0:00:27 > 0:00:31# Is that all there is?
0:00:31 > 0:00:36# If that's all there is my friends then let's keep dancing... #
0:00:36 > 0:00:37Paul?
0:00:40 > 0:00:42Paul? Hello?
0:00:44 > 0:00:46Will you be a darling and drop me off at Jenny's on your way?
0:00:46 > 0:00:48We might have wine at lunch.
0:00:48 > 0:00:49Sure.
0:00:51 > 0:00:54You don't mind, do you? My not going with you?
0:00:55 > 0:00:57No, of course not.
0:00:57 > 0:01:00I know what she's going to say. It's just a formality.
0:01:01 > 0:01:03Shall we go?
0:01:13 > 0:01:15Yeah, yeah, it's always worth an ask.
0:01:15 > 0:01:17All right, thank you. Bye.
0:01:17 > 0:01:18How's your dad?
0:01:18 > 0:01:22He's better the last couple of days. He's getting happier.
0:01:22 > 0:01:24That was an old friend of mine who I trained with
0:01:24 > 0:01:25and he reckons there's this new physio
0:01:25 > 0:01:28who's got this really holistic approach to motivating people.
0:01:28 > 0:01:29Hmm...sounds interesting.
0:01:29 > 0:01:32It would be really tough to get him transferred now.
0:01:32 > 0:01:34I'll speak to Heston, I'll see what he reckons.
0:01:34 > 0:01:39Good for you! Bet he's delighted he's got you fighting his corner.
0:01:39 > 0:01:41Well, tablets are usually a last resort.
0:01:41 > 0:01:43Why do you think you're not sleeping?
0:01:43 > 0:01:47- I've just come from St Phil's... - Yeah, they've been in touch.
0:01:47 > 0:01:50- You know the cancer's gone? - Yeah, that's great news...
0:01:51 > 0:01:52..isn't it?
0:01:53 > 0:01:55So, why do I feel like this?
0:01:57 > 0:02:00When I was first diagnosed...
0:02:00 > 0:02:02OK, there was the shock...
0:02:02 > 0:02:05but then, I don't know...life...
0:02:07 > 0:02:11..just walking down the street, or eating an apple, or whatever,
0:02:11 > 0:02:14there was...a savour to it, an excitement.
0:02:14 > 0:02:17When you thought your time was limited.
0:02:17 > 0:02:19Everything was so alive and vivid, and now...
0:02:19 > 0:02:23Well, it's not as uncommon as you'd think.
0:02:23 > 0:02:25Mostly people feel guilty,
0:02:25 > 0:02:29wonder why they've been allowed to live and not others.
0:02:29 > 0:02:31You just need to take time to readjust.
0:02:31 > 0:02:32Are you back at work?
0:02:32 > 0:02:36The scintillating world of investment banking? Not yet.
0:02:37 > 0:02:39I've lost my appetite for it -
0:02:39 > 0:02:41and I don't need the money,
0:02:41 > 0:02:43I've got more of that than I know what to do with.
0:02:43 > 0:02:45Loads of people would envy you, you know.
0:02:45 > 0:02:47You can do anything you want now -
0:02:47 > 0:02:50travel the world, live the high life...
0:02:50 > 0:02:53- Is that how you'd like to live? - Wouldn't everyone?
0:02:56 > 0:02:57You're right.
0:02:58 > 0:03:02I'm sorry for moaning on...
0:03:02 > 0:03:04I don't know what I'm doing here, really.
0:03:04 > 0:03:06Maybe I should take up skydiving or something?
0:03:06 > 0:03:07Maybe not that
0:03:07 > 0:03:11but, yeah, you could try doing something completely different.
0:03:11 > 0:03:13Something you haven't done before.
0:03:13 > 0:03:14I'll have a think about it.
0:03:14 > 0:03:17OK, well if you're still feeling like this in a couple of weeks
0:03:17 > 0:03:19you come back and see me.
0:03:19 > 0:03:22Might be that you could benefit from some counselling.
0:03:23 > 0:03:26OK, I will do. Thanks.
0:03:30 > 0:03:32Any change, love? Eh?
0:03:32 > 0:03:34Stop that! Stop that, immediately!
0:03:34 > 0:03:37Any change for a pie and a cup of tea?
0:03:37 > 0:03:39Even half a cup of tea?
0:03:39 > 0:03:42Did you see that? How good was she at not making eye contact?
0:03:42 > 0:03:44Well, I do not blame her.
0:03:44 > 0:03:47- Mr Beano, you are not much to look at.- Oi!
0:03:48 > 0:03:52Look at that, 50p and a button. It's pathetic.
0:03:52 > 0:03:55It is clear that your charm offensive is not working.
0:03:56 > 0:03:59And if it is food that you are really after,
0:03:59 > 0:04:01you know that nice Mrs Jennings
0:04:01 > 0:04:04will be opening up her soup kitchen very shortly.
0:04:04 > 0:04:06I'm not going anywhere, Mrs T.
0:04:06 > 0:04:09Mr Beano, you cannot do this!
0:04:09 > 0:04:12Well, I am. I've set myself a target, you see.
0:04:13 > 0:04:17Then I am very sorry, I really am going to have to call the police.
0:04:17 > 0:04:20Oi, Mr? Any change?
0:04:20 > 0:04:23Oh, come on, Mr, don't be tight. Bit of change?
0:04:34 > 0:04:35Get yourself a decent meal.
0:04:37 > 0:04:39Thank you!
0:04:39 > 0:04:41Thank you, very much. I will!
0:04:49 > 0:04:50KNOCKING ON DOOR Yeah?
0:04:50 > 0:04:55Heston? I was wondering if you could put in a good word
0:04:55 > 0:04:56and try and get Dad's physio changed?
0:04:56 > 0:05:00I've been hearing some really good things about this new guy.
0:05:00 > 0:05:03Well, any change in treatment needs to be instigated by your dad.
0:05:03 > 0:05:08Have you seen him in the last few days? There's been a real change in him.
0:05:08 > 0:05:09Well, he is my patient
0:05:09 > 0:05:12and as such he deserves a certain degree of confidentiality.
0:05:12 > 0:05:15I'm not sure we really should be having this conversation.
0:05:16 > 0:05:19OK, I was only asking you to put a word in!
0:05:21 > 0:05:23What's happened?
0:05:23 > 0:05:26You're not keeping something from me, are you? He hasn't deteriorated?
0:05:26 > 0:05:30I haven't seen for a week. I'm sure he's absolutely fine.
0:05:30 > 0:05:31Now, if you'll excuse me.
0:05:56 > 0:05:57Paul?
0:05:57 > 0:05:59Will you pay the taxi for me?
0:05:59 > 0:06:02I haven't got any change.
0:06:02 > 0:06:03Of course.
0:06:13 > 0:06:14Take this...
0:06:14 > 0:06:18- and I don't want any change. - Ah, thanks, mate! Are you sure?
0:06:28 > 0:06:29So, did it go as planned?
0:06:30 > 0:06:32Oh, yeah, I've got the all-clear.
0:06:34 > 0:06:36Thank goodness for that!
0:06:36 > 0:06:39We went to Sutherley's in the end. Really busy for a Thursday!
0:06:39 > 0:06:42I wanted the monkfish - you know, they'd actually run out?
0:06:42 > 0:06:44I gave a homeless guy some money today.
0:06:44 > 0:06:47Have you ever got a kick out of just giving something away?
0:06:47 > 0:06:48How much?
0:06:48 > 0:06:51He was filthy, you know, stunk to high heaven!
0:06:51 > 0:06:53Honestly, Paul, he must have seen you coming!
0:06:53 > 0:06:55The look on his face!
0:06:55 > 0:06:57It was 50 quid.
0:06:57 > 0:06:59It was lying in my wallet not doing anything but...
0:06:59 > 0:07:01the difference it made to him.
0:07:01 > 0:07:05- 50?!- Then, when I'd done it, I just felt absolutely fantastic.
0:07:05 > 0:07:07You know, it made me really look outside myself
0:07:07 > 0:07:09and properly connect with the world,
0:07:09 > 0:07:11you know, like I did when I first got ill.
0:07:11 > 0:07:13I make it a rule never to give to beggars.
0:07:13 > 0:07:15Probably went straight off to buy drugs.
0:07:15 > 0:07:17Why do you always think the worst of people?
0:07:19 > 0:07:21I got some new samples today, when I was out.
0:07:21 > 0:07:22I'll show you, shall I?
0:07:22 > 0:07:25What do you think of russet for the new dining room curtains?
0:07:25 > 0:07:26I really don't care.
0:07:30 > 0:07:32Have you given any more thought about going back to work?
0:07:32 > 0:07:34That's what Doctor Tyler said.
0:07:34 > 0:07:35Did you see him?
0:07:35 > 0:07:37It's going to be such a relief to get back to normal!
0:07:37 > 0:07:41"Normal"? Grace, can you not see? I don't want "normal"?
0:07:41 > 0:07:46Paul, it's over. You're well again. There's no need to wallow in it.
0:07:46 > 0:07:48You have no idea, do you?
0:07:48 > 0:07:51- Do you ever get sick of it?- What?
0:07:51 > 0:07:54The endless nail appointments, the lunches, the spa days.
0:07:54 > 0:07:57Do you never get tired of it all?
0:07:57 > 0:07:59You need a change. We should go on holiday.
0:07:59 > 0:08:02The Caribbean? You liked it so much last year.
0:08:02 > 0:08:04A lot has happened to me since then!
0:08:04 > 0:08:05(There's no need to shout.)
0:08:05 > 0:08:08I feel suffocated, more...
0:08:08 > 0:08:11like I'm in a coffin than if I'd actually died!
0:08:11 > 0:08:14Really, Paul! This is nothing that a good holiday can't cure.
0:08:14 > 0:08:17Oh, yeah, getting away from it all? You know what?
0:08:17 > 0:08:21Giving that guy that money today, making someone else feel good,
0:08:21 > 0:08:23that felt like an adventure to me.
0:08:23 > 0:08:28Just to talk to someone like that, just to look him in the eye...
0:08:28 > 0:08:31You want to talk to beggars now?
0:08:31 > 0:08:32Like Mother Teresa?
0:08:34 > 0:08:35I'm going out!
0:08:35 > 0:08:38- I've made you a coffee. - I'm going out!
0:08:38 > 0:08:41# Angels watching over me
0:08:41 > 0:08:44# With smiles upon their face
0:08:44 > 0:08:49# Cos I have made it through this far in an unforgiving place
0:08:49 > 0:08:54# It feels sometimes this is too deep for a girl like me to climb
0:08:54 > 0:08:58# But I must knock those thoughts right down. #
0:08:58 > 0:09:01Looks like your asthma's under control.
0:09:01 > 0:09:03I'll write you a new prescription before you go.
0:09:03 > 0:09:07- A few more questions, though. - Fire away!
0:09:07 > 0:09:08How much do you drink?
0:09:08 > 0:09:11An occasional beer on a hot summer's day,
0:09:11 > 0:09:12the odd nip of whiskey.
0:09:12 > 0:09:14Right.
0:09:14 > 0:09:18Then, of course, I do like to hit the Communion wine sometimes!
0:09:19 > 0:09:22Kidding! THEY LAUGH
0:09:24 > 0:09:25How about exercise?
0:09:25 > 0:09:28Well, I'm a keen bird-watcher
0:09:28 > 0:09:31- so I do like a good yomp around the countryside.- OK.
0:09:34 > 0:09:35What's your diet like?
0:09:35 > 0:09:37Pretty good.
0:09:38 > 0:09:41Ladies like to bake cakes for you, in my job
0:09:41 > 0:09:44but I've got very good at disposing of them diplomatically.
0:09:44 > 0:09:46Even Mrs Tembe's?
0:09:46 > 0:09:48I couldn't possibly comment!
0:09:51 > 0:09:52One more question.
0:09:52 > 0:09:54When was the last time you saw your GP?
0:09:56 > 0:09:57When my wife died.
0:09:59 > 0:10:02The year after her death was a very dark time for me.
0:10:02 > 0:10:03I can imagine.
0:10:06 > 0:10:07He...
0:10:08 > 0:10:10..discussed anti-depressants with me but, in the end,
0:10:10 > 0:10:14we both felt that the grief I was feeling was real.
0:10:14 > 0:10:17The pills would have just masked the natural adjustment I had to make.
0:10:19 > 0:10:21I don't know why I went to the doctor, in the first place.
0:10:21 > 0:10:24I don't know what I expected him to do.
0:10:25 > 0:10:27Of course, the...
0:10:27 > 0:10:29person I most wanted to turn to,
0:10:29 > 0:10:33to talk to about how dreadful I was feeling, was Leslie.
0:10:36 > 0:10:37I still miss her...
0:10:39 > 0:10:41..in sorrow and in joy.
0:10:43 > 0:10:45Seems like you two were very close.
0:10:47 > 0:10:48We were.
0:10:50 > 0:10:54Look, do you mind if I step outside for a moment, just to get some air?
0:10:54 > 0:10:55No, it's fine.
0:10:55 > 0:10:58Just go out of the door and turn left. We've a terrace at the back.
0:10:58 > 0:11:00Thank you. I won't be long.
0:11:00 > 0:11:01Take your time.
0:11:09 > 0:11:11- # I'll tell you what - I'll tell you what
0:11:11 > 0:11:14- # What I have found - What I have found
0:11:14 > 0:11:17- # That I'm no fool - That I'm no fool
0:11:17 > 0:11:19- # I'm just upside down - I'm just upside down
0:11:19 > 0:11:22- # Ain't got no cares - Ain't got no cares
0:11:22 > 0:11:25- # I ain't got no rules - I ain't got no rules
0:11:25 > 0:11:28- # I think I liked - I think I liked
0:11:28 > 0:11:30- # Living upside down. - Living upside down.- #
0:11:33 > 0:11:35DOOR OPENING
0:11:38 > 0:11:40It's OK, Mrs Tembe, please.
0:11:45 > 0:11:49Leslie's death came up when I was chatting with Dr Clay, that's all.
0:11:52 > 0:11:56She was a wonderful woman, I'm not ashamed to be found crying for her.
0:11:56 > 0:11:58Of course not.
0:11:58 > 0:11:59You must miss her every day.
0:12:03 > 0:12:05The grief is still there
0:12:05 > 0:12:09but I can see that...some good has come from losing her.
0:12:09 > 0:12:13Now I can get closer to all those people who have also lost loved ones.
0:12:13 > 0:12:17It is truly wonderful that you can see it like that.
0:12:19 > 0:12:22You've lost your husband, too, haven't you, Mrs Tembe?
0:12:23 > 0:12:25Yes. Yes, I have.
0:12:28 > 0:12:30But it is getting very cold out here
0:12:30 > 0:12:32and you really should not be sitting in it, Reverend.
0:12:32 > 0:12:36I have so much work to catch up with for afternoon surgery.
0:12:36 > 0:12:38So, please, will you come inside?
0:12:40 > 0:12:41Of course.
0:12:56 > 0:12:59Oh, hey, Mr, listen...
0:12:59 > 0:13:04I had to use up all that money you gave me to pay off a debt.
0:13:04 > 0:13:06I had a bad man after me.
0:13:06 > 0:13:07Search me - I ain't got a penny of it left.
0:13:07 > 0:13:09You don't have to explain to me,
0:13:09 > 0:13:12I'm just sorry you couldn't use it to buy food.
0:13:12 > 0:13:14My name's Beano, by the way.
0:13:14 > 0:13:17- Paul.- You're a decent man, Paul.
0:13:17 > 0:13:19Look, Beano...
0:13:20 > 0:13:21..everyone!
0:13:21 > 0:13:23Who'd like to come with me, right now,
0:13:23 > 0:13:26to get a really decent meal, yeah? No expense spared.
0:13:26 > 0:13:29Paul, this might come as a surprise to you
0:13:29 > 0:13:32but a lot of places won't let us in.
0:13:32 > 0:13:36Don't worry about that, my friend, I'll find somewhere.
0:13:36 > 0:13:38What did I tell you? He's off his trolley. Come on.
0:13:43 > 0:13:45- KNOCK AT THE DOOR - Come in.
0:13:48 > 0:13:50Thanks for the chat.
0:13:50 > 0:13:51Any time. You OK?
0:13:51 > 0:13:54Better now. You were very understanding.
0:13:54 > 0:13:56I've lost a few people myself.
0:13:58 > 0:14:01Well, just pop into St Bernie's if you ever need a listening ear.
0:14:02 > 0:14:05Thank you. Listen...
0:14:05 > 0:14:07Don't forget this.
0:14:07 > 0:14:09Oh, thanks.
0:14:10 > 0:14:15I need to be fighting fit with what I've got ahead of me!
0:14:15 > 0:14:16Best of luck!
0:14:16 > 0:14:17Hm!
0:14:21 > 0:14:25"Raising Smiles"? No, I'm sorry, but we don't give to cold callers.
0:14:27 > 0:14:30Oh, yes, that is my husband.
0:14:32 > 0:14:34OK.
0:14:34 > 0:14:41And when you say it's your largest ever single donation, how much?
0:14:44 > 0:14:45Oh?!
0:14:48 > 0:14:49You know, it's true what they say,
0:14:49 > 0:14:53it's not where you are, it's who you're with!
0:14:53 > 0:14:57I'd like to shake each and every one of you by the hand,
0:14:57 > 0:15:00and thank you for your company.
0:15:00 > 0:15:04It's been a wonderful afternoon. I feel like we've really connected.
0:15:04 > 0:15:06I know what you mean...
0:15:06 > 0:15:08you're like a brother to me now.
0:15:08 > 0:15:10- Thank you.- Oh, you know.
0:15:10 > 0:15:13Oh...that's a very nice watch you've got there.
0:15:15 > 0:15:17Have it, I've got a drawer full.
0:15:17 > 0:15:20Oh-ho, that's very decent of you.
0:15:22 > 0:15:23Parting gift?
0:15:26 > 0:15:29- Ooh. Oh! - PHONE RINGING
0:15:32 > 0:15:35Don't spend it all at once, eh?
0:15:35 > 0:15:37Hello! Mr Moneybag's phone.
0:15:37 > 0:15:39Paul? Who is this?
0:15:39 > 0:15:41'I'm his right-hand man.'
0:15:41 > 0:15:43Is Paul there? Can you just put him on?
0:15:43 > 0:15:46Are you his missus? Ha-ha-ha!
0:15:46 > 0:15:50Yeah, oh...if you could see what he's up to this time!
0:15:50 > 0:15:53I bet you'd have his guts for garters!
0:15:53 > 0:15:54'Have you been drinking?'
0:15:54 > 0:15:56Just put Paul on!
0:15:56 > 0:16:02No, he can't talk at this time. He's redistributing his wealth!
0:16:03 > 0:16:04Hello?!
0:16:07 > 0:16:10Here ya, you want to be careful with this now, Mr, it could get robbed.
0:16:10 > 0:16:12Thank you. Thanks.
0:16:13 > 0:16:18Well, I'd better be off - people to see and all that.
0:16:18 > 0:16:20Take care of yourselves, yeah?
0:16:27 > 0:16:29- Mrs Lavello?- I thought he had the all-clear?
0:16:29 > 0:16:30I'm sorry, I couldn't stop her.
0:16:30 > 0:16:32She said she thought her husband was dying.
0:16:32 > 0:16:36- Well, is he?- I'll leave you to it.
0:16:36 > 0:16:37No, what makes you think that?
0:16:37 > 0:16:40He's just given £500,000
0:16:40 > 0:16:43to a charity he's never even mentioned before
0:16:43 > 0:16:45and when I tried to contact him
0:16:45 > 0:16:47some crazy, drunken person answered the phone.
0:16:47 > 0:16:49I don't how I'm supposed to...
0:16:49 > 0:16:51The only explanation I can think of
0:16:51 > 0:16:53is that he's been told he doesn't have long to live.
0:16:53 > 0:16:56He came to see you earlier, what did you talk about?
0:16:57 > 0:17:00I really couldn't bear all those hospital visits again.
0:17:00 > 0:17:03I can't tell you what we talked about, I'm afraid, it's confidential.
0:17:03 > 0:17:06"Confidential"? I have a right to know!
0:17:07 > 0:17:10- Can I have quick word.- Sure.
0:17:10 > 0:17:11Something happened?
0:17:11 > 0:17:14Chris was pushing me about his father's treatment this morning
0:17:14 > 0:17:16and I felt in a very awkward position.
0:17:16 > 0:17:19You're in an awkward position?!
0:17:19 > 0:17:23Oh, look, Sam wants to tell Chris himself but I don't know when.
0:17:23 > 0:17:26- Maybe tomorrow - perhaps at the weekend?- Tell me what?
0:17:30 > 0:17:31Could he be depressed?
0:17:31 > 0:17:35Does he need, you know, should he have counselling, or something?
0:17:35 > 0:17:39We had an argument earlier. He's just been so mopey lately.
0:17:39 > 0:17:41You need to talk to your husband.
0:17:41 > 0:17:43Clearly lost it.
0:17:43 > 0:17:45Maybe I should apply for power of attorney
0:17:45 > 0:17:47before he offloads all of our money?
0:17:47 > 0:17:49Maybe then I could get the cheque stopped?
0:17:49 > 0:17:51Would you support me in that?
0:17:51 > 0:17:54Extreme generosity isn't necessarily a sign of insanity.
0:17:54 > 0:17:56You wouldn't be saying that
0:17:56 > 0:17:59if it was your partner giving away all your money!
0:17:59 > 0:18:01Talk to HIM.
0:18:06 > 0:18:07- Talk to me!- I can't.
0:18:07 > 0:18:11- This needs to come from your dad. - WHAT does?
0:18:11 > 0:18:14- It's too late for that, I need to know now!- Chris...
0:18:14 > 0:18:15Tell me!
0:18:15 > 0:18:19If there's something wrong with Dad then I need to know!
0:18:19 > 0:18:21All right. All right, just sit down.
0:18:26 > 0:18:27This isn't easy...
0:18:29 > 0:18:35..your dad has decided that he can't live with his condition any more.
0:18:37 > 0:18:39What d'you mean?
0:18:42 > 0:18:44He intends to take his own life.
0:18:45 > 0:18:46(What?!)
0:18:47 > 0:18:51Look, I've told him that I am completely against it.
0:18:51 > 0:18:54What are you TALKING about, Mum?! Look, he would never do that!
0:18:55 > 0:18:57He wouldn't just leave me!
0:18:57 > 0:19:00Look, I know and I have told him how heartbroken you'd be...
0:19:00 > 0:19:03- SHOUTS:- It's NOT going to happen...
0:19:05 > 0:19:07..OK?
0:19:07 > 0:19:10I won't allow it!
0:19:11 > 0:19:12He's not in his right mind.
0:19:14 > 0:19:15That's all!
0:19:25 > 0:19:27She's yours - enjoy!
0:19:27 > 0:19:30Oh, thanks very much. Ha, yeah! Ha-ha! Yeah.
0:19:30 > 0:19:31Lovely.
0:19:37 > 0:19:40Way-hey! Ha-ha-ha! Woo-hoo!
0:19:53 > 0:19:55What d'you think you're doing?
0:19:55 > 0:19:56What...
0:19:57 > 0:19:58..it's my money.
0:20:01 > 0:20:02What's happened?
0:20:04 > 0:20:06What's he done?
0:20:06 > 0:20:07Messed up.
0:20:08 > 0:20:11I'm afraid your husband has been on a bit of a spree.
0:20:11 > 0:20:13He's given away a hell of a lot of money
0:20:13 > 0:20:16and we've been cleaning up after him all afternoon.
0:20:16 > 0:20:17I'm sorry, I don't understand?
0:20:17 > 0:20:21Well, for a start there's the drink-fuelled fight we've had to break up,
0:20:21 > 0:20:23there's the injuries sustained to the people stampeding -
0:20:23 > 0:20:26trying to get hold of the money that he's scattered around,
0:20:26 > 0:20:29there's the massive injection of cash into the drug market...
0:20:29 > 0:20:30Don't say anything.
0:20:30 > 0:20:33Oh, yes, and the man of no fixed abode we had to arrest
0:20:33 > 0:20:35because he was driving your husband's sports car drunk.
0:20:35 > 0:20:37You gave away your CAR?!
0:20:37 > 0:20:41What about ownership papers, insurance?
0:20:41 > 0:20:43I didn't think.
0:20:43 > 0:20:45- Will he go to prison? - For goodness' sake, Grace!
0:20:45 > 0:20:48It's still not absolutely illegal in this country to give money away!
0:20:48 > 0:20:51No, but you've got to understand that you have been irresponsible.
0:20:51 > 0:20:53I mean, did it never occur to you
0:20:53 > 0:20:54that the people you were giving your money to
0:20:54 > 0:20:56would spend it on drink and drugs?
0:20:56 > 0:20:59What's wrong with giving it to charity, for goodness' sake?
0:20:59 > 0:21:02- I liked seeing the people my money's helping.- "Helping"?!
0:21:02 > 0:21:04Look, it just got out of hand, all right?
0:21:05 > 0:21:09Life's been a bit...sterile lately
0:21:09 > 0:21:15and it sounds pathetic but I got a buzz out of giving stuff away,
0:21:15 > 0:21:17stuff that didn't mean anything to me any more.
0:21:17 > 0:21:19And talking to people -
0:21:19 > 0:21:22guys I'd usually walk past without a second thought.
0:21:23 > 0:21:24I can only apologise.
0:21:24 > 0:21:26You've been a complete idiot.
0:21:26 > 0:21:29You're lucky they haven't locked you up!
0:21:29 > 0:21:32Don't forget, you need to come down to the station
0:21:32 > 0:21:35in the next couple of days. It'll probably be just a caution.
0:21:35 > 0:21:37Look, I know you meant well
0:21:37 > 0:21:40but next time, just stop and think, yeah?
0:21:40 > 0:21:43Don't worry, Sergeant, I'll make sure there isn't a next time.
0:21:43 > 0:21:46- OK, I'll leave you to it.- Thank you.
0:21:48 > 0:21:51What on EARTH were you thinking?!
0:21:51 > 0:21:53At least if you had been about to snuff it
0:21:53 > 0:21:55you might have had some sort of an excuse!
0:22:14 > 0:22:16What about me?
0:22:16 > 0:22:18Did you stop for one second,
0:22:18 > 0:22:20while you were out there making a fool of yourself,
0:22:20 > 0:22:24- to think about me? - This isn't about you!
0:22:24 > 0:22:25Something important has happened!
0:22:25 > 0:22:29I came close to death and it's made me rethink everything -
0:22:29 > 0:22:33my identity, my values, the things that make me happy!
0:22:34 > 0:22:36And I don't make you happy?
0:22:38 > 0:22:40The cancer affected me too, you know.
0:22:40 > 0:22:44The endless hospital visits, having to change our diet...
0:22:45 > 0:22:48..seeing you in pain.
0:22:48 > 0:22:50The fear that I might actually lose you.
0:22:50 > 0:22:54Oh, come off it, Grace, you're as tough as old boots!
0:22:54 > 0:22:56You just didn't like having your routines disturbed
0:22:56 > 0:22:59and that's really why you didn't want a child in the first place, isn't it?
0:22:59 > 0:23:03I know, at the time, I agreed to it, but...
0:23:06 > 0:23:10..the cancer, the recovery, today -
0:23:10 > 0:23:15they've all made me stop and look back over last few years and just...
0:23:15 > 0:23:17see how empty they've been.
0:23:18 > 0:23:19So what are you saying?
0:23:22 > 0:23:24I admit...
0:23:24 > 0:23:27that after the diagnosis, I did cling to you
0:23:27 > 0:23:32but I now see that...I was just terrified of dying alone.
0:23:33 > 0:23:36You used me, then?
0:23:36 > 0:23:37Maybe.
0:23:37 > 0:23:41Or maybe I thought that having something real in our lives,
0:23:41 > 0:23:47that wasn't another holiday or a new wallpaper, or some fabric sample,
0:23:47 > 0:23:50MIGHT actually bring us closer together.
0:23:52 > 0:23:53What about the house?
0:23:55 > 0:23:56It's yours...
0:23:56 > 0:23:59I can't stand the sight of it any more.
0:24:00 > 0:24:01So that's it?
0:24:04 > 0:24:06I need a fresh start.
0:24:08 > 0:24:10I was a fool today...
0:24:10 > 0:24:14but...it's made me see that
0:24:14 > 0:24:16I need to give myself to something...
0:24:16 > 0:24:17Or someone?
0:24:20 > 0:24:22You'll be better off without me.
0:24:22 > 0:24:25I really think I should be the judge of that.
0:24:28 > 0:24:30I'll make sure you're OK for money.
0:24:36 > 0:24:38So here I am again - quite a few quid lighter
0:24:38 > 0:24:40and with a defunct marriage to boot.
0:24:40 > 0:24:42Maybe I should have that counselling, eh?
0:24:42 > 0:24:44I can arrange that for you.
0:24:44 > 0:24:46You certainly need to take a step back
0:24:46 > 0:24:48before you make any more big changes.
0:24:49 > 0:24:52Take the time to discover what really matters to you.
0:24:52 > 0:24:54Find out what you really value.
0:24:55 > 0:24:57That's good advice, thanks.
0:24:59 > 0:25:01I'd stick with this if I were you, Dr Tyler,
0:25:01 > 0:25:03the high life isn't all it's cracked up to be.
0:25:05 > 0:25:10# If that's all there is, my friend
0:25:10 > 0:25:14# Then let's keep dancing
0:25:14 > 0:25:17# Let's break out the booze...
0:25:17 > 0:25:20SHE SHOUTS AND CRIES
0:25:24 > 0:25:27# If that's all
0:25:28 > 0:25:33# There is. #
0:25:43 > 0:25:46Chris...
0:25:46 > 0:25:47This is all your doing.
0:25:49 > 0:25:50What?!
0:25:52 > 0:25:56Dad would never have thought about this if you hadn't put the idea in his head.
0:25:56 > 0:25:58Of course I didn't!
0:25:58 > 0:25:59I hate the idea as much as you do!
0:25:59 > 0:26:03- I don't believe you!- Why would I?
0:26:03 > 0:26:04He'd do anything for you.
0:26:05 > 0:26:09He's always idolised you, made excuses for you...
0:26:09 > 0:26:11who knows why?
0:26:12 > 0:26:16The only reason he'd want to do this...
0:26:16 > 0:26:18is to stop being a burden to you
0:26:18 > 0:26:20- and that's why you're going along with it.- No, you're wrong!
0:26:20 > 0:26:23You want to clear away your sick, worn-out husband
0:26:23 > 0:26:25so that you can carry on enjoying your life.
0:26:25 > 0:26:27That's what matters to you!
0:26:27 > 0:26:28- This is ridiculous!- No.
0:26:29 > 0:26:32I know you too well, Mum.
0:26:32 > 0:26:36You're just a selfish bitch who wants it easy...
0:26:36 > 0:26:38and letting your husband sacrifice himself
0:26:38 > 0:26:41would suit you right down to the ground.
0:26:42 > 0:26:44- Chris...- Get out of my way!
0:26:53 > 0:26:57And what about Micky? What about his family?
0:26:57 > 0:26:58Unblemished safety record -
0:26:58 > 0:27:00you'd better make sure it stays that way
0:27:00 > 0:27:02or you'll have more than a fat lip.
0:27:02 > 0:27:04I know how you must feel...
0:27:04 > 0:27:07My son is dead, how could you possibly know how I feel?
0:27:07 > 0:27:11The only person Mum cares about is herself.
0:27:11 > 0:27:16Don't you ever...talk about your mother like that again!
0:27:37 > 0:27:40Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd