Blood Upon the Rose

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0:00:26 > 0:00:30Judge not and you shall not be judged.

0:00:30 > 0:00:33Condemn not and you shall not be condemned.

0:00:34 > 0:00:37Forgive and you shall be forgiven.

0:00:38 > 0:00:40Give...

0:00:41 > 0:00:43THUNDERCLAP

0:00:44 > 0:00:46..and it shall be given unto you.

0:00:53 > 0:00:55I'm staying over at Layla's tonight.

0:00:55 > 0:00:57- Oh, yeah?- Huh.

0:00:57 > 0:01:01Yeah. I thought I'd give you a bit of space with your mum around.

0:01:01 > 0:01:05Really? SHE CLEARS HER THROAT

0:01:05 > 0:01:07- Are you going to tell her?- What?

0:01:07 > 0:01:09About Nadia?

0:01:10 > 0:01:12- Why should I? - Because she's your sister.

0:01:12 > 0:01:16My half-sister. No, I'm not going to say anything.

0:01:16 > 0:01:20- But don't you think you should..? - Look, it would really upset Mum.

0:01:20 > 0:01:22I'm trying not to think about it myself.

0:01:39 > 0:01:41Please...

0:01:41 > 0:01:42Go away.

0:01:59 > 0:02:02'I see his blood upon the rose

0:02:02 > 0:02:06'and in the stars the glory of his eyes

0:02:06 > 0:02:14'His body gleams amid eternal snow His tears fall from the skies'

0:02:14 > 0:02:18I see his face in every flower

0:02:18 > 0:02:21The thunder and the singing of the birds

0:02:21 > 0:02:25Are but his voice and carven by his power

0:02:26 > 0:02:30His crown of thorns is twined with every thorn

0:02:30 > 0:02:33His cross is every tree.

0:02:36 > 0:02:39A beautiful poem. I wish I'd written it.

0:02:41 > 0:02:46Joseph Mary Plunkett. Poet. Journalist. Freedom Fighter.

0:02:46 > 0:02:50Born 21st November 1887.

0:02:50 > 0:02:53Died 4th May 1916,

0:02:53 > 0:02:57executed by a British Army firing squad.

0:02:58 > 0:03:02For me, at least for many years,

0:03:02 > 0:03:07it has told of the presence of the departed,

0:03:07 > 0:03:09the mourned-for dead,

0:03:09 > 0:03:15the life of the world reminding us of the lives that have gone.

0:03:17 > 0:03:20"I see his face in every flower."

0:03:24 > 0:03:27I'm afraid that time has caught up with us.

0:03:27 > 0:03:30I'd like to thank Mr McGlinn for attending the seminar

0:03:30 > 0:03:32and hope that we see you all

0:03:32 > 0:03:35at his reading of his own - very fine - poems, this evening.

0:03:35 > 0:03:39As an incentive, there will be free coffee.

0:03:39 > 0:03:40Thank you.

0:03:44 > 0:03:48- They really liked you. - Well, no-one threw anything.

0:03:48 > 0:03:49Seasonal blend.

0:03:49 > 0:03:53I tried the canteen and I've had worse in prison.

0:03:53 > 0:03:56I always meet my husband for coffee after communion.

0:03:56 > 0:03:59- Regular celebrant, is he? - He's the chaplain.

0:03:59 > 0:04:03Oh. Then I won't be arguing. His boss is more influential.

0:04:05 > 0:04:07Thank you so much for offering to come.

0:04:07 > 0:04:09I really wanted to.

0:04:16 > 0:04:19Oi! Was that your Secret Santa?

0:04:19 > 0:04:21Well, Valerie's not here, any more.

0:04:21 > 0:04:23- I don't see why... - She put a big effort into this.

0:04:23 > 0:04:25She put a big effort into everything.

0:04:25 > 0:04:29Yeah, OK, she could be a bit over-enthusiastic sometimes,

0:04:29 > 0:04:32- but it's still a good idea. - OK, then - why don't we swap?

0:04:32 > 0:04:35- Swap?- You have Howard.

0:04:36 > 0:04:39Ugh. But I've got Karen. Karen's easy to buy for. Bubble bath.

0:04:39 > 0:04:41Exactly. I've no idea what to give Howard

0:04:41 > 0:04:43and we can't disappoint our practice manager.

0:04:45 > 0:04:47Seeing as it's Christmas...

0:04:47 > 0:04:50Hey, hey! I thought the rule was no swapsies?

0:04:50 > 0:04:53- Mandy's doing me a special favour - Karen!- That's easy!

0:04:53 > 0:04:56What you are you going to buy for your Secret Santa?

0:04:56 > 0:04:57I'm opting out on that one.

0:04:57 > 0:05:00Uh, no - everyone's included otherwise it won't work.

0:05:00 > 0:05:03- Then let me swap!- No!

0:05:06 > 0:05:09Padre. Ham and cheese, please, mate.

0:05:09 > 0:05:11Roddy?

0:05:11 > 0:05:13Oh, sorry. Miles away.

0:05:13 > 0:05:16- Waiting for Jane? - Yeah, she had an early seminar.

0:05:24 > 0:05:26Eamon McGlinn? Sounds familiar.

0:05:28 > 0:05:32- Keep up with poetry, do you? - Keats done much lately?

0:05:32 > 0:05:35Then you might know him from somewhere else.

0:05:35 > 0:05:37He was IRA.

0:05:37 > 0:05:40Commanded an active service unit.

0:05:40 > 0:05:43Served time for the murder of a British officer.

0:05:44 > 0:05:48And now he's earning his coin on the lecture circuit. Nice.

0:05:48 > 0:05:50He wrote to Jane and asked if he could come.

0:05:52 > 0:05:55You think he shouldn't be here.

0:05:55 > 0:05:58Depends if you want the students taught by somebody of his kind.

0:05:59 > 0:06:01- Hi.- Jane.

0:06:01 > 0:06:03Hey. How did it go?

0:06:03 > 0:06:07Really well. Eamon's great with the students.

0:06:07 > 0:06:08Serving his stuff up tonight, is he?

0:06:08 > 0:06:11He's a fantastic poet. You should come.

0:06:12 > 0:06:14No, thanks. Not really my thing.

0:06:18 > 0:06:21I'll take anyone else. Even Howard.

0:06:21 > 0:06:23Howard? Deal.

0:06:23 > 0:06:26Whoa, hang on - I thought you said you were sticking to the rules.

0:06:26 > 0:06:29Er, I am the rules.

0:06:29 > 0:06:32OK, Mrs Rules, fine - let me have another go.

0:06:32 > 0:06:35Or I'll tell everyone you've been doing favours.

0:06:37 > 0:06:39- Fine!- Hold on...- Tst!

0:06:40 > 0:06:42You had your turn, let me.

0:06:46 > 0:06:48Oh, man.

0:06:48 > 0:06:50If you've got Heston, it serves you right.

0:06:50 > 0:06:52- Kevin.- What's wrong with Kevin?

0:06:52 > 0:06:54I can't buy Kevin anything for seven quid.

0:06:54 > 0:06:56Now you know how I felt.

0:06:58 > 0:07:00McGlinn was convicted of murder.

0:07:02 > 0:07:05- If you'd read Eamon's poetry... - I have.

0:07:05 > 0:07:08Well, then you know he talks about redemption.

0:07:08 > 0:07:10But does that wipe out the deeds?

0:07:11 > 0:07:13Excuse what he did?

0:07:13 > 0:07:16You never said you had a problem with Eamon coming.

0:07:16 > 0:07:19- I had reservations. - You didn't tell me.

0:07:19 > 0:07:21No, I didn't.

0:07:23 > 0:07:25But I do know where Howard is coming from.

0:07:25 > 0:07:28A British soldier who fought the IRA.

0:07:30 > 0:07:33Is this about something that Howard did?

0:07:39 > 0:07:40Come in.

0:07:42 > 0:07:43Mandy.

0:07:43 > 0:07:46I have got your inventory.

0:07:46 > 0:07:48Two days early. Take a star.

0:07:48 > 0:07:51And there's also this.

0:07:51 > 0:07:53That would clash with my tie.

0:07:53 > 0:07:55Secret Santa. Valerie's legacy.

0:07:55 > 0:07:57You haven't chosen.

0:07:57 > 0:08:00Go on, then. If I get Heston, I'm leaving the country.

0:08:02 > 0:08:05- Mrs Tembe.- It's not Heston.

0:08:05 > 0:08:07No, but I still don't know what to buy her.

0:08:07 > 0:08:09- Can I swap?- No swapping.

0:08:09 > 0:08:12Practice nurse budget up for review in January...

0:08:21 > 0:08:24- Emma.- Sure you're going to know what to buy her?

0:08:24 > 0:08:26I'll give it a go.

0:08:38 > 0:08:41So you don't know anything about Howard's service record?

0:08:41 > 0:08:43We didn't discuss those kind of things.

0:08:43 > 0:08:47But if you found he'd done something, something awful...

0:08:47 > 0:08:49would you be able to forgive him?

0:08:49 > 0:08:51Depends if he was seeking forgiveness.

0:08:51 > 0:08:53And what about Eamon?

0:09:04 > 0:09:06- ECHOING:- Roddy?

0:09:10 > 0:09:12Roddy!

0:09:34 > 0:09:36Roddy, what is it?

0:10:16 > 0:10:19Angina can be exacerbated by stress.

0:10:19 > 0:10:22Anything causing you added stress, anxiety?

0:10:22 > 0:10:25I... I haven't been sleeping well, lately.

0:10:25 > 0:10:26Things on your mind?

0:10:28 > 0:10:29Yes.

0:10:29 > 0:10:32Relaxation techniques can help. I've got a colleague...

0:10:32 > 0:10:33Do you have a faith?

0:10:36 > 0:10:39- A faith?- A religious faith?

0:10:39 > 0:10:41No, not really. Should I?

0:10:43 > 0:10:47No, I mean... it's a universal question.

0:10:48 > 0:10:49What is?

0:10:49 > 0:10:51Is it always possible to forgive?

0:10:51 > 0:10:55- What for?- Things done in the past.

0:10:56 > 0:10:58Suppose it depends what they are.

0:10:59 > 0:11:03Funny how we say things are buried in the past,

0:11:03 > 0:11:05or consigned to the past...

0:11:07 > 0:11:09..when it's our past that comes to find us.

0:11:09 > 0:11:13'..for the day of their calamity is at hand'

0:11:13 > 0:11:18And the things that come upon them make haste.

0:11:24 > 0:11:25I do not want Dr Haskey.

0:11:26 > 0:11:27That's the draw.

0:11:27 > 0:11:30I would not know what to get him.

0:11:30 > 0:11:33- Socks? - Immediately, there is a dilemma.

0:11:33 > 0:11:35Now, do I get him plain socks

0:11:35 > 0:11:37or those ones with the days of the week?

0:11:37 > 0:11:42I think Doctor Haskey would wear Thursday on Wednesday and vice-versa.

0:11:42 > 0:11:44I would prefer someone with a sense of order.

0:11:46 > 0:11:48I would like Mr Bellamy. Now, for Mr Bellamy,

0:11:49 > 0:11:51Wednesday will always be Wednesday.

0:11:51 > 0:11:54And that is exactly why you should stick with Al.

0:11:54 > 0:11:56Why?

0:11:56 > 0:12:00The element of the unexpected. That's the joy of Secret Santa.

0:12:00 > 0:12:03- But what if I would like to swap? - No, no swapping.

0:12:07 > 0:12:08You are leaving?

0:12:08 > 0:12:12Yeah, I'm working at home this avo. Admin. It's booked in.

0:12:12 > 0:12:13Goodbye.

0:12:15 > 0:12:17- Roddy?- Just...routine.

0:12:19 > 0:12:20You got time for a quick word?

0:12:29 > 0:12:33- Mum!- My baby! Aw!

0:12:33 > 0:12:35Sorry I'm late.

0:12:35 > 0:12:37Plenty going round to keep you doctors busy.

0:12:37 > 0:12:40Let me look at you... You look...a bit peaky.

0:12:40 > 0:12:42You been surviving on takeaways?

0:12:42 > 0:12:46- The odd pizza. But we mostly cook. - "We?"- Yeah, I've got a lodger.

0:12:46 > 0:12:48And would that be a lady lodger?

0:12:48 > 0:12:51She's just a friend. Actually, Mum, there is something...

0:12:51 > 0:12:54Something juicy you want to tell me about?

0:12:56 > 0:12:59It can wait, why don't we put the kettle on first?

0:12:59 > 0:13:00I thought you'd never ask.

0:13:05 > 0:13:09McGlinn hasn't come here to just read poetry, has he?

0:13:09 > 0:13:11- He's here for me.- To do what?

0:13:11 > 0:13:13Kill me.

0:13:15 > 0:13:18You were just infantry before you were ordained.

0:13:18 > 0:13:20I was.

0:13:20 > 0:13:23But on my second tour of Ulster I was seconded to headquarters.

0:13:23 > 0:13:27- So that's when the company was formed.- The Jackals?

0:13:27 > 0:13:3111 Special Field Intelligence Company.

0:13:31 > 0:13:34It was the Provos that gave us the nickname.

0:13:34 > 0:13:37Yeah, I've heard of them.

0:13:37 > 0:13:39So you were there when Eamon McGlinn's brother

0:13:39 > 0:13:41died under interrogation?

0:13:42 > 0:13:45I was the company commander.

0:13:45 > 0:13:47I ordered the interrogation.

0:13:48 > 0:13:52- So her name's Jas? - Short for Jasmine.

0:13:52 > 0:13:56She must be pretty, cos you certainly haven't taken her on for her cleaning skills!

0:13:56 > 0:14:00Ah, that's kind of my responsibility, this week.

0:14:00 > 0:14:04- So she is pretty, then?- I suppose.

0:14:04 > 0:14:07You ought to know, you've had enough girlfriends.

0:14:07 > 0:14:08I'm changing the subject, Mum.

0:14:08 > 0:14:11What to? That juicy thing you wanted to tell me about?

0:14:11 > 0:14:14That can wait till we've been shopping.

0:14:14 > 0:14:16I know you're itching to buy up the town.

0:14:16 > 0:14:19- Might not be buying as much this Christmas.- Why's that?

0:14:19 > 0:14:22- I'm not quite as...flush as I'd like to be.- You never said.

0:14:23 > 0:14:25- It doesn't matter, I can... - I can help.- Kevin.

0:14:25 > 0:14:29It's Christmas. And look at everything you've done for me.

0:14:29 > 0:14:31I really want to.

0:14:33 > 0:14:36There were three devices.

0:14:36 > 0:14:39Two had already been detonated, the first at a police station.

0:14:42 > 0:14:45Three were killed instantly,

0:14:45 > 0:14:47many more casualties.

0:14:47 > 0:14:50The second came ten minutes after.

0:14:50 > 0:14:52The gate of one of our bases.

0:14:52 > 0:14:54A patrol was coming in as it was detonated.

0:14:56 > 0:15:00Didn't have the exact number of casualties at the time,

0:15:00 > 0:15:02but no-one walked away.

0:15:04 > 0:15:07Intelligence from the ground told us that there was a third device.

0:15:09 > 0:15:12By that time, we had detained a suspect...

0:15:13 > 0:15:15..Stephen McGlinn.

0:15:15 > 0:15:17And what about Eamon?

0:15:17 > 0:15:21He was a commander of the active service unit

0:15:21 > 0:15:23that planted the bombs.

0:15:23 > 0:15:26And did his brother know where the other devices were?

0:15:26 > 0:15:28We had reason to believe he did.

0:15:30 > 0:15:32And that the third device was the largest...

0:15:33 > 0:15:35..and potentially most deadly.

0:15:37 > 0:15:40It was up to me to find that device.

0:15:40 > 0:15:42Where's the bomb, Stephen? Where's the bomb?

0:15:42 > 0:15:45'He was swearing that he had no idea.

0:15:45 > 0:15:49- 'That he didn't know where it was.' - Where's the bomb, Stephen?

0:15:49 > 0:15:52'There were people killed. Our soldiers killed.

0:15:54 > 0:15:57'Scattered over the streets like bin rags.'

0:15:58 > 0:16:01And he knew.

0:16:01 > 0:16:04I knew he knew where that device was.

0:16:07 > 0:16:09Did he tell you?

0:16:09 > 0:16:12He died without revealing anything.

0:16:12 > 0:16:15How did he die?

0:16:15 > 0:16:20Heart attack. He had an undiagnosed congenital heart condition.

0:16:22 > 0:16:25The stress of the interrogation proved too much.

0:16:25 > 0:16:27And what about the third device?

0:16:27 > 0:16:29Failed to detonate.

0:16:30 > 0:16:34If it had, it would have killed even more of our personnel,

0:16:34 > 0:16:36maybe civilians.

0:16:36 > 0:16:39So why has it taken McGlinn so long to look for revenge?

0:16:39 > 0:16:42He started almost immediately.

0:16:42 > 0:16:47My second-in-command, James Dewar, was taken to a field,

0:16:47 > 0:16:53abducted on operations, beaten and killed with two shots to the head.

0:16:53 > 0:16:55And it was McGlinn that killed him?

0:16:55 > 0:16:58He was arrested the next day. Received a life sentence.

0:16:58 > 0:17:00Was released as part of the peace process.

0:17:02 > 0:17:03But that was a while back.

0:17:03 > 0:17:07There were four of us present at that interrogation.

0:17:07 > 0:17:10Dewar was killed, as I said.

0:17:11 > 0:17:19Sergeant Ross retired, was found dead five years ago, gunshot wounds.

0:17:21 > 0:17:24Corporal McClean also left the army.

0:17:24 > 0:17:27Died in a house fire two years ago.

0:17:28 > 0:17:30The circumstances were...

0:17:31 > 0:17:33..mysterious.

0:17:35 > 0:17:39So it looks like he's been leaving me till last.

0:17:41 > 0:17:44'So where's McGlinn lying up now?

0:17:44 > 0:17:48'He's staying at a hotel and might be preparing for his reading.

0:17:48 > 0:17:50'With Jane?'

0:17:50 > 0:17:52Possibly.

0:17:52 > 0:17:55Roddy, what if he wants to take revenge in kind?

0:18:03 > 0:18:06PHONE RINGS

0:18:11 > 0:18:13Thought I'd find you here.

0:18:18 > 0:18:20No answer.

0:18:20 > 0:18:22Come on.

0:18:23 > 0:18:26Eh, found a picture of you with your BMX bike the other day.

0:18:26 > 0:18:30- I loved that bike!- Just a bit!

0:18:30 > 0:18:32All the other kids used to leave theirs covered in mud.

0:18:32 > 0:18:34You'd spend hours cleaning yours.

0:18:34 > 0:18:36If you've got a hot ride, it needs to be clean.

0:18:36 > 0:18:40Remember showing off on it, too, with Charlie Bennett from next door?

0:18:40 > 0:18:43What was it his dad used to call you?

0:18:43 > 0:18:45- Imran.- Why'd he call you that?

0:18:45 > 0:18:47After Imran Khan?

0:18:47 > 0:18:50He used to captain the Pakistani cricket team.

0:18:50 > 0:18:51Oh.

0:18:51 > 0:18:54You were really good at cricket.

0:18:54 > 0:18:56He called me that cos I'm brown, Mum.

0:19:02 > 0:19:04We'll find her.

0:19:10 > 0:19:12Step away from her, McGlinn!

0:19:14 > 0:19:16And who are you, to be giving me orders?

0:19:16 > 0:19:18- I said get away from her! - Please, don't harm her!

0:19:18 > 0:19:20Why would he want to harm me?

0:19:20 > 0:19:22It's something I did.

0:19:23 > 0:19:26Is that an admission... or a confession?

0:19:26 > 0:19:28- I'm calling the police.- I wouldn't.

0:19:32 > 0:19:34I've got the guilty party here.

0:19:36 > 0:19:39The Reverend Roddy McAllister.

0:19:41 > 0:19:43Or, in a previous life,

0:19:43 > 0:19:46Major Roderick McAllister.

0:19:48 > 0:19:50What's this about?

0:19:50 > 0:19:51He murdered my brother.

0:19:51 > 0:19:53It wasn't murder.

0:19:53 > 0:19:56Another Brit soldier. I can tell by the arrogance.

0:19:56 > 0:20:00- And I know you're a killer.- And what about you? You killed anyone?

0:20:00 > 0:20:04- That's for me to... - In Ireland? Killed anyone there?

0:20:04 > 0:20:07The British Army doesn't conduct operations

0:20:07 > 0:20:08in the Republic of Ireland.

0:20:08 > 0:20:10My country IS Ireland

0:20:10 > 0:20:14and that includes the six counties of the North.

0:20:15 > 0:20:17Is what he's saying about you true?

0:20:19 > 0:20:21I ordered...

0:20:21 > 0:20:23and took part in...

0:20:25 > 0:20:28..the interrogation that led to the death of Stephen McGlinn.

0:20:31 > 0:20:33And now I finally have you...

0:20:34 > 0:20:36..face to face.

0:20:39 > 0:20:42I was the only kid on the estate who wasn't white.

0:20:42 > 0:20:43It never made a difference.

0:20:44 > 0:20:47Maybe not to you, but I was made to feel it every day.

0:20:47 > 0:20:50In the street. On the bus. At school.

0:20:51 > 0:20:54I know you were bullied, love.

0:20:54 > 0:20:57I got sick and tired of hearing that word.

0:20:57 > 0:20:59They never called you that?

0:20:59 > 0:21:02Mum, someone called me that every day.

0:21:02 > 0:21:05"There's a little man from Pakistan."

0:21:05 > 0:21:08Used to hear that every time you sent me out for chips.

0:21:08 > 0:21:13Wanted to say, "I'm from round here. It's my...dad who's from Pakistan."

0:21:13 > 0:21:15I didn't know they called you that.

0:21:16 > 0:21:20I didn't want to worry you.

0:21:20 > 0:21:23It's toughened me up. I've never apologised for who I am.

0:21:23 > 0:21:27You should be proud of who you are. I bloody am!

0:21:29 > 0:21:34I was on a lecture tour in the States when Andrew Ross was killed.

0:21:34 > 0:21:37I know there was mystery surrounding his death...

0:21:38 > 0:21:40..and it was from gunshot wounds.

0:21:41 > 0:21:43But I didn't kill him.

0:21:44 > 0:21:47And I didn't kill your Corporal McClean.

0:21:48 > 0:21:50That was a fire.

0:21:50 > 0:21:53And I didn't start it.

0:21:53 > 0:21:57I left all that killing behind me, in that prison.

0:21:57 > 0:22:00And what about those you did kill? Their families?

0:22:02 > 0:22:04I try to work that through.

0:22:04 > 0:22:06Guilt?

0:22:06 > 0:22:10I reconciled the man I was with the man I am.

0:22:10 > 0:22:13What about you, Roddy?

0:22:13 > 0:22:15What does your god have to say about it?

0:22:15 > 0:22:18I didn't become a priest to assuage my guilt.

0:22:18 > 0:22:22- But you feel guilt?- I feel...

0:22:22 > 0:22:25anguish at what I had to do.

0:22:25 > 0:22:27You didn't have to kill him.

0:22:27 > 0:22:31- Stephen. - I had no intention of killing him.

0:22:33 > 0:22:36But I wouldn't have had to interrogate him,

0:22:36 > 0:22:38if you hadn't planted those devices.

0:22:38 > 0:22:41And your second-in-command would have survived,

0:22:41 > 0:22:44had you not ordered the interrogation.

0:22:44 > 0:22:47But you did kill him?

0:22:47 > 0:22:53I was present when James Dewar was...killed.

0:22:54 > 0:22:57But I didn't pull the trigger.

0:22:58 > 0:23:00I didn't fire the shots.

0:23:02 > 0:23:06But I hear them...most nights.

0:23:09 > 0:23:13And I see the muzzle of the gun being placed on his head...

0:23:15 > 0:23:17..and a voice inside me says...

0:23:20 > 0:23:22"..Don't!"

0:23:23 > 0:23:25But I was silent at that time...

0:23:28 > 0:23:31..and so, since then...

0:23:35 > 0:23:38..I see him fall.

0:23:38 > 0:23:40You see Stephen.

0:23:45 > 0:23:47I wanted to kill you.

0:23:49 > 0:23:51That was my waking thought for years.

0:23:53 > 0:23:55You killed my brother so I wanted to kill you.

0:23:57 > 0:24:00But I'm followed enough by death as it is.

0:24:00 > 0:24:04And I left all that killing behind me in that prison...

0:24:06 > 0:24:13..but that man is me and I am him.

0:24:13 > 0:24:15I sought you out

0:24:15 > 0:24:19cos I wanted to know what it was like for him, in the end.

0:24:20 > 0:24:23- For Stephen.- He told us nothing.

0:24:25 > 0:24:27Despite what was done to him.

0:24:27 > 0:24:29He was...

0:24:31 > 0:24:34..steadfast.

0:24:34 > 0:24:35Likewise Dewar.

0:24:37 > 0:24:39He died a soldier.

0:24:42 > 0:24:44I can't offer you forgiveness.

0:24:45 > 0:24:48If you want forgiveness for yourself...

0:24:49 > 0:24:52..accept that the man who killed was you.

0:24:54 > 0:24:56It won't take away the burden.

0:24:58 > 0:25:00It won't restore the dead to life.

0:25:02 > 0:25:04But it will mean your life can go on.

0:25:29 > 0:25:32Go on, say you hate it.

0:25:32 > 0:25:35- I don't hate it! - I tried following the recipe.

0:25:35 > 0:25:37- From those lairy bikers. - Hairy Bikers, Mum.

0:25:39 > 0:25:42- It looked nice in the picture. - Better than they do.

0:25:42 > 0:25:45Never been a one for beards.

0:25:47 > 0:25:48Was my dad clean-shaven, then?

0:25:51 > 0:25:53Do we have to talk about this?

0:25:53 > 0:25:55Well, we never do. I just thought it was time.

0:25:57 > 0:26:00He was very smart. Liked suits.

0:26:00 > 0:26:03Like me?

0:26:03 > 0:26:05You've got the same slim build.

0:26:05 > 0:26:08Was he wearing a suit when you met him?

0:26:08 > 0:26:11Yes. At a dance.

0:26:11 > 0:26:13Was he married?

0:26:13 > 0:26:16I would never have gone off with a married man.

0:26:16 > 0:26:19But that's what I thought, that you two couldn't be together,

0:26:19 > 0:26:21- because he was with someone else. - He wasn't.

0:26:21 > 0:26:24- Then why didn't he want to be with us?- It was a cultural thing.

0:26:24 > 0:26:26"Cultural?" What, like religious?

0:26:26 > 0:26:29He didn't want to be with a white woman.

0:26:34 > 0:26:37But you had a kid together. Didn't he want to see me, make contact?

0:26:37 > 0:26:38No.

0:26:42 > 0:26:46Oh, look - we've been all right together, the two of us.

0:26:46 > 0:26:47(Yeah. But...)

0:26:47 > 0:26:49We've had such a fantastic day.

0:26:49 > 0:26:52Let's have some of that lovely pudding

0:26:52 > 0:26:54and enjoy the rest of the night, eh?

0:26:54 > 0:26:55Sure.

0:27:06 > 0:27:09It is clear he's been living rough somewhere.

0:27:09 > 0:27:13He'd rather live out of bins than come home to me.

0:27:13 > 0:27:15I've spent my entire life getting grief

0:27:15 > 0:27:18for being the only brown kid in a white neighbourhood

0:27:18 > 0:27:21and it turns out that I'm just too white for my dad.

0:27:21 > 0:27:23I'll let nature take its course.

0:27:23 > 0:27:26I wouldn't recommend it. Anyway, I didn't come all this way

0:27:26 > 0:27:28- just for you to die on me now. - Why did you come?

0:27:47 > 0:27:50Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd