magnetised us. We can't move away!

0:36:05 > 0:36:08SOMETHING GROWLS

0:36:14 > 0:36:17Keep walking, big chap.

0:36:17 > 0:36:19SOMETHING GROWLS AGAIN

0:36:25 > 0:36:29Hell's teeth, that's really not fair!

0:36:29 > 0:36:32'Missile target will be reached in 11 minutes.'

0:36:32 > 0:36:36- No - don't be like that! Really unhelpful.- What's the matter?

0:36:36 > 0:36:40Parallel pilot compartments, bio-configured, needs two operators of the same gene chain.

0:36:40 > 0:36:43That's why Solomon couldn't change the ship's course

0:36:43 > 0:36:45and neither can we. What?

0:36:45 > 0:36:47We can.

0:36:47 > 0:36:50Me and Rory. We must be the same gene thingy-you-just-said.

0:36:52 > 0:36:55- Brian Pond, you are delicious. - I'm not a Pond.- Course you are.

0:36:55 > 0:36:59Sit down, both of you. Ship does all the engineering, the controls are straightforward,

0:36:59 > 0:37:02even a monkey could use them - oh, look - they're going to.

0:37:05 > 0:37:10Guys, come on, comedy gold. Where's a Silurian audience when you need one?

0:37:10 > 0:37:12Anyway, two eye-line screens - velocity and trajectory.

0:37:12 > 0:37:15Steer away from Earth, try not to bump into the moon

0:37:15 > 0:37:17otherwise the races who live there will be livid.

0:37:17 > 0:37:19- What?- Primary controls in the arms of the chairs,

0:37:19 > 0:37:23principle's the same as any vehicle. Eight minutes, 45 seconds.

0:37:26 > 0:37:28Get us as far away as you can.

0:37:28 > 0:37:31Right, phase two sorted.

0:37:31 > 0:37:33Now for phase one.

0:37:33 > 0:37:37- Phase two comes after phase one. - Humans, you're so linear. Shine a torch in here.

0:37:37 > 0:37:40- What're you doing? - Mixing my messages. How's the job?

0:37:40 > 0:37:43We're about to be hit by missiles and you're asking me that?

0:37:43 > 0:37:45I work best when I'm multi-tasking. Keep talking. How's the job?

0:37:45 > 0:37:48- I gave it up. - You gave the last one up.

0:37:48 > 0:37:51Yeah, well I can't settle. Every minute, I'm listening out

0:37:51 > 0:37:53- for that stupid TARDIS sound. - Right, so it's my fault, is it?!

0:37:53 > 0:37:57I can't not wait for you. Even now. And they're getting longer, The gaps between your visits.

0:37:57 > 0:38:00- Are they?- I think you're weaning us off you.- I'm not, I promise.

0:38:03 > 0:38:05Really promise. The others, they're not you.

0:38:05 > 0:38:08But you and Rory, you have lives. Each other.

0:38:08 > 0:38:10I thought that's what we agreed.

0:38:10 > 0:38:12I know. I just worry there'll come a time when you never turn up,

0:38:12 > 0:38:14that something will have happened to you

0:38:14 > 0:38:16and I'll still be waiting, never knowing.

0:38:16 > 0:38:19No! Come on, Pond.

0:38:19 > 0:38:22- You'll be there till the end of me. - Or vice versa.

0:38:29 > 0:38:32- SCREWDRIVER BEEPS - Done.

0:38:32 > 0:38:34Doctor? This is a two-man job.

0:38:36 > 0:38:38What're you doing?

0:38:38 > 0:38:41I'm easily worth two men. You can help too, if you like.

0:38:47 > 0:38:50- A-ha! - Doctor, what're you going to...?

0:38:50 > 0:38:52LOUD ELECTRICAL HUM

0:39:02 > 0:39:03Quickens the blood, doesn't it?

0:39:03 > 0:39:06The sooner this lot go back to being extinct, the better.

0:39:06 > 0:39:08You know what I want more than anything?

0:39:08 > 0:39:11- Lessons in gender politics? - A dinosaur tooth to take home.

0:39:14 > 0:39:17Dinosaurs ahead, lady at my side,

0:39:17 > 0:39:20about to be blown up. Not sure I've ever been happier.

0:39:20 > 0:39:22Shut up and shoot.

0:39:26 > 0:39:27Duck!

0:39:40 > 0:39:43I'm... I'm flying a spaceship.

0:39:43 > 0:39:45Rory! We're flying a spaceship!

0:39:45 > 0:39:46I know! Ha-ha!

0:39:51 > 0:39:53The ship's trajectory is changing...

0:39:53 > 0:39:57It makes no difference. The missiles have locked on.

0:39:57 > 0:39:58How long till target?

0:40:00 > 0:40:02Seven minutes.

0:40:04 > 0:40:08Go-o-o! That's it, that's it!

0:40:09 > 0:40:12That's it, that's it! Me, me, me, me! Yes, yes!

0:40:14 > 0:40:15This is better than golf.

0:40:19 > 0:40:21Hello! Having trouble leaving?

0:40:21 > 0:40:26BOTH: # Daisy, Daisy Give me your answer... #

0:40:26 > 0:40:29Ship's still magnetised, couldn't bear to lose you.

0:40:29 > 0:40:31Release my ship, Doctor,

0:40:31 > 0:40:34or I kill this precious little object

0:40:41 > 0:40:43I am not your possession now, nor will I ever be.

0:40:43 > 0:40:45Now stay there.

0:40:47 > 0:40:50Don't mess with Egyptian queens, Solomon.

0:40:51 > 0:40:55I hope you've learnt that now.

0:40:55 > 0:40:57- What're you doing?! - Disabling this ship's signal

0:40:57 > 0:41:00and replacing it with the one from the Silurian ship.

0:41:00 > 0:41:03I send this craft off emitting the signal they're looking for,

0:41:03 > 0:41:04the missiles will follow.

0:41:04 > 0:41:08Hopefully Silurian ship safe, dinosaurs safe, everybody safe.

0:41:08 > 0:41:12Bit tight for time though, shouldn't really be chatting. Neffy, let's go.

0:41:12 > 0:41:15How remiss of me, almost forgot - the thing about missiles,

0:41:15 > 0:41:19very literal, this is what they latch on to

0:41:19 > 0:41:22Now, one press on this and the ship's demagnetised.

0:41:22 > 0:41:25Doctor, whatever you want, I can get it for you,

0:41:25 > 0:41:28- whatever object you desire. - Did the Silurians beg you to stop?

0:41:32 > 0:41:35Look, Solomon. The missiles.

0:41:35 > 0:41:37See them shine. See how valuable they are.

0:41:37 > 0:41:39And they're all yours.

0:41:39 > 0:41:42You wouldn't leave me, Doctor...

0:41:42 > 0:41:44Enjoy your bounty.

0:41:47 > 0:41:49DOCTOR!

0:42:04 > 0:42:06DOCTOR!

0:42:17 > 0:42:19DINOSAURS WHIMPER

0:42:26 > 0:42:28So, dinosaur drop-off time.

0:42:28 > 0:42:31Actually, we think home for us.

0:42:33 > 0:42:36Oh. Fine. Of course.

0:42:36 > 0:42:38Not forever. Just a couple of months.

0:42:38 > 0:42:40Right, yes, I'm pretty busy anyway.

0:42:40 > 0:42:42I mean, I've got to drop everyone back

0:42:42 > 0:42:46About that. Can I ask a favour?

0:42:46 > 0:42:48There's something I want to see.

0:42:49 > 0:42:51Oh...

0:43:45 > 0:43:47MORE postcards from your Dad.

0:43:47 > 0:43:49Do you know what? I think it is the fitting.

0:44:12 > 0:44:17Our father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name.

0:44:17 > 0:44:18Thy kingdom come...

0:44:20 > 0:44:22..thy will be done.

0:44:22 > 0:44:25The gunslinger is a cyborg.

0:44:25 > 0:44:28Half man, half machine.

0:44:28 > 0:44:31- You're really letting him do this? - Save us all? Yeah, I really am.

0:44:37 > 0:44:40Can everyone who isn't an American drop your gun?

0:45:03 > 0:45:06Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd