0:00:57 > 0:01:00'Rise and shine with Letherbridge FM.'
0:01:00 > 0:01:04Can I book a manicure, please? Yeah, for this afternoon.
0:01:04 > 0:01:08Three o'clock. Lovely. I'll look forward. Goodbye.
0:01:10 > 0:01:16- A manicure? Very lady of leisure. - Oh, it's those vouchers I got off Ag for Christmas.
0:01:16 > 0:01:21- First opportunity I've had to use them.- Aye up.- Ooh. To what do we owe the honour?
0:01:21 > 0:01:23I'm going in with Dad.
0:01:23 > 0:01:26I've arranged for him to shadow the Duty Brief.
0:01:26 > 0:01:27No work?
0:01:27 > 0:01:31No. I am a lady of leisure today. Got the day off.
0:01:31 > 0:01:33I am going to have a manicure
0:01:33 > 0:01:38this afternoon, but first it's hairdressers and then lunch with Ang.
0:01:38 > 0:01:41- Oh good for you, Mum. You deserve it.- Oh.
0:01:41 > 0:01:45As you're here....any chance I can get these back by tonight?
0:01:45 > 0:01:47You're going to have to wait your turn.
0:01:49 > 0:01:51Oh, morning. You all prepared?
0:01:51 > 0:01:53- Think so.- Course she is.
0:01:53 > 0:01:57There's nothing like learning from your mistakes, is there, Angel?
0:01:57 > 0:02:00- Yeah.- Good girl.- Any idiot can pass the driving theory test.
0:02:00 > 0:02:03- I didn't even look at that book and I aced mine.- No!
0:02:03 > 0:02:07Oh... No, oh, no, Rob!
0:02:07 > 0:02:09Oh!
0:02:15 > 0:02:19Oh... Er, Mrs Karen Hollins?
0:02:19 > 0:02:23No. I think she lives just round that way.
0:02:29 > 0:02:32So muggins here gets left to sort it.
0:02:32 > 0:02:36- I'll look at it later. - Spending her day off, knee deep in soggy laundry.
0:02:36 > 0:02:39- Then get a man. - Why do you think I married you?
0:02:39 > 0:02:43- I better get off otherwise I'm going to be late. - Hey, where are you going!?
0:02:43 > 0:02:45Dad's giving me a lift to the Mill.
0:02:45 > 0:02:47Rob Hollins, get back here!
0:02:47 > 0:02:49Rob! Rob!
0:02:50 > 0:02:53Rob! CAR HORN HOOTS
0:02:56 > 0:02:58LOUD MUSIC IN CAR
0:03:01 > 0:03:03# And I would bring
0:03:03 > 0:03:05# Sweets for my sweet
0:03:05 > 0:03:08# Sugar for my... # MUSIC STOPS
0:03:08 > 0:03:10DOORBELL RINGS
0:03:15 > 0:03:17Oi!
0:03:18 > 0:03:19I'm not buying anything!
0:03:19 > 0:03:24Nor I selling. Er, I seek Mrs Karen Hollins.
0:03:24 > 0:03:26Who's looking for her?
0:03:26 > 0:03:29Have I the felicity of speaking to the party in question?
0:03:29 > 0:03:33- Depends who's asking. - Bagley Grimsdale.
0:03:33 > 0:03:35Of Buggins Grimsdale and Peck, deceased.
0:03:35 > 0:03:38Buggins Grimsdale and Peck?
0:03:38 > 0:03:39Deceased.
0:03:39 > 0:03:45Peck, that is. Mr Buggins has the fortuity of still being with us.
0:03:45 > 0:03:49Albeit more in body than in spirit.
0:03:49 > 0:03:52- What do you want? - I am an Advocate of the Law.
0:03:52 > 0:03:55Oh, no. I told you. It was a shunt.
0:03:55 > 0:03:58You are under a misapprehension...
0:03:58 > 0:04:01The phone calls were bad enough but now you've the cheek to turn up here.
0:04:01 > 0:04:05For the last time, no, I'm not interested.
0:04:05 > 0:04:07Madam...
0:04:07 > 0:04:08Blooming ambulance chaser!
0:04:14 > 0:04:16Are there any questions, Imogen?
0:04:16 > 0:04:18No, Mrs Tembe.
0:04:18 > 0:04:21- Oh, but Julia did say I could leave early for my theory test.- We'll see.
0:04:21 > 0:04:25- Oh, piece of cake. Everyone passes their theory test.- Morning.- Morning.
0:04:25 > 0:04:29Ooh, talking of cake.
0:04:29 > 0:04:31Are you sure? Moment on the lips...
0:04:31 > 0:04:34Ah, it's for Cherry, actually, to welcome her back.
0:04:34 > 0:04:39I thought it was the lucky sod who'd been on holiday who gave out presents. Not the other way round.
0:04:39 > 0:04:41It is a very kind thought.
0:04:41 > 0:04:44You have missed your friend while she has been away?
0:04:45 > 0:04:47Ah, sweet!
0:04:47 > 0:04:50Yes, it beats having to look at your ugly mug.
0:04:54 > 0:04:57- KNOCK ON DOOR Hey.- Hey.
0:04:57 > 0:04:59So. Glad to be back?
0:04:59 > 0:05:03- What do you think?- Well...
0:05:03 > 0:05:06- There you go.- Oh, is this for me?
0:05:06 > 0:05:09Oh, Jimmi, thank you.
0:05:11 > 0:05:13It's...very nice.
0:05:15 > 0:05:17Just what I wanted!
0:05:17 > 0:05:20So, tell me, how was the "back-to-front" honeymoon?
0:05:20 > 0:05:22Back-to-front was the right way round.
0:05:22 > 0:05:25Cherry was going mental over the wedding.
0:05:25 > 0:05:27So, hopefully this will have calmed her down.
0:05:28 > 0:05:31OK. Next item is...canapes.
0:05:31 > 0:05:33So, there's 11 vegetarian,
0:05:33 > 0:05:36five vegan, two nut allergies.
0:05:37 > 0:05:41Yes, because the vegetarian option is warm goat's cheese.
0:05:41 > 0:05:43Yeah, yeah, that's probably best.
0:05:43 > 0:05:46We can go over the outstanding items face-to-face.
0:05:47 > 0:05:49Yeah, OK. All right, then.
0:05:49 > 0:05:51All right. Bye.
0:05:51 > 0:05:53I thought a holiday was meant to relax you.
0:05:53 > 0:05:57I have no idea how I would have coped without Jimmi's dongle.
0:05:57 > 0:05:59- Mind boggles.- I was able to send e-mails on the beach,
0:05:59 > 0:06:01but what was the point?
0:06:01 > 0:06:05Take your eye off the ball for two weeks and nothing gets done,
0:06:05 > 0:06:06and I mean absolutely nothing.
0:06:06 > 0:06:10- OK, deep breaths, in and out. - Freya, I don't think that's...
0:06:10 > 0:06:11Just do it!
0:06:14 > 0:06:16Actually, that works.
0:06:16 > 0:06:18Told you. I've got healing hands.
0:06:21 > 0:06:23- How's the house? - Getting there, slowly.
0:06:23 > 0:06:25Our second honeymoon's going to be a DIY one.
0:06:25 > 0:06:28What about Patrick and Sally? Have they found somewhere yet?
0:06:28 > 0:06:33Well, actually, um... Sally found another job in Cheshire.
0:06:33 > 0:06:34Is everything OK?
0:06:36 > 0:06:38- Fine.- You sure?
0:06:38 > 0:06:41Got me a present? Sorry.
0:06:41 > 0:06:43I'll leave you to it.
0:06:43 > 0:06:45Thanks for this.
0:06:46 > 0:06:47Well?
0:06:48 > 0:06:51- A guitar.- No, it's a timple.
0:06:51 > 0:06:52A really small guitar.
0:06:52 > 0:06:54Yeah, exactly. I saw it and I thought of you.
0:06:54 > 0:06:57- Ha, ha. I don't even know how to play it.- How's Zara?
0:06:57 > 0:06:59Er, yes, thank you, she's fine. She's on a course
0:06:59 > 0:07:03and then I've forced her to take it easy for a few days.
0:07:03 > 0:07:05You've "forced" Zara to take it easy?
0:07:05 > 0:07:07I told her she's having a spa day
0:07:07 > 0:07:09and that it's non-refundable, so, there you go.
0:07:09 > 0:07:11Presents. Where's mine?
0:07:19 > 0:07:21So, how are you getting o...?
0:07:23 > 0:07:25What is this?
0:07:25 > 0:07:27I'm sorry, Mrs Tembe, I was just...
0:07:27 > 0:07:31"Sorry" is not good enough. You have been employed to input data,
0:07:31 > 0:07:34not to amuse yourself on the internet.
0:07:34 > 0:07:36Mrs Parsons will be very unimpressed.
0:07:36 > 0:07:38It's my theory test.
0:07:38 > 0:07:41Jack said a chimp could pass, so I left it until the last minute
0:07:41 > 0:07:44and now I don't understand half of the stuff,
0:07:44 > 0:07:46and my parents think I'm going to walk it,
0:07:46 > 0:07:48but I can't let them down again, I can't.
0:07:48 > 0:07:52Oh there, there, child. There, there.
0:07:53 > 0:07:57Look, sometimes we do the wrong thing for the right reasons.
0:07:58 > 0:08:01I'll work over lunch to make up for it.
0:08:01 > 0:08:02That will not be necessary.
0:08:02 > 0:08:05And you will not fail because I will not let you.
0:08:06 > 0:08:09You are going to pass with flying colours.
0:08:15 > 0:08:20My card, confirming that I am a professional gentleman of the law,
0:08:20 > 0:08:23here to discuss a private family matter.
0:08:23 > 0:08:27- What sort of private family matter? - One that would not remain private,
0:08:27 > 0:08:28were I to discuss it on the doorstep.
0:08:28 > 0:08:32Well, it's as far as you're getting, so out with it.
0:08:32 > 0:08:37Information pertaining to the estate of the late Violet Mason.
0:08:38 > 0:08:41As in, "last will and testament" or "car with big boot"?
0:08:43 > 0:08:45The former.
0:08:46 > 0:08:48My granddad was called Mason.
0:08:50 > 0:08:52Repeat after me, Imogen.
0:08:52 > 0:08:54The first rule of the road is...?
0:08:54 > 0:08:56Common sense.
0:08:56 > 0:08:59Right. That is all you need to remember. Now, then.
0:09:01 > 0:09:05"Two cyclists approach a roundabout in the left-hand lane.
0:09:05 > 0:09:09"In which direction should you expect them to go?"
0:09:09 > 0:09:12A, left, B, right,
0:09:12 > 0:09:17C, any direction, or D, straight ahead.
0:09:19 > 0:09:21I think you will find it is C.
0:09:21 > 0:09:23Are you sure?
0:09:23 > 0:09:27Cyclists are a law unto themselves and a hazard to other road users.
0:09:27 > 0:09:31Weaving all over, nipping in and out of traffic.
0:09:31 > 0:09:34No, I think you will find that the answer is C.
0:09:34 > 0:09:35Any direction.
0:09:37 > 0:09:41Ah. That... Well, that is most unexpected.
0:09:45 > 0:09:47So, what's this about?
0:09:47 > 0:09:52Do you have knowledge of a great aunt Violet Mason
0:09:52 > 0:09:56on your maternal grandfather's side?
0:09:57 > 0:10:02Um, well, my mum came from a big family and she died years ago, so...
0:10:02 > 0:10:07Is there a relative who could elucidate?
0:10:07 > 0:10:09I could ask my dad.
0:10:09 > 0:10:10Ah.
0:10:11 > 0:10:14So, what's in this will?
0:10:14 > 0:10:19Er, that I'm at liberty to discuss with the beneficiary.
0:10:19 > 0:10:22Oh, well, right.
0:10:22 > 0:10:23Will that do?
0:10:23 > 0:10:25Ah.
0:10:30 > 0:10:33CLEARS THROAT
0:10:45 > 0:10:48No, I'm afraid it won't.
0:10:48 > 0:10:53- Why not?- This confirms that you are Karen Hollins
0:10:53 > 0:10:57but not that you are Karen Hollins nee Teale.
0:10:58 > 0:11:01What do you want? A birth certificate, or...?
0:11:01 > 0:11:03Do you have such a document?
0:11:04 > 0:11:07You are at the scene of an accident.
0:11:07 > 0:11:09Someone is suffering from shock.
0:11:09 > 0:11:12You should, A, give them a hot drink.
0:11:12 > 0:11:15B, keep them warm.
0:11:15 > 0:11:18C, avoid moving them or D, offer them a cigaret...
0:11:18 > 0:11:22A cig... Is that a trick question? Offer them a cigarette, indeed.
0:11:22 > 0:11:24B and C.
0:11:24 > 0:11:26The answer's B and C.
0:11:26 > 0:11:28Er..
0:11:28 > 0:11:30Good, yes. Mmm.
0:11:30 > 0:11:33However, I am surprised that they did not include A,
0:11:33 > 0:11:39as a hot, sweet drink is often used to help with shock.
0:11:39 > 0:11:41You have been ever so helpful, Mrs Tembe,
0:11:41 > 0:11:43I can't even thank you enough.
0:11:43 > 0:11:47But I do think I should be getting on with that data.
0:11:47 > 0:11:49Oh... Oh, yes, yes, of course.
0:11:49 > 0:11:53Well, good luck, Imogen, and remember what I told you.
0:11:53 > 0:11:56The first rule of the road is...?
0:11:56 > 0:11:59- Common sense.- Aye, good girl.
0:12:01 > 0:12:05Do you fancy getting some lunch when you're done?
0:12:05 > 0:12:08I can't, I've got to meet the wedding planner at The Chateau.
0:12:08 > 0:12:11You need to stay calm. Give them hell.
0:12:11 > 0:12:13I will. BFN.
0:12:13 > 0:12:15Bye, darling.
0:12:16 > 0:12:19"Bye, darlin'."
0:12:19 > 0:12:21- What's wrong with you? - Nothing's wrong with me.
0:12:21 > 0:12:24- I'm a bit worried about you, though. - Meaning?
0:12:24 > 0:12:25Well, you look a little bit peaky.
0:12:25 > 0:12:28I think you might be coming down with something.
0:12:28 > 0:12:30Like a touch of the love-sickness.
0:12:30 > 0:12:32What are you wittering on about?
0:12:32 > 0:12:35Massages, love gifts, hugs and kisses.
0:12:37 > 0:12:40I'm talking about your girl crush.
0:12:40 > 0:12:42Right.
0:12:45 > 0:12:48Right, just shut it, will you?
0:12:48 > 0:12:51OMG. Nail on the head.
0:12:51 > 0:12:53Don't be moronic.
0:12:53 > 0:12:55So, you don't fancy Cherry, then?
0:12:55 > 0:12:58No, of course I don't fancy Cherry.
0:12:58 > 0:13:00You're lying!
0:13:00 > 0:13:03- N-no, I'm not.- You did it again. - I did what?
0:13:03 > 0:13:06Looked right. Means you're lying. Left means you're remembering.
0:13:06 > 0:13:11- That's a load of bull.- Visually constructed imagery. It's a scientific fact. I saw it on Luther.
0:13:11 > 0:13:14Look, OK. I might have fancied her a little bit in the past,
0:13:14 > 0:13:17but that's all fine now, cos we're just good friends.
0:13:17 > 0:13:21Yeah, right. I suppose that's one of the hazards of being bi...
0:13:22 > 0:13:25Temptation everywhere you look.
0:13:25 > 0:13:28Not if I'm looking in your direction.
0:13:28 > 0:13:30And, by the way, my personal life?
0:13:30 > 0:13:33- That's none of your business or anybody else's, OK?- Hmm.
0:13:37 > 0:13:39He wouldn't say.
0:13:39 > 0:13:43No, he just said he'd come back when I found my birth certificate.
0:13:45 > 0:13:48Well, they were.
0:13:48 > 0:13:49Yeah, and then we had that flood
0:13:49 > 0:13:52and you moved everything to a "place of safety".
0:13:52 > 0:13:55Which it certainly is.
0:13:56 > 0:13:58Well, they'll turn up.
0:13:59 > 0:14:01Oh, all right. Off you go.
0:14:10 > 0:14:13Ha-ha-HA! Bingo.
0:14:20 > 0:14:22Heather?
0:14:24 > 0:14:25Hi, Hollins.
0:14:31 > 0:14:33Dad, it's me.
0:14:33 > 0:14:36Now, listen, this is important.
0:14:36 > 0:14:42Did Mum ever mention a great aunt Violet on Granddad Mason's side?
0:14:44 > 0:14:46It's Karen.
0:14:46 > 0:14:50Have you got your hearing aid...? Dad, put your hearing aid in.
0:14:50 > 0:14:52Look, Dad.
0:14:52 > 0:14:54I can't chat.
0:14:54 > 0:14:59Listen. Did Mum ever mention a great aunt Violet?
0:15:02 > 0:15:04Really?!
0:15:07 > 0:15:09Trout face? Drinks like...
0:15:09 > 0:15:12No, it's Auntie Gwen, I think. Right.
0:15:13 > 0:15:16So, what are you up to?
0:15:16 > 0:15:20Drama at Birmingham. You?
0:15:20 > 0:15:23- Re-takes.- Bad luck.
0:15:23 > 0:15:24It wasn't bad luck.
0:15:25 > 0:15:27'We apologise for the delay.
0:15:27 > 0:15:29'Engineers are working on a temporary fault
0:15:29 > 0:15:32'in the computer system. This could take up to half an hour.
0:15:32 > 0:15:35'We thank you for your patience and once again apologise for the delay.'
0:15:35 > 0:15:38Brilliant.
0:15:38 > 0:15:40I could do with some last-minute swotting.
0:15:40 > 0:15:43No-one fails driving theory.
0:15:44 > 0:15:46Well, there's room for a first.
0:15:47 > 0:15:50Embarrassing. Time for a fag, then.
0:16:03 > 0:16:05Ooh, hello. Come in, come in, come in.
0:16:13 > 0:16:16- What are you doing?- What does it look like? You want one?
0:16:16 > 0:16:19Are you taking someone else's test?
0:16:19 > 0:16:21You always were a suck up.
0:16:21 > 0:16:24You don't drink, don't smoke. What do you do?
0:16:24 > 0:16:27Do you have any idea of the trouble you'd be in?
0:16:27 > 0:16:29Only if someone grasses me up.
0:16:29 > 0:16:32- You wouldn't?- No.
0:16:32 > 0:16:34Could do yours, if you want. A freebie.
0:16:34 > 0:16:36I think they'd notice if you sat two tests.
0:16:36 > 0:16:39Don't be thick. Mine today and I'll re-book the other.
0:16:39 > 0:16:41We don't even look alike.
0:16:41 > 0:16:46Duh. It's a driving licence photo. Tell the difference?
0:16:47 > 0:16:51No resit fee, no humiliation. Pass guaranteed.
0:16:51 > 0:16:53What d'you say?
0:16:57 > 0:17:01- Come in, sit down. I'll be two ticks.- Thank you.
0:17:12 > 0:17:14Got it!
0:17:16 > 0:17:18So, there we go.
0:17:18 > 0:17:23Karen Teale. Mother Brenda Teale.
0:17:23 > 0:17:25Maiden name Mason.
0:17:25 > 0:17:27So, what's this about?
0:17:31 > 0:17:34I'm afraid that would not be appropriate.
0:17:34 > 0:17:36Why?
0:17:36 > 0:17:39This testifies that you were born Karen Teale.
0:17:39 > 0:17:45It doesn't prove that you are Miss Mason's great grand-niece.
0:17:47 > 0:17:49What do you want, blood?!
0:17:49 > 0:17:50A-ha-ha, not at this juncture,
0:17:50 > 0:17:53requiring, as it would, the exhumation of Miss Mason.
0:17:53 > 0:17:57A course of action that would have her revolving in her grave.
0:17:57 > 0:18:00Both literally and metaphorically.
0:18:00 > 0:18:05Listen. I've seen Heir Hunters, this ain't it.
0:18:05 > 0:18:10Madam, I am a professional gentleman, not an heir hunter.
0:18:10 > 0:18:11Right.
0:18:11 > 0:18:15I think you're a con artist and this is some sort of scam
0:18:15 > 0:18:17and I would like you to leave.
0:18:25 > 0:18:26All sorted?
0:18:26 > 0:18:29The computers are back up. It'll be another ten minutes.
0:18:33 > 0:18:34Don't do it, Heather.
0:18:34 > 0:18:37It's a one off. Temporary cash-flow problem.
0:18:37 > 0:18:40And my parents are getting a little bored with bailing me out.
0:18:40 > 0:18:43And what about the next time that you're broke?
0:18:43 > 0:18:46- And the time after that? It gets easier.- Butt out, Hollins.
0:18:46 > 0:18:49- It's illegal. - Rich coming from you.
0:18:49 > 0:18:52We all heard about your little blip.
0:18:52 > 0:18:55It wasn't a blip. I stole. I was a thief. And I got caught.
0:18:55 > 0:18:57More the fool you.
0:18:57 > 0:19:00They took me to court. I've never been so humiliated.
0:19:00 > 0:19:04- Well, you're still here, so no lasting damage.- No lasting damage?!
0:19:04 > 0:19:06I messed up my exams, my parents hate me
0:19:06 > 0:19:08and now I've got a criminal record.
0:19:08 > 0:19:11Do you know what that's done to my job prospects?
0:19:11 > 0:19:14- PHONE RINGS - Take it from me. It's not worth it.
0:19:15 > 0:19:17Haven't you got any friends to go and bother?
0:19:19 > 0:19:22Hey. Yeah, soon as I'm finished here.
0:19:24 > 0:19:27I am nothing of the sort.
0:19:27 > 0:19:31I am a bachelor living with my elderly mother.
0:19:32 > 0:19:35Get out before I call the police!
0:19:35 > 0:19:37Hmph.
0:19:47 > 0:19:48Icon?
0:19:48 > 0:19:52Well, count me in. I could murder a pint. You boys coming?
0:19:52 > 0:19:54- No, unpacking.- Yeah, gym. - See you later.
0:19:54 > 0:19:57See ya. Er, cake-tasting with Mrs Tembe.
0:20:03 > 0:20:05- Name?- Imogen Hollins.- Thank you.
0:20:08 > 0:20:11- Terminal 3.- Thanks.
0:20:11 > 0:20:15- Name?- Chris Pictus. - Terminal four.
0:20:16 > 0:20:18Name?
0:20:18 > 0:20:22I can't wait any longer. I'll have to re-book.
0:20:31 > 0:20:33It's a bit alcoholic.
0:20:33 > 0:20:38Well, yes, I soaked the fruit in brandy for 48 hours.
0:20:38 > 0:20:40Yeah, that's a little bit too long.
0:20:40 > 0:20:42My Uncle Steven's a recovering alcoholic,
0:20:42 > 0:20:45some of the guests are teetotal and Zara's pregnant.
0:20:47 > 0:20:48OK...
0:20:55 > 0:20:57Kind of missing something.
0:20:58 > 0:21:00That would be the alcohol.
0:21:00 > 0:21:04And it sticks to the roof of your mouth.
0:21:14 > 0:21:17It's light...
0:21:18 > 0:21:21It's unusually spiced...
0:21:21 > 0:21:22Yes?
0:21:25 > 0:21:27It's perfect.
0:21:27 > 0:21:30I can't wait to see the finished product!
0:21:32 > 0:21:36Now. Any ideas on the icing?
0:21:36 > 0:21:39Same again, please, love. And have one for yourself.
0:21:39 > 0:21:40Oh, cheers.
0:21:40 > 0:21:44I'd padlock your pants, mate. She's on the rebound. And she's not fussy.
0:21:44 > 0:21:47Please ignore him. Chronic immaturity.
0:21:48 > 0:21:50Just leave it, will you?
0:21:50 > 0:21:52Just having a bit of fun.
0:21:52 > 0:21:55We're adult professionals, yeah?
0:21:55 > 0:21:58Adolescent gossip about a colleague's personal life?
0:21:58 > 0:21:59I don't find that fun.
0:21:59 > 0:22:02OK, fine, I'll shut up.
0:22:02 > 0:22:03On one condition.
0:22:03 > 0:22:05Being?
0:22:05 > 0:22:07You tell me which is better.
0:22:07 > 0:22:09Boys or girls?
0:22:10 > 0:22:12Ow!
0:22:14 > 0:22:17- These ones?- Yes. Does it ma...?
0:22:17 > 0:22:20You know, you really want to get yourself some decent underwear.
0:22:20 > 0:22:22Do you think he was for real?
0:22:22 > 0:22:25I don't know, but I can run a check down at the station.
0:22:25 > 0:22:28He definitely knew more than he was letting on.
0:22:30 > 0:22:34I suppose I am a little bit lonely since Bobby and I split up.
0:22:35 > 0:22:37Oh, no, correction.
0:22:37 > 0:22:40Since he dropped me like a hot brick for daring to like him.
0:22:43 > 0:22:45Well, she's fit enough.
0:22:45 > 0:22:47No, not you as well?
0:22:47 > 0:22:50Oh, no way. Too much sugar.
0:22:50 > 0:22:52I prefer my women more savoury.
0:22:52 > 0:22:54Like Zara?
0:22:55 > 0:22:57Well, who wouldn't?
0:22:57 > 0:22:59Eh, but she's taken.
0:23:00 > 0:23:03And I've got far too much unwanted female attention
0:23:03 > 0:23:06without wasting my energies on pointless crushes.
0:23:06 > 0:23:09- Bully for you. - I was being sarcastic.
0:23:09 > 0:23:14I might as well have "girlfriend slayer" tattooed across my forehead.
0:23:14 > 0:23:17Mine says, "Not girlfriend material."
0:23:18 > 0:23:21Is a face like this destined to be celibate?
0:23:24 > 0:23:26I think we need another drink.
0:23:27 > 0:23:29Jack!
0:23:29 > 0:23:33I could give Auntie Eileen a call. She might know something.
0:23:33 > 0:23:38Look, even if he's genuine, I wouldn't be getting your hopes up.
0:23:38 > 0:23:41It's probably some worthless family heirloom.
0:23:42 > 0:23:43Or it could be a Ming vase
0:23:43 > 0:23:46or a Rembrandt that's been stuffed in the loft.
0:23:46 > 0:23:50I think you've been watching too much Cash In The Attic.
0:23:50 > 0:23:52- Hiya.- Hiya.- Hi.
0:23:52 > 0:23:53How did it go?
0:23:53 > 0:23:54I passed.
0:23:54 > 0:23:56- Good.- Eh! Flying colours?
0:23:56 > 0:24:00Not exactly. I scraped it by one mark.
0:24:00 > 0:24:03Well, that's one more than you needed.
0:24:03 > 0:24:06And you put the effort in, didn't you?
0:24:06 > 0:24:11- Yeah.- Yeah, well, that's good enough for us, isn't it? Well done, love.
0:24:15 > 0:24:1811 weeks, four days and counting.
0:24:20 > 0:24:22Four weeks, two days.
0:24:23 > 0:24:25New Year's Eve.
0:24:25 > 0:24:28Mmm. Here's to celibacy.
0:24:28 > 0:24:30Celibacy. Eyes.
0:24:38 > 0:24:41Now, how about a little nibble on my nuts?
0:24:41 > 0:24:43I don't mind if I do!
0:24:43 > 0:24:45THEY LAUGH
0:24:45 > 0:24:47Thank you.
0:24:47 > 0:24:49You're welcome.
0:24:49 > 0:24:51See, you've gone back to being normal
0:24:51 > 0:24:54- now you've had a couple of drinks. - Thank you very much.
0:24:54 > 0:24:59Shame we won't be doing this much more now that one of us is leaving.
0:25:01 > 0:25:05Yeah, probably me. At which point, I can kiss my career goodbye.
0:25:05 > 0:25:08- Drama queen.- Eh, mud sticks.
0:25:08 > 0:25:09If the Mill don't keep me on,
0:25:09 > 0:25:13then my job prospects are on a par with getting laid.
0:25:13 > 0:25:18If you are really worried about it, move away. Make a fresh start.
0:25:18 > 0:25:21Oh, conveniently leaving the way clear for you.
0:25:21 > 0:25:24No, if I get the job, it will be because I'm better qualified.
0:25:24 > 0:25:26If you get it, it's because you don't have
0:25:26 > 0:25:29a murder accusation hanging over your head.
0:25:29 > 0:25:31Oh, Kev, get over it! You were cleared!
0:25:31 > 0:25:35But, hey, if you need excuses to justify your failing...
0:25:35 > 0:25:39You don't even want the job, you just want to lech over Princess Cherry.
0:25:39 > 0:25:43That's it, spread stupid gossip about me so that you bag the job.
0:25:43 > 0:25:46Well, I wasn't thinking that but actually that's quite a good idea.
0:25:46 > 0:25:47If you say one word...
0:25:47 > 0:25:49You'll what? Tell Auntie Julia?
0:25:49 > 0:25:51Yeah, I bet you she'd love to know her practice nurse
0:25:51 > 0:25:53is being perved over by Doctor Lumberjack.
0:25:53 > 0:25:55Oh, you just...
0:25:55 > 0:25:57Guys, can you take this outside?
0:25:57 > 0:25:59Yeah, I'm happy to, if you dare.
0:25:59 > 0:26:02- Oh, what's this? Bristols at dawn? - OUT!
0:26:57 > 0:27:00It's OK, I'm not going to hurt you.
0:27:00 > 0:27:03- Shut up.- Oh!- Give me your handbag. Don't try anything, I have a knife.
0:27:03 > 0:27:05Nobody else can know about this, OK?
0:27:05 > 0:27:08I'm not telling anyone. I'd die of shame.
0:27:08 > 0:27:10If you get £1,000 in cash,
0:27:10 > 0:27:13hand it over to me, all of this goes away.
0:27:13 > 0:27:16Admit it, Freya. Three times? I was dynamite, wasn't I?
0:27:16 > 0:27:19I was the best you've ever had.
0:27:19 > 0:27:21Do you really want an honest answer to that?
0:27:29 > 0:27:32Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd
0:27:32 > 0:27:35E-mail subtitling@bbc.co.uk