And Nothing But the Truth

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0:00:32 > 0:00:34LOUD DANCE MUSIC

0:01:45 > 0:01:46MOBILE PHONE BEEPS

0:02:09 > 0:02:13MUSIC: "The Look Of Love" By Dusty Springfield

0:02:17 > 0:02:21Champagne on ice,

0:02:21 > 0:02:23two glasses...

0:02:23 > 0:02:27And one lucky lady.

0:02:32 > 0:02:35Hi. It's the Icon bar.

0:02:35 > 0:02:36Thanks.

0:02:46 > 0:02:49First date? Yeah.

0:02:49 > 0:02:51She'll be here. She's a class act.

0:02:51 > 0:02:53Nice one!

0:02:53 > 0:02:57She's a stunner, naturally. Smart - she's a teacher.

0:02:57 > 0:02:59Looks after herself, works out.

0:02:59 > 0:03:02Nothing loud or vulgar about her.

0:03:02 > 0:03:04She's classy. Special, actually.

0:03:04 > 0:03:08Really special.

0:03:18 > 0:03:21The Icon, yeah? Great.

0:03:27 > 0:03:30So, tonight she gets the full Kevin Tyler Treatment

0:03:30 > 0:03:33- She won't stand a chance! - The "Kevin Tyler Treatment"?

0:03:33 > 0:03:37The KTT. Now, there are five elements to the KTT.

0:03:37 > 0:03:40Generosity, humility, flattery...

0:03:40 > 0:03:42You've actually worked this out.

0:03:42 > 0:03:45- ..sincerity, and honesty. - Honesty?!

0:03:45 > 0:03:48Yeah, well, as part of the overall package...

0:03:48 > 0:03:51And that works, does it? With actual girls? Telling the truth?

0:03:51 > 0:03:53MOBILE PHONE RINGS

0:03:53 > 0:03:56Learn from your Uncle Kevin. Never lie to a woman.

0:03:56 > 0:04:00- Well, there's lies and there's lies. - The truth, the whole truth

0:04:00 > 0:04:04and nothing but the truth. Trust me. Hello?

0:04:04 > 0:04:07'Hi! Sorry I'm late! I'm on the way now.'

0:04:07 > 0:04:09That's no problem, you naughty girl!

0:04:09 > 0:04:11'Sorry?!'

0:04:11 > 0:04:14- Jennifer Hill, you are a very naughty texter.- 'What?!'

0:04:14 > 0:04:17You know what I'm talking about!

0:04:17 > 0:04:20I'll see you very shortly, you dark horse

0:04:21 > 0:04:24And she has hidden depths.

0:04:24 > 0:04:26I've been getting these messages all day.

0:04:26 > 0:04:29Very filthy text messages, actually. Have a look at this.

0:04:29 > 0:04:31I don't want to see your sex chat!

0:04:31 > 0:04:33I've got a voicemail. It's not sex chat!

0:04:33 > 0:04:37'Hi. It's me, Jenny.

0:04:37 > 0:04:39'Are you waiting for me?

0:04:39 > 0:04:41'Are you excited, Kev?

0:04:41 > 0:04:44'You naughty boy!

0:04:44 > 0:04:46'I'm excited.'

0:04:49 > 0:04:50Oh, no.

0:04:52 > 0:04:54What have I done?

0:05:14 > 0:05:17I rang Jennifer yesterday.

0:05:17 > 0:05:19Arranged to meet her here tonight.

0:05:19 > 0:05:22Then I sent her a text. Confirming the details.

0:05:22 > 0:05:26- And?- I started getting these sexy text messages back.

0:05:26 > 0:05:27And?

0:05:27 > 0:05:30I sent the text to Jenny.

0:05:30 > 0:05:31And the problem is?

0:05:31 > 0:05:35Jenny! Jennifer, Jenny...

0:05:35 > 0:05:36Two different girls?

0:05:36 > 0:05:38Jenny is Big Dave's girlfriend.

0:05:38 > 0:05:42So, you've got a mate called Big Dave?

0:05:42 > 0:05:44You've been sending his girlfriend dirty text messages?

0:05:44 > 0:05:47And you've invited her here, for champagne,

0:05:47 > 0:05:50with sophisticated Jennifer?

0:05:50 > 0:05:51What am I going to do?!

0:05:54 > 0:05:57That is not funny!

0:05:58 > 0:06:00This Jenny - blonde or brunette?

0:06:00 > 0:06:02Kevin!

0:06:23 > 0:06:25It's all right. It's all right to be nervous.

0:06:25 > 0:06:28- Jenny, look. The thing is... - I know!

0:06:28 > 0:06:31- No, you don't understand. - I do. I know. This is bad.

0:06:31 > 0:06:32You and me.

0:06:32 > 0:06:36We shouldn't be doing this, but I am so pleased that we are.

0:06:36 > 0:06:40I know you like me. You look at me sometimes, Kevin.

0:06:40 > 0:06:43- It's lovely the way you look at me. - No, I don't.

0:06:43 > 0:06:45I don't look at her. Dave's my mate.

0:06:45 > 0:06:49And that's what makes it so tragic. Like a tragedy.

0:06:49 > 0:06:50You and me.

0:06:50 > 0:06:54Looking, watching, needing...

0:06:54 > 0:06:57And Dave is so boring these days!

0:06:57 > 0:06:59- No, we can't!- We must!

0:06:59 > 0:07:01Don't you see? We can be happy, Kevin.

0:07:01 > 0:07:03- But you're engaged. - Not actually engaged.

0:07:03 > 0:07:07Technically, we only announced that we're going to get engaged.

0:07:07 > 0:07:09Anyway, I've left him.

0:07:09 > 0:07:11- You what?- Mm-hm!

0:07:13 > 0:07:16Let's not talk about him.

0:07:16 > 0:07:17Let's not talk at all

0:07:22 > 0:07:24Jenny! Jenny, enough!

0:07:24 > 0:07:25BARMAN CLEARS THROAT

0:07:25 > 0:07:29Lipstick. I'm sure Jennifer will understand.

0:07:29 > 0:07:33Understand what? And it's Jenny.

0:07:33 > 0:07:35I'm Jenny! No-one calls me Jennifer.

0:07:35 > 0:07:38You can call me Jen, but not Jennifer. I hate Jennifer!...

0:07:38 > 0:07:40They can't meet.

0:07:40 > 0:07:42Oh, they can. Any moment now.

0:07:42 > 0:07:45Show me a Jennifer, and I'll show you someone up their own...

0:07:45 > 0:07:46What am I going to do?

0:07:46 > 0:07:51Just tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.

0:07:53 > 0:07:55HE SIGHS

0:08:01 > 0:08:02Jennifer, hi. This is Jenny.

0:08:02 > 0:08:06I'll be with you in one minute. Just sorting out a misunderstanding.

0:08:06 > 0:08:10Jenny, Jack's going to call you a cab take you home.

0:08:10 > 0:08:13Tomorrow, you're going to speak to Dave

0:08:13 > 0:08:15and sort everything out all right?

0:08:15 > 0:08:17Are you dumping me?

0:08:17 > 0:08:21I'm not dumping you, because I've not been with you.

0:08:21 > 0:08:23Just go with Jack. Please.

0:08:26 > 0:08:28Yeah, I'll go with Jack.

0:08:28 > 0:08:32I'll go with Jack and I'll show him what you're going to miss!

0:08:32 > 0:08:34Let's just find you that cab, eh?

0:08:34 > 0:08:36- I'm so sorry.- Loser!

0:08:36 > 0:08:41I hate you! Losing...loser!

0:08:41 > 0:08:44She's a friend. Girlfriend of a mate.

0:08:44 > 0:08:47She got the wrong end of the stick I didn't know what to do.

0:08:47 > 0:08:50- Are you telling the truth?- Yes!

0:08:50 > 0:08:54I know this looks bad. But honesty is the most important thing.

0:08:54 > 0:08:56I don't want us to start off on a lie.

0:08:59 > 0:09:02I don't want us to start at all.

0:09:02 > 0:09:03Jenny...er, Jennifer!

0:09:03 > 0:09:06Kev, look.

0:09:06 > 0:09:08I was looking forward to tonight. Really.

0:09:08 > 0:09:11But you're clearly not the man I thought you were.

0:09:11 > 0:09:15Let's just keep things simple, and not get involved.

0:09:15 > 0:09:19- But I told you the truth! - More fool you.

0:09:25 > 0:09:28'The whole truth and nothing but the truth.'

0:09:28 > 0:09:30SOUND OF TAPE REWINDING

0:09:45 > 0:09:47DOOR SLAMS

0:09:47 > 0:09:50- Hey! Hey, not so fast! - We were that close to disaster.

0:09:50 > 0:09:53- What? Where are we going? - I'm taking you home.

0:09:53 > 0:09:56But we're going out! You and me. You texted.

0:09:56 > 0:09:58- I didn't text.- You did!

0:09:58 > 0:10:00Jenny, I didn't text you.

0:10:00 > 0:10:02It was an accident, all right? I'm sorry.

0:10:02 > 0:10:04I need a drink.

0:10:05 > 0:10:08Where are you going now? Jenny!

0:10:15 > 0:10:17Jennifer, isn't it?

0:10:17 > 0:10:21- I'm meeting someone.- Kevin.

0:10:21 > 0:10:23- He was here.- Oh.

0:10:23 > 0:10:27No, I mean he was here, but he had to go and... He had to...

0:10:27 > 0:10:30MOBILE PHONE RINGS

0:10:30 > 0:10:32Oh, medical emergency. He'll be back soon.

0:10:32 > 0:10:36- Right.- He's a doctor.

0:10:36 > 0:10:38Yes, he is.

0:10:54 > 0:10:57- I knew you'd come. - Jenny, I have to get back

0:10:57 > 0:11:00- You're buying. - OK, one drink and then we go.

0:11:00 > 0:11:03Whatever she wants.

0:11:03 > 0:11:06Vodka and cranberry, please

0:11:09 > 0:11:11MOBILE PHONE RINGS

0:11:16 > 0:11:17The Icon.

0:11:17 > 0:11:19Jack! Is she still there?

0:11:21 > 0:11:23- What are you playing at? - Is she still there?

0:11:23 > 0:11:26Yes. For some reason, she thinks you're on an emergency call.

0:11:26 > 0:11:31- Oh good.- Which part of the whole truth is that, exactly?

0:11:31 > 0:11:33Just keep her there. I won't be long.

0:11:33 > 0:11:35No, I'm not lying for you.

0:11:45 > 0:11:49- Can I get you a drink? - No, thank you. I'll wait.

0:11:55 > 0:11:58- Kev!- Dave!

0:11:58 > 0:12:01Come here! Where've you been, man? I've missed you.

0:12:01 > 0:12:04Oh, busy. You know, this and that. Exams and stuff.

0:12:04 > 0:12:06- Sorry, mate. Do you mind if I...? - Yeah, yeah. Go on.

0:12:09 > 0:12:11So, er...

0:12:11 > 0:12:13How are things?

0:12:13 > 0:12:16- How's Jenny? - Jenny's seeing someone.

0:12:16 > 0:12:18- No way! She dumped you?- No.

0:12:18 > 0:12:20Technically, we are still together.

0:12:20 > 0:12:22But I know she's seeing someone.

0:12:22 > 0:12:25She told Sian she was going out with me tonight.

0:12:25 > 0:12:28- So?- She told me she was going out with Sian!

0:12:28 > 0:12:30- Stupid little...!- Oi!

0:12:30 > 0:12:33She might not be the brightest teaspoon in the drawer,

0:12:33 > 0:12:37- but she's mine. All right?- Yeah.

0:12:37 > 0:12:40Sorry, mate. It's just...

0:12:40 > 0:12:43You know, if I catch him...

0:12:43 > 0:12:46- If I catch the little... - Yeah, yeah! Enough said.

0:12:59 > 0:13:02- Is this a single?! - We have to go. Dave's here.

0:13:02 > 0:13:05- What?!- Dave's here!- Oops!

0:13:07 > 0:13:08- Sian!- Oops again.

0:13:08 > 0:13:11You told Dave you were with Sian and Sian you were with Dave!

0:13:11 > 0:13:14They're brother and sister. They do talk, you know!

0:13:14 > 0:13:16- Well...- And you told me you'd split up with Dave!

0:13:16 > 0:13:19- Not actually split up - Not actually split up!?

0:13:19 > 0:13:22I've decided to split up with him.

0:13:22 > 0:13:24Look, why don't we just tell them?

0:13:24 > 0:13:26Because Dave will tear me limb from limb!

0:13:26 > 0:13:28- Sian!- No!

0:13:28 > 0:13:32We can't hide. She's going to spot us any moment

0:13:32 > 0:13:34Not if we keep very quiet and very still.

0:13:34 > 0:13:37Sian! Sian, over here!

0:13:38 > 0:13:39Oops!

0:13:39 > 0:13:42Oh, dear(!) I think she heard me.

0:13:42 > 0:13:45We'll just have to tell her the truth!

0:13:46 > 0:13:49Sian! Thank goodness.

0:13:49 > 0:13:53Hi Sian, Kevin and I have an announcement to make

0:13:53 > 0:13:57- What's going on?- It's complicated. - It's lovely.

0:13:57 > 0:13:59- She's hitting on me. - What?! She wouldn't!

0:13:59 > 0:14:01- She did.- What have you done?

0:14:01 > 0:14:04Nothing! Please, take her. Talk to her. Get her away from me.

0:14:04 > 0:14:06- She's drunk. - Tell me about it!.

0:14:06 > 0:14:08- You creep!- What?!

0:14:08 > 0:14:12- You tricked her into coming out. Made her lie to Dave and me.- No.

0:14:12 > 0:14:15- Have you been buying her drinks? - No!

0:14:15 > 0:14:18- Jenny, did Kev buy this for you? - He's lovely.

0:14:18 > 0:14:22- It was just the one. - And he bought me champagne!

0:14:22 > 0:14:25What was the plan Kev? Get her drunk? Take her home?

0:14:25 > 0:14:27- There wasn't a plan. - You're disgusting!

0:14:27 > 0:14:28Kevin!

0:14:28 > 0:14:31Leave him. Come on, we'll find Dave and take you home.

0:14:36 > 0:14:37TAPE REWINDING

0:14:37 > 0:14:40'We'll just have to tell her the truth!'

0:14:40 > 0:14:42Sian!

0:14:42 > 0:14:44Hey, Kev. Was that Jenny?

0:14:44 > 0:14:46No. You are looking hot.

0:14:46 > 0:14:48Really?

0:14:48 > 0:14:51Yeah, really.

0:14:57 > 0:14:58How hot?

0:14:58 > 0:15:00Hot-hot. Super-hot.

0:15:00 > 0:15:03- To be honest... - You have gorgeous eyes.

0:15:03 > 0:15:04I've never noticed that before.

0:15:04 > 0:15:07That's because we're not usually this close.

0:15:07 > 0:15:08No. Pity.

0:15:08 > 0:15:12- Your brother would kill me! - He doesn't have to know.

0:15:12 > 0:15:15- He's always trying to protect me. - He is very protective

0:15:15 > 0:15:18Well, I'm all grown up now, in case you hadn't noticed.

0:15:18 > 0:15:20I don't care what he thinks.

0:15:20 > 0:15:22I know what I want.

0:15:22 > 0:15:24And I know what you want.

0:15:24 > 0:15:26I'm sorry, I can't! I can't!

0:15:26 > 0:15:29Er, I'm... I'm busting!

0:15:41 > 0:15:43'Your call cannot be taken at the moment...'

0:15:43 > 0:15:46'This is Kevin. Leave a message and I'll get back to you.'

0:15:46 > 0:15:48Kevin, where are you? This is stupid.

0:15:48 > 0:15:51- Jack, mate, this is getting stupid. - Call me when you get this.

0:15:51 > 0:15:54Just call me, OK? I haven't a clue what to do.

0:15:54 > 0:15:56- You've got some nerve! - Look, mate, I'm sorry.

0:15:56 > 0:16:00I really appreciate this. I know you didn't ask for this.

0:16:00 > 0:16:01I'm meant to be working here

0:16:01 > 0:16:05and this girl doesn't deserve to be sat in a bar on her own

0:16:05 > 0:16:09waiting to see if some idiot decides which girl he's seeing tonight.

0:16:09 > 0:16:11I'm in a tight spot. I need your help.

0:16:11 > 0:16:15Whatever you can do to keep her there would be greatly appreciated.

0:16:15 > 0:16:18Get her another drink, some nuts or whatever.

0:16:18 > 0:16:21If this is the Kevin Tyler Treatment it stinks, mate.

0:16:21 > 0:16:23Sorry, mate. I'm rambling.

0:16:23 > 0:16:25- Just... - MOBILE BEEPS

0:16:25 > 0:16:27Jenny's calling me.

0:16:27 > 0:16:29Mate, I've got to go. Please, you're doing a great job.

0:16:29 > 0:16:31Call me when you get this.

0:16:34 > 0:16:37You're a diamond geezer. I'll speak to you later, mate.

0:16:37 > 0:16:39I owe you, OK? Call me.

0:16:52 > 0:16:54- Jen!- Go away!

0:16:54 > 0:16:59- Don't be like that, please. - I don't want you! I want him.

0:16:59 > 0:17:01What? He's here?

0:17:01 > 0:17:02I don't know where he is.

0:17:12 > 0:17:13MOBILE PHONE RINGS

0:17:15 > 0:17:17Dave!

0:17:17 > 0:17:21He's here. He's in the club. Can you meet me by the cloakroom?

0:17:21 > 0:17:24Dave, this could be a terrible misunderstanding

0:17:24 > 0:17:27I need you, man. We're going to track him down,

0:17:27 > 0:17:29then we'll see about this little misunderstanding.

0:17:29 > 0:17:32Right, OK. Give me five minutes.

0:17:32 > 0:17:34You've got it.

0:17:39 > 0:17:40PHONE RINGS

0:17:40 > 0:17:41The Icon.

0:17:41 > 0:17:44- Jack! - 'Where the hell are you?'

0:17:44 > 0:17:47You can't do this to her or me! What am I supposed to tell her?

0:17:47 > 0:17:49Jack, I'm trapped. There's no way out.

0:17:49 > 0:17:52Send her home.

0:17:52 > 0:17:55What?! You're giving up? I thought you said she was special.

0:17:55 > 0:17:58You don't understand. There's Dave. And there's Sian.

0:17:58 > 0:17:59Where the hell are you?

0:17:59 > 0:18:01Nitrogen. Hiding.

0:18:02 > 0:18:05Well, you just fix it.

0:18:05 > 0:18:10- This girl's got everything. If you don't make a move I will.- No!

0:18:10 > 0:18:12Well, what are you going to do about it?

0:18:12 > 0:18:14OK. I'll face them. I'll face them all.

0:18:14 > 0:18:17- What are you going to tell them? - I don't know.

0:18:17 > 0:18:21- The truth, the whole truth... - And nothing but the truth.

0:18:21 > 0:18:23Yeah, you're right.

0:18:29 > 0:18:32Kev! Where'd you come from?

0:18:32 > 0:18:36- Dave, I...- I don't even know what this bloke looks like!

0:18:36 > 0:18:38Actually, you do.

0:18:38 > 0:18:41- What you on about?- It's me!

0:18:41 > 0:18:44What?!

0:18:47 > 0:18:49I'm not seeing her! I thought she was someone else!

0:18:49 > 0:18:52- You thought she was someone else? - It's complicated.

0:18:52 > 0:18:55- What, has she got an identical twin sister?- No.

0:18:55 > 0:18:58Separated at birth, were they?

0:18:58 > 0:19:02You got this sister accidentally mixed up with my Jenny?

0:19:02 > 0:19:05- Dave, mate! - I'm not your mate!

0:19:05 > 0:19:06VIDEO REWINDING

0:19:06 > 0:19:11'..the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.'

0:19:21 > 0:19:23Kev! Where'd you come from?

0:19:23 > 0:19:25- Have you found him yet?- No.

0:19:25 > 0:19:27But he's here. I know he's here.

0:19:27 > 0:19:30You don't even know what he looks like.

0:19:30 > 0:19:33- I'll know him when I see him. - I doubt it.- What?- What?

0:19:33 > 0:19:36You know something. You know!

0:19:36 > 0:19:38No, I don't!

0:19:38 > 0:19:40- Who is he?! - Honestly, Dave! It's nobody!

0:19:40 > 0:19:44Figment of her imagination! In the morning, she won't remember.

0:19:44 > 0:19:46Leave him alone! It wasn't Kevin!

0:19:46 > 0:19:49- Course it wasn't! - What?- Honest, Dave!

0:19:49 > 0:19:50- It was me.- What?

0:19:50 > 0:19:52It was me who came on to Kevin, all right?

0:19:52 > 0:19:56- So, if you want to hit someone... - I wasn't going to hit him.

0:20:17 > 0:20:20Are you sure you don't want a drink?

0:20:20 > 0:20:22How well do you know him?

0:20:22 > 0:20:24Not that well.

0:20:24 > 0:20:27All those phone calls. That was him, wasn't it?

0:20:27 > 0:20:29No.

0:20:29 > 0:20:31Liar!

0:20:32 > 0:20:35Is he in trouble?

0:20:35 > 0:20:37No.

0:20:37 > 0:20:39So, it was him.

0:20:39 > 0:20:40He's fine.

0:20:40 > 0:20:44Well, actually, he has got himself into a bit of a tricky situation.

0:20:44 > 0:20:47But he is coming. He'll be here soon.

0:20:47 > 0:20:49And where is he now?

0:20:49 > 0:20:52He's really looking forward to seeing you.

0:20:52 > 0:20:53Where is he?

0:20:53 > 0:20:58He was telling me all about you. Very special...

0:20:58 > 0:21:00Where?

0:21:00 > 0:21:02Nitrogen. It's a nightclub

0:21:02 > 0:21:05- round the corner on Plymouth Street. - I know where it is.

0:21:05 > 0:21:09He'll be here any moment. I'm that sure he'll explain.

0:21:18 > 0:21:20Come on, kiss me, Kev! I know you want to.

0:21:20 > 0:21:24- Stop it. This has got to stop. - Get your thieving hands off him, you slag!

0:21:24 > 0:21:26Thought you were my friend! MOBILE PHONE RINGS

0:21:26 > 0:21:28Kevin Tyler.

0:21:28 > 0:21:30- She's coming to find you. - Is it her?

0:21:30 > 0:21:33The one you thought you were texting? You and Sian!?

0:21:33 > 0:21:35What's she talking about?

0:21:35 > 0:21:37Kevin! Not you and her?

0:21:37 > 0:21:38'Kevin!'

0:21:38 > 0:21:40Kevin, are you there?

0:21:40 > 0:21:42'And you called me a slag?!'

0:21:42 > 0:21:44That's what I said!

0:21:44 > 0:21:47Girls! Stop it! Stop it! Both of you!

0:21:47 > 0:21:49- What's going on? Are you there? - Oi!

0:21:49 > 0:21:53That is my girlfriend! That is my sister!

0:21:53 > 0:21:55Dave, mate...!

0:21:55 > 0:21:56Kevin?

0:21:56 > 0:21:58'Is that Jennifer?

0:21:58 > 0:22:02'The truth, Kevin. The whole truth and nothing but the truth.'

0:22:02 > 0:22:06All right, all right! The truth, OK? I started this all.

0:22:06 > 0:22:09Jennifer, I'm an idiot. Your best bet is to walk away.

0:22:09 > 0:22:11These are my mates and I've let them down.

0:22:11 > 0:22:13Dave, mate. I'm the one you're looking for.

0:22:13 > 0:22:16I invited Jenny... But it was an accident!

0:22:16 > 0:22:18Jenny, Jennifer. Slip of the thumb.

0:22:18 > 0:22:20Get your act together or you'll lose her.

0:22:20 > 0:22:23Sian, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to lead you on.

0:22:23 > 0:22:25It was the first thing to come into my head.

0:22:25 > 0:22:29But, you ARE looking hot! I'm just not on the market.

0:22:29 > 0:22:31And Jenny. You don't want me. Look at him!

0:22:31 > 0:22:35Look at his big, ugly face! You love him and he loves you!

0:22:35 > 0:22:37You're a bunch of idiots!

0:22:37 > 0:22:39- You what? - I mean, honestly...

0:22:42 > 0:22:44I had to do that, mate.

0:22:46 > 0:22:49You can call me an idiot, I don't care.

0:22:49 > 0:22:53Call my little sister an idiot and I'd probably agree with you.

0:22:53 > 0:22:55But you do not call my girlfriend an idiot

0:22:55 > 0:22:57and expect to get away with it.

0:22:58 > 0:23:02He's probably going to need something on that.

0:23:02 > 0:23:03Kevin!

0:23:09 > 0:23:11Hold still!

0:23:11 > 0:23:13It stings!

0:23:13 > 0:23:15That'll be the bubbles.

0:23:15 > 0:23:18Honestly, it was like watching a couple of boys from my class

0:23:18 > 0:23:20Nine year olds!

0:23:20 > 0:23:22Nine year olds don't punch so hard.

0:23:24 > 0:23:27- I thought you'd run a mile. - And miss all the fun?

0:23:27 > 0:23:30You're amazing.

0:23:30 > 0:23:33Hold that thought.

0:23:37 > 0:23:39- Wow!- Yeah.

0:23:39 > 0:23:41What did you tell her?

0:23:41 > 0:23:43The truth.

0:23:43 > 0:23:45I told her the truth.

0:23:51 > 0:23:55I'm sorry. This wasn't exactly the evening I had planned.

0:23:55 > 0:23:57- It wasn't your fault. - Yes, it was.

0:23:57 > 0:24:00I mixed up your phone number with Jenny's.

0:24:00 > 0:24:03I accidentally invited her out.

0:24:03 > 0:24:06I started it all.

0:24:06 > 0:24:09Well, this is me.

0:24:09 > 0:24:12Thank you for an...interesting evening.

0:24:22 > 0:24:25You invited her out?

0:24:25 > 0:24:27By accident.

0:24:27 > 0:24:28By text?

0:24:28 > 0:24:31Yes.

0:24:31 > 0:24:35So, when you called me a... What was it? A naughty texter?

0:24:35 > 0:24:37Ah.

0:24:37 > 0:24:40You and Jenny sent smutty texts to each other?

0:24:40 > 0:24:42- I thought it was you!- Really?

0:24:42 > 0:24:46- No, I meant... - How naughty was I, Kevin?

0:24:48 > 0:24:49It wasn't you, though.

0:24:49 > 0:24:51But you thought it was.

0:24:51 > 0:24:54I just played along.

0:24:56 > 0:24:59I bet you thought you were on a promise.

0:24:59 > 0:25:01Did you bring your toothbrush?

0:25:03 > 0:25:06SHE PULLS ZIPPER

0:25:09 > 0:25:11- Kevin?- OK, guilty as charged.

0:25:11 > 0:25:13But I had mitigating circumstances.

0:25:23 > 0:25:27No! Jenny! Er, I meant Jennifer! Jennifer!

0:25:27 > 0:25:29THUNDER RUMBLES

0:25:39 > 0:25:41I can't wait to see you.

0:25:44 > 0:25:48We'll make sure Joe's breathing's OK If that takes another day or two,

0:25:48 > 0:25:50it's worth it.

0:25:50 > 0:25:53You look like a woman who knows a great opportunity.

0:25:53 > 0:25:54I know a cheap sales pitch.

0:25:54 > 0:25:58- If you want to wait until you're ready...- I'm ready.

0:26:18 > 0:26:21Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd