Fifty Shades of Beige

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0:00:34 > 0:00:36Louisa!

0:00:36 > 0:00:39Louisa, don't come down. I'm leaving something for you.

0:01:21 > 0:01:24- PHONE:- 'Croissant. 330 calories.

0:01:25 > 0:01:26'Warning! High fat.

0:01:27 > 0:01:29'Put that croissant in the bin.

0:01:30 > 0:01:32'Head held high and gut sucked in.'

0:01:32 > 0:01:34PHONE RINGS

0:01:34 > 0:01:35Hello?

0:01:35 > 0:01:39- Hey, I'm just calling to check we're still on for tonight.- No.

0:01:39 > 0:01:40No, we're not.

0:01:42 > 0:01:44Please, Zara!

0:01:44 > 0:01:47Please what, Daniel? More talk?

0:01:47 > 0:01:49- But things have changed. I've... - Changed?

0:01:49 > 0:01:52From where I'm standing, not enough.

0:01:52 > 0:01:53Please, just...

0:01:54 > 0:01:57OK, just tell me what to do and I'll do it.

0:01:57 > 0:01:58All I want is time with Joe.

0:01:58 > 0:02:00How can there be anything wrong

0:02:00 > 0:02:03with wanting to spend time alone with my son?

0:02:03 > 0:02:06Seriously? You seriously want me to answer that?

0:02:28 > 0:02:30- PHONE:- 'When we move, We drop the pounds.'

0:02:33 > 0:02:36Free tickets to another event? Are they mad?

0:02:36 > 0:02:38Do they think I'm mad?

0:02:38 > 0:02:40They call that entertainment?

0:02:40 > 0:02:43They're lucky they didn't have any real stiffs.

0:02:43 > 0:02:46Wouldn't have been laughing if I'd had a heart attack, would they?

0:02:46 > 0:02:48I do not think any of us would have.

0:02:48 > 0:02:51What about Snotty Carmichael, queen of the perpetual sneer?

0:02:54 > 0:02:56It was not all bad.

0:02:56 > 0:02:59Gordon gave it a go, didn't he?

0:02:59 > 0:03:02He almost makes me want to go to church, that man.

0:03:02 > 0:03:04Bit of clerical eye candy.

0:03:05 > 0:03:08I bet they were all smiling in the pews.

0:03:08 > 0:03:10I am going to take a comfort break.

0:03:10 > 0:03:12- Is it something I said? - Usually is.

0:03:13 > 0:03:15- PHONE:- 'You have burned 89...'

0:03:15 > 0:03:17You've got the GI Diet and Exercise App?

0:03:17 > 0:03:19Me too!

0:03:19 > 0:03:21Have you tried scanning nutrition panels with it yet?

0:03:21 > 0:03:22It's amazing.

0:03:22 > 0:03:26"Beep-beep! Warning! High sugar. Beep-beep! Warning! High fat.

0:03:26 > 0:03:29"Danger, Will Robinson! Danger!"

0:03:29 > 0:03:30I'm using it mostly as a pedometer.

0:03:30 > 0:03:33You can make it GP-specific, you know.

0:03:34 > 0:03:39# Da-da-da-da-da. #

0:03:39 > 0:03:42Touch the medical bag icon. Go on, dare you. Go on!

0:03:44 > 0:03:46- PHONE:- 'When we move, we drop the pounds.

0:03:46 > 0:03:49'Leave your car and walk your rounds.'

0:03:49 > 0:03:50Get in!

0:03:50 > 0:03:51Thanks for that.

0:03:53 > 0:03:56You're trying to rush me, Daniel. Stop harassing me!

0:03:56 > 0:03:58- I don't mean to. - Well, you are.

0:03:58 > 0:04:01I'm just asking you to appreciate how important this is to me,

0:04:01 > 0:04:03that's all. Joe gets one childhood...

0:04:03 > 0:04:06- Which you are lucky to be part of. - I need to be with him more.

0:04:06 > 0:04:09Then rather than pushing, pushing, pushing, I suggest you back off

0:04:09 > 0:04:12and give me credit for the understanding I've shown so far.

0:04:12 > 0:04:15Yeah, you understand me so much it hurts.

0:04:17 > 0:04:20You're having lunch with me at the Icon today.

0:04:20 > 0:04:21I am?

0:04:21 > 0:04:23It'll be nice. Give you a bit of a breather.

0:04:23 > 0:04:25Amen to that.

0:04:25 > 0:04:26Tea?

0:04:26 > 0:04:28Oh, yes, please.

0:04:28 > 0:04:29- Lapsang?- Yes.

0:04:31 > 0:04:34Al, you've forgotten your list.

0:04:34 > 0:04:35Thanks.

0:04:37 > 0:04:38Hey, Gordon.

0:04:38 > 0:04:42Morning. I just thought I'd pop in and say hello to Mrs Tembe.

0:04:42 > 0:04:46Oh, you've just missed her. How are you today?

0:04:46 > 0:04:50Fine, fine. Mrs Tembe, really? Have I?

0:04:50 > 0:04:51Afraid so.

0:04:51 > 0:04:53Oh.

0:04:53 > 0:04:57Well, OK, I was just passing, so I thought I'd pop in.

0:04:58 > 0:05:01Perhaps I'll pop back later.

0:05:01 > 0:05:04Well, you could. You should.

0:05:04 > 0:05:06You'll tell her I popped by?

0:05:06 > 0:05:07I most certainly will.

0:05:07 > 0:05:09Great.

0:05:10 > 0:05:13Actually, perhaps I should have my blood pressure checked.

0:05:15 > 0:05:17Do you need your blood pressure checking?

0:05:17 > 0:05:19Sometimes I feel a bit flushed.

0:05:19 > 0:05:24I'll tell you what. Why don't I ring you with an appointment later?

0:05:24 > 0:05:26Save you waiting.

0:05:26 > 0:05:29Yes, right, great.

0:05:29 > 0:05:30Thank you.

0:05:59 > 0:06:02Small hot chocolate with skimmed milk, please.

0:06:02 > 0:06:03- Skinny?- Skimmed.

0:06:03 > 0:06:05Anything with that?

0:06:05 > 0:06:07All-day breakfast baguette served till eleven.

0:06:07 > 0:06:09What's in it?

0:06:09 > 0:06:12Choice of three. Bacon, veggie bacon, sausage, veggie sausage,

0:06:12 > 0:06:14black pudding or eggs.

0:06:14 > 0:06:17Onions are free, mushrooms are 50p extra.

0:06:17 > 0:06:18I could always fry your baguette.

0:06:19 > 0:06:21Mineral water, flat.

0:06:21 > 0:06:24Scratch the hot chocolate, but I would like a blueberry muffin.

0:06:24 > 0:06:26Low fat?

0:06:26 > 0:06:27Yes, please.

0:06:35 > 0:06:37You going to tell me what's going on?

0:06:37 > 0:06:38I covered for you.

0:06:38 > 0:06:42I have no idea what you mean.

0:06:42 > 0:06:44You crawled through reception on all fours.

0:06:44 > 0:06:46I lost a button.

0:06:46 > 0:06:48Was it a very important one?

0:06:48 > 0:06:49I thought so at the time.

0:06:49 > 0:06:52Why did you hide? What's going on with you and the vicar?

0:06:54 > 0:06:56I, er...

0:06:56 > 0:06:58I just don't want to bump into Reverend Clement.

0:06:58 > 0:07:00Well, evidently not, but why not?

0:07:02 > 0:07:05I am anxious that he plans to make a declaration.

0:07:07 > 0:07:09A declaration for which I must respond.

0:07:12 > 0:07:15I am finding it a bit discombobulating.

0:07:16 > 0:07:18You push his buttons!

0:07:18 > 0:07:21That is enough talk of buttons.

0:07:21 > 0:07:23Well, pull up your pop socks and slap on a girdle.

0:07:23 > 0:07:25He's coming back later.

0:07:28 > 0:07:30PHONE RINGS

0:07:33 > 0:07:34Hi, is it...waiter?

0:07:34 > 0:07:36Minute.

0:07:36 > 0:07:38Take a seat. With you once I've wiped my pipes.

0:07:40 > 0:07:45Window seat is probably better. But I'd avoid the muffin. Stale.

0:07:48 > 0:07:50Salad-dodging flabalanche.

0:07:50 > 0:07:52Breakfast baguettes've finished.

0:07:52 > 0:07:53Now, then, what can I get you two?

0:07:59 > 0:08:01After you, Dr Carmichael.

0:08:03 > 0:08:08Mrs Hollins, about before...

0:08:08 > 0:08:09Fantastic!

0:08:09 > 0:08:11You walked your rounds, then?

0:08:11 > 0:08:13Incredible, isn't it?

0:08:14 > 0:08:17Some swine has stolen my wallet.

0:08:17 > 0:08:18Oh, no.

0:08:18 > 0:08:20I'll have to cancel all the cards now.

0:08:20 > 0:08:24If you dropped it, it might have been handed in to the police.

0:08:24 > 0:08:26Maybe in the happy-clappy world.

0:08:28 > 0:08:31PHONE RINGS

0:08:31 > 0:08:32Mill Health Centre.

0:08:34 > 0:08:36PHONE RINGS

0:08:39 > 0:08:40What?

0:08:40 > 0:08:41Putting you through.

0:08:44 > 0:08:46Dr Haskey speaking.

0:08:46 > 0:08:48Hello, Dr Haskey. My name's Louisa Truelove.

0:08:48 > 0:08:49I've got your wallet,

0:08:49 > 0:08:53and I was wondering if you wouldn't mind coming to collect it.

0:08:58 > 0:08:59What are you doing?

0:08:59 > 0:09:02Ssssh. Caller ID, return call.

0:09:03 > 0:09:07'Mate for life, love for ever, your heart is safe in our hands.'

0:09:07 > 0:09:10I'm so sorry, I was just after a plumber.

0:09:12 > 0:09:13That is atrocious!

0:09:13 > 0:09:15"Mate for life, love for ever."

0:09:18 > 0:09:21I don't need to tell you how delighted we are to have you back.

0:09:22 > 0:09:25No, but it would be nice to hear it.

0:09:25 > 0:09:27Well, we are. You were missed.

0:09:27 > 0:09:29And now you're combining motherhood...

0:09:29 > 0:09:30Single motherhood.

0:09:30 > 0:09:33..single motherhood with a very demanding career.

0:09:33 > 0:09:34You're doing marvellously.

0:09:36 > 0:09:39Do I sound like a patronising prig?

0:09:39 > 0:09:40No. I'm coping.

0:09:42 > 0:09:43I know things aren't easy.

0:09:46 > 0:09:49Sometimes I do feel overwhelmed.

0:09:50 > 0:09:53Sometimes that shows.

0:09:55 > 0:09:56I am trying!

0:09:56 > 0:09:57I know.

0:09:59 > 0:10:00What can we do to help?

0:10:00 > 0:10:02Off the top of my head?

0:10:02 > 0:10:05Lessening my workplace interaction with heels and halfwits

0:10:05 > 0:10:06could do the trick.

0:10:06 > 0:10:07You asked.

0:10:09 > 0:10:10They're the problem?

0:10:10 > 0:10:15Daniel is stifling and unremitting, and as for Captain Howard,

0:10:15 > 0:10:17I've seen more military might in a cupcake.

0:10:19 > 0:10:20Nothing to do with you, then.

0:10:20 > 0:10:22What are you suggesting?

0:10:22 > 0:10:25Oh, I see, you're picking off the weakest one first.

0:10:25 > 0:10:27I hope you've got pep talks scheduled with the two of them.

0:10:27 > 0:10:28No.

0:10:28 > 0:10:31What? Seriously? You're singling me out?

0:10:33 > 0:10:34Zara, sit down.

0:10:34 > 0:10:35This is outrageous!

0:10:35 > 0:10:36Please sit down.

0:10:41 > 0:10:42Thank you.

0:10:44 > 0:10:45Try not to overreact.

0:10:46 > 0:10:49The Mill is in complete chaos at the moment.

0:10:49 > 0:10:51- It's not my fault. - But I think we can fix it.

0:10:51 > 0:10:54Yesterday you were all for dissolving the partnership.

0:10:54 > 0:10:56That was a warning shot across the bows

0:10:56 > 0:10:58to try and focus everyone's attention.

0:10:59 > 0:11:01I know you're under a great deal of pressure.

0:11:01 > 0:11:04It is not my fault.

0:11:04 > 0:11:07It's all on top of me, all of the time.

0:11:08 > 0:11:12Every time I close my eyes, just for a moment,

0:11:12 > 0:11:15I open them and Daniel is there,

0:11:15 > 0:11:21wanting something, asking for something. There, always.

0:11:21 > 0:11:22I know.

0:11:24 > 0:11:27I don't want it to be like this.

0:11:27 > 0:11:30A saint would be resentful.

0:11:30 > 0:11:31Exhaustion.

0:11:32 > 0:11:35But, Zara, it's caustic.

0:11:37 > 0:11:39That's what we have to confront.

0:11:42 > 0:11:43Don't you think I've tried?

0:11:55 > 0:11:57Dr Haskey?

0:11:57 > 0:11:58Have we met before?

0:11:58 > 0:11:59Louisa Truelove.

0:12:01 > 0:12:02Truelove?

0:12:05 > 0:12:06Is that a stage name?

0:12:06 > 0:12:10Ironically not, but, please, call me Louisa.

0:12:12 > 0:12:14You were too quick this morning.

0:12:14 > 0:12:16The coffee shop.

0:12:16 > 0:12:18With that posturing, muscle-bound douchebag.

0:12:18 > 0:12:22I didn't think I'd see this again. Thanks. Would've been a complete nightmare.

0:12:22 > 0:12:23I know.

0:12:23 > 0:12:29So, I thought that maybe in return I could make a little hay?

0:12:30 > 0:12:32Doctor, do you mind if I ask you..?

0:12:32 > 0:12:34Something medical?

0:12:34 > 0:12:38The done thing is to point you in the direction of your own GP.

0:12:38 > 0:12:41I have an almost pathological need for discretion.

0:12:41 > 0:12:42I'm at the Mill Health Centre.

0:12:43 > 0:12:44And?

0:12:44 > 0:12:48One of your receptionists became a near neighbour here about a year ago.

0:12:48 > 0:12:51I went to her housewarming.

0:12:51 > 0:12:54Can you imagine Karen Hollins passing up the opportunity

0:12:54 > 0:12:56to nosey into her neighbour's business?

0:12:56 > 0:12:59Gobby Hollins? I don't think so.

0:12:59 > 0:13:00PHONE RINGS

0:13:00 > 0:13:03- Sorry. I've got to take this. - Do you want me to..?

0:13:03 > 0:13:04No, no, it's fine.

0:13:06 > 0:13:07Andrew. How are you?

0:13:09 > 0:13:10You having a wee bit of a wobble?

0:13:10 > 0:13:13Right, so what do we say to ourselves?

0:13:13 > 0:13:17You are a wonderful and beautiful man.

0:13:17 > 0:13:19And you deserve that wonderful woman

0:13:19 > 0:13:23and that wonderful million-pound house, because...?

0:13:23 > 0:13:26Right. Wonderful and beautiful.

0:13:26 > 0:13:29So be interested in her.

0:13:29 > 0:13:31OK, I'll talk to you tomorrow.

0:13:31 > 0:13:32Bye.

0:13:33 > 0:13:34Sorry about that.

0:13:36 > 0:13:40These are delicious, the salted caramels are my favourite.

0:13:40 > 0:13:42Want one?

0:13:42 > 0:13:43I can't, I'm detoxing.

0:13:43 > 0:13:44Shame.

0:13:44 > 0:13:49- PHONE:- 'You can do it. Yes, you can. Inside you is one buff man.'

0:13:49 > 0:13:53I have this app. I suspect it might be psychic. It turns itself on.

0:13:54 > 0:13:55I hate technology.

0:13:57 > 0:13:59Doctor, I really think I've got a strep throat,

0:13:59 > 0:14:03and I know that can be really nasty if you pass it on,

0:14:03 > 0:14:04so would you just..?

0:14:06 > 0:14:07Please?

0:14:09 > 0:14:10Go on, let's have a look.

0:14:14 > 0:14:17I hate the sort of women who snivel in wine bars.

0:14:17 > 0:14:18I'm rather fond of this one.

0:14:20 > 0:14:22Do you really want to hear it, Heston?

0:14:24 > 0:14:25I wouldn't if I were you.

0:14:25 > 0:14:27I hope I'm your friend.

0:14:29 > 0:14:32I tend to bum my friends out at the moment.

0:14:32 > 0:14:35Being a constant puddle of misery does that.

0:14:35 > 0:14:37I have very broad shoulders.

0:14:42 > 0:14:46People think, and I thought,

0:14:47 > 0:14:48that I could get over anything.

0:14:50 > 0:14:55Put the deceit and the betrayal into a compartment and that was that.

0:14:58 > 0:15:01But the fact that he turned to her, Heston.

0:15:03 > 0:15:04It wasn't "just sex".

0:15:06 > 0:15:10Daniel was aching and in need.

0:15:10 > 0:15:13He turned to her for comfort because he couldn't find ease with me.

0:15:17 > 0:15:18She delivered my son.

0:15:20 > 0:15:21She saved his life.

0:15:24 > 0:15:25I owe her everything...

0:15:29 > 0:15:30..and I hate her...

0:15:32 > 0:15:34..because then she did that.

0:15:37 > 0:15:40No-one planned anything.

0:15:40 > 0:15:43If you think about it long enough, you see plans.

0:15:43 > 0:15:45Don't think about it.

0:15:47 > 0:15:50Betrayal to one side. What about Joe?

0:15:52 > 0:15:54Did Daniel hurt Joe?

0:15:54 > 0:15:57He was so angry, Heston.

0:15:57 > 0:16:00He was holding him at arm's length. If I hadn't been there...

0:16:00 > 0:16:01But you were.

0:16:03 > 0:16:08Daniel was suffering from a temporary mental imbalance.

0:16:08 > 0:16:09You have to move forward.

0:16:11 > 0:16:14Did you give Marina the benefit of the doubt?

0:16:14 > 0:16:16Didn't you tell yourself that she was just

0:16:16 > 0:16:18temporarily mentally imbalanced?

0:16:20 > 0:16:22I knew, if I'm honest...

0:16:24 > 0:16:28..that from the very first slap she would do it again and again.

0:16:29 > 0:16:32Then how can you be so sure about Daniel?

0:16:32 > 0:16:38Because I have seen him suffer to win your trust.

0:16:38 > 0:16:42I mean, this is a man who had sought out help and accepted it.

0:16:46 > 0:16:49So I'm supposed to give him a second chance,

0:16:49 > 0:16:51even if it puts Joe at risk?

0:16:55 > 0:16:56If there was a rash,

0:16:56 > 0:16:59it was probably just a spot of contact dermatitis.

0:16:59 > 0:17:00So it's not impetigo?

0:17:00 > 0:17:02- Definitely not.- Scabies?

0:17:02 > 0:17:04You haven't got scabies.

0:17:04 > 0:17:08Actually, you know what, I think I've got the beginnings of a verruca.

0:17:08 > 0:17:10You want me to look at your foot now?

0:17:10 > 0:17:13Would you mind? Verrucas can be very catching, can't they?

0:17:13 > 0:17:17Right. If you went swimming and you didn't wear a swim sock,

0:17:17 > 0:17:20and if you skipped past that little pool of gloopy disinfectant,

0:17:20 > 0:17:23and then if you rubbed your pestilent foot all over

0:17:23 > 0:17:26the sole of an innocent, you might - I repeat, might -

0:17:26 > 0:17:29be responsible for a minor verruca outbreak.

0:17:30 > 0:17:34So how about you tell me why you're so desperate to be quarantined?

0:17:36 > 0:17:39I suppose I blame myself.

0:17:39 > 0:17:40For what?

0:17:41 > 0:17:44Playing my part in bringing him to that point.

0:17:44 > 0:17:46He was ill.

0:17:46 > 0:17:47I can still see him.

0:17:47 > 0:17:50What he did. I don't want to, but I can.

0:17:52 > 0:17:55Can you give Daniel a chance to earn your trust?

0:17:56 > 0:17:58I don't know.

0:17:58 > 0:17:59You do know.

0:18:00 > 0:18:04You do want to resolve it. You do want to trust him.

0:18:05 > 0:18:07Maybe.

0:18:11 > 0:18:12There are three people in the partnership.

0:18:13 > 0:18:16You want to talk about work? Now?!

0:18:16 > 0:18:18And the most important is little,

0:18:18 > 0:18:21apple-cheeked, with a disarming giggle.

0:18:23 > 0:18:27Joe could have a mum and a dad who love him.

0:18:27 > 0:18:30Daniel has been a wonderful father for Izzy - let him do that for Joe.

0:18:31 > 0:18:34And, as you brought it up, would a spot of equilibrium

0:18:34 > 0:18:37at the practice be such a bad thing?

0:18:44 > 0:18:46I can't go on a date.

0:18:46 > 0:18:47I don't date.

0:18:47 > 0:18:51I'm only great at dating when it's other people's dating.

0:18:53 > 0:18:54A mate set me up with somebody,

0:18:54 > 0:18:57and it was just by e-mail until this morning.

0:18:57 > 0:19:00Then I got a present on the doorstep.

0:19:01 > 0:19:03You see, if I had something contagious, I could cancel,

0:19:03 > 0:19:06and I think if I cancel again then he might just leave it.

0:19:06 > 0:19:10Just tell him you've got gonorrhoea. That should put him off for good.

0:19:11 > 0:19:14But why don't you date?

0:19:14 > 0:19:15Oh, please.

0:19:15 > 0:19:16No, I'm serious, why not?

0:19:18 > 0:19:19Traumatic experience?

0:19:21 > 0:19:24I have dated three men in my life.

0:19:24 > 0:19:26Henry Wong, Philip Leash...

0:19:27 > 0:19:30..and Nigel Batchelor.

0:19:31 > 0:19:34Henry was gay, but he wasn't sure until I kissed him.

0:19:35 > 0:19:38Philip tried to defraud me. The police got involved,

0:19:38 > 0:19:40I wasn't the only one, he got three years.

0:19:41 > 0:19:42And Nigel?

0:19:42 > 0:19:44Nigel didn't turn up for our wedding.

0:19:44 > 0:19:46Scumbag.

0:19:46 > 0:19:48He had an excuse.

0:19:48 > 0:19:50He'd died in the barber's chair that morning.

0:19:50 > 0:19:53He'd been complaining of headaches for weeks.

0:19:53 > 0:19:54And when he died,

0:19:54 > 0:19:58you decided to become some sort of beige Queen Victoria?

0:19:59 > 0:20:02You've draped yourself in fifty shades of beige,

0:20:02 > 0:20:04and put yourself back on the shelf?

0:20:04 > 0:20:06Well, I'm glad you find it so funny.

0:20:06 > 0:20:07I don't.

0:20:08 > 0:20:10Have you got a girlfriend?

0:20:10 > 0:20:12Is that a professional enquiry?

0:20:12 > 0:20:13It wasn't a pass.

0:20:15 > 0:20:17Not that it's any of your business...

0:20:17 > 0:20:20It's just that I've got lots of female clients,

0:20:20 > 0:20:22you know, who are in the market for...

0:20:24 > 0:20:26Nice try. We're not talking about me.

0:20:26 > 0:20:28I could match you up like that.

0:20:28 > 0:20:31Pack it in. Come on, stop hiding behind the beige and risk it.

0:20:31 > 0:20:35I sort out other people's relationships. I don't have them.

0:20:35 > 0:20:36Why?

0:20:36 > 0:20:38Because you're scared.

0:20:38 > 0:20:41You are not just some emotional facilitator.

0:20:41 > 0:20:43So what if you get rejected?

0:20:43 > 0:20:46So what if you don't fit in to the norm?

0:20:46 > 0:20:48So what if they just don't see you in that way?

0:20:48 > 0:20:50I don't think I'm not normal.

0:20:50 > 0:20:52If you're never really scared, then you're never really alive.

0:20:52 > 0:20:56You have to put yourself out there even if it means getting hurt.

0:20:56 > 0:20:58Even if it means that you have to hear,

0:20:59 > 0:21:02"I'm your friend, I just don't see you in that way."

0:21:02 > 0:21:06That hurts, but you pick yourself up and you get out there.

0:21:06 > 0:21:09Then they'll say, "But I still want to be able to hug you."

0:21:09 > 0:21:12"You're my squeezable friend",

0:21:12 > 0:21:17which, by the way, is doublespeak for "I do not date big chaps."

0:21:19 > 0:21:21She really hurt you, didn't she?

0:21:21 > 0:21:24We're not talking about me. We're talking about you.

0:21:24 > 0:21:30And you turned one gay, got one arrested and you killed the other.

0:21:30 > 0:21:31What else can happen?

0:21:34 > 0:21:38If I may chance my arm with a little more broaching, Howard...

0:21:38 > 0:21:39Howard?

0:21:39 > 0:21:41Howard and his partner potential.

0:21:41 > 0:21:44Howard and his partner potential?

0:21:44 > 0:21:46This isn't going to work if you just repeat what I say.

0:21:46 > 0:21:50No, but it delays me having to respond to it.

0:21:50 > 0:21:51Howard has his faults...

0:21:51 > 0:21:53His colossal pettiness!

0:21:53 > 0:21:55..but he's a good man,

0:21:55 > 0:21:58and I had no choice but to trust him and rely on him.

0:21:58 > 0:21:59We could do a lot worse.

0:21:59 > 0:22:01I doubt we could do much better.

0:22:06 > 0:22:10I'm done about six, so, say, 6.30?

0:22:11 > 0:22:14All right then, mate. Speak to you later. Bye.

0:22:16 > 0:22:17Hi.

0:22:17 > 0:22:21I meant to say something earlier about the mole on your neck.

0:22:21 > 0:22:26I'm a GP - not a melanoma or carcinoma guy especially,

0:22:26 > 0:22:29but I have seen a thing or two, catch my drift?

0:22:29 > 0:22:30Right.

0:22:30 > 0:22:34Now, it might not be malignant. So best to get it checked out.

0:22:34 > 0:22:35OK.

0:22:35 > 0:22:40And stay off the sunbed. What is this? Letherbridge Peach?

0:22:46 > 0:22:48See you later, Gordon.

0:22:49 > 0:22:50Bye.

0:22:53 > 0:22:55Was that Reverend Clement?

0:22:56 > 0:22:58He's coming in last thing. I'm doing his blood pressure.

0:22:58 > 0:23:02He suddenly feels the urgent need of getting it done.

0:23:02 > 0:23:06It is very important to monitor your blood pressure.

0:23:06 > 0:23:08Now, I was hoping to get off a little early...

0:23:08 > 0:23:11He's not bothered about his blood pressure!

0:23:11 > 0:23:13If he wants a date, what's the problem?

0:23:15 > 0:23:16He is a man of the cloth.

0:23:16 > 0:23:17So?

0:23:19 > 0:23:20I do not know.

0:23:20 > 0:23:21He's a man!

0:23:23 > 0:23:26Somebody's got to tell you this - it might as well be me.

0:23:26 > 0:23:28Pee or get off the pot.

0:23:28 > 0:23:29PHONE RINGS

0:23:29 > 0:23:33- Mill Health Centre, how can I help? - Hello, it's Louisa Truelove.

0:23:33 > 0:23:36Dr Haskey? Personal? Putting you through.

0:23:37 > 0:23:40PHONE RINGS

0:23:41 > 0:23:44Dr Haskey speaking.

0:23:44 > 0:23:45I called him, I spoke to him,

0:23:45 > 0:23:48and I'm supposed to be meeting him in an hour, but I can't do it.

0:23:48 > 0:23:51It's going to be a disaster, I know it is. I can't go.

0:23:52 > 0:23:53Repeat after me.

0:23:54 > 0:23:58I am a good person and I deserve a good man.

0:24:00 > 0:24:02'I am a good person and...'

0:24:02 > 0:24:04I deserve a good man.

0:24:04 > 0:24:06Yes, you do.

0:24:06 > 0:24:07Now go out there and get him.

0:24:23 > 0:24:25Louisa?

0:24:25 > 0:24:26Mr Wright.

0:24:27 > 0:24:28Thanks for the chocolates.

0:24:28 > 0:24:30That wasn't too stalky, was it?

0:24:30 > 0:24:33No. Not at all. It was a lovely thing to do.

0:24:36 > 0:24:39So, dinner, then. Somewhere special, I think.

0:24:39 > 0:24:40Yeah.

0:24:40 > 0:24:42Your hair looks very beautiful.

0:24:42 > 0:24:43Oh, it's just...

0:24:49 > 0:24:51Actually, can I do something first?

0:24:51 > 0:24:52Yeah, whatever you want.

0:24:58 > 0:24:59He's not coming.

0:25:02 > 0:25:03Who is not coming?

0:25:03 > 0:25:06Gordon. Something horrible has happened

0:25:06 > 0:25:09and he's had to go off and do some vicaring. He's just phoned.

0:25:11 > 0:25:13I was not expecting the reverend.

0:25:14 > 0:25:18I was hoping to get return tickets to see Madame Butterfly.

0:25:18 > 0:25:19He likes you.

0:25:19 > 0:25:20It is on at the Hippodrome.

0:25:20 > 0:25:22I'm sure he does.

0:25:24 > 0:25:26He might be the right button.

0:25:27 > 0:25:29That is enough haberdashery talk.

0:25:34 > 0:25:37Keep them till you're done with your daft detox.

0:25:37 > 0:25:38They're a thank you from both of us.

0:25:42 > 0:25:46Why is my neighbour kissing Al? Giving him chocolates?

0:25:46 > 0:25:47Buttons, chocolates, the world's gone mad!

0:25:59 > 0:26:00Salted caramels.

0:26:00 > 0:26:02Yeah.

0:26:02 > 0:26:03See you.

0:26:06 > 0:26:07What about the supermarket shop?

0:26:07 > 0:26:10I can carry the heavy stuff. Look at me.

0:26:10 > 0:26:11No pressure.

0:26:11 > 0:26:12Thanks.

0:26:12 > 0:26:14No, though.

0:26:14 > 0:26:16I've already done it online.

0:26:16 > 0:26:17See you.

0:26:29 > 0:26:31PHONE: 'When your gut gets in the way,

0:26:31 > 0:26:33'shut your mouth and have your say.'

0:26:36 > 0:26:39'When your gut gets in the way, shut your mouth and have...'

0:26:39 > 0:26:40Had enough, as you can tell.

0:26:42 > 0:26:46Hello, salted caramel.

0:26:56 > 0:27:00TV TURNS ON

0:27:04 > 0:27:05Aaah!

0:27:05 > 0:27:08I'll be with you in second. Ambulance, please.

0:27:08 > 0:27:10Letherbridge University, campus surgery.

0:27:10 > 0:27:13Have you eaten yet? Want to join me in a sandwich?

0:27:13 > 0:27:17Why don't you just ask me, Em, if you want to know.

0:27:17 > 0:27:19Hiding from someone, Mrs Tembe?

0:27:20 > 0:27:24No. I was checking this plant for greenfly.

0:27:41 > 0:27:44Subtitles by Red Bee Media