Artist in Residence

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0:00:33 > 0:00:35Hey! How was the auction last night?

0:00:35 > 0:00:38Yeah...I tried.

0:00:38 > 0:00:41What's that smell?

0:00:41 > 0:00:42- Here.- What's that?- Coffee.

0:00:42 > 0:00:46Thought so. Is that cat food?

0:00:46 > 0:00:48You like coffee.

0:00:48 > 0:00:51In our four years together, you've never had a coffee waiting for me.

0:00:51 > 0:00:54Guy sold five of my paintings.

0:00:54 > 0:00:58- Great! An agent actually doing their job, eh? - And I've finished four more.

0:00:59 > 0:01:03You used to make real art. We used to sell real art.

0:01:04 > 0:01:07- You're not jealous are you? - Not a bit.

0:01:09 > 0:01:10CAT MEOWS

0:01:10 > 0:01:14I knew it! You've been feeding that stray, haven't you?

0:01:14 > 0:01:16- Coffee does not make up for a cat. - I don't let him in here.

0:01:16 > 0:01:18CAT MEOWS

0:01:18 > 0:01:20- I'll give it a good boot if I see it.- Don't be harsh.

0:01:20 > 0:01:23- I'm allergic!- You're fine, your mum has three cats.

0:01:30 > 0:01:32CAT MEOWS

0:01:40 > 0:01:45Don't worry, Mr Snuggles. I'll talk him round.

0:01:47 > 0:01:50Great, see you in about an hour.

0:01:51 > 0:01:52And who was that?

0:01:52 > 0:01:55Karen, give it a rest.

0:01:55 > 0:01:58If you think I'm going to pussy foot around that woman

0:01:58 > 0:02:00while she gobbles you up...

0:02:00 > 0:02:01Thanks...

0:02:01 > 0:02:04I realise you've got an important job,

0:02:04 > 0:02:07but what part of it requires you to babysit with your boss?

0:02:07 > 0:02:09Look, if we pull this off,

0:02:09 > 0:02:12we get to put one of the biggest scumbags I've ever met inside.

0:02:12 > 0:02:17They're using a baby to con people out of money.

0:02:18 > 0:02:21- If she pull any funny business I'm going to kill her.- Right.

0:02:21 > 0:02:22And I'll throttle you.

0:02:22 > 0:02:24Can I go now? Oh, Karen, look...

0:02:24 > 0:02:30No, you go. It's that poor kid I feel sorry about.

0:02:30 > 0:02:32You were rubbish with the babies.

0:02:47 > 0:02:49SIGHS

0:02:49 > 0:02:52A sigh will not fill an empty heart.

0:02:52 > 0:02:56When you're used to living alone you forget how messy other people are.

0:02:56 > 0:02:57Look.

0:02:57 > 0:03:00It is not our job to clean up all the time.

0:03:00 > 0:03:06I enjoy organising, normally. Just seem to be a little out of sorts.

0:03:06 > 0:03:08What has brought this on?

0:03:08 > 0:03:12Karen, you know, moving out and getting back with Rob so soon.

0:03:12 > 0:03:15That is supposed to be a good thing?

0:03:15 > 0:03:18Yeah, it is, it's just, I miss her.

0:03:18 > 0:03:21All the noise she makes, the chats.

0:03:21 > 0:03:25I thought she was only with you for one night?

0:03:25 > 0:03:30I know. It's silly really. One night of company was so lovely.

0:03:30 > 0:03:33I wish she's stayed longer.

0:03:33 > 0:03:36I enjoyed the gossip, talking about my weird neighbours,

0:03:36 > 0:03:38Rob's bad habits.

0:03:38 > 0:03:39You know what I mean?

0:03:40 > 0:03:43No. Not really.

0:03:48 > 0:03:51Have you seen my black shoes anywhere?

0:03:52 > 0:03:54You're not still fretting are you?

0:03:54 > 0:03:57Just papering over the cracks.

0:03:57 > 0:04:00We have to have a woman on this job.

0:04:00 > 0:04:02- This guy's got to believe we're a real family.- Hmmm.

0:04:02 > 0:04:04And I've got kids. More believable.

0:04:04 > 0:04:06- You reckon?- A bit.

0:04:06 > 0:04:09I give you an hour before you're calling for help.

0:04:09 > 0:04:13- Black shoes are under the stairs. - Keep your mobile on.

0:04:13 > 0:04:15I won't pick up.

0:04:25 > 0:04:28Are you sure it's not just the wet weather, or your eczema?

0:04:30 > 0:04:32- Hello, anyone home? - Hi. In here.

0:04:32 > 0:04:33He just turns up?

0:04:33 > 0:04:36Guy's here a lot, we're very busy.

0:04:36 > 0:04:38Just be nice.

0:04:38 > 0:04:45Morning all. Ellie, darling. Right, show me, show me, show me.

0:04:53 > 0:04:54I like it. It's edgy.

0:04:54 > 0:04:57This is not what we trained for.

0:04:57 > 0:05:00Sad to hear your work's not selling very well.

0:05:00 > 0:05:01It's not all about sales.

0:05:03 > 0:05:07An artist should create beauty without thrusting himself in the way.

0:05:07 > 0:05:09- Very true.- I've spoken to a couple of galleries.

0:05:09 > 0:05:12- There may be some interest in an exhibition.- That's fantastic!

0:05:12 > 0:05:15You're not allergic. Don't be silly.

0:05:15 > 0:05:22I've met many Zen masters in my lifetime. Most of them cats.

0:05:22 > 0:05:25That's not inner peace. That's smug.

0:05:25 > 0:05:28Go see Mandy. Get your allergy test results.

0:05:29 > 0:05:32If it's clear, please can I keep the cat?

0:05:32 > 0:05:36Sure. We could make a pair of fluffy slippers out of it.

0:05:46 > 0:05:50I am very impressed.

0:05:50 > 0:05:54My house is always spotless, one of the perks of living alone.

0:05:55 > 0:05:56A fine job.

0:05:56 > 0:06:00It's easy to get things done when you're left to your own devices, I suppose.

0:06:00 > 0:06:02Exactly.

0:06:02 > 0:06:07It is hard when someone leaves, but I do not know why so many people need someone around all the time.

0:06:07 > 0:06:10It depends who it is...

0:06:12 > 0:06:14You mean finding a good man?

0:06:14 > 0:06:17You have more chance finding a doctor with decent handwriting.

0:06:19 > 0:06:24It's awful, I know, but I think I'd prefer a rotter round the house than nothing.

0:06:25 > 0:06:30You seem so sorted, so together. How do you manage so well?

0:06:30 > 0:06:32I wish it was always the case.

0:06:32 > 0:06:34Go on. Tell me your secret?

0:06:37 > 0:06:41I make a plan, and I stick to it.

0:06:47 > 0:06:48Hey.

0:06:48 > 0:06:55Duncan! Not seen you in ages. What are you doing here? I'm not lending you my nurse's uniform again.

0:06:55 > 0:06:57But I look so good in it.

0:06:59 > 0:07:01Are you all right?

0:07:01 > 0:07:04Yeah. Just not in a great place today. I'm fine.

0:07:04 > 0:07:05What's the matter?

0:07:06 > 0:07:09Elie's adopted a stray cat. I'm sure it's making me ill.

0:07:09 > 0:07:12Have you had allergy tests?

0:07:12 > 0:07:13Here for the results.

0:07:15 > 0:07:18You look terrible. Maybe you should see one of the doctors.

0:07:20 > 0:07:23It's all right, I'd rather see you. It's a bit personal.

0:07:52 > 0:07:56- There you go, you even get a sticker for being a brave boy?- Funny.

0:07:58 > 0:08:01Have you spoken to Elie about this cat yet?

0:08:01 > 0:08:05I've tried but her agent is always there, interfering.

0:08:06 > 0:08:08Can you speak to her?

0:08:08 > 0:08:09Tell her it'll be fine at the cat rescue.

0:08:11 > 0:08:14Your test results have come back clear. Maybe it's stress?

0:08:14 > 0:08:18What about all this scratching? That can't be stress.

0:08:18 > 0:08:20Stress isn't good for eczema.

0:08:22 > 0:08:24You sure there's nothing else?

0:08:26 > 0:08:28I'm not selling any of my paintings.

0:08:30 > 0:08:36Duncan, I'm sorry. People are such philistines.

0:08:37 > 0:08:39How about Elie?

0:08:39 > 0:08:42That's the problem. She is.

0:08:50 > 0:08:53People actually buy these?

0:08:54 > 0:08:56It looks like a bowl of...

0:08:56 > 0:09:00I know. I just know she can do so much better.

0:09:02 > 0:09:04You've both given up so much.

0:09:04 > 0:09:06I don't understand why she'd sell out now.

0:09:06 > 0:09:08- Her agent is really persuasive. - He'd have to be.

0:09:09 > 0:09:13Mandy... I think I'm losing her.

0:09:15 > 0:09:17Honey? I'm home.

0:09:22 > 0:09:25Lighten up Hollins. Look.

0:09:32 > 0:09:34- I used to have one of those. - Really?

0:09:34 > 0:09:36TOY SIREN SOUNDS

0:09:37 > 0:09:39I was going to be a fireman.

0:09:39 > 0:09:41Better uniform.

0:09:41 > 0:09:42Better hours.

0:09:45 > 0:09:49- Come on, Rob. We're supposed to be a happy loving couple. - Yeah. Right.

0:09:50 > 0:09:54One out of ten for enthusiasm. Come on, help me unpack this.

0:09:54 > 0:09:56Darling.

0:09:58 > 0:09:59But the cat is freaking me out.

0:09:59 > 0:10:03It's eyes all glassy, it sneaks about... and it hates my work.

0:10:04 > 0:10:06Every cat's a critic.

0:10:06 > 0:10:08It gives me this look... it's evil.

0:10:08 > 0:10:11Is there something you're not telling me?

0:10:14 > 0:10:19You're not scared of cats? You can't be serious.

0:10:19 > 0:10:24My mum's cats used to torment me. I'd come home from school and they'd be all over the room, staring at me,

0:10:24 > 0:10:26like they were waiting to pounce.

0:10:26 > 0:10:31You know phobia can be a sign of something else,

0:10:31 > 0:10:33something psychological.

0:10:39 > 0:10:45I've failed. I can't sell my work. Elie's shifting all this...rubbish and I can't sell a single painting.

0:10:45 > 0:10:48- You should be happy for her. - I've tried..

0:10:48 > 0:10:50- Why don't you just talk to her? - Couldn't you?

0:10:50 > 0:10:52Duncan, it's not really my place.

0:10:54 > 0:10:55Just don't tell her the truth...

0:10:55 > 0:10:58You want me to lie to her? About an allergy?

0:10:58 > 0:11:01Ever since this cat came along, everything's gone down hill.

0:11:05 > 0:11:07Can you manage?

0:11:07 > 0:11:10Yeah, done.

0:11:11 > 0:11:12KNOCKING

0:11:13 > 0:11:15Are you ready?

0:11:15 > 0:11:16Yeah.

0:11:21 > 0:11:23- Hi. Come in.- Morning.- Come through. - Thank you.

0:11:26 > 0:11:28Mrs Farrell. You seem well prepared.

0:11:28 > 0:11:32I just wanted to make sure we had everything we need.

0:11:32 > 0:11:34I'm sure she'll be well looked after.

0:11:34 > 0:11:36BABY CRIES

0:11:41 > 0:11:44Hey! There you go.

0:11:45 > 0:11:49- It is important to me that she's safe.- I'm sure it is.

0:11:49 > 0:11:50She will be.

0:11:52 > 0:11:55Right, Sofia, this is Lyn and Rob.

0:11:55 > 0:11:58Look at her face. She's perfect.

0:11:59 > 0:12:00Any questions?

0:12:00 > 0:12:03No, don't think so.

0:12:04 > 0:12:06There is one small matter.

0:12:09 > 0:12:11Thank you.

0:12:17 > 0:12:20You have a great weekend. You have my number if there are any problems.

0:12:21 > 0:12:24- I think she's going to make you very happy.- Thank you.

0:12:31 > 0:12:32Done.

0:12:33 > 0:12:35How can he just leave a baby like that?

0:12:37 > 0:12:39Driver, exchange complete.

0:12:41 > 0:12:43Please, take a seat.

0:12:48 > 0:12:52You look a lot more cheery.

0:12:52 > 0:12:57I've been thinking about what you said and I've been making some plans.

0:12:57 > 0:13:00There's a new reality show starting

0:13:00 > 0:13:03and some channel showing all the old shows from the nineties.

0:13:04 > 0:13:07The Brittas Empire! I love the Brittas Empire!

0:13:07 > 0:13:11Perhaps you should think about getting out of the house.

0:13:11 > 0:13:14I suggest something a little more cultural.

0:13:15 > 0:13:18Doctor Carter has very refined tastes.

0:13:18 > 0:13:19He can probably afford it.

0:13:19 > 0:13:22Think about it as an investment in your happiness.

0:13:24 > 0:13:25Yes, you're right.

0:13:25 > 0:13:29I'll book a couple of tickets for something sophisticated.

0:13:29 > 0:13:32Two tickets? You're taking a friend?

0:13:51 > 0:13:53'Oh, yes!'

0:13:53 > 0:13:54'You're so dirty.'

0:13:54 > 0:13:57'Oh, you...

0:13:57 > 0:13:59'That's so good.'

0:13:59 > 0:14:00'Ow! Don't bite.'

0:14:07 > 0:14:09Hey, what did Mandy say?

0:14:09 > 0:14:11All clear for this little feller?

0:14:12 > 0:14:15No, I'm really sorry. The cat's got to go.

0:14:15 > 0:14:16I'm very allergic.

0:14:16 > 0:14:18Isn't there something you can take?

0:14:18 > 0:14:20You'd rather I was on drugs than lose the cat?

0:14:20 > 0:14:23I think she meant anti-histamines, not heroin and absinthe.

0:14:23 > 0:14:25How am I supposed to paint zonked to the eyeballs on tablets?

0:14:25 > 0:14:28Maybe it'll help. You're not exactly shifting units.

0:14:28 > 0:14:30Thanks for that. And they're paintings, not units.

0:14:30 > 0:14:34Units, paintings, whatever. The bottom line is Elie's sell and yours don't,

0:14:34 > 0:14:37ever since she took this bold new modernist direction.

0:14:37 > 0:14:41And I know it sounds stupid - the cat really helps me relax.

0:14:41 > 0:14:44And I've got orders for four more canvasses for Monday.

0:14:44 > 0:14:45This is so wrong.

0:14:45 > 0:14:47A grand a painting, Duncan.

0:14:47 > 0:14:48Buys a lot of allergy medicine.

0:14:48 > 0:14:51Since when did we care about money?

0:14:53 > 0:14:55Fine. I'll go to the chemist.

0:14:57 > 0:14:59Just keep that cat away from my stuff.

0:15:00 > 0:15:03She's been well looked after.

0:15:03 > 0:15:04A miracle, really.

0:15:07 > 0:15:09Wow. Good grip.

0:15:09 > 0:15:12You know you can hang a baby on a washing line and it'll hold on?

0:15:12 > 0:15:14You want to hang her on the washing line?

0:15:14 > 0:15:17Hard to think someone could sell a baby.

0:15:17 > 0:15:18Yeah.

0:15:18 > 0:15:20There's plenty more like her.

0:15:24 > 0:15:27Right, that's my cue to leave, I reckon.

0:15:27 > 0:15:30- I'll leave the washing line with you then, shall I? - Go on, get out(!)

0:15:31 > 0:15:33Oh!

0:15:33 > 0:15:34You're happy now, aren't you?

0:15:47 > 0:15:49Hello?

0:16:10 > 0:16:11MEOWING

0:16:11 > 0:16:13You little...

0:16:19 > 0:16:21Duncan! What are you doing?

0:16:21 > 0:16:24- It's ruined all my work! - What's happened?

0:16:25 > 0:16:27Not only is the cat still here,

0:16:27 > 0:16:29your agent bought a bleeding present.

0:16:29 > 0:16:30He didn't mean any harm.

0:16:30 > 0:16:32It's all about you and Guy.

0:16:32 > 0:16:33Back, get back!

0:16:36 > 0:16:37Elie!

0:16:42 > 0:16:44Duncan!

0:16:45 > 0:16:47Duncan? What are you doing?

0:16:49 > 0:16:50Duncan!

0:16:52 > 0:16:55RINGING

0:16:56 > 0:16:59- Hello?- Mandy? Mandy, I need your help.

0:16:59 > 0:17:00Elie, are you OK?

0:17:00 > 0:17:04Duncan's gone mad. What did you tell him?

0:17:04 > 0:17:06What's happened, are you all right?

0:17:06 > 0:17:08He was trying to kill the cat.

0:17:08 > 0:17:10Trashing the studio.

0:17:10 > 0:17:12Is he really sick?

0:17:12 > 0:17:16No. He's really not, honest.

0:17:21 > 0:17:22You OK?

0:17:22 > 0:17:26A friend once told me sometimes the only thing that stopped her throwing her baby out the window

0:17:26 > 0:17:28was the smell on the top of its head.

0:17:28 > 0:17:31Really? I can't smell anything.

0:17:31 > 0:17:33Try this one, it's warmer.

0:17:33 > 0:17:34OK.

0:17:36 > 0:17:39Here you are. Come on. Come on.

0:17:41 > 0:17:43I wonder what's wrong with her?

0:17:43 > 0:17:48- I don't know.- Well, there's something.- You're the one who's had kids. What would you do?

0:17:49 > 0:17:51I'd ask Karen.

0:17:51 > 0:17:53I think we'll manage.

0:17:53 > 0:17:55Oh, dear, a microwave meal for one.

0:17:55 > 0:17:58No, it's nice. Do you want some?

0:17:58 > 0:17:59No, thank you.

0:17:59 > 0:18:00If it was goat's cheese,

0:18:00 > 0:18:04Alsatian Riesling with a little Mahler in the background...

0:18:04 > 0:18:07Oh, there's a Mahler's concert on this weekend. I was thinking of going.

0:18:07 > 0:18:09His epic Eighth.

0:18:09 > 0:18:10Will you be there?

0:18:10 > 0:18:13No, a country walk and a meal by the canal with a friend.

0:18:13 > 0:18:16Oh, are you going to that pub, the one that does the Sunday roasts

0:18:16 > 0:18:19where the beef is so rare it's still mooing?

0:18:19 > 0:18:20I was thinking of going there.

0:18:20 > 0:18:22That sounds lovely. Maybe...

0:18:22 > 0:18:24No, a picnic. She's a vegetarian.

0:18:26 > 0:18:29No offence, but I'm having lunch with an old uni friend.

0:18:32 > 0:18:35I think we should get Jimmi Clay back.

0:18:35 > 0:18:37No, Karen will know what to do.

0:18:37 > 0:18:38Oh, she'll love that.

0:18:43 > 0:18:44Karen.

0:18:44 > 0:18:48Our little baby girl won't take any milk. What should we do?

0:18:48 > 0:18:50I don't know what I can do from here.

0:18:50 > 0:18:52Oh, Karen, please.

0:18:52 > 0:18:55Well, maybe it's too hot.

0:18:55 > 0:18:56Have you tried cooling it?

0:18:57 > 0:18:59Right, we'll try that.

0:18:59 > 0:19:02Have you checked the teats? Some babies don't like it

0:19:02 > 0:19:05if the milk comes out too quickly.

0:19:11 > 0:19:13We're going to try that love, yeah.

0:19:14 > 0:19:17Have you tried winding her? She might be a bit gassy.

0:19:17 > 0:19:19No, I've not done that. Wait a minute.

0:19:19 > 0:19:21Shall we try that? Shall we?

0:19:21 > 0:19:24- Eh?- Oh...

0:19:26 > 0:19:28BABY BURPS

0:19:28 > 0:19:32Ah! Is that better? Is it?

0:19:32 > 0:19:35Thanks, love, that might have worked.

0:19:35 > 0:19:36No problem.

0:19:36 > 0:19:40Just make sure that bloody Driver keeps her filthy paws off.

0:19:40 > 0:19:42You're on speaker phone, love.

0:19:42 > 0:19:44I know.

0:19:44 > 0:19:48He's completely lost it, all over a cat.

0:19:49 > 0:19:50Duncan?

0:19:50 > 0:19:53Duncan, it's Mandy.

0:19:53 > 0:19:54Mandy?

0:19:54 > 0:19:56Duncan, will you unlock the door, please.

0:20:03 > 0:20:05What's happened to you pair?

0:20:05 > 0:20:07You used to be great together.

0:20:07 > 0:20:09It's this cat business, her choosing it over me.

0:20:09 > 0:20:10It's ridiculous.

0:20:10 > 0:20:14No, you trashing the studio, that's ridiculous.

0:20:23 > 0:20:24Duncan, what have you done?

0:20:24 > 0:20:28Take the cat and leave, if that's what you want. Guy can have you.

0:20:28 > 0:20:31- What's got into you? - He bought it a bleeding blanket!

0:20:31 > 0:20:33So you wreck all your beautiful work?

0:20:33 > 0:20:36What's the point? All they want is...

0:20:36 > 0:20:38Whatever it is.

0:20:38 > 0:20:39There's nothing left.

0:20:40 > 0:20:42How have you got like this?

0:20:42 > 0:20:45How do you think I feel, working every day for nothing?

0:20:45 > 0:20:47An allergy caused all this?

0:20:47 > 0:20:49No. This isn't the cat.

0:20:49 > 0:20:50No.

0:20:50 > 0:20:53She's seeing someone else. That's the problem.

0:20:53 > 0:20:54You're not, are you?

0:20:54 > 0:20:57- Of course not! Guy and me are strictly business. - She's lying!

0:20:58 > 0:21:00Duncan...

0:21:00 > 0:21:02What do these marks remind you of?

0:21:02 > 0:21:03How rubbish my life is?

0:21:03 > 0:21:05No, no.

0:21:05 > 0:21:07Imagine loads of them

0:21:07 > 0:21:10all over the canvas, all different colours.

0:21:13 > 0:21:14I don't believe this.

0:21:19 > 0:21:21Is there something you're not telling us, Elie?

0:21:21 > 0:21:23It's not me.

0:21:23 > 0:21:24It's the cat.

0:21:27 > 0:21:30What? That thing? The cat paints?

0:21:31 > 0:21:35I came in to the studio one day and it had ruined two of my paintings -

0:21:35 > 0:21:38smeared wet paint all over them, scratched them all over.

0:21:38 > 0:21:41Guy was due to collect my stuff.

0:21:41 > 0:21:43I didn't know what to do.

0:21:43 > 0:21:44You didn't even tell him what happened?

0:21:44 > 0:21:47I tried but he loved them.

0:21:47 > 0:21:51Started going on about destruction, Derrida, modern zeitgeist... All that rubbish.

0:21:51 > 0:21:54Why didn't you just tell Duncan about the cat?

0:21:54 > 0:21:56How do you think I felt?

0:21:56 > 0:21:59The cat's more successful than I'll ever be.

0:21:59 > 0:22:02I'm so sorry. I feel really stupid.

0:22:02 > 0:22:04I just thought you and Guy wanted me out.

0:22:04 > 0:22:08All he cares about is sales. He's not interested in me.

0:22:08 > 0:22:10He's pushing me all the time.

0:22:10 > 0:22:11So it's not the cat?

0:22:11 > 0:22:12No, it's her agent.

0:22:12 > 0:22:14No, it's you.

0:22:14 > 0:22:17Look...

0:22:17 > 0:22:20I'd rather live in a tent than sell out like this.

0:22:20 > 0:22:22- We can do better. - You'll manage.

0:22:23 > 0:22:25You always do.

0:22:33 > 0:22:37Did you have any luck finding a companion?

0:22:37 > 0:22:39Absolutely none.

0:22:40 > 0:22:43I don't suppose you'd be interested?

0:22:43 > 0:22:47It is a lunchtime concert, so it wouldn't eat into your Sunday.

0:22:47 > 0:22:50On Sunday I will be at my own church.

0:22:50 > 0:22:54After the service, I help with the lunchtime coffee meeting.

0:22:54 > 0:22:55Oh, it is very lively.

0:22:55 > 0:22:57Ah, that sounds like great fun.

0:22:57 > 0:22:59It is not everyone's cup of tea.

0:22:59 > 0:23:04We discuss the sermon. It is a very serious business.

0:23:04 > 0:23:06That sounds... interesting.

0:23:07 > 0:23:09Would you mind if I came along?

0:23:11 > 0:23:13Yes, of course!

0:23:14 > 0:23:16You will be most welcome.

0:23:22 > 0:23:24That is bad.

0:23:24 > 0:23:26- You're on your own with that one. - Rob!

0:23:26 > 0:23:30Always amazed me how much they can produce. I'll finish that.

0:23:30 > 0:23:32Oh, thank you.

0:23:44 > 0:23:46See, told you I could cook.

0:23:46 > 0:23:48Great, I'm starving.

0:23:48 > 0:23:51I think it's an early night for the both of us after all this.

0:23:55 > 0:23:58I like it. It's now, it's edgy.

0:24:00 > 0:24:03I see Elie's style's rubbing off on you.

0:24:03 > 0:24:05No, it's not, Guy.

0:24:05 > 0:24:07It's rubbish. Just like your opinions.

0:24:07 > 0:24:09We need to talk to you about something.

0:24:09 > 0:24:11From this point, we do what we love,

0:24:11 > 0:24:15- no more crap art for brain-dead people.- But it's what sells.

0:24:15 > 0:24:17I'm going to work on something I believe in.

0:24:17 > 0:24:18But I have orders.

0:24:18 > 0:24:20You have to do this.

0:24:20 > 0:24:21No, she doesn't.

0:24:21 > 0:24:24Besides, Elie's not the one you're after.

0:24:24 > 0:24:27You want to meet the great artist you've been bigging up?

0:24:27 > 0:24:29Oh, I beg your pardon.

0:24:29 > 0:24:31MEOWING

0:24:31 > 0:24:34Mr Snuggles is the artist.

0:24:35 > 0:24:37You're joking, right?

0:24:39 > 0:24:41Very good, you nearly had me.

0:24:41 > 0:24:43It's no joke.

0:24:43 > 0:24:46What, you think that that cat did...?

0:24:51 > 0:24:53Oh, I'm going to be the laughing stock.

0:24:53 > 0:24:55I'm sorry, Guy. You just wouldn't listen.

0:24:55 > 0:24:58No-one else has to know.

0:24:58 > 0:25:00You're damned right they don't!

0:25:00 > 0:25:04And as you have quite clearly breached the terms of our contract,

0:25:04 > 0:25:08your latest commissions shall be forfeit.

0:25:08 > 0:25:11Hm! Forfeit! I'll see myself out.

0:25:12 > 0:25:14Bye.

0:25:16 > 0:25:19What lies at the bottom of the mainstream?

0:25:19 > 0:25:20Mediocrity.

0:25:20 > 0:25:22I'm sorry I doubted you.

0:25:22 > 0:25:23Can I keep him?

0:25:23 > 0:25:26As long as he retires from the art world.

0:25:32 > 0:25:34You look busy.

0:25:34 > 0:25:37I've got to get this audit done, then I'm out of here. Got a busy weekend.

0:25:37 > 0:25:40Oh, me, too. I'm going to church with Mrs Tembe.

0:25:42 > 0:25:44I didn't know you were the religious type.

0:25:44 > 0:25:46I'm not.

0:25:46 > 0:25:48Load of superstitious rubbish if you ask me.

0:25:48 > 0:25:52You do know Mrs Tembe takes all that quite seriously?

0:25:52 > 0:25:54I'm only going for the coffee morning afterwards.

0:25:54 > 0:25:58I can sit through a couple of hours of god-bothering for a snack and a chat.

0:25:58 > 0:26:01They don't sit and talk about what's in this month's Hello! Magazine.

0:26:01 > 0:26:03It's more...

0:26:03 > 0:26:05You know... Spiritual.

0:26:05 > 0:26:09I hope they don't try to convert me because they'll have no joy there.

0:26:09 > 0:26:12You don't want to offend anyone, Valerie.

0:26:12 > 0:26:14What are you doing for the weekend?

0:26:15 > 0:26:18Organising an open day for my craft group.

0:26:18 > 0:26:21Oh, great. That sounds like fun.

0:26:21 > 0:26:24A lot better than a stuffy church hall.

0:26:24 > 0:26:26I used to make my own placemats.

0:26:26 > 0:26:27Ooh!

0:26:27 > 0:26:30I could meet you there. Where did you say it was again?

0:26:45 > 0:26:47I do a great back rub.

0:26:49 > 0:26:53I'll start that paperwork while it's still quiet.

0:26:59 > 0:27:01We should call Andrei,

0:27:01 > 0:27:04put the handover back a couple of days, just till she's well.

0:27:04 > 0:27:06I should be getting back to work.

0:27:06 > 0:27:08Work?

0:27:08 > 0:27:10I'm taking you home.

0:27:10 > 0:27:13You need some rest, hm?

0:27:13 > 0:27:15Lots of TLC?

0:27:15 > 0:27:16Not only is it unhealthy,

0:27:16 > 0:27:19but it's not good for a patient to smell tobacco on a doctor.

0:27:19 > 0:27:21Why not?

0:27:21 > 0:27:23Isn't it good for them to know that we're human, too?