Henry Dear's Big Day

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0:00:34 > 0:00:38- How long's it take to get to the Scillies, anyway?- Too long.

0:00:39 > 0:00:42As mother would say, "Let's not spoil the ship for a hay'parth of tar."

0:00:42 > 0:00:47We're on our honeymoon and you're quoting your mother!

0:00:47 > 0:00:49I'm just saying let's not jump the gun, ay?

0:00:49 > 0:00:51Ten years, Henry!

0:00:51 > 0:00:54Nobody could accuse you of "jumping the gun".

0:00:55 > 0:00:58Are you hot? Is it hot in here?

0:00:58 > 0:01:00GIGGLES

0:01:03 > 0:01:05What's in the bag?

0:01:08 > 0:01:10I told you, you shouldn't have come in.

0:01:10 > 0:01:13The Mill can do without, with me for a bit.

0:01:13 > 0:01:15Well, thank you, but if I'm going to be miserable

0:01:15 > 0:01:18- I may as well have some company. - Who's next?

0:01:18 > 0:01:21- Are you on peace work, or something, this morning?- I'm motivated.

0:01:21 > 0:01:24- Oh, yes?- Dr Khella is accompanying me to a seminar this afternoon -

0:01:24 > 0:01:25Advances In Minor Surgery.

0:01:25 > 0:01:28- Ooh!- Sounds thrilling.

0:01:28 > 0:01:30We have to leave on the stroke of one o'clock.

0:01:30 > 0:01:33- Or he turns you into a pumpkin. - I take it you've arranged cover?

0:01:33 > 0:01:35All sorted. I'm looking forward to it.

0:01:35 > 0:01:37Excellent. Tempus Fugit. Mr Coulthard?

0:01:41 > 0:01:42Oh, great.

0:01:45 > 0:01:46I don't think she wants to talk to you.

0:01:49 > 0:01:52What are you, her guard dog?

0:01:52 > 0:01:54You'll have to excuse my husband,

0:01:54 > 0:01:56where he comes from that passes as charm.

0:01:56 > 0:01:58Oi!

0:02:00 > 0:02:01Karen.

0:02:01 > 0:02:02CLEARS THROAT

0:02:05 > 0:02:07Karen!

0:02:08 > 0:02:10OK. All right.

0:02:10 > 0:02:13I don't mind an audience, if you don't.

0:02:13 > 0:02:15- I wanted to talk about last night!- OK!

0:02:15 > 0:02:18You're going to have to excuse us for five minutes?

0:02:18 > 0:02:19Outside now!

0:02:31 > 0:02:33Obviously I'm the bad guy in all this.

0:02:33 > 0:02:35What are you even doing here?

0:02:35 > 0:02:38You didn't come home last night, what do you think I'm doing here?

0:02:38 > 0:02:40Aw, you were worried?

0:02:40 > 0:02:42Is that a crime now? Of course I was worried.

0:02:42 > 0:02:45I'm surprised you even found the time.

0:02:45 > 0:02:48How many more times do I have to tell you?

0:02:48 > 0:02:50It was work, we were under cover.

0:02:50 > 0:02:52Work you can't tell me about?

0:02:52 > 0:02:54You know the rules. I can't go blabbing to all and sundry,

0:02:54 > 0:02:57- it could have jeopardised the whole operation.- All and sundry?!

0:02:57 > 0:02:58You know what I mean.

0:02:58 > 0:03:01OK, maybe I could have been a little bit more up front about it,

0:03:01 > 0:03:03but we don't have to share every single detail of our lives.

0:03:03 > 0:03:06Anyway, it's not my fault you got the wrong end of the stick!

0:03:06 > 0:03:08I saw you kissing her!

0:03:08 > 0:03:10How is that the wrong end of the stick?

0:03:17 > 0:03:19And just when were you planning on springing that?

0:03:21 > 0:03:24- I didn't think... No, no, no put those back, please.- What?

0:03:24 > 0:03:27Were you just going to waltz into the bedroom on our first night?

0:03:27 > 0:03:30Our first night, Henry, and say, "surprise!"

0:03:30 > 0:03:33I honestly didn't think you'd mind.

0:03:33 > 0:03:34Would you stop that!

0:03:34 > 0:03:37- Pack it in. What is going on? - Er excuse me.

0:03:37 > 0:03:40We're in the middle of something here.

0:03:40 > 0:03:42- Let go.- Take it easy, the pair of you.

0:03:42 > 0:03:44Not until you get back in the cab.

0:03:44 > 0:03:45Rob!

0:03:45 > 0:03:48She really has got you well and truly brainwashed, hasn't she?

0:03:48 > 0:03:50I should have known it'd never work.

0:03:50 > 0:03:53Don't be daft. Give me that.

0:03:53 > 0:03:54I never want to see you again.

0:03:54 > 0:03:56I said give me the bag!

0:03:56 > 0:03:59- Did you hear me? - 70 quid first, mate.

0:03:59 > 0:04:02Penn... How much? That's daylight bleeding robbery.

0:04:02 > 0:04:06- Just hang on. - Penny, come back.

0:04:06 > 0:04:07I'm not paying!

0:04:07 > 0:04:09It's not his fault you've changed your minds.

0:04:09 > 0:04:12We haven't changed our minds.

0:04:13 > 0:04:14You might not have.

0:04:17 > 0:04:21SHE SOBS

0:04:23 > 0:04:26- Are we still on target? - Hmm. With time to spare.

0:04:27 > 0:04:31Can you tell me where your toi..toi...

0:04:31 > 0:04:33- SHE SNIFFS - ..toilet is?

0:04:35 > 0:04:36Don't ask.

0:04:41 > 0:04:43What have you got in here, a body?!

0:04:43 > 0:04:46I'm so sorry, I shouldn't have dragged you into this.

0:04:46 > 0:04:47Don't worry about it.

0:04:47 > 0:04:49Steady on, love!

0:04:51 > 0:04:53Penny.

0:04:56 > 0:04:59Come out, love, please.

0:04:59 > 0:05:00Go away!

0:05:01 > 0:05:04Don't ask me, mate.

0:05:04 > 0:05:06I want a divorce.

0:05:12 > 0:05:15Come on, mate, no-one's going to fall for that one.

0:05:15 > 0:05:16Mate, you want to bet?

0:05:20 > 0:05:24- Lost something?- Yes, my mind. I printed off a list of counsellors.

0:05:24 > 0:05:28- I'm sure I put it in here somewhere. - Time to come out of the cave, Mum,

0:05:28 > 0:05:31you can put all that stuff on your phone now.

0:05:31 > 0:05:34You boys and your phones, if it was wearing a skirt

0:05:34 > 0:05:37- and a pair of heels you'd date it, wouldn't you?- Yeah.

0:05:37 > 0:05:40- SIGHS - I'm just going to have to print off another copy.

0:05:40 > 0:05:41You know this thing has more

0:05:41 > 0:05:44computing power than NASA used to put a man on the moon?

0:05:44 > 0:05:49Really, and remind me what exactly do you use it for?

0:05:49 > 0:05:52- Games.- Diaries, calendars,

0:05:52 > 0:05:55alarms, er... you can sync your e-mails to it,

0:05:55 > 0:05:57you can surf on it.

0:05:57 > 0:06:00The police even use it as a portable lie detector.

0:06:00 > 0:06:02SHE SCOFFS

0:06:02 > 0:06:04Seriously, it's a new app, I'll show you.

0:06:04 > 0:06:09Right... My name is Heston Carter.

0:06:09 > 0:06:10PHONE SIREN BLARES

0:06:10 > 0:06:12See, it knows.

0:06:12 > 0:06:14This is a joke, right?

0:06:14 > 0:06:17No. Honestly, insurance companies use this when you try

0:06:17 > 0:06:20and phone in a claim. It reacts to the pitch and tone of your voice.

0:06:20 > 0:06:24How steady it is, the level of anxiety, hesitation, timing,

0:06:24 > 0:06:26that kind of thing.

0:06:26 > 0:06:29You need to answer a couple of control questions first, though.

0:06:29 > 0:06:30Go on then.

0:06:30 > 0:06:34OK, so it's got something to reference against,

0:06:34 > 0:06:38answer the first question honestly then lie to the second.

0:06:38 > 0:06:40OK, so...

0:06:40 > 0:06:41What is your name?

0:06:43 > 0:06:45My name is Emma Reid.

0:06:45 > 0:06:47PHONE ALERT BEEPS

0:06:47 > 0:06:49See, it knows.

0:06:49 > 0:06:53Right, what does your father do for a living?

0:06:55 > 0:07:00He was, er... Oh, I don't know, an astronaut.

0:07:00 > 0:07:01PHONE SIREN BLARES

0:07:01 > 0:07:03See, now, it's got your voice pattern.

0:07:03 > 0:07:06Yes, well, very impressive.

0:07:06 > 0:07:08No, hang on. They were just the control questions.

0:07:08 > 0:07:11What about... Er...

0:07:11 > 0:07:12Do you fancy Howard?

0:07:13 > 0:07:15What?

0:07:16 > 0:07:17Don't be ridiculous.

0:07:17 > 0:07:20PHONE SIREN BLARES

0:07:21 > 0:07:24An hysterical bride runs into reception, that is not

0:07:24 > 0:07:27an everyday occurrence, even in Letherbridge.

0:07:27 > 0:07:30Maybe she just realised what she signed up for.

0:07:30 > 0:07:31Can I get some help here, please?

0:07:31 > 0:07:33Help me get him into my room.

0:07:36 > 0:07:40So what are we waiting for, six bridesmaids

0:07:40 > 0:07:43and a mariachi band, or is that it?

0:07:43 > 0:07:45You do realise you've got a home visit to go to

0:07:45 > 0:07:47and Lucy Radcliffe still to see?

0:07:47 > 0:07:50Yes, this is all timed to perfection. Lucy Radcliffe.

0:07:53 > 0:07:56- Go away.- No.

0:07:56 > 0:07:58What are you doing here?

0:07:58 > 0:07:59It's a waiting room, isn't it?

0:07:59 > 0:08:03Well, I'm going to wait until you come to your senses.

0:08:07 > 0:08:09BEEPING

0:08:26 > 0:08:28What am I going to do?

0:08:28 > 0:08:30Right now? Breathe out.

0:08:30 > 0:08:33- Slowly. - It's all falling apart.

0:08:33 > 0:08:36I'm sure that's not true. Now, ssssh.

0:08:36 > 0:08:38In...and...

0:08:38 > 0:08:41slowly...out.

0:08:42 > 0:08:46- Look, you're a woman... - Oh, well spotted.

0:08:46 > 0:08:48KNOCK AT DOOR

0:08:48 > 0:08:50Dr Khella, if I could have a word?

0:08:50 > 0:08:52Keep breathing, OK.

0:08:52 > 0:08:55You are aware that we have to leave by one o'clock?

0:08:55 > 0:08:57I know, don't worry.

0:08:57 > 0:08:58Except judging by the masses outside,

0:08:58 > 0:09:00you're running somewhat behind.

0:09:00 > 0:09:03I didn't ask to get dragged into this, but I'm dealing with it.

0:09:03 > 0:09:06Well, are you're sure? I have one more home visit then I can pick you up.

0:09:06 > 0:09:07Fine.

0:09:07 > 0:09:08SOBS

0:09:08 > 0:09:11And you're certain you'll be ready?

0:09:11 > 0:09:12Heston!

0:09:20 > 0:09:22Rob.

0:09:22 > 0:09:24Are you ill?

0:09:24 > 0:09:25No.

0:09:25 > 0:09:27Ah.

0:09:29 > 0:09:31You can't sit there all day!

0:09:31 > 0:09:33Are you going to talk to me?

0:09:34 > 0:09:37Come on, Karen, this is stupid.

0:09:37 > 0:09:38Is it?

0:09:38 > 0:09:43She's always had a thing for you and this playing happy families -

0:09:43 > 0:09:44if I believe it -

0:09:44 > 0:09:47gives her the perfect opportunity to get her claws into you.

0:09:48 > 0:09:49PHONE RINGS

0:09:49 > 0:09:52Cat got your tongue? That's her, isn't it?

0:09:52 > 0:09:55It's work. I swear.

0:09:55 > 0:09:57- You shouldn't even have that on in here.- I'll be back.

0:09:57 > 0:09:59I won't hold my breath!

0:10:04 > 0:10:06I've told him to sit quietly for a bit.

0:10:06 > 0:10:07Jenny Watson's next....

0:10:07 > 0:10:09If anybody's interested.

0:10:15 > 0:10:16PHONE RINGS

0:10:19 > 0:10:22'Sorry, was it bloods and urine for Mr Lovell?'

0:10:22 > 0:10:24- No, just bloods.- 'OK.'

0:10:33 > 0:10:36SOBBING

0:10:36 > 0:10:38Just come and talk to him.

0:10:38 > 0:10:41I've got nothing to say to that ratbag.

0:10:41 > 0:10:44Look, I don't want to be any bother,

0:10:44 > 0:10:47just let me know when he's gone and I'll be out of your way.

0:10:47 > 0:10:51Well, I need to be sure he's recovered before he can go.

0:10:51 > 0:10:53Why, what's up with him?

0:10:53 > 0:10:56Nothing to worry about, just a panic attack.

0:10:59 > 0:11:00Is he all right?

0:11:00 > 0:11:04He's fine, just got himself in a bit of a state.

0:11:04 > 0:11:09Typical! He's not bothered what state I'm in.

0:11:09 > 0:11:10Of course he's bothered.

0:11:10 > 0:11:12What do you think brought on the attack in the first place?

0:11:12 > 0:11:14This isn't my fault, you know.

0:11:14 > 0:11:18Not saying it is, but you can hardly sort it out from inside a toilet.

0:11:18 > 0:11:21This is supposed to be the happiest day of my life.

0:11:23 > 0:11:26Brides are supposed to be beautiful.

0:11:26 > 0:11:28Well...you, er...are.

0:11:29 > 0:11:32I look like the bride of Frankenstein.

0:11:32 > 0:11:34SHE SOBS

0:11:42 > 0:11:45Look, I'm sorry, I've got patients.

0:11:45 > 0:11:48Don't bother about me.

0:11:49 > 0:11:52I suppose he's told you his side of the story?

0:11:52 > 0:11:54None of my business...

0:11:55 > 0:11:57So, what happened?

0:11:58 > 0:12:00I don't want to talk about it.

0:12:10 > 0:12:14- Oh, look, if you've come to have a go about earlier...- What?

0:12:14 > 0:12:18No, I was just coming to say thank you for sorting out Mr Lovell.

0:12:19 > 0:12:21Oh! Well, you're welcome.

0:12:24 > 0:12:27Mum, I'm busy here.

0:12:27 > 0:12:29Yes. Right... OK.

0:12:50 > 0:12:53Some days it's just not worth getting out of bed.

0:12:53 > 0:12:56Well done, you. That's it til after lunch.

0:12:56 > 0:12:59- And that's Jimmi's problem. - The happy couple?

0:12:59 > 0:13:03The groom's still in sickbay he won't leave unless the bride goes

0:13:03 > 0:13:06with him, and she won't come out of the toilet until he goes and I'm...

0:13:06 > 0:13:07Piggy in the middle.

0:13:07 > 0:13:09Someone should tell them,

0:13:09 > 0:13:11this is a Doctors surgery not marriage guidance.

0:13:13 > 0:13:14I don't suppose you'd have a word?

0:13:14 > 0:13:17No chance. I'm not getting in the middle of that.

0:13:17 > 0:13:20I've got my own problems.

0:13:21 > 0:13:25- You know you have to get rid before you can shoot off to the seminar?- I know.

0:13:28 > 0:13:30Isn't there a law against stalking?

0:13:32 > 0:13:36Getting wound up won't do you any favours.

0:13:36 > 0:13:38It's with it being the Scillies, you see.

0:13:38 > 0:13:40Mother really wanted to go.

0:13:40 > 0:13:42That's where you're going on your honeymoon?

0:13:43 > 0:13:45I've ruined everything.

0:13:45 > 0:13:47Come on, that's a bit of an exaggeration, surely?

0:13:47 > 0:13:51I've been married two hours and 35 minutes

0:13:51 > 0:13:53and my wife has just said she wants a divorce.

0:13:54 > 0:13:57OK, granted, that's not... brilliant. But...

0:13:57 > 0:14:01Look, I've got to ask, what on earth did you do?

0:14:01 > 0:14:04I just thought it'd be a nice thing to do.

0:14:04 > 0:14:08- I knew Penny wouldn't be too chuffed, but I thought she'd understand.- Understand what?

0:14:08 > 0:14:11Instead she blew a flaming gasket, said I was still putting mother first.

0:14:11 > 0:14:14That's hardly fair given the circumstances?

0:14:14 > 0:14:16Since I don't know the circumstances, Henry, I really couldn't say,

0:14:16 > 0:14:19but if you don't do something soon, you're going to lose Penny,

0:14:19 > 0:14:20is that what you want?

0:14:20 > 0:14:22What can I do if she won't even talk to me?

0:14:25 > 0:14:26OK, one last time.

0:14:29 > 0:14:31Anything to get rid of the pair of you.

0:14:41 > 0:14:45I've taken that much blood today they're calling me the vampire of Letherbridge.

0:14:47 > 0:14:50I'm not though...you know... a vampire.

0:14:52 > 0:14:54Sorry, just give me a tick.

0:14:55 > 0:14:58SIMULATED FART EFFECT

0:15:02 > 0:15:06You know that moment, when you see somebody across a crowded room?

0:15:09 > 0:15:11Was it at a dance or something?

0:15:11 > 0:15:16A funeral. He looked so handsome all in black.

0:15:16 > 0:15:19Of course, his mother's right next to him,

0:15:19 > 0:15:21- giving the evils to the vicar. - The vicar?

0:15:21 > 0:15:25She was the same with any woman who came within three feet of her

0:15:25 > 0:15:26precious Henry.

0:15:26 > 0:15:29Oh! So sorry to interrupt. How's it going?

0:15:31 > 0:15:32Right, well I'll just...

0:15:32 > 0:15:34Sorry.

0:15:34 > 0:15:39Come on, it's taken you ten years to get him down the aisle,

0:15:39 > 0:15:42you're not going to let his mother win now, surely.

0:15:42 > 0:15:43How could he?

0:15:45 > 0:15:47How could he even think about bringing

0:15:47 > 0:15:49the old witch on our honeymoon?

0:15:49 > 0:15:54He's taking his mother on honeymoon? No wonder you're upset.

0:15:54 > 0:15:55Yes, thank you, Karen.

0:15:55 > 0:15:59I mean, I just wanted it to be special, you know...

0:15:59 > 0:16:01the first time.

0:16:01 > 0:16:03- By "the first time," you don't mean...- The first time?!

0:16:03 > 0:16:08Not for want of trying, on my part, believe me.

0:16:08 > 0:16:12But Henry's mother could make the puritans look promiscuous.

0:16:12 > 0:16:15Poor sod was well and truly brainwashed.

0:16:16 > 0:16:18Every time we got close to...

0:16:19 > 0:16:23..you know, he just couldn't go through with it.

0:16:25 > 0:16:28Said it'd compromise my virtue.

0:16:29 > 0:16:32- Well, that's...really...- Sad?

0:16:32 > 0:16:38- ..noble.- And now we're married. How are we supposed to...

0:16:40 > 0:16:42..you know... with his mother in the same room?!

0:16:42 > 0:16:45You're kidding, right?

0:16:45 > 0:16:47And I thought I had problems.

0:16:51 > 0:16:56But you can't solve anything stuck in here, can you?

0:16:56 > 0:16:59Like it or not, you're married, you've got to talk to him sometime.

0:17:04 > 0:17:06SIMMULATED FART EFFECT

0:17:06 > 0:17:09Too much fibre?

0:17:09 > 0:17:11Hang on.

0:17:11 > 0:17:13It's the phone.

0:17:13 > 0:17:15Original. Most people blame the dog.

0:17:15 > 0:17:16Look.

0:17:18 > 0:17:20A farting app! Nice. When did you get that?

0:17:20 > 0:17:21I didn't!

0:17:23 > 0:17:24This better be good.

0:17:27 > 0:17:29Where do I start?!

0:17:29 > 0:17:31For one, don't come to my place at work,

0:17:31 > 0:17:34especially on a job like that. It could have ruined the whole setup.

0:17:34 > 0:17:37The set up where you get to snog Driver's face off?

0:17:37 > 0:17:40How many more times, we were role playing!

0:17:40 > 0:17:44- Well, you looked like you were enjoying it.- Good.- Excuse me?

0:17:44 > 0:17:50We have got to convince that man that we are a genuine couple.

0:17:50 > 0:17:53So if it's convinced you, chances are it's convinced him.

0:17:53 > 0:17:58I don't want to keep going over this, I don't know what else to say.

0:17:58 > 0:18:01Just tell me one thing. When you and Driver were playing

0:18:01 > 0:18:04happy families, were you thinking about work then?

0:18:04 > 0:18:09OK, I have to be honest, this whole setup has been very confusing.

0:18:09 > 0:18:10What does that mean?

0:18:10 > 0:18:15Pretending to be a real couple. Funny things like that, it plays tricks with your head.

0:18:15 > 0:18:19Are you saying...? You've got feelings for her?

0:18:19 > 0:18:20No!

0:18:22 > 0:18:23I feel sorry for her.

0:18:25 > 0:18:28I bet she's loving this.

0:18:28 > 0:18:31Nothing happened, you've got to believe me.

0:18:31 > 0:18:32Swear on Jack and Immie's lives.

0:18:32 > 0:18:35I swear. I SWEAR.

0:18:37 > 0:18:38Are you happy now?

0:18:40 > 0:18:43Karen, this case is really important.

0:18:44 > 0:18:48To see that kid, that baby, being traded like groceries.

0:18:49 > 0:18:51- It's sick.- I'm sure it is.

0:18:51 > 0:18:55It's sounds daft, but it made me think of our two even more.

0:18:55 > 0:18:59It made me want to home every day and give them both a hug.

0:18:59 > 0:19:01This case has really opened my eyes.

0:19:02 > 0:19:06These poor kids have got nothing, nobody.

0:19:06 > 0:19:09All they need is a home, and somebody to show they care.

0:19:09 > 0:19:13That shouldn't be too much to ask, should it?

0:19:13 > 0:19:14What are you saying?

0:19:14 > 0:19:17Since Jack and Immie left

0:19:17 > 0:19:21it just seems that we're both just drifting along.

0:19:21 > 0:19:23We haven't got any purpose anymore.

0:19:23 > 0:19:26We're rattling around in that big house on our own

0:19:26 > 0:19:29and you know what, we could make a real difference to some kid's life.

0:19:31 > 0:19:33What do you think?

0:19:38 > 0:19:41Now, keep calm. This is just a hiccup, remember.

0:19:41 > 0:19:45Get over this and you've got the rest of your lives to annoy each other.

0:19:45 > 0:19:47You ready?

0:19:47 > 0:19:48OK.

0:19:54 > 0:19:58Is this the same bloke who, less than two years ago,

0:19:58 > 0:20:00made me get rid of our own baby?

0:20:00 > 0:20:04Hey. Wait a minute, we both agreed that was for the best at the time.

0:20:04 > 0:20:05You bullied me into that.

0:20:06 > 0:20:10What happened to "we're too old, we need our space,

0:20:10 > 0:20:11"we've done our bit"?

0:20:11 > 0:20:14Now you're all for taking in some stranger's kid, who, by the way,

0:20:14 > 0:20:17probably has more issues than you can shake a stick at.

0:20:17 > 0:20:20You thought Jack and Immie were hard work, you've got no idea!

0:20:20 > 0:20:22All I'm saying is let's think about it.

0:20:22 > 0:20:26We could give some kid a bit of security, a loving home,

0:20:26 > 0:20:29- a decent start in life.- All stuff we could have given to our own baby!

0:20:29 > 0:20:30- OK, look...- Our baby, Rob!

0:20:30 > 0:20:36Not some kid that you've taken in because some random case

0:20:36 > 0:20:39tweaked your social conscience or because you woke up one morning

0:20:39 > 0:20:42and realised your own kids have flown the nest

0:20:42 > 0:20:44leaving behind a whacking great hole.

0:20:44 > 0:20:45Our own flesh and blood!

0:20:49 > 0:20:52Just keep your mouth shut and don't mention your mother.

0:20:52 > 0:20:56Good. Marriage is supposed to be give and take, there's nothing that

0:20:56 > 0:20:59can't be sorted if you're willing to discuss it openly and calmly.

0:20:59 > 0:21:02- You stupid, brainless, selfish pig. - I didn't mean to upset you.

0:21:02 > 0:21:05You know what, you need to go home now.

0:21:05 > 0:21:07Let's not do this here, ay? Let's discuss it at home.

0:21:07 > 0:21:09I'm not discussing anything with you.

0:21:09 > 0:21:11Go home and think about what you just said to me.

0:21:11 > 0:21:15- How hurtful you're being. Then you can come back on your knees.- Ahem...

0:21:20 > 0:21:21Right.

0:21:24 > 0:21:26One sec...

0:21:35 > 0:21:38Are you all right? Can I do anything?

0:21:41 > 0:21:45You could knock some sense into that stupid husband of mine.

0:21:45 > 0:21:47Preferably with a sledgehammer.

0:21:47 > 0:21:50Must be something in the water.

0:21:50 > 0:21:53Oh, for Gods sake, wake up, will you!

0:21:53 > 0:21:55You're still putting your mother first!

0:21:55 > 0:21:59I know your relationship with her hasn't been easy.

0:21:59 > 0:22:01She did everything she could think of to split us up.

0:22:01 > 0:22:03She was just scared of being on her own.

0:22:03 > 0:22:06- Oh, it was more than that and you know it.- All right, that's enough.

0:22:06 > 0:22:10I've had it up to here with both of you. Karen, could you ring for a taxi please?

0:22:10 > 0:22:12- My pleasure! - I thought you were on my side!

0:22:12 > 0:22:14I'm not on anybody's side.

0:22:14 > 0:22:18- You're both as bad as each other. - She doesn't understand how difficult this is.

0:22:18 > 0:22:23I do, at least I'm trying to, but it's been a year now since...

0:22:23 > 0:22:28Look, you're 40 years old, it's OK to cut the apron strings.

0:22:28 > 0:22:31Only in your case you need flaming bolt cutters!

0:22:31 > 0:22:34Come on, Henry, you're not going to get a second chance.

0:22:34 > 0:22:37Why don't you make your own mind up, for once, and think about us,

0:22:37 > 0:22:40- about our future. You don't have to do everything your mother's way. - I don't.

0:22:40 > 0:22:43- Oh, Henry!- She didn't want me to marry you, for a start.

0:22:43 > 0:22:47Erm... Taxi's on its way, if anybody's interested.

0:22:47 > 0:22:52How stupid was I to think this was ever going to work? Hello!

0:22:52 > 0:22:55I should have realised it was doomed when you asked me

0:22:55 > 0:22:58to wear your mother's smelly old wedding dress.

0:22:58 > 0:22:59Henry?

0:22:59 > 0:23:01Fine.

0:23:01 > 0:23:04If that's how you feel, go. Go on, leave,

0:23:04 > 0:23:07but you're not taking mother's wedding dress with you.

0:23:11 > 0:23:12What?

0:23:12 > 0:23:13It's mine.

0:23:13 > 0:23:16You don't want me, you're not having the dress, give it back, please.

0:23:21 > 0:23:27- That's not exactly what I meant. - No, no, no. No, it's all right.

0:23:27 > 0:23:30You want it, you can have it.

0:23:31 > 0:23:39Henry Dear, you are going to end up a sad, lonely, desperate, old man

0:23:39 > 0:23:42with 25 cats and a house full of newspapers.

0:23:44 > 0:23:46There's your stupid dress.

0:24:28 > 0:24:30And what time do you call this?

0:24:30 > 0:24:32Blame the chickens.

0:24:32 > 0:24:35Two dozen of the little blighters strolling down Castle Street.

0:24:35 > 0:24:38Right, I take it that peace has been restored to our little

0:24:38 > 0:24:40- corner of purgatory? - Surprisingly successfully.

0:24:40 > 0:24:42- And the patients? - All sorted.

0:24:42 > 0:24:44In that case, madam, your carriage awaits.

0:24:44 > 0:24:47Enjoy. Isn't that Henry's bag?

0:24:49 > 0:24:52It might have passports and what not in it?

0:24:52 > 0:24:54For the honeymoon, you know.

0:24:59 > 0:25:00What is it?

0:25:02 > 0:25:03It's the mother-in-law.

0:25:10 > 0:25:13It didn't take her long to figure out how to hack into your phone.

0:25:13 > 0:25:17Come on, mate, you've got to admit, that's a pretty impressive learning curve.

0:25:17 > 0:25:20Mate, it's typical, she can't take a stupid joke,

0:25:20 > 0:25:23always has to have the last word.

0:25:23 > 0:25:25Doesn't mind making me look a fool though, does she.

0:25:25 > 0:25:28A farting app. Mate, she calls me juvenile.

0:25:28 > 0:25:30- You deleted it, right? - Yes, of course I did.

0:25:30 > 0:25:34'Help, let me out, I'm trapped. Help, let me out, I'm a tiny man...'

0:25:36 > 0:25:38Genius!

0:25:38 > 0:25:40When she does something, it's funny,

0:25:40 > 0:25:43but when I do it I'm acting like a flipping idiot.

0:25:44 > 0:25:47It'd kill her to give me credit for anything.

0:25:47 > 0:25:49It's been the same all my life.

0:25:49 > 0:25:53Nothing I do makes any difference to her, not that she'd notice

0:25:53 > 0:25:57anything I did anyway unless it was something she could have a go about.

0:25:57 > 0:26:00All right, mate, chill out, it's no big deal.

0:26:11 > 0:26:12Hey, what did Mandy say?

0:26:12 > 0:26:14All clear for this little feller?

0:26:16 > 0:26:19No, I'm really sorry. The cat's got to go.

0:26:19 > 0:26:20I'm very allergic.

0:26:21 > 0:26:23It is important to me that she's safe.

0:26:23 > 0:26:26- I'm sure it is.- She will be.

0:26:26 > 0:26:28She's seeing someone else. That's the problem.

0:26:28 > 0:26:30You're not, are you?

0:26:30 > 0:26:33- Of course not. Guy and me are strictly business.- She's lying.

0:26:52 > 0:26:56Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd