The Cat's Meow

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0:01:36 > 0:01:39I was thinking, Cotswolds,

0:01:39 > 0:01:41country pub. Roaring fire.

0:01:41 > 0:01:43- Thank you.- Pie and a pint.

0:01:43 > 0:01:46That WOULD be lovely.

0:01:46 > 0:01:48Would be?

0:01:48 > 0:01:50I had other plans.

0:01:50 > 0:01:53I knew you would have arranged something.

0:01:53 > 0:01:56So, what treat have I got in store?

0:01:56 > 0:01:59I was thinking of having another go at anger management.

0:01:59 > 0:02:01Oh, Heston!

0:02:01 > 0:02:03I know.

0:02:03 > 0:02:06- How often do we get the same day off?- What's more important,

0:02:06 > 0:02:09a day out, or getting to grips with our problem, once and for all?

0:02:16 > 0:02:19I'm so sorry it didn't work for you.

0:02:19 > 0:02:21We knew it was a long shot.

0:02:21 > 0:02:23IVF often doesn't work first time.

0:02:23 > 0:02:26And unfortunately, the age of the mother can have an effect

0:02:26 > 0:02:28on the success rate.

0:02:28 > 0:02:30We'll just have to try again, eh, love?

0:02:30 > 0:02:33Next time, you will have to go privately, I'm afraid.

0:02:33 > 0:02:34We know.

0:02:34 > 0:02:38- What?- We did discuss this, remember?

0:02:38 > 0:02:41How... How much will it cost?

0:02:41 > 0:02:43- Prices vary...- Ball park?

0:02:43 > 0:02:45£4,000 or £5,000?

0:02:45 > 0:02:48You can't put a price on our baby, can you?

0:02:48 > 0:02:51In the meantime, don't give up hope of conceiving naturally.

0:02:51 > 0:02:54Sometimes, nature finds a way.

0:02:54 > 0:02:57Thanks for all your help, Doctor.

0:03:07 > 0:03:09Oh, was there something else?

0:03:09 > 0:03:13I, erm, couldn't help noticing your books.

0:03:13 > 0:03:17The Buddhism Way... Inuit Healing.

0:03:17 > 0:03:20Very eclectic selection you've got there.

0:03:20 > 0:03:21I like to be open to new things.

0:03:23 > 0:03:26Have you heard of Harmony Heights? Just off the ring road?

0:03:26 > 0:03:28Doesn't ring any bells.

0:03:28 > 0:03:30Well, we don't waste money on publicity.

0:03:30 > 0:03:33People tend to be guided there by some greater force.

0:03:33 > 0:03:37We run workshops, alternative therapies, crafts and the like.

0:03:37 > 0:03:38Oh, sounds fascinating.

0:03:38 > 0:03:41Always on the look out for new blood, like-minded people.

0:03:41 > 0:03:43Just pop in, anytime.

0:03:43 > 0:03:46Thanks. I might just do that.

0:03:47 > 0:03:50Was there... Was there anything else?

0:03:50 > 0:03:53You'd be most welcome.

0:04:03 > 0:04:05I had the same with our Jack.

0:04:05 > 0:04:07Rob wanted a boy, but I didn't want

0:04:07 > 0:04:10- to know whether it was a he or she until it popped out.- Exactly.

0:04:10 > 0:04:13I'm like that with a box of chocolates, see. I put my hand in, close my eyes.

0:04:13 > 0:04:16I don't know whether I've got a nut cluster or a fudge

0:04:16 > 0:04:17until I stick it in me mouth.

0:04:17 > 0:04:22And next time, remember, skateboarding and tequila don't mix.

0:04:22 > 0:04:26- I thought you were at the Mill today? - Jimmi wanted to swap.

0:04:26 > 0:04:31Which was just as well, because I couldn't wait to show you these!

0:04:31 > 0:04:34Miss Coles has been knitting like a mad thing.

0:04:34 > 0:04:36- Aren't they lovely?- They're beige.

0:04:36 > 0:04:39- So?- Ah, they're really cute.

0:04:39 > 0:04:40Look at the booties.

0:04:40 > 0:04:43- Ooh, thank you.- Thank you.

0:04:43 > 0:04:45- Ow!- What's wrong?

0:04:45 > 0:04:47Toothache. It started last night.

0:04:47 > 0:04:50- You didn't say. - I didn't know you were a dentist.

0:04:50 > 0:04:53- I could have offered you some sympathy.- I swear by oil of cloves.

0:04:53 > 0:04:55No, it's drilling and filling I need.

0:04:55 > 0:04:58I'm going to have to book myself an emergency appointment today.

0:04:58 > 0:05:01Are you planning on finding out what sex it is?

0:05:01 > 0:05:04Not really. I mean, my head's still spinning.

0:05:04 > 0:05:07I wasn't expect to get pregnant so quickly.

0:05:07 > 0:05:09My husband's a bit older than me.

0:05:09 > 0:05:13Some couples try for years, others, it happens straightaway.

0:05:13 > 0:05:15Do all mums get so sick?

0:05:15 > 0:05:18I'm spending a lot of time looking at the bottom of the toilet bowl.

0:05:18 > 0:05:22If it's a problem, we can look at a few options.

0:05:22 > 0:05:25I don't know. If it's natural, maybe I should just try and deal with it.

0:05:25 > 0:05:27If you change your mind, I'm here.

0:05:27 > 0:05:30KNOCK ON DOOR Can you wait, please?

0:05:30 > 0:05:31- Mr Crabtree!- Hi, Doctor.

0:05:31 > 0:05:34Sorry I'm late, love.

0:05:37 > 0:05:41So, mother and baby doing well, I take it?

0:05:41 > 0:05:44Yes, er...both very healthy.

0:05:44 > 0:05:48There, you see, I told you there was nothing to worry about.

0:05:48 > 0:05:52Am I to take it you're this baby's father?

0:05:52 > 0:05:54- I know what you're thinking.- You do?

0:05:54 > 0:05:58That there's a bit of an age gap, but you know what they say,

0:05:58 > 0:05:59nature will find a way.

0:06:03 > 0:06:05PHONE RINGS

0:06:07 > 0:06:08What?

0:06:08 > 0:06:10How are you?

0:06:10 > 0:06:12'The same as I was half an hour ago.'

0:06:12 > 0:06:16- I should have come with you. - I don't need you to hold my hand.

0:06:16 > 0:06:19- 'I hate the thought of you being in pain.'- I'm a big girl now.

0:06:19 > 0:06:21Yeah, but you know they're not going to give you any anaesthetic.

0:06:21 > 0:06:23'Not in your condition.'

0:06:23 > 0:06:25Ms Carmichael.

0:06:25 > 0:06:26Do you want me to come pick you up?

0:06:26 > 0:06:28Daniel. Stop.

0:06:28 > 0:06:31Your concern is very touching, but it's only making this harder.

0:06:31 > 0:06:33OK, look, sorry.

0:06:33 > 0:06:35I've got to go.

0:06:41 > 0:06:43I think he should be strung up by them.

0:06:43 > 0:06:46Some people have no shame.

0:06:46 > 0:06:49Bringing two wives to the same surgery, only an hour apart.

0:06:49 > 0:06:52He's got some nerve, I'll give him that.

0:06:52 > 0:06:55But they cannot both be his wife, not in the eyes of the Lord.

0:06:55 > 0:06:58What are the guidelines on bigamy? Are we meant to report it?

0:06:58 > 0:07:02I don't know. I've never come across anything like this before.

0:07:02 > 0:07:05And the two women. Do they know about each other?

0:07:05 > 0:07:06Intriguing, isn't it?

0:07:06 > 0:07:09Intriguing, Dr Cassidy.

0:07:09 > 0:07:14I think you need to find out what is going on in this place.

0:07:14 > 0:07:19Harmony Heights. It could be Sodom and Gomorrah all over again.

0:07:25 > 0:07:28- I see you've had your 20-week scan already.- Yeah.

0:07:31 > 0:07:33And you're having this one because...?

0:07:33 > 0:07:35Well, we still don't know the gender.

0:07:35 > 0:07:38And you're sure you want to find out now?

0:07:38 > 0:07:42Look, I get the whole surprise thing, but I just can't do it.

0:07:43 > 0:07:44OK.

0:07:47 > 0:07:48Is that what I think it is?

0:07:48 > 0:07:50Yeah.

0:07:50 > 0:07:53It's not part of the umbilical cord?

0:07:53 > 0:07:56You are having a boy.

0:07:56 > 0:07:58A boy.

0:07:58 > 0:08:00Congratulations.

0:08:15 > 0:08:18Dr Cassidy. Have you got news?

0:08:18 > 0:08:19Is it the IVF?

0:08:19 > 0:08:22No. Sorry, Kim. I didn't mean to get your hopes up.

0:08:24 > 0:08:25What are you doing here?

0:08:25 > 0:08:27I was in the area

0:08:27 > 0:08:30and I thought I'd take Mr Crabtree up on his invitation.

0:08:30 > 0:08:33What invitation?

0:08:33 > 0:08:36To see what goes on at Harmony Heights. I'm fascinated.

0:08:36 > 0:08:38I bet you are.

0:08:38 > 0:08:41Yes, thank you, Millie. I can handle this.

0:08:41 > 0:08:42Please. Come in.

0:08:42 > 0:08:45Thank you.

0:08:50 > 0:08:52Oh, it's...

0:08:52 > 0:08:54It's very cosy.

0:08:55 > 0:08:57Er, well, we share the work.

0:08:57 > 0:08:59- Cooking, gardening, child care.- Mh-hm.

0:08:59 > 0:09:02- Ask her what she's really doing here.- Aren't you on soup today?

0:09:02 > 0:09:07Meditation session begins at 11:00 and finishes at lunchtime.

0:09:07 > 0:09:11Great. Well, look forward to seeing you then. Right. Bye.

0:09:13 > 0:09:17- Oh! Dr Cassidy. What a wonderful surprise.- Mr Crabtree.

0:09:17 > 0:09:19Oh, Colin, please.

0:09:19 > 0:09:22Nobody calls me Mr Crabtree, except for my bank manager.

0:09:22 > 0:09:25What are your first impressions of Harmony Heights?

0:09:25 > 0:09:29It's very welcoming. So how does it work? Is it a co-operative?

0:09:29 > 0:09:31Er, yes and no.

0:09:32 > 0:09:36Erm, let me introduce you to my wifeys.

0:09:36 > 0:09:37Wifeys?

0:09:37 > 0:09:39Millie and Kim you've already met.

0:09:41 > 0:09:44And this is Poppy and Grace,

0:09:44 > 0:09:47and our wonderful children, Crystal and Billy.

0:09:47 > 0:09:50- Everyone, this is Elaine.- Hi.

0:09:50 > 0:09:53Oh, we were just about to have lunch.

0:09:53 > 0:09:54You will join us, won't you?

0:09:54 > 0:09:56I'm sorry, but I haven't got time.

0:09:56 > 0:09:58I thought the surgery didn't reopen till four?

0:09:58 > 0:10:01There's always paperwork to do.

0:10:01 > 0:10:04You'll never truly understand Harmony Heights until you

0:10:04 > 0:10:05taste the fruits of our labour.

0:10:05 > 0:10:08It would make our day. Truly.

0:10:08 > 0:10:10What can I say? OK.

0:10:10 > 0:10:13Ah, that's great! Let me show you around.

0:10:14 > 0:10:17Right. Give me two minutes, and I'll be ready for anything.

0:10:17 > 0:10:19I want the name of your dentist.

0:10:19 > 0:10:21He's really put the snap back in your elastic.

0:10:21 > 0:10:23Was it awful?

0:10:23 > 0:10:24It's done now.

0:10:24 > 0:10:27Look, if you want to take the rest of the day off...

0:10:27 > 0:10:30No, I, I can cope here, you can go back to the Mill.

0:10:30 > 0:10:33No, no. You wouldn't let me help yesterday, but I'm here for you now.

0:10:33 > 0:10:36- OK?- Lovely.

0:10:38 > 0:10:43These were made in our family therapy workshop.

0:10:43 > 0:10:45I mean, some of the neighbours don't approve,

0:10:45 > 0:10:47but we're not breaking any laws.

0:10:47 > 0:10:48What about your wifeys?

0:10:48 > 0:10:52Well, none of our marriages have official recognition,

0:10:52 > 0:10:54but that doesn't mean to say that I'm not just as devoted to each

0:10:54 > 0:10:56and every one of my girls, as they are to me.

0:10:56 > 0:11:01- How do you deal with the jealousy? - Jealousy? Oh, there's none of that.

0:11:01 > 0:11:05You see, they're not rivals, they're the best of friends,

0:11:05 > 0:11:07more like sisters really.

0:11:07 > 0:11:10You must admit, what you have here is pretty unorthodox.

0:11:10 > 0:11:15Unorthodox, yes. But why can't this be the blueprint for the future?

0:11:15 > 0:11:19I mean, traditional family structure's disintegrating.

0:11:19 > 0:11:23So why can't we go back to communal living and loving?

0:11:23 > 0:11:26It's probably the loving that people have the problem with.

0:11:26 > 0:11:27But why?

0:11:27 > 0:11:31I don't have to sneak around having seedy affairs.

0:11:31 > 0:11:33Everything is out in the open here.

0:11:33 > 0:11:35- That's true.- Lunch is ready.

0:11:39 > 0:11:41So, here we are.

0:11:41 > 0:11:42Ding, ding, round two.

0:11:42 > 0:11:46This time, you're going to remain in control.

0:11:46 > 0:11:47I don't want to hurt you again, Heston.

0:11:47 > 0:11:49It's not going to happen.

0:11:49 > 0:11:52You don't know that. I don't know that.

0:11:52 > 0:11:55Now, you do want to change?

0:11:55 > 0:11:58Yes, but how many patients have I heard say the same thing?

0:11:58 > 0:12:02And how many of them succeeded? Hardly any.

0:12:02 > 0:12:04Yes, but you've got me.

0:12:06 > 0:12:08But that may not be enough.

0:12:08 > 0:12:13My anger's been with me for as long as I can remember.

0:12:13 > 0:12:14Might be a lost cause.

0:12:14 > 0:12:17We can do this together. Now, last time, it was my fault.

0:12:17 > 0:12:19I jumped in too quickly.

0:12:19 > 0:12:22- I've taken some professional advice.- OK.

0:12:22 > 0:12:27What's been suggested is the traffic light system.

0:12:27 > 0:12:28SHE LAUGHS

0:12:28 > 0:12:31I thought it was anger management, not a driving test.

0:12:31 > 0:12:34Well... Well, trust me.

0:12:35 > 0:12:37Mmm, this is good.

0:12:37 > 0:12:40It's your favourite. Creamy leek.

0:12:40 > 0:12:41All home grown, you know.

0:12:41 > 0:12:45Mmm, it's delicious. May I have some bread, please?

0:12:46 > 0:12:49Of course, I like to think that we've got it right,

0:12:49 > 0:12:52and the rest of society's got it all wrong.

0:12:52 > 0:12:55I mean, there are plenty of examples in the natural world where

0:12:55 > 0:12:57it's one buck to a dozen does.

0:12:57 > 0:13:00In nature, it's monogamy that's unnatural.

0:13:00 > 0:13:03Go and play with Billy now.

0:13:06 > 0:13:08Colin, it's gone one o'clock.

0:13:09 > 0:13:11But we have a guest.

0:13:11 > 0:13:14I don't want to miss my slot. You know how much this means to me.

0:13:18 > 0:13:22See? I'll do anything to keep my wifeys happy.

0:13:29 > 0:13:32Millie. Have I done something to upset you?

0:13:32 > 0:13:36Don't you get it? You're not wanted here.

0:13:36 > 0:13:37Get out.

0:13:40 > 0:13:42Mmm.

0:13:42 > 0:13:48Whoever invented frozen yogurt deserves a Knighthood.

0:13:48 > 0:13:52I'm surprised you went for it. New filling.

0:13:52 > 0:13:56Erm, I'm not using that side of my mouth.

0:13:56 > 0:14:00- Do you know, I haven't seen you this upbeat for ages.- It's just relief.

0:14:00 > 0:14:05Yeah. I want to talk about names.

0:14:05 > 0:14:09- If you must.- Heston had a suggestion.

0:14:09 > 0:14:12- Let me guess. Lapsang Carmichael?- No.

0:14:12 > 0:14:14Earl Grey Granger?

0:14:14 > 0:14:19No. Actually, he came up with Cassandra. What do you think?

0:14:19 > 0:14:22I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy.

0:14:22 > 0:14:25So you're not even going to consider it, not even for a minute?

0:14:25 > 0:14:29You want to name our child after some loopy ancient Greek woman who no-one believed?

0:14:29 > 0:14:32And it'll get shortened to Cassie, which everybody knows is

0:14:32 > 0:14:33a fat girl's name.

0:14:37 > 0:14:40Sorry. That was a bit unfair.

0:14:40 > 0:14:45Look, if you really like Cassandra,

0:14:45 > 0:14:47we can add it to the list.

0:14:47 > 0:14:49Really?

0:14:49 > 0:14:52Conceiving this baby was hard enough.

0:14:52 > 0:14:55Let's not make giving it a name any harder than it has to be.

0:15:03 > 0:15:05Stuck in a traffic jam?

0:15:05 > 0:15:07- Amber.- Amber. Amber.

0:15:07 > 0:15:10Somebody criticising your cooking?

0:15:10 > 0:15:13- Red. Definitely red.- Right.

0:15:13 > 0:15:17OK, why don't we stop there? Well done.

0:15:17 > 0:15:19Oh, that wasn't so bad.

0:15:19 > 0:15:21Well, we've identified the triggers.

0:15:21 > 0:15:24We now have to work on your coping mechanisms.

0:15:24 > 0:15:27- Oh, I knew it wasn't going to be that easy.- Mmm.

0:15:27 > 0:15:29You're scared of losing control

0:15:29 > 0:15:32and that's a fear that we're going to have to confront.

0:15:32 > 0:15:35How about a cup of tea first?

0:15:40 > 0:15:42I don't know what I'm supposed to have done.

0:15:42 > 0:15:44Yeah, right.

0:15:44 > 0:15:47Really, I don't. Talk to me.

0:15:48 > 0:15:51You don't need any extra stress in your condition.

0:15:51 > 0:15:53You just couldn't wait, could you?

0:15:53 > 0:15:55You saw what I've got and you wanted a slice.

0:15:55 > 0:15:56Well, it's not fair.

0:15:56 > 0:16:00This was meant to be my time and I won't share him, not with you.

0:16:00 > 0:16:01You think I'm interested in Colin?

0:16:01 > 0:16:05Don't pretend you don't find him attractive. His aura's too strong.

0:16:05 > 0:16:08I can assure you that I have no interest in Colin.

0:16:08 > 0:16:10That might be what your head is saying,

0:16:10 > 0:16:12but your chakras are screaming something else.

0:16:12 > 0:16:15SCREAMING

0:16:18 > 0:16:20Tell me he's not dead. Please, please!

0:16:20 > 0:16:22Tell me I haven't killed him.

0:16:22 > 0:16:24He's breathing, he's got a good pulse.

0:16:24 > 0:16:26Colin, can you hear me?

0:16:26 > 0:16:28What have you done?

0:16:28 > 0:16:32It's Dr Cassidy. Colin, are you in any pain?

0:16:32 > 0:16:34Kim. What happened?

0:16:34 > 0:16:37We were having sex. He said something about feeling light-headed.

0:16:37 > 0:16:40I... I thought that meant he was enjoying it, but...

0:16:40 > 0:16:43but the next thing I know, he wasn't making any noise at all.

0:16:43 > 0:16:44Has he been ill recently?

0:16:44 > 0:16:47No. He's as fit as a goat.

0:16:47 > 0:16:48Shall I phone for an ambulance?

0:16:48 > 0:16:51- I don't think that will be necessary. - Rescue Remedy?

0:16:51 > 0:16:56Why don't you both just give me some space and I'll see what's wrong?

0:16:56 > 0:17:00If you've damaged him with your jumping spider...

0:17:02 > 0:17:04Custard Cream?

0:17:04 > 0:17:07We don't have to do this.

0:17:07 > 0:17:10It's not too late to go for that drive.

0:17:10 > 0:17:11Do you mean that?

0:17:11 > 0:17:13I just want you to be happy.

0:17:13 > 0:17:16Oh, look, we can do it another time. Yeah? At the weekend maybe.

0:17:16 > 0:17:19So you're not serious about wanting to change?

0:17:19 > 0:17:21- Yeah, of course I am. - You'd rather sit in a pub?

0:17:21 > 0:17:23Well, no, but you...

0:17:23 > 0:17:26Don't you think there are loads of things that I'd rather do?

0:17:26 > 0:17:28- What?- I mean, this is your problem.

0:17:28 > 0:17:31If you can't be bothered, why should I care?

0:17:31 > 0:17:33This was your idea.

0:17:33 > 0:17:34Maybe I made a mistake.

0:17:34 > 0:17:37Well, then why don't you just leave me alone?

0:17:37 > 0:17:38What are you doing to me?

0:17:38 > 0:17:40You're just playing with me, Heston.

0:17:40 > 0:17:42OK, OK. Can we just pause there?

0:17:42 > 0:17:46Now, was that green,

0:17:46 > 0:17:50amber or a red situation?

0:17:51 > 0:17:52Amber.

0:17:52 > 0:17:56OK, let's review this. You lost your temper,

0:17:56 > 0:18:01so how are you going to cope if that happens again?

0:18:03 > 0:18:07Would Tai Chi help? Rolfing?

0:18:07 > 0:18:10No. It's gone beyond all that, hasn't it?

0:18:10 > 0:18:12Some relaxation therapy might help.

0:18:12 > 0:18:15- HE LAUGHS - Relaxation?

0:18:15 > 0:18:18Do you know how much it takes to keep this place going?

0:18:18 > 0:18:22- I suppose it's not cheap. - Four wifeys and two kids.

0:18:22 > 0:18:24Can you imagine how much hot water they use?

0:18:24 > 0:18:28And now there's Kim's IVF treatment to pay for as well.

0:18:28 > 0:18:30But if you can't afford it...

0:18:30 > 0:18:32But you've seen how much it means to her.

0:18:32 > 0:18:34I can't deny her.

0:18:34 > 0:18:38Is there no way you can make more money from the business?

0:18:38 > 0:18:41I work seven days a week as it is.

0:18:41 > 0:18:43Up at the crack of dawn,

0:18:43 > 0:18:45and at night, I...

0:18:45 > 0:18:47I need to share my favours around.

0:18:47 > 0:18:50You can't go on like this. Today, it's exhaustion.

0:18:50 > 0:18:54What if tomorrow, it's a heart attack?

0:18:54 > 0:18:57We've created a little oasis here,

0:18:57 > 0:18:59a heaven on Earth.

0:18:59 > 0:19:00But it's so delicate.

0:19:00 > 0:19:03I can't be the one to unbalance it.

0:19:03 > 0:19:07I can't be the one to bring Harmony Heights crashing down.

0:19:12 > 0:19:14At what point...

0:19:14 > 0:19:18At what point did you start to feel angry?

0:19:18 > 0:19:22Was it when I questioned your commitment to change?

0:19:22 > 0:19:25I don't know. I suppose so.

0:19:25 > 0:19:29- This isn't getting us anywhere. - It can seem like a slow process.

0:19:29 > 0:19:32It's such a waste of time.

0:19:34 > 0:19:36This isn't about me anyway, is it?

0:19:36 > 0:19:39It's about you, you trying to save me.

0:19:39 > 0:19:42- That's not true.- I'm just a patient to you, aren't I?

0:19:42 > 0:19:46Someone to make better with psycho babble so you can go round saying,

0:19:46 > 0:19:48"Oh, look at me,

0:19:48 > 0:19:51"I'm the great Heston Carter, with his miraculous cure."

0:19:51 > 0:19:54OK, shall we pause and review?

0:19:54 > 0:19:55Ah, stuff your review!

0:19:55 > 0:19:59Hey, listen, in any case, who the hell do you think you are,

0:19:59 > 0:20:02trying to tell me what to do? You are nothing!

0:20:02 > 0:20:04You're just a pathetic excuse for a man!

0:20:04 > 0:20:06Let's try and focus.

0:20:06 > 0:20:08Shut up! Just shut up!

0:20:18 > 0:20:20It's OK. It's OK. It's OK.

0:20:22 > 0:20:25This is me, Heston.

0:20:25 > 0:20:28- There's nothing I can do about it. - I don't believe that.

0:20:28 > 0:20:30You might as well ask me to change the colour of my eyes.

0:20:30 > 0:20:33I am not giving up on you.

0:20:35 > 0:20:38- It almost happened again. - But it didn't...

0:20:38 > 0:20:40and you controlled your anger.

0:20:40 > 0:20:43Hardly.

0:20:43 > 0:20:46With work, it will get easier.

0:20:46 > 0:20:49I don't know why you stay with me.

0:20:49 > 0:20:53Most men would have run a mile.

0:20:53 > 0:20:56Because I love you.

0:20:58 > 0:21:01Maybe there is some hope then. Hmm?

0:21:14 > 0:21:15How is he?

0:21:15 > 0:21:18He's in no immediate danger.

0:21:18 > 0:21:22It's you! Everything was wonderful before you turned up.

0:21:22 > 0:21:24What have I done?

0:21:24 > 0:21:26She wants to be wifey number five.

0:21:26 > 0:21:28I haven't even had this baby and

0:21:28 > 0:21:30she's already lining herself up to be my replacement.

0:21:30 > 0:21:33- That's not true. - Well, you can't have him.

0:21:33 > 0:21:35- You're jealous!- No.

0:21:35 > 0:21:37What have you got to be jealous of?

0:21:37 > 0:21:39All Colin had to do was look at you and you got pregnant.

0:21:39 > 0:21:42I've been trying for years and nothing.

0:21:42 > 0:21:44Who do you think he's going to kick out the house, the woman with

0:21:44 > 0:21:47the belly full of his baby, or the barren, dried-up old hag?

0:21:47 > 0:21:49I'm... I'm not kicking anyone out.

0:21:49 > 0:21:53How could you ever think that?

0:21:59 > 0:22:00SHE GIGGLES

0:22:00 > 0:22:02You've got a right wriggler there.

0:22:02 > 0:22:05Once he's started, he never stops kicking and squirming around.

0:22:05 > 0:22:07He?

0:22:07 > 0:22:09Well, he. She.

0:22:09 > 0:22:11It. Whatever.

0:22:12 > 0:22:14Everything all right?

0:22:14 > 0:22:15Perfectly.

0:22:26 > 0:22:30All families have their trials and tribulations.

0:22:30 > 0:22:33The way through them is through honest talking.

0:22:34 > 0:22:36Who wants to go first?

0:22:36 > 0:22:37Kim?

0:22:37 > 0:22:41Everyone knows my problem. I'm useless cos I can't have babies.

0:22:41 > 0:22:45Look what happens when I try, I nearly killed you.

0:22:45 > 0:22:46Is that really what happened?

0:22:46 > 0:22:51I didn't realise how much I wanted a child,

0:22:51 > 0:22:53until I couldn't have one.

0:22:55 > 0:22:56IVF was my last chance.

0:22:58 > 0:23:01But we haven't given up hope, have we?

0:23:04 > 0:23:07I know we're not supposed to, but...

0:23:07 > 0:23:10I can't help being jealous.

0:23:10 > 0:23:11Why, Millie?

0:23:13 > 0:23:16Because I've never felt good enough.

0:23:16 > 0:23:18Can you elaborate?

0:23:18 > 0:23:23You're all such good mothers, such wonderful wives.

0:23:25 > 0:23:28How can I ever live up to your high standards?

0:23:28 > 0:23:29But...

0:23:29 > 0:23:33But I love you all equally.

0:23:33 > 0:23:37And as for your doubts about becoming a parent,

0:23:37 > 0:23:41don't you think every new mother feels exactly the same?

0:23:41 > 0:23:43You'll be fine,

0:23:43 > 0:23:46and whenever you have doubts,

0:23:46 > 0:23:48we'll all be here to help.

0:23:48 > 0:23:51Colin?

0:23:51 > 0:23:53Well...

0:23:53 > 0:23:56The simple truth is... Er...

0:23:56 > 0:23:58that I failed you.

0:23:59 > 0:24:03I promised you all one simple thing,

0:24:03 > 0:24:06that I would love and provide for you.

0:24:10 > 0:24:12But I... I can't do it any more.

0:24:14 > 0:24:19I... I can't sleep at night for worrying about paying the bills.

0:24:19 > 0:24:24I haven't even got the energy to make love to you any more.

0:24:25 > 0:24:29That's what happened this afternoon.

0:24:29 > 0:24:34Maybe you ought to share some of the burdens of running this place.

0:24:34 > 0:24:38You are surrounded by intelligent, capable women.

0:24:38 > 0:24:39If you all pooled your skills,

0:24:39 > 0:24:42maybe you'd make this place a success.

0:24:43 > 0:24:45We'd like to help more.

0:24:47 > 0:24:52And we don't have to go ahead with the IVF.

0:24:52 > 0:24:53Not if we can't afford it.

0:24:55 > 0:24:58But it... It's what you want.

0:24:58 > 0:25:01We don't always get what we want in life though, do we?

0:25:03 > 0:25:06I've let you down. All of you.

0:25:06 > 0:25:08Don't deny it. I... I have.

0:25:08 > 0:25:10You haven't let anyone down.

0:25:10 > 0:25:13But you've got four separate marriages here.

0:25:13 > 0:25:16Most people only just about manage to make one work.

0:25:16 > 0:25:17You think we're not up to the job?

0:25:17 > 0:25:20I think you all need to admit that making a go of this place

0:25:20 > 0:25:24is harder than it looks. Stop pretending it's perfect.

0:25:24 > 0:25:26Marriages rarely are.

0:25:26 > 0:25:28We can do that.

0:25:42 > 0:25:45Are you leaving without saying goodbye?

0:25:45 > 0:25:49- I didn't see you there.- I haven't seen hide nor hair of you all afternoon.

0:25:49 > 0:25:50It's like you're avoiding me.

0:25:50 > 0:25:54I'm busy. It's called doing my job.

0:25:54 > 0:25:56Ooh, have you got a bit of ultrasound gel,

0:25:56 > 0:26:00- on your jumper there?- Where?

0:26:00 > 0:26:03Dentist, my backside.

0:26:03 > 0:26:06All right, Sherlock. But this has got to remain our little secret.

0:26:06 > 0:26:09I thought you didn't want to know the gender?

0:26:09 > 0:26:11That was Daniel's idea. You know what boys are like?

0:26:11 > 0:26:14They like surprises. So he must never find out that I already know.

0:26:14 > 0:26:17You've let it slip once. It's bound to happen again.

0:26:17 > 0:26:19- It won't.- Really.

0:26:19 > 0:26:21I'll bet you that Daniel finds out he's having

0:26:21 > 0:26:25a boy before the week's out.

0:26:25 > 0:26:27- Ready?- Of course.

0:26:27 > 0:26:30We should go.

0:26:30 > 0:26:33- Night, Karen.- Night! Ooh, Zara.

0:26:34 > 0:26:36Tenner.

0:26:43 > 0:26:46I've decided it's time for me to experiment with drugs

0:26:46 > 0:26:48- and prostitutes.- What?

0:26:48 > 0:26:51What, Nina? The one with the...

0:26:51 > 0:26:53What, I'm not allowed to notice?

0:26:53 > 0:26:56- Will you or won't you get us in? - Yeah, I'll get you in.

0:26:56 > 0:26:58I haven't got anything nice to wear since I ballooned up,

0:26:58 > 0:27:01I can't stand on my swollen ankles for more than five minutes and

0:27:01 > 0:27:03I hate being asked, "What do you do?"

0:27:03 > 0:27:05which will be the catchphrase of the night.

0:27:07 > 0:27:10Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

0:27:10 > 0:27:13E-mail subtitling@bbc.co.uk