0:00:31 > 0:00:35# Now I go cleanin' windows to earn an honest bob
0:00:35 > 0:00:40# For a nosy parker it's an interestin' job
0:00:40 > 0:00:41# Now it's a job that just suits me
0:00:41 > 0:00:45# A window cleaner you would be
0:00:45 > 0:00:46# If you can see what I can see
0:00:46 > 0:00:48# When I'm cleanin' windows. #
0:00:48 > 0:00:50Morning!
0:00:50 > 0:00:52I'm sorry, couldn't sleep, I've hoovered, I've dusted,
0:00:52 > 0:00:54and now I'm on these windows.
0:00:54 > 0:00:56Can I come in, or would I contaminate the area?
0:00:56 > 0:00:58Yeah, come on!
0:00:58 > 0:01:02Karen, don't you think you might be going a bit over the top?
0:01:02 > 0:01:04What do you mean?
0:01:04 > 0:01:06Well, we haven't got a good track record with parties.
0:01:06 > 0:01:07This one will be different.
0:01:07 > 0:01:09I've got caterers, so we won't get food poisoning.
0:01:09 > 0:01:12Caterers, how much is that going to cost?
0:01:12 > 0:01:16For the first time in my life, I can afford it.
0:01:16 > 0:01:18We've got a beautiful house, wonderful food.
0:01:18 > 0:01:20What could possibly go... GLASS SMASHES
0:01:20 > 0:01:22What's that!?
0:01:22 > 0:01:25By the look of it, it WAS a pigeon.
0:01:25 > 0:01:28It's left a flipping great crack in the glass!
0:01:28 > 0:01:30- Don't worry. I'll sort it. - Thank you.
0:01:32 > 0:01:35Mum says we can only invite one friend to this party.
0:01:35 > 0:01:36Have you got that many?
0:01:36 > 0:01:40Oh, ha-ha. I suppose you're going to invite that Cillian.
0:01:40 > 0:01:43I could do. Or I might just make him sweat.
0:01:43 > 0:01:47Mind you, it's not going to be much of a party with Mum and Dad here. Who do I know who's sad enough?
0:01:47 > 0:01:50PHONE RINGS
0:01:50 > 0:01:51- Hello?- Ciaran!
0:01:51 > 0:01:53Do you fancy coming to a party this evening?
0:01:53 > 0:01:56Of course. Who else is coming?
0:01:56 > 0:01:58Oh, um, it's going to be a bit quiet.
0:01:58 > 0:02:02You, me and Immie. Some of the new neighbours.
0:02:02 > 0:02:03Really?
0:02:03 > 0:02:07Well, term's over, I don't think many people can make it.
0:02:07 > 0:02:09Right...really?
0:02:09 > 0:02:11Jack!
0:02:11 > 0:02:13Sorry, got to go. See you at seven?
0:02:13 > 0:02:14Right.
0:02:21 > 0:02:26Hi, have you heard Jack Hollins is having a party this evening?
0:02:37 > 0:02:40- How's it going?- Fine. I thought you were going to fix that!
0:02:40 > 0:02:44Yeah, but the glazier can't come till tomorrow.
0:02:44 > 0:02:46- So what are we going to!? - I'll use some gaffer tape.
0:02:46 > 0:02:51You are not using gaffer tape on my conservatory! Use sticky tape.
0:02:51 > 0:02:54Don't put sushi on by the radiator!
0:03:00 > 0:03:02Im?
0:03:02 > 0:03:04I've just been on Cillian's webpage.
0:03:04 > 0:03:07There's a picture of him snogging the face off Suzy Temple.
0:03:07 > 0:03:08Who?
0:03:08 > 0:03:11Some girl at uni. She's doing dentistry.
0:03:11 > 0:03:14Well, that's one way to fill a cavity.
0:03:14 > 0:03:16Not funny!
0:03:16 > 0:03:18Oh, I've had an invitation.
0:03:18 > 0:03:19Oh yes?
0:03:19 > 0:03:24"End of term party. Tonight. Jack Hollins' house."
0:03:24 > 0:03:25What!?
0:03:25 > 0:03:28Did you put Mum's party on the internet?
0:03:28 > 0:03:30Of course not! Who sent it?
0:03:30 > 0:03:33Some guy called...Tom Goodwin. Never heard of him.
0:03:33 > 0:03:36Neither have I. How many people are coming?
0:03:36 > 0:03:38Confirmed guests. 231.
0:03:42 > 0:03:43How do I look?
0:03:43 > 0:03:47Not bad. In fact, you scrub up quite nicely.
0:03:47 > 0:03:50DOORBELL RINGS Well, that's one hell of a compliment coming from you.
0:03:50 > 0:03:52- Watch where you're going!- All right!
0:03:52 > 0:03:55It might help if you opened your eyes for once!
0:03:55 > 0:03:57Mrs Greening.
0:03:57 > 0:03:58Oh. It's you.
0:04:00 > 0:04:05Oh... Oh, I'm so sorry!
0:04:05 > 0:04:08But this is an old favourite of mine, and I thought I'd give it
0:04:08 > 0:04:12one last airing before I took it to the charity shop.
0:04:15 > 0:04:17He's sound asleep.
0:04:17 > 0:04:20Wonderful.
0:04:20 > 0:04:22PHONE BLEEPS
0:04:22 > 0:04:23Daniel?
0:04:23 > 0:04:26Hello. Anything I can get you on the way home?
0:04:26 > 0:04:28Could you pick up that DVD for us?
0:04:28 > 0:04:29Which one?
0:04:29 > 0:04:30Camille De Campagne.
0:04:30 > 0:04:35- Camille De Campagne.- It's French, so there's story and scenery for me,
0:04:35 > 0:04:37and full-frontal nudity for you.
0:04:37 > 0:04:41Always happy to widen my cultural horizons, you know me.
0:04:41 > 0:04:43- And I've got a surprise for you when you get home.- Really?
0:04:43 > 0:04:46Don't get your hopes up. It's nothing like that.
0:04:46 > 0:04:52- Karen was asking if we were going to her party.- What did you say?
0:04:52 > 0:04:54I used baby Joe as an excuse.
0:04:54 > 0:04:56That boy is our get out of jail free card.
0:04:56 > 0:05:00We need never go to another boring social function ever again.
0:05:01 > 0:05:04RINGS DOORBELL
0:05:04 > 0:05:06Another Hollins party.
0:05:06 > 0:05:08I'm definitely not drinking this time.
0:05:08 > 0:05:09And no sushi.
0:05:11 > 0:05:13Karen! You look gorgeous.
0:05:13 > 0:05:16I'm not going to argue! Come on in.
0:05:16 > 0:05:18What's got into you!?
0:05:18 > 0:05:22- It's your big night, you shouldn't have to keep answering the door. - You're up to something?
0:05:22 > 0:05:24Of course not!
0:05:24 > 0:05:26- Hollins! - Jack, where's your party at?
0:05:26 > 0:05:29OK, guys! I know it says online that I'm having a party,
0:05:29 > 0:05:33but someone's played a practical joke on me.
0:05:33 > 0:05:36I promise you, there is no party here this evening.
0:05:36 > 0:05:37Is this the way to the party?
0:05:37 > 0:05:42OK, there is one, but it's not that sort of party.
0:05:42 > 0:05:45It's a...funeral party.
0:05:45 > 0:05:47For my dad.
0:05:47 > 0:05:48Who's just...died.
0:05:48 > 0:05:52Jack! I had no idea. Why didn't you tell me?
0:05:52 > 0:05:56It all happened so suddenly. Get inside.
0:05:57 > 0:06:00So if you could just leave us alone with our grief?
0:06:08 > 0:06:10CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYS
0:06:10 > 0:06:13Well, Mrs Hollins, you have excellent taste in music.
0:06:13 > 0:06:15- I'm very fond of Beethoven.- So am I.
0:06:16 > 0:06:18Though this is actually Mozart.
0:06:25 > 0:06:27Sergeant Hollins!
0:06:27 > 0:06:31I must say this is a very fine house.
0:06:31 > 0:06:33I'm glad you approve.
0:06:33 > 0:06:35But even in a place like this,
0:06:35 > 0:06:38you can still encounter criminal activity.
0:06:38 > 0:06:40Can you?
0:06:40 > 0:06:42Let me tell you all about the anti-social behaviour
0:06:42 > 0:06:44I have noticed in Brunswick Street.
0:06:44 > 0:06:48I just need to make this text. It's official police business.
0:06:48 > 0:06:52Of course. A policeman's work is never done.
0:06:54 > 0:06:57Ciaran! Has Jack abandoned you?
0:06:57 > 0:07:01I think he's a bit...emotional.
0:07:01 > 0:07:06And can I just say I am so sorry for your loss.
0:07:06 > 0:07:10Oh! Well, hey ho, these things happen.
0:07:10 > 0:07:12It's not as if we were close.
0:07:12 > 0:07:14And look on the bright side, I did inherit this house!
0:07:14 > 0:07:16I've just had a text from dad.
0:07:16 > 0:07:18A text?
0:07:18 > 0:07:21"Help! I'm in hell. Please can someone come and rescue me?"
0:07:21 > 0:07:23Serves him right! I've got no sympathy.
0:07:24 > 0:07:27I thought I was going to be stuck there all night.
0:07:28 > 0:07:30Ciaran?
0:07:34 > 0:07:36Hi, Daniel.
0:07:36 > 0:07:37Going somewhere special?
0:07:37 > 0:07:39It will be when I get there. Have a good evening.
0:07:39 > 0:07:41Thank you. And you.
0:07:43 > 0:07:47Hello. How's the trial?
0:07:47 > 0:07:49She's fine.
0:07:49 > 0:07:50You seem a little...
0:07:50 > 0:07:53- Joe has just discovered the art of projectile vomiting.- Nice.
0:07:53 > 0:07:55So I'm off to get changed.
0:07:55 > 0:07:57Lovely. I've got the DVD.
0:07:57 > 0:07:59This is your surprise.
0:07:59 > 0:08:01What is it?
0:08:01 > 0:08:03Remember my dad gave us that lamp for Joe's nursery?
0:08:03 > 0:08:05The one with the dinosaurs?
0:08:05 > 0:08:07He's coming for lunch tomorrow, so we have to put it together.
0:08:07 > 0:08:09When you say "we", you mean...
0:08:09 > 0:08:12You managed Joe's cot. Eventually.
0:08:15 > 0:08:16Thanks.
0:08:16 > 0:08:18So why did you say your dad was dead?
0:08:18 > 0:08:20Why did you put my party on the internet?!
0:08:20 > 0:08:22I didn't...
0:08:22 > 0:08:25I mean, I told Psycho Ben.
0:08:25 > 0:08:27You might as well just put a sign outside.
0:08:27 > 0:08:31But you seemed so sad that term was over and no-one could come...
0:08:31 > 0:08:32Jack!
0:08:36 > 0:08:40So yes, I really do wonder who's running this country.
0:08:40 > 0:08:42Doctor Cassidy!
0:08:42 > 0:08:43Hello!
0:08:43 > 0:08:46Doctor Cassidy, Mrs Greening. Mrs Greening, this is Doctor Cassidy.
0:08:46 > 0:08:48Hello, are you a friend of Karen's?
0:08:48 > 0:08:50I wouldn't go that far. I'm her neighbour.
0:08:50 > 0:08:52This is a very fine neighbourhood.
0:08:52 > 0:08:55It used to be, but there has been a certain...
0:08:55 > 0:08:56element moving in.
0:08:57 > 0:09:00I hope you don't mean Rob and Karen!
0:09:00 > 0:09:02The Hollinses are decent, salt of the earth-type people.
0:09:02 > 0:09:06And yet, sometimes, you take people like that from their natural environment
0:09:06 > 0:09:09and they can be a bit overwhelmed.
0:09:09 > 0:09:10Karen's very happy here.
0:09:10 > 0:09:12And she's done wonderful things with the house.
0:09:12 > 0:09:14She's done her best.
0:09:14 > 0:09:18But no amount of potpourri can mask the smell of human degradation.
0:09:18 > 0:09:19I'm sorry!?
0:09:19 > 0:09:22I'm not one to gossip, but last week,
0:09:22 > 0:09:25this house was used as a bordello.
0:09:25 > 0:09:29That is impossible! How do you know?
0:09:29 > 0:09:34You'd be amazed what you can see through net curtains. Of course, it's all to do with the boy, Jack.
0:09:34 > 0:09:37I'm fairly sure he's been offering his services as a gigolo.
0:09:37 > 0:09:38Hello, Elaine.
0:09:41 > 0:09:44Mrs Hollins! We were just admiring your decorations.
0:09:44 > 0:09:45You have put in a lot of effort.
0:09:45 > 0:09:47Well, come on through,
0:09:47 > 0:09:50because canapes are being served in the conservatory.
0:09:50 > 0:09:53- Did you make them? - No, we got caterers.
0:09:53 > 0:09:54Oh, good.
0:09:59 > 0:10:02- Does it not occur to you to check these things?- What things?
0:10:02 > 0:10:03They put the wrong DVD in the box.
0:10:03 > 0:10:06Instead of Camille De Campagne, they've put in Carry On Camping.
0:10:06 > 0:10:11- Is that the one where Barbara Windsor...- Don't even think it.
0:10:11 > 0:10:15- How's the lamp getting on? - These instructions are useless.
0:10:15 > 0:10:17- Have you even read the instructions? - What?
0:10:17 > 0:10:19You can't remember to get the right DVD.
0:10:19 > 0:10:22You can't assemble the lamp. I'm beginning to detect a theme here.
0:10:22 > 0:10:23OK. Well you want to take over?
0:10:23 > 0:10:26- No, because someone has to look after Joe!- Right.
0:10:27 > 0:10:28Argh!
0:10:32 > 0:10:36DOORBELL RINGS Jack! If you say you're going to do something...
0:10:36 > 0:10:39Kevin! What can I get you?
0:10:39 > 0:10:42- A glass of bubbly would be nice. - Coming right up.
0:10:42 > 0:10:43Come in!
0:10:45 > 0:10:50Jack, this is amazing. You must be really chuffed.
0:10:50 > 0:10:52You're popular, aren't you?
0:10:52 > 0:10:54Why don't you save your breath?
0:10:54 > 0:10:57You might need it later to inflate your girlfriend.
0:10:57 > 0:10:58Don't let him wind you up.
0:10:58 > 0:11:03I'm not. Keep smiling.
0:11:03 > 0:11:04Zara!
0:11:04 > 0:11:06Yes!?
0:11:06 > 0:11:09I've stabbed myself with a screwdriver.
0:11:09 > 0:11:10How is that even possible?!
0:11:10 > 0:11:14- Can you get me a plaster, please? - Why can't you get it?
0:11:14 > 0:11:17- I don't want to bleed all over the kitchen.- Oh!
0:11:17 > 0:11:19I'm doing this for your benefit, you know.
0:11:23 > 0:11:25So much for bedside manner!
0:11:25 > 0:11:28The only reason you hurt yourself is because you're in a sulk.
0:11:28 > 0:11:31And I refuse to reward your attention-seeking behaviour.
0:11:31 > 0:11:35Thank you! I wish I'd gone to Karen's party.
0:11:42 > 0:11:45- Do you want a drink?- No, thanks.
0:11:45 > 0:11:47How about something from our seafood selection?
0:11:47 > 0:11:49I'm fine, thank you.
0:11:51 > 0:11:54Did you see that?
0:11:54 > 0:11:59Cherry just said, "No" to seafood and alcohol.
0:12:01 > 0:12:03She has got a bit of a glow about her.
0:12:03 > 0:12:06Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
0:12:07 > 0:12:08Do you want a drink?
0:12:08 > 0:12:11No, I've got one thanks. But a smile would be nice.
0:12:12 > 0:12:14Who soured your grapes?
0:12:14 > 0:12:19If you must know, I've got dumped on the internet.
0:12:19 > 0:12:22And the guy that did it has posted pictures of himself kissing
0:12:22 > 0:12:24- another girl.- There's only one way to deal with that.
0:12:30 > 0:12:31BOTH: Cherry!
0:12:31 > 0:12:35- Yes?- Do you remember Kerry from nursing college?
0:12:35 > 0:12:37- Keep fit Kerry?- Yeah.
0:12:37 > 0:12:39Well, I bumped into her the other day
0:12:39 > 0:12:42and she was on about having a bit of a reunion.
0:12:42 > 0:12:43I'd be up for that.
0:12:43 > 0:12:47It's going to be, like, quite outdoors - potholing,
0:12:47 > 0:12:51abseiling, that kind of thing. Really physical.
0:12:51 > 0:12:53Really, really physical.
0:12:53 > 0:12:56Sounds fun. When is it?
0:12:56 > 0:13:00She's dead, dead busy, so it won't be till like November, December time.
0:13:00 > 0:13:02Eight, nine months.
0:13:02 > 0:13:04Would that be a problem for you?
0:13:04 > 0:13:07I get it! This is a pregnancy test, isn't it?
0:13:07 > 0:13:08Don't be silly.
0:13:08 > 0:13:11It was bad enough that I had to have my wedding dress altered.
0:13:11 > 0:13:15So I've put on a few pounds. I wish people would stop going on about it.
0:13:15 > 0:13:16Cherry!
0:13:21 > 0:13:25MUMBLED VOICES
0:13:25 > 0:13:27Can I help you?
0:13:28 > 0:13:30I was just...reconnoitring.
0:13:30 > 0:13:34Would you like to reconnoitre yourself downstairs?
0:13:34 > 0:13:35< OK, that's good!
0:13:35 > 0:13:37< Uh, yes!
0:13:42 > 0:13:43Why? Why?!
0:13:43 > 0:13:45Why what?
0:13:45 > 0:13:47Sorry, love, I didn't see you there.
0:13:47 > 0:13:50- Are you making fun of my height? - Again...
0:13:50 > 0:13:53Open my mouth and put my foot in it. Could my life get any worse?
0:13:58 > 0:14:00< Now, why don't you get on top!
0:14:02 > 0:14:05You little sleazebag!
0:14:05 > 0:14:08- No, it's not what you think.- You're not talking your way out this one!
0:14:08 > 0:14:09Look, see!
0:14:09 > 0:14:12- What?!- We were trying to make her boyfriend jealous.
0:14:12 > 0:14:15- You expect me to...- It's true!
0:14:15 > 0:14:18Besides, I think I could do a bit better than Kevin.
0:14:18 > 0:14:21Hello. Is this a private party?
0:14:25 > 0:14:27All I do is make a mess.
0:14:27 > 0:14:29I should pay Kim and Aggie to follow me.
0:14:29 > 0:14:33- Will you stop that!? - What?- Feeling sorry for yourself.
0:14:33 > 0:14:37Instead of going on about your exams, why don't you ask yourself
0:14:37 > 0:14:41- why did Julia and the others want to keep you on?- I don't know.
0:14:42 > 0:14:46Because you've got something. You know how to deal with people.
0:14:46 > 0:14:49And yes, you have to re-sit your exams, but you have qualities
0:14:49 > 0:14:52most doctors would never have if they trained for their entire lifetime.
0:14:52 > 0:14:54Jimmi, I'm hopeless with people.
0:14:54 > 0:14:56The only thing I can do is offend them.
0:14:56 > 0:15:00Then why do people keep coming back and want to be around you?
0:15:00 > 0:15:02I haven't got a clue.
0:15:02 > 0:15:07Well, either they're complete idiots, or because you're worth it.
0:15:08 > 0:15:11You might be the loveliest man alive.
0:15:11 > 0:15:14So go back in there, with your head held high.
0:15:16 > 0:15:18Just wipe the moustache, just a little...
0:15:28 > 0:15:31Is nobody having any seafood?
0:15:31 > 0:15:32DOORBELL RINGS
0:15:32 > 0:15:34Jack!
0:15:34 > 0:15:37We've got winkles, cockles, whelks and...
0:15:37 > 0:15:39DOORBELL RINGS Jack!
0:15:40 > 0:15:43Are you all right, Mrs Tembe?
0:15:43 > 0:15:47Yes, yes. I am fine, thank you.
0:15:47 > 0:15:48Are you sure?
0:15:49 > 0:15:51No, I am not.
0:15:51 > 0:15:53I am scandalised,
0:15:53 > 0:15:56I have heard a very disturbing rumour about your son, Jack.
0:15:56 > 0:15:58A rumour?
0:15:58 > 0:16:02Someone said this house was recently used as a brothel.
0:16:02 > 0:16:05And your son has been offering his services.
0:16:05 > 0:16:07A rent boy?!
0:16:07 > 0:16:09The word used was "gigolo".
0:16:09 > 0:16:13Saying it in Italian doesn't make it any better. Right.
0:16:13 > 0:16:17I think I know exactly who's spreading this rumour.
0:16:17 > 0:16:18DRUNKEN SINGING
0:16:18 > 0:16:22Can I just say, we're not having a party tonight.
0:16:22 > 0:16:25Look! This is my mum's house! Please, go away!
0:16:25 > 0:16:27All right, move along, the party's over.
0:16:27 > 0:16:30ALL: Party, party, party!
0:16:30 > 0:16:32Get out! Get away from my house!
0:16:32 > 0:16:36And you keep your balls away from my windows.
0:16:36 > 0:16:37Move it!
0:16:40 > 0:16:43I want you to clear this mess up, and when you've done that...
0:16:43 > 0:16:46- Yes?- ..I want a word with you.
0:16:48 > 0:16:51- Your mum is amazing!- Hardly.
0:16:51 > 0:16:54Rugby players aren't known for their intelligence.
0:16:54 > 0:16:58- Blokes with oddly-shaped balls and brains the size of a peanut.- Jack!
0:16:58 > 0:17:01They're brain dead, knuckle-dragging Neanderthals.
0:17:07 > 0:17:08BABY GURGLES
0:17:08 > 0:17:10Hello, mate.
0:17:14 > 0:17:19Well, your mum and I are barely speaking.
0:17:21 > 0:17:24I nearly lost a finger.
0:17:24 > 0:17:26But you do now have a magic lamp.
0:17:26 > 0:17:30And if anything happens to me or your mum,
0:17:30 > 0:17:34you have a herd of dinosaurs ready to keep an eye on you.
0:17:43 > 0:17:45Are you all right?
0:17:45 > 0:17:47Yes, why wouldn't I be?
0:17:47 > 0:17:51I'm in my dream home, with all my lovely friends around me.
0:17:51 > 0:17:53Like someone's smiling down on me.
0:17:53 > 0:17:55THUNDER CLAPS
0:17:55 > 0:17:58There seems to be a bit of a situation out there.
0:17:58 > 0:18:02Oh, no. Jack had some friends round, but they're gone now.
0:18:02 > 0:18:06No, they're not, and they've just tied him up with the washing line.
0:18:06 > 0:18:07SHE LAUGHS
0:18:07 > 0:18:09Boys will be boys!
0:18:16 > 0:18:19Oi! What do you think you're doing?
0:18:19 > 0:18:20I'm sorry.
0:18:20 > 0:18:22I was just taking a few morsels home for Hugh.
0:18:22 > 0:18:24Have I committed some kind of faux pas?
0:18:24 > 0:18:29No, I mean telling everyone my son's a rent boy.
0:18:29 > 0:18:32Goodness! What a colourful turn of phrase you have.
0:18:32 > 0:18:35You've done nothing but snipe at us since we got here.
0:18:35 > 0:18:40I think you're jealous because our house is nicer than yours.
0:18:40 > 0:18:42Oh, Mrs Hollins!
0:18:44 > 0:18:49Believe me, your house is built on very shaky foundations.
0:18:58 > 0:19:01- Hello?- Sorry, did I leave my phone here?- I have no idea.
0:19:01 > 0:19:04I think I did. And it's a bit hard when some guy gives you his number
0:19:04 > 0:19:06and you have to write it on your hand.
0:19:06 > 0:19:08I'll have a look.
0:19:11 > 0:19:13DANIEL MUMBLES TO BABY
0:19:14 > 0:19:17'What's that? Yes, you are beautiful.'
0:19:17 > 0:19:21- Here we go.- Thanks Zara. How's Joe? - He's fine. He's with Daniel.
0:19:21 > 0:19:24'You're the most precious person in the whole wide world.'
0:19:24 > 0:19:25Aw!
0:19:25 > 0:19:28'I want you to know it's not your fault that mummy and daddy argue.'
0:19:28 > 0:19:29We don't!
0:19:29 > 0:19:33'It's not your fault we can't have a civilised conversation.
0:19:33 > 0:19:35- 'That we never have sex.' - We do!
0:19:35 > 0:19:38'It's just the way we are, really.
0:19:38 > 0:19:42'And you are the glue that will keep us together,
0:19:42 > 0:19:46'through the good times and the bad. Goodnight, Joe.'
0:19:52 > 0:19:55Karen, I'm really concerned about this situation.
0:19:55 > 0:19:57I wouldn't worry.
0:19:57 > 0:19:59- They don't look very friendly. - Well, don't look!
0:19:59 > 0:20:02- They've started mud wrestling. - It's just a bit of fun.
0:20:02 > 0:20:06Well in my country, we would not do such a thing with a cone.
0:20:06 > 0:20:08- Do you want me to go and have a word?- No!
0:20:08 > 0:20:13OK, everyone, if you'd like to look this way, please.
0:20:17 > 0:20:20An awful lot of people have had a dream.
0:20:20 > 0:20:25ABBA had one, obviously. And Martin Luther King.
0:20:25 > 0:20:29But my dream was to have a conservatory.
0:20:29 > 0:20:32A place where I could sit and...
0:20:35 > 0:20:37..look at The moon. Or the sun.
0:20:37 > 0:20:40Depending on what time of day it was.
0:20:40 > 0:20:47But my dream has come true. I'm living the dream.
0:20:47 > 0:20:50I'm in my conservatory. And it's wonderful...
0:20:55 > 0:20:58Are you OK, Mum?
0:21:02 > 0:21:05Oh, dear, your dress is ruined.
0:21:05 > 0:21:07But as I was just about to throw mine away,
0:21:07 > 0:21:09you're more than welcome to have it.
0:21:13 > 0:21:16It's normal for the man to feel ignored when the baby comes along.
0:21:16 > 0:21:18Why don't you go back to your club and snog someone?!
0:21:18 > 0:21:20Well, that's him fast asl...
0:21:20 > 0:21:22Aliona!
0:21:22 > 0:21:24Bye, then! See you guys next week!
0:21:29 > 0:21:32I suppose you heard me saying goodnight to Joe.
0:21:32 > 0:21:34You knew perfectly well that that monitor was on.
0:21:34 > 0:21:38Yes. Yes, I did, but I didn't know she was here.
0:21:39 > 0:21:41Why don't you just talk to me?
0:21:44 > 0:21:47Because sometimes, it's easier to talk to Joe.
0:21:49 > 0:21:52And we never seem to get the chance these days.
0:21:53 > 0:21:55It's not that bad.
0:21:56 > 0:21:58No, but...
0:21:58 > 0:22:00I came home and I wanted a quiet night in,
0:22:00 > 0:22:02and I was given a ridiculous DIY task!
0:22:02 > 0:22:06I only gave you that while I slipped into something more comfortable
0:22:06 > 0:22:08that wasn't covered in baby vomit.
0:22:12 > 0:22:15I'm sorry, OK?
0:22:19 > 0:22:20You should be.
0:22:22 > 0:22:24And I promise if I have anything else to say,
0:22:24 > 0:22:27I'll say it to your face.
0:22:29 > 0:22:31Good.
0:22:32 > 0:22:35Do you want to see the lamp or not?
0:22:46 > 0:22:48Well...
0:22:48 > 0:22:51Thank you for a memorable evening.
0:22:51 > 0:22:55Yes, the food was ruined, and so was the conservatory.
0:22:55 > 0:22:58But, it was only by the grace of God,
0:22:58 > 0:23:00no-one needed medical attention.
0:23:02 > 0:23:03Don't mention it.
0:23:03 > 0:23:05Bye!
0:23:07 > 0:23:08Go on. Say something.
0:23:08 > 0:23:12Oh, Mrs Hollins. It wasn't much of a party.
0:23:12 > 0:23:17But it will make the most marvellous anecdote.
0:23:22 > 0:23:24Why does it always happen to me?
0:23:26 > 0:23:28I don't ask for much in life!
0:23:28 > 0:23:30Come here!
0:23:35 > 0:23:38So. Let there be light.
0:23:42 > 0:23:44Aw!
0:23:44 > 0:23:47A stegosaurus.
0:23:47 > 0:23:49A diplodocus.
0:23:49 > 0:23:53You know perfectly well you haven't a clue what they are.
0:23:53 > 0:23:56I wonder what the thinking was behind putting dinosaurs
0:23:56 > 0:23:57in a child's bedroom.
0:23:57 > 0:24:01To a small child, they represent authority figures. Grown-ups.
0:24:01 > 0:24:02Us.
0:24:02 > 0:24:04So that's what I've turned into.
0:24:04 > 0:24:06That's what we've both turned into.
0:24:06 > 0:24:08But on a positive note, that makes us
0:24:08 > 0:24:12the most powerful creatures ever to have walked the planet.
0:24:12 > 0:24:13I can cope with that.
0:24:13 > 0:24:19And we use our power to protect the most precious creature in the world.
0:24:21 > 0:24:23Yes. We do. Goodnight, Joe.
0:24:36 > 0:24:40- That's the last time that I ever have a party. - Can I have that in writing?
0:24:40 > 0:24:42Oh, come on, it wasn't that bad.
0:24:42 > 0:24:43Really?
0:24:43 > 0:24:45OK, so the conservatory might need mending
0:24:45 > 0:24:47but most people liked the house.
0:24:47 > 0:24:50I've managed to save some of the seafood selection.
0:24:50 > 0:24:54Got some cockles, crabs, some mussels and crayfish.
0:24:54 > 0:24:58- Urgh, that is gross.- What?
0:24:58 > 0:25:00That one just moved.
0:25:00 > 0:25:01It can't have done.
0:25:03 > 0:25:06She's right, you know. Half these molluscs are mobile.
0:25:06 > 0:25:08No wonder no-one touched them.
0:25:08 > 0:25:12Hang on! Cynthia put a load of them in her handbag.
0:25:12 > 0:25:14Did she?! Well, I tell you what, right now,
0:25:14 > 0:25:16her handbag will be crawling its way back to the sea!
0:25:16 > 0:25:20And here's hoping she crawls straight in after it!
0:25:22 > 0:25:24It's alive!
0:25:34 > 0:25:37SHE SCREAMS
0:25:39 > 0:25:42Carter's back and he's bearing gifts.
0:25:42 > 0:25:43Oh, Doctor Carter.
0:25:43 > 0:25:45I want to die.
0:25:45 > 0:25:46What, no. Danny, no!
0:25:46 > 0:25:51Look at me. I'm a prisoner.
0:25:53 > 0:25:55We had a power cut. What's the noise?
0:25:55 > 0:25:57Whales.
0:25:57 > 0:25:59You're THE Danny Curran. I can't believe it.
0:25:59 > 0:26:02You lost the league for us in '98.
0:26:07 > 0:26:11Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd