The Woman at the Bus Stop

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0:00:27 > 0:00:33# I don't like what I've become

0:00:37 > 0:00:43# I don't like what I've become

0:00:47 > 0:00:51# They wear daisy chains

0:00:52 > 0:00:56# Do the same

0:00:56 > 0:00:58# Broke your neck

0:01:07 > 0:01:09# So steer me... #

0:01:09 > 0:01:10You're a nasty little man

0:01:10 > 0:01:13and you are going to go away for a very long time.

0:01:15 > 0:01:16Hm?

0:01:17 > 0:01:23# Sing this if you want me in your mouth

0:01:27 > 0:01:30# The world is full of people

0:01:32 > 0:01:35# Changing their minds

0:01:36 > 0:01:39# And now I know

0:01:41 > 0:01:44# I'm changing mine

0:01:46 > 0:01:51# Cos I don't like what I've become... #

0:01:52 > 0:01:55Figure one - sales targets...

0:01:58 > 0:02:01..figure two - shortfall...

0:02:03 > 0:02:05..figure three...

0:02:05 > 0:02:09deadline by which said shortfall is to be made up.

0:02:09 > 0:02:13I get to keep my bonus and you get to keep your jobs.

0:02:15 > 0:02:18Can you read that deadline there, Craig?

0:02:18 > 0:02:21- Er, 20.00.- 20.00 when?

0:02:21 > 0:02:23Today.

0:02:23 > 0:02:27And who is our "Mr Shortfall", Craig?

0:02:30 > 0:02:33- Oh, look... - HE TUTS

0:02:36 > 0:02:38Boo...psh!

0:02:38 > 0:02:41Any ideas, anybody?

0:02:41 > 0:02:42Craig?

0:02:49 > 0:02:51EVERYONE SCREAMS

0:02:54 > 0:02:56HE GROANS

0:03:02 > 0:03:03CRAIG!

0:03:04 > 0:03:06I am.

0:03:07 > 0:03:10You see, dogs don't wizz on moving cars, Craig.

0:03:10 > 0:03:13Are you an old banger or a moving car?

0:03:13 > 0:03:15A moving car.

0:03:15 > 0:03:17Because what happens to old bangers, Team Tony?

0:03:17 > 0:03:20- ALL:- They get traded in.

0:03:20 > 0:03:23- Can't hear you, Craig? - They get traded in. Oh.

0:03:31 > 0:03:33Kevin.

0:03:35 > 0:03:37I'll just wait here then

0:03:40 > 0:03:43Mr Bellamy, I have compiled an incident file

0:03:43 > 0:03:51with copies of all paperwork and forms F2508, F2533 and F2534.

0:03:51 > 0:03:52Good Morning, Dr Tyler.

0:03:52 > 0:03:54Excellent job, Mrs Tembe.

0:03:54 > 0:03:56Workplace accident - litigious nightmare.

0:03:56 > 0:03:59Especially when the victim's a temporary employee.

0:03:59 > 0:04:03Oh, good grief, the woman slipped and fell. No harm done.

0:04:03 > 0:04:05No need for an official enquiry.

0:04:06 > 0:04:08Which doctor examined her?

0:04:08 > 0:04:14Me. Diagnosis - mild upset, moderate to severe attention seeking.

0:04:15 > 0:04:19- Did she mention the S word? - Miss Pitman will not sue, Mr Bellamy.

0:04:19 > 0:04:21This is the age of the ambulance chaser.

0:04:21 > 0:04:25Compensation claims to the NHS rose by 13% last year

0:04:25 > 0:04:28and now account for seven percent of the annual budget.

0:04:28 > 0:04:30Oh, Howard, Valerie doesn't want compensation.

0:04:30 > 0:04:32She just wants a bit of TLC.

0:04:42 > 0:04:45We have a walk-in clinic until two today.

0:04:45 > 0:04:47So, if you'd just like to pop in?

0:04:47 > 0:04:49Yes, we'll see you later.

0:04:52 > 0:04:55MUSIC: "I'm Gonna Love You Just A Little More Baby" by Barry White

0:04:55 > 0:04:56You!

0:04:59 > 0:05:01Sorry, do I know you?

0:05:01 > 0:05:03Killyon Road Bus stop, 8.10 every morning,

0:05:03 > 0:05:06you get the number 19 into town.

0:05:06 > 0:05:08Are you following me?

0:05:08 > 0:05:09Oh, ooh, no!

0:05:09 > 0:05:12No, no, no! I get the number 19, opposite direction,

0:05:12 > 0:05:14opposite side of the street.

0:05:14 > 0:05:16I'm not a weirdo...

0:05:17 > 0:05:21..I just couldn't help but notice you, that's all.

0:05:21 > 0:05:24Oh, well, that's nice.

0:05:26 > 0:05:28What can I help you with, Mr...?

0:05:28 > 0:05:31Smelling. Craig Smelling. I'm registered.

0:05:32 > 0:05:35Doctor Haskey has a walk-in clinic, he shouldn't be long.

0:05:35 > 0:05:38If you'd like to take a seat.

0:05:38 > 0:05:39Yeah, thank you. Thank you.

0:06:06 > 0:06:08"Your stars in alignment

0:06:08 > 0:06:11"put you at an unprecedented crossroads in your life.

0:06:11 > 0:06:15"Today you must decide whether to continue on the familiar path

0:06:15 > 0:06:17"or adventure down the new."

0:06:26 > 0:06:27Are you free for lunch?

0:06:30 > 0:06:34Just, "Today I must decide whether to continue on the familiar path..."

0:06:34 > 0:06:36"Or adventure down the new."

0:06:40 > 0:06:41Virgo?

0:06:42 > 0:06:43Fate.

0:06:45 > 0:06:48- So, how about it?- Craig Smelling?

0:06:50 > 0:06:51Oh, erm...

0:06:53 > 0:06:57Will you think about it...please?

0:06:57 > 0:06:58Call me.

0:07:03 > 0:07:07We have our own kitchen, bathroom. Even a washing machine.

0:07:07 > 0:07:09I'm glad they found you somewhere so quickly.

0:07:09 > 0:07:11We are being helped by charity called EUAid.

0:07:11 > 0:07:14They arranged the flat and help with immigration.

0:07:14 > 0:07:16May I make you some tea?

0:07:16 > 0:07:17- Thanks.- Can you hold her?

0:07:19 > 0:07:22And now I get to take Sofia out whenever I want.

0:07:22 > 0:07:25Later on we're going to the park to feed ducks.

0:07:25 > 0:07:26She likes you.

0:07:28 > 0:07:31Do you know what, I don't think I've got time to stay.

0:07:31 > 0:07:34I'm really glad everything's worked out for you

0:07:34 > 0:07:36- and wish you the best for the future. - Thank you, Inspector.

0:07:36 > 0:07:40- We owe you everything.- Bye, Ola.

0:07:40 > 0:07:41Good luck.

0:07:46 > 0:07:49Ah, you've had ulcers before.

0:07:49 > 0:07:51Last year, when I was made redundant.

0:07:51 > 0:07:53Stressful.

0:07:53 > 0:07:56I thought I had a job for life - turns out life meant 40.

0:07:59 > 0:08:01Any change of circumstance?

0:08:01 > 0:08:02I got a new job.

0:08:02 > 0:08:07Sales...or coercion with intent, depending on your viewpoint.

0:08:07 > 0:08:09I don't think I'm really cut out for it.

0:08:09 > 0:08:12I'm going to recommend an H pylori test and a change of career.

0:08:12 > 0:08:15There aren't many openings for men in their 40s

0:08:15 > 0:08:17with bought ledger experience.

0:08:17 > 0:08:19It took me nine months to get this one.

0:08:19 > 0:08:21In the meantime, I can prescribe some antacids.

0:08:30 > 0:08:32Not again!

0:08:32 > 0:08:34We've got some gremlins in the machine.

0:08:34 > 0:08:35Excuse me.

0:08:43 > 0:08:46Valerie, good weekend I trust?

0:08:46 > 0:08:49Well, I was in quite a lot of discomfort.

0:08:49 > 0:08:54- Yes, I heard about Friday's mishap. - "Mishap"? I went head over heels.

0:08:56 > 0:08:57Did Emma prescribe that?

0:08:59 > 0:09:01I've got a friend who's a physio

0:09:01 > 0:09:03and she said I should give it as much support as possible.

0:09:03 > 0:09:07Right. Well, least you're here.

0:09:07 > 0:09:09You know me, I don't like to let the side down.

0:09:09 > 0:09:12'If only there were more people in the world like you, Valerie. A team player.'

0:09:12 > 0:09:14Except I'm not really part of the team.

0:09:14 > 0:09:18- Of course you are.- But I'll be gone this time next week

0:09:18 > 0:09:21and who's going to employ me like this is anyone's guess.

0:09:21 > 0:09:22One of the reasons I'm here.

0:09:22 > 0:09:25We've organised a small gathering in your honour after work.

0:09:25 > 0:09:28Not a goodbye, I hope, more of an adieu.

0:09:29 > 0:09:31If you feel up to it.

0:09:31 > 0:09:33Oh, well...

0:09:33 > 0:09:35Yes, that sounds lovely.

0:09:41 > 0:09:43There you go.

0:09:43 > 0:09:45Is everything all right?

0:09:45 > 0:09:47This Gentleman took a bit of a tumble.

0:09:47 > 0:09:49You go inside, I'll get the rest.

0:09:52 > 0:09:54That is very kind of you.

0:09:54 > 0:09:57You have also been standing out in the cold.

0:09:57 > 0:09:59Perhaps you would also like to come inside?

0:09:59 > 0:10:02Thank you, I'm just waiting for someone.

0:10:02 > 0:10:07Well, I hope that someone is worth waiting for.

0:10:07 > 0:10:08Oh, Mr Jenkins!

0:10:11 > 0:10:15He seems nice enough but could be a serial killer for all I know.

0:10:15 > 0:10:18And that story about seeing me at the bus stop every day.

0:10:18 > 0:10:20Sounds well dodgy to me.

0:10:20 > 0:10:24Oh, don't listen to him. I think it's dead romantic.

0:10:24 > 0:10:26What would he think of me?

0:10:26 > 0:10:30I mean, what sort of woman says yes to a date with a complete stranger?

0:10:30 > 0:10:31A desperate one?

0:10:31 > 0:10:33It's no different than online dating.

0:10:33 > 0:10:36Valerie, you never know, he might be the man of your dreams.

0:10:36 > 0:10:41- Or the madman from your darkest nightmare.- Will you shut it!

0:10:41 > 0:10:43Ee! Ee! Ee! Ee!

0:10:52 > 0:10:55PHONE RINGING

0:11:06 > 0:11:08Good afternoon, madam.

0:11:08 > 0:11:11I'm sorry to hear you've had an accident recently,

0:11:11 > 0:11:14did you know you may be entitled compensation of up to...

0:11:16 > 0:11:18Oi, Shortfall, where the hell have been?

0:11:18 > 0:11:21- Doctor's appointment. - Always something, isn't it?

0:11:21 > 0:11:23If it's not your ulcers,

0:11:23 > 0:11:26it's your cat, or your drains, or your great-aunt Fanny's hip.

0:11:26 > 0:11:27I'm entitled to...

0:11:27 > 0:11:30The only thing you're entitled to, is a trip down the Jobcentre,

0:11:30 > 0:11:34unless there's a claim on my desk by eight o'clock this evening, capiche?

0:11:36 > 0:11:38What the hell are you looking at?

0:11:38 > 0:11:40Get back on those phones and make me some money, yeah?

0:11:44 > 0:11:46PHONE BEEPS

0:11:54 > 0:11:57As you're relying more on the wheelchair

0:11:57 > 0:11:59you may be entitled to a mobility allowance.

0:11:59 > 0:12:01I've got some leaflets, if you'd like to have a look at it.

0:12:04 > 0:12:07My eyes aren't good in this artificial light, doctor.

0:12:07 > 0:12:09Would you mind opening the blinds?

0:12:10 > 0:12:11Of course.

0:12:17 > 0:12:18How's that for you?

0:12:18 > 0:12:22It's pleasant to find good manners in one so young these days.

0:12:22 > 0:12:24Tell me, where did you study medicine?

0:12:24 > 0:12:26- Birmingham.- Ah, grammar school boy.

0:12:26 > 0:12:29As the pain's increased, I'm going to up your dose.

0:12:29 > 0:12:31A supportive family I'll bet.

0:12:31 > 0:12:34A good upbringing is the foundation of success.

0:12:34 > 0:12:36I recommend omega three supplements,

0:12:36 > 0:12:40research indicates they reduce the inflammation in the joints.

0:12:40 > 0:12:44Also, try finding new ways to do simple tasks,

0:12:44 > 0:12:47like dressing and washing, to take the strain off your joints.

0:12:51 > 0:12:56Operation, "Make Valerie feel loved".

0:12:56 > 0:12:57I want every available member of staff

0:12:57 > 0:13:01to join us for compulsory drinks in the Icon bar after work - no excuses!

0:13:01 > 0:13:03I will send out an all staff e-mail.

0:13:03 > 0:13:05Yes, I think we'll get away with it this time

0:13:05 > 0:13:07but I want no reoccurrences, Mrs Tembe.

0:13:07 > 0:13:10So in your full capacity as Health and Safety Lead

0:13:10 > 0:13:12- I need you to give this your full attention.- Of course!

0:13:12 > 0:13:15- Focus on prevention.- Some more posters?- That's the ticket!

0:13:15 > 0:13:19All the I's dotted, T's crossed. Leave no stone unturned.

0:13:19 > 0:13:20Yes, Mr Bellamy.

0:13:48 > 0:13:50- This is nice.- Yeah, yeah.

0:13:50 > 0:13:54I used to come here a lot when I was at my old job.

0:13:54 > 0:13:58You know, birthdays, Christmas, leaving do's.

0:13:59 > 0:14:01I miss all that.

0:14:01 > 0:14:02What happened?

0:14:02 > 0:14:07Absorbed into a multi-national - 80% redundancies.

0:14:07 > 0:14:12I'd been there nearly 20 years. Biggest part of my life gone.

0:14:12 > 0:14:14Just like that.

0:14:14 > 0:14:17I'm sorry, I know that's pathetic.

0:14:17 > 0:14:19No. No, it's not.

0:14:20 > 0:14:21It's not at all.

0:14:27 > 0:14:30Thank you, Doctor, for your time and your courtesies.

0:14:30 > 0:14:35You're a fine young man, your father must be proud of you.

0:14:35 > 0:14:36Excuse me.

0:14:38 > 0:14:42- This is harassment!- I just want to give you my phone number in case...

0:14:42 > 0:14:44What? I want to get in touch? No, thank you.

0:14:44 > 0:14:46I've not handled this well.

0:14:46 > 0:14:48I didn't know how else to get your attention

0:14:48 > 0:14:50because you won't talk to me.

0:14:50 > 0:14:51I could have followed you home

0:14:51 > 0:14:54but that's definitely straying into stalker territory!

0:14:54 > 0:14:56I don't want you in my life! I want nothing to do with you.

0:14:56 > 0:14:59Please, take it. In case you change your mind.

0:14:59 > 0:15:01Then I'll get lost. I promise.

0:15:01 > 0:15:03I'm asking you nicely.

0:15:03 > 0:15:05Please, stay away from me.

0:15:09 > 0:15:14- It's the office camaraderie. - A sense of belonging.- Mm.

0:15:14 > 0:15:17If it wasn't for my mortgage I'd have saved some money.

0:15:17 > 0:15:21Taken, you know, one of those middle-aged gap year thingies.

0:15:21 > 0:15:23I've never really fancied backpacking.

0:15:23 > 0:15:28Oh, no, me neither. Always looks so...unhygienic.

0:15:28 > 0:15:31No, I was thinking more like a round-the-world cruise.

0:15:31 > 0:15:35Which has the advantage of being all-inclusive.

0:15:35 > 0:15:37And I can take Geoffrey with me.

0:15:37 > 0:15:40- Geoffrey?- My kitty.

0:15:40 > 0:15:43You can take dogs and cats on some cruises these days.

0:15:43 > 0:15:46Cat. That's great.

0:15:46 > 0:15:51And they last for months so there's time to learn a new hobby.

0:15:51 > 0:15:53I've always fancied ballroom dancing

0:15:53 > 0:15:55Oh, now you're talking!

0:15:55 > 0:15:59You could learn to jive in Java or mamba in Mumbai.

0:16:00 > 0:16:02Tango in Tonga!

0:16:02 > 0:16:05The Cha-cha-cha in Chihuahua.

0:16:05 > 0:16:09- Where is Chihuahua?- I've no idea! You'd soon find out.

0:16:14 > 0:16:15In my dreams.

0:16:17 > 0:16:20It doesn't have to be a dream, not for you anyway.

0:16:26 > 0:16:28How d'you get on with Andrei?

0:16:28 > 0:16:30Well, squealed like the little pig he is

0:16:30 > 0:16:32and named and shamed a host of others

0:16:32 > 0:16:34but we've passed it onto SOCA, CEOP and the UK Border Agency.

0:16:34 > 0:16:37Fantastic! That's a great result. Well done, boss.

0:16:37 > 0:16:42- Team effort, Sergeant.- I thought about popping in to see Ola later.

0:16:42 > 0:16:45- No need, I followed up this morning. - And how's baby Sofia?

0:16:45 > 0:16:48Thriving.

0:16:48 > 0:16:51You know, took to all that baby stuff like a duck to water.

0:16:51 > 0:16:53It's not exactly rocket science, is it?

0:16:53 > 0:16:55You tell my wife that!

0:16:55 > 0:16:58- Can I have that report on my desk as soon as possible, please?- Yeah.

0:17:00 > 0:17:02What was that out there?

0:17:02 > 0:17:03Nothing.

0:17:03 > 0:17:05Oh, yeah, it's totally normal behaviour to bawl out at a patient

0:17:05 > 0:17:08- in the middle of the car park(!) - She's not a patient.

0:17:08 > 0:17:09Not your usual type.

0:17:11 > 0:17:13She says she's my sister...

0:17:14 > 0:17:17- ..half sister, that is.- No way.

0:17:17 > 0:17:21- I didn't know you were Muslim? - I'm NOT! Just leave it, will you?

0:17:21 > 0:17:24I just want her to go but she won't listen.

0:17:26 > 0:17:27Got it.

0:17:28 > 0:17:29Do you want me to have a word?

0:17:32 > 0:17:36- Compensation4US? - The clue's in the name.

0:17:36 > 0:17:39I hate it! Most of the claims are a load of old bull

0:17:39 > 0:17:43- but your accident's bona fide. - How did you know about that?

0:17:43 > 0:17:46I heard you talking about it with your boss.

0:17:46 > 0:17:50- You were spying on me? - Oh, no! The door was open.

0:17:50 > 0:17:53And I wouldn't mention it but your case is cut and dried.

0:17:53 > 0:17:55You're genuinely entitled.

0:17:55 > 0:17:57To what?

0:17:57 > 0:17:59Enough for a round-the-world cruise.

0:18:04 > 0:18:06I'm Jas, Kevin's friend.

0:18:06 > 0:18:07- Nadia.- I know who you are.

0:18:09 > 0:18:13He only found out I existed on Friday and isn't taking it well,

0:18:13 > 0:18:17which is why I'm out here and he's in there.

0:18:17 > 0:18:20- Stubborn git isn't he? - You could say that.

0:18:20 > 0:18:22So am I. Maybe it runs in the family.

0:18:22 > 0:18:25Look, I think you should leave.

0:18:25 > 0:18:27You can't just stand out here all day.

0:18:27 > 0:18:30It beats bursting into his consulting room.

0:18:30 > 0:18:33Actually, I tried that on Friday and look where it got me!

0:18:34 > 0:18:38You're nothing but an ambulance chaser!

0:18:38 > 0:18:40No.

0:18:40 > 0:18:42Technically, yes.

0:18:42 > 0:18:43I wouldn't have brought it up

0:18:43 > 0:18:46if I didn't think you had a cast iron case.

0:18:46 > 0:18:50I mean, look at your knee. That's a clear case of negligence.

0:18:50 > 0:18:54This isn't a coincidence, this is fate.

0:18:54 > 0:18:56The path of new adventure beckons to you.

0:18:58 > 0:19:00- You want me to sue my boss? - You're a temp.

0:19:00 > 0:19:04- A week from now they'll have forgotten all about you.- Wrong!

0:19:04 > 0:19:07They're throwing me a goodbye party.

0:19:07 > 0:19:10No, not goodbye but "adieu".

0:19:10 > 0:19:12Their insurance will cover it.

0:19:12 > 0:19:15You don't understand. These people are my friends.

0:19:18 > 0:19:20I can't believe I fell for your lies!

0:19:20 > 0:19:23Don't you ever dare try and come near me again

0:19:23 > 0:19:25or I will call the police.

0:19:25 > 0:19:27Valerie? You've got it wrong I...

0:19:34 > 0:19:39Valerie! Valerie, wait! I was trying to help.

0:19:43 > 0:19:45- OK, can you do me a favour?- Mm-hm.

0:19:45 > 0:19:48Do you mind giving my card to him? He'll take it from you.

0:19:54 > 0:19:56Mrs Tembe! Whoa, that's my lunch!

0:19:58 > 0:20:00The temperature of this fridge

0:20:00 > 0:20:03has been allowed to rise above 41 degrees Fahrenheit.

0:20:03 > 0:20:06Thus rendering the content unsafe to eat.

0:20:06 > 0:20:08There's nothing unsafe about my parmigiana di melanzane!

0:20:08 > 0:20:12Nevertheless I cannot allow for one of my staff

0:20:12 > 0:20:14to contract food poisoning in the workplace.

0:20:14 > 0:20:18Mrs Tembe, you must desist from this lunacy.

0:20:18 > 0:20:21And I must refuse.

0:20:21 > 0:20:25And remind you that, in my capacity as Health and Safety Lead

0:20:25 > 0:20:28and Infections Control Co-ordinator,

0:20:28 > 0:20:33on this occasion, Dr Carter, I outrank you.

0:20:33 > 0:20:34This is PREPOSTEROUS!

0:20:37 > 0:20:40I took the precaution of laminating them

0:20:40 > 0:20:43to avoid any further attempts at sabotage!

0:20:43 > 0:20:44Scissors?

0:20:44 > 0:20:49This is what I think... Ah-ha, see?

0:20:49 > 0:20:53..of your puerile childish posters!

0:20:53 > 0:20:55How dare you!

0:20:55 > 0:20:57And now the rest.

0:20:57 > 0:21:00I forbid you to take one step further.

0:21:00 > 0:21:02STAND aside, Mrs Tembe!

0:21:02 > 0:21:03Never, Dr Carter!

0:21:03 > 0:21:06Will somebody please tell me what the hell is going on?

0:21:08 > 0:21:09She's gone.

0:21:11 > 0:21:14- She's all right, you know. - Best mates now are you?

0:21:14 > 0:21:19- Maybe you should hear her out? - Maybe, you should mind your own business!

0:21:19 > 0:21:23She just didn't want to leave before making sure you could contact her.

0:21:27 > 0:21:29You having a laugh?

0:21:29 > 0:21:33Strikes me she's somebody you might like to get to know.

0:21:33 > 0:21:35Some support you are.

0:21:35 > 0:21:36You asked me to get rid of her and I have!

0:21:36 > 0:21:39"Oh, thanks for that, Jas." Yeah, don't mention it, mate!

0:21:39 > 0:21:41- Thank for that, Jas.- Yeah, whatever.

0:21:44 > 0:21:46KNOCK ON DOOR Yeah.

0:21:48 > 0:21:50That was quick.

0:21:50 > 0:21:53Undercover cop and pen pusher extraordinaire.

0:21:53 > 0:21:54I like to be versatile.

0:22:06 > 0:22:07From the adoption evening.

0:22:08 > 0:22:13You're as subtle as a flying brick, Sergeant, and about as welcome.

0:22:13 > 0:22:15But you were so natural with the mothering stuff.

0:22:15 > 0:22:18Adoption agencies are crying out for people like you.

0:22:18 > 0:22:19- I don't think so.- Why?

0:22:19 > 0:22:22- Children need a father.- Not always.

0:22:23 > 0:22:27I got where I am DESPITE mine, not because of him.

0:22:27 > 0:22:29Spare me the tales of your tragic childhood.

0:22:30 > 0:22:32Boss...

0:22:32 > 0:22:33Lyn.

0:22:33 > 0:22:35No-one ever went to their death bed

0:22:35 > 0:22:38wishing that they'd spent more time at the office.

0:22:38 > 0:22:41And spare me your fortune cookie philosophy.

0:22:43 > 0:22:46And what happened between us was...

0:22:47 > 0:22:51I don't know what you're talking about. It was an op.

0:22:51 > 0:22:52Job done.

0:22:54 > 0:22:55That will be all, Sergeant.

0:23:02 > 0:23:05Mrs Tembe, this is utter foolishness. Howard?

0:23:05 > 0:23:08On the contrary. Sterling work, Mrs Tembe.

0:23:08 > 0:23:12- "Sterling"? It's rubbish! - Thank you, Mr Bellamy.

0:23:12 > 0:23:15Everything in life involves a degree of jeopardy.

0:23:15 > 0:23:18Absolutely, what if one of the posters falls off the wall

0:23:18 > 0:23:20and someone slips on the laminate?

0:23:20 > 0:23:23Or someone leans across a boiling kettle to read one of the signs

0:23:23 > 0:23:25and their face gets scalded by the steam.

0:23:25 > 0:23:28Exactly. As a man on the front line

0:23:28 > 0:23:31you must be used to the concept of risk.

0:23:31 > 0:23:33Risks must be identified and contained.

0:23:33 > 0:23:36Those failing to do so must be considered a liability.

0:23:36 > 0:23:39- Hear, hear!- Et tu, Mrs Tembe.

0:23:39 > 0:23:43Don't forget, leaving drinks for Valerie in the Icon bar.

0:23:43 > 0:23:45I will see you in hell first!

0:23:49 > 0:23:50What time d'you make it?

0:23:50 > 0:23:51'Three minutes to eight.'

0:23:51 > 0:23:56And you've brought me nada, niet, a big fat nothing.

0:23:56 > 0:23:59Do you know what? Don't bother coming in for your P45.

0:23:59 > 0:24:00I'll drop it off in the post.

0:24:00 > 0:24:02'Oh, not so fast.

0:24:02 > 0:24:05'Careless driver - put his car in the wrong gear,

0:24:05 > 0:24:07'backed over a pedestrian on the pavement.

0:24:07 > 0:24:10'Fully comp insurance, liability uncontestable.

0:24:10 > 0:24:13'Broken ankle, lower back damage, head lacerations,

0:24:13 > 0:24:16'sustained injuries, loss of earnings - the works!

0:24:16 > 0:24:18'Looking at a six-figure settlement!'

0:24:18 > 0:24:22We are looking at sales team of the year, Craig.

0:24:22 > 0:24:24Where the hell are you, mate?

0:24:35 > 0:24:38You jammy beggar.

0:24:38 > 0:24:40It just needs a signature.

0:24:40 > 0:24:42Come on then!

0:24:43 > 0:24:46And well done, mate. And I can see a bonus coming your way, yeah?

0:24:46 > 0:24:48And a promotion.

0:24:48 > 0:24:50The best thing is it's genuine.

0:24:50 > 0:24:53Unlike most of the claims we process.

0:24:53 > 0:24:54Can we hurry up, mate?

0:24:54 > 0:24:59Which is why, I've decided to put it through a genuine firm.

0:24:59 > 0:25:00Not this seedy little outfit.

0:25:06 > 0:25:08Don't worry about the P45...

0:25:08 > 0:25:12once the money's through I might take a gap year.

0:25:12 > 0:25:15Maybe even a round-the-world cruise.

0:25:18 > 0:25:20Can someone remind me why we're all here?

0:25:20 > 0:25:22It's our way of saying sorry to Valerie.

0:25:22 > 0:25:24And seeing as you are the culpable one,

0:25:24 > 0:25:26make sure you are the sorriest of all.

0:25:26 > 0:25:28- Your round, boss. - I got the last one.

0:25:28 > 0:25:32You can drag a horse to the pub but you can't make it buy a drink.

0:25:32 > 0:25:34I don't think she's coming. Can't we all just...?

0:25:34 > 0:25:38Ooh, stand by. Remember what I said.

0:25:38 > 0:25:40THEY CHEER AND APPLAUD

0:26:06 > 0:26:08Why would you do it like that?

0:26:10 > 0:26:11Ravioli?

0:26:15 > 0:26:17- Oh, yeah...- Pan-fried duck breast.

0:26:17 > 0:26:20PHONE RINGING

0:26:32 > 0:26:35- Do you want anything? - Yeah, goujons, please.

0:26:41 > 0:26:46- Scampi and walnuts?! - It's amazing, you never tried it?

0:26:46 > 0:26:49That sounds disgusting!

0:26:51 > 0:26:55- Howard? What're you doing here? - You invited me.

0:26:55 > 0:26:57It's several days since we last...

0:26:57 > 0:26:58I'm just tired!

0:26:58 > 0:27:00What the hell d'you know?! You're just nurses.

0:27:00 > 0:27:02So our opinions don't count?

0:27:02 > 0:27:04Something's terribly wrong here.

0:27:04 > 0:27:06If I see one more set of quivering,

0:27:06 > 0:27:09hairy buttocks I'll spontaneously combust.

0:27:09 > 0:27:10I'm talking about...

0:27:10 > 0:27:12- Yes?- Sex.

0:27:32 > 0:27:36Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd