The Caretaker

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0:00:07 > 0:00:10There's no way out of this. We're going to die here.

0:00:11 > 0:00:13Pass me the vibro-cutters.

0:00:13 > 0:00:14They're in my pocket.

0:00:14 > 0:00:16Come on then, pass them to me.

0:00:16 > 0:00:18In my other jacket. At home.

0:00:18 > 0:00:21Why have you got have two jackets - is one of them faulty?

0:00:21 > 0:00:23Look, I don't have the vibro-cutters. If I had the vibro-cutters,

0:00:23 > 0:00:26I wouldn't be able to pass you the vibro-cutters.

0:00:26 > 0:00:28We're going to starve to death out here.

0:00:28 > 0:00:29Of course we won't starve.

0:00:29 > 0:00:32The sand piranhas will get us long before that.

0:00:36 > 0:00:38Hiya. Sorry I'm late.

0:00:38 > 0:00:40You're not, but you are brown, you're very brown.

0:00:40 > 0:00:44- You weren't that brown this morning. - Sunbed. I'll get 'em in. Usual?

0:00:44 > 0:00:46Fish people.

0:00:46 > 0:00:47What are they like?

0:00:47 > 0:00:50Fish. And people. Come and see.

0:00:52 > 0:00:55- How's you? - Evening. Nice frock.

0:00:55 > 0:00:57- It's a bit wet. - Freak shower.

0:01:00 > 0:01:01Is that seaweed?

0:01:01 > 0:01:03I said freak.

0:01:06 > 0:01:10- How much further?- TARDIS has got to be round this corner.

0:01:10 > 0:01:14- I hate soldiers. Don't you hate soldiers?- Yeah.

0:01:14 > 0:01:15Just keep running!

0:01:17 > 0:01:20- Oh, yeah. Danny. Hiya. - Morning. Ready to run?

0:01:22 > 0:01:24OUT OF BREATH

0:01:27 > 0:01:31I can't keep doing this. I can't do it.

0:01:31 > 0:01:34Yes, I can, I can do it, of course I can do it.

0:01:36 > 0:01:38I've got it all under control.

0:01:39 > 0:01:41So, where we off to?

0:01:41 > 0:01:44Clara, you... You look lovely today. Have you had a wash?

0:01:47 > 0:01:50- Why are you being nice? - Because it works on you.

0:01:50 > 0:01:54Listen, I'm sorry but there's going to be no trip today.

0:01:54 > 0:01:57I'm sorry. Er, I've got to do a thing. It might take a while.

0:01:57 > 0:01:59- What thing?- Just a thing.

0:01:59 > 0:02:02You're being mysterious, and do you know what means?

0:02:02 > 0:02:04I'm a man of mystery.

0:02:04 > 0:02:06Hmm. It means that you are a very clever man

0:02:06 > 0:02:09making the mistake, common to very clever people,

0:02:09 > 0:02:12of assuming that everybody else is stupid.

0:02:12 > 0:02:13Where are you going?

0:02:13 > 0:02:15Undercover. Deep cover.

0:02:15 > 0:02:17- Can you do deep cover? - What do you mean?- Have you seen you?

0:02:17 > 0:02:18Of course I can do deep cover!

0:02:18 > 0:02:20SHE GIGGLES: Where? The Magic Circle?

0:02:22 > 0:02:24I'll see you when I see you.

0:02:24 > 0:02:25When's that?

0:02:26 > 0:02:28When I see you.

0:02:30 > 0:02:31Hmm...

0:02:35 > 0:02:38Hmm... I'll be sure to have a wash.

0:02:38 > 0:02:41Excellent. I was meaning to bring it up.

0:02:58 > 0:03:01You lot! Not here...over there.

0:03:03 > 0:03:05Morning, Mr Pink.

0:03:05 > 0:03:08Morning, Courtney. And good morning, Miss Oswald.

0:03:08 > 0:03:10Morning, Mr Pink.

0:03:10 > 0:03:12PUPILS GIGGLE

0:03:14 > 0:03:17- Do they know? - Possibly - they're children.

0:03:17 > 0:03:20It's like they've got minds of their own. Are you OK?

0:03:20 > 0:03:22Yeah, course I'm OK. Why wouldn't I be OK?

0:03:22 > 0:03:25- I dunno. Every time I see you, it's like you're...- What?

0:03:25 > 0:03:28In a rush. In a state.

0:03:28 > 0:03:29In a space helmet, one time.

0:03:29 > 0:03:32Sorry, er, I've had a...thing

0:03:32 > 0:03:35and, er, the thing's gone so I'm all yours.

0:03:35 > 0:03:36- What thing? What's gone?- Nothing.

0:03:36 > 0:03:40It's like you're trying to be mysterious.

0:03:40 > 0:03:41I'm not stupid, you know.

0:03:43 > 0:03:46The next few days are all about you. I promise.

0:03:46 > 0:03:50PUPILS GIGGLE

0:03:50 > 0:03:54Which means, Jo, you'll have to cover for 8/4M in L3.

0:03:54 > 0:03:57Hold on, there is just one more thing.

0:03:57 > 0:03:59Atif's off sick, so we've got a newbie,

0:03:59 > 0:04:00I did ask him to come along.

0:04:00 > 0:04:02- KNOCK AT DOOR - Ah, here he is.

0:04:07 > 0:04:10I'm the new caretaker. John Smith.

0:04:10 > 0:04:12Welcome to Coal Hill, Mr Smith.

0:04:12 > 0:04:15Thanks. Yes, John Smith's the name.

0:04:15 > 0:04:19But, you know, here's a thing, most people just call me the Doctor.

0:04:59 > 0:05:02So, if anybody needs me, just, you know, give me a shout.

0:05:02 > 0:05:05I'll be in the storeroom just getting the lie of the land.

0:05:05 > 0:05:08Yes, no-one's taking any notice at all.

0:05:08 > 0:05:12Absolutely good news because it means I must be coming across

0:05:12 > 0:05:16- just as an absolutely boring human being like you. - SHE MOUTHS

0:05:16 > 0:05:18Deep cover. Deep cover.

0:05:21 > 0:05:23- Do you know him?- Know who?

0:05:23 > 0:05:26- The caretaker, Smith. "The Doctor." - Never seen him before in my life.

0:05:26 > 0:05:29Bit intense looking. Did you see those eyebrows?

0:05:29 > 0:05:30Did he wink at you?

0:05:30 > 0:05:32No, I think that was just a sort of general wink.

0:05:32 > 0:05:35He winked at everybody. It was a general welcoming wink.

0:05:35 > 0:05:37Ah, I have, erm, left some marking.

0:05:37 > 0:05:40Assembly. Chop-chop. Off you pop. Catch you in a bit. Excuse me.

0:05:45 > 0:05:48- So, you recognised me, then. - You're wearing a different coat.

0:05:48 > 0:05:52- But you saw straight through that. - Deep cover in my school? Why?

0:05:52 > 0:05:54Where's Atif, what have you done with him?

0:05:54 > 0:05:56He's fine, hypnotised, he thinks he's got the 'flu.

0:05:56 > 0:06:00Also a flying car and three wives. It's going to be a rude awakening.

0:06:00 > 0:06:04Is it aliens? Oh, my God, is that why you're here? Are there aliens?

0:06:04 > 0:06:08- It's assembly, you better get going. Go and worship something. - Are there aliens in this school?

0:06:08 > 0:06:11Listen, it's lovely talking to you, but I've really got to get on.

0:06:11 > 0:06:15- I'm a caretaker now. Look, I've got a brush.- Doctor, is there an alien in this school?

0:06:15 > 0:06:17Yes. Me. Now, go.

0:06:17 > 0:06:20The walls need sponging and there's a sinister puddle.

0:06:20 > 0:06:21You can't do this.

0:06:21 > 0:06:25You cannot pass yourself off as a real person among actual people.

0:06:25 > 0:06:27I lived among otters once for a month.

0:06:27 > 0:06:30Well, I sulked. River and I, we had this big fight...

0:06:30 > 0:06:34- Human beings are not otters! - Exactly, it'll be even easier.

0:06:35 > 0:06:39One question. And you will answer this question.

0:06:42 > 0:06:43Are the kids safe?

0:06:43 > 0:06:46No. Nobody is safe.

0:06:46 > 0:06:49But soon the answer will be yes, everybody is safe,

0:06:49 > 0:06:53if you let me get on. Now...

0:06:53 > 0:06:56pretend you don't know me, stay out of my way.

0:06:56 > 0:06:59The less you know, the better. I'll explain it all later.

0:06:59 > 0:07:01- Go and sing with the otters. - I hate you.

0:07:01 > 0:07:04That's fine, that's a perfectly normal reaction.

0:07:09 > 0:07:11Basically, you've to get that guy on the block

0:07:11 > 0:07:13and stop that other one shooting him. It's so sick.

0:07:13 > 0:07:16I-I got that guy. That was, like, six months ago.

0:07:16 > 0:07:19- You actually have to flick it that way.- Nah, but I'm saying...

0:07:19 > 0:07:20You Coal Hill kids?

0:07:22 > 0:07:25- Yes, so what if we are? - Then get to Coal Hill.

0:07:25 > 0:07:27We've got a free period, mate.

0:07:27 > 0:07:29You want me to take your names?

0:07:29 > 0:07:30Come on.

0:07:33 > 0:07:34This is unfair, mate.

0:07:36 > 0:07:37RATTLING

0:07:37 > 0:07:39Always come in threes.

0:07:42 > 0:07:44Oi! I know you're in there.

0:07:55 > 0:07:58Hello? I'm a police officer.

0:08:04 > 0:08:06There's no point hiding.

0:08:09 > 0:08:10Do you hear me?

0:08:12 > 0:08:13Come on, kiddo.

0:08:13 > 0:08:18Five-stop-intruder. Five-stop-intruder.

0:08:18 > 0:08:20Turn your game off, it's time for school.

0:08:20 > 0:08:23Come on! Stop messing about!

0:08:25 > 0:08:28Problem-solution-DESTROY.

0:08:28 > 0:08:30HE SCREAMS

0:08:38 > 0:08:42..though unheard by Lydia, was caught by Elizabeth,

0:08:42 > 0:08:46and as it assured her that Darcy was...

0:08:48 > 0:08:52- You all right, Miss Oswald? - Yes, Kelvin, I'm fine, you carry on.

0:08:52 > 0:08:58Every feeling of displeasure against the former was so sharpened...

0:08:58 > 0:09:00Can I help you, Mr Smith?

0:09:00 > 0:09:03- Wrong.- I'm sorry?

0:09:03 > 0:09:07On the board. Wrong. Wrong.

0:09:07 > 0:09:10Oh, no, no, no, no. You don't do this.

0:09:10 > 0:09:13You are the caretaker, this is not what you do.

0:09:13 > 0:09:14- Just taking care.- Not your area!

0:09:14 > 0:09:18Jane Austen wrote Pride and Prejudice in 1796.

0:09:18 > 0:09:23SHE CLEARS THROAT This is Mr Smith, the temporary caretaker, and he's a bit confused.

0:09:23 > 0:09:27Not in 1797, because she didn't have the time. She was so busy...

0:09:27 > 0:09:29Oh, I suppose she was your bezzie mate, was she?

0:09:29 > 0:09:31And you went on holidays together

0:09:31 > 0:09:33and then you got kidnapped by Boggons from space

0:09:33 > 0:09:36and then you all formed a band and met Buddy Holly.

0:09:37 > 0:09:39No, I read the book. There's a bio at the back.

0:09:39 > 0:09:41PUPILS GIGGLE Get down.

0:09:43 > 0:09:44- Boggons?- Go!

0:09:46 > 0:09:49BELL RINGS

0:09:49 > 0:09:52Right, that's it. Well done, Kelvin. Get going.

0:09:52 > 0:09:54See you all in a couple of days. Thanks very much.

0:09:54 > 0:09:57Miss, what about our homework?

0:09:57 > 0:09:59Who asks for homework? Amateur.

0:10:06 > 0:10:09- Miss Oswald... - Hello, Tobias, can't really stop.

0:10:09 > 0:10:12I'm in the football team against Durrants on Thursday.

0:10:12 > 0:10:15Sorry, but can I go early from English Thursday afternoon?

0:10:15 > 0:10:17Tobias, you can do whatever you want.

0:10:17 > 0:10:20- Clara, can I grab a quick word? - Actually, I, erm...

0:10:20 > 0:10:23Two weeks Saturday, the fete, can I put you down for tombola

0:10:23 > 0:10:25and the raffle? James H can't cover it now.

0:10:25 > 0:10:28His wife's going into hospital. Hip replacement. Constant agony.

0:10:28 > 0:10:29Great.

0:10:29 > 0:10:33No, awful. That's terrible. Awful. I hope she'll be OK.

0:10:33 > 0:10:35Erm, I'll do anything. Anything. OK. Bye.

0:10:39 > 0:10:42Miss Oswald, Katie Sharps says I pulled her hair in Biology.

0:10:42 > 0:10:44Courtney, you are big enough to look after yourself.

0:10:44 > 0:10:47Next class, jog on, I need to talk to Mr Pink.

0:10:47 > 0:10:49- Ozzie loves the Squaddie. - What was that?- Nothing.

0:10:49 > 0:10:51Of course, Danny Pink here is your man, Mr Smith.

0:10:51 > 0:10:54Five years' military experience, sergeant, here and Afghan,

0:10:54 > 0:10:57so electrics, boilers, if you need a hand, give him a shout.

0:10:57 > 0:11:00I-I've helped Atif with a couple of things.

0:11:00 > 0:11:03I'm sure I won't need you, Sergeant. Fully qualified.

0:11:05 > 0:11:08- You best get back to your PE class. - Oh, I teach maths.

0:11:08 > 0:11:11- Do you? What, in emergencies? - No. I'm a maths teacher.

0:11:11 > 0:11:12Yeah, he's a maths teacher...

0:11:12 > 0:11:14- GLASS SMASHES - Mohammed, put that down!

0:11:14 > 0:11:17How does that work? What if the kids have questions?

0:11:17 > 0:11:20- About what?- Maths. - I answer them. I'm a maths teacher.

0:11:20 > 0:11:21But he said you were a soldier.

0:11:21 > 0:11:24Yeah. I was a soldier, now I'm a maths teacher.

0:11:24 > 0:11:26But what about all the PE?

0:11:26 > 0:11:28I don't teach PE. I'm not a PE teacher.

0:11:28 > 0:11:30Sorry, that seems very unlikely.

0:11:30 > 0:11:35Er, excuse me. Mr Pink, I think class 9M4 are waiting.

0:11:35 > 0:11:37Yes, you better run along, Sergeant.

0:11:37 > 0:11:39That ball isn't going to kick itself, is it?

0:11:39 > 0:11:41I-I'm not a PE teacher, I'm a maths teacher.

0:11:43 > 0:11:45Nope, sorry, no, I can't retain that.

0:11:45 > 0:11:47I've tried, it's just not going in.

0:11:55 > 0:11:58So...Pink. The name remind you of anything?

0:11:58 > 0:12:00Yeah. The colour.

0:12:01 > 0:12:02Colonel Orson Pink?

0:12:02 > 0:12:05The guy we met at the end of the universe.

0:12:05 > 0:12:09Oh, yeah. OK, same name, doesn't look anything like him though.

0:12:09 > 0:12:10Looks very like him.

0:12:10 > 0:12:13Does he? I don't know. Who remembers a PE teacher?

0:12:13 > 0:12:14Never mind.

0:12:15 > 0:12:17What are you doing? What...? What's in there?

0:12:17 > 0:12:20So...is he here then?

0:12:20 > 0:12:21Is who here?

0:12:21 > 0:12:24The one you keep going on serious dates with.

0:12:24 > 0:12:27If he is, are you going to start talking like a normal human being?

0:12:27 > 0:12:29- I promise I won't. I'm being nice. - Doctor...?

0:12:29 > 0:12:32- Clara. Got this period free, yes? - No. Yes.

0:12:32 > 0:12:34- Great. Shakespeare. - Sorry, what, Adrian?

0:12:36 > 0:12:39Oh...I see.

0:12:40 > 0:12:44- You see what? - Nothing. Nothing at all.

0:12:44 > 0:12:46Excuse me. We have to talk about The Tempest,

0:12:46 > 0:12:49in light of the changes to the sixth form Shakespeare module, blah-de-blah...

0:12:49 > 0:12:51Yes. Sorry, of course.

0:12:53 > 0:12:55Yes, yes, no, of course, of course, yes.

0:12:55 > 0:13:00Don't mind this old man. You two kids just pop off together.

0:13:00 > 0:13:02Why are you talking like an idiot?

0:13:02 > 0:13:04I'm a caretaker, don't mind me.

0:13:06 > 0:13:08What we have to get across, I feel,

0:13:08 > 0:13:13is that fascinating enigma of its...not-finishedness.

0:13:13 > 0:13:15Mmm, yes, good point, Ade.

0:13:18 > 0:13:19Oh, Clara.

0:13:33 > 0:13:37What does that mean? Kids. What's the matter with kids today?

0:13:48 > 0:13:50Hey, I said you could play chess,

0:13:50 > 0:13:52I did not say you could play football on the chessboard.

0:13:52 > 0:13:55Jack, Morgan, come on, help me out, clear it up.

0:13:55 > 0:13:58HE WHISTLES TO HIMSELF

0:14:05 > 0:14:08And one for luck.

0:14:11 > 0:14:14OK. Now we're in business.

0:14:14 > 0:14:18Let's see the lie of the land. Time to see what's going on.

0:14:22 > 0:14:23Hello?

0:14:24 > 0:14:26Oi.

0:14:27 > 0:14:29What are you doing? Are you in there?

0:14:29 > 0:14:31Mirror, mirror on the wall,

0:14:31 > 0:14:34who's the most dangerous of them all?

0:14:34 > 0:14:38There's been a spillage in Geography, I need some paper towels.

0:14:38 > 0:14:39Can't you read?

0:14:39 > 0:14:41Course I can read. Read what?

0:14:41 > 0:14:44The door. It says, "Keep Out."

0:14:44 > 0:14:45No, it says, "Go Away Humans."

0:14:47 > 0:14:48Oh, so it does.

0:14:48 > 0:14:50Never lose your temper in the middle of a door sign.

0:14:50 > 0:14:52What was you doing in there? What's that box?

0:14:52 > 0:14:57A caretaker's box. Every caretaker has their own box.

0:14:57 > 0:14:58It says, "Police".

0:14:58 > 0:15:01Exactly, there's a policeman in there, in case of emergencies

0:15:01 > 0:15:02and children.

0:15:02 > 0:15:04- Towels, there, g-g-go. - What was that green glow?

0:15:04 > 0:15:07There was a green glow coming from in there.

0:15:07 > 0:15:08- What was it?- Of course there was.

0:15:08 > 0:15:11- What's a policeman without a death ray? - BELL RINGS

0:15:11 > 0:15:13Oh, listen, there's the bell, off you go.

0:15:13 > 0:15:16- Haven't you got shoplifting to do? - I'm going to tell the Headmaster.

0:15:16 > 0:15:19Oh, yes, well, fine. Cut along, you're running out of time.

0:15:19 > 0:15:23- For what?- Everything. Human beings have incredibly short life spans.

0:15:23 > 0:15:26Frankly, you should all be in a permanent state of panic.

0:15:26 > 0:15:29- Tick tock, tick tock. - You're weird.

0:15:29 > 0:15:31Yes, I am. What about you?

0:15:31 > 0:15:32I'm a disruptive influence.

0:15:34 > 0:15:36- Good to meet you.- And you(!)

0:15:36 > 0:15:38- Now get lost.- OK.

0:15:40 > 0:15:43Hello, miss, love to the Squaddie.

0:15:43 > 0:15:46Sorry, what did you say?

0:15:46 > 0:15:47What was she doing in here?

0:15:47 > 0:15:51Paper towels. Now, I imagine you've many questions.

0:15:51 > 0:15:53Fire away, I won't answer any of them.

0:15:53 > 0:15:56- What were they like?- What were who like?- The others before me.

0:15:56 > 0:15:59Did they let you get away with this kind of thing?

0:15:59 > 0:16:02- This school is in danger. - Well, it's lucky I'm here then.

0:16:02 > 0:16:05- From you.- Me?- You wouldn't be here if there wasn't an alien threat nearby.

0:16:05 > 0:16:08Your strategy for dealing with it involves endangering this school.

0:16:08 > 0:16:12- You don't know that. - I don't know anything because you haven't told me anything,

0:16:12 > 0:16:16which means I wouldn't approve, which means you are endangering this school.

0:16:19 > 0:16:21What's that?

0:16:21 > 0:16:23It's a scanner. I'm scanning. Why do I keep you around?

0:16:23 > 0:16:27Because the alternative would be developing a conscience of your own. Scanning for what?

0:16:27 > 0:16:30Any alien technology in this vicinity should show up.

0:16:30 > 0:16:33I used to have a teacher exactly like you once.

0:16:33 > 0:16:35You still do. Pay attention.

0:16:37 > 0:16:38What the hell is it?!

0:16:38 > 0:16:41A Skovox Blitzer,

0:16:41 > 0:16:44one of the deadliest killing machines ever created.

0:16:44 > 0:16:46Probably homed in here because of artron emissions.

0:16:46 > 0:16:49You've had enough of them in this area over the years.

0:16:49 > 0:16:52There's enough explosive in its armoury to take out the whole planet.

0:16:54 > 0:16:56Then leave it alone.

0:16:56 > 0:16:59Sooner or later it will creep from its hidey-hole

0:16:59 > 0:17:03and some military idiot will try to attack it.

0:17:03 > 0:17:05The world is full of PE teachers.

0:17:08 > 0:17:14So, your insanely dangerous plan is?

0:17:14 > 0:17:16A new watch. Tiny bit disappointed.

0:17:16 > 0:17:18This is a very special watch.

0:17:25 > 0:17:26Doctor?

0:17:27 > 0:17:31Oi! Did you just flick my nose?

0:17:34 > 0:17:37You're invisible. Oh, my God, that's incredible!

0:17:37 > 0:17:40Correct. I am invisible and I am incredible.

0:17:40 > 0:17:44- It's simply a matter of reversing light waves. Hang on, I'm coming back.- All right, where are you?

0:17:44 > 0:17:48So, I give the Blitzer a tiny whiff of non-threatening alien tech,

0:17:48 > 0:17:51I lead it back here, but I don't want it to scan me, hence invisible.

0:17:51 > 0:17:55So you're leading the thing here? To a school? My school?

0:17:55 > 0:17:57"MY school"? Oh, that is telling.

0:17:57 > 0:17:59This is the only suitably empty place in the area.

0:17:59 > 0:18:02I've set up a circle of time mines around the school.

0:18:02 > 0:18:06Chronodyne generators. Bit unstable.

0:18:06 > 0:18:09I switch them on, the Blitzer gets sucked into a big old time vortex,

0:18:09 > 0:18:12billions of years into the future. Dead easy. Tiny bit boring.

0:18:12 > 0:18:15- I'll need a book and a sandwich. - And me. You're not doing this alone.

0:18:15 > 0:18:18I don't need you this time. I'll see you tomorrow.

0:18:18 > 0:18:23We'll go somewhere nice. Ancient Egypt. Crocodilopolis.

0:18:23 > 0:18:26They worship a big crocodile there, so the name is a useful coincidence.

0:18:26 > 0:18:28Go and canoodle with your boyfriend.

0:18:33 > 0:18:37Come on. I wasn't born yesterday, far from it.

0:18:37 > 0:18:38You did recognise him.

0:18:38 > 0:18:42Possibly reminded me of a certain dashing young time traveller.

0:18:42 > 0:18:45Of course you recognised him.

0:18:45 > 0:18:49Sorry. Stupid. I-I underestimated you.

0:18:49 > 0:18:53- Easily done, there's a lot to estimate.- And you, you like him?

0:18:53 > 0:18:57Yes, I like him. Very, very much.

0:18:57 > 0:19:00Go home and canoodle. Doctor's orders. Come on.

0:19:01 > 0:19:06- Just this once, I'm doing what I'm told.- Oh, sing hosanna.

0:19:06 > 0:19:08SHE SIGHS WITH RELIEF So easy.

0:19:18 > 0:19:20Miss Oswald.

0:19:20 > 0:19:23- Ah, Mr... Mr Pink. - Still on for tonight?

0:19:23 > 0:19:26Cos you had your "I'm about to cancel" frown on.

0:19:26 > 0:19:28There's a specific frown?

0:19:28 > 0:19:31And I was going to say, it's OK, I might have a thing, so ...

0:19:31 > 0:19:32A thing?

0:19:35 > 0:19:39- Tomorrow instead? - Tomorrow's parents' evening.

0:19:39 > 0:19:41Not all evening.

0:19:41 > 0:19:42No. Not all evening.

0:19:44 > 0:19:46What do you think of him?

0:19:46 > 0:19:49Er, who? The caretaker?

0:19:49 > 0:19:52Where did he come from? What was he before?

0:19:52 > 0:19:54He doesn't seem like a caretaker.

0:19:54 > 0:19:56Well, he speaks very highly of you.

0:20:01 > 0:20:04Anyway. Good night, Miss Oswald.

0:20:06 > 0:20:08Good night...Mr Pink.

0:20:18 > 0:20:19And we're off.

0:20:48 > 0:20:49Home, sweet home.

0:20:53 > 0:20:55Canoodling cancelled, if you need a hand...

0:20:58 > 0:21:00Doctor?

0:21:00 > 0:21:02You invisible?

0:21:04 > 0:21:06I am so going to confiscate that watch.

0:21:06 > 0:21:09Where are you, my sleeping beauty?

0:21:18 > 0:21:20Gotcha! Let's dance!

0:21:22 > 0:21:24Doctor?

0:21:24 > 0:21:26Where are you?

0:21:29 > 0:21:30Hello?

0:21:38 > 0:21:39Nine-stop-query-rescan.

0:21:39 > 0:21:42Target-reacquired-success-success.

0:21:44 > 0:21:45Come on, come on.

0:21:45 > 0:21:47Gangway!

0:21:50 > 0:21:52Not far now. Come on.

0:21:53 > 0:21:56Nine-stop-parsing-data-pursue.

0:21:56 > 0:21:57Bingo.

0:22:00 > 0:22:01Target-reacquired.

0:22:04 > 0:22:05Hello?

0:22:11 > 0:22:16What? Red? Red. No. No-no-no!

0:22:16 > 0:22:20Range-one-point-four-nine-scan complete-problem-problem.

0:22:20 > 0:22:25Listen. I'm unarmed. I'm peaceful. Do you understand?

0:22:25 > 0:22:27I-I know that you shouldn't be on this planet

0:22:27 > 0:22:29but I can help you with that. I...

0:22:29 > 0:22:31Problem-solution-DESTROY.

0:22:31 > 0:22:32I want a word with you.

0:22:32 > 0:22:35- Get back! - Problem-solution-DESTROY.

0:22:39 > 0:22:40Get away from me!

0:22:46 > 0:22:48Temporal-disrupt.

0:22:48 > 0:22:53Warning-warning. Temporal-failure.

0:22:53 > 0:22:55Doctor, stop!

0:22:55 > 0:22:57Doctor!

0:22:57 > 0:23:00Warning-system-failure. Abort. Abort.

0:23:10 > 0:23:15Oh, oh, well done, PE, brilliant work(!)

0:23:17 > 0:23:19"What's this? A chronodyne generator?

0:23:19 > 0:23:22"I'll just deactivate that, shall I?

0:23:22 > 0:23:24"I've got a swimming certificate so that qualifies me

0:23:24 > 0:23:26"to meddle with higher technology.

0:23:26 > 0:23:29"Never mind that some people are actually trying to save the planet.

0:23:29 > 0:23:34"Oh, no. There's only room in my head for cross-country and the offside rule."

0:23:34 > 0:23:37- Danny, what are you doing here? - I was checking up on him.

0:23:37 > 0:23:40He's been up to something, fiddling with the electric, but what the...?!

0:23:42 > 0:23:44No. What...?

0:23:45 > 0:23:48Did you see that thing? Tell me you saw that thing.

0:23:48 > 0:23:51I saw the thing, yeah. Doctor, are we safe, is the planet safe? It's gone?

0:23:51 > 0:23:54Yes, yes, yes, yes, for the moment. But the thing is, you see,

0:23:54 > 0:23:58the chronodyne generators have to be precisely aligned to generate the vortex,

0:23:58 > 0:24:00but the sergeant here, he went and moved one.

0:24:00 > 0:24:02But the chronodyne worked, it's gone.

0:24:05 > 0:24:06But not far enough.

0:24:06 > 0:24:10The vortex will open here again, but not in a billion years.

0:24:10 > 0:24:12Then when?

0:24:12 > 0:24:14Er, 74 hours. Three days.

0:24:14 > 0:24:19Three days to think of something new because now it knows what to expect,

0:24:19 > 0:24:26now it's scanned me and will kill me on sight, thanks to PE here.

0:24:28 > 0:24:31Clara, why are you talking to him like that?

0:24:31 > 0:24:35Why are you using words like chronodyne?

0:24:35 > 0:24:38Was that thing a space thing?

0:24:42 > 0:24:45Oh, my God, you're from space.

0:24:48 > 0:24:51You're a spacewoman. You said you were from Blackpool.

0:24:54 > 0:24:57It's a play! For the summer fete.

0:24:57 > 0:25:00- It's a what?- Yes, it's a play. Shut up, it is a play.

0:25:00 > 0:25:05We are rehearsing a play. Sh! Sh! Sh! A surprise play!

0:25:05 > 0:25:08And, erm, you see, the vortex thing is-is a lighting effect.

0:25:08 > 0:25:09Very clever.

0:25:09 > 0:25:14And that thing is-is one of the kids. In fancy dress.

0:25:14 > 0:25:19Really...really good fancy dress.

0:25:19 > 0:25:20How stupid do you think I am?

0:25:20 > 0:25:22I'm willing to put a number on it.

0:25:22 > 0:25:24I'm not a moron, Clara.

0:25:25 > 0:25:27And he's not the caretaker.

0:25:28 > 0:25:31He's...your dad.

0:25:31 > 0:25:34Your space dad.

0:25:34 > 0:25:37Oh...genius.

0:25:37 > 0:25:41That is really, really brilliant reasoning.

0:25:41 > 0:25:44How can you think I'm her dad when we both look exactly the same age?

0:25:44 > 0:25:46- We do not look the same age. - I was being kind.

0:25:46 > 0:25:49- Right, I'll hypnotise him, I'll erase his memory.- Doctor, stop!

0:25:49 > 0:25:51- Tiny brain, won't take a moment. - He's my boyfriend.

0:25:51 > 0:25:54Well, I'll try not to erase the whole thing. I'll leave the bits that...

0:25:54 > 0:25:58He's my boyfriend. I thought you'd figured this out.

0:25:58 > 0:26:00- Him?- Yes, him. - No, he's not.

0:26:00 > 0:26:04- Yes, he is.- Yes, I am. - But he's a PE teacher.

0:26:04 > 0:26:06You wouldn't go out with a PE teacher.

0:26:06 > 0:26:08It's a mistake. You've made a boyfriend error.

0:26:08 > 0:26:11I am not a PE teacher. I am a maths teacher!

0:26:11 > 0:26:13You're a soldier. Why would you go out with a soldier?

0:26:13 > 0:26:16- Why not get a dog or a big plant? - Because I love him!

0:26:24 > 0:26:27Why would you say that? Is this part of the surprise play?

0:26:27 > 0:26:30SHE SIGHS There is no surprise play.

0:26:30 > 0:26:33Oh, it's a roller coaster with you tonight, isn't it?

0:26:33 > 0:26:35What about the handsome one with the bow tie?

0:26:35 > 0:26:37Adrian? No. He's just a friend and not my type.

0:26:37 > 0:26:40Clara, are you going to explain any of this?

0:26:40 > 0:26:42Who is this guy?

0:26:44 > 0:26:46The Doctor is...

0:26:49 > 0:26:54- Go on.- Yes, explain. Who is he? Why have you never mentioned him?

0:26:54 > 0:26:58Because...he's an alien.

0:27:00 > 0:27:03- Are you an alien? - No-no-no, I'm still from Blackpool.

0:27:05 > 0:27:08Me and the Doctor, we travel through time and space.

0:27:08 > 0:27:11Exhibit A.

0:27:11 > 0:27:17It's called a TARDIS, but it's disguised as an old police phone box.

0:27:17 > 0:27:18(It's bigger on the inside.)

0:27:18 > 0:27:21And it's bigger on the inside than the outside.

0:27:22 > 0:27:24Voila.

0:27:25 > 0:27:28And we travel the universe in it.

0:27:44 > 0:27:46What about that thing? Did you bring that here?

0:27:46 > 0:27:49No, I'm going to protect you from that thing.

0:27:49 > 0:27:51You said it was coming back.

0:27:51 > 0:27:54Yes, it is coming back. Thanks to you.

0:27:54 > 0:27:57This is a school. We have to evacuate, call the Army.

0:27:57 > 0:28:00And that is the most dangerous thing right there.

0:28:00 > 0:28:04- Are you sure hypnotising is not on the menu?- Yes.

0:28:04 > 0:28:06We need to get help. This is an emergency.

0:28:06 > 0:28:11Take him away, shut him up, shut him down, up or down, it doesn't matter to me.

0:28:11 > 0:28:14- I've got a lot of work to do. Again. - Will you be OK?

0:28:14 > 0:28:18Why wouldn't I be OK? I was fine till you two blundered in.

0:28:18 > 0:28:20Am I just being ignored?

0:28:20 > 0:28:23Come on, Danny. It's all right, it's all fine.

0:28:23 > 0:28:27You'll be OK. Let's get those legs moving...

0:28:27 > 0:28:30that's it, down those stairs. Yep, that's it.

0:28:30 > 0:28:33This can all be explained and everything will be fine.

0:28:33 > 0:28:37And when this is all over, you can finish the job.

0:28:37 > 0:28:38How do you mean?

0:28:38 > 0:28:43Well, you've explained me to him. You haven't explained him to me.

0:28:55 > 0:28:56What do you think?

0:29:02 > 0:29:03Say something.

0:29:07 > 0:29:13So...there's an alien, who used to look like Adrian.

0:29:16 > 0:29:18Then he turned into a Scottish caretaker

0:29:18 > 0:29:21and every now and then, when I'm not looking, you elope with him.

0:29:21 > 0:29:26- I don't elope. - Do you love him?- No.

0:29:26 > 0:29:28Really had enough of the lies.

0:29:29 > 0:29:32- Not in that way. - What other way is there?

0:29:32 > 0:29:34- You know what I mean. - I don't know what you mean.

0:29:34 > 0:29:37I know what you tell me, which isn't always the truth.

0:29:40 > 0:29:42- Danny...- Why do you do it?

0:29:44 > 0:29:46Why do you fly off in the box with him?

0:29:48 > 0:29:50The truth, please, just this once.

0:29:55 > 0:29:59Because...it's amazing.

0:30:02 > 0:30:05Because...I see wonders.

0:30:07 > 0:30:08OK.

0:30:17 > 0:30:18What are you thinking?

0:30:20 > 0:30:21That's a good question.

0:30:24 > 0:30:27It's funny, you only really know what someone thinks of you,

0:30:27 > 0:30:29when you know what lies they've told you.

0:30:30 > 0:30:36You say you've seen wonders, you've seen amazing things,

0:30:36 > 0:30:38and you kept them secret.

0:30:40 > 0:30:41From me.

0:30:43 > 0:30:45So, what do you think of me, Clara?

0:30:47 > 0:30:51- Please, tell me how I fix this. - I just want to know who you are.

0:30:51 > 0:30:52You know who I am.

0:30:54 > 0:30:58When you're with him. When you're with the Doctor.

0:31:10 > 0:31:13OK, I think we've just got time before parents' evening.

0:31:13 > 0:31:15An invisibility watch? Not even a ring.

0:31:15 > 0:31:17Press the button on the side, you're invisible.

0:31:17 > 0:31:20You'll see me with the Doctor, the other me.

0:31:20 > 0:31:23The exactly the same other me. OK?

0:31:30 > 0:31:33Afternoon. Thanks for keeping out of my way.

0:31:34 > 0:31:37You've not brought Dave with you, I hope.

0:31:37 > 0:31:40His name's Danny. And no, I haven't.

0:31:42 > 0:31:45I've explained it all to him. He gets it, he took it all really well.

0:31:45 > 0:31:46Pass me that synestic.

0:31:51 > 0:31:55So, when the Blitzer comes back, are you going to catch him with that?

0:31:55 > 0:31:58It'll be a long, fiddly job. It's going to take me at least 24 hours.

0:31:58 > 0:32:01Even longer if people keep talking to me, so do keep going.

0:32:01 > 0:32:04If it comes back Thursday night, are you sure about that? Cos you said chronodyne is unstable.

0:32:04 > 0:32:07If you want bother someone, go and bother PE.

0:32:08 > 0:32:10He's a maths teacher.

0:32:11 > 0:32:13- That's a shame, I like maths. - Not a soldier.

0:32:20 > 0:32:21Interesting.

0:32:22 > 0:32:24What is?

0:32:24 > 0:32:26I'm bored.

0:32:26 > 0:32:28Let's go somewhere fun, what do you say?

0:32:28 > 0:32:31Do you want to see the Thames frozen over? Oh, those frost fairs.

0:32:31 > 0:32:33You can't. The Skovox thing.

0:32:33 > 0:32:36It's a time machine. We can get back straightaway, like we always do on your dates.

0:32:36 > 0:32:39Just make sure you don't get yourself a tan or anything, or lose a limb.

0:32:39 > 0:32:41I don't think we should, not this time.

0:32:41 > 0:32:44You've never said no before. Not even in the middle of dinner.

0:32:44 > 0:32:45Remember you had to eat two meals in a row?

0:32:45 > 0:32:49I just think, with the school in danger...

0:32:49 > 0:32:52- Danny! Why are you...? - He already knows I'm here.

0:32:52 > 0:32:55That's why he's talking like that. He's being clever.

0:32:55 > 0:32:57Now you mention it, being a Time Lord,

0:32:57 > 0:33:00I can feel a light-shield aura when it's right next to me.

0:33:00 > 0:33:03"Time Lord"! Might have known.

0:33:03 > 0:33:05Might have known WHAT?

0:33:05 > 0:33:08The accent's good, but you can always spot the aristocracy.

0:33:08 > 0:33:11- It's in the...attitude.- Danny...

0:33:11 > 0:33:13Now, Time Lords, do you salute those?

0:33:13 > 0:33:16- Definitely not.- Sir!

0:33:16 > 0:33:18And you do not call me sir.

0:33:18 > 0:33:20As you wish, sir. Absolutely, sir.

0:33:20 > 0:33:23- And you can get out of my TARDIS! - Immediately, sir.

0:33:23 > 0:33:25Doctor, this is stupid, this is unfair!

0:33:25 > 0:33:30One thing, Clara. I'm a soldier, guilty as charged. You see him?

0:33:30 > 0:33:32- He's an officer. - I am not an officer!

0:33:32 > 0:33:34I'm the one who carries you out of the fire.

0:33:34 > 0:33:36- He's the one who lights it. - Out. Now.

0:33:36 > 0:33:40- Right away, sir? Straight now?- Yes. - Am I dismissed?- Yes, you are!

0:33:41 > 0:33:45That's him. Look at him, right now.

0:33:45 > 0:33:46That's who he is.

0:33:52 > 0:33:55On balance, I think that went quite well.

0:34:04 > 0:34:08Danny...it's not time to go home yet. It's parents' evening.

0:34:12 > 0:34:14Humans.

0:34:14 > 0:34:16I never learn.

0:34:16 > 0:34:17What's in the box?

0:34:20 > 0:34:22It's not really a policeman, is it?

0:34:25 > 0:34:29You want to know what's in that box? I'll tell you what's in that box.

0:34:30 > 0:34:34It's a time machine, it also travels in space,

0:34:34 > 0:34:38and it usually contains a man who just wants to get on with his work

0:34:38 > 0:34:40of preventing the end of the world,

0:34:40 > 0:34:44but keeps being interrupted by boring little humans.

0:34:44 > 0:34:47Cool. So, that's really a spaceship?

0:34:49 > 0:34:51I'm serious, I'm trying to save this planet.

0:34:51 > 0:34:54End of the world for me tonight, whatever you do. Parents' evening.

0:34:54 > 0:34:57Is your name really Disruptive Influence?

0:34:57 > 0:35:00Courtney Woods. Can I go in space?

0:35:00 > 0:35:03I'll let you know. I may have a vacancy.

0:35:03 > 0:35:04But not right now.

0:35:08 > 0:35:11Two days? I can do it.

0:35:17 > 0:35:22Right, are we quorate? Time to admit the hordes.

0:35:22 > 0:35:24And look who's at the front of the queue.

0:35:24 > 0:35:26- Who are they? - Courtney Woods' mum and dad.

0:35:26 > 0:35:32- Can someone else do them first? - No problem, Ade. I can cope with anything tonight.- Oh, happy days(!)

0:35:58 > 0:36:00BEEPING

0:36:06 > 0:36:10No, no, no. No, no, no, no!

0:36:10 > 0:36:14I would say yes, I'm afraid Courtney is a disruptive influence.

0:36:14 > 0:36:17Yeah, but last year you said she was a VERY disruptive influence.

0:36:17 > 0:36:20So, I suppose that counts as an improvement.

0:36:24 > 0:36:26HE CLEARS HIS THROAT LOUDLY

0:36:28 > 0:36:31Excuse me, I think the caretaker wants me.

0:36:31 > 0:36:34Sorry, Mrs Christodolou, I think the caretaker wants me too.

0:36:34 > 0:36:36What about my Angelina?

0:36:36 > 0:36:38Yeah, she's great, yeah, a really great girl, A-plus,

0:36:38 > 0:36:41ten out of ten, top of the class. Sorry.

0:36:41 > 0:36:44Although, actually, handwriting could be better.

0:36:49 > 0:36:51I'm sure they'll be back in a moment.

0:36:51 > 0:36:53Looks like our Courtney was right about those two.

0:36:53 > 0:36:56- What's happening? - Clara, the vortex is opening.

0:36:56 > 0:37:00- You said Thursday night. Hall, quick.- PE, shut up.

0:37:00 > 0:37:02Clara, it'll scan the area,

0:37:02 > 0:37:04if it gets to parents' evening, it'll kill them all.

0:37:04 > 0:37:06- We've got to evacuate. - SHUT UP!

0:37:06 > 0:37:08Quickly. What do I do?

0:37:09 > 0:37:12It'll be here any second. Get to the hall.

0:37:12 > 0:37:15Give it some squirts of helicon energy, setting number 41,

0:37:15 > 0:37:17no more than three seconds each, random pulses.

0:37:17 > 0:37:20Distract it, then you lead it away from the hall, give me two minutes.

0:37:20 > 0:37:22- Then what? - Just run straight to the TARDIS.

0:37:22 > 0:37:24But your gadget isn't ready yet. 24 hours, you said.

0:37:24 > 0:37:28Yes, well, I've revised that down to two minutes. Probably. Clara, go.

0:37:28 > 0:37:30- On my way. - You're using her like a decoy?

0:37:30 > 0:37:32No, not like a decoy. As a decoy.

0:37:32 > 0:37:35Don't they teach you anything at stupid school?

0:37:35 > 0:37:37Well, is there anything I can do?

0:37:37 > 0:37:39Yes, yes, and this is very, very important.

0:37:39 > 0:37:40Leave us alone!

0:37:45 > 0:37:49Disrupt-temporal-lock. Disengaged-scan.

0:37:49 > 0:37:50Here we go.

0:37:54 > 0:37:59Incoming-stop-identified-HELICON- HELICON-commence-retargeting.

0:38:03 > 0:38:05Target-acquired. Destroy.

0:38:11 > 0:38:13Target-within-range.

0:38:15 > 0:38:19Problem-solution-DESTROY.

0:38:21 > 0:38:24- DESTROY. - Doctor, now, it's got to be now!

0:38:24 > 0:38:27- 20 seconds. - DESTROY. DESTROY.

0:38:27 > 0:38:28Doctor!

0:38:35 > 0:38:39- I'm at green, I'm at green. - You're green!- Stop! Skovox Blitzer!

0:38:39 > 0:38:40Awaiting-orders.

0:38:40 > 0:38:44Skovox-Artificer. Analyse-stop-analyse-stop.

0:38:44 > 0:38:49Superior-recognised-pattern- 110-orders-orders.

0:38:49 > 0:38:51Why's it listening to you?

0:38:51 > 0:38:54Listening to its superior. This is a rough copy.

0:38:54 > 0:38:55It thinks I'm its general.

0:38:55 > 0:38:58Initiate-input. Commence-shutdown-protocol.

0:38:58 > 0:39:00No-conflict-conclusion?

0:39:00 > 0:39:02Problem-solution.

0:39:04 > 0:39:05Conclusion.

0:39:05 > 0:39:07Final-input-code-missing. Emergency-terminate.

0:39:07 > 0:39:10Initiate-self-destruct- in...nine...eight...

0:39:10 > 0:39:13- The input code. I forgot the final input code.- ..seven-six-five...

0:39:13 > 0:39:16- Do it now! - I need time. Distract it, Clara!

0:39:16 > 0:39:18Me, what can I do?

0:39:18 > 0:39:20Oi, Skovox, over here.

0:39:22 > 0:39:23Under-attack.

0:39:29 > 0:39:35Artificer-Artificer-stop-confirm- stop-override-final-input-code.

0:39:35 > 0:39:37Code-accepted. Abort-self-destruct.

0:39:39 > 0:39:42Orders-accepted-stop-stop-stop.

0:39:44 > 0:39:47Oh, my God! Oh, my God, you were amazing!

0:39:47 > 0:39:49Oh, my God, you were so brilliant.

0:39:49 > 0:39:51Well, yeah, I was OK, wasn't I?

0:39:52 > 0:39:55I was behind you every step of the way.

0:39:55 > 0:39:57Had to make sure you were safe.

0:39:58 > 0:39:59You OK?

0:40:01 > 0:40:02OK.

0:40:04 > 0:40:05Just "OK"?

0:40:06 > 0:40:08It's all right, it doesn't matter.

0:40:08 > 0:40:10I don't need him to like me.

0:40:10 > 0:40:13It doesn't matter if he likes me or hates me.

0:40:13 > 0:40:16I just need to do exactly one thing for you.

0:40:16 > 0:40:19Doctor, am I right?

0:40:22 > 0:40:23Yes.

0:40:23 > 0:40:25What? What one thing?

0:40:26 > 0:40:28I need to be good enough for you.

0:40:28 > 0:40:32That's why he's angry. Just in case I'm not.

0:40:38 > 0:40:41He, er... He did just save the whole world.

0:40:43 > 0:40:45Yeah, yeah.

0:40:47 > 0:40:48Good start.

0:40:53 > 0:40:56Farewell, Skovox Blitzer. Have a nice war.

0:40:56 > 0:40:59So, Courtney Woods, impressed yet?

0:41:00 > 0:41:03Actually, I'm feeling a bit ill.

0:41:03 > 0:41:06Ah, it can be a bit overwhelming.

0:41:06 > 0:41:10But look - the Olveron Cluster.

0:41:10 > 0:41:15A million stars, 100 million inhabited planets.

0:41:19 > 0:41:21COURTNEY IS SICK

0:41:21 > 0:41:24Ah, yes, there has been a spillage.

0:41:32 > 0:41:34So, what do you think now?

0:41:34 > 0:41:37- Of the Doctor?- Yeah.

0:41:37 > 0:41:40See, he's all right, isn't he, really? Underneath it all.

0:41:46 > 0:41:49OK. Tell me what you're thinking.

0:41:51 > 0:41:55I know men like him. I've served under them.

0:41:56 > 0:42:00They push you and make you stronger,

0:42:00 > 0:42:03till you're doing things you never thought you could.

0:42:03 > 0:42:07I saw you tonight, you did exactly what he told you.

0:42:07 > 0:42:08You weren't even scared.

0:42:11 > 0:42:12And you should have been.

0:42:14 > 0:42:18I trust him. He has never let me down.

0:42:21 > 0:42:22Fine.

0:42:25 > 0:42:28If he ever pushes you too far, then I want you to tell me,

0:42:28 > 0:42:31because I know what that's like.

0:42:31 > 0:42:33You'll tell me if that happens, yeah?

0:42:33 > 0:42:35Yeah, it's a deal.

0:42:35 > 0:42:38- No. It's a promise. - OK. I promise.

0:42:39 > 0:42:43- If you break that promise, Clara, we're finished.- Don't say that.

0:42:43 > 0:42:47I am saying it because if you if you don't tell me the truth,

0:42:47 > 0:42:52I can't help you, and I could never stand not being able to help you.

0:42:52 > 0:42:53Are we clear?

0:42:54 > 0:42:57Yes. We're clear.

0:43:11 > 0:43:14It was mad, it was like in a film or on the telly,

0:43:14 > 0:43:17like with science fiction guns.

0:43:17 > 0:43:20Skovox Blitzer, sounds like. We've had a few in from that.

0:43:20 > 0:43:22- Wouldn't feel too bad. - If I hadn't...

0:43:24 > 0:43:25If I hadn't...

0:43:27 > 0:43:31Hang on. That doesn't make sense.

0:43:31 > 0:43:33Makes perfect sense to me.

0:43:33 > 0:43:38How did I escape? I don't remember how I got away.

0:43:38 > 0:43:43Well, I was coming to that. I'm afraid you really rather didn't.

0:43:49 > 0:43:51Then how did I get here?

0:43:51 > 0:43:53Well...big question.

0:43:53 > 0:43:54Where am I?

0:43:54 > 0:43:57What name would you like? There's a range. The afterlife.

0:43:57 > 0:44:00The Promised Land. I'm partial to the Nethersphere.

0:44:04 > 0:44:06My God!

0:44:08 > 0:44:10APPROACHING FOOTSTEPS

0:44:14 > 0:44:17Sorry, she's a bit busy today.

0:44:19 > 0:44:21So...any questions?

0:44:24 > 0:44:27Hello, Earth. We have a terrible decision to make.

0:44:27 > 0:44:30An innocent life versus the future of all mankind.

0:44:30 > 0:44:34Whatever future humanity might have depends on the choice made

0:44:34 > 0:44:36right here, right now.

0:44:36 > 0:44:39Aaaarrgghh!

0:44:41 > 0:44:42Decision made.